#twingoals

I am a twin.  I am one of 12,000 twins born in the UK every year. Furthermore, I am a monozygotic (identical) twin.  This means my Ma and Pa played their respective parts in releasing a single egg (Zygote) and then fertilising it. They had been here with my Brother three years previously, simply going through the baby-making motions so far. Then an unexpected development. The fertilised egg split, lava-lamp style, into two...Pop.  Just like that my sister and I existed;  identical twins sharing the same genes.

Let me be clear;  I LOVE being a twin, most twins I know do. I love that people are fascinated by twinship and if I’m entirely honest, the attention that being a twin generates makes me feel nice. The mechanics of a twin relationship are complex: reassuring, claustrophobic, challenging and organic all at the same time.  What I share with my sister is something I’m very proud of and I     realise that I am very lucky.  Not just for being in the twin-club but also in that my sister is BRILLIANT.  That helps.

I might add that although my sister and I are close, we’ve never been too weird with it. Well, at least not live together, dress the same at 40 years old, weird.  We separated at university and moved out of our hometown to very different locations.  My sister in Cheltenham; myself in Norwich.  A safe, non-weird, 4 hours drive away.   

You might be wondering, based on this information, why I feel the need to write about this.  Well.  At the ripe old age of 31, something very peculiar happened.  My Husband and I became pregnant...with twins.  Now, this it turns out is pretty peculiar.  The chances of giving birth to identical twins is one in 250.  Identical twins are not hereditary and so there is no greater chance of having twins myself.  If you’re willing to do the maths, the chances of this event happening are pretty slim.  Overall, I feel like I may be in quite a privileged position with all of this twin experience.    

I do want to clarify that I’m in no way an expert.  I’m not a scientist or biologist; I certainly didn’t have any knowledge on the science, psychology and sociology of twins.  I knew nothing about parenting before I became one.  I’d go as far as to say I know less about it now.  I am absolutely not proclaiming that the things I have done or do are the right things… I just think it’s good and positive to share experience.  

I will also say here that I’m trying very hard not to play the twin card.  Child rearing is, at times, the absolute pits.  I achieved lows I didn’t know existed, and having two preemie-screamers contributed to that.  However, parents use every single ounce of energy they have to care for their children.  They work and work and try and try until they collapse at the end of the day, regardless of the number of children they care for.  Everyone is burning out, twins or no twins.  I just hope that comes across in my ramblings.  

Regardless of my not really knowing anything about anything, the romance of my position as twin and twin-rearer has captured my imagination since we realised we were having two.  I thought maybe, other people might be interested too.