#twodrunkcelestials

I am not quite sure what to think about this but Here It Is! I drew this for @twodrunkencelestials & @apatheticbutterflies’s selkie fic because I was really enjoying all the monstrousness! (sorry for the probably-unexpected gore!!)

also here’s another little sketch of a moment that I really liked. haircuts-that-give-you-agency are always my jam

Jirou could feel the grip of the knife jab him in the side as they rode along in Kaki’s car, to where Kaki knew this guy would be. He still didn’t like having it there, but he supposed it was a ‘just in case’ sort of thing. He certainly wasn’t going to use it. Jirou used a staff for a reason - he didn’t like the idea of killing anyone, and that was difficult to accomplish using a staff. Less difficult with a knife. Jirou downed almost all of his tea pretty quickly, though it burned the inside of his mouth as it went down. He needed it, though, so he ignored the pain for now. Kaki pulled over at a seemingly random location and hopped out of the car, going to the trunk for her weapons. Ed and Jirou followed in suit, taking their own things from the trunk. “Remember Jirou. You have that knife, don’t be afraid to use it. David’s served me well. And if we tell you to scoot, you scoot. Fast. Run as fast as you can okay?” Ed told Jirou and they followed a nearly running Kaki to a small, secluded park. It took Jirou a moment to realize where they were - it was past the fairhaven area, in a huge park with lots of wooded areas to hide in. Kaki was hurrying to one of those areas now, Wakizashi in hand, ready to strike. Ed followed her at the heal, with his blessed blade gleaming in moonlight. Jirou was last, holding his staff close, feeling the knife bounce at his hip. He still hated that. Kaki let out a shout and Jirou saw a spurt of red, and saw a head roll. Did she really have to start all of her fights by decapitating people? It really wasn’t very nice at all. The others in the small wooded area jumped, looking towards Kaki, who was still in the lead. Jirou saw four people now, since one was dead, someone in the middle and three people standing around him. The one in the middle pointed towards Kaki and a bolt of lightening came flying towards her, but Ed reacted quickly, pushing Kaki and himself out of the way. They wound up back to back, as per usual, looking ready for a fight. Jirou clutched his staff close, keeping as close to Ed and Kaki as he could. Before he could join them at their backs, though, someone appeared in front of him. Excellent. It was a fight now. Jirou got himself in a ready position, twirling his staff a little bit, waiting for the other one to make the first move. He surprised Jirou a little bit by pointing, and saying something in a language Jirou didn’t understand. Then a stream of fire came towards him. Jirou slammed the butt of his staff on the ground, and a large wall of earth came up in front of him, protecting him from the blast. Fire. That was something he was used to, at least. However Jirou was taken by surprise when a spire of earth appeared beside him and rammed into his side. Jirou stumbled, his arm going to his side to hold where he had been hit. His attacked came around the face Jirou again, and before Jirou could do much he was disarmed, he assumed by magic, his staff flying through the air and landing in a bit of dirt a while off. Jirou froze. Now what? 'The knife,’ he remembered, grabbing it from his belt, holding it out towards his attacker. He felt his hands shaking a little, as he continued to back away from his attacker. Now what, now what, now what. He felt himself wanting to attack, but found himself frozen. He just couldn’t do it, he couldn’t do anything with this. He felt his heart racing in his chest, thinking so loud it was all he could hear. Jirou fell backwards, tripping over his own feet. He felt the earth under his palms, and got into a defensive position, ready to burrow if necessary. But he heard someone calling his name, a long bang, then the person in front of him fell over, half dead. He heard another loud bang, and that finished him. Jirou looked up. He saw Ed with gritted teeth, smoke rising from his shotgun in an outstretched hand. His face was somewhere between fear, distress and rage, though it quickly turned to pain and he yelped when something hit him from behind. A bolt of lightening, it looked like. Jirou found himself frozen on the ground, his hands still shaking, his heart still racing, watching everything else unfold. Jirou was surprised to find that Kaki and Ed had only managed to take down one other, meaning one goin and the leader were still left. They were serious when they said nasty. But upon seeing Ed hit by magic, and Jirou on the ground doing nothing, Kaki shouted in rage, going for the leader now with her rapier in hand. She made a noise of pure rage, stabbing her sword through his chest. Ed turned his attention to that, ignoring the last mook, holding out his shotgun and firing towards the leader. He wasn’t going to let this guy death curse, that was for sure. The man looked surprised upon being stabbed, and let out a choke, falling backwards, dead, upon being shot in the gut. Kaki shouted again, turning towards the mook, who was now cowering and not bothering fighting back when Kaki jabbed her rapier through his neck. Jirou felt himself flinch a little at that, seeing Kaki so angry. She pulled her rapier back, and wiped it clean on her now red-stained gray cloak, not just from the rapier either, she was just covered in blood, her own, Ed’s, the Lawbreakers… She sheathed the rapier, and turned towards Jirou, who had taken the opportunity to stand up. “Jirou Yukimura!” Kaki shouted, and Jirou stood at attention immediately. It wasn’t exactly his true name, but it was very close, close enough it made his heart nearly stop in his chest. “What in the fuck was that?!” She kept going, marching towards him, Ed hurrying after her. “You retreated? Really! You had a fucking knife! You go for it!” Kaki ranted. Jirou lowered his head, looking up at Kaki only a little. “You’re absolutely useless, aren’t you?!” Kaki had swapped to Japanese. Apparently she was that upset with him. Jirou felt his shoulders tense up a little, trying to make himself as small as possible. He ended up almost at Kaki’s height, three inches shorter than him. "Ed had to step in to save your ass, and because of it he got hurt! Sure, it’s Ed, he’s fine. But what if it was one of your new friends Jirou? You can’t have people keep risking themselves to protect you! How do you expect to become a Warden if you can’t kill anyone?!” Kaki raised her hand, as if she was about to hit him, but Ed grabbed her wrist. “Enough,” he told her a little firmly. “Enough,” he repeated, more gently this time. Ed knew the only reason why Kaki was so upset was because Ed got hurt - that generally got her pretty angry. To Kaki, she was expendable. Ed wasn’t. Every time Ed got hit with anything, it hurt Kaki a little more. Then again, Ed was much the same about Kaki. It was generally a bad idea to hurt either one, because the other would kill you before you had a chance to consider begging for your life. “Come on,” Ed said quietly, pushing Kaki away a little bit. Kaki still didn’t look happy, but she was clearly starting to reevaluate what she almost did, and she stomped away. Jirou sunk to the ground, feeling himself starting to panic a little bit. “Jirou…” Ed started, holding out a hand to help him up. He looked like he felt sorry for the poor kid. “Go away,” Jirou said quietly, curling his knees up to his chest, hiding his face a little. “Ji-” Ed started, but Jirou cut him off. “Go away! Just go away. I do not want you here,” Jirou snapped at him. He definitely didn’t want that angry car ride home with Kaki, and he didn’t feel like facing Ed either. Besides, he knew he was about to cry, and he definitely wasn’t going to do that in front of Ed or Kaki. Ed let out a small sigh, but began to wander away. Jirou couldn’t see him do it, but Ed had grabbed Jirou’s staff for him, and had put it by his side. Then Ed was gone, and Jirou was alone in the small wooded area, curled up tightly. And he began to cry.

Jirou cried for a while. After he was done panicking about being yelled at and almost hit by Kaki Yukimura, his hero, his idol, his cousin, his master, and one of the best family members he’d ever had, he panicked a bit about the battle in general. He could have died, all because he couldn’t stab someone, all because he couldn’t kill anyone. Then he cried out of pure hurt at what Kaki had said to him. Her words to him were harsh, a little harsher than usual, and coming from Kaki Yukimura, it hurt him even worse. Jirou really did feel useless, and horrible, and he just wanted to cry over it for a while. He cried about how much of a coward he was, about how he couldn’t kill anyone. He cried about how Ed had sacrificed himself to save Jirou, how Ed had let himself get hurt on Jirou’s behalf. He cried because maybe if he were Shinichi, Kaki wouldn’t have had this problem. Eventually Jirou couldn’t cry anymore. He ran out of tears, and ran out of energy. He still didn’t move though, he just sat curled up on the ground, his arms around his knees and his chin rested on the top of his knees. He wasn’t sure how long it had been, but he soon found out. “Jirou?” The voice was familiar, that was for sure. Jirou looked up to see who was talking, but whoever it was they were a little too far away. Jirou had taken off his glasses - it was a pain to cry with them on - so he couldn’t see much too far away. Jirou squinted a little, then solved the problem by putting his glasses on his face. Anteres came into focus, a concerned look on his face, bow in hand, looking ready for a fight. “Anteres?” Jirou realized. Jirou didn’t often use his full name - it was hard for him to pronounce - but he was a little surprised by his appearance. “What the hell happened here?” Anteres wondered, looking around. There were still five bodies littered about, Jirou realized. “Warden stuff,” Jirou explained, wiping his eyes under his glasses again. He hoped it didn’t look like he had been crying. “Jesus,” Anteres said, looking around. “Are… You okay? Jirou?” He asked. Shit. “I am… Fine,” Jirou answered, but he heard his voice waver a little, as if he might cry again. Anteres wandered over, crouching beside Jirou. “How about we go get some tea?” Anteres suggested, looking at Jirou with a gentle smile. Jirou nodded at Anteres, and managed to make himself move, reaching over and grabbing his staff, then hesitantly reaching for Ed’s knife. “Jirou… You didn’t…” Anteres trailed off, his gaze moving to some of the bodies littering the ground. Jirou knew what he was talking about though, and shook his head. “That is just the problem. I could not,” Jirou said quietly, slipping the knife back between his belt loops. “Tell me all about, Jirou, over some tea,” Anteres said. “I’m okay with the idea of you not being able to hurt someone.”

