#twgnpfu

Season One, Episode One

The Short Stories of Maythan

1. Somewhere to stay

“Millie,” Tom growled down the phone to his younger sister. “I do not want my little sister moving in with me.” He didn’t sound happy.

“Why not?” Millie asked, sticking her bottom lip out. “Aren’t you going to help me move away from home?” She was standing at Manchester train station. She had her tickets to board any train to London. All she needed was somewhere to stay.

“You’re not ready to move out of home, yet,” Tom sighed. “Mum needs you there. I don’t know about dad, but mum definitely needs you.”

Millie rolled my eyes and sighed. “I don’t want to be near them, Tom.” Tom sighed and even though Millie couldn’t see him doing it, she could sense that he was rubbing his eyes in frustration. “Even if I don’t move in with you, is there somewhere I can stay while I get both feet on the ground?” There was a bit of mumbling on Tom’s end of the line for a couple of minutes. “Tom?”

“Nathan and Jay said you can crash in their spare room for a bit,” Tom groaned. He didn’t sound impressed that they’d offered to set Millie up until she could find her own place. Millie heard some whispering from Jay before Tom said, “they said that you can stay there as long as you like, too.” Millie squealed as she saw a train for London pulling up at the platform she was on.

“Tell them I said thanks,” Millie said in a pitch that Tom didn’t appreciate too much. “And I’ll be at Euston in about four hours if someone can pick me up.”

Tom sighed before agreeing to pick her up. She just had to let him know when the train was pulling up to Coventry. That way he knew she was an hour away.

  2. Two Parkers and a McGuiness

Tom met Millie at London Euston station and gave her a hug as soon as he spotted her. He put his hands on both her shoulders and looked at her. It seemed like he was going to say something but held it in. He wrapped his arm around her and led her towards his car. Jay was sitting in the front seat playing Temple Run on his iPhone. Millie banged her fist on the window which made him jump. He looked up at her, squinting against the sun and hardened his look when he saw it was the younger Parker who had ruined his high score attempt. She grinned at him and waved before chucking her suitcase into the boot of Tom’s car.

“I’m going to have to play for another fifteen minutes before I get even close to that score again,” Jay playfully snarled as Millie sat down in the car.

“I’m sure you’ll do it, Bird,” she laughed. She wrapped her arm around the front of the seat and hugged him. “Thanks for letting me crash at yours for a bit.”

“No probs, Mils,” Jay said and kissed her arm. “Anyway, you don’t want to listen to Kelsey and Tom at it every night, do ya?”

Millie shivered at the thought of her brother even kissing a girl. As much as Millie loves, appreciates and respects Kelsey, the thought of them doing anything made Millie gag.

“Shut up, Bird,” Tom said and punched Jay in the arm. “That’s my little sister. She shouldn’t know about anything like that!”

“I’m 20!” Millie argued. She smirked at the thought that Tom thought of her as an innocent little 12 year old; even if he blatantly knew that she was not innocent.

“Still shouldn’t know about that stuff,” Tom laughed. Millie put her seat belt on and crossed her arms, sinking down into the car seat. She mumbled “twat” just loud enough for Tom to hear. “Pipe it, Mils,” he said before clipping his seat belt in place and turning the engine on to pull away.

  3. Call me maybe?

“Your room,” Tom huffed as he chucked Millie’s suitcase onto the floor of my new room. He took her shoulders into his hands again. “Are you sure you want to move out of mum and dad’s house?”

“Yes,” she assured him. “I can’t stand it with them suffocating me; even if I do love them a bunch.”

Tom sighed and pulled her in for a hug. He kissed the top of her head. “If you ever change your mind, let either me or one of the lads know. I can then drive you straight home.” She stuck my fingers down my throat and made a gagging sound. “Oh, shut it, Mils. You’re so immature sometimes.” Tom laughed. “I’ll leave you to settle in, yeah?” She nodded into his chest. “Call me later?”

“Doesn’t it go, call me maybe?” Millie joked. Tom shoved her away and rolled his eyes before laughing. She followed him to the front door where he kissed her forehead and said goodbye. Millie shut the front door and headed towards the stairs. She was halfway up them when Nathan stood at the kitchen door and called her name. “Yeah, Nath?” She asked, sitting down on the stair she had my foot on. She peered through the banisters, pulling faces at him.

“You want tea?” Nathan smiled. He stood there smiling for a few seconds while she started to stare him down.

“Only if it’s proper tea and you or Jay haven’t done something to it this time.” She cocked an eyebrow. She’d learnt this skill from Nathan. He regrets it completely now.

“Like what?” He asked as he pulled his cute confused face.

“Hmm, let me think,” Millie said as she stood up and walked down the stairs until she reached the bottom one. “Salt instead of sugar? Or maybe coffee instead or tea?”

Nathan grinned at her, remembering all the times he and Jay had made her drink some form or tea that had been – let’s say – tampered with. “Jay’s not in at the moment so you don’t need to worry about that.”

“Then, yes, I would like one please,” she requested and smiled at him. She started to walk back up the stairs again. “I’m borrowing your speakers while I unpack, too, alright?”

Nathan mumbled something from the kitchen. Millie couldn’t hear exactly what it said, but she guessed it was “okay.”

  4. I work out

“When I’m at the mall, security just can’t fight them off,” Millie sang as she unpacked her suitcase. “And when I’m at the beach, I’m in my Speedos try’na tan my cheeks. This is how I row. Come on ladies, it’s time to row. We headin’ to the bar, babe, don’t be nervous. No shoes, no shirt but I still get service like oh.”

“Woah, look at that body,” Jay sang. “Oh, girl, look at that body. Oh,” Nathan joined in. “Girl, look at that body.” They both sang.

“Aha-ha, I work out,” Millie sang and grinned. She turned the volume down on Nathan’s speakers as Jay handed her tea to her. She looked at it suspiciously. “What have you done to it?” She asked, setting it down on the floor and looking at Jay and Nathan.

“Nothing,” Jay laughed and flashed his cute, lop-sided grin at her. She stared him down more. He sat down, cross-legged, in front of her. “Mils, honestly, I’ve done nothing to your cup of tea.” Millie lifted the mug to my nose and smelled it.

“Because it’s my cup of coffee.” Millie groaned. She put the mug on her desk and stood up. She lifted Nathan’s mug out of his hands and claimed it as her own. Nathan and Millie have similar tea preferences, two sugars, quite milky.

“It’s okay, I wasn’t drinking that,” Nathan said sarcastically as he left the room.

“Cheers, Nath,” she chuckled. She went back to my original seating position opposite Jay and stared him down again. “You made Nathan make himself another cup of tea. You’re so mean at times, Bird.” She laughed as Jay pulled a face as if to say ‘no I didn’t!’

Millie lifted her laptop out of her suitcase. It was wrapped in the middle so as to reduce the risk of the screen cracking during the train journey. She pulled the laptop out of its case and pressed the power button. After a few seconds, it had fully loaded. She opened my internet up without even thinking about the internet connection that was currently non-existent on her laptop.

Webpage unavailable.                                                                         

Millie was confused. Of course, she needed the WEP key for the router rather than it already being in the laptop like it was whenever she went to Tom’s or Max’s.

“What’s up?” Jay asked.

“Internet isn’t working,” she said. Millie realised why and facepalmed herself while Jay laughed at her. He handed her his iPhone with the WEP key on the screen. She quickly typed it in and pressed refresh on the browser. Voila, it was working.

  5. A gay Bird

“Millie, we’re going out tonight to celebrate you moving to London,” Jay shouted from his bedroom. Millie was hanging out on her bed. She groaned in reply. He appeared at her bedroom door a few seconds later. “Millicent Jemima Parker, get your arse ready!”

“Don’t call me that, Bird!” She growled.

“Get ready then,” he grinned. “Come on, skinny jeans, that green top and your tan, strap heels.”

“Are you sure you’re not gay? You know my wardrobe nearly as well as I do.” She giggled as he pulled a face as if he was insulted. “Fine, you’re not gay, Bird.” She chuckled to herself.

“Just get dressed,” Jay said as he walked back towards his room. “We’re leaving in 20.”

Millie rolled my eyes and shut her door. She stripped off the clothes she was wearing throughout the day and took her skinny dark jeans, green top and heels out of her wardrobe. She was putting on her makeup when Nathan walked in.

“Ever heard of knocking?” She asked, not stopping with putting her foundation on.

Nathan knocked on her door. “You ready?” She turned to face him, pointing at her face and turned back to the mirror in the room. Nathan let out an “urgh” sound before sitting on her bed. “Why do girls take so long?”

“You’ve been getting ready longer than I have!” She laughed. “I started about 10-15 minutes ago. You’ve been getting ready for an hour.”

“Shut up, Mils,” Nathan laughed and threw her cardigan at the back of her head. She threw him a death look and continued with her makeup.

  6. Poorly dancing Parkers

“Right, you two,” Millie slurred in the club. She grabbed Nathan and Jay by their tops and pulled them towards her. “If I ever bring a guy back, it stays between us, okay?” She raised her eyebrows and looked at them for agreement. They both nodded. “Good boys,” she said in a patronising tone and patted their heads. Tom came back over to them at the bar and dragged Millie onto the dance floor. He swayed her side to side with his arm around her shoulders in an effort to dance. She swigged her drink as they swayed together. That’s one thing Tom had taught her, how to drink. He’s been teaching her since she hit 14.

Kelsey dragged Siva’s girlfriend Jade over to Tom, Max, Jay and Millie. Kelsey grabbed Millie’s hand and started dancing with her. Millie drunkenly giggled and danced with Kelsey. Millie wondered between the two of the Parkers, how did neither of them manage to gain any dancing skill? Kelsey could dance though. And of course, Millie was jealous of her for this. Millie ended up swaying in the arms of a very drunk Jay. He kept resting his head on her shoulder – which is quite a distance for him – and giggling in her ear. The sound of him giggling made her giggle even more. In the end, he slung his arm across her shoulders and she dragged him over to a couch.

“I think someone needs to go home soon, don’t they Bird?” Millie asked and crouched before him. He moved his face so he was in front of her. His eyes couldn’t stay still long enough to focus on her hazel eyes. She laughed at him and pushed him back into the seat. She stroked his face before going off to find Nathan. Once she’d tracked him down, she pulled him close to her and yelled by his ear, “I’m going to take Jay home. You going to be alright?” Millie pulled away from him and he nodded his head. She hugged him before going back to Jay.

7. Drunk Jay = Horny Jay

“Strip,” Millie ordered Jay as he stumbled back into his room which was at the front of the house. He pulled his top and jeans off in a surprising fluid motion. He stood in front of her in just his boxer briefs. He wrapped his arms around her and fell back on to his bed, pulling her down with him. She screamed and laughed at him. Millie didn’t realise how drunk she was until they’d got out of the club. “Get off you loon.” She giggled and rolled off his bed.

“Well, you said earlier that any guy you bring back should stay between us,” Jay slurred. His eyes were closed but he was supporting his upper body with his arms. He faced in her direction. She was standing by the door at this point. “How about you ravish me tonight in this bed?”

“Dream on, Bird,” she laughed. “Night!” She yelled and headed to her room at the back of the house. Millie stripped off her own clothes and fell into an alcohol-induced sleep.

  8. Introduction of le bitch

“Anybody want tea?” Millie yelled  the next morning to the house. Someone ran down the stairs and into the kitchen. Nathan appeared and grinned at her. She narrowed her eyes at him. “For a cup of tea? Wow, you move fast, Nath.” She chuckled but was a bit confused as to why he moved so fast. “I would’ve brought it to you.”

“I need two cups of tea,” he blushed. Millie’s mouth fell open.

“Who is he?” She joked. He lightly shoved her on the way to the fridge to get the milk out.

“She is called Ashley and she was working the bar last night.” Nathan didn’t look her in the eye as he placed the milk on the side. “Do you want to fill the kettle up?” He chuckled.

“Oh shit,” she said, grabbing the kettle and filling it up under the cold tap. “Is she pretty or hot?”

“Definitely hot,” Nathan breathed out with a grin on his face. Millie smiled. It was rare that Nathan found a girl that he liked to bring back to the house.

“Anything going to come out of it?” Millie asked as the kettle finished boiling. She sorted the tea bags out in the mugs. There was an extra cup for Jay as he’d need it for his hangover.

“I hope not at the moment,” Nathan whispered as we heard footsteps come down the stairs. A few seconds later, Ashley (or who I was guessing was Ashley) came into the kitchen. She was dressed in Nathan’s Stewie Griffin t-shirt and her underwear. She leaned against Nathan and kissed him, running her fingers through his hair. Millie started to pull a face of her gagging until Nathan noticed and narrowed his eyes at her. She had to make her laugh into a cough and handed them both their mugs of tea.

Ashley giggled. It was a high-pitch giggle that instantly made you want to hate her. Millie was by the kitchen door and facing away so she knew it was safe to roll her eyes. She left the kitchen, carrying her and Jay’s cups of tea. “Jay didn’t do very well with pulling last night,” Ashley giggled.

“That’s Tom’s sister actually,” Millie heard Nathan say.

“How could Tom be related to her?” Ashley spat. Millie stopped at the top of the stairs, listening to them talking. Nathan stayed silent. “I mean, he’s fit and she’s ... how should I put it? Plain?”

Millie’s blood boiled. How could she tell she was going to hate her?

  9. Hungover Jay

Scroll. Scroll. Scroll. Scroll. Reblog a gif of the lads when All Time Low got to Number 1. Scroll. Scroll. Scroll. Millie was jolted from her Tumblr daze by a hungover Jay crawling on all fours into her bedroom. She completely forgot about his tea. It was still sitting on her desk; probably cold by now. Jay climbed onto her bed and spread himself out, careful not to hit Millie with either his arms or legs.

“Morning,” Millie chirped and grinned at him. He groaned in return, opening only one eye and looking at her. She leaned over to her desk, lifted the tea up and felt that it was still slightly warm. She handed it to Jay. He sat up and drank it.

“Thanks,” he tried to say. His voice sounded crackly and dry. “I’m not even sure how I slept last night. My back and arms are killing me.”

All Millie could do was laugh at him. She put my laptop on the floor at the bottom of my bed. She turned around and faced Jay. He drank all his tea in one go and laid back down on her bed. He had his eyes closed and was rubbing them.

“Aww, poor, hungover Bird,” Millie cooed. She lay next to him and gave him a cuddle. “Maybe you could buy me Nandos for lunch to get rid of that hangover.”

Jay groaned. “Can’t you drive and pick it up?” He groaned again.

“Not insured on your car, mate,” Millie pouted. “And I have no money because I need a job.”

“Well, as you’re going to Nandos, why don’t you see if they need anyone?” Jay suggested.

“I’m not working at Nandos.” She sighed. “Been there once, and hated it.”

“Well, can you get me some anyway?” Jay asked as he poked her in the side.

Millie sighed. “Fine,” she said and shoved a cardigan and some trackies on.

  10. Dent in Marcie

When Millie got back, Jay was still laying on her bed. Well, he’d moved so he was under the covers and asleep. She placed both of their meals on the desk. She went back to the door and leaned against the frame.

“Jay?” She half-yelled into her bedroom hoping to wake Jay up. “Jay? I hope you don’t mind but I kind of made a slight dent in your car.”

“How much of a dent?” Jay asked. His eyes shot open and he lifted his head slightly.

“Erm, big enough to send it to the garage,” she said calmly. She hadn’t really dented his car. It was safe and parked outside the house. She wasn’t going to tell him that though. She wanted him out of her bed.

Jay shot up out of bed and ran downstairs while yelling “my poor Marcie!” He wrenched the front door open to find his car parked on the driveway. He turned around to see Millie bent over, clutching her stomach with laughter. Nathan came out of the living room to see what was going on. Ashley appeared at the door with him. She looked down her nose at Millie before turning to face Nathan. “Did you get the Nandos, Mils?” Jay asked.

Millie controlled herself and stood up, taking deep breaths to stop herself from laughing. “Yeah, it’s up in my room. Here’s your keys.” She chucked Jay’s car key to him and made her way upstairs to her room, cracking open the Nandos bag. Jay followed closely behind. He made a quick detour to his room to put a top and some trackies on. He carried his TV into my room and plugged it in – setting it up to watch Avatar – before sitting down next to Millie on the bed and eating his Nandos.

  11. Privacy invader

Millie turned the shower off and stepped out. The only thing about this bathroom is that the towel hanger is the other side of the shower. She shut the shower door to see Nathan pissing into the toilet. “Oh my God,” she screamed but couldn’t get a hold of the shower door to pull it open. Nathan had turned around and seen her in all her glory. He faced the opposite wall to look away before he chuckled to himself. She managed to get a hold of the shower door and hold it open. Millie felt like her whole body was going red. “C-c-can you pass me my towel, Nathan?” She asked. He finished weeing, flushed the loo and washed his hands before he handed a towel around the door to her. She let out a small thank you before shutting the shower door, wrapped in a towel this time.

“What are you doing in here while I’m showering?” She asked. She threw her head forward, letting her hair fall in front of her. She gathered it all up and tied it into a messy bun for the moment.

“I needed a piss and as we only have one bathroom between us,” he said. He didn’t need to finish the sentence for Millie to catch his drift.

“We have a garden,” Millie laughed. He rolled his eyes at her as she made her way to the mirror that is stretched across the bathroom wall.

“It’s more fun to risk seeing you naked though,” Nathan purred into her ear. It sent shivers up her spine. She elbowed him in the stomach.

“Go fuck Ashley,” she snarled and left him in the bathroom.

“I was mucking around, Mils,” Nathan said in an apologetic tone. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t come in while I’m showering again, Nath, okay?” Millie asked, standing at her bedroom door as he came out the bathroom. Nathan bit the inside of his cheek as he nodded, placing a hand on the bathroom door frame. “Thank you.” She turned around and headed into her bedroom, slamming the door shut.

12. Nasty Nashley sounds

“Urgh,” Millie groaned to Jay. “Does she have her own place they can do that in?” She covered her ears to mute the sound of Nathan and Ashley, erm ... how do you put it nicely? Satisfying each other?

“Let’s get out of here then,” Jay suggested, not even fazed by the nasty sounds of Nashley going on upstairs.

Millie quickly stood up, grabbed her converses from the front door and fled out to Jay’s car. Jay quickly followed, unlocking his car as he pulled the front door shut. They both climbed into his car and Jay pulled away after stalling once. He had no clue where he was driving to but after a couple of hours, they found themselves somewhere in the countryside. Jay pulled up a side road off the main road and found a place to park his car for a bit. Millie climbed out the car as soon as Jay turned the engine off.

It was hot outside the air-conditioned car. Millie instantly took off my cardigan and threw it on the back seat. She was thankful she shoved some shorts on instead of pulling on some jeans. She sat on the bonnet of the car. She leaned against the front window, basking in the sunlight. Jay pulled himself out of the car and joined Millie on the bonnet. They laid there in silence for a few minutes. Millie had her eyes closed and listened to the light breeze hitting the couple of trees that were near them but creating no shade on the car.

Millie and Jay were jerked out of their daze by Millie’s phone ringing in her pocket. She squinted at the screen to see it was her mum. She hesitated answering the call before pressing the answer button. “Hi, mum,” she winced down the phone. Millie hadn’t exactly told her parents about her plans to move to London.

“Why did I have to hear from your brother that you decided to move to London three days ago?” Millie’s mum asked. Jay sat silently next to Millie while she had a row with her mum about having her freedom and finding her own two feet to stand on instead of being kept up in Bolton so that her mother had control over one of her offspring.

  13. Parker wants a piss up

“Nathan,” Millie called up the stairs when Jay had driven the two of them back. “We’re going out tonight!”

“Why?” Nathan yelled back.

Millie rubbed her eyes before replying “because I need to get drunk!” Nathan came out of his room and stood at the top of the stairs. He was wearing Jay’s ‘If you tilt your head to read this, you owe me a blowjob’ t-shirt and a pair of knee-length shorts. He tilted his head and gave Millie a questioning look. She shook her head as if to say ‘don’t ask.’ He moved as quickly as he could down the stairs and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She stood there in his arms for a while.

“You tilted your head,” Millie commented after a couple of minutes. “Does that mean you owe me a blowjob?” She tried to act serious but Jay was standing beside them both now and he couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. Next was Nathan laughing softly in her ear before she felt herself laughing.

Nathan whispered in her ear, “Only if you want one.”

  14. Taxi to the alcohol

Jay, Nathan and Millie all climbed into the taxi that was waiting outside the house for them. Nathan and Jay both looked at Millie to say where they were going; Millie was waiting for Ashley to join them. She’d been round the last two days so Millie thought why wasn’t she here now? She looked to Nathan. “No Ashley?” She asked, not being too bothered about it.

“We’re not seeing each other for a couple of days,” he said and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“Arcadium please, mate,” Millie said to the taxi driver and relaxed between Nathan and Jay. “Remember what I said the other night, lads?” She asked, placing her hands on their knees. They both looked as if to say ‘which saying?’ “Any guys, you don’t speak of them in front of anyone else.”

Jay had started on the beer as soon as they’d got back from their drive to the country. Let’s just say he was a bit more than tipsy already. “What if it’s one of us?” Jay had his face about an inch away from Millie’s. He traced his fingertips lightly across her shoulder.

“Not gonna happen, Bird,” she chuckled before wrinkling up her face and sticking her tongue out at him. Nathan laughed at Jay being so merry already. She kissed him playfully on the nose and leaned against Nathan. Nathan kissed the top of her head and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She felt him slightly turn his body towards her, knowing he was facing Jay’s direction. “Stop pulling faces and mouthing stuff to Bird, Nath,” she laughed.

“How did you know?” Nathan asked.

“I’ve got Tom as a brother,” Millie smirked.

  15. Blurred and unfocussed

Shots. Shots. Shots. Shots. Millie’s vision was blurred. She was still in the club but the person with their arms around her was neither Jay nor Nathan. She lost them a few ... she don’t know how long ago she’d lost them. She wasn’t even sure what the time is. Pulling her phone out of my bra and closing one eye, she tried to focus on the time. 3:39am. 5 missed calls. 3 new messages.

Nathan: Where are you? Me and Jay are in the toilet x

Jay: Come to the bar. We want more drinks and we lost you x

Jay: Mils, where are you? We can’t see you anywhere xx

The guy Millie was dancing with turned her around in his arms and kissed her. She felt her phone buzz in her hands several times as she kissed this guy. He wrapped his arms around her. His hands started to make their way up her dress before she pushed his hands down. He grabbed her wrists to stop me causing her to drop her phone on the ground. He still had a hold of her wrists. A girl who was wearing heels stood on her phone, cracking the screen and keyboard. The guy started to pull Millie away from the dancing crowd on the dance floor. She felt like she’d sobered up quite a bit while this was happening. Adrenaline was taking over my blood instead of the alcohol. She caught a glimpse of Jay’s hair in the crowd, seeing him turn around but not being there long enough to see if he had seen her.

“Shut up and follow me,” the guy said, wrapping his arm around her. This pinned one of her arms between the two of them. They made our way out of the club. Millie stayed silent, scared of what he’d do to her. A taxi started to pull up towards them on the pavement when Millie felt the guy being dragged behind her and heard something fall to the ground. She turned around to see Jay had pinned the guy against the ground and had punched him. Nathan ran out the club and over to her. She was trembling; scared of what would’ve happened if Jay hadn’t grabbed the guy. Nathan took her into his arms.

