#twloha internship

So, to be completely honest, I have been delaying writing this. My internship ended on December 13th, the term has been over for more than two weeks. I don't want to admit that this chapter of my life has come to an end, but it has. This, however, is a product of celebration and not of finality.

First of all, I want to genuinely thank every single person who donated money to help me get to Florida. Because of you, I was able to move to Melbourne for four months and experience the best time of my life. I learned, I laughed, I grew. I pushed myself and proved that I can do whatever I put my mind to. Added bonuses included making wonderful, unforgettable friends and truly helping others around the world.

Saying goodbye was harder than I ever thought it would be. I knew it would be difficult, but nothing felt more bittersweet than the five of us interns sobbing outside after a baby shower, holding each other and taking deep breaths and preparing ourselves for the journey ahead.

We came from all over. Arizona, Australia, Rhode Island, Kansas, Massachusetts. All of us with different stories, with different skills, and different paths. Together, we made a home. We made a community of love and acceptance and laughter. We laughed together, and we cried together.

Little did I know it, but the moment I stepped foot in the intern house, it was no longer me. It was us. Perhaps these lines are a bit cheesy, but I cannot possibly describe the relationship we had in any other way. This is the best I can do to giving it justice.

Soon, I realized that there was no way I was going to be able to accurately describe my experience with TWLOHA to anyone. Ever. I can tell you the best I can, and you can read about specific events throughout my blog, but there has been so much to contribute to how amazing this term was.

I cannot imagine an internship experience being better than the one I have. I graduated with a film degree and I ended up at a non profit. Why? Because I'm passionate about mental health awareness. The whole reason I want to write is because I want to open minds and erase the stigma of asking for help. It is okay to not be okay. It is okay to tell someone you are not okay. And it is okay to seek professional help. We worked full time and spent a great deal of time responding to supporters who needed help. We were able to give hope to people that had considered themselves hopeless. Through words, we saw change, we saw hope, and we were given the privilege to speak directly with the TWLOHA community. We were the voice of the organization as a whole.

The entire staff made us feel needed, wanted, and loved. They included us in making decisions on merchandise, they took us under their wing, and they greeted us with a smile every day. Never have I been in such a loving work environment. Often times, we interns would emphasize that we had the best job ever and we weren't even getting paid!

The staff put their all in making our goodbyes special and personable. They have become my friends. I will always remember them and cherish them, and it is my hope that I see them again.

A lot of people are asking me: so, what now? If I have to be honest, the answer is simply that I have no idea what lies ahead for me. I had plans to go to LA, to try and make it as a screenwriter for television, but you know what? It is losing its appeal. I am being drawn toward non profit work now, in directly making a difference in the lives of those around me. I will write on the side, and work on getting published. I have two drafts of novels in my repertoire (thank you, NaNoWriMo), and I have so much to learn. I will be job hunting in the next couple of days. No, I do not have any plans to visit Arizona or California yet, although I would like to. My next steps are settling into Texas and making a life for myself here.

I am starting over again, and I am a bit scared. But you know what? I can do this. With the experience, encouragement, and love I have gained from working with To Write Love On Her Arms, I am all set. To my fellow interns: I love you, I miss you, and you are some of the best friends I could have ever asked for. To the staff: thank you for allowing me into the TWLOHA family. I will always keep writing.

This will be my last formal entry in this blog, with the exception of notes or pictures. To Melbourne, to my intern friends, to the staff: I'll see you soon.

With Hope,

It's obvious that I haven't updated in more than a month. With two weeks left, my internship is nearly over. It's amazing how fast time goes by, and it just reminds me to cherish every moment that I am here.

There have been a couple of reasons as to why I have not contributed to my blog, and I will share them with you. Late October, my uncle in California got really sick and admitted to the hospital, and there was even a point where his heart stopped for seven minutes. He is still in the hospital today, albeit much better than he was at the beginning, but we had to mentally prepare ourselves as a family. It was increasingly difficult because my uncle and grandparents live in California, my sister in Arizona, my parents in Texas, while I am in Florida. Hearing all of this go down so quickly over phone was a bit much to handle, and there were times where I definitely was not okay. However, I couldn't ask for a better support system here. My housemates, my intern director, everyone asked how I was and checked up on me, and they listened when I needed to talk. For that, I am eternally grateful.

On November 1st, we surprised my Mom for her birthday on the third, and Kelli and I flew to Texas on a Friday just so we could spend the weekend with her. She was totally caught off guard and we all spent the weekend together. It was bittersweet, considering the circumstances with my uncle, but we needed to be together to have the conversations that we had. If there is one thing I know for sure, it is that family is always there for me, and I am there for them. Even when Kelli and I went back to our respective states and Mom went to California to be there with my grandparents and my uncle, I felt the sense of unity and love from across the country.

Things got a bit worse before they got better, and my uncle is stable now. We need all the prayers we can get.

If you haven’t seen my humongous album on Facebook, we were able to go to Disney World on the 16th of November, and that was amazing! We hit all four parks in fourteen hours, and the highlights were definitely the Mountain rides in Magic Kingdom (Space, Splash, Big Thunder), and meeting Merida! Merida is my favorite Disney Princess, and Brave always reminds me so much of my mom and I since we first saw it together in Theatres. We were able to stay to see the electric parade as well as the fireworks over Cinderella’s castle, and it was absolutely stunning. Spending the day with these girls at the most magical place on Earth was well worth it, and I am so glad I had this opportunity.