Jirou learned he had spent the rest of the night and a portion of the morning in the park, and it was now almost nine o'clock. Anteres was out early because it was summer, and he certainly wasn’t going to be caught dead out past eleven. It would be way too hot for him. Jirou and Anteres ended up in a Tim Hortons, there was one on fairlight, close enough to where they were. Jirou got himself a green tea, and Anteres got something cold, of course. “So what happened to you?” Anteres wondered. “It all started last night. Ed woke me up in the middle of the night, saying there was a nasty lawbreaker around and they wanted me along with this one. They really did mean nasty - I have seen Kaki Yukimura take out eight out of twelve people once, consecutively, barely taking any hits herself. There were five today, and she and Ed barely managed. Anyway, before we left Ed gave me his knife. Said I would need it. But when it came down to it I… I just could not use it. I could not bring myself to… Ed got hurt because of it, and Kaki got so mad at me. She said… She called me useless. Asked how I expected to become a warden if I could not kill anyone,” Jirou repeated, looking sad again. “She… She almost hit me. She was so upset. And why not? She is right. I always knew she should have chosen Shinichi.” “Jirou…” Anteres said quietly, frowning. “That’s not okay. Don’t blame yourself like that. She overreacted. Look… You don’t have to kill people to be a good person. On the contrary, you’re a very good person. Maybe better than those two are. You know it’s not okay to kill, and that’s alright.” Jirou was silent for a moment, still feeling kind of sad. “How do you do it?” Jirou asked suddenly, quietly, “how are you so okay with it?” “I comes with time,” Anteres explained, “eventually it just gets easier. You stop thinking about it. Probably why it’s so easy for Kaki, too. How many people do you think she’s killed? Eventually it just gets easy, as long as you don’t think about it.” Jirou frowned, looking unhappy with that. “That is why I do not like it. I do not want to be like that,” Jirou said, “n-no offence…” “Again, that’s a good thing, I think,” Anteres said, “you don’t have to kill people to be good, or effective, or useful. Maybe one day you will. Maybe one day you won’t. No matter what, you’re fine the way you are, okay?” Jirou smiled a little. That felt kind of nice. Years of being pitted against someone who was better than him, told he had to get better, told he had to change… It was nice when people told him he was fine the way he was. “Thank you,” Jirou said, a little quietly. “Man though that won’t be a fun conversation when you get home,” said Anteres, now trying to lighten the mood a little. Jirou let out a sigh. He already knew that. “No, it really will not be,” Jirou agreed. He wasn’t sure how long Kaki would be mad at him, and he didn’t want to think about it, but he was going to have to face her eventually. He really didn’t want to. It did go better than expected, though.

Jirou checked the time, wondering if it was worth it to go back to sleep. His sleeping schedule needed some work, since it took him at least two weeks to get over the jet lag, and even after that, he didn’t go to school in Canada - mid-semester, not to mention, he wouldn’t have time for school with all his training. School had generally kept his sleeping schedule regular back home, but now he had nothing but training, and considering his primary hand-to-hand combat trainer was a night owl with a problematic sleeping schedule of his own, Jirou often slept in. Eight thirty. He figured he could sleep another hour or two, but he didn’t see a point now, especially since he could hear something in the kitchen. Kaki was awake. She and Ed had actually come home last night, though Ed had left early this morning. Apparently he had actual work to do at his day job. Ed was a mortician in his free time, and they needed him at the morgue today. Jirou eventually decided to slide out of bed. He wiped at his eyes once more before reaching for his glasses and putting them on, the world coming more into focus. It wasn’t like he had terrible vision, but he was nearsighted, and some things were a little blurry. Jirou stood, making a noise of complaint as he did. Then he wandered into the kitchen to see what Kaki was up to. Kaki looked to be just as tired as he was, putting a kettle on the stove to make some coffee. It was the last thing she did in the morning, after getting ready to go. Jirou thought it was crazy - caffeine should be the first thing. “Good morning,” Jirou greeted in Japanese without much thinking. It was early, and English was hard. “Morning,” Kaki greeted, following suit in regards to language. Jirou forgot sometimes in was her first language too. “Can you boil some for me too? I’m going to have some tea,” Jirou asked, not bothering swapping. Usually Kaki would scold him, tell him to speak English, even with her. To be fair, his English was very poor, so he understood why. Kaki complied, pouring more water into the kettle. Jirou found himself a cup, and after a moment of thought he decided on some earl grey tea. The water didn’t take long - Kaki sped it along a little bit - and soon the two were sitting at the dinning room table, sipping their drinks in silence. Kaki had grabbed a journal, as she usually did, and was writing. Jirou just sat and stared for a while. “Hey Jirou,” Kaki said suddenly, swapping back to English, snapping Jirou back to reality. She had paused her writing, and was now looking at him. “What?” Jirou wondered, shaking himself out of the daze a little. “Can you do me a favour? I need you to take something to Ed, at the morgue. I have some stuff to do today, very important Warden stuff,” Kaki asked. Jirou shrugged a little. “Sure,” he agreed. “Okay,” Kaki said, smiling a little, reaching over and grabbing a few files. “Falsified documents, courtesy of Eric Becker. With all the funeral nonsense and such going on, we needed a few… Paper trails. All the magic involved and all that,” Kaki explained. She wouldn’t get into too much detail - mostly it pertained to Maya and Evelyn Henderson, the time travellers. Technically they were still alive, so their death certificates were a little… Complicated. But that’s what they had Ed and Eric for - false documents and covering up suspicious deaths. “These are very, very important, Jirou Yukimura. If you lose them…” Kaki shook her head a little. “I will keep them safe,” Jirou said, putting them in his messenger bag, all ready to go. “Thanks Jirou,” Kaki said. She finished the rest of her coffee in one big gulp and stood up, pulling her long hair into a ponytail. “Do no forget - those should get to Ed today, while he is in the morgue.” She wandered to the door, grabbing her belt, frog, and three swords, putting them all in their proper spots. Her rapier at her right hip, and her katana and Wakizashi at her left, angled a little towards her back. Then she grabbed her gray wardens cloak - she was serious about whatever wardens duty she had to do today, if it warranted all three of her swords. Then she left, waving to Jirou on her way out. Jirou let out a small sigh, looking towards his messenger bag. Great. Ed. Jirou wasn’t exactly fond of the guy, and he certainly wasn’t sure what Kaki saw in him. She could do so much better than that. He was loud, and crass, and kind of an asshole, not to mention he liked to jump into things without thinking. Ugh. Not to mention, Jirou didn’t like the idea of a morgue. But it was important to Kaki, so Jirou would do this for her. Jirou finished his tea, and stretched out again. He let out a long noise, a tired groan. Oh well. He should break his habit of doing nothing all day anyway. He went into the bedroom to grab some clothes, his usual t-shirt, jeans, sweater, all bland colours, gray, brown, dull blue. Jirou didn’t like to stick out very much. He made sure to put on some extra layers though, long socks, a long sleeved shirt under his t-shirt. It was cold out, and Jirou hated the cold. He brushed out his curly mess of hair, to the best he could, though it was probably still all over the place. Jirou recovered his old, old iPod that he had hidden as far away from Kaki Yukimura as possible, so not to break it, and turned it on. Surprisingly it still worked. He plugged in some headphones and hung them around his neck for now. Next was his coat. A nice, warm winter parka. Toque, scarf, mitts, the whole deal. Kaki was lucky to have that enchanted wardens cloak that always kept her the right temperature. Not to mention easy to wash. Jirou grabbed his messenger bag next, then he put his headphones in. He used to have a Bluetooth set back home, but then he learned he could use magic. They didn’t last long. Jirou put on his boots slowly. He still didn’t exactly want to go to the morgue, but he had already agreed, still, didn’t mean he couldn’t buy some time. He checked the time before he left - he didn’t want to end up waiting for a bus longer than he had to - but it looked like the five was coming right away, so Jirou headed out. He walked his way to the high school in the neighbourhood - Bedford? He was sure that was it - where the closest bus stop was. He gazed at the school for a moment, a small grin on his face. Something he wouldn’t have to worry about ever again. It was nice being a wardens apprentice. There were a few buses that wee available to him - Kaki lived in a prime location for that, but the five would be here the fastest. About three minutes after he got there, the bus came. The one thing this city wasn’t good at was public transport, and Jirou was finding that out the hard way. It took him sometimes at least an hour to get somewhere. He was lucky, really, to live with Kaki close to the heart of the city. He still didn’t like it, but at least he didn’t live on an extreme end having to get to another. At least the bus he was on would get him all the way to where he needed to go. He could sit back and relax until then.