“You’re a worthless piece of shit,” Jay spat. One of the bouncers pulled him off the guy on the floor. “I’m fine, mate,” Jay said to the bouncer. He held his hands up to show he wasn’t going to attack the guy on the floor anymore. The bouncer walked away until Jay kicked the guy on the floor. Jay quickly made his way over to Millie and Nathan. Nathan released his arms as Jay wrapped his arms around Millie in Nathan’s place. She grabbed onto Jay’s top and refused to loosen her grip. It seemed that he wasn’t going to be letting her go anytime soon. “Let’s get you home,” Jay said into her ear.

  16. Worried Jay

“I knew something was up when you didn’t reply to any of the texts and didn’t answer our calls,” Jay said. Millie was still attached to him. They were now in the taxi on the way back to the house.

“I was going to reply to your texts but he turned me around and kissed me so I kissed him back,” Millie started to explain. “Then he started to put his hands up my dress and I tried to stop him and he grabbed my wrists which is when my phone dropped out my hands and it got stood on and I lost it in the crowd and then he started to drag me off and I saw you but I didn’t think you saw me and ...” She burst into tears. “I was so scared.” She cried into Jay’s chest. His arms tightened around her. Nathan rubbed his hand on her back. She’d completely forgot that Nathan was in the taxi as well.

They shortly arrived back at the house. Jay lifted Millie up into the bridal position and carried her up to her room. He sat down on the bed with Millie placed on his lap. “I’m going to go make you some tea while you get changed, okay?” Jay said softly into her ear. She nodded and looked up to him. He had a look of sadness mixed with relief on his face. He pulled her close to him so their cheeks were touching. “I’m so glad you’re safe,” he whispered.

Millie felt her cheek – the one that pressed against Jay’s – become wet. She wasn’t sure whether it was because of her own tears or because of Jay’s. She wrapped her arms around him tighter. She didn’t want to let go of him, until she heard Tom’s voice downstairs, asking Nathan where she was.

  17. Nothing like a big brother to protect you

Millie unwrapped he arms from Jay’s neck. She sat herself next to him and leant against his body. He had only one arm around her now and wiped his face with his free hand. Tom stormed into Millie’s room, chucking the door open so it banged against the wall. Millie stood up and Tom took her into his arms. He stroked her hair as they stood there. There is no safer feeling than to have your big brother’s arms wrapped around you, protecting you. He walked her slowly back over to her bed. He leant away from her and lowered his head, placing his hands gently on her shoulders. “Put some comfy clothes on and I’ll bring you back up a cup of tea,” Tom said. Millie swallowed the tears back and nodded her head. Tom kissed her on the head and pulled Jay out of my room. Millie pulled her dress off and chucked some pj shorts and one of Tom’s old tops from home on.

  18. Protective Parker

“Why weren’t you with my sister the whole time?” Tom asked, furious that Jay and Nathan had left Millie alone. “Why did you let her start kissing some guy?” Jay just looked guilty that he had left Millie by herself. He then swivelled his head to face Nathan. Nathan sank back into the corner, not wanting to be noticed by either of them.

“Look, Tom, we were drunk and she was dancing with some girls she’d started chatting to,” Jay started to explain. “We texted her and called her several times in the club. We walked around the dance floor to find her a couple of times but we couldn’t see her. It was packed.”

“Jay was lucky he saw a glimpse of her being dragged out of sight off the dance floor,” Nathan chipped in. “Who knows where she’d been now if he hadn’t seen her.” He sunk into the back of the kitchen again.

“What if she’d been taken by him?” Tom asked. He’d stopped making the tea. “How would you explain that to me? How would we have found her? What state would she be in? Did you think of any of this before you left her?” Tom was nearly in tears as he turned back to finish making the tea; a cup for him and a cup for Millie. “As soon as I saw Nathan’s name appear on my screen and the tone in his voice as he said “mate”, I knew it was about Millie and it was bad.” Tom took the teabags out of the mugs and put them in the bin. He leant his forearms against the kitchen counter and rested his forehead on them. Tom burst into tears from the thought of what could’ve happened to Millie. Jay moved towards him, pulling him up from the counter and encasing him in a bear hug.

“She’s alright now,” Jay said. “She’s upstairs, probably in bed by now, with her brother and two of his best friends in the house to protect her. She’s safe now, Tom.”

“She won’t be safe until she’s at home with our mum and dad,” Tom growled. He pushed Jay off of him and wiped his face. He poured milk into each of the cups and stirred, throwing the teaspoon in the direction of the sink. “Don’t even think about trying to change my mind into letting her stay here,” Tom snarled as he left the kitchen. Jay and Nathan heard Tom go up the stairs and along the landing to Millie’s room.

“We can’t let him send her back to Bolton,” Jay said turning to face Nathan. Jay had a hurt expression on his face. He really didn’t want Millie to leave.

“Mate, once he has his mind set, it’s hard to change it,” Nathan said quietly. “You know what those two are like. They’re both as stubborn as each other.”

“Well, hopefully she’ll get to stay then,” Jay said and crossed his arms across his chest as he rested against the counter that Tom had just finished making tea. Nathan fussed with his hair. He then looked at Jay with his eyebrows raised and a smirk on his face once realising what Jay had said. Jay caught Nathan’s eye contact and looked away, his cheeks flushing with colour. “Shut up, Nath.”

“You need to stop thinking like that though,” Nathan said as he went to head out the kitchen. “He’ll never allow it.” Nathan shrugged and left Jay in the kitchen by himself. Jay heard Nathan head up to his own room. Nathan shut the bedroom door and climbed into bed.

Jay sighed. He knew Tom would never allow him to make a move on Millie but Jay was sure that Millie was feeling the same way.

  19. Back to Bolton

“Hey, Mils,” Tom said quietly as he went into Millie’s room. She was tucked up under the covers. He placed her cup of tea on the bedside table. He placed his cup on the other side of the bed and climbed under the covers with her. He wrapped one arm around her and pulled her into him. She rested her head on his shoulder. “I think you should go to sleep once you’ve had your tea. Then we’ll talk about getting you home in the morning.” Tom kissed her head.

Millie pulled away from him. “I’m not moving home,” she said, moving his arm from around her. She shook her head at him. “No, you’re not sending me back to Bolton, Tom!” She climbed out of bed and stood up next to it. “You can’t do it.”

“I don’t want you living in London,” Tom groaned. “What if Jay and Nathan aren’t there next time tonight happens? What if you get taken and ... and ra... what if the next guy ...” Tom started to cry. Millie’s rarely seen him like this. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happens to you.” Tom wept.

“Don’t send me back to Bolton, please,” Millie begged. “I can’t go back there. You don’t understand how much I can’t go back.”

“What happened?” Tom suddenly stopped crying. He wiped the tears off his face and knelt on the bed in front of Millie. He moved his head so she had no choice but to make eye contact with him. “Mils, tell me what happened at home.”

“I got into a massive argument with Maxi from home,” she said, breaking eye contact from Tom. Tom looked confused for a moment. Millie sighed before saying, “he was the guy I was seeing and we got in a fight and I hit him.” Tom’s mouth dropped. Millie was one of the least violent people anyone would come across. She never needed to know how to fight because Tom was usually there.

“What happened after you hit him?” Tom asked, knowing it was a bit of a touchy subject he was venturing into.

“He told me to get out of his flat and leave Bolton. If he ever saw me again in Bolton unless it was to visit my family with you, he’d get someone on me.” Millie nibbled her top lip and looked at Tom. He just gave her a sympathetic look which was quickly replaced with anger.

“He can’t say that to you!” Tom snarled. “How dare he say that to you!”

“Well, I’ve left now and I’ll only go back with you. Mum and dad don’t need to know and you,” she put her hands on Tom’s face. “You need to keep your trap shut and keep those thoughts that you’re having, locked up and maybe even get rid of them. I don’t want you hunting him down whenever we next go home!”

“He can’t just banish you from Bolton though,” Tom said. “If I ever bump into him, I’m gonna fucking knock him out!”

“Touch him and you’ll have me to deal with, Tom,” Millie warned. “He may be a complete cock, but he’s a cock I care about.” Tom wanted to say something but he held his tongue back. He sat back on the bed and drank his tea. “I’m going to sleep in Jay’s bed. I know you’ll be wanting to say something about Maxi.” Millie grabbed her mug and walked off to Jay’s room.

  20. Within his reach

“Jay?” Millie asked as she went into his room. His light was still on but he didn’t seem to be in there. She left his room and made her way downstairs. The kitchen light was the only light on downstairs. Best bet was to go there. Jay was sitting down on one of the chairs with his face in his hands. “What’s up?” Millie asked, sitting herself on one of the other chairs. Jay raised his head slightly.

“I’m just thinking,” Jay said, sitting up properly. He didn’t want to talk about it after everything that had happened already tonight. “What are you doing down here? I thought you’d be asleep, curled up to your brother by now.”

Millie shook her head at him. “Nah, he wants to send me back to Bolton and I told him the reason I can’t go back to Bolton. I’ve had enough of talking about it to him.” She looked at her cup of tea. She’d barely touched it. She took a sip and relaxed into the chair. With most people, caffeine gets them pumped and ready to face the day. Millie was the opposite. Tea made her mellow and sleepy. She stared into her tea for a bit before realising what she was doing. She looked up to be met by Jay’s eyes. Those piercing blue eyes. His eyes darted to his hands, which were playing with the bottom of his top. Millie finished off her tea. Jay was still playing with his top. She dragged her chair close to Jay’s and held his hands together. “What’s up, Bird?” She asked.

“What if I hadn’t seen you being dragged away?” Jay asked Millie. He looked into her eyes. “What would have happened if that guy had taken you off and we didn’t know where you were?” Jay looked genuinely upset.

“But that didn’t happen,” Millie said. She sat on his lap and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around her back and squeezed her. “I’m alright, Jay. There is no need for any of you to worry anymore.”

Jay breathed deeply several times into the gap above Millie’s collarbone. This was the only thing that he could focus on to stop himself from tilting his head up and kissing her. “Come on,” Jay said and stood up from his chair, making sure that Millie landed on her feet and not her arse. “You need to sleep so let’s get you back up to your bed.”

“Would it be alright if I sleep in yours?” Millie asked, looking quite sheepish about asking. “Just for tonight?” Jay couldn’t exactly say no to her without causing some kind of suspicion as to why she couldn’t sleep in his bed. They were just friends. It would be fine.

“Yeah, sure,” Jay sighed. “You go up. I’ll be up in a minute.” Millie pulled a confused expression. “I’m just going to make sure the doors are locked,” Jay explained. This made Millie relax. She made her way up the stairs and into Jay’s room. She crawled under the covers and started to drift off.

Jay checked the front and back doors to make sure they were locked before switching the kitchen light off and making his way up the stairs in the dark. He fell over twice, misjudging where the step was. He flicked the light on his bedside table on. He took his clothes off and pulled on some trackies. He climbed into bed next to Millie. He flicked the light back off and relaxed his head into the pillows. Millie rolled over; she was just about to drift off. Jay wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into him. She muzzled her face into his neck just as she fell completely asleep. Jay sighed as his hand found hers and wound his fingers into hers.

    21. Pecker Parker

Millie woke up before Jay the next morning. Her head was resting on his chest by now. Their hands were still holding each others. It was a loose grip but they were still holding. Millie seemed confused at first but then shrugged it off. She let go of his hand and rolled out of bed. She made her way to the bathroom. Tom came out of Millie’s room as she reached the bathroom door.

“Mils,” Tom grunted. “Can you come back to your room when you’re finished in ...” Tom dragged the sentence off. She understood him. She’s spent her whole life having to tie up his sentences. Millie nodded and went into the bathroom. A couple of minutes later she was climbing into her own bed next to Tom. “Are you sure you can’t go back and live with mum and dad?” Tom asked. Millie shook her head.

“I explained everything, last night,” Millie moaned. She sank into the bed and pulled the covers up to her face. She breathed in and chucked the duvet away from her. “Ew, this smells of you. I’m going to have to change the bedding.” Tom laughed at Millie. “I’m serious! I’ve only been here for like four days now.”

“Mils,” Tom cackled. “It only smells like my deodorant. It’s not like I shit the bed.” Millie pulled a disgusted look.

“Still smells like you,” she mumbled. “And you smell disgusting. You tramp!” Millie smiled. Tom grabbed her playfully around the neck and held her in a headlock while rubbing his knuckles against the top of her head. “Get off me, Pecker,” Millie giggled.

Tom let her go. As soon as she was out of his grip, Millie jumped out of bed and ran out of her room. She ran into Nathan and nearly landed face first on the floor. Nathan managed to catch her before she hit the floor though. He laughed at her before letting go of her though.

“Watch where you’re going, Mils,” Nathan chuckled before heading into the bathroom.

  22. Thoughts of Jayllie

Millie crawled under the covers next to Jay. A smile spread across his face. He put his arm around her as she leant into him. Millie tried to pay attention to the Big Bang Theory episode that was on but all she could keep thinking about was her and Jay holding hands. He had his left arm around her and his right hand was resting on his lap. Her right hand was about an inch away from his. She looked at their hands. Did she grab his hand in the night or did he hold her hand just before he drifted off? A piece of her wanted to wrap her fingers in his again. When she woke up, it felt nice to have his hand on hers. But he was her brother’s best mate. She couldn’t do that to her brother and he wouldn’t allow it even if hell froze over.

Jay looked down at Millie, noticing she was looking at his right hand that was on his lap. Her hand was within reaching distance. He felt so comfortable holding her hand in his, last night. His heart was pumping like mad with her just sitting next to him. He started to wonder if they were still holding hands when she woke up earlier. If they were, did that freak her out? Was that why she was watching his hand? Jay lifted his hand up and ran it through the curls on his head, resting it between his head and the headboard.

  23. Shoulder height above the rest

“Enjoying the photo shoot?” Jayne asked Millie as they stood watching the boys prat about in front of the camera.

“I had no choice but to come,” Millie chuckled as Jayne poured a cup of coffee. “Tom doesn’t want me to be left unattended since the other night.”

“Nathan mentioned something about it. Is everything alright now?” Jayne asked. She put a hand on Millie’s shoulder and rubbed her hand on it. Millie nodded and stared into her can of Pepsi Max.

Millie looked up and started to watch Nathan and Jay mucking about. Nathan was riding on Jay’s shoulders. Nathan had his arms up in the air in triumph. This started Tom and Max off. As Tom was the smaller one, he climbed onto Max’s shoulders with a little help from Siva. Siva was without anyone on his shoulders. He looked like a little lost puppy. He stepped away from the photoset and grabbed her hand.

“Come on, darling,” he said and dragged her over to the set. Tom and Nathan grabbed one of her hands each and helped her onto Siva’s shoulders. With Seev being the tallest, Millie was above the rest of them. Seev let her hold his hands to restrain her from falling backwards. She didn’t like being up there. She felt like she was going to fall backwards at any moment.

Nathan jumped down from Jay’s shoulders which made Millie want to get off Siva’s shoulders. Jay held his hands out to her and held them as Siva lowered himself to the ground. Millie jumped off Siva’s shoulders, falling into Jay slightly. “Sorry,” she chuckled softly. Siva and Nathan quickly lifted Millie up and put her on Jay’s shoulders. Panic struck through her as she wasn’t expecting it. As soon as she could, she grabbed onto Jay’s hands. It wasn’t just being up on his shoulders that put panic it through her, it was also the fact that he wasn’t too good on her feet. She didn’t particularly want to be falling from a distance of over six feet to the ground.

  24. Cock-blocker

“Thank you for not dropping me,” Millie joked as she sat down on the couch in the studio. Jay placed himself next to her, resting his legs on her lap.

“Aha-ha, no problem Mils,” Jay laughed. “I did my falling over the other day.” Millie pulled her eyebrows together in a look of confusion. “I didn’t turn the landing light on and had to make my way upstairs in the dark. I nearly fell down the stairs twice.” Millie laughed at Jay. “Shut up, Parker,” Jay joined in with her laughing. Millie pushed Jay’s legs off of her lap and leaned against him.

Tom was watching Jay and Millie the whole time they were at the photo shoot. Tom turned to Max and Nathan. “Do you think Millie likes Jay?” Tom asked them. Nathan and Max were not subtle in the way they looked over at Millie and Jay chatting.

“You got nothing to worry about, mate,” Max said and slapped Tom on the back. He dug into his food again. Tom looked at Nathan who had been quiet. Nathan was avoiding Tom’s eye contact.

“What about you, Nath?” Tom asked. “Do you think she likes him?”

“They get on really well,” Nathan said. He was now fussing with his food.

“Nathan,” Tom warned. “What do you really think? You live with them. You must notice something going on.”

“Nothing’s going on between them,” Nathan laughed. “They act like you do. Well, Jay acts like you. He’s like her live-in protective brother. I mean, he cares for her. And she just enjoys his company. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“Look at them,” Tom had stopped listening to Nathan.

Jay and Millie were now sitting in a different position. They looked like they were a couple. He was sitting facing her slightly; she was sitting with her legs across his lap. Jay running his fingers through Millie’s hair. Brushing her hair through with his fingers. Tom knew this was more than a friendship. All three guys saw how Jay was looking at Millie. They noticed how much adoration he had in his smile, in his eyes. Tom couldn’t take it anymore. ‘How dare Jay think of being with Millie,’ Tom thought. ‘She’s my little sister. He shouldn’t be thinking of doing anything like that with her.’ Tom walked over to Jay and Millie. As soon as the pair saw him walking over, Jay put his hands on his lap and pushed Millie’s legs off of him. Millie pushed herself away from Jay slightly and crossed her arms against her chest. Tom sat in the middle of the pair, effectively cock-blocking Jay.

  25. It’s the privacy invader again

Knock knock.

“I’m weeing,” Millie shouted to whoever was knocking on the door.

“Good,” Nathan replied. He unlocked the bathroom door and a second later, he’d opened it and stepped into the room. Millie’s arms fell to her lap to cover herself.

“Nathan!” She screamed. “You can’t just barge in while I’m on the loo.”

“What? He asked with a smirk on his face. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.” He winked at her and grinned. “Plus, I need to get in the shower.” He winked at her again before pulling the shower door open. This hid him from her sight as he switched the shower on and pulled his trackies off. He flung them in her direction. She screamed as they hit her in the face.

“You’re gonna pay for that, Sykes,” she laughed. Nathan climbed into the now hot and steaming shower.

“How’s that, Mils?” He asked.

Millie sorted herself out and pushed the flush on the toilet. Freezing cold water fell on Nathan as the toilet filled back up again. Nathan reacted by screaming like a little girl. Millie laughed at this reaction. She let the toilet finish filling up before starting to wash her hands. This let another wave of cold water fall on to Nathan.

“That’s right, bitch,” she laughed and went to leave the bathroom.

“It’s on, Parker!” Nathan yelled.

  26. Probing for an answer

Nathan couldn’t get back to sleep. Sure, Ashley could sleep. She was worn out. Nathan was worn out but once he’d woken up, his mind wouldn’t rest. He had to think of a way to get Millie back. Nathan thought of the typical, schoolboy pranks, flour/talc in the hairdryer, water on the door, butter/oil on the floor, salt in her tea, set his snake on her and even laxatives in her tea. No, the laxatives would be taking it a bit too far. Ashley stirred next to him. He didn’t want to be around when she eventually woke up. He loathed her. She was the girl he never wanted to end up with. It was just fun to have someone to sleep with. Nathan quickly but quietly jumped out of bed and shoved some trackies on. He left the room, almost bumping into Millie. She had a scorned look on her face.

“What’s up with you?” Nathan laughed. Millie exhaled sharply through her nose.

“Someone kept me up all night with their ... what am I supposed to call her?” Millie asked, tilting her head to the side. A smirk developed on her face. “Should I just keep continuing to call her a slag?” Millie pushed her way past Nathan and went downstairs. Nathan followed her. It was only six in the morning. Jay wouldn’t be awake until at least ten. Ashley, he wasn’t too sure about her.

“Aww, is someone jealous that I’m getting some and she’s not?” Nathan asked in a mocking tone and smiled. Millie headed straight into the kitchen, trying to slam the door in Nathan’s face. Nathan caught the door before it closed. “Are you a bit gutted that Jay’s not giving you what I give Ashley?”

“Are you trying to say I like Jay?” Millie asked, turning around to face Nathan. She had a ‘what the fuck’ expression on her face. “You think I like him!” Millie laughed. She shook her head. Of course, Millie didn’t want Nathan to know she was thinking about it. “You got it wrong, Sykes.”

“So, who do you like?” Nathan asked, fishing for an answer to tease her with. Millie knew what he was playing at. She moved towards him slowly. She lightly placed her hand on his chest and leaned towards him.

  27. Keith gets excited

“You think it’s Jay right?” She whispered into Nathan’s ear. His breathing shortened as he became turned on by this. Millie could tell what she was doing was turning him on. She planted a kiss next to his ear. She pulled away from Nathan and gave him a quick wink. Millie filled the kettle up and stuck it on, making a cup of tea for them both. Nathan made his way over to the fridge, trying to ignore the fact that Millie could probably see his hardon. He pulled the milk out and put it on the side next to Millie. “I don’t like Jay,” Millie lied, still trying to prove a point.

“I definitely believe you,” Nathan said sarcastically. He grinned at Millie.

“How do I prove that I don’t like Jay?” Millie asked as the kettle stopped boiling. She ignored it, waiting for Nathan to give her an answer.

“When we next go out, bring someone home,” Nathan suggested, smirking. Nathan knew if they went out with Tom, he wouldn’t let her be touched by any guy let alone bring one home. Millie sighed, knowing the same thing. She raised her eyebrows briefly at Nathan as if to say ‘yeah, like that’s going to happen’. Nathan smiled at this. Nathan moved back to stand in front of Millie. “Or you know you could prove it some other way.”

“What way is that, Sykes?” Millie asked, getting a bit short of breath as Nathan moved closer to her. This time it was her turn to get slightly turned on.

Nathan smiled before biting his bottom lip. He pushed Millie lightly into the counter and licked his lips before pushing himself against her. His lips were hovering over hers. She felt his hardon against her thigh. Nathan moved in to kiss her but quickly darted his lips to her neck. He started to kiss and nibble her neck, placing a hand on the other side of her neck. He kissed from the bottom of her neck upwards until he met her jaw line. He moved his lips to her ear where he sucked on her ear lobe briefly before whispering, “Well, I was thinking maybe this way.” He kissed her lips where she kissed back.

  28. You really got me going

Millie couldn’t believe she was doing this; especially as she knew these same lips were kissing and doing other things to Ashley only a few hours ago. She didn’t push Nathan off though. Nathan slid his hands up her back, unclasping the bra she’d put on before coming downstairs. It was strapless and slid off easily. Nathan chucked it behind him, hearing it hit the table. He pulled Millie against him, feeling her breasts press against his chest. Nathan smiled as he kissed her. Millie couldn’t think straight. She really liked Jay but she couldn’t stop kissing Nathan. She couldn’t bring herself to stop him from kissing her, from touching her. She ran her fingers through his hair, moaning into his kiss. His hands were cold as they rubbed against her back, causing goosebumps across any skin he touched.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” Millie moaned as Nathan went back to kissing her neck. His thumb found the waistband of her pj shorts.