Another reason I haven’t updated is because today marks the last day of November, and November, if you didn’t know, is National Novel Writing Month. That has been eating up most of my spare time as I attempted to write 50,000 words in a single month. I am writing to you today, on the 30th of November, to let you know that I made it to 50,003 words and have officially completed NaNoWriMo for the second year in a row. One of my housemates and good friends, Brandi, joined in with me this November, and having a buddy to write with is so key to motivation. The two of us have been playing Dance Central every day for exercise, and that has been great for both of us. You would be surprised at how much of a work out that is! With the exception of this last week, of course, because I just so happened to catch a terrible cold on Monday that knocked me out for the week.

Among the constant sleeping and resting in bed, I was able to participate in my first ever Thanksgiving away from home, and I couldn’t ask to have spent it with better people. My roommate and good friend, Andrea, had her family over while Jess (another housemate and good friend) had a guest as well. That made nine of us, and it was our Aussie housemate and good friend, Jessica, who experienced her very first American Thanksgiving. We had so much food and so much laughter. I had to take two naps throughout the day to get through it, but I was grateful that I could eat with everyone and watch the parade and even some football!

Thankfully, I am feeling much better, and the girls and I are hit with the realization that we are leaving soon. We are dreading saying goodbye to each other, saying goodbye to staff, and saying goodbye to Florida. You can bet that we will make these last couple of weeks count.

Wow! What a whirlwind couple of weeks it has been! Every week seems to go by faster and faster. I am soaking up every moment here. I totally forgot to let everyone know I updated this thing a couple of weeks ago. Oops!

If you haven't heard, I had my first blog published to the TWLOHA website. I have received a GREAT deal of positive feedback. Better yet, people with similar experiences to mine have found hope in it. I am so overwhelmed (in a good way) at the responses I have received with TWLOHA. This is the first opportunity I have had to show a piece of my writing, a piece of me, to this big of an audience. And, if you go to the TWLOHA website now, you will see, at the top of the page in the slideshow:

Isn't that a neat graphic? That's me! Had to show you guys .You can read the blog by clicking on the picture, I think? If not, you can access it here. Pretty cool, huh? This is an incredibly surreal experience for me, but it's awesome. I could not ask to be in a better place.

Last weekend, the girls and I went to go see Matt Nathanson and Joshua Radin in concert at the House of Blues in Downtown Disney; both of them were SO excellent! We were also blessed with three free tickets! And I totally got to say I was on Matt Nathanson's guest list, even though it was just to pick up the tickets and he has no idea who I am. He still put on a hell of a show!

Life at The Burrow (our house) is good. My housemates are quickly becoming very good friends of mine. They cheer me up when I am sad, stressed, or not feeling well. Together, we laugh and have fun together, and I am learning a different form of healthy community. I don't know what I'd do without these girls. They are a big part of my experience here, and they help make it what it is. We do everything together, but I would prefer it no other way.

In other news, my staff bio went up today on the TWLOHA Tumblr! Check it out here!

Tomorrow after work, the girls and I will be seeing TAKING BACK SUNDAY (my favorite band, and my fourth time seeing them in concert) during a free show they're playing in downtown Melbourne! Sadly, Adam Lazzara will not be at the show because his wife had a baby prematurely, but the frontman from Underoath will be taking his place! While I'll miss Adam, I am excited to see Spencer Chamberlain and the rest of TBS!

I don't!

I suck at updating this, don't I?

I'll start with talking about something that I forgot to talk about in my last post, which was Brandi and me going to the PostSecret event somewhere around a month ago...Yes, I know I'm obscenely late. But I need to record it here before I forget to. And better late than never, right?

We made about a two hour trip to Tampa to go see Frank Warren and his PostSecret presentation. This was my third time seeing it and Brandi's first, but it was still a special moment. I remembered much of it, but there was so much more that I learned. The coolest part was definitely when Frank Warren mentioned To Write Love on Her Arms, and Brandi and I looked at each other from the audience and said, "That's us!"

I have been following PostSecret for years, and I took this opportunity to buy another one of the books and have it signed by Frank Warren. The first time I went to a PostSecret event during my freshman year of college was a turning point for me. I distinctly remember it being a good part of the reason that I decided to face my own secrets and seek help. The second even that I went to in my junior year, I gathered the courage to tell my own secret in a room full of strangers at a microphone. This time, I was able to meet Frank Warren, and tell him face to face what impact he had on my life. We thanked each other, he shook my hand, and he signed my book. When I left, he yelled out after me, "The journey continues!"

And so it does.

Last weekend, my roommate, Andrea, and I went to a Saves the Day show in Orlando, and that was awesome. They actually responded to quite a few of my tweets, which was neat! Andrea made me a playlist of their set list so I would be prepared, and I knew most of the songs they played because of it. Downtown Orlando is gorgeous at night, that's for sure. We came home late but still so pumped.

The next day, the five of us took a trip to the Ponce Inlet lighthouse. That was so incredibly beautiful! We all climbed 203 steps to the top, and wow, that hurt! The scene was worth it, though. I will post pictures shortly after this post for all of you to see. The next day, we had our Sunday grocery store trip, and I watched football for most of the day. We ended up going to the beach that night - which was GORGEOUS - staring at the stars and talking. All of us still can't believe we are here. It's all so surreal.

This week was pretty good. A few different circumstances made this week particular heavy for, well, all of us interns. But we made it through together. Work is going fantastically, as usual. Last night, I took a trip to Barnes & Noble with Brandi, and I forgot how much I love that place at night. After a stressful week, it was weirdly calming.

The girls are in Orlando today, but I stayed back to take a day to myself. I am so blessed to live with people who understand my limitations and support my decisions for self-care. Sorry for taking so long to update, I'll try to write more soon!

I know I've been terrible at communication lately, and know that I love and miss all of you very much. It is healthier for me that I rest when I am home from work and find free time to do so. I promise when the term ends that I will be better. I know I owe some of you letters and phone calls, and they will come before 2014, I promise! Know that I am happy, that I care, and that I am being well taken care of.