#twinkz

^ thats arte, she sometimes looks a bit different hence all the names but "blonde sibling" is the one consistency ^_^ anyways i hope you've been having a good day

1 for jeremy fitzgerald . i love him. he deserved so much better its not fair.

secondly, i'm contacting you with the sole purpose of asking you to remove all mention of lawrence - aka, my trauma - from your blog. every single one you can find. that includes your memory page. i did not consent to you advertising the worst thing to ever happen to me, and if i did, i now retract that consent.

you have a lot of fucking nerve. i've thought this since you admitted to me that you read out a poem about MY TRAUMA to a group of people i did not know. i think you're way too handsy with something you actively made worse, and i think you're too willing to pretend you're a good person in all of it.

you ruined my life. you ruined it more than lawrence did by encouraging him to stay around me and encouraged my delusions by telling all your fucked up "walk-in system" shit to a heavily traumatized 13 year old. you set me far, far back in recovery. i hate you. i hate you more than anyone else in the world, and more than i hate lawrence.

if you have any fucking respect for me, stop naming my abuser and stop telling the worst part of my life to anyone who's willing to "send you an off-anon ask".

do not contact me after i've sent you this ask. i will not take responsibility for what i say to you. i am already being as polite as i can to someone who ALLOWED a pedophile to ruin my fucking body and brain.

fuck you. i hope everyone you love dies and you are there to watch it. i hope you get hit by a car. i wish more death on you than i have ever wished on lawrence or anyone else involved these past few years. eat my shit.

Hm...

Nah.

I wish you all the best in life. Wherever it takes you, wherever you end up going. I hope you find kindness one day. I hope you find a hell of a lot better than you ever gave me. I hope you find the kindness I gave you, the kindness that might make you change your mind. Or maybe the kind that makes you think you’re right. 

It’s funny, yeah? How we all think we’re right, how we all think we didn’t do anything wrong. How we all think this is only about ourselves, and not the people around us, and how it doesn’t matter where we throw the knives if we’re yanking them out of ourselves.

I wish you the best in life. I wish that you find all that I tried to give you, that you never appreciated.

As for getting hit by a car? Been there, done that, broke six bones and laughed about it, ‘cause it was funny. Look at me, I got more titanium in me than a jet plane and my leg was like the East-West in rush hour with a six-car pileup. Seventy staples, seventeen screws, four plates, two rods. Fancy that.

I learned a lot from you, and I’d thank you for that if I thought it would do you any good other than another ego trip. I learned how to prioritize myself. I learned how to shake off trauma like it was nothing, because I found something to live for, and I might have missed it if you didn’t do your damndest to get five people killed. I learned how to be immune to guilt-trips and death threats and all the hatred in the world. I learned that I’m strong. That when the chips were down, when everyone but one person lied to me because they wanted a body count, I was brave, and I could still love this sorry world. I learned that maybe I didn’t want to die, because if I could survive what you did to me, what you did to all of us, I could take anything this world threw at me.

You can hate me with everything you’ve got. Go on, do it. Spend your life wallowing in the misery of knowing you fucked over the one person who wanted everyone out alive. Or spend it thinking I’m actually the worst, because I didn’t let you die. After all, if I did, you wouldn’t be here to hate me, now would you?

Like I care. I learned from you how to stop giving a damn about what some kid thinks of me.