“All you have to do is say stop and I’ll stop,” Nathan whispered. He pulled away from her slightly. He still had his thumb under her shorts waistband. Millie bit her bottom lip in frustration and pulled her eyebrows together. Nathan chuckled and pressed Keith against her thigh again. Nathan leaned in and whispered into her ear, “If you don’t want me to go any further, you just have to stop me and I’ll go and wake Ashley up to sort me out.” Nathan grinned as he felt Millie grab the back of his neck. She pulled him into her and kissed him. It wasn’t because Nathan had said that he’d go and wake Ashley up to sort him out, it was because she didn’t want him to think that she was into Jay and to stir things up. He could be a right shit-stirrer at times.

Nathan slid his hand into her pj shorts and started to rub her over her underwear. Millie bit her lip to stop herself from letting out any moans. Nathan grinned at her reaction and then slipped her underwear to the side as he inserted one finger into her. Millie gripped onto Nathan’s shoulders, digging her fingernails into his skin. Nathan held his lips against her collarbone as he slid another finger in. He kissed her collarbone as he moved his fingers in and out of her. He deepened his movements and sped up he felt her tightening. “Nathan,” she panted into his ear. “Nath-”

They both heard the top stair creak. They looked at each other in panic. Nathan knew that Jay had a thing for Millie and if Jay caught them doing what they were doing, Nathan would never be forgiven by Jay. Nathan slid his fingers out and sat down on the kitchen chair, crossing one leg over the other to hide his hardon. He quickly chucked Millie her bra. She had time to fuss with one clasp and flicked the kettle back on. A couple of seconds later, Ashley wandered into the kitchen. She sat down on Nathan’s lap and kissed him.

Millie quickly made herself and Nathan the tea she got distracted from and returned to her room. Ashley took a sip of Nathan’s tea before he’d even had a chance to even pick up the mug. Ashley placed the mug back on the kitchen table and kissed Nathan. She grinned at him. “I’ve got to go,” Ashley said to Nathan. “We meeting up tonight?” She played with the hair on the back of Nathan’s head. Nathan looked into her eyes, debating whether or not to have her over. Eventually, he shook his head.

“I think it would be best if you didn’t come over tonight,” Nathan said, pushing Ashley’s hair behind her ear. Ashley grinned and shrugged it off. She gave Nathan another kiss before leaving the house.

  29. Jerk face

Millie sat in her bed and switched her TV on. Frasier was on Channel 4. She heard the front door slam shut. That wouldn’t wake Jay up though. Nothing except his alarm on his phone or someone yelling at him wakes him up. Millie placed her mug onto her bedside table. She left her TV on as she quietly went back downstairs. Nathan was still sitting on one of the kitchen chairs, holding his cup of tea. Nathan felt like something was missing. Millie stood in the doorway to the kitchen.

“She left early,” Millie said, making Nathan jump. Nathan placed the mug back on the table.

“She had to go,” Nathan said. He rubbed his face with his hand. Millie straddled Nathan’s lap. She bent her head down and pushed her lips against his. “Millie,” Nathan whispered as he pulled away from her slightly. “We can’t be doing this.” Millie sighed. She knew she shouldn’t. “Your brother will kill me. Jay will kill me. Ashley will-”

“Why would Jay kill you?” Millie asked, pushing herself further away from Nathan.

Nathan’s mind went blank. Well, not completely blank. He had one reason as to why Jay would kill him but he couldn’t tell Millie that reason. “Erm ... err ... he lives with us. He’d kill me for letting it happen under his nose.” Nathan quickly recovered. Millie rolled her eyes and sighed again. She climbed off of Nathan’s lap and went to head out the kitchen. “Look, babe,” Nathan said from the chair. “It’s never going to happen.” And there was the Nathan that Millie loathed at times with his ‘babe’ and ‘hun’. She mentally punched herself for even thinking about sleeping with him. She then mentally punched herself for kissing him and letting him put anything inside of her; tongue or fingers. She pulled the kitchen door shut and retreated back to her room. She was at least thankful that her tea was still warm enough to drink.

  30. Millie vague

Millie stormed past the living room door and out into the dull, dark May afternoon. Jay jumped to his feet and rushed out to see where she was going. “Mils, wait up,” he yelled before slipping a pair of converses on. Millie heard him but didn’t slow her pace. She was angry with herself for doing anything with Nathan. Jay nearly fell out of the door trying to get his converses on properly. He then ran down the street after her. He caught up with her just before she turned right to go down the next street. “Do you want to talk about it?” Jay asked her, keeping her pace. Millie ignored him. Jay stood in front of her, stopping her from walking. She looked up at him. Jay noticed she looked sad and sort of upset with something. He cupped her face with his hands and kissed her forehead. He pulled her in for a hug, resting his chin comfortably on her head.

“I’m so angry with myself,” she mumbled. Jay didn’t hear what she said so bent down slightly so they were eye level. Millie didn’t want to repeat herself. That would mean she’d have to explain why and she didn’t particularly want to say what had happened between her and Nathan the morning before. Jay didn’t let go of his grip and didn’t change his facial expression to let it go. Millie broke contact before saying “I’m so angry with myself.” She quickly flashed her eyes to meet Jay’s before darting them away again.

“What’s the matter?” Jay asked, putting his arm around her shoulders. They continued to walk. Millie fought with herself as to say what happened without saying it was Nathan. Before Millie had managed to find a way with her words, they’d reached the small park near the house. Jay guided Millie over to one of the benches and sat themselves down. Millie sighed as she played with the bracelets on her wrist. Jay watched her.

“I’m going to be vague and you’re not to tell anybody anything,” Millie suddenly said. It was barely loud enough for Jay to hear but he understood. Millie looked up to him. Jay moved his hand to her hair and pushed it behind her ear. She swallowed any saliva in her mouth before saying anything more. “I’m angry with myself because I let something happen to me when it shouldn’t have happened at all.” Millie finished speaking. Jay looked confused. She said she was going to be vague but he didn’t think it would be this vague.

“Right,” Jay spoke. He turned on the bench so he was facing forward. “You weren’t joking when you said you were going to be vague.”

“Well, I can’t put you in danger,” Millie smirked.

“Danger?” Jay chuckled. “How could you put me in danger by saying that?”

“If I told you everything, my brother would torture you until you told him everything.” Millie looked up at Jay. He was now grinning and shaking his head. He could just imagine Tom asking him question after question about Millie. Millie rolled her eyes at Jay. She playfully elbowed him in the ribs.

  31. Tom’s too overprotective

“Help me get your sister,” Nathan asked as he saw Tom standing at the front door. “For pouring freezing cold water on me.” Tom gave him an unimpressed look still. “Please.” Nathan whined, pulling his fly-impression face.

“Fine,” Tom grunted and made his way past Nathan and into the hallway. “Where is Mils?” Tom stuck his head in the living room. No Millie. He went into the kitchen. No Millie. He headed upstairs and looked in every room but couldn’t see her. Nathan followed him and stood at the top of the stairs.

“I’m guessing she and Jay went out somewhere?” Nathan asked. He turned back to go downstairs.

“You don’t know where Millie is?” Tom asked. Worry started to take over him. He pulled his phone out of his back pocket and held down M to dial Millie’s number. He placed the phone to his ear but heard her phone ringing from her room. He ran in and picked her phone up from the side. Tom rushed downstairs to Nathan. “When did you last see her?” Tom urged. Panic was running through his body. Adrenaline started to pulse through his veins. “Nathan, when did you last see her?”

“This morning,” Nathan replied. “Did you call her?”

“Yes, but she’s left her phone here.” Tom chucked Millie’s phone to Nathan. “Where the fuck is she?”

“Have you tried calling Jay?” Nathan asked, trying to calm Tom down.

Tom mumbled Jay’s name as he tried to find Jay’s number in his phone. He pressed the call button and held it to his ear. Jay and Millie were still on the bench. They hadn’t said anything else to each other before Jay’s phone started ringing. Jay pulled it out of his pocket and saw Tom’s face appear on the screen.

“Hey, Tom,” Jay answered. Jay rubbed his thumb against Millie’s cheek.

“Please tell me you know where Millie is,” Tom rushed down the phone.

“Yeah, she’s right here. What’s up?” Jay asked. He sat up properly. Millie became alert when she heard Tom’s voice from the phone. She grabbed Jay’s phone from his hand and held it against her ear.

“Tom?” Millie asked.

“Don’t you ever leave your phone at home again,” Tom shouted down the phone. “You had me fucking worried.”

“Tom you really need to calm down,” Millie was trying to calm him down. “Look, we’ll be home in a few minutes okay?” Tom mumbled something in reply before hanging up his end.

  32. They’re being ridiculous

As soon as Millie walked through that front door, Tom wrapped his arms around her. He refused to let go. “Don’t you dare do that to me again, Millicent!” He warned in her ear. He then kissed her forehead and stroked the back of her head. Jay came through the door behind them. He had to squeeze past as Tom wouldn’t budge and wouldn’t let Millie budge either.

“Tom you need to stop worrying every two seconds,” Millie said into Tom’s ear. “I stormed out of the house. Look at what I’m dressed in.” Tom dropped his arms from Millie’s shoulders and took a step backwards. Millie was dressed in some leggings, denim shorts and one of Jay’s tops that was too big for her. This was the sort of attire that said that Millie was planning to spend the day in her bedroom either reading or blogging. “Grabbing my phone or keys or telling someone I was going out for a walk was the last thing I was thinking about.”

“Well, can you make it the first thing you think about in future?” Tom asked, pulling Millie in for a hug again.

Millie rolled her eyes and pulled out of the hug. She pushed her way into the living room and sat down on the beanbag between the two sofas. Nathan had a United match on the screen. He was getting really into it. Tom came in and stood in front of Millie, blocking Nathan’s view of the TV screen. Nathan started mouthing off to Tom to move but Tom didn’t budge.

“Millie! Are you going to listen to me?” Tom asked. He was gesturing wildly with his arms and hands. Nathan was still trying to get Tom to move.

“Yes,” Millie yelled. “Yes, I’m fucking listening to you!” Millie stood up from the beanbag. “Stop being so fucking worried. What do you want me to say? Sorry I got drunk? Sorry I danced with a guy? Sorry I kissed a guy? Sorry I was too scared to fight back? Sorry that he was a lot bigger than me, a lot stronger than me?” Millie shoved Tom out of the way. “I’m sorry, Tom. I. Am. Sorry. I’m sorry I drank too much. I’m sorry I let these too morons,” Millie pointed at Jay and Nathan, “out of my sight. I’m sorry I kissed a guy and danced with him. I’m sorry for thinking of any ‘un-pure’ thoughts. I’m sorry I like guys and like doing stuff with them.” Millie saw Nathan take his eyes off the TV screen and look at her. “I like sex, Tom. Your little sister likes having sex. With guys. A lot. Actually, I’m not sorry for that.”

Tom couldn’t help but smile. He and Millie were too similar. Tom started to laugh at how ridiculous this argument between them was. It would still be in the back of Tom’s head. It was his worst fear; losing Millie. Whether it would be by someone taking her or if she died. Seeing Tom laugh made Millie smile at how ridiculous they were being. She started to laugh slightly too. Tom put his arms around her and managed to get her on the floor. They started to play fight like when Tom still lived at home.

“Mate,” Nathan complained, turning his attention back to the United match against Liverpool. “Not while United’s playing.” Tom and Millie ignored him.

  33. Potter Parker

Nathan thought about how to get Millie back for flushing the toilet while he was in the shower. All he could think of was stuff that was too harsh or stuff that was too basic. Expectable. Nathan sat on his bed thinking about it for a very long time. Jay came in to see if he was alright. Jay was good at pranking people; mainly Martin. But he was still good at pulling the pranks.

“Fancy helping me get Millie?” Nathan asked Jay. Jay’s face lit up.

“You going to get her back for the whole shower thing?” Jay asked and jumped onto Nathan’s bed. Jay sat cross-legged by Nathan’s pillows. Nathan nodded, still trying to think of an idea. “Well, you have to get her back just a tad higher than even. It wouldn’t be fair to go all out on her.”

Nathan and Jay brainstormed a few ideas before they came up with one that was best suited for Millie at the moment. There was waking her up with Nathan’s snake which Nathan pictured a different snake to the one Jay was picturing. There was chucking ice cold water onto her to wake her up quickly followed by flour. The third and final option was to set off cracking stones in her room. They made their plans before Nathan set off for the afternoon to spend with Ashley at her flat.

Jay knocked on Millie’s door. She was dressed in some trackies and Jay’s Guinness top. She had Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire in her hands, her face intense with reading through the book. Jay sat on the bed next to her. She placed her bookmark in the book and placed it on the end of her bed. She sat up and smiled at Jay.

“Yeah, Bird?” She asked, expecting a reason as to why he interrupted her Harry Potter reading.

“Just wanted to hang out,” Jay said and leaned back on Millie’s fluffy pillows. Millie grabbed one of the pillows he wasn’t laying on and hit him in the stomach with it.

“Let me be with Harry then,” she giggled as she hit him again.

Jay grabbed the pillow and chucked it somewhere on the floor. Millie went to grab another pillow. Jay grabbed her wrists just as her fingers gripped the next pillow to be hit against Jay. Millie’s heart rate shot through the roof. Jay could feel her pulse on her wrist. He found it hard to let go of her wrists, to not pull her on top of him so he could kiss her.

“Out!” Millie demanded. She tried to hide her giggles but didn’t do a very good job. “Leave me to be with Harry and his friends.”

Jay chuckled and sat up. He pulled her into him; enveloping her into a hug. He kissed her cheek. “Fine,” he whispered into her ear. He stood up, still encasing her in his bear hug. She pulled her knees up to her as Jay carried her downstairs. They both laughed as he did so.

  34. Nathan gets his own back

“You’re not going to chicken out, are ya?” Nathan asked as they stood at Millie’s bedroom door. Millie was still asleep in bed. Nathan and Jay had woken up earlier so they could get her.

“No,” Jay said. “It’ll be fun!” Jay started to look like he was vibrating with excitement.

“But you think of her as your girlfriend. Won’t you feel guilty?” Nathan teased. Nathan wore a smirk on his face as he said it. Jay threw Nathan a dirty look.

“I do not think of her like that,” Jay snarled. “She’s Tom’s sister and just a friend.”

Nathan smirked. He knew Jay liked her more than that. Jay hid his true feelings in that moment. Nathan didn’t know how much Jay liked Millie. He only knew he liked her a bit more than as Tom’s sister. But what made it weird or strange for Nathan was that he wanted to kiss her again; to run his hands along her body and through her hair. The only thing Nathan wanted was Millie between the sheets. Jay wanted her. Just her. He wanted to hold her, joke around with her, talk about everything and nothing with her. He wanted to be with her.

“Come on,” Jay mumbled, trying to push all the thoughts he was having about Millie out of his head. “Let’s just get her.”

“Yeah,” Nathan said. His voice cracked slightly. He too was trying to push the thought of Millie out of his head. “On three, we open the door and start throwing them at the wall and floor.”

Nathan mouthed one, two and on three, they opened the door wide open. Nathan and Jay had a large bag of cracking stones in their hands; reaching in and grabbing ten at a time and throwing them against the wooden floor so they exploded. Millie jerked awake and screamed as she heard the little pockets of the cracking stones exploding. She buried her face in her pillows and screamed. She lifted her head once the boys had paused throwing them for a minute. The boys were in tears of laughter. Millie was just annoyed. She climbed out of bed and made her way towards them until they started throwing them again. She ran back to her bed – screaming – and hid under the duvet. Nathan and Jay stopped throwing the cracking stones after a minute of her hiding under her duvet.

“Mils,” Jay said as he walked over to her bed. “We’re going to the studio now, okay?” Millie mumbled something that was inaudible to both Jay and Nathan. “Kelsey’s going to be over in a bit to keep you company.”

“Basically, to babysit me!” Millie said. She poked her head out from under the duvet. Jay laughed at this sight. She looked like a turtle or tortoise. “I’m going to get you back for this,” she shouted to Nathan. He was still wetting himself out on the landing. She faced Jay. “And you! Joining in! Well, I kinda expected that.” She smiled. The cute little Parker smile. Millie stuck her tongue out at Jay which caused him to smile with her. “Have fun in the studio. Now, let me sleep.” She winked at Jay before sticking her head back under the duvet. Jay watched as she moved around under the duvet and placed her head on her pillow.

  35. Flour bombing

Nathan and Jay were due home any minute. “They’re going to be furious with us, Kels,” Millie said. Kelsey was such a bad influence on Millie.

“Yeah, your brother had one of his tantrums when I did this to him once,” Kelsey giggled. “He survived.” She looked at Millie and cheekily winked.

They both heard Jay’s car pull up. They looked out of Jay’s window, peering slightly at the bottom so they wouldn’t be caught. Nathan was first to climb out of the car and shut the door. Millie stood up and chucked the flour bomb out of the window at him. It hit his thigh and exploded over him, covering his legs in flour. He looked up as Kelsey threw one and it hit his shoulder. Flour hit Jay’s car behind him and some landed on his face. Jay stepped out of his car as Millie bent down to pick up another two flour bombs. Jay locked his car and faced Nathan as the next flour bomb Kelsey threw landed on Jay’s head. Millie chucked one in Nathan’s direction and the other in Jay’s.

They were completely helpless against the girls’ accurate aiming. A couple of Kelsey’s aims hit Jay’s car accidentally. After a minute or so, the girls grabbed the last couple of flour bombs each and headed for the back garden. Jay and Nathan headed straight there when they saw the girls disappear from the window. The boys ran around the house whilst the girls ran through it. The girls were cut off at the back door in the kitchen. Millie stared Jay down with a menacing look in her eye. He was covered in flour. Millie unlocked the back door and threw it open as she threw a flour bomb at his chest. It exploded creating a slight mist in which Jay and Nathan became outlines.

Jay managed to get Millie’s last flour bomb out of her hand. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her outside, lifting her off her feet. He placed Millie back down in the back garden. Some of the flour from his body had transferred onto her clothing. She covered her face as she saw him throw the flour bomb at her. It completely missed. Millie laughed but was cut off by the two bombs Kelsey had. Nathan had managed to get them off her. One hit Millie in the stomach and the other hit her left arm. Jay lifted Millie off her feet again and got her on the ground. He started to rub more of the flour on him onto her. She couldn’t stop giggling at him as he started to tickle her. There was a cough from the back door where Tom was standing with Siva and Max.

                                                                                                                             36. Drunk again

“Millie, look at me,” Tom ordered. He grabbed her chin and made her look into his eyes. “Don’t leave any of us tonight, okay?” Tom repeated. He’d already given her the talk in the taxi to the club. And at home. She didn’t want to hear it again. Millie rolled her eyes and pushed past Tom to get into the club, not even being asked for ID. She paid the entrance fee and made a beeline to the bar. Four shots of tequila and a Carlsberg later and Tom had found her. “What did I just say?” Tom yelled above the music.

“Don’t leave any of you tonight,” Millie yelled back. She drained the bottle and asked for another one. Tom asked for a bottle and paid for both. “I was going into the same place as you, so technically, I wasn’t leaving you.” She jumped down from the bar stool and made her way to the dance floor. She immediately found Nathan and Jay standing at the edge. She handed Nathan her drink and dragged them both onto the dance floor where Max, Siva, Jade and Kelsey were dancing.

Kelsey reached behind the three of them and grabbed Tom, pulling him close to her and kissing his lips. Millie took her drink back off Nathan and drained the entire bottle in one. She placed it on the ledge they were stood near and started to dance with Nathan. Nathan had had a few shots and a couple of jagerbombs. He wasn’t feeling sober in the slightest. Millie didn’t feel drunk though. She grabbed Nathan’s hand, showed it to Tom – who wasn’t paying the slightest bit of attention now – and walked back to the bar. Nathan sat down on the bar stool as Millie ordered herself five shots of Sambucca this time. She did them in quick procession before ordering a bottle of Strongbow this time. Nathan turned Millie to face him. Her throat burned from the Sambucca shots so she swigged the Strongbow to cool the burning.

“You know,” Nathan said into Millie’s ear. “These will be in here for a few more hours.” He nibbled her ear lobe lightly. “We could go back to ours.” His hands snaked around her waist and up her back.

“Let’s dance for a bit,” Millie said and pulled him towards the dance floor. She didn’t pull him back to the area the others were in. Tom would flip if he saw Nathan and Millie dancing like he and Kelsey did.

They danced together for a few songs. Nathan’s hips swayed to the music and to the same rhythm as Millie’s. Nathan planted a kiss on her shoulder, her neck, her jaw, her cheek before turning her around in his arms and kissed her on the lips. All Millie could think about was how she wanted Nathan in bed. Ever since the moment in the kitchen a couple of weeks ago, she couldn’t think of anything but having him between her legs; fulfilling every need she craved. Millie pushed herself against him as they kissed. Nathan couldn’t handle a second more of it. He grabbed her hand and took her out of the club. They climbed in a taxi as he sent a text to both Jay and Tom.

Nathan: Millie’s very drunk. I’m taking her home and keeping an eye on her. :)

  37. Surrender to the crave

As soon as Nathan and Millie were in the house, they were back on each other. The paps were outside the club and a couple had followed them back to the house. They acted friendly towards each other in front of the cameras, but there were no sexual touching or kissing going on between them. The front door was closed and Nathan pushed Millie against the hallway wall. She dropped her bag to the floor and kicked her shoes off. Nathan kicked his shoes off as he started to kiss her neck. He lifted her up so that she wrapped her legs around his waist.

Nathan carried Millie up to his room and laid her on the bed. He unbuttoned her shorts and pulled them down past her ankles and threw them on the floor. He kissed his way up her legs, from the ankle until he reached about two inches from the top of her thigh. He pulled himself up to her face and kissed her on the lips again. Their tongues explored each other’s mouths. Millie rolled Nathan over and unbuckled his trousers, sliding them down his legs and onto the floor. She ripped his top off and chucked it behind her. She straddled him as he sat upwards. He slowly, teasingly lifted her top up and over her head, kissing the skin that appeared underneath the top as he raised it. He flipped her over so she was on the bed this time.

Nathan laid next to Millie, looking at her. He ran his right hand over her body, lightly touching the area of her underwear where her clit would be. Millie bit her lip as Nathan put a bit more pressure as he moved his hand. He slid his fingers down into her underwear, locating her clit and rolling it between his fingers. She gasped as he touched her. He kissed her jaw line as he unhooked her bra with his left hand and tossed it to the floor. He kissed down her body until he reached her underwear. With one fluid movement he pulled them down her legs and chucked them off the bed. He still was rubbing her clit but was now teasing her by kissing the top of her thigh. He slid his fingers into her and heard her moan as he moved them in and out. He chuckled as he listened to her moans.

Millie loved the feeling of Nathan on her. She loved how he knew what buttons to press on her. How he moved his fingers in her. How he moved his tongue across her clit. She felt him shuffle about at the bottom of the bed, finding out he’d taken his boxers off. He moved back up her body and kissed her again. “Are you sure you want to do this?” He purred into her ear, sucking on her earlobe which made her want him more. She moaned and nodded her head.

