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Emmett, alone in the middle of the forest:Â Can you hear the drums Fernando? I remember long ago another starry night like this. In the firelight, Fernando! You were humming to yourself and softly strumming your guitar.
Emmett (flinging himself to the ground for dramatic effect, knowing full well no one is watching): Fernandoooooo!
Meanwhile at the Cullen Residence
Bella: Where’s Emmett?
Everyone, in unison: It’s ABBA night.
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I was doing some research for my New Moon fanfic (Bella Goes to Therapy by TallQueen, you should check it out on AO3) and uh...
Bree and Jake are the same fuckin’ age???Â
Stephenie really said “Bree is baby and deserves to have a cutesy vampire childhood w/the Cullens but Jacob Black is a Grown Ass Adult and he is Very Sexy” like?? Disgusting?
The racism is just...through the roof on this bitch.
Just another incorrect Twilight quote from Emmett Cullen.
The concept of vampire hearing in Twilight lore suggests that at one point in her human life, Bella farted on the top story of the house and Emmett started dying of laughter from two floors down.
When I say I love Edward Cullen, I am referring to the heavily edited version of Edward that I have created from various text posts and non-canonical sources. The emo, romantic, whiny, goofy Edward that peeks out from between the lines of SMeyer’s writing but mostly exists in memes.
Don’t ever think I like or enjoy that controlling, creepy, sexist, car-part-removing, over-protective stone dildo from canon.
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Midnight Sun, A Summary
Bella: (exists)
Edward:
