Send me a ℑ to shuffle my i-pod.
The song that comes up will be made into a starter.
is this LOVE? - Ayumi Hamasaki || tylithe
She can feel it in her b o n e s even when she’s not looking, even when she’s distracted trying to stitch something together so that it’ll look pretty enough and keep the bad thoughts a w a y. But her stitches look crooked and she might as well undo it all and try again tomorrow. Except giving them up would imply giving up on what they are hiding and succumbing to the internal need to SCREAM at Ty Lee!
So instead she’s just looking bitterly at the other guessing at w h o is probably going through her mind again. Oh, she knows it well enough, it’s SO easy to guess! And yet, if she s a i d it it would feel like losing the game. Not that it’s a game, not that p e o p l e are a game. People are people and they need to be cared for and paid attention to and why was no one paying attention to HER?! For one day, two m a y b e, Mary could bear the very real idea that she wasn’t f i r s t in everybody’s mind, but it had been too long and she still felt TOO far away.
It wasn’t such a childish and petulant thing as throwing a temper tantrum for not having her every whim attended to ( at least she would like to think so ) but it was just so painful to know she could not b r e a k through that shell, that no matter how much she try, the other girl was just gonna keep to herself and NEVER share the pain that sometimes filled her face when Mary wasn’t looking. Except Mary was good at p r e t e n d i n g not to look, she was good at c a r i n g. Perhaps too good, good enough that it should cause her p a i n. Why was the only answer to her friend’s emotional distance so far away and unreachable?
❝ It is no good of you to keep w a s t i n g your thoughts like that. ❞ How low and mumbled and with a touch more of bitterness than she would’ve liked. But she does not regret any s y l l a b l e. ❝ I once sat down at a window for days waiting for someone to return. They never did and I had to find someone e l s e to talk to. ❞
Defying eyes rise to meet Ty Lee’s, almost DARING her to say she was wrong in what she was seeing. I am right here! Talk to me! Listen to me! Trust me! I am tired of seeing you wait for someone who won’t come! She could c r y, how painful to want to help someone who will not let themselves be helped! It is one of life’s greatest d i s g r a c e s and she will not have it last any longer!