“More than anything right now,” she whispered back. She was drunk on alcohol and horniness. She needed Nathan in her more than any other single thing in the world. Nathan reached over to his bedside drawer. “We don’t need that.” Millie said and he retreated back to her. He hovered his face above hers. He pulled a questioning look. “I’m clean. You’re clean?” Millie asked. Nathan nodded and kissed her lips. “And I’m on the pill. It’s fine.”

Nathan smiled as he slid his whole length into her. She gasped and clung onto his neck and shoulder as he did so. Nathan pulled out slowly before thrusting himself in and out of Millie. She moaned and smiled as he did so, matching her hip movement to his. Millie could feel every inch of him as he thrust into her. She was glad she danced with Nathan. She was glad she dragged him off to the bar. She was glad he gave her a taste of what he could do a couple of weeks ago. Nathan suddenly stopped and pulled out of her, pulling the duvet to cover himself.

                                                                                                                                                                            38. Mithan isn’t happening

Nathan held his head in his hands. Millie was so close to her climax when he pulled out. It took her a couple of seconds to calm down before she sat up and sat next to Nathan. “What’s the matter?” Millie asked, placing a hand on his back. He recoiled at her touch.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” Nathan said. He grabbed his trousers from the floor and shoved them on; not caring that they were on inside-out. Millie felt hurt. No guy had ever stopped half way through or near the end.

“What?” Millie asked. She pulled the duvet over herself. No matter how many times a guy can see you naked, the first instinct for a girl is to cover herself when there is no foreplay or sex being carried out.

“I shouldn’t be doing any of this with you, Mils,” Nathan said. He sat back down next to Millie on the bed. “You’re Tom’s little sister and no matter how much we both want each other, we can’t be doing this. He’d kill me. And I see how you look at Jay.” Millie met Nathan’s eyes. “And you know you like Jay too.” Nathan couldn’t take his eyes off her though. Nathan could feel himself being reeled into her. Millie could feel herself leaning into Nathan too. He pushed his lips into hers but this time, it was with more feeling than just the sexual tension between them.

Millie pulled away from Nathan’s kiss slightly. “I can’t go on without knowing,” she started. “Does Jay like me too?” Nathan pulled away. He didn’t know whether to lie and take Millie for himself – even if he only wanted her for the night – or whether to tell her the truth and only half experience her. So he met it half way.

“I don’t know,” Nathan said and lightly kissed her lips again. Millie bit her lip as Nathan pulled away. She was confused on what to do. On the one hand, Nathan was the cause of her sexual frustration but Jay, Jay was someone else. Jay was the guy she could chat to about anything. She could muck around with Jay and have fun.

  39. Jay’s drunk again

Millie opened the door to Nathan’s room to let herself out. But before she could step out of his room, Nathan had wrapped his arm around Millie’s waist and turned her around to face him. He smiled at her before planting the last kiss on her lips. Millie teasingly pushed Nathan away as she pulled out of the kiss. She walked backwards – keeping eye contact with Nathan – towards her room. She winked at Nathan as she closed the door. With the door closed she didn’t know what to do with herself. Her phone was downstairs in her bag and she couldn’t bring herself to walk past Nathan’s room. She climbed into bed and allowed herself to cry silently into her pillows.

Millie couldn’t fall asleep. She tossed and turned but couldn’t drift off. Around 3.30am, the front door slammed open and Jay stumbled into the hallway. Millie quickly shoved some trackies and a top on. She made her way downstairs to find Jay laying on the sofa, giggling to himself. Millie giggled at the sight of him and crouched beside him.

“Is someone a bit drunk?” She asked, trying not to laugh too loudly. Jay grinned at Millie.

“Someone’s sobered up a bit,” Jay whispered and closed his eyes to make the room stop spinning. At the club, Max and Tom were trying to get Jay to go home with someone. Max knows how Jay feels about Millie and he knew that if there was a drunk Jay and a drunk Millie, something good would not come out of it. “Come here,” Jay said and pulled Millie onto him. Millie let out a whispered version of a scream escape her mouth.

“Jay,” she whispered. Jay turned onto his side so they both fitted comfortably onto the sofa. Jay wrapped his arms around Millie and pulled her into him. “We should get you to bed,” Millie giggled into his chest. She could still smell his cologne. She didn’t move from his arms. In fact, they both fell asleep.

  40. Millie confesses, she thinks

“Tom,” Millie was sitting in Tom’s flat. Kelsey was out somewhere but Millie wasn’t quite sure where. “I slept with Nathan.” Tom’s face turned completely red. Millie could tell he was angry.

“What?” Tom asked. He rose out of his chair and appeared to have drifted over to his flat front door. “I am going to fucking kill him.” Tom was yelling as he headed out of the flat.

Millie tried to chase after him but felt like she was running in slow motion. She found it odd that she managed to get to Jay and Nathan’s house as quick as she had though. She ran into the house and up to Nathan’s room.

“Nathan,” she yelled as she ran into his room. Nathan was passed out on his bed. She tried to wake him but he wouldn’t. She tried to lift him but it was like lifting dead weight. She managed to turn him over but it was Jay. Jay sat up and pulled a disgusted face at Millie.

“How could you have sex with Nathan?” Jay asked. He shoved Millie into the chest of drawers as he made his way onto the landing.

“How do you know?” Millie asked, regaining her balance after being knocked over.

“Nathan’s been telling everyone that he’s screwed you,” Jay cried. “He’s been telling me over and over again. No wonder Tom killed him. Who wants to listen to someone talking about their little sister like that?” Jay disappeared downstairs. He stopped on the bottom stair. “I love you, Millie. But I could never be with you after knowing you had any kind of relationship like that with Nathan; even if I know it can’t happen again.”

“Nathan’s not dead!” Millie said, sternly. “I left Tom about five minutes ago and he only said just then that he was going to kill Nathan.”

Jay laughed. The tears were gone from his eyes. There were no markings of the tears on his face. No bloodshot eyes. No tear stains down his cheeks. No puffiness around his eyes. No sign whatsoever. “Tom killed Nathan six months ago.” Jay kept laughing. “You went to his funeral. You were one of five people who showed up.” Millie didn’t remember any of this.

“Nathan’s not dead!” She screamed. Tears started to pour down her face. “He can’t be dead!” She hadn’t noticed she had made her way down the stairs. Jay still had an evil smirk on his face as Millie sat down on the bottom stair next to Jay’s feet. She couldn’t stop crying. “Where’s Tom?”

“He was killed for killing Nathan,” Jay smiled. He seemed happy that Tom was dead too. He laughed and then noticed how upset Millie was. He picked Millie up and carried her into the kitchen. Jay laid down on the floor with Millie laying on top of him. She cried into his chest as he ran his fingers through her hair to comfort her.

Millie stopped crying and looked up to Jay’s face. However, it wasn’t Jay looking back at her. The green eyes didn’t belong to Jay; they belonged to Nathan. “I love you, Mils,” Nathan whispered. “I didn’t want to. I thought sleeping with you would make me get rid of the feeling inside of me but it strengthened it. I don’t want to see you with Jay. I can’t. Please, Millie.” Nathan looked like he was on the verge of tears. Millie pulled herself up so they were eye level and leaned down to kiss him.

Millie woke up before their lips touched. She was in Nathan’s bed. ‘How the fuck did that happen?’ she asked herself.

  41. The morning after

Nathan woke up to Millie sleepwalking into his room. She was mumbling and he was completely confused as to what was happening. She pulled the duvet back and climbed into bed. She didn’t pull the duvet back over herself though. Nathan pulled the duvet around them. Millie started to mumble “Nathan’s not dead!” Nathan wrapped his arms around her. He whispered into her hair, “No I’m not dead.” She couldn’t hear him but he felt like he was calming her down. She seemed to settle more. Nathan let go of her and tried to get back to sleep. After five minutes of tossing and turning, he got out of bed and went downstairs. Jay stumbled in a few minutes later.

“Fancy sticking the kettle on, Nath?” Jay asked as he took a seat on one of the chairs. Nathan filled the kettle up and flicked it on. “Do you know what time I got in?” Jay was rubbing his eyes. He had the ‘crusty-eyed’ feeling as he usually had after any type of sleeping or napping.

“I have no clue,” Nathan said as the kettle boiled and he made the two of them tea. “I was asleep by then.” Nathan wanted to move onto a different subject that didn’t involve the night before; or by the time Nathan and Millie got home, it was that morning.

“I think Millie fell asleep with me on the sofa down here. But she wasn’t there when I woke up.” Jay pulled a confused face, pulling his mouth to one side slightly. Nathan had no clue about this. He thought she’d gone straight to bed and fallen asleep.

“She’s in my bed now,” Nathan said, staring into his mug at his tea. “I think she was having a bad dream or nightmare.” Jay sat up a bit in his seat. “She was a bit restless.”

“Is she alright now?” Jay asked.

“Yeah, she’s sound now,” Nathan said. He really didn’t want Millie to come up in anymore conversation. “Is anything happening today; like, recording or rehearsing or anything?”

“A rare day off today,” Jay shrugged. “Why did Millie go into your room?” Jay was a bit suspicious that Millie chose to go into Nathan’s bed. He thought that she’d go into her own bed or into Jay’s bed. Not Nathan’s.

“She was sleepwalking,” Nathan said. He was confused as to why Millie had chosen his bed. He wasn’t going to mention the mumbling she was doing.

They both heard the top stair creak and a few moments later Millie appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. “I was in your bed?” Millie asked Nathan.

“You sleepwalked into my room and threw the covers back and crawled in,” Nathan chuckled. “You didn’t pull the covers back over us though.”

“Sorry, I had the weirdest dream.” Millie made herself a cup of tea without further explanation. She took herself into the living room where Nathan and Jay followed.

“Explain?” Jay asked and sat himself next to her. Nathan sat on the opposite sofa. Millie avoided eye contact with both of them and shook her head.

  42. Jay wants to know

“What’s happened between you and Millie?” Jay asked Nathan. Jay had noticed that Millie and Nathan hadn’t spoken to each other since the morning of the last night they went out. The night that Millie and Nathan had left early. Something must have happened that night while they were both drunk. Jay’s mind wandered and he thought of the worst thing that could have happened. He didn’t want it to be true but that’s the only reason he could see for why they didn’t talk.

“Nothing, mate,” Nathan pulled his eyebrows together. He tried to act confused but inside he was petrified. He turned back to pay attention to the TV.

“You two haven’t talked for over a week. Something must’ve happened that night you two left early.” Jay was going to keep pushing for an answer.

Jay was pretty drunk that night but he could’ve sworn he’d seen Millie and Nathan dancing closely together. Not just ordinary dancing together like they did as friends; it seemed more intimate. He thought he saw Nathan kissing Millie’s neck and then turning her around to kiss her on the lips. It could have been because they were both drunk and Millie wasn’t aware of what she was doing but there was something about the way she was smiling at him that made Jay think that she knew exactly what she was doing. They disappeared from view which was when Jay received a text from Nathan to say that Millie was quite drunk so he was taking her home.

“She’s been busy at work, hasn’t she?” Nathan said with a shrug. He clearly wanted to drop the subject but Jay wanted to keep pushing for an answer.

“Nath, you know you can tell me,” Jay pushed. Nathan was starting to get annoyed with Jay for pushing to know. “I’m your best mate.”

“Just leave it, alright?” Nathan asked. He angrily stood up and went out into the hall as Millie came home from work. He glanced over to Millie as she hung her keys up by the door. He stormed off to his room without saying a word. A minute or so later, Millie and Jay both heard Nathan playing his keyboard in his room.

“What’s up with Nath?” Millie asked as she sat down next to Jay. She leant towards the coffee table and took a sip of Jay’s beer.

“What happened between the two of you?” Jay asked, wrapping his arm around Millie. “What happened between you last week?”

“I’m not completely sure,” Millie lied. She was still drunk when her and Nathan had got back but she remembered every detail. “I think he kept questioning me about stuff and – me being drunk – I got pissed off with the constant interrogation he was going through.”

“Do you know what he was asking about?” Jay asked. At least he felt he was getting somewhere with Millie. He was completely unaware that she was lying.

“Honestly,” or not honestly, “I don’t remember. Sorry, Bird.” She took a few more swigs of Jay’s beer. “But I’m going to go and have a shower as I stink. See you in a bit, Bird.” Millie stood up from the sofa and made her way to the bathroom.

  43. Something’s changed

Once Millie was showered and dressed, she knocked on Nathan’s door. He was still playing the keyboard. She heard him start playing Warzone. That song meant a lot to him and she knew he didn’t play it that often anymore; only when he was very angry or upset. She knocked a little louder but he still didn’t respond. Instead, she let herself into his room. He looked up as she walked in and his face softened. He put the keyboard on the floor as Millie climbed onto his bed next to him.

“You haven’t seen Ashley lately,” Millie said. She didn’t want to get comfy as she wasn’t planning on staying in there long.

Nathan bit the inside of his cheek. “She’s been busy,” Nathan mumbled. “And when she hasn’t been busy, I’ve not really been in the mood.”

“You’re sounding like a girl,” Millie chuckled. “You do realise that, don’t ya?” Nathan let a small smile appear on his face. He looked up at Millie and saw she was smiling, which made his smile grow a little bigger.

“Shut up, Mils,” Nathan laughed. Nathan wanted to talk about that night to Millie but they were never alone. Even now, he wanted to talk but Jay could walk up the stairs at any second and hear the whole conversation.

“Should I shove some actual clothes on and we go for a walk?” Millie suggested. She wanted to have a chat about that night too but she was swamped with hours for work lately. The lads had been doing various gigs and recording lately too.

Nathan looked up to Millie again and nodded his head. Millie nodded her head once to acknowledge his head nod and went back to her room. She pulled her pj shorts and top off and replaced them for some long shorts, a tank top and her ‘The Code’ hoody. She slipped on a pair of Tom’s old converses from when he was 14 and a size 7. Millie and Nathan both made their way downstairs. But Millie was the one to poke her head into the living room.

“Me and Nath are just going out for a chat, alright?” Millie asked Jay. Jay looked slightly shocked by this.

“Yeah, alright,” Jay said casually. “You got your phone? Just in case your brother starts to flip out again.” Jay and Millie both laughed. Millie nodded and waved bye to Jay. Jay heard the front door shut. “They don’t talk for a week and now they’re having walks in the evening together. Something is going on,” he mumbled to himself.

  44. Not in the mood

“Why haven’t you been in the mood for Ashley?” Millie asked. Nathan had his left hand by his side and his right hand in his hoody pocket. He was wearing his beanie tonight with his fringe hanging out the front. Millie held her hands by her sides. She didn’t know what to do with them. Her right hand kept bumping against Nathan’s free left hand. After a few times of her hand hitting Nathan’s, she put both of her hands into her hoody pockets.

“I think you know exactly why I haven’t been in the mood for her,” Nathan said. He could feel his cheeks flushing with colour. Thankfully, it was dark by now and Millie couldn’t see his cheeks changing colour.

“You know Jay thinks something has happened between us.” Millie dragged her feet along the pavement a bit, scuffing Tom’s converses up. “I’m guessing he’s thinking of the worst thing to happen.”

“Which is what happened.” Nathan stopped walking. He turned to face Millie. “What is this between us?” Nathan couldn’t believe he just asked that. He’d turned into such a girl lately.

“What?” Millie asked. She tried to hold back the laughter behind the question. “This was supposed to be a drunken mistake.” Nathan sighed. He knew it was supposed to be but him stopping when he did made it more than a drunken one night stand. “You know last week when I ended up in your bed after sleepwalking into your room?” Millie didn’t want to say this but she felt like she needed too.

“Yeah, I guess you were having a bad dream about me.” Nathan met Millie’s eyes. She pulled a questioning look on her face. Nathan smiled slightly. “You were mumbling in your sleep.” Millie scrunched up her face in embarrassment.

“Oh God, what was I mumbling?” She asked. She had her eyes closed and didn’t want to open them. She knew she’d be met by Nathan’s eyes.

“Nathan’s not dead,” Nathan chuckled. Millie sucked her bottom lip. Tears started to sting her eyes. Nathan realised she looked upset and pulled her in towards her. “I’m sorry. I know it shouldn’t be funny but ...” Nathan trailed off with his sentence. Millie was quietly sobbing into his neck.

“It was horrible, Nath,” she cried. She had one arm around his neck and the other resting against his chest. “I told Tom about us and then he killed you and then he was killed for killing you and I was six months too late to save you and Jay was crying because he knew that we slept together and then he was laughing because you were dead and then he tried to make me feel better and then he turned into you and we were about to kiss when I woke up in your bed alone.” Nathan tightened his arms around Millie. She could still remember every detail of that nightmare. She’d had it every night since; playing over and over again as she tried to sleep. “I can’t get rid of the images of it. I never saw you dead in my dream but I saw the back of you on your bed. But every time I turn you over, you turn into Jay. Whenever I close my eyes, even if it’s while I’m in the shower, all I can see is you dead.”

“Tom won’t find out, Mils,” Nathan whispered into her ear. This soothed her slightly. “He won’t kill me.” He bent down slightly and looked her in the eyes. They were glossy from the tears. She did look genuinely upset and scared. He rested his forehead against hers as he looked into her hazel eyes. He then realised that there could be paps around. “Sorry, I can’t, Mils,” he whispered as he pulled away.

“I know,” she said back and smiled weakly. This was killing both of them.

  45. Quiet night at the pub

Max and Nathan decided to buy a couple of rounds of drinks. Millie was sat next to Tom at the booth they were sat at. It was another night where it was all of them with the addition of Kelsey and Jade. Nathan had decided he was going to get Ashley out a bit later so she’d be with the group for a drink before they left. Millie saw – out of the corner of her eye – a guy who looked about her age, making eye contact with her. He smiled a throw-your-underwear-across-the-room kind of smile. Millie looked him up and down before looking away. This worked into intriguing him as a couple of minutes later, he came over and introduced himself.

“Hey,” he said. He stayed standing up so as not to intrude on the group. Jay watched his every move. Tom had turned around in his seat and stopped paying attention to Kelsey to see what this guy was going to do to his sister. “I’m Taylor,” Taylor said and offered his hand to Millie. Millie smiled at him.

“Millie,” she said and shook his hand. She raised her eyebrows as if to say ‘next?’

“Can I buy you a drink?” Taylor offered. Millie looked around to Tom. She stuck her bottom lip out in a pleading manner so she could have a drink with the pretty boy. Tom rolled his eyes and leaned into her.

“Stay in the pub,” he whispered into her ear. She grinned at him and nodded her head. She mouthed thank you as she stood up.

“I would love one,” Millie said. She smiled sweetly at Taylor who led her over to the bar. They found a table to themselves and started chatting.

Taylor was 23 and from London. He works as a fitness instructor at the Pure Fitness gym down the road from Jay and Nathan and lives on the street just along from their house too. Millie explained her situation; how she had to move away from Bolton but her brother – she pointed to Tom – wouldn’t let her move in but his two friends – she pointed at Nathan and Jay – let her move into their spare room.

“So, your brother is the one I’ve got to make an impression in front of,” Taylor asked and winked at Millie. Millie chuckled and agreed.

“Oh, and you should really try and get on the good side of Nathan and Jay too,” Millie laughed.

“Which one’s which?” Taylor asked and looked over in Nathan and Jay’s direction.

Millie pointed to Jay. “Jay’s the one with the curly hair and the tattoos up his arm.” Millie then pointed to Nathan. “Nathan’s the younger looking one with the fringe.”

“Right, I got it.” Taylor nodded. “Nathan’s got curly hair, Jay’s got the fringe.” Millie burst into a fit of giggles. She was a little bit tipsy.

“No,” she giggled. “The other way around.” She shook her head when he stuck his tongue out playfully.

Millie looked over to the lads table to see Nathan keeping a watchful eye on her. Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She took it out and saw the text was from Nathan.

Nathan: Everything alright? Xx

Millie looked up from her phone and exited the message. She looked over to Nathan and nodded her head. She grinned and turned back to Taylor. Taylor bought Millie another couple of drinks before he asked to walk her home.

  46. Walking home

“This is going to sound really lame but I kind of have to okay it with my brother,” Millie said. She winced as the words left her mouth.

“Ha-ha, okay,” Taylor said and kissed her cheek. “I’ll be waiting outside for you.” Taylor took Millie’s hand and helped her out of her seat. He was such a gentleman. He grinned at her before going outside. Millie saw him – through the glass of the door – pull a cigarette out of a packet in his jeans and light it. She didn’t mind guys smoking, she just preferred guys who didn’t smoke. But she admitted to herself, he was too pretty to give up on.

“Tommmmmm,” Millie sang as she bounced over to the lads, Kelsey and Jade. “Do you mind Taylor walking me home?” Millie opened her mouth slightly so she was grinning at him. Tom was debating this. He didn’t want her going home by herself. He wrinkled his nose slightly. “Please?” Millie begged.

“Only if Nathan or Jay walk slightly behind you,” Tom offered. Millie’s head dropped onto her chest. She let out a groan and pleaded with her eyes to Tom. She didn’t want to babysat by Nathan or Jay. “I’m not letting you walk home, with a guy we don’t know, by yourself.”

“Tom,” Millie moaned. “Just this once. I’ll text you to let you know when I’m back. Promise.” Millie stuck her bottom lip out. Tom rolled his eyes and looked towards Jay and Nathan. They quickly stopped paying attention.

“Fine, just this once,” Tom sighed. Millie squealed in excitement and kissed Tom on the cheek.

“Thank you, Pecker,” she squealed before saying bye to the rest of the group. She joined Taylor outside. “Shall we go?” She asked.

Taylor lightly took her hand in his. They both chatted on the walk home. They joked about and light-heartedly made fun on each other. In what seemed no time, they made it back to Nathan and Jay’s house. Millie stood on the front door step but still came to only just under Taylor’s eye level. He smiled at her and moved closer.

“I honestly can’t wait to see you again,” Taylor said. He was keeping his voice low. “Can I take you out to dinner on Friday night?” He moved his hand to her cheek, gently stroking it with his thumb.

“I might be working then,” Millie whispered. “I’ll let you know.” She smiled at the thought of what was coming next. Taylor was still coming closer towards her. His hand moved to the back of her neck as he gently pulled her towards him. Their lips touched for a few seconds. Taylor pulled away slowly and Millie bit her lip, trying to stop herself from smiling like a fool.

“I might see you Friday then,” Taylor whispered, lightly giving her another peck on the lips before pulling away from her. Millie stood on the front door step as she watched Taylor make his way down the garden path and in the direction of his house. She sighed before starting to look for her key to the house. She couldn’t find it anywhere in her bag.

“Lost your key, haven’t ya?” Nathan asked behind her. Millie turned around with an unimpressed look on her face. Nathan flashed his key, pushed it into the lock and opened the front door. Millie pushed the door completely open, kicked her shoes off and went up to her room.

  47. Seeing sense

Millie: I’m home. Thanks for sending a spy. :/ I’d consider getting a new one!

Nathan: Your stupid sister forgot her key. She’s home safe though :D

Nathan locked the front door and followed Millie upstairs. He knocked on her door before letting himself in. She’d taken her skirt and top off and was standing in front of him in just her underwear. “What do you want?” Millie asked, making no effort in to covering herself up. Nathan bit his lip as he looked at her, admiring her body. “Nathan, I’m speaking to you.” Millie chuckled. Nathan snapped out of his daze.