The bus ride was, as per usual, boring and uneventful, but eventually Jirou got off at the university, outside Place Riel. Now from here he would have to do some figuring. He knew it was this morgue Ed was at, but he had no idea where it was. Somewhere in the hospital? He would have to find a map somewhere. Either that or Kiya, if she was around, but Jirou wasn’t sure where she would be either. Well, here went nothing. Jirou started walking towards RUH, deciding if he couldn’t find a map he could just wander until he found the place. But Jirou did manage to find a map eventually, and he discovered he was headed in the right direction. But now he knew exactly where he was going. Jirou hurried off - the faster he could get out of the cold, the better. It was nice inside RUH, not cold, that was. Jirou didn’t like hospitals, so he decided the quicker he got this over with the better. With direction from signs, Jirou hurried off, and though he got lost a few times, he eventually made it to the right place. Okay, now what. Now he had to find Ed, and he had no idea where to start. He could just wander aimlessly, but the people her might not like that so much. So Jirou worked up his courage to ask someone. He generally didn’t like talking to people, let alone strangers, but it wasn’t like he had a choice now. “Um, hello,” Jirou said to the first person he saw walk by. The man he talked to didn’t even seem to notice Jirou until he spoke - just the way Jirou liked it - and when he did, the stranger jumped a little. “Oh, hello. Are you lost?” He asked, stopping now and turning towards Jirou. “Um, sort of. I am looking for Ed Danvers?” Jirou asked a little shyly. “Oh, Ed,” the man pointed down the hall. “He should be in his office. If he’s not, then he’s probably doing some work. You can wait in there for him, though,” he explained, “it’s the second one on the left.” “Th-thank you,” Jirou said with a nod, before hurrying off. He was glad there were no questions - then again these people worked with Ed. They’d probably seen a few odd things in their time and didn’t bother with questions anymore. Jirou stopped at Ed’s office, peering inside. He wasn’t there. Great. Jirou looked down the hall, wondering if he could just go find Ed. Well, he was going to give it his best shot. He didn’t want to wait around all day. So he kept going, peering in all the open doors he could. Eventually he did find Ed, and the man he had seen earlier was right. He was working.

Jirou was made immediately uncomfortable, for a lot of reasons. The first, dead bodies weren’t exactly nice things, and there was one right there. Not to mention, it was the body of a kid, probably eleven or twelve. That in itself was uncomfortable. Then there was Ed, working away carefully. Jirou wasn’t sure exactly what he was doing, but he knew the gist of it - preparing bodies for a funeral. It wasn’t just that Ed was working that made Jirou a little uncomfortable, but the way he was doing it. His entire demeanour had changed from what Jirou was used to. Usually Ed gave off a strong aura, a very cocky and audacious one. But right now, it was very different. It was a sad one, a gentle one. There was an heir of upmost respect from him, of professionalism. Jirou wasn’t sure how he felt about that. “What a shame,” he heard from Ed, who was muttering to himself a little bit. “Poor kid,” he sighed. Jirou knew he probably shouldn’t be standing there spying on Ed, but something about the scene intrigued him, and he ended up standing there for quite some time. He wasn’t sure how long, but he knew it was time to skedaddle when Ed stood up and stretched out, seeming to be headed out soon. “Time for some coffee,” Jirou heard from Ed as he dashed down the hall, the opposite way of Ed’s office. He dashed around a corner, and peered out. He wasn’t done spying just yet. Ed headed down the hall the other way, and Jirou watched after him. Eventually he went into his office. Okay, now what? He had almost completely forgotten what he was actually here for, no caught up in the fascination of Ed’s work. He supposed he would just wait for Ed to leave again. But that plan was sort of foiled by a middle aged woman knocking on the door to Ed’s office. It didn’t matter anyway - things were about to get even more uncomfortable for Jirou. Ed opened the door to his office and Jirou could see the surprise where he was standing. “Oh, hey, I’m still working on some stuff with regards to your son…” He heard from Ed. “I know I… Just wanted to know how things are going,” The woman responded. She sounded empty - something was certainly wrong with her, but Jirou hadn’t clicked the pieces together just yet. “The preparations are almost finished, everything will be ready for the service tomorrow, I promise,” Ed told her, “do you want to go over that with me?” The woman was mid-nod when she started to cry. Then everything clicked for Jirou - that kid in the morgue. Jirou felt something inside him - lots of things, really. And it all grew when he saw a somber-faced Ed comforting a mourning mother. “I’m so sorry,” he heard from Ed. One of the things Jirou felt was a sudden respect - it couldn’t be easy, what Ed did. What he had to do on a regular basis. Jirou understood a lot more about Ed than he did this morning. The next was a terrible sadness - he had been feeling that since he entered the place, but it just grew the longer he stayed, and now it was really bad. This poor woman and her poor son. Then, understanding. Jirou understood everything, from Ed’s usual demeanour to his relationship with Kaki. Seeing Ed like this, it just all made sense. Jirou stopped spying then, turning around and pressing his back to the wall. He would wait until the woman left to talk to Ed. That didn’t take too long, though, maybe five or ten minutes before she left. Jirou made sure she was gone and Ed was safely back in his office before he continued forward, though. He didn’t want Ed to know he was spying, though he wasn’t sure that was possible. Jirou himself looked somber now. Ed’s door was open, and he was bent over his desk, writing some things. Then he stood and wandered over to a cabinet, humming something to himself. Was that ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper?’ God Ed was weird. Jirou gave a small knock before wandering in, trying his best to keep a straight face. But he had been through so much emotionally lately, he wasn’t sure he could. He kind of felt like crying from all this. “Hey! Kid what’s up?” Ed asked, changing back to his usual self when he noticed Jirou. “I… Uh,” Jirou looked up towards Ed, not sure what to say. He remembered what he was here for now, but he just wasn’t sure what to say. It was then that Jirou made a terrible mistake. He wasn’t ever told about the power of soulgazing, so upon meeting Ed’s eyes he was left to a horribly confusing time. Strange, terrible visions, strange, terrible emotions that made everything he was already feeling worse. First he felt the sorrow he had already been feeling exemplified, to a horrible extreme, like someone close to him was gone forever. He heard the ocean, and thunder, and screaming, and it changed to a terrible anger. Then he felt like he was drowning, like he couldn’t breathe, and he could see the water line above him, hearing someone calling a name. Regret, death, more anger, then a calm, after the storm. It moved, and now he felt owned, possessed, like he was doing things he didn’t want to do, and he saw a figure, huge, overwhelming, holding a trident. He felt his heart in his chest, loud, feeling it in his ears. “Elevated, but there!” Next he got an image of something he had already seen, Ed working, doing his job, a somber feeling coming over him again. Then he felt a longing, a feeling of reminiscence. Finally, Jirou was treated with some relief, hearing Kaki’s laugh and feeling a sense of pure adoration. When Jirou snapped back, his breathing was heavy, his heart was racing, and there were tears coming down his face. He was stuck somewhere between crying out of panic and crying out of sadness. Either way, his instinctive reaction was to do the childish thing and just cry, though he was trying to calm himself a little. “Hey kid,” Ed said, taking completely by surprise by all this. “Kid uh… Can you… Oh god,” Jirou heard from Ed, though he wasn’t listening much anymore. Ed sighed a little, moving closer to Jirou, and putting a hand on his head, like he was going to ruffle his hair like usual, but gently, with no ruffling. “You really are just a kid, ain’t'cha? Jirou, it’s fine. Whatever you saw in there, it’s fine. I’m over it,” Ed told Jirou quietly. “Guess you’ve never soulgazed before, huh? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. You don’t look at people when you talk to them. Jeez mine was probably the worst soul for you to look at.” “S-soul?” Jirou stuttered out. He wiped at his eyes and his face, calming down much easier now that the horrible images were fading from his mind. “Yeah. It’s one of the unfortunate parts of being a wizard, kid. If you look someone in the eye, you’re really looking right into their soul. What you just saw was mine. And I saw yours,” Ed explained. “That was…” Jirou trailed off. What he saw was horrible - that was Ed’s soul? What had Ed gone through that the innermost part of him looked like that. Jirou sniffled a bit. He had managed to stop crying, thank goodness, that was a little embarrassing. He tried to stay as stoic as possible, but that had been hard, especially considering he had already been having a bit of a hard time. “What does my soul look like?” Jirou wondered suddenly. Ed paused for a moment. “Lonely,” he decided eventually, “under appreciated.” Jirou looked up at Ed, and Ed took the moment to look at Jirou’s eyes again. Horrible flashbacks of what he had just seen came back to him. It wasn’t as bad as the first time, but he remembered it vividly. Clearly so did Ed, because he frowned a little more. “Kinda sad,” he continued. “Not as sad as yours I bet,” Jirou commented, trying to lighten the mood a little. Ed noticed his attempt to shift tones, and he followed along, his usually stupid grin appearing on his face. “Ain’t no one as tragic as me, kid,” he commented, now using his outstretched hand to ruffle Jirou’s hair. Jirou found himself understanding even more now - Ed had been sad and miserable for so long, of course he was a carefree asshole. Not to mention, there was one more thing, a strong thing, Jirou felt throughout Ed’s soul - the will to die. It wasn’t there anymore, but apparently it used to be. It explained his brashness too - it was one thing he was used to. “Oh! Right,” Jirou remembered suddenly, reaching into his bag and pulling out the folder of things Kaki had given to him. “Courtesy of Eric Becker, according to Kaki.” Ed took the things Jirou held out and took a look, wondering what they could be. “Ahhhaaa. Clever, Eric, clever,” he said, before shutting the folder and going to a filing cabinet, going to the bottom drawer. All it said on the front was 'REDACTED’, and Jirou had no idea what that meant. He decided not to ask questions, however much he wanted to. “Thanks. Finally that chapter is closed. No more hearing about any Henderson’s,” Ed said, turning towards Jirou. Jirou just nodded at Ed, knowing only vaguely what he was talking about. “I had better go,” Jirou said. Ed had work to do, and Jirou didn’t want to spend any more time here. It was really getting to him. “Alright kid,” Ed said, standing again. “I’ll see you later, okay?” Jirou nodded at that, and turned around to leave. He paused at the door, though, and turned to look at Ed. “Hey, uh, I am sorry,” Jirou told Ed. “What for?” Ed wondered, looking a little curious. “Well for one thing I looked at your soul. I do not know - I feel like I should be sorry for that. And also… Also I am sorry for not really understanding you I guess? I do not know,” Jirou said, rubbing the back of his head. “Eh. It’s fine. Your soul hurt me waaaayyy less than Kaki’s, as a matter of fact I probably hurt you more, so don’t worry about it. As for understanding, that’s fine too,” Ed said, waving his hand a little. “O-okay,” Jirou agreed, turning around completely. “S-see ya,” he continued, before dashing away. That was one of the worst things that had ever happened, the lot of it. Even so, Jirou was glad he ended up going to the morgue that day. He had learned far more than he ever would have through conversation.

