Transparency isn't about entertaining suspicion, it's about building trust. It's not about limiting privacy, it's about cultivating unity. We receive a good bit of pushback from readers whenever we urge couples to live with complete transparency in their marriages. The objections usually center around protecting "personal privacy", or couples say "my spouse should trust me without having to see my phone, etc". We genuinely and *strongly* disagree. Mainly because both objections assume that you're immune to temptation, sin, and making mistakes. Here's a personal example. In our own marriage, we have something we call the "phone drop test". The concept is simple. At any moment, Selena could ask me to drop my phone on the table, unlocked, and give her unbridled access to everything on it. Chat messages, social media accounts, emails, text messages, browser history. Everything. I'm comfortable with this now, but there was a time early in our marriage when I wouldn't have been. It would have made me very nervous. Is my privacy violated in the above example? I think that's the wrong question to ask. The better question is, "do I have anything to hide, and if so, why?" Of course, I'd hate for Selena to stumble across *secret* birthday plans I have for her, but honestly, everything else is fair game because SHE'S MY WIFE. The thing is, she almost never asks me to see my phone (I can't remember the last time), but she can anytime and I'd be fine with it. Why? Because we've spent years building trust through truth and transparency. And, if she does find something questionable, what better person to call me out in my sin than my wife—who I know loves me and wants my very best? Time to get real. Sorry in advance. Men and women who object to full transparency almost always (99.999% of the time) have something they're hiding from their spouse. It's just true. Friends, pursue truth, trust, and transparency in your marriage! It's what it takes to live as the ONE flesh you are (Mark 10:8). It's not easy at first, but the fruit of your labor is well worth it and your marriage will be stronger for it. Stay fierce, Ryan #fiercemarriage #40prayers #31daypursuit #twoasoned https://www.instagram.com/p/BsyWr0PAzkG/?igshid=76kbj9p2j4lg