“Sorry,” he apologised and looked into her eyes. “Sorry if you think I was sent to spy on you or something.” Nathan didn’t continue. Millie stared at him as if she was expecting him to say something else. Nathan sighed and smiled at her. “You like him?”

“He’s nice,” Millie smiled, feeling her cheeks flush with colour but it doesn’t show on her. Nathan smiled, knowing she was thinking about the kiss. “Shut up, Sykes,” she laughed. “Anyway, I thought you weren’t coming home without Ashley tonight?” Nathan had completely forgotten about Ashley. He quickly pulled his phone back out of his pocket and text Ashley to come straight to the house instead of the pub.

“There’s something about him that I’m not sure about,” Nathan admitted as soon as his call with Ashley had ended. Nathan was a bit jealous of Taylor.

“Stop being jealous, Sykes,” Millie giggled. Nathan looked away from Millie and smiled. Millie wrapped her arms around Nathan’s waist. Nathan wrapped his arms around her shoulders and buried his face in her neck.

“If I can’t get it up for her, I’m blaming you,” Nathan chuckled into Millie’s neck. Millie burst into a fit of giggles. Nathan moved his arms lower to they were around her waist while Millie moved her arms so they were against his chest.

“If you’ll only get hard for me, just imagine Ashley as me then,” Millie chuckled. She was nearly tearing up from it.

Nathan tucked some of Millie’s hair behind her ear. Nathan moved this hand to the back of Millie’s neck and rubbed his nose around hers. Millie quickly realised what she was doing and pulled away from Nathan. She pulled on some leggings and her Bolton Wanderers t-shirt. It was in a couple of sizes too big but she only wore it to sleep in. She grabbed Marley and Me from her desk and headed down into the living room. Nathan was confused. He thought she wanted to kiss him as much as he wanted to kiss her. Millie couldn’t believe she was finding herself in situations like this with Nathan. She thought she liked Jay more out of the two. No, it was now about Taylor, not about either Jay or Nathan.

  48. Lyrical inspiration

Millie rushed out to Taylor. He kissed her on the cheek as she put her arms around his neck. He placed his hands gently on her waist. Jay came out of the kitchen, seeing the pair of them on the front door step. Taylor flashed a grin at Jay before Millie turned around and shut the front door. Jay huffed to himself.

“Sure,” he told himself. “Tom lets Millie go out on a date with a complete stranger but won’t let me make a move on her.” He huffed again and headed into the living room. He could see her head off through the net curtains. Jay slumped down on to the sofa and flicked the TV on. Friday night and nothing interesting was on.

Nathan was up in his room. He had his lyric notebook out and his keyboard beside him on his bed. He couldn’t stop writing since the night Millie met Taylor. He’d filled several pages with ideas for songs and possible lyrics to include in them. He’d been sitting on his bed for the whole day. He hadn’t spoken to Millie or Jay. Before he knew it, he heard the front door and heard Millie’s voice. He looked at his watch and noticed it was nearly midnight.

Millie invited Taylor in. She was debating whether to ask him to stay the night or not. If she did, Tom would hear and she would think of herself as a bit of a slag – sleeping with him on the first date. Millie took Taylor into the living room where Jay was still sitting. Jay smiled weakly as they entered. After a few minutes of them being sweet with each other and kissing every other second, he left and headed up to Nathan’s room.

“Alright?” Nathan asked as Jay entered his room. Jay sat down in Nathan’s desk chair and crossed his arms.

“Yeah,” Jay shrugged. He didn’t really want to say what was bothering him. “I thought I’d give Millie and him some privacy.” They both sat in an awkward silence for a bit. “What are you writing?” Jay asked, noticing Nathan’s lyric book was out. Nathan chucked the book to Jay and he flicked through it. “These are some powerful words, Nate.” Jay was noticing how they were all about the confused feelings a girl can make you feel. “I thought Ashley was just a ...” Jay trailed off. He could hear a faint moaning sound coming from downstairs. Nathan wondered why Jay stopped midsentence but then could hear it too. Jay felt like he was going to be sick. Nathan felt the same but felt he hid it well compared to Jay. “I’m going to go out,” Jay mumbled as he stood up from Nathan’s chair and headed out the room.

  49. Nathan’s more torn up than he thought

Millie’s dress was on the floor. Taylor’s shirt was on the floor next to it. His trousers were undone and Millie’s hand was playing with the waistband of his boxers. His hand was in her underwear, touching her and pleasing her. She couldn’t help but let out small moans as he moved her fingers in and out of her. She reached into his boxers and took a hold of his shaft. She started to slowly pump up and down, rubbing her thumb across the top every now and then. Taylor found her g-spot and pushed his fingers against it every time he moved his fingers into her.

Jay heard Millie reach the peak of her orgasm as he walked past the living room door. He heard it loud and clear as he hadn’t shut the door completely when he left them alone earlier. He felt his heart sink into the bottom of his stomach. It hurt to hear Millie with someone, to hear her being pleasured by someone that wasn’t him.

Nathan was sitting upstairs and he could hear Millie too. He pulled his iPod towards him and stuck his headphones on over his ears. He knew it shouldn’t hurt so much to hear Millie but it just reminded him of what he didn’t finish. He placed his keyboard on his desk and threw the lyric book on top of it. He laid down on his bed and turned his iPod on full. He wasn’t really listening to it though.

“Millie,” Taylor whispered. “Should we go up to your room?” Taylor tried to control himself. Millie bit her lip as she thought of what to do. Millie flicked her eyes from Taylor’s chest to his eyes. She slowed her pace on pumping her hand up and down his cock. Taylor was almost pleading to take her up to her room.

“How much do you want me?” She asked. She moved closer to him so her lips came to his neck.

He panted into her ear, “so badly.” Millie smiled as she kissed and nibbled his neck. She tilted her hear upwards so her lips were by his ear.

“Come on then,” she whispered.

Taylor lifted Millie up and took her up the stairs. She told him that her bedroom was at the back of the house. Taylor gently laid Millie down on her bed and started to kiss her stomach. He almost ripped her underwear off. He unclasped her bra and tossed it away from the bed. Millie helped him pull his trousers off. He pulled his boxers off and climbed on top of her. Millie pushed Taylor onto the bed and placed herself on top. She wasn’t going to take any risks with him.

  50. Accidental

Taylor had drifted off to sleep. Millie watched him sleeping. Something had to be wrong with him. He couldn’t be this lovely and pretty and not have something wrong with him. She lay there trying to think of anything that could be wrong. Her train of thought was disturbed by the sound of someone banging against the front door. She didn’t hear any other movement in the house so quickly shoved some clothes on and went to answer the front door. Jay was drunk, stinking of beer. He was sitting against the front door and fell backwards as Millie opened it. It was four in the morning and the birds were already up. Millie helped Jay up and helped him inside. She guided him into the living room and sat him on the sofa. She left him in there while she shut and locked the front door and poured a glass of water for him.

“Why do you get so drunk?” Millie asked, a slight giggle in her tone. She handed the glass of water to him as she kneeled down on the sofa.

Jay took a few sips of the water. He felt sick. Seeing her with her just-had-sex hair and the fact she had obviously just thrown some clothes on made him feel sick even more. He noticed the clothes that were on the floor; her dress that she went out on the date in and his shirt that he went out in. Millie was still watching Jay. She was concerned about him. He’s never been like this since she’d first met them when Tom joined the band. He never went out on his own and gotten so drunk he didn’t know how to function the front door. Millie was on her knees on the sofa beside Jay. She shuffled closer to him as he started to mumble to himself. She leant in and kissed his cheek.

“Let’s get you up to bed,” Millie said softly. That’s all he needed to do; sleep off the alcohol.

“I’ll sleep better if you’re sleeping next to me,” Jay slurred. Millie laughed until she saw that Jay wasn’t laughing too.

“I can’t tonight,” Millie apologised. “Taylor’s asleep in my bed so I can’t exactly ditch him to sleep in your bed, can I.” Jay pushed himself off the sofa and looked down at his feet.

“You slept with him?” Jay asked. He didn’t want to hear the answer but he kept his eyes on the floor in front of him.

“Erm, yeah,” Millie smiled.

“What?” Jay didn’t mean for this to slip out of his mouth but it was too late. Millie’s face turned into an expression of confusion.

  51. I wouldn’t have ...

“What do you mean ‘what’?” Millie asked. Jay was so angry at himself. If he could take anything back right now, he would take that back. Why did he let it slip out?

“Nothing,” Jay mumbled. “It doesn’t matter. It wasn’t meant to come out.” Jay went to leave the room past Millie but Millie stepped in front of him to stop him.

“Bird, explain,” Millie asked. She put a hand on his chest to stop him from leaving by pushing past her. Jay sighed and took her hand in his.

“I’m drunk and it doesn’t matter,” Jay sighed. “We’ll talk when I’m sober.” All Jay wanted to do was get into bed and pass out. He didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want to express anything to Millie. She was sleeping with Taylor and Jay didn’t want to get in the way of Millie being happy.

“Jay.” Millie wanted to talk to Jay. She couldn’t bear to see him going to bed upset or angry.

Jay’s POV

I hadn’t made a move to go to bed though. I still had a hold of her hand. I hesitantly let go of her hand but as soon as I did, I felt her move towards me and squeeze me between her arms. I rested my chin on her head. I rubbed her back out of comfort. I really didn’t want to pull away from her. I felt like a dick for even thinking this but I slightly wish that Tom had told her to go back home and not come down to London.  

I wouldn’t have had to save her from that guy who was trying to take her home.

I wouldn’t have started to like her.

I wouldn’t have shared a bed with her.

I wouldn’t have thought about kissing her.

I wouldn’t have held her (like I was holding her now).

I wouldn’t have fallen in love with her.

  52. The morning

“Last night was amazing,” Taylor smiled the next morning. Millie had spent most of the time that Taylor was sleeping, downstairs in the arms of Jay. She only came back upstairs when the stereo in the living room had read 7:30am. She didn’t know when Taylor would be waking up but didn’t think she could not be there when he woke up.

Millie smiled back at Taylor. “Yeah, it was,” she said. Taylor kissed her gently before he rolled out of bed. “Where are you going?” Millie asked. Taylor started to pull on his boxers and trousers.

“I’ve got work in a bit so I should go home, shower and get ready,” Taylor answered. He started to look around for his shirt. “Where’d my shirt go?”

“I took it off downstairs,” Millie shrugged. She climbed out of bed and left the room. Taylor grabbed his phone, keys and wallet from the floor where his trousers were and followed her as she made her way downstairs and into the living room. She picked up Taylor’s top and handed it back to him. He quickly put it on and kissed her again.

“I’ll text ya later, when I finish work,” he winked. Millie nodded her head.

Taylor walked out of the living room and opened the front door. Millie stood at the living room door as he left. She locked the door once he’d gone and sighed. She slid down the wall next to the door and rested her head on the top of her knees. She wasn’t sad, she wasn’t angry at herself; she just felt numb for some reason. She heard one of the boys’ doors open so she pushed herself up from the floor, headed into the kitchen and flicked the kettle on. She felt a pair of hands rest on her waist and a pair of lips kiss her shoulder.

“Morning,” Jay chirped. He seemed to be a bit too awake for someone who should have a hangover. Millie turned around and was lifted into a hug. She giggled before Jay put her back down on the floor. “What did you give me last night that made me not have a hangover?”

“Water,” Millie chuckled. “I don’t understand how you haven’t got a hangover when you only had one glass.”

Jay didn’t understand either but he shrugged it off. It could’ve been because Millie had spent as much time with him as she could before she felt like she had to go back to Taylor in her bed. “Is Taylor still asleep?” Millie shook her head and made her and Jay a mug of tea each. “When did he leave?”

“About 20 minutes ago?” Millie commented. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been sitting by the front door. She placed both mugs on the kitchen table and sat down on the seat next to Jay’s. “Although, you have something you need to explain.” Millie smirked slightly. Jay remembered what happened last night but wanted it to go away. He didn’t want to discuss it.

“I don’t need to explain anything,” Jay grinned. He winked at Millie which made her smile.

  53. Shopping day

Tom let himself into Jay and Nathan’s house. “Mils, you ready?” He shouted into the house from the hallway. Millie grabbed her bag from her desk and ran down the stairs. She slipped on a pair of Vans and hugged Tom. Tom put his arm around his sister’s shoulder and led her out to the car. Millie climbed into the passenger seat and clicked her seatbelt in. Tom got in his seat on the driver’s side. He turned the ignition on and pumped Capital FM on high.

An hour and a half later on the M25, Tom had parked in one of the car parks around Lakeside. He was taking Millie shopping. Okay, it wasn’t Oxford Street shopping but Tom couldn’t be arsed with all the crowds. He also knew that Millie wasn’t a big fan of moving crowds either.

“Why are you taking me out shopping?” Millie asked. She shoved Nathan’s Ray-Bans on her face and scrunched her face up. She didn’t feel in the mood to be dressing up in various clothes for the day. Tom chuckled as he locked his car and headed towards the nearest entrance to Lakeside.

“You need a dress if you’re coming to the Billboard Awards with us next week,” Tom grinned. “Can’t have my little sister making me look bad.” Millie punched him lightly in the arm. Tom’s reaction was to laugh.

“If anything, I’m going to make all four of you look better,” Millie teased.

“Four of us?” Tom stopped walking and looked confused.

“Well, I’m never going to make Siva look better, am I?” Millie giggled and continued to walk. Tom jogged to keep up with her.

“True,” Tom chuckled. “Let’s get you looking pretty. Or try to at least.” This comment deserved another punch from Millie.

  54. In love with a dress

Millie must have tried on only five dresses before she became bored. As she wasn’t going to be the one photographed, she wanted to just roll up in shorts and a top but no, Tom was making her dress up nicely for it. Tom was making her try on every dress in every shop. She had to show each one to Tom and Tom decided whether it was a “definite contender”, a “definite no” or a “maybe buy”. Tom hadn’t found the right dress yet. He’d dragged her to Warehouse, Bank, H&M, Quiz, Zara, All Saints, Lipsy, Coast, Miss Selfridge, Republic and they were now in Oasis. Millie loved Oasis. She always wanted all the clothes but could never afford them. Now she would hopefully own one dress from here.

Like the rest of the shops, Tom went around and picked out dresses and handed them to Millie. However, this time, Millie left Tom after he handed her about five dresses. She shoved them into Tom’s arms and walked over to another part of the shop. Millie fell in love with it as soon as she saw it. It was emerald green, silk and mid-thigh length. It was strapless and ruffled from the waist downwards. Millie had to have this dress. She picked it up in her size and took it into the dressing room. She stripped her clothes off and slipped the dress on. It fitted perfectly and made her look amazing at the same time. Tom banged on the dressing room door.

“Millie, you can’t just walk off and pick a completely different dress!” Tom yelled. Millie unlocked the dressing room door and stepped out. She was barefooted but knew the exact pair of shoes which would look best with it; that’s if Tom wasn’t going to buy her any. Tom’s face fell into an expression of shock. The dresses he had in his arms fell to the floor with the hangers clattering together. “Millie,” he managed to get out. He’d never seen her dressed up like this before. Tom pulled his Blackberry out of his pocket and took a couple of photos of Millie. He sent them to the rest of the lads.

Max: Wow mate. Ya sister looks amazin. Get that 1 :)

Siva: Millie looks gorgeous. That’s the one to get.

Nathan: Wow! Green is her colour.

Jay: I think you can stop torturing Mils now and buy that dress :D

Tom grinned at his phone and then looked up to Millie. “They all approve,” Tom chuckled. Millie breathed a sigh of relief. Tom picked up the dresses he’d dropped and left Millie to get dressed. Millie heard her phone vibrate on the seat her bag was resting on. She reached into her bag and pulled her phone out.

Nathan: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas? ;) xx

Millie felt herself blush as a grin spread across her face.

Millie: I would have to be hammered drunk and it would have to be in your dreams :)

  55. LA

The lads and Millie arrived at the airport along with Martin, Jayne, Big Kev and a few others. Surprisingly, a lot of fans were waiting inside the airport to meet them. It was three in the morning and the lads were wondering why the hell there were this many fans. All Millie wanted to do was get on the plane so she could curl up in first class and go to sleep. The lads stopped off with fans for ten minutes. Some of the fans timidly asked Millie if she’d have photos with them. Millie didn’t feel like she could turn them down. She smiled for most of the pictures, pulling faces for a few of them that asked. Jayne and Martin managed to get them all to check-in after 15 minutes. They managed to get through the airport quite quickly. They hung out in the Virgin departure lounge for an hour or so. Jay gave Millie his iPhone to play on for a bit before he got bored himself.

They boarded the plane. Millie settled herself in a seat next to a window and strapped herself in. She stared out of the window, not paying attention to anything around her. She felt a pain in her hand which made her snap out of her daze. She turned her head to see Tom squeezing her hand. She chuckled as she knew how much he hated taking off and landing. As soon as the plane was in the air, Tom relaxed and put his headphones on. Millie went back to watching the clouds beneath them, occasionally seeing sea. She felt her eyelids drooping slowly before drifting off completely; her forehead resting against the side of the plane.

The lads were heading to LA for a few days before they flew to Vegas. Millie had managed to sleep most of the journey across the Atlantic and US, only waking up about an hour before they landed. Nathan and Jay were sitting in the seats in front of Tom and Millie. Nathan had let Tom borrow a pen and Tom currently had it in his hand. He was so tempted to draw on Millie’s face.

“Thomas, don’t you even think about it,” Millie smiled. She opened her eyes slightly to glare at Tom. Nathan burst into a fit of laughter.

“Mate, you got caught out,” Nathan said between laughing. Millie grabbed the pen off of Tom. In one motion, she leaned over the seat and ran the pen along Nathan’s cheek and down his neck. Nathan gasped as Millie sat back down in her seat with a smirk on her face. Jay’s laugh started up and Tom started to cackle. “Are we really starting this up again?” Nathan asked as he turned around in his seat. Millie grinned at him.

  56. LAX                 

Swarms of fans were waiting to greet the lads as they walked into the LAX airport. Nathan still had the pen running from the point where his cheek and nose meet to where his top met the bottom of his neck. Max had his arm around Millie’s shoulders as they walked through the airport. The lads pulled away to have pictures with and talk to the fans. Millie scooted around the edge of the fans and headed towards the direction in which the van would be.

“The Wanted’s van?” Millie asked the van driver outside the Arrivals entrance/exit.

“Yeah,” the driver agreed and flashed Millie a grin.

Millie climbed into the van, leaving the door open. Half an hour later, the lads strolled up to the van. Jay was pushing the suitcases, bags and Tom’s guitar along to the van. Millie wondered why anyone would let him push the baggage trolley. Jay nearly let the trolley run into the van. Max managed to stop it before it made contact. Jay climbed into the van and sat at the back next to Millie. Millie’s phone buzzed in her hand. She looked down at the screen and Taylor’s name was flashing across it. A smile spread across her face. She pressed the answer button and started talking to Taylor. Nathan climbed into the van after Max and Siva and saw Jay’s face. He felt a pang of sympathy for him.

Jay felt like he was making progress with Millie but in fact he was going in the opposite direction. Millie was slowly falling for Taylor. Nathan took a backseat in the house. He didn’t put Millie in awkward situations. He backed off a lot. Jay had told Nathan how much he likes Millie. Jay might not have told Nathan that he loves Millie but Nathan pretty much guessed it. Nathan was still seeing Ashley. It was the only way to keep himself from thinking about Millie.

  57. Sleeping Jay

“Millie, you’ll be sharing with Jay in 320,” Jayne said, reading off the room numbers to everyone. “Nathan, you’ll be with Max in 321 and Siva, you’ll be with Tom in 327. You've got the rest of the day off and we’ll have car here at 9am tomorrow.”

“Nine in the morning?” Tom huffed. “Can’t it be at midday?”

“No, Tom,” Jayne laughed. “You need to be in the studio to record all day. You want another album, don’t you?” The rest of the lads nodded and agreed. Tom rolled his eyes and joined in with agreeing.

Jay was given the card key to get into his and Millie’s room. It was now nearly midday. Millie threw herself on the bed. She placed her phone gently on the side, switching it off so she wouldn’t be disturbed. Jay threw himself down onto his bed. Millie was facing him and he was facing her. Jay started to pull faces which made her giggle and hide her face in the duvet. Millie watched Jay fall asleep. He was lying on his back and his arms spread out. Millie rolled over onto her back and sighed. She heard a faint knocking on her door. She opened the door to see Max standing there.

“Come on, Mils,” Max said and grabbed Millie’s hand. “You are seeing some of the sights of LA.” Max pulled Millie out of the hotel room. The door closed before Millie could say a word.

  58. LA sights

Max climbed into a taxi outside the hotel. Millie was a bit hesitant to get in with him. “Mils?” Max asked. He leaned across the seats in the taxi to see Millie. “I’ll text Tom to say you’re with me. And everything today will be on me. You NEED to see LA. It’s beautiful.” Millie gave in and climbed into the taxi. As the taxi drove around LA, Max gave Millie a tour. The first stop was the Hollywood sign. Max took pictures of Millie in front of it and even took pictures of the both of them pulling faces. Max dragged Millie to the Hollywood Walk of Fame next, taking her to see every star. As they were spending a few days in LA before flying to Vegas, Max thought that they could take their time in seeing every star. He could take Millie to Venice Beach and Malibu in a couple of days.

With every star they came across, Max decided they’d come up with something to say about each name on the star. With the celebrities they hadn’t heard of, Max either looked them up on IMDB or googled them. Max was only spotted a couple of times.

By the time they were finished with the Walk of Fame, it was nearly 10pm and they were both starving. They stopped off to eat some Chinese food before Max headed into an off-licence to buy some alcohol. He bought Millie some vodka and lemonade as a mixer. Max bought beers for the rest of the lads. They took a taxi back to the hotel where they headed straight to Millie and Jay’s room. Max dumped all the alcohol in the room. He then went to his room to get Nathan and then fetched Tom and Siva from their room.

“As Mils isn’t old enough here, we should get drunk in the hotel room,” Max grinned.

Tom was completely up for it. Siva was all for being social and having a drink. Nathan was up for a few drinks and Jay would have to get drunk to get any sleep tonight. Millie picked her phone up from the table between her and Jay’s beds. She turned it on and after a minute or so, five texts came through.

Tom: Gone out again without your phone? X

Taylor: Hey bunny. Having fun in LA? Xx

Taylor: I’m guessing you left your phone in your room. You’re useless with taking your phone out with you haha xx

Taylor: I’ve got work early so I won’t speak to you ‘til tomorrow xx

Jay: I’m guessing Max has taken you out haha. I’ll see you when you get back :P xx

Millie smiled as she saw the texts from Taylor. But seeing the texts from Taylor didn’t stop her from cracking open the vodka and doing two shots from the lid of the bottle.

  59. We’ll drink until we’re drunk

Max and Tom went out to get more beers in. Millie was still drinking her vodka. They were becoming stronger with every drink she had. Siva had gone to bed as it was now 1am. Nathan was laying on Millie’s bed with his hat on his face. He was quite drunk already. Millie and Jay were sitting at the bottom of the bed, on the floor. Millie couldn’t quite focus right on Jay’s face. Jay was feeling the effects of mixing the beers with some of the whiskey in the mini-bar. He’d had a couple of swigs of vodka from Millie’s bottle.