Jirou had run into Ed hurrying down the street, copious amounts of flowers in his arms. He had almost quite literally run into him, considering Ed was rushing by and not paying attention. It took Jirou two callings of his name to get his attention. “Eh? Oh, Jirou, hey, sorry,” Ed answered eventually. He looked a little stressed out. “What is going on with you?” Jirou wondered, his head tilting a little. “Valentine’s Day, kid, it’s tomorrow,” Ed answered, beginning to walk again. Jirou followed him, now curious. “Oh yeah,” Jirou remembered. His sense of time was a little off lately, considering he wasn’t going to school at the moment. “But, wait…” Jirou trailed off. “You are worried about Valentine’s Day?” “Uh, yeah, it’s the first Valentine’s Day Kaki and I are spending as a couple,” Ed commented, pulling out a set of keys. “But White Day?” Jirou wondered. “The hell is White Day?” Ed asked, now he was looking confused. “Things must work different here I guess. Valentine’s Day is when girls give chocolate to boys. And White Day is when boys give chocolate to girls,” Jirou explained the quick version. “That is what it is like back home, anyway.” “Yeah that’s all one day here,” Ed explained. “Tomorrow,” he continued. He stopped at his car, opening up the door. “Want a ride, Kid?” Ed asked. Jirou just nodded, and climbed in the passengers seat. “So then what are you planning for tomorrow?” Jirou asked, now that he was a little less confused. “Oh god I don’t know. Flowers? Candy? Date? It’s like our first date all over again. I got so nervous I couldn’t shut up,” Ed answered, a small frown on his face. “Not to mention, your cousin’s being awful sneaky. I haven’t heard from her all day.” Jirou figured Kaki was doing something similar to Ed - preparing for tomorrow. Ed figured the same thing - after all, it was their first Valentine’s Day together. “So you said back home Valentine’s Day was when girls have to boys huh? Have you ever gotten any chocolate?” Ed wondered. Jirou always got flustered when anyone brought up his romantic life, and Ed kind of enjoyed poking the bear, so he just couldn’t help it. As expected, Jirou’s face began to flush red. “Once. Does not matter,” Jirou said. “Once? Really? Huh. I would expect you to be getting all the girls,” Ed joked. That Jirou laughed at a little. “No way. Shinichi is way more popular. Besides, less people I have to reject,” Jirou pointed out. “Fair enough, kid,” Ed answered. He rounded the corner down Avenue H. They were almost there. Jirou hadn’t been too far from home in the first place, just down on twenty second street, so of course they were almost there already. “See ya later kid,” Ed commented when he pulled up to Kaki’s apartment. Jirou gave a wave, and got out, and Ed sped away. Clearly he had more to do, and was still a little stressed. Jirou shook his head a little. He was glad he didn’t care much for romance - it seemed far too complicated for him.

Kaki used a little bit of magic to cool the chocolate - her fridge hadn’t worked basically since she moved in. Far too much magic. Jirou peered over Kaki’s shoulder - it wasn’t too hard, she was at least three inches shorter than him. “You can use magic for just about anything huh,” Jirou commented, a fascinated look on his face. “Of course. One day you will probably be using it for mundane things too,” Kaki answered, “like, you know, illuminating the apartment.” None of the lights worked in her apartment either - she shot those out about a week after she moved in and eventually she stopped bothering to replace them. Instead she had candles everywhere, and with a flick, they all lit up. Not to mention, her apartment had a lot of windows. “You know I really wish you had working lights in here sometimes. It is such a hassle to go around lighting all the candles,” Jirou said, with a small sigh. “Learn fire magic,” Kaki told him, turning around and ruffling his hair a bit. Great. Now Kaki was doing it too. “You are supposed to teach me that, you know,” Jirou told her. “It will come to you one day,” Kaki shrugged. She took her chocolates over to the other counter where she had a nice bag to put them in. Magic really sped this process along, Kaki though. Usually they would have to cool overnight. Kaki let out a small sigh, almost relieved. She hoped they tasted alright and she didn’t foul them up. Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day.

