tag with tzmr please--- so i thought that i was ace but i ended up being the one initiating something sexual with my partner and now i feel so awkward around them and i don't even know who i am anymore. i thought i had found out what i was in sexual orientation (because i haven't felt like that with anyone else but them) i just dont know anymore... [i realise that this is more kinda a rant so im sorry, i just have trouble with wording]
Upon reading your message, I wanted to send you this link on the blog about sexuality and gender. I feel you could really use this right now :)
Tips for people who are figuring out their sexuality and/or gender:
Itâs okay to change what you identify as! If you think youâre bisexual, then one day go âoh wait Iâm pansexualâ thatâs okay!You donât have to label yourself if you donât want to! A lot of people donât want to or feel the need to label their sexuality and/or gender identification. When asked about it, these people usually say that theyâre queer. If you decide to not label your gender, itâs a good idea to figure out if thereâs a set of pronouns you prefer, or if you donât mind what pronouns people use for you.If you want to not identify as anything and just like who you like and be who you are without a label for a period of time until all this stuff becomes less confusing, thatâs okay!Gender and sexuality are not related! What gender you identify as and who youâre romantically and/or sexually attracted to are not related!Youâre not alone! There are tons of people who are going to go through this, are going through this, or have been through this!Weâre here for you! You can talk to us and send us any questions! You donât have to figure all this stuff out without support!Your pronouns, your choice! Whether you choose to go by female, male, or neutral pronouns, itâs your choice. Some people donât mind what pronouns are used for them. Some people prefer one of two used (i.e. if someone is okay with he/his or they/theirs, but not she/hers).Your name, your choice! Our heteronormative and cisnormative society likes to label names with genders. Bullshit! Names have nothing to do with whatâs in your pants or what you identify as! Go with a name that you like and identify with! Some people who are non-binary prefer to have a name that society considers gender neutral. Some people donât feel the need to change their name at all, or prefer a different name to their birth name for their own reasons, and thatâs okay!Like sexualities, itâs okay to change your mind about your gender identification! Just make sure that you know what you are before you go through any hormone replacement therapy or have any surgeries, if you choose to.Everything is going to be okay! Everything that youâre going through is completely natural and normal!
Now.. Iâve heard about something called the âAce Umbrellaâ. What is that, you say? I'll tell you. Thereâs a gray area between asexuality and non-asexuality. Â Some people say that they occasionally experience sexual attraction, yet still relate to asexuality. Â The ace umbrella encompasses asexuals, as well as people in this gray area. Some people, known as âgray-asexualsâ, experience sexual attraction infrequently or not very strongly or possibly arenât quite sure whether or not what they experience is sexual attraction. One subtype of gray-asexuals, known as âdemisexualsâ, can experience sexual attraction only after developing a close emotional bond with someone.
Read more about this here :)
It could be that you have found someone you wanted to be sexually involved with, and it's just with that person and you feel nothing else for anyone.. but I hope this has helped a little about you questioning your sexuality. Even if you're still questioning things, it's completely okay. You're doing wonderful, love :)