“Jay’s drunk,” Millie giggled. She sucked both of her lips into her mouth and lightly pressed down on them with her teeth. This was her way to feel how drunk she was. She couldn’t feel any pain as she bit down. “I’m a tad drunk too.” Millie grinned at Jay. Jay laughed as he rested his forehead on her forehead. He sucked his lips into his mouth, imitating her. Millie pouted and narrowed her eyes at Jay. “Stop being mean,” she jokingly sulked.

“I’m not being mean,” Jay laughed. Their foreheads were still resting against each others.

Nathan sat up from the lying position he was in. His hat fell to his lap. Nathan watched the two of them having a mini stare off. Nathan must have made some sort of noise as both Jay and Millie turned to face him. Millie grinned at Nathan. She pulled herself onto the bed and pretty much laid on top of him. She wasn’t making it easy for him. She wrapped her arms around his chest.

“We have more alcohol,” Max announced as he walked into the hotel room with a few more bags of alcohol. With the amount Tom and Max had in the bags between them, they had enough to last them the rest of the trip in LA. Millie rolled off of Nathan and took a beer out of one of the six packs. She cracked the lid off and took a large swig out of it.

“You lot have to be up and ready to go out in less than 8 hours,” Millie giggled.

“That’s why I’m going to bed,” Tom said. He placed the bags he had down on the floor. He made his way over to Millie and hugged her, kissing her forehead. “Night, Mils,” he smiled. He saw how drunk his little sister was and couldn’t help but smile. He raised her well. He said night to the other lads before going back to his and Siva’s room.

“I might go bed as well,” Max yawned. He pushed himself off the floor and headed for the door. “You coming Nath?” Max paused before he opened the door, looking over to Nathan on the bed. Nathan looked over to Millie and then to Jay. Millie was sticking her bottom lip out at Nathan, not wanting him to leave. She wanted to keep drinking and stay drunk. Jay was peering over the bottom of the bed at him. Nathan smiled and looked back to Max.

“Yeah, I’ll leave these two to get to sleep,” Nathan chuckled. Millie whimpered as Nathan got off her bed. Nathan hugged her. He didn’t particularly make it easy on himself. He kissed her forehead before letting go of her and leaving the room.

“And then there were two very sexy people left in the hotel room with alcohol,” Jay sang from the floor.

“I’m going to go get some air first,” Millie slurred. Jay had his eyes closed and was slowly falling asleep. Millie giggled as she fetched her phone from her bed and left the room, taking the key with her.

Millie: Outside your hotel room now ;P xx

  60. Drunken sense

“I’ll be back in a minute,” Nathan said to Max. Nathan put his phone back in his pocket and slid their room key into his other pocket. Nathan went out into the corridor to be met by Millie leaning against the opposite wall to his room. As Nathan stepped towards Millie, she grabbed his top and pulled him into her.

“I need you, Sykes,” she begged into his ear.

Before he could say anything, she pulled him along the corridor and opened a cupboard the maids used. She shut the door and pulled him into her, kissing his neck. Nathan wasn’t thinking straight and enjoyed her kissing him. He lifted her top over her head and let it drop to the floor. Nathan tugged on Millie’s hair, pulling her head back. He attacked her neck with his lips. He kissed her chin and then her lips as her hands ran up his shirt. She wasn’t sure why she was doing this. She was with Taylor; she shouldn’t be doing this with Nathan. Neither of them could stop though. Nathan pushed Millie against the door. Millie pulled Nathan’s top off and it joined hers on the floor. Nathan had his hands either side of Millie’s waist on the door. He pulled away from her slightly. They were both breathing heavily. Both of them felt a wave of guilt flow through their bodies.

“We shouldn’t be doing this, should we?” Millie asked. Her hands were now resting on Nathan’s chest. Nathan shook his head. He looked into her eyes. “I need you though,” she whispered.

“You don’t need me, Millie,” Nathan whispered back. “It’s the alcohol making you think you need me. You want me and I want you but we don’t need each other.”

“We need to get rid of this though.” Millie bit her lip, trying to think of a way to get rid of the tension between them.

“We both know there’s only one way that will be able to happen and we can’t let that happen.” Nathan pulled completely away from Millie. He picked both of their tops off the floor. He handed Millie her top back. “We can’t let that happen while you’re with Taylor and Jay likes ...” Nathan tried to think of something but nothing came to mind.

“What?” Millie asked. Her mouth fell open. “Finish that sentence, please?” She looked at Nathan with begging eyes. She knew she wouldn’t want to hear it but she needed to hear something otherwise she’d be over-thinking it too much.

“Lizards,” Nathan tried to smile. “Not while Jay likes lizards. So we’re never to do anything.”

Millie threw her head back against the door. She let out a sigh. Her head started to spin again. She quickly put her top on and ran out the cupboard. She let herself into her and Jay’s hotel room, closing the door behind her. Jay was still up. He had his phone close to his face and from the colour reflecting from his face from the screen, she guessed he was on Twitter. Millie stripped her clothes off and threw Jay’s top on. He’d taken it off before she came into the room. She peeled the duvet back on her bed and climbed in.

  61. Millie gets the giggles

Jay looked up as he heard the door open. Millie stumbled in. He still had his phone close to his face. He couldn’t see Twitter properly without being so close to his face. He watched as Millie took her top off and then removed her shorts, leaving her in her underwear. He expected this but he didn’t expect it to hit him like it did. His mouth dropped slightly at the sight of her. He watched as she picked up Jay’s top from the end of his bed, pulled it over her head and crawled into her own bed. She looked sad and he wondered why she looked so sad. In his opinion, she had the best day in LA. Jay turned his phone off and put it on the table between their beds.

“Are you alright?” Jay asked Millie. Millie looked up to Jay. She couldn’t focus on him properly. In a moment of lust with Nathan, she’d managed to get her head around how much she’d drank but now, laying in bed, she realised she was still drunk. She sat up in bed. She didn’t know why Nathan had this effect on her. Jay saw she wasn’t alright and climbed off of his bed. He lifted the duvet and climbed in next to Millie.

“I had sex with Nathan,” Millie whispered. Jay’s heart stopped. He didn’t want to hear this. In no world, did he want to hear this but he couldn’t help but want to know everything.

“When did it happen?” Jay asked. It was killing him.

“About a month ago,” Millie said. She could feel tears coming on but she didn’t want to cry over Nathan. “Nathan and I left early on a night out and we went back to ours and ... well, you can guess what happened.” Jay felt a painful stab run through him. He started to imagine Nathan and Millie together. Every time he tried to get rid of the pictures, they came on stronger. He tried thinking of when this could have happened. He thought back to the night he saw Nathan and Millie kissing in the club.

“I saw you kiss him in the club,” Jay mumbled. This sent Millie over the edge. Tears started to fall down her cheeks. Drunken, stupid, pointless tears. She couldn’t bring herself to cuddle up to Jay. Jay’s arm was wrapped limply around Millie.

“Nathan pulled out before either of us ... erm ... before either of us, you know,” Millie sobbed. She was still crying but started to giggle too. She started to find it hilarious that neither one of them had been completely satisfied by it. “Oh God,” Millie said as she burst into a new wave of giggles. Jay smiled at seeing her smile, even if tears were falling down her face. “I’m sorry. I’m upset and finding this hilarious and I’m drunk and I need a quick hug and to sleep.” Jay laughed at Millie. He kissed her temple and made to slide out of the bed. Millie grabbed his arm. “Sleep with me?”

Millie wiped the tears that had fallen to her jaw with her free hand. Jay sighed before he cuddled back up to her. It felt like the first night they’d slept in the same bed together but this time, Millie slid her hand into his.

  62. Tom has other plans

“Hey, bunny,” Taylor smiled down the phone. He and Millie hadn’t spoken to each other in a few days. “How’s LA?” Millie bit her lip as she was happy to hear his voice.

“LA is beautiful and I want to live here forever,” Millie grinned. Tom and Millie were down in the hotel cafe grabbing breakfast. “Tom won’t let me though.” Tom threw a scornful look at Millie which caused her to grin back at him. “How’s everything back home?”

“It’s been sunny, which is rare for England.” Taylor chuckled down the phone. “I love hearing your voice. When do you fly to Vegas?”

“Later tonight,” Millie said with a slight question to Tom. Tom nodded at Millie while shoving some bacon in his mouth. “Then it’s the BBMAs tomorrow afternoon. I’m getting all my hair and makeup done and I’m going to hate every second of it. I hate being fussed over. I like to get to the point.”

“That’s not what you usually say. You’re usually all about the fuss,” Taylor chuckled. Millie’s cheeks flushed with colour.

“Tell Taylor that I can hear every word he’s saying,” Tom chipped in.

“I could hear him,” Taylor said into Millie’s ear. He chuckled before he started to shout, “Millie likes to wrap her lips around my-”

“Shut up,” Millie growled down the phone, turning an even darker shade of red.

“I don’t want to even know what the end of that sentence was,” Tom raised his voice so Taylor could hear him.

Millie handed her phone to Tom. “Here, you have a conversation with my boyfriend.”

Tom took the phone out of her hand. “She’ll talk to you when we’re back in England,” he said before he hung her phone up. “Does your ‘boyfriend’ know that you’ve been sleeping in the same bed as another guy?”

“Nothing’s happening between me and Jay.” Millie ripped some pancake up and placed it in her mouth. Tom watched her, not believing the words coming out of her mouth.

“Mils, I’m not blind,” Tom smirked. “I know you and Jay sleeping in the same bed is not nothing. Whatever is happening between the two of you needs to stop.” Tom’s mood had come back. He hated the idea of Jay cuddling up to his little sister. “When we get to Vegas tonight, you are sharing a room with me. No more cuddling up to Jay!”

“I sleep better,” Millie complained.

“Millie, no!” Tom raised his voice slightly.

A few of the other people in the cafe looked over at the pair of them. They didn’t look like brother and sister. They had completely opposite features. Her hair was considerably lighter than his. He had their mum’s eyes whereas she had their father’s eyes. Tom did look more like their father. Millie looked more like their grandmother. This was the reason why people were shocked to find out that the girl who was seen going into Tom’s flat a few months back was actually Tom’s sister, not the girl the fans thought Tom was cheating on Kelsey with.

“Nothing’s happened,” Millie snarled. She kept eye contact with him. Tom held his stare too.

“I don’t care, Millicent. You’re staying in the same hotel room as me tonight and the next couple of nights.” Tom stabbed at a sausage and bit half of it off. He still kept his stare at Millie.

“Fine, I’ll just go pack my stuff up,” Millie said, standing up and throwing the pancake she had in her hand down onto her plate.

  63. Arriving in Vegas

Millie took the hotel key off of Tom and let them into their hotel room. She ranted under her breath as she dumped her suitcase on the bed she was claiming as hers and went into the bathroom. There was a huge bath in the room and she turned the hot tap on. She squeezed a few bubble bath bottles into the bath and watched as the bath filled with water and bubbles.

Tom knew he had pissed her off. Ever since she was little, she liked having their dad give her a cuddle as she drifted off to sleep. She was a definite daddy’s girl. He knocked on the bathroom door and called Millie’s name but her reaction was to just turn the lock on the bathroom door to lock him out. She wanted to bathe in piece and not have to listen to him.

  64. Jay lets slip

“What’s going on between you and Millie?” Tom asked as he went into Jay and Nathan’s room.

“Which one are you talking to?” Jay asked. Jay realised what he’d said and slapped his hand over his mouth. Nathan looked at him with panic in his eyes. Jay completely forgot that Millie had told him without telling anyone else that Jay knew about her and Nathan.

“What has happened between anyone and Millie?” Tom asked. “Should I go and get Max and Seev? Or maybe Martin and Kev and Jayne?”

“Look, mate, nothing’s happened between any of us and Millie,” Nathan tried to say. His voice seemed to have cracked slightly with the nerves he had. “Trust us. Jay and I would know if something had happened. We live with her.”

“Well, apparently we don’t know what happens with her,” Jay mumbled. Nathan heard and turned to face him. Nathan felt anger inside of him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nathan asked. He guessed now that he knew about him and Millie. He didn’t know exactly what he knew but from what Jay was implying, he had a good idea.

“Some of us have made more of an impression than others,” Jay snarled.

“Says the one who has been trying to get in her pants since she was nearly taken by that guy.” Nathan could feel the anger in him swelling and his voice started to rise.

“I’m not the one who has gotten into her pants though, have I?” Jay asked. Both of them had forgotten that Tom was in the room. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was letting both of them live in the same house as her.

“How the fuck do you know about that?” Nathan yelled. “Were you listening in on us or something? Did you have a nice time listening to me satisfying Millie?”

“From what I understand, you didn’t get to fully satisfy her before you pulled out!” Jay yelled back. Jay now had a smirk on his face. Nathan felt the anger rise up uncontrollably in his body. He launched himself at Jay. Tom had suddenly paid attention and managed to get Nathan off of Jay. Tom had managed to restrain Nathan and push him out into the corridor. “Fucking dick.” Jay snarled as he got up off the floor. He wiped the corner of his mouth with his jacket sleeve.

“Nathan and Millie slept together?” Tom asked Jay. Jay wanted to take back everything he had said. He sat down on his bed and started to fuss with his hands.

“Look, I shouldn’t have said that in front of you.” Jay said. He didn’t want to look up from his hands. Tom was either going to be looking upset that Nathan had been with his sister in that way or angry because Nathan had been with his sister in that way. In fact, Tom was feeling more upset than angry. He couldn’t believe one of his best friends had even kissed her let alone had sex with her.

“But Nathan and Millie have slept together?” Tom asked. He didn’t know exactly why he was asking but he wanted to have a reason to punch Nathan as he walked out of the hotel room.

“From what she told me, yes they have slept together.” Jay still didn’t look up from his hands.

Tom grunted, “I’m gonna fucking kill him!” He left the room, slamming the hotel room door shut. Nathan was leaning against the wall next to the door. Tom was furious now. The fact Millie had told Jay and not Tom made Tom angry. He punched Nathan; hit him right in the jaw. Nathan clutched his face as he fell back against the wall.

  65. Siva knows

Tom’s POV

Nathan slept with Millie. He slept with Millie. What the hell was he thinking? She’s my little sister and he went and had ... I couldn’t even say it. I couldn’t go back into mine and Millie’s room. I was angry and I didn’t want to have another argument with her. Jay’s words were haunting me. Nathan hadn’t satisfied her? What the hell did he do? So, from what it sounds like, he had ... he slept with her for his own ple... satisfaction but didn’t think about her. Nathan was lucky I didn’t kill him.

  Tom walked around the hotel for a couple of hours before heading back to their hotel room. Millie was sitting on the bed with her hair tied up into a high ponytail and her pjs were on. Siva was sitting on the bed next to her, watching Star Wars together. Millie looked up to Tom as soon as he walked in.

“Where the hell have you been?” Millie questioned. She was worried about him. She jumped off the bed and pulled him into her for a hug.

“What’s the matter?” Tom asked. He threw Siva a confused look.

“Someone punched Nathan and no one knew where you were and we didn’t know if the same guy would be after you too,” Millie choked. Tom wrapped his arms around her tightly. He couldn’t tell her that he punched Nathan because he found out about the two of them.

“You should have called me,” Tom said as he leaned away from Millie. “How is Nathan?” Tom could hear himself sounding guilty.

“He’s been taken to the hospital by Max and Martin,” Siva said. “Max called a few minutes ago to say that his jaw is bruised but he’ll be fine to perform tomorrow.” Siva knew something was up with Tom. “Are you okay?”

Tom smiled weakly at Millie before looking back to Siva. “Millie, why don’t you go and find Jay?” Tom asked. He handed Millie the room key and indicated that she leave the room to go hang out with Jay for a bit. Millie was slightly confused but agreed to it. As soon as she had left, Tom turned back to Siva. He lowered his voice in case Millie was standing outside. “I punched Nathan.” Tom admitted to Siva.

Siva’s face fell. His jaw dropped onto his chest. “Tom, why would you punch Nathan?” Siva sat up properly on the bed.

“He had ... he ... he did stuff to Millie! Stuff no one I’m friends with should be doing to Millie!” Tom could feel himself getting angry again.

“No, he didn’t!” Siva couldn’t believe that Nathan would ever dare sleep with Millie. Nathan knew how much Tom didn’t want any of the lads to hit on Millie. From the look on Tom’s face though, it seemed that it was in fact true. Siva put his face in his hands for a few seconds. “How could the baby do this?”

  66. Nathan > Jay or Jay > Nathan

“Have you heard anything else from Max?” Millie asked Jay as he opened the door to his and Nathan’s hotel room.

“No, sorry,” Jay apologised. Millie started to pace the bedroom floor. She didn’t want to sit back down. Jay sat down on the end of Nathan’s bed, watching her get herself worked up.

“Who the hell would punch Nathan? Why would they punch him?” Millie started to ask, leaving no gap between questions for Jay to even think about answering them. “Nathan’s a nice guy. He doesn’t deserve a fist to his face or stomach or any part of his body. Why would some heartless person do this to him? Why would any guy do this? I’m guessing it was a guy. A guy who was bigger and stronger than him.”

“Calm down, Mils,” Jay said. He was now standing in front of her. He had his hands on her upper arms, trying to stop her from pacing and working herself up. Millie looked up to Jay. She had genuine worry and concern on her face. Jay knew Tom hit Nathan but didn’t go out into the corridor to see if Nathan was okay. To Jay, Nathan deserved being hit. Jay hated the fact that he had to share a room with Nathan after finding out about him and Millie. He wanted to share a room with Millie again. “Look,” Jay started. “Let’s just sit down and wait until Nath gets back. Has anyone seen Tom yet?” Millie nodded.

“He’s in our room,” she said. She sounded upset and had completely worked herself up into tears. “I shouldn’t even be caring this much about Nathan, should I?” Millie looked into Jay’s eyes. She could still see the blue through her tears.

“I knew he would win,” Jay sighed. He let go of Millie and headed out of the hotel room.

Millie’s POV

What did Jay just say? I was stood there in shock from what I thought Jay had just said. Nathan didn’t win. I cared about Nathan but not in the way that I cared about Jay. What was I even thinking? I had a boyfriend. A boyfriend. Who cares about me. But I have to tell Jay what I really think. I have to tell him that Nathan doesn’t win.

Millie didn’t move though.

  67. Not with it

Walking down the white carpet was one of the most awkward experiences for the lads. Nathan, Siva and Jay knew that Tom was the one who hit Nathan. Millie, Max, Martin, Kev and Jayne had no idea. Tom couldn’t be the same around Nathan and Nathan didn’t even want to look at Tom or Jay. The lads smiled and stood in a row for the cameras. After a minute or so, they were ushered along to the next part where they were interviewed by various different radio stations, TV chat and entertainment shows, magazines and tabloids. The boys were then taken to their dressing room backstage. They got to change into more comfortable clothes to perform in. Millie stood in the corner of their dressing room in her dress still. She wasn’t allowed to change. She wasn’t really tuned into anything that was happening.

“Millie,” Tom said from across the room. She didn’t hear him. She was too busy thinking about what she should’ve said to Jay. “Millie?” Tom stopped getting changed. He had his jeans and trainers on and had his top around his neck. “Mils, what’s up?” She didn’t respond to him. He moved his face into her line of vision. “Millie? Is everything alright?”

“Hmm?” Millie asked. She suddenly became aware of everyone looking in her direction. She looked at Tom who looked quite worried. She was a bit taller than him now with her heels on. “Yeah, everything’s fine.” She shrugged it off. She sat down on the sofa they had in their dressing room and zoned out again. Tom felt concerned because she wasn’t being herself.

“Come on then lads,” Jayne said, trying to pep the guys up. “It’s your turn to perform.”

“Millie,” Tom started but dropped. She’d zoned out again and he knew there was no point in even trying.

  68. I’m never, I’m never down

“What have you done to Millie?” Tom asked Jay as they started to head towards the stage.

“Nothing,” Jay sighed. They all kept walking.

“You were the last one to speak to her before she became like this!” Tom pushed past Max to get to Jay. “What did you say to her? What was the last thing you said to her?”

“Tom, we’ll talk about it back at the hotel, right?” Jay asked. He’d stopped in his tracks and turned towards Tom. Jay was a lot taller than Tom and for the first time since meeting Jay, he felt slightly scared to question him anymore.

“Alright,” Tom mumbled and went back to walking between Max and Siva.

Jay hadn’t spoken to Millie. In fact he hadn’t even slept in his hotel room that night. He didn’t want to be near Nathan. He couldn’t stop thinking about how quiet Millie had been all morning. She’d hardly spoken. While they were all getting ready that morning, she’d been silent. She hadn’t even spoken to Dave (Nick/Dave) or Debs about anything. Usually she’d be the first one chatting to them about stupid things. In the van to the event she was silent. Tom couldn’t get two words out of her. Even Max telling her she looked beautiful only put a small smile on her face. She had looked over to Jay but he didn’t say anything. To him, she chose Nathan and that was the end of it.

Nathan’s jaw still hurt. It was a little swollen where Tom had hit him but he could deal with the pain. He had to. He didn’t really have a choice. He was pissed off at Jay for telling Tom that he and Millie had slept together. It was going to be difficult for Tom to forgive Nathan for this.

The lads lined up in their spot on stage and tried to look happy. They were performing at a pretty big awards ceremony; they were happy. The rate they’ve gone with their success in the states did make them genuinely happy. The fans they’d talked to who had bought their stuff from the UK, even if it did cost them $10 or so for postage. All of them thought of how far they’d come and that was the reason for why they performed like they did.

Even if Tom sang the wrong lyrics.

  69. Millie technically told Tom

As soon as the wrong lyrics came out of Tom’s mouth, Millie found her smile. She cried happy tears throughout the performance. Tom singing the wrong lyrics made her realise how stupid she was being on her brother’s biggest days. All the lads came back into the dressing room, jumping around with each other. Nathan, Jay and Tom were all chatting excitedly to one another, forgetting everything that had happened the day before. Millie jumped into Tom’s arms.

“You’re such a douchebag, Pecker,” she laughed into his ear. She kissed his cheek before he set her back down on her feet. “I always thought the song started with I’m better, so much better now?”

“Yeah, yeah, Mils,” Tom laughed. “I got the words wrong. I’m an idiot.”

“And we now have that on flip,” Martin chuckled. The other lads cheered. Tom sarcastically cheered and headed to the mini fridge that was in the corner of the dressing room. He pulled a few cans of beer out and chucked them to Max, Siva and Jay. Nathan took a hold of Millie’s hand and dragged her out of the dressing room and down the corridor a bit.

“Tom knows that we slept together,” Nathan blurted out as soon as they’d found a spot where no one was near.

“What?” Millie asked. She found herself frozen again. She couldn’t move from the spot she was in. “How-how-how-how did he find out?”

“I went and told him,” Nathan said sarcastically as he sat down on a chair. “Well, I’m guessing he technically found out from you.”

“What?” Millie snarled. “How would he find out from me, ‘technically’?”

“I’m guessing you were the one to tell Jay.” Nathan raised his eyebrows. He already knew the answer and Millie could tell.

“What? And Jay told Tom?” Millie asked, laughing. “Like Jay would do that.” Nathan pulled his lips together and raised his eyebrows for a split second as a response to Millie. “I’m going to kill Jay. He had no right telling Tom about us.” Millie found herself moving again and made to go back to the dressing room.