Kaki, as per usual, was up early. She actually stayed at her own place for once, leaving Jirou to sleep on the futon. Not that it mattered much anyway - Jirou left suddenly that evening and returned rather late - Kaki was already asleep. Ah, Spook Squad stuff. Kaki remembered those days of little sleep. It didn’t happen very much anymore, having to stay up late to deal with the supernatural. She had Jirou to deal with that now. Kaki sat up, stretching out and yawning a little. She felt her nerves come back a little, but she pushed those away. Everything would be fine. Kaki slid out of bed, rubbing her face as she stood up. She was going to need a shower, a long one. One thing that did work in her apartment, lucky for her, was her water heater. It was far enough away from her that she managed to not short it out every time she turned on the shower. So Kaki took a long one, a very warm one. It wasn’t much of a surprise that Kaki loved the heat - winter was her least favourite season - and she lived in Canada of all places - and she was a friend to the Summer Court of faeries. She loved hot showers, and she had a lot of time to have one. It was only maybe seven thirty, and Ed wouldn’t be up for another three hours at least. Kaki felt refreshed, a little more awake afterwards. Still, now she would need coffee. First she would get a little bit more ready for the day. If she didn’t brush her hair while it was wet it would go everywhere. It had gotten pretty long by now, going a little bit passed her shoulders, and it was really wavy, and sometimes it got a little overexcited. So she brushed it through, and decided to leave it down. She wasn’t going to answer any supernatural calls today, that was for sure, so she wouldn’t bother putting it up. She squeezed some of the water out of it, and brushed it again. Not being able to use a blow dryer anymore got really annoying sometimes, but she had time to wait for it to at dry. She moved to her makeup - she didn’t start any regular day without eyeliner sharp enough to kill someone. That took out at least forty five minutes of her time, and she had yet to decide what to wear. Usually Kaki liked skirts and t-shirts, baggy t-shirts (usually she stole Ed’s, especially now that they were dating). Easy to fight in, good to hide body armour under. But today she chose a dress, a red one to match the occasion. Off the shoulder sleeves, tight up top, but it poofed out at the bottom. It wasn’t incredibly fancy, but fancier than her usual skirt and t-shirt. She didn’t get to wear nice dresses very often, and she wasn’t going to miss an opportunity. Kaki reminded herself it was kind of chilly out - though surprisingly warm for the season, she wondered what was going on between winter and summer - so she found tights and a sweater. Then Kaki decided it was definitely coffee time. So she headed to the kitchen, trying to be as quiet as possible considering Jirou was sleeping in the living room. Though considering how late he was out last night, Kaki figured he must be wiped right out. Still, all the more reason to be quieter. Kaki snuck her way into the kitchen, and she started boiling some water. Kaki used a French press for coffee, mostly, and she liked mixing in a little hot chocolate for her coffee. Really Kaki enjoy it with a lot of cream, but she didn’t have a working fridge - the best she had was a cooler, which she kept cold with magic - so hot chocolate did the trick. Kaki took a seat at her dining room table, carefully sneaking her most recent journal from the bookshelf, close to where Jirou slept. Then she sat and wrote for a little while. She made a habit of writing in her journals daily, or at least, whenever she could. She always did write down anything important magic wise - Jirou would certainly find some use in the eventually. But today’s journal was very mundane. Words on how she was feeling, what day it was, that sort of thing. After she finished writing, she checked the time. She managed to kill two and a half hours so far - it was ten o'clock. Well, she had nothing better to do. Kaki gathered up her chocolates, and decided to get going. She instinctively reached for her cloak, but stopped herself. Not today, she remembered, and grabbed a black coat instead. Kaki snuck out the front door quietly, being sure to lock it behind her. Then she hurried to her car, still feeling a nervousness. She hoped Ed would like her chocolates.

It took Kaki maybe ten minutes to drive over - it should have taken fifteen, but Kaki liked to drive fast. She let out a deep breath before wandering up to the front door of Trident Crescent, and hesitated for just a moment before opening the door. Ed was passed out on the couch - this wasn’t a surprise. Despite it being months since he came back to life, there were a few things he still wasn’t good at. Like sleeping. He often forgot to go to his actual bed at night and ended up passing out on the couch. Kaki let out a small, happy sigh, feeling the nervousness go away, replaced only by absolute fondness, adoration and love for her ridiculous boyfriend. Kaki wandered over, giving Ed a kiss on the cheek. “Hey,” she said quietly, and Ed blinked his eyes open, awaking with a small start, nearly falling off the couch. Kaki started laughing a little, standing up straight now. “Kaki!” Ed realized, giving her a frown. Kaki just kept giggling, and eventually Ed couldn’t help but to smile too. It took a while, but eventually Kaki managed to stop. “When did you get here?” Ed wondered, now stretching out a little. “Just now,” Kaki answered. She bit her bottom lip a little bit before thrusting her chocolates out toward Ed. “Here!” She said. Ed looked curious for a moment, taking them from her and looking inside the bag at them. “Oh wow thanks Kaki,” Ed commented, his smile growing a little bit. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” Kaki said, now smiling herself. Ed took a chocolate and sampled it. “These are really good where did you get them?” He wondered, reaching for another. “I made them,” Kaki answered a little shyly. “Ah, so if I fall suddenly ill, I’ll know why,” Ed joked, grinning at Kaki. The shyness vanished, and Kaki gave him a quick hit on the shoulder. Ed laughed a little, his usually stupid grin on his face. Kaki felt herself melt a little. He was an asshole, but the most charming asshole you would ever meet. Kaki took a seat beside Ed, and almost just as she did, Ed stood up. “My turn,” he told her, hurrying off somewhere. 'His turn?’ She wondered. Kaki waited on the couch for Ed to return, which he did eventually, producing a huge bouquet of flowers. Pink and red roses, lots of them. Kaki was left speechless for a moment. “Wow, they are beautiful,” she said eventually, taking them from him, a huge smile on her face. “That’s not all. I also arranged a nice date for us tonight,” Ed said proudly, a grin on his face. Kaki stood up, going towards the kitchen to put her flowers away. “Oh? What are we doing?” Kaki called to Ed as she walked. “It’s a surprise!” Ed called back, before following her in. “Okay, fine,” Kaki agreed, though she considered pressing him for a moment. She figured a surprise would be more fun. Kaki trimmed all of her flowers and managed to find a vase to put them in - okay, it was a water jug. Ed didn’t have a vase, and he certainly didn’t use that water jug, so she was going to use it for flowers. “Well, what are we going to do until tonight then?” Kaki wondered. She had set the flowers to the side, and was about to turn around to face Ed when she felt him at her back. “I have an idea,” he told her, leaning over to kiss her jaw. Kaki paused for a moment, not exactly expecting that. Not that she should be surprised - this was Ed. “I like your idea,” she answered eventually, figuring out fairly quickly what he meant, a small grin appearing on her face.

Kaki and Ed passed most of the afternoon cuddling, among other things. Cuddling and talking. Kaki told Ed stories of all the other Valentine’s Days she’d had, making chocolate with her mother, giving chocolate to Maya. It felt nice, telling Ed all of it. She was sure by some point Ed would grow tired of Kaki talking about Maya, but he never did, he just listened carefully and did his best to help her out. “Do you know what it means to make someone chocolate?” Kaki wondered. Maya never did, so she didn’t think Ed did - unless Jirou told him. “Uh… Nice gesture?” Ed guessed. Kaki shook her head. “My mom told me that back home on Valentine’s Day, you gave out a lot of chocolate. Obligation chocolate and all that. That you buy at stores, and give to close friends, that sort of things. But to your boyfriend or lover, you should always make it by hand - they say it is not true love if you just buy chocolate,” Kaki explained, “so every year I made Maya chocolate, without ever telling her why. Maybe I hoped she knew? She never did find out. But it was fun making chocolate with my mom, and after I started giving Maya chocolate on Valentine’s Day, she started giving me some too. It was nice, exchanging it.” Kaki let out a small, reminiscent sigh. It all seemed so long ago. “Awww so you think it’s true love,” Ed joked, referring to the chocolates Kaki had given him this morning. “Of course,” Kaki answered seriously, turning her head to look at Ed. Eventually she just rolled over to face him, instead of having her back to his chest. “Good me too,” Ed agreed, now moving to give Kaki a kiss. This one was long, and gentle, and loving. Kaki smiled after eventually pulling away. Her boyfriend was ridiculous. “You really loved her though, huh,” Ed commented after a moment of quiet, now speaking on Maya. Kaki let out another sigh. “Yeah. Still do,” she admitted, her cheeks a little red. “I wish I did not. But I cannot just… It is a hard thing to let go.” “I know. That’s fine,” Ed told her. He certainly wasn’t going to tell her how to feel, and he knew that Kaki loved him too, and that’s what mattered to him really. Maya was out of the picture now, and it didn’t matter. Kaki curled a bit closer to Ed, her face by his neck, laying her head on one of his outstretched arms. The two were quiet for a while, enjoying each other’s company. That was what the day was all about after all. It was Ed who ended up breaking it. “Okay,” he said, pulling away and moving to stand up. “We should go right away.”