“Let’s face it Millie. You would never kill Jay.” Nathan yelled from the seat he was in. Millie bit her lip. “It’s more than you liking him now.”

“Nothing could ever happen with Jay.” Millie could feel herself slipping back to the state she was in earlier. “Not since last night.” Millie took one last look at Nathan before she ran off.

  70. Fake ID-ed

Millie had managed to make herself disappear for the rest of the afternoon. The lads were changed back into their suits and taken to their seats where the BBMAs were being filmed. They watched the other acts perform. Tom sat on the edge of his seat, worrying where Millie was. Millie had found herself hanging out with Justin Bieber for some of the time. He knew the Wanted lads and knew that Millie should be under the watchful eye of someone they knew than just wandering about without anyone keeping an eye on her. Millie hadn’t told Justin anything. She didn’t want to bother him with the stupid mistakes of her life. It was only when the lads were about to leave to go to the after party that Tom wanted to look everywhere for Millie. He found her in Justin’s room, cuddled up to him and crying. Tom only felt sympathy for her. She hadn’t really let any emotion out since the night before – apart from the whole laughing-at-Tom-because-he-sang-the-wrong-lyrics thing.

“Millie,” Tom asked softly. He bent down in front of her. Justin still had his arm around her. “Millie, we’re going to the after party. Do you want to come with us or go back to the hotel?” Millie looked at Tom.

“I’ll come to the after party,” Millie smiled weakly at him. “Only if I’m allowed to get drunk and you don’t let me get near Nathan.”

“That is more than a deal. I promise you that you can get drunk and I’ll keep you away from Nathan,” Tom laughed. Millie had a genuine smile on her face now. Justin let go of Millie as Tom wrapped his arms around her. “Thanks, Justin.” Tom said as he and Millie left Justin’s dressing room. “Come on, let’s get you outrageously drunk.” Tom handed Millie a fake ID he managed to get her.

  71. After party hangover

Millie woke up with a splitting headache. The fake ID got her a wristband that let her drink any alcohol she wanted. All the drinks were paid for so she had as many shots of tequila and Sambucca that her body could take. She didn’t remember much from that night apart from that she had fun and was happy. She remembered dancing with a lot of guys which included Max, Justin Bieber, Siva, Tom, and a few guys that were supposedly at the BBMAs but Millie didn’t remember. Tom ended up having to support her back to the hotel. She didn’t remember seeing either Jay or Nathan at all during the night, either from the amount of alcohol she had or because she’d genuinely not seen them. She woke up in her bed though; without another guy in it.

“We’ve got breakfast coming up in a bit,” Tom said as he came out the bathroom, fully dressed. Millie picked her phone up from the pillow next to her. She squinted at the screen to see it read 11:18am. She threw her head back on her own pillow ignoring the text messages she’d received while she had been sleeping.

“I don’t even know if I’ll be able to manage to keep any food down me,” Millie groaned. That’s the thing Millie couldn’t stand most about hangovers; the nausea she had the next day. If she was unfortunate to have a hangover that lasted two days, she would usually have to spend both days in bed from not being able to eat which made her dizzy because her sugar levels were down.

The food was brought up by room service within fifteen minutes. Tom had gone all out with what he’d ordered. He’d ordered himself some proper breakfast food but he’d ordered Millie pizza and cold baked beans. As soon as she smelt the food, she could feel the contents of whatever was in her stomach making its way up her throat. She managed to make it to the bathroom in time to throw it all up down the toilet. Millie could hear Tom laughing from the bathroom doorway. She grabbed whatever she could get her hand around and chucked it in the direction of Tom’s laugh.

  72. Millie flies home

“Let me know the minute you land,” Tom requested as he hugged Millie. She was at the Las Vegas airport about to board a plane home. “The minute you land.”

“Okay, Tom. As soon as I can switch my phone on, type the message and it gets enough signal for it to send.” Millie grinned at Tom. Tom pulled an unimpressed face at her. Max and Siva hugged Millie next.

“See you at home,” Nathan said as he quickly hugged her. Millie smiled at him. She was glad everything blew over. She found out Tom hit Nathan which caused Millie to punch Tom very hard in the arm, leaving him with a big bruise starting to develop. Nathan pulled away from Millie and walked over to Tom, Max and Siva.

It was now Jay’s turn to say goodbye to Millie. They hadn’t said one word to each other since Jay had said, “I knew he would win.” Millie wanted to tell Jay what she really thought but every time she wanted to, her mouth refused to let her speak. “I’ll see you in a couple of days,” Jay said as he pulled her into his chest. Millie wrapped her arms around his chest. She grabbed at his t-shirt at the back, holding bunches of it in her hands.

“Nathan didn’t win,” Millie whispered. That’s all her voice was letting her do. Jay heard her say something but couldn’t make out what it was.

“What, Mils?” He asked, stroking her hair. He looked down at her. She couldn’t get her words out again. No one had had that effect on her before and she panicked. Millie couldn’t breathe properly from panicking. She started to breathe quicker without taking breaths out. Jay could see her starting to hyperventilate. “Calm down, calm down,” he gently said. Tom noticed something was up but Max stopped him from seeing what was wrong. Jay kept her in the hug. “Calm down,” he repeated. “Breathe in and out, in and out, in and out.” Millie started to calm down. Jay started to mimic her slower breathing. “Just copy me; just breathe in and out like I am.” Millie looked into his eyes and took a breath in when he did and breathed out when he did.

“Flight 347 to London, Heathrow to board at Gate 19,” the overhead announcer said.        

“Are you going to be okay to get on that plane?” Jay asked Millie. Millie was still looking at Jay and copying his breathing rhythm. She smiled up to him and nodded. “Good, now go say a final bye to Tom and go and board your plane.” Jay hugged her quickly again. “We’ll see you in a couple of days.”

Millie hugged Tom again and headed towards the departure gate. She told herself that the thing between her and Jay was clearly gone. He definitely thought that she had chosen Nathan over him.

  73. Kelsey and Jade bring wine

“Millie?” Millie heard Kelsey’s voice echoing through the house. She heard the front door close and two pairs of footsteps come up the stairs. Kelsey and Jade stood at Millie’s bedroom door. Millie sat upright on her bed.

“I’m jet-lagged and I’ve got to deal with you two?” Millie asked, a smile spread across her face.

“Yes,” Kelsey grinned. Jade was carrying a couple of carrier bags which held wine and Doritos. Kelsey walked over to Millie, grabbed her wrists and pulled her off the bed. “We are drinking wine, eating junk food and gossiping whether you like or not!” Kelsey dragged Millie downstairs into the living room. Jade started unpacking the wine in the kitchen. She put five of the six bottles in the fridge and placed the sixth bottle in the freezer to cool quicker.

“So,” Jade started as she sat down next to Millie. “How are you and Taylor?” Millie bit her lip.

“He picked me up from the airport last night,” Millie smiled slightly. She liked Taylor but she couldn’t stop thinking about Jay. “He stayed and went off to work this morning. He’s supposed to be coming over tonight, but I’m guessing I’m going to have to change those plans.” Millie giggled as Kelsey wriggled her eyebrows at her.

“You could always call him up for a booty call later,” Kelsey winked at Millie before smiling at Jade. Millie relaxed into the sofa and took her phone out of her jeans pocket.

Millie: Change of plans for tonight babe. I’m spending it with the girlies. See you tomorrow. Xx

Millie threw her phone onto the other sofa. All three girls were sitting on the sofa by the window. They chatted about Kelsey’s business and Jade’s internship. After a while, all three girls remembered that there was wine in the freezer. They all rushed into the kitchen to pull the wine out the freezer. It was starting to freeze.

  74. Drunken Milsey moment

Millie: Drinks with Kelsey make me happy. Did you ask her to come round?

Tom: Yes you need Kelsey around you. X

Millie: She’s a bad influence

Millie: She’s got me influenced

Millie: ON WIIIIIIIINEEEE!!!

Tom: Fucking alcoholic! :P

Millie: I flame too!

Tom: Lol what?

Millie: I

Millie: Blame

Millie: Too!

Tom: You blame me?

Millie: YES!

Tom: As autocorrect is getting the better of you, put your phone down!

Millie: Five. Bye x

Tom: Text me when you’re sober! Ly xx

Millie: Meh! Ly2 xx

Kelsey walked into Jay’s room. Kelsey and Jade were sharing Millie’s bed for the night. Millie took Jay’s bed. She didn’t want to be sleeping in Nathan’s bed. Kelsey sat on the bed.

“Nathan’s bed is comfier,” Kelsey smiled as she started jumping up and down on Jay’s bed. She was quite tipsy. Millie was drunk.

“Jay’s bed is better,” Millie slurred. Kelsey giggled at Millie being so drunk. Jade was asleep in Millie’s bed. “Why have you come to disturb me?”

“I’m bored and wanted to chat,” Kelsey grinned at Millie. Millie rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at Kelsey. “So, what do you wanna chat about?” Kelsey laid down on the bed, her body on top of the covers.

“Is Taylor good for me?” Millie asked. They were settling into the meaningful, drunken state.

“He takes care of you, right?” Kelsey asked. Millie nodded. “Then yeah, he’s good for you. Oh, and Tom told me about you and Nathan.” Millie pulled a painful expression. She closed both eyes and after a couple of seconds, opened one eye to look at Kelsey. “Why would you sleep with Nathan? Of all the guys in this house, why Nathan?” Kelsey started to get the giggles.

“I was drunk and it wasn’t the first time we did stuff.” Millie started to giggle. Kelsey’s mouth dropped for a couple of seconds before she started giggling again. “Okay, we did ... something in the kitchen but it’s been twice ... three times that anything has happened between us. But I like Jay not Nathan.”

“Jay?” Kelsey asked. She was genuinely in shock now and was sitting up properly.

“Taylor!” Millie pointed at Kelsey. “I said Taylor, not Jay!”

“You said Jay. You like Jay?” Kelsey was excited over this new piece of gossip.

“You cannot say anything to anyone, Kels,” Millie said. She had worry in her voice. “Anyone!” Kelsey put her three middle fingers up – declaring the Brownie promise – and put her other hand on her heart. “I love him, Kels. But he thinks I like Nathan and every time I try to tell Jay that it’s him and not Nathan, my voice gets all caught up in my throat and I can’t say anything. Anything!” Millie sighed and started to fiddle with the duvet. Kelsey pulled Millie into her for a hug.

“Well, neither of you can do anything about this while you’re still with Taylor,” Kelsey whispered into Millie’s ear.

  75. Taxi journey home

“We can’t just keep ignoring this,” Nathan tried to say in the taxi from the airport to Nathan and Jay’s house. Jay was ignoring Nathan again. He went through different mood swings of getting on with Nathan to hating him. “Jay!”

“Nath, we’re not speaking about it!” Jay snapped. He was staring out the window at the passing cars on the opposite side of the road to them. Both lads were jetlagged and not feeling their best.

“Trust me, mate, you’ll wan-” Nathan started but stopped dead in his tracks when Jay turned around in his seat and had anger in his expression.

“I don’t want to hear about what you and Millie did or didn’t do,” Jay snarled. “You honestly think I want to hear? Just don’t talk to me, Nath.” Jay turned back around in his seat.

“You won’t ever listen to me, will ya?” Nathan asked. He was furious with Jay pushing him to the side. “I know I shouldn’t have slept with Millie. I know I shouldn’t have even kissed her. I don’t even have a good enough excuse saying why I did. And what makes it worse is I didn’t satisfy her. So not only do you and Tom think I am scum for sleeping with her in the first place, you think I’m even more of a dick for not making her happy.”

“You have Ashley.” Jay had completely snapped and was yelling at Nathan now. “You have Ashley to do all that stuff with! Not Millie. You knew I liked Millie and you went and did this. I just ...” Jay sighed. He was hurt. Hurt that his best friend would do that to him. “I never thought that my best friend would do that to me.”

“Hang on, did you say you liked Millie? Liked as in past tense liked?” Nathan asked.

“She clearly doesn’t like me back so why even bother anymore?” Jay asked. He went back to sulking and looking out the window. Jay felt a sting in his cheek. He turned around to see Nathan rubbing his hand.

“Sorry but you deserve it,” Nathan shrugged. Jay pulled a ‘what the fuck’ face. Nathan smiled and started to laugh. “Do you honestly think she’d be sleeping in the same bed and cuddling up to you if she didn’t like you?”

“Tom said she likes to be comforted as she falls asleep.” Jay rubbed his cheek from where it still stung. He couldn’t believe Nathan had slapped him round the face.

“She never comes and sleeps in my bed.” Nathan pointed out. “She’s never shared a bed with anyone other than Taylor and you since she’s been living with us.”

“She clearly doesn’t like me though. She’s still with Taylor, isn’t she?” Jay asked making Nathan become quiet. He hadn’t thought about that.

  76. Millie’s in Jay’s bed again

Jay walked into his bedroom to find Millie asleep in his bed. For a second, he thought he’d walked into the wrong room. He looked around his bedroom to confirm that he was in fact in the right bedroom. He quietly rolled his suitcase over to the window. It was only when he got Tia out of her tank that Millie woke up.

“Morning,” Millie said and smiled at Jay, still half asleep. Jay put Tia back in her tank after making a fuss of his daughter.

“Afternoon,” Jay chuckled and gave Millie a hug. “And you’re asleep in my bed because?” Millie bit her lip and blushed as she looked down into her lap.

“I like the smell,” Millie mumbled. She was embarrassed she was admitting this to Jay. She felt a bit stalker-like to say she knew what his duvet and pillows smelt like.

“You like the smell of sweat and cum?” Jay asked. He was now laughing at how much she was blushing. Millie pulled the duvet up to cover her face. Jay was uncontrollably laughing now.

“I am going to get showered,” Millie giggled. Her face was still pink from embarrassment. “Welcome home, by the way.” She threw one of Jay’s pillows at him and climbed out of bed.

  77. Taylor persuades Millie to go out

Millie poked her head around the shower door. She’d been doing this now ever since the first time Nathan had seen her naked. The coast was clear. She grabbed a towel from the towel rack and wrapped it around her. She brushed her teeth and then stood facing the mirror pulling faces at her reflection. She didn’t realise how long she’d been in the bathroom; she just knew it was a long time. She quickly went to her room and pulled some clothes out of her chest of drawers. She pulled her top over her head as Taylor knocked on her bedroom door.

“Hey bunny,” he smiled. He planted a kiss on her lips before sitting down on her bed. “I was thinking tonight that we could go out with a few of my friends.” Millie placed herself on his lap.

“Yeah, but you can’t leave me alone,” Millie pouted playfully.

“And why’s that?” Taylor placed his lips on her shoulder. He started to kiss along her shoulder until he met the crook of her neck.

“Because you’re friends freak me out.” Millie admitted. It wasn’t as if Millie thought they were a bit weird; they usually were. But then again, they were usually high on cocaine so she had a good excuse.

“I promise I won’t leave you alone with them,” Taylor smiled as he kissed her neck.

“I have literally just got dressed.” Millie pulled away from Taylor and stuck out her tongue at him.

“That means you haven’t got used to the clothes being on so it will feel more comfortable to take them off.” Taylor started to lift Millie’s top up slowly. Millie giggled at Taylor teasing her. But she couldn’t complain. She loved it when he teased her.

  78. Millie’s POV

Millie’s POV

I wasn’t aware of what was happening. Everything seemed to be swirling in front of my hands. I couldn’t get a grip on my drink and I couldn’t stay focussed. I began panicking.

Right, so Taylor had taken me out for dinner before we met up with his friends. As usual, they were high as fuck and I couldn’t stand them. I honestly didn’t know why I put up with them; maybe the sex with Taylor; maybe because Taylor treated me insanely well. We met up with his friends at a bar just down from the restaurant. As I said before, they were high and trying to persuade Taylor to get high with them. I was being sensible and had told them that I was never going to get high with them. I didn’t trust them. I’ve gotten high before – from weed – but I was around my friends who I trust.

Taylor caved and decided he’d only do one line of coke. He disappeared to the bathroom and came back a couple of minutes later. He kissed me. He kissed me hard and I knew I wasn’t going to enjoy the night. Taylor bought my drinks and he bought a lot of them. I’d had a couple of glasses of wine in the pub before we moved on to a nightclub a few minutes’ walk from the pub we were in. I had several jagerbombs in there and was now starting on vodka shots. When going out with Taylor, it was pretty much drinking the strong stuff until you’re passed out. I’d stopped drinking the vodka shots as I was starting to feel sick and at one point I had to rush to the loo to be sick.

Taylor had bought me more drinks though. He was starting to buy spirits and mixers for me as he saw I wasn’t handling the spirits by themselves that well. That’s when I started to feel swirly and out of place. I could hear noises but I couldn’t figure out what they were. I tried to focus on what was happening but I kept getting distracted by the swirling patterns and the circles and squares that were appearing in my vision. I saw Taylor’s face in front of mine. I could see him saying something but I couldn’t figure out what he was saying.

He was starting to become distant. His face getting blurrier and further away. I tried to call out his name but I couldn’t hear my voice; I couldn’t feel my mouth moving.

My vision went blank.

  79. Abandonment

‘Who the hell was banging on our door at gone three in the morning?’ Jay thought as he made his way downstairs. He couldn’t see anyone through the glass in the window of the door but could see something at the bottom. He opened the door and Millie’s body was lying there. She wasn’t moving.

“Millie?” Jay asked. He tried to sound calm but the way she fell into the hallway seemed like it was all dead weight. There was no tension in her body. “Millie?” Jay asked a little louder into her ear. He tried to wake her up but it wasn’t working. Where the hell was Taylor? He was supposed to be with her tonight. “Nathan, wake the fuck up now!” Jay shouted up the stairs. He heard Nathan groan before coming out of his room.

“What is it?” Nathan asked. He was pissed off that Jay had managed to wake him up.

“Call a fucking ambulance, now!” Jay yelled. He was really starting to panic now. “Millie, wake up. Millie.” He checked to see if she had a pulse and could just about feel one in her neck and her wrist. He checked her breathing and it was faint. Nathan saw how much Jay was panicking and quickly ran to his room, picked up his phone and called for an ambulance. Meanwhile, Jay turned Millie on her side. He had done his first aid training but couldn’t remember any of it. He just knew to check for a heartbeat, breathing and turn her on her side in case she’s sick. Luckily, he had turned her just in time. She started to throw up all over the hallway floor. “Nathan? When’s that ambulance getting here?”

“Soon,” Nathan said as he appeared at the bottom of the stairs. “What the fuck has Taylor done to her?”

A sound of a siren screeched down their street, waking up half of their neighbours. Blue flashing lights lit up their hallway as Millie continued to gag unconsciously. The paramedics pulled a stretcher out of the ambulance and loaded Millie on to it. Jay and Nathan looked at each other to see who should go with her and who should be to one to give Tom the call.

“I’ll meet you there,” Nathan said and stepped towards the house.

“Don’t tell Tom everything,” Jay yelled as he climbed into the ambulance. “Just tell him that Millie didn’t feel well.” The paramedic shut the door to the ambulance.

  80. The wait

Millie was rushed into the hospital via A&E. Jay was taken to a smaller waiting room and asked if there was anyone the hospital should contact. Jay shook his head. “We’ve already told her brother. He should be here soon,” was Jay’s reply. The doctor left and Jay was left alone. There was a family in the same room. Jay was sat in that room for a couple of hours. He wasn’t really aware of anything happening around him. There were no windows to show that the sun was coming up and he hadn’t heard from either Tom or Nathan. The only way of knowing how long he’d been there was by use of his phone.

“Jay!” Tom’s voice came from down the corridor. Jay looked up and saw Tom walking fast towards him. “Jay, where is she?”

“She’s getting her stomach-pumped,” Jay explained. Tom sat down in one of the seats next to Jay. Nathan and Kelsey walked in a few seconds later. Tom had run off from them both.

After another half hour of Jay explaining to Tom what Jay had already explained to a couple of the doctors, they were allowed to see Millie. Millie was still asleep. She had an IV drip sticking into her left arm and she looked a mess. Patients in TV shows don’t look like this once they’ve been treated. Millie had her makeup running down her face; her hair was everywhere and still had bits of sick in it. Thankfully there was a ‘washroom’ in her room, which had a shower, toilet and sink.

Tom instantly pulled a chair up to her bedside and took her right hand in between both of his. He kissed her fingertips. Jay and Nathan took a seat on the sofa the other side of her bed. Kelsey stood behind Tom with her hand rubbing his shoulder lightly.

“Tomtom, shall I get you some food?” Kelsey asked. Tom shook his head. He felt sick, like if he were to eat anything, it would come straight back up.

“I’d never think that you’d take any sort of drug,” Tom admitted. He only considered that he was speaking to Millie than to the whole room. “What were you thinking, Mils? You know what we’ve been through with friends back home who have done all sorts and with Gerry having that overdose and dying. I wouldn’t think you’d do this.”

Tom could see Millie dreaming. Her eyelids were flinching every now and then. Millie started to mumble. She was starting to wake up. Jay sat upright a bit more and Tom’s hands tightened around hers. It took another ten minutes or so for her to wake up properly and open her eyes; even then she seemed groggy.

“Mils, hey,” Tom whispered. She looked at him and smiled.

“Hey,” Millie whispered back. “Where’s Taylor?”

  81. Waking up

Tom, Nathan and Jay all looked at each other with the same expression. Nathan stood up from the sofa and stood the other side of Millie’s bed. He stroked her face and she opened her eyes again, looking over to Nathan this time.

“Millie, Taylor’s not here,” Nathan said. He was still stroking her face.

“Why isn’t he here? What happened?” Millie asked. Millie looked at Nathan and then to Tom. She then registered that Kelsey was there.

“What do you remember?” Tom asked. Millie tried to remember what happened the night before.

“We went to a pub and had a couple of drinks there,” Millie started to say. She closed her eyes and tried to remember what happened. “Taylor was being a prick in the pub because he went off to the toilet to get high. Then we went to a nightclub and he was buying my drinks all night. But why am I in the hospital with stuff in me?” Millie’s heart rate increased from panicking. Everyone could tell too.

“I found you pushed against the front door, passed out,” Jay spoke. Millie tried to sit up a bit more in the bed so she could see him. Nathan stepped out the way as Jay moved to take Nathan’s spot by the bed. Jay pulled a chair up. “You were barely breathing and I could only just feel a pulse so I pulled you on your side and you started to be sick everywhere.” Millie could see Jay getting upset over describing what happened. She found the remote to slide the bed up more. “Then the paramedics arrived and asked me a bunch of questions in the ambulance and brought you here.”

Nathan had sat back down on the sofa and sent a text to Siva and Max; knowing they were worried about Millie but didn’t want to intrude on all of this. Tom was looking from Millie to Jay. His mouth fell open in realisation; they both liked each other and Tom could tell. Kelsey realised what Tom had figured out.

“We’ll be right back,” Kelsey smiled at Millie. She then went and grabbed Tom by the back of his jacket and dragged him out into the corridor.

  82. Tom, stay out of this!

“Jay and Millie actually like each other?” Tom asked. Kelsey continued to drag him further down the corridor so that if Tom blew up, the others wouldn’t be able to hear.