Ed had been serious about that 'surprise’ date, and he actually put quite an effort into himself for it too. A nice shirt, dress pants… For as conventionally unattractive Ed was, for some reason he just fit into dress clothes very nicely. Kaki rather enjoyed it anyway. Kaki double checked her makeup and hair, doing a few repairs here and there, making sure she looked top-notch. Though she was sure Ed didn’t much care what she was wearing or how her hair was done. It mattered to her, though. Ed took her to a very nice restaurant, and Kaki was glad she had chosen to wear a dress today. They talked and laughed, and Kaki had far too much wine. So did Ed, but Ed certainly didn’t get drunk as fast as his tiny girlfriend - for one, he was larger. Not to mention he had toughness and recovery - he had to drink a lot before he felt it. Kaki had no such abilities, and she was very small. So after about two glasses of wine she was already getting there. It wasn’t like Ed minded - rather, Kaki got funny when she was drunk. As a matter of fact, it was a very drunken Kaki that asked him out on a date in the first place. After food Ed took her for a nice walk. They were downtown already, and it was surprisingly nice out for mid-February - the phrase 'February Freeze’ existed for a reason. Kaki stumbled around a little, but she wasn’t too intoxicated that Ed was much concerned. She was just talking a lot - a whole lot. Not to mention every third sentence was “by the way I love you.” “Wow the river,” Kaki commented as they crossed the Broadway bridge, looking out on it. Most of the bridge beside it was gone now - Kaki wasn’t going to necessarily deny any involvement - but it was still a nice view across the river. Kaki paused, a grin on her face. She pointed to the middle of the bridge, looking over at Ed. “Hey, remember that?” She asked him. There was still a hit of concrete missing from the whole cleaver thing. Ed couldn’t help it - he started laughing a little. “Crunch,” he remembered, the troll he and Kaki managed to take down single handedly what would have been two or three years ago now. Ed had a little bit of a different connotation to the Broadway bridge, though, and he was thinking about it now. Related to Crunch, really, considering that was the troll that killed him. Ed looked over the other side, towards the river.

’“Why don’t I just jump then?!”’

Jirou let out a small sigh. He didn’t really want to, what with all he had been through the last little bit, but it was time for his daily training with Kaki. Well, today it was plus Ed, because they were doing some hand to hand combat instead of magic, and that made Jirou even less enthusiastic. He was exhausted, and didn’t really feel like swinging a staff around. But he knew Kaki would be upset if he didn’t make it, especially since she was actually in the city about this time, instead of off somewhere with Ed, doing what they just summed up to ‘wardens stuff’ lately. Jirou eventually got up off the couch, standing and stretching out. He let out a small, unhappy grunt before wandering to the door, grabbing his staff and adjusting his glasses before he headed out. He wondered how many people looked at him oddly for carrying a quarter staff around. He figured in the right neighbourhoods no one, since his cousin Kaki carried around three swords like it wasn’t a problem. In this neighbourhood, however, some people looked at him a little funny. Jirou stood in front of Kaki’s apartment - well, it was more like his apartment, considering how long she spent at Eds place, Kaki just paid for it - staff in hand, tolerating the weird looks from strangers. He was patient, for the most part, as the longer he spent here the longer he had until he had to start training. Jirou barely heard his name being called the first time. But the second time he definitely heard it. And it wasn’t Kaki Yukimura.

“Ji!” His old nickname, from home, that no one really called him here, save for sometimes Ed and Kaki, but even they usually called him by his full name. Which he was okay with - Jirou hated that nickname, and probably only because it was given to him by- “Shinichi,” Jirou greeted, turning his head towards his brother, who was coming up on his side. “What in the hell?” He wondered, easily switching back into their native Japanese. “I know right! I thought I’d surprise you. Mom and dad were wondering how you were doing, and they couldn’t come on their own, obviously, and hey I’ve been meaning to see for myself how the training of the great Kaki Yukimura had been paying off!” Shinichi greeted, also in Japanese. Jirou held in an audible sigh, deciding it wasn’t the time to hurt Shinichi’s feelings. Jirou did love his brother, and they did get along sometimes. Most of the time, though, Jirou resented him. Shinichi the prodigy. Shinichi who was good without trying, and had always out shined Jirou at every step of their lives. Shinichi, who everyone was expecting to become Kaki’s apprentice in the first place. Shinichi, who patted his brother on the back when he won, saying ‘I can’t believe you did it! I’m happy for you.’ Jirou knew those words were sincere - Shinichi was happy for Jirou that day. But still, 'I can’t believe you did it!’ Then again, at the time, neither could Jirou. “Well I’m about to head to training so-” Jirou started, about to say 'so we can talk about it later,’ but Shinichi cut him off. “Perfect! I’ll tag along. I really want to see Kaki again anyway,” he said. Jirou held in another sigh. He was about to say something, when an old car pulled up, and Kaki climbed out. “Shinichi Yukimura?!” She called out almost instantly, realizing Jirou’s brother was standing beside him. Oh excellent. Now it was going to be a huge fiasco. “Kaki! Hey!” Shinichi greeted, a grin on his face. “I came for a quick visit,” he explained without being asked, as Kaki rounded the vehicle to come join the two. “I noticed,” Kaki said, speaking in English despite Shinichi’s Japanese, a small grin on her face and shaking her head a bit. “I heard Jirou was just about to go for training. Mind if I come along? I wouldn’t mind a little action,” Shinichi asked, not getting the whole English hint just yet. Jirou hoped he would eventually. “I mean I guess. It may be a bit boring. Unless you want to toss Ed around a bit. I do not do any of the fighting. It is hand to hand training today, that is Ed’s field,” Kaki explained. Good. Shinichi might be discouraged from coming along. “Sounds fun-” Shinichi began, but Kaki interrupted him. “English, Shinichi, English.” “Okay, okay,” Shinichi swapped, looking as if he had to think about his words now. “Sounds fun,” he repeated, in English, “really I would love to spend time with you and Jirou.” He slung his arm around Jirou’s shoulders, pulling him into a half hug. Okay, on some level, Jirou was happy to see him. If it was any other day, he would probably greet him brightly. But he was already having a bad day, and Shinichi with his boisterous personality tended to make it a little worse. “Alright then, come on,” Kaki said, motioning towards her car, heading to the drivers seat. Jirou and Shinichi both went to the passengers seat, and Shinichi looked at his brother almost in shock. Jirou realized that Shinichi always rode in the front, he was just so used to being without him… Without a word, Jirou moved to the back. He didn’t see it, but there was an interesting look that flashed across Kaki’s face - particularly, she was interested in the two brothers. Jirou leaned his head against the seat, this time he did let out an audible sigh. Today was going to be a long day.

“Jeez, what took you guys so long?” Ed was already at the dojo when they arrived, and Kaki greeted him with a quick kiss on the cheek. “Well there was a… Bump in the road, I guess you could say,” Kaki explained, looking towards Shinichi. “Ed, this is Jirou’s brother. Shinichi,” Kaki explained, and Shinichi held out his hand. Ed took it and gave it a shake, a small grin on his face. “Shinichi hey? Neat,” Ed started, “names Ed. K Danvers. Greek Jesus.” Jirou remembered that was exactly how Ed had greeted Jirou. The whole 'Greek Jesus’ business. It was confusing at the time, but now it was just funny, seeing Shinichi’s confused face. “Son of Poseidon, God of the sea. Died, came back to life. Long story,” Ed gave the short version, waving his hand a bit. Shinichi looked even more confused at that, and it made Jirou want to laugh. Despite their differences at first, Jirou really did grow to like Ed. Ed was brash, like Shinichi, loud, like Shinichi, and liked to poke fun… Like Shinichi. The difference between Ed and Shinichi, was Ed knew when it was appropriate to poke fun. It was when Jirou was running some errands and ended up at the morgue that he really learned to like Ed. Ed was a mortician of all things, apparently working towards a doctorate now, but after Jirou learned a bit about Ed, he discovered how appropriate it was. Ed was speaking with a woman when Jirou arrived, and the way he was talking Jirou could have mistaken him for someone else if he wasn’t so recognizable. Usually Ed was harsh, loud, but he spoke to this woman quietly and gently. It was weird. Jirou asked him about it later. “Not one joke,” Jirou said, “not one wisecrack.” “That woman lost her son, Jirou. Always a time and a place.” Jirou never looked at Ed the same way again. That was the day Jirou understood that Ed made fun of Jirou because he liked him, and Ed himself was a pretty stand up guy. “Anyway what are you doin’ here kid?” Ed asked Shinichi, changing the subject. “I am not a kid,” Shinichi started, a frown on his face. “I am almost nineteen you know.” “Sure, kid,” Ed answered without missing a beat. Shinichi sighed, and moved on to his question. “I am here visiting Ji for a few days,” Shinichi explained. “And I wanted to come see how his training was like.” “Ah great. Kaki you’re not going to pit them both against me are you?” Ed asked, turning towards the tiny wizard, who was already on her way into the dojo. “Depends,” she answered, though there was nothing more than that. Ed knew the answer to that was definitely 'yes’, then, and he had probably given her the idea. Ed followed Kaki into the dojo, and Shinichi trotted after him, with Jirou following in the rear, a near permanent frown etched into his face. “What’s up Jirou?” Ed had stopped at the door, and was looking at Jirou with curiosity on his face. “Nothing,” Jirou basically muttered through gritted teeth. He didn’t want anyone to know how annoyed he was that his brother had decided to spontaneously show up. And join him for training no less. It was his brother - wasn’t Jirou supposed to be happy? But he wasn’t. These past few months in Canada without Shinichi had been bliss for Jirou. No one to order him around. No one to silence him and remind him no one was listening. No one to out shine him. No one to be better at every step of the way. Ed shrugged. He knew Jirou wasn’t being honest, but he wasn’t going to press him. Not right now anyway. They could talk later. “Okay,” said Kaki from the other side of the dojo. She lobbed a staff across the room towards Shinichi, and he caught it expertly. Next she tossed one at Ed, and Ed fumbled, but managed to catch it. Jirou had his own staff, one he and Kaki worked on together. A wooden staff with bits of iron on either end, and silver inlaid in the rest of it. Lots of catches to be satisfied. “Okay I like what Ed suggested earlier. Shinichi and Jirou versus Ed,” Kaki said, moving towards a wall so she could do her usual partial meditation, partial observation. She liked leaving Ed to these things. Kaki worked with swords, not staffs, and besides, if Ed got hit he wouldn’t feel it. Not to mention, Ed didn’t play fair. Kaki did. Enemies didn’t play fair either, and she wanted Jirou to learn that. “Ah man,” Ed almost whined, but soon got himself into a battle stance. “Hey, it will be good practice for Jirou. Working with a team,” Kaki pointed out. Jirou had to admit, Kaki had a good point. Sure, he was working with the new Spook Squad now, but he wasn’t exactly the best team player. “Okay, Shinichi, I have a-” Jirou was cut short, when Shinichi jumped forward without thinking. Jirou rolled his eyes. Idiot. It was like the fight with Kaki all over again. Jirou decided to follow Shinichi’s lead, going for Ed right after his brother. Shinichi managed to land a hit on Eds side, but Ed didn’t seem to notice. “Nice try, though,” Ed said, a grin on his face, before using his staff to sweep Shinichi’s legs from under him. Idiot. Jirou was more careful, watching Ed’s movements. He went in for a strike, but Ed blocked it easily, and tried the same trick on Jirou. Jirou knew better than that. He managed to block in time and used the movement to try and disarm Ed. However, Ed also knew better than that. They had been sparing for a while, and generally knew each other’s tricks. Jirou went into for another attack, except Shinichi tried to take advantage of the situation but going for Ed too. Ed used one half of the staff to block Jirou, and the other half to block Shinichi. “You have to start thinking!” Jirou nearly shouted, getting a little angry with Shinichi’s impulsive moves. “Just follow my lead!” Shinichi told Jirou. Jirou let out an angry, loud sigh. Fine. If Shinichi got knocked on his ass again, Jirou wouldn’t care. Ed seemed amused by the whole situation, the two brothers like night and day. Jirou went in for another attack, but his brother cut him off again, and it wasn’t Ed to knock Shinichi over this time. Instead, Jirou purposefully missed Ed, and hit Shinichi in the stomach with the lower half of his staff. Shinichi let out a small grunt, and wheezing, and he went down. “You have to start listening to me!” Jirou shouted at him, all of his frustrations of the day coming out all at once. “I have good ideas too! You just have to start listening!!” Jirou dropped his staff to the ground and marched away. “Ji…” Shinichi half wheezed from the ground, doing his best to stand up. “My name is Jirou,” Jirou grumbled, seemingly to himself, but everyone in the room had heard it. Kaki, who had been observing passively, was now moving to stand up and stop Jirou, who had reached the door and was marching out. Ed stopped her, though, having been following Jirou from the start. “It’s okay - I’ll handle this one,” Ed told her, dropping his staff before heading out the door after Jirou. Kaki shrugged - she wouldn’t say no to that. He seemed to know what to say better than her anyway.

“Jirou! Wait up!” Jirou could hear Ed calling behind him, but he didn’t stop. He was so frustrated! Shinichi was so irritating, especially on a day like today, where all Jirou wanted to do was sleep. “Jirou,” Ed’s voice came from beside him this time. He caught up. Jirou didn’t do anything to acknowledge him, just kept moving forward with his head down. “Hey so that was a pretty good hit on Shinichi. He didn’t even know what hit him,” Ed commented. Jirou said nothing, just kept walking. “Hey kid, what’s the problem?” Ed asked. Maybe he shouldn’t have taken on this task. It wasn’t going as well as he thought. “I am not a kid,” Jirou grumbled, thinking Ed wouldn’t hear him. Ed let out a small chuckle. “Yeah you are. Sixteen? You’re a kid. Especially to someone like me. Hell, Kaki’s still a kid to a lot of people. It’s all about perspective,” Ed told Jirou. Ed got a small glare from the young apprentice, but hey, it was some progress. Ed sighed a little, not exactly sure what to say to make Jirou feel better. “You know,” he decided eventually, “if you never talk about your problems they don’t get better. Trust me. I know.” “It does not matter,” Jirou said quietly, “no one ever listened before. Nothing will get better now.” “Hey kid,” started Ed, “I’m listening,” he said, ruffling Jirou’s hair a bit. “Do not do that,” Jirou told Ed, fixing his hair a bit, though it was clear he was starting to loosen up a bit. “I can’t help it. You and Kaki both, you’re so short and cute and tiny,” Ed commented. “No,” Jirou disagreed, “you are just tall.” “That’s what Kaki always says,” Ed laughed, shaking his head a little. “Say,” he changed the subject quickly, “how do you feel about some coffee?” He asked, spotting a coffee shop down the street. “I do not like coffee,” Jirou started, and Ed wondered if this plan failed too. “But I could go for some tea.” “Alright. Now we’re getting somewhere,” Ed commented, wandering into the coffee shop, Jirou following after him. Ed ended up getting black coffee, and Jirou got some black tea, and Jirou picked a spot for them to sit for a while. He wondered what Kaki and Shinichi were doing while they were away, but he wouldn’t be surprised if they were doing some magical stuff. Since Shinichi was a spirit Mage, it was easier for him to practice inside. “Okay, kid, what’s the big deal?” Ed wondered. He could guess - Shinichi was the problem. But he wanted to know the specifics. He could guess those too, but he wanted to hear from Jirou exactly what the problem was anyway. Jirou looked for a way to phrase what he wanted to say. Not many people asked him what was wrong, what was bothering him. He wasn’t used to explaining it to anyone. “I just…” Jirou started, searching for words. “I hate him so much!” He ended up saying, though he immediately regretted it. “I mean I do not hate him I just… I mean it is… This is hard to explain.” “Okay, so start from the top. Why do ya say you hate him?” Ed asked. “He is so much better than I am. Shinichi the prodigy. Shinichi the great, the personable, the best. He does everything right, all the time. He has always been better. He never listens to me, and I mean, I guess why should he? He knows better,” Jirou explained. He hadn’t spoken this much in a while, and he’s never spoken this much about Shinichi. “He is louder than me, always has been. People listen to Shinichi Yukimura. People do not care for his younger brother, his shadow.” Ed listened intently, beginning to understand a little more about Jirou than he had ever understood before. The poor kid went through a lot, and never told anyone. “Do you want to know the shock when it was me and not Shinichi that Kaki chose to be her apprentice? He was happy for me, though. He said I needed it more anyway. My parents, I was sure they tried to sway Kaki. Why would they not? I was always the second choice,” Jirou just kept going, letting it all come out. “I was always so quiet about it. I never told Shinichi how I felt about him, about everything. I mean, do not misunderstand. He is still my brother, and I do still love him. I just…” “The word you’re looking for is 'resentment’,” Ed finally pitched in, taking a sip of his coffee. “Yes. I resent him. Coming her to Canada with Kaki, being my own person… People look at me now; people listen. They do not see the shadow of Shinichi - instead they see Jirou. It has been freeing, being allowed to be my own. But now he is here, being himself, and I am just so… Angry!” Jirou made a face at that, clenching his teeth a bit. “You weren’t quite ready to walk out of the shadow yet,” Ed realized, leaning back. He took a moment, and there was silence for a while. “How 'bout now?” Ed asked, giving Jirou a look. “No way, I especially cannot face him now. I attacked him!” Jirou shook his head, looking terrified. Jirou had always been a coward, and this was hard to think of doing. “Look, kid,” Ed started, leaning forward again. “You remember losing teeth? It was scary at first, the loose tooth. What if it hurts? And then you lose it, and it’s not as bad as you thought?” Jirou didn’t seem to understand for a moment, but Ed kept going. “I know you’re scared. Hell, I would be too, if I were you. I don’t have any siblings so I can’t offer you help there. But you gotta pull that tooth eventually. Otherwise it’s just gonna rot in there. If you never face your brother properly, you’re never gonna be able to get out from under that shadow, even if you think you have.” Jirou took in Eds words, looking thoughtful. For such a crass person, Ed really could be wise and compassionate, couldn’t he? Jirou let out a small sigh. “Okay,” he agreed eventually. “Great,” Ed answered. “We’ll finish our drinks then head back. I’ll grab something for Kaki though, before we leave.”

Ed and Jirou had some easier, lighter conversation after that, Ed returning to his crass and annoying self. Yes, Ed really did remind Jirou of Shinichi. There were a few things, though, that made Jirou less resentful towards Ed. The biggest being that Ed Danvers actually listened to Jirou, something Jirou didn’t realized until fairly recently. And Jirou did crave being listened to. No one much ever did, his brother, his parents, his friends, the few he had. He was glad for Ed and Kaki. Ed picked something random off the menu for Kaki, as he usually did when he grabbed her coffee. All of her coffee orders were far too intricate, so he picked something random and Kaki was either pleasantly surprised or threatened him with sleeping on the couch. Jirou decided to grab something for his brother too, and Jirou actually knew what Shinichi would like. The trek back was quiet, with Jirou feeling his anxiety rising a bit. He didn’t really want to talk to Shinichi, but Ed was right - he would have to eventually, whether he wanted to or not. Jirou paused outside the door to the dojo, gritting his teeth a bit. “Come on kid don’t make me open the door,” Ed told Jirou, and Jirou shot him a small, joking glare before doing it himself. He was right about now Kaki and Shinichi were keeping themselves busy - Ed and Jirou walked in on a fight. Well, the tail end of one. Shinichi had just fallen over, it looked like. “Hey, you lasted a whole ten seconds that time,” Kaki commented, a small grin on her face. “You ain’t gonna beat Kaki, kid, if you’re thinking about trying again,” Ed commented from the door. Kaki turned her head, a smile appearing on her face. “Ed! Jirou! You are back,” Kaki commented, trotting towards the door now. Shinichi decided to take the opportunity to strike, but Kaki simply rolled her eyes, turning and rebounding Shinichi’s magic on him, causing him to fall again. “If you are planning to take advantage of your enemy while they are not looking, you should be quieter,” she told him, a grin on her face. Ed turned to Jirou, grinning himself. “That’s my Kaki,” he said, almost proudly. Kaki turned back to Ed, and Ed handed her the coffee he got for her. “Oh dear,” Kaki sighed, taking it and taking a careful sip. “Huh,” she began, “no couch for you tonight, Ed.” With that Ed made a fist, and held it in front of him, looking happy with himself. Jirou found himself rolling his eyes a bit. He then looked towards Shinichi, who was standing from the defeat. Jirou felt the frown form on his face, sad and scared. But he did manage to walk towards his brother, and he held out the drink he got for him. “Here,” he said, still frowning a bit. Shinichi, who had looked guilty for a while, now smiled. “Thanks, Ji,” he said, taking it from him. Jirou felt the anger return, but he managed to push it back down. What was it Ed always said? Keep a cool head? Yeah that was it. “Shinichi,” Jirou started, “please do not call me that. I hate that nickname. My name is Jirou.” Shinichi looked a little shocked at that. “Really? I always thought… But okay. Jirou,” Shinichi agreed, easily deciding not to argue. “I am sorry I lost my temper with you. I have been away for so long and I forgot… Look you can be a little…. Insufferable,” Jirou told his brother, “and loud, and brash, and annoying.” He continued, and the guilty look had returned to Shinichi’s face. “And friendly,” Jirou added quietly, “and proud and strong.” Shinichi looked surprised, but he smiled. “I am sorry too, Ji… Rou. I guess there are a lot of things I never realized,” Shinichi apologized, and it was Jirou’s turn to look a bit shocked. Shinichi never apologized. Jirou smiled, and nodded. “Okay, we are all made up?” It was Kaki’s voice. Kaki and Ed, it appeared, had been listening to them carefully. Jirou turned towards them and nodded. Then a stick came flying at his head. No, not a stick. His staff. Of course. Kaki wasn’t done with training. She tossed one at Shinichi, too, and Ed had grabbed the one he dropped earlier. “Okay we will try this again,” Kaki said, going towards her usual spot. “Shinichi and Jirou versus Ed. This time try to get along.” “Okay Jirou - what is the plan?” Shinichi asked, and Jirou felt a rush of… Something. Appreciation, he realized. He felt good, all of a sudden. “Okay,” Jirou answered, then he got an idea. “Ed’s a tall guy, and we’re small guys. We should be able to topple him pretty effectively if we each aim for a side and a half,” Jirou started, and he had switched languages, into one he knew Ed didn’t know. His native tongue. “Okay. I’ll take the left,” Shinichi followed Jirou’s lead, speaking Japanese, “and I’m taller. So top half.” Jirou nodded. “No time for chatting in battle! Fight!” Kaki shouted from her spot, and the two brothers jumped for Ed. Ed looked ready to dodge out of the way, but he wasn’t expecting two coordinated opponents, and Shinichi jumped a bit, managing to connect a blow into Ed’s upper left shoulder. Meanwhile, Jirou ducked, going for Ed’s right leg. He hit with all his might, then quickly got out of the way when he realized his plan would work, and Ed came toppling down. Ed looked absolutely shocked by that one. Then he started laughing. “Well done Jirou Yukimura - you’ve never actually beaten me before,” Ed commented. Shinichi looked over at Jirou, surprised. “Really? Your skill with a staff is almost unmatched,” Shinichi commented, switching back to English now. A compliment. Jirou was confused, but he would appreciate it. “Ed is really good at dodging,” Jirou explained. “Speakin’ of that,” Ed butted in, now standing, “DODGE!” He shouted, swinging his staff towards Jirou. Jirou reacted quickly, just managing to block Ed’s attack. So he came in with another one, and Jirou managed to block that one too. Ed really liked to bullrush people, didn’t he? Eventually Ed managed to overtake Jirou, when Jirou missed and attack and Ed got him in the shoulder. “Okay, okay, from the top please,” came Kaki’s voice, and the three got ready for another match. What Jirou was expecting to be a bland and painful sparing sessions turned into lots of fun but the end of it. Ed won a lot, but Shinichi and Jirou managed to as well, doing fairly well together after a fashion. And Shinichi started to listen. Jirou wasn’t sure why, or how, but he started to listen. Eventually, after about an hour and a half, Kaki put a stop to things. “Okay, okay, I would very much like an intact apprentice, cousin, and boyfriend by the end of today, so I think it is about time to wrap up,” she said. “Wait, one more fight,” Jirou said, “but…” He had started this without thinking, but it was something he felt he had to do. “But me versus Shinichi this time.” He had never won a fight against Shinichi, either, but he had never put his top effort into it, not to mention, Jirou had grown much stronger the last few months. “Okay,” Kaki agreed, giving a shrug. “Sounds fun.” Ed took that as a sign to walk away, giving more space to Jirou and Shinichi. He put the staff he was using away, and took a spot next to Kaki, sitting close to her. “Ready you two?” Kaki asked, looking between them. Jirou put himself in a good ready position, and Shinichi did the same. “Okay, fight!” Kaki called. Jirou knew exactly what Shinichi would do, and wow, was he ever right. Shinichi came in for an attack without thinking, and Jirou dodged it like it was nothing. Still brash, he noticed. He could use that, though. Jirou was very good at being patient, at listening and waiting for his opportunity. Shinichi came in for another attack, going for Jirou’s side. Jirou put his staff in the way, knowing he would be on dodging duty for a while until he got a good opportunity. He was suddenly glad for Ed’s teaching methods. The whole 'DODGE!’ Thing. It did play to Jirou’s strengths, oddly enough. Jirou blocked another attack, using this one to flick his staff at his brother a bit, poking him in the upper thigh with the end of it. Shinichi went in for another, and Jirou did the same thing. It went like that until Jirou saw his opportunity, Shinichi coming in for a higher attack. Jirou was short than his brother, by two inches, so when Shinichi went to hit Jirou in the upper shoulder, he left some of his torso exposed. Jirou used that, ducking under Shinichi’s attack and just going for it, swinging his staff into Shinichi’s side. It was hard enough to make Shinichi stumble, and Jirou used that to trip him over. Jirou let out a breath he had been holding in. He won. He beat Shinichi Yukimura. For once in his life, Jirou was better. He heard clapping from Ed, and he looked over to see the two smiling, looking proud. “Well done Jirou!” Kaki cheered a bit, standing to come over to really cheer him. Jirou offered his hand to his brother, and Shinichi grinned a bit at Jirou, taking it to help himself up. “You’ve really grown, little brother,” Shinichi commented. And Jirou felt something within him. It was a nice feeling, like a warm light in his chest. He was stepping out of the shadow. He could finally feel the sun.