“Yes, we had a drunken bonding moment the other night,” Kelsey said. “Now, please don’t stop Millie from living with them. I’ve only seen one other person act this way around a guy and that ended up well and they are happy together and love each other and do you know who that girl was?” Tom shook his head. “Me, Tom. So you’re not allowed to interfere, okay?” Kelsey had a slight aggressive tone in her voice and Tom knew she was being serious about it.

“We know what Jay’s like with some girls though,” Tom tried to argue.

“Mate,” Nathan was now standing with them. “He’s completely different with her.”

Tom stepped towards Nathan and started to point at him. “You don’t get a say in this,” Tom snarled.

“You’re completely blaming me for what happened between me and Millie.” Nathan growled. “Both of us played a part in it. You can’t just completely blame me. And Jay loves Millie.”

“And she loves him,” Kelsey added. Tom turned to face her with a disgusted look on her face.

“They don’t love each other!” Tom couldn’t believe Nathan and Kelsey were trying to tell him this.

“She is acting exactly how I was around you.” Kelsey raised her eyebrows at Tom. She jabbed him in the chest. “Are you saying that isn’t love?”

Tom rolled his eyes. He knew he would never win as soon as that card was played. He turned back to Nathan. “What are they like in the house together?”

“When Ashley’s round, they usually go out for drives or walks and stuff.” Nathan was really trying to think about the stuff they do that would show that they really do like each other. Nathan did like Millie too but in no way was it as much as what Jay was feeling. Nathan also knew that he had the chance to make her happy but he blew it. He blew it the moment he stopped. “I’m always catching one in the other’s bed in the morning. They’re both dressed, just ... they look cute when they’re cuddled up together. They look like a couple which is why I always felt guilty whenever I kissed Millie or anything. I knew she liked Jay and I knew he liked her back.”

“Millie said that she had a small panic attack in the airport the other day,” Kelsey said. Tom turned to face her remembering the moment Max stopped Tom from seeing why Millie was hyperventilating in Jay’s arms. “She wanted to tell Jay that she liked him and she couldn’t get the words out. He made her breathless and she’s never felt like that and started to panic. Jay calmed her down and soothed her though.”

“I think you’re both missing the obvious point,” Tom groaned.

“That Jay wouldn’t be able to avoid you if something happened to Millie?” Nathan asked, a smirk playing on his lips.

“That Jay is a lot better than that scum, Taylor who just left Millie on their doorstep without a single idea of how she became passed out?” Kelsey asked. She had a point. Tom sighed and slid down on to the floor of the hospital corridor.

“I’m going to have to give him a chance, aren’t I?” Tom asked, not looking either of them in the eye. Kelsey and Nathan both said “yes” a bit too fast for Tom’s liking; not even thinking about the question.

  83. Douchebag tears

“Where have they gone to?” Millie asked Jay as Nathan left the room a couple of seconds after Kelsey and Tom left. Jay shrugged and squeezed Millie’s hand. “So you think Taylor left me on the doorstep?” Millie let a couple of tears roll down her cheeks. She faced away from Jay, trying not to let him see her cry over such a douchebag.

“Cry it all out, Mils,” Jay said and kissed Millie’s hand. They sat in silence for a couple of minutes. Kelsey, Tom and Nathan returned before they said anything more to each other.

“Oh, Millie,” Kelsey said and sat down in Tom’s seat before he could. Millie giggled at Tom’s reaction to this as he threw his hands up and pulled a ‘what the fuck’ face. “I would give you a hug but you look terrible and,” Kelsey leaned towards Millie and took a breath in through her nose. “You smell fucking awful too.” Millie started to pull her hands up to her face which meant that Jay had to let go of her hand. She covered her face. “I’ll see if one of the nurses can unhook you so you can get showered.”

Kelsey ordered Tom and Nathan to go and get a nurse. She then realised there was a nurse’s button next to Millie’s head. “They don’t have to know that,” Kelsey giggled before Nathan and Tom returned. The nurse gently pulled the IV needle out and took all the wires off of Millie’s chest. Kelsey helped Millie in the bathroom. As Millie didn’t have any clothes, Tom went down to one of the shops in the hospital and bought her some trackies, a couple of tops to choose from and a hoody. Kelsey grabbed the clothes off Tom and helped Millie into them.

Millie stepped back out of the bathroom looking like she would at home. She climbed back into bed and a nurse came along to stick her IV needle back in and place the wires back on her chest. A doctor came in a couple of minutes after and informed Millie and everyone else in the room about what happened. Millie had a bad reaction to Rohypnol which they assumed was put in her drink. Millie was told that she was needed to stay in for a couple of days to get her hydration level up and to keep a general eye on her. There had been a couple of cases where a person had a reaction to a drug, they were sent home and then some complications arose and the person died. Tom instantly didn’t want to leave Millie’s side but with some convincing from Kelsey, he was only going to stay until the evening.

  84. Nathan steps up

“You need to have some food, Jay,” Millie pointed out. “If you’re determined to stay here the night, you need to have something to eat.” Tom and Kelsey were still in the room but they were going to go home once Jay and Nathan had grabbed something to eat. Jay didn’t want to leave Millie’s side though. “Jay,” Millie sighed. “You haven’t eaten anything. Tom and Kelsey are staying so please just go and have something to eat with Nath. For me?” Jay looked up to Millie. Millie was begging with her eyes for him to eat something. He gave in and nodded. He kissed her on the forehead and left her.

“Tom can see you like her,” Nathan told Jay once they’d reached the food court downstairs. Jay nibbled his lip nervously.

“Does Millie know?” Jay asked, looking to Nathan from under his curls. Nathan shrugged.

“She might do now,” Nathan spoke. “But I’ve not been alone with her. Anything happen between the two of you while me and the other two were out?”

Jay shook his head. “She was quite drowsy and wasn’t really focussed properly.” Jay started to play with the bracelets on his wrist. He just wanted to get some food in him and get back to Millie. “I just sat by her side and held her hand.”

They both made their way over to Marks and Spencer’s and decided to just pick up a sandwich each. Nathan could pig out later when he was home, whereas Jay wasn’t up for a big, chunky meal. They sat down at a table in the big food court and cracked open their food. Jay started to watch all the people wandering around. It was quite busy as it was half five in the evening. He nearly choked on his food when he saw a familiar face.

“Nathan,” Jay coughed as he tried not to breathe in his food. “Is that Taylor?” Jay pointed over to where a guy who looked like Taylor was standing.

“Yes,” Nathan said. Jay stood up out of his seat, knocking his chair over. “What the fuck are you doing mate?”

“Why is he here?” Jay growled. “I’m going to fucking punch him. He shouldn’t be here when he was the one who put Mils in here.”

Nathan stood up from his seat. “Don’t you dare move,” Nathan warned. He went over to Taylor. “Alright, mate?” Nathan asked Taylor. Taylor smiled weakly.

“How is she?” Taylor asked. He wasn’t looking up at Nathan. He felt too guilty to make eye contact with anyone who cared about Millie.

“She’s in a hospital bed, had her stomach pumped, been passed out and clueless for a few hours. You left her on our doorstep. You didn’t even know if any of us would be awake. She could’ve died!” Nathan was becoming angrier with every word that left his mouth.

“If I’d been taken in and questioned, I would’ve been done. I couldn’t,” Taylor stopped.

“Why would you have been done? Because you were high; because you had coke on you still?” Nathan spat. Nathan shoved Taylor in the shoulder.

“Yeah, and I don’t think Millie would want me to be arrested.” Taylor spat back. He pushed Nathan back too.

“You drugged her in the first place, you fucking scum!” Nathan threw his fist into Taylor’s stomach. Taylor curled over in pain and fell to the floor. Jay watched this happen. He ran over to Nathan and Taylor as Nathan was being approached by security. Security grabbed both of Nathan’s arms and firmly started to take him towards the exit. “I’ll wait for Tom and Kelsey outside.” Nathan yelled to Jay. Jay couldn’t believe he did that. Nathan only did it because he knew Jay would do it otherwise. If Nathan was kicked out, there was no harm done, but if Jay got kicked out, Millie would be devastated for the night.

  85. Tomsey leave Jayllie

“Where’s Nath?” Tom asked as Jay came back into the room. Jay sat back down next to Millie. She’d gone back to sleep and was mumbling slightly in her sleep.

“Taylor showed up,” Jay started. Tom and Kelsey’s faces dropped. “So I was going to punch him for doing this to Millie but Nathan stopped me and punched Taylor himself. So Nathan’s now waiting outside for you.”

“Well, as you’re back, we might as well go,” Kelsey said. Tom pulled his face together, scorning at Kelsey. “Tom, she’s asleep and by the time she wakes up again, you’d have left normally anyway. So we might as well leave Jay and Millie to be together. You, Parker, need to rest. You being on edge isn’t going to make Millie relax and rest.” Kelsey raised her eyebrows at Tom. Tom sighed and turned back to Millie.

“See you in the morning, Mils,” Tom whispered into her forehead before kissing it. They both said goodbye to Jay as they left Millie and Jay to be in the hospital room by themselves.

  86. Finally

Sitting around waiting for a person to wake up from a nap or sleep can be quite boring. Jay found himself pacing around her room, playing with his phone, even going through Twitter replying to DMs from concerned fans that he talked to on a semi-regular basis. Eventually he fell asleep with his phone attached to his forehead. Millie woke up to see Jay asleep. She smiled at how much he looked like a child when he was sleeping – without the whole stubble thing going on. She reached out and stroked his cheek with her thumb. This was enough to jerk him out of his sleep. Millie tore her hand away and placed it on her lap again. She looked down sheepishly as Jay rubbed his eyes. He focussed on Millie and smiled.

“You’re awake,” he grinned. He moved his chair closer to her end of the bed.

“You’re awake too,” Millie returned the grin. Jay placed his hand on the side of her face; his palm was resting on her jaw, his fingers were lightly brushing through her hair and his thumb was brushing her cheekbone. Millie’s heart rate rose. She could hear it getting faster in her head and from the monitor. She blushed. Jay heard her heart rate getting faster. He saw Millie blush. Millie closed her eyes and scrunched her face up in embarrassment. “Ignore the monitor,” she nervously giggled. She still kept her eyes closed. She didn’t want to see Jay smirking. He wasn’t smirking.

Jay felt her cheek become warm from the blushing and his heart fluttered. Without realising, he’d pushed himself off the chair, leant over Millie and was pushing his lips against hers. He had one hand on the small of her back and lifting her up off the bed; with his other hand on the back of her neck. He could hear the heart monitor going crazy. Millie grabbed on to Jay’s t-shirt as he pulled her towards him. After a few perfect seconds, Jay gently laid Millie back onto the bed. Millie bit her lip and grinned. Jay couldn’t help but smile. He gently kissed her lips again before kissing her cheeks, chin, forehead and ending on her nose. Millie giggled as he did but she didn’t want to push him away. Neither of them wanted this moment to end; neither of them wanted to let go.

“This is gonna sound really cheesy but that was perfect,” Millie whispered. Jay sat back down in his chair. Millie could see he was blushing. She sat up properly on the bed and fussed with the bed remote to move the back bit. “I want to get out of here and I’ve been here less than a day.”

“Scoot over and I can lie in the bed and we’ll watch something on TV,” Jay suggested. He walked around to her right side so that he wouldn’t get tangled up in the IV drip. Millie shuffled over in the bed and let him slide under the sheet with her. Jay wrapped his arm around her waist and rubbed his thumb up and down her side. Jay picked up the TV remote and flicked the TV on.

  87. Something Mithan didn’t achieve

“Jay,” Millie giggled. “My legs work perfectly fine.” Jay had lifted Millie into the bridal position and carried her from the taxi up to her bedroom. He placed her on her bed gently.

“Well, as the hospital made you be wheelchaired out, I thought I’d carry out the same protocol when we got home.” Jay grinned at Millie before planting a kiss on her lips. He pulled away from her slightly. “Then, maybe, we could go out and get something to eat later?”

“Bird, are you asking me out on a date?” Millie asked. She smiled at him. Jay blushed and stood up properly.

“Forget it,” Jay loudly spoke and turned away from Millie. Millie raised herself so that she was on her knees.

“Jay,” she giggled. He turned back round to face her. He too had a smile on his face.

“Yes, I was asking you out on a date.” He pulled his cute, lop-sided grin and ran his hand through the curls on his head. Millie tilted her head, pretending that she was thinking this over. She grinned and crawled to the end of her bed on her knees. Jay stood in front of her. He cupped her face and kissed her.

“Can we order in instead?” Millie asked as Jay pulled away from her slightly. “Nathan’s not going to be in and we can eat it up here or downstairs and I might let you watch Avatar.” Millie winked at him.

Jay picked her up around the waist and laid her back down on the bed. He began to kiss her again. He tugged on her bottom lip, running his tongue along her lip that was inside his mouth. Millie softly giggled as he did so. She reached for the bottom of his top and lifted it along his body and over his head. She had on one of the tops that Tom had bought down in the hospital shop. Jay slid his hands underneath her top and pushed it up her body, taking it off her over her head. He moved his lips to her jaw and then to her neck. He slid the straps of her bra off her shoulders and started squeezing his hands on her breasts. Millie let out moans every now and then. Jay pulled Millie’s trackies off and played with the waistband of her underwear. Millie pushed her hips against him, feeling him hard underneath his jeans. She felt for his belt buckle and unhooked it. She pushed his jeans down so they were both in just their underwear.

Millie rolled Jay over so that she was leaning over him. She kissed him on the lips and made his way down his chin, his chest and teasing him at the waistband of his boxers. She pulled Jay’s boxers off and sat him upright. She took his shaft in her hand and started to move her hand up and down, receiving approving moans from Jay. Millie started to move her hand faster, feeling him pant on her shoulder more. “Mils,” Jay whispered, panting heavily still. “If you keep going, we won’t be able to get to you.” Millie giggled and slowed her hand movements down. Jay flipped Millie onto the bed and took her bra and underwear off. He gently slid a finger into her. She moaned lightly as his thumb found her clit. He slid another finger into her and started moving them in and out of her. Millie bit her bottom lip as she felt herself begin to peak. She cried his name as she came. Jay left no time for Millie to recover before he slid himself into her.

  88. Love over lust

Jay collapsed on the bed beside Millie. They were both breathless and sweaty. Jay snaked his arm around Millie’s waist and pulled her into him. He kissed her gently and slowly on the lips. “You’re amazing,” Jay said as he pulled away from Millie. She rolled her eyes and blushed a little. “I mean it. You’re amazing. This is amazing.” Jay sighed and smiled at Millie. “I love you.”

Millie smiled. She couldn’t even get rid of the smile. “You better,” she said. She nuzzled her face into the crook of Jay’s neck.

“Why’s that?” Jay asked. He had a slight feeling that he knew the answer.

“Because I love you too, Bird,” Millie giggled. She kissed his neck and then looked up at him. He had a look of relief on his face. He kissed her, pulling her up so that they were eye level.

The kissing became more passionate. Jay pulled Millie on top of him as he slid his fingers into her again. She became wet almost instantly. He sat them both upright and slid her onto him. This time round, it felt more passionate, more loving than just a moment of lust. This was how it was meant to be. Millie thought that if she wanted it to be just a lustful relationship, she would be with Nathan. She’d never felt this way about anyone. All the other guys she fooled about with were just guys she fooled about with; there was no feeling behind it whatsoever.

Of course, when Tom first introduced Millie to the boys, both Max and Nathan were attracted to her. The main thing that appealed them to her was the fact that Tom had told them that under no circumstances were they to try anything on with her. We all like something or someone we can’t have. For instance, you tell yourself you’re going to go on a diet and you won’t eat chocolate or crisps or fast food for this amount of time, but as soon as you say you are going to restrict yourself from it, the only thing you crave is that restriction. Neither of them tried anything on –or so everyone else thought – but there was always that wonder of what Millie would be like. On the other hand, Jay found Millie beautiful but he respected what Tom said and didn’t let himself become attracted to her. He got to know about Tom rather than her. He asked about what Tom was like while they grew up together, he asked about how Tom was as a big brother, how he was as a friend, what his friends were like; the conversation between them was very Tom-revolved. Jay thought this was the best way because if he got to know her, he could end up becoming attracted to her.

The next big time that all the boys and their families and friends met up was when they moved to their new house. The first night was very mellow and everybody chatted away to themselves whereas the next night was where they got trashed and broke in their new house with style.

  89. The house warming party – breaking in the house part one

“Millie,” Tom chuckled as he led her into his room. “You’re going to get drunk with all us lot tonight, okay?” Tom sat Millie down on the bed. He went to his secret stash of spirits and took out his tequila bottle. He placed two shot glasses on the side and poured the yellow liquid into both. He handed one to Millie who necked it without even thinking twice about it. She was nervous as she’d never been drunk with any of the boys. Sometimes she felt she can get a bit out of hand and didn’t want to be like that in front of these guys. They were her brother’s mates and she found them attractive; she knew she’d do something ridiculous.

“Next please,” Millie winced as she felt it burn her throat. She held the shot glass out to Tom who filled it. She necked it again whilst Tom hadn’t even looked at his. He quickly grabbed his from the side and followed suit. He filled both of their shot glasses another three times before they went to see the other guys.

Nobody else had showed up yet. They were coming a bit later. Millie went straight to the lads’ house as she didn’t go to the party the night before. She had work on the Friday night but managed to get the rest of the weekend off. Tom walked into the living room and Millie followed, bowing her head down and looking quite timid. She’d met them a few times but she still became anxious around them.

“You lot remember my sister, Millie, right?” Tom asked as he put his arm around his little sister. The lads nodded in agreement. Nathan and Max became wide-eyed and paid attention to her. Millie was oblivious to this and sat down next to Max. “Mils, you want a drink?” Tom asked. He headed over to the kitchen that had an open archway into the living room.

“I wouldn’t mind some more shots,” Millie grinned. Max smirked to himself. He could see that she was Tom’s sister. Tom pulled an unimpressed face and looked at Millie.

“You’re getting a beer,” Tom chuckled. He went off into the kitchen and opened the fridge part of the fridge freezer. He pulled a few cans of beer out for the rest of the lads and Millie. He handed them out, leaving Millie’s until last. She downed it in one and held the empty can to Tom. “Fuck!” Tom was impressed by his sister’s drinking skills. The other four lads were stunned at how fast she drank. Even Jay couldn’t drink his beer that fast. Millie shrugged and relaxed into the sofa. “I taught you fucking well!” Tom grinned. Millie rolled her eyes at her brother.

  90. The house warming party – breaking in the house part two

Max ended up talking to Millie whilst people started to show up. He greeted his brother and a couple of friends from home but went straight back to chatting to Millie. They were flirting but it was completely harmless flirting. Max wanted to make Millie feel completely at ease. A couple of Tom’s friends from home walked through the front door and Millie jumped up to greet them.

“Jake! Theo!” Millie squealed as she received a hug off of each of the lads. She grabbed their hands and dragged them into the kitchen where Tom was chatting to a girl. “Pecker, look who’s turned up!” Millie grinned at Tom and pulled Jake and Theo towards Tom.

Tom pulled them both into a hug. Millie was pulled into the same hug by Jake and Tom. She giggled as they did. They all pulled out of the hug and Tom and Theo went off chatting to one another. Jake had kept his arm around Millie and lowered it so he had his hand on her lower back.

“Fancy picking up where we left off?” Jake asked, pulling Millie into him.

Millie laughed in his face before replying, “No!” She pushed him away from her but he didn’t go easily. “It was nothing more than a kiss, Jake.” Millie pushed him completely off of her. She turned around and pulled a beer out of the fridge freezer. Jake cornered her against it, placing his hands either side of her head.

“It felt like more than a kiss to me,” Jake whispered. “In fact,” he took her free hand and placed it on his crotch where she felt him erect under his jeans. “It definitely feels like it should be more than a kiss right now.”

Millie pushed Jake away from her as she said, “Get off of me, jerk!” Jake walked off smirking and chuckling to himself.

Millie threw her head back against the fridge. “Hey, Mils,” Max sang as he came into the kitchen. Jay was nearly passed out on the floor but otherwise it was deserted now. Millie acknowledged his presence but was too busy being angry at herself to respond completely. “You alright?” Max walked over to Millie and pulled her in for a hug. She sighed into his neck.

“Just angry at myself,” she whispered. Max leant away slightly and stroked her cheek with his thumb.

“Anything you want to chat about?” He asked her. She sighed again and debated whether to tell Max or not. She was still quite tipsy and he looked quite hammered himself. But he got round to speaking before she even thought of what to say. “You can tell me all the other stuff you can’t tell Tom.” He winked at her and kissed her forehead. She looked up to him again.

“Can we go to your room?” Millie stroked her thumb comfortingly up and down his side. Max nodded and took her hand in his.

  91. The house warming party – breaking in the house part three

Max pulled Millie into his room. It wasn’t exactly the cleanest but it was cleaner than she’d ever seen it in the other house. Max shook the duvet so it landed neatly on his bed. He sat down on it and patted the patch of bed next to him. Millie threw herself down. Max wrapped an arm around her.

“So, spill,” Max chuckled. “What’s Jake got on you?” Millie leaned away from Max and threw him a questioning look. Max chuckled again. “I saw him have you against the fridge so I left and came back in when he’d left.”

“He thinks that because we kissed, something more should happen,” Millie fussed with Max’s duvet. Max tried to stifle a laugh but he couldn’t hold it in. Millie grabbed one of the pillows that had fallen onto the floor and whacked Max with it. “It’s not funny, Max!”

Max laughed some more. “I’m laughing at him, not you.” Max calmed down a bit. “From just one kiss? Wow, you must be a good kisser!” Millie smirked to herself. “So, this kiss, did it happen on a night out or did he take you out on a date or what?”

“I went out with my friends, he went out with his friends and we ended up at the same night club,” Millie started to explain. “He’s friends with Tom so I started dancing with him and the other guys in his group but he got a bit jealous when I started to dance with the others. So, he kept dancing with me in the end. We drank more, he bought me more drinks and we ended up drunkenly kissing. However, I had to go home to one of my friend’s houses so I couldn’t go home with him. We’ve never talked about it since really.”

“Ignore him,” Max shrugged. “Or,” Max lowered his voice and moved his mouth to her ear. “You could always tell Tom. He wouldn’t be too happy with it.” Max chuckled softly into Millie’s ear. Millie laughed too.

“That’s mean,” Millie laughed. She turned to face Max on the bed. “I can’t do that to Jake.” Max laughed and fell backwards onto his bed. Millie laughed at him giggling to himself now. “I’m going to go back to the party. I think you need to man up and stop giggling like a little girl.” Millie joined in giggling with him. Max managed to stop himself giggling and propped himself up on one elbow.

“Kiss me?” Max requested.

“What?” Millie giggled. She closed her eyes tight shut and reopened them. Max was still in the same position, if not closer to her than before.

“Kiss me?” Max asked again. He was pushing himself closer to her. “I want to see what Jake is fussing about.” Millie rolled her eyes and leant down to him, firmly placing her lips on his mouth.

  92. The house warming party – breaking in the house part four

Millie pulled away from Max after a few seconds. She winked at him before she stood up from the bed, regained her balance and walked out of Max’s room. She walked straight into Tom as she closed Max’s door. He threw his arm around her shoulders as he regained his balance.

“What you doing in Max’s room?” Tom slurred. He pulled a stupid grin and tilted his head down slightly.

“Shagging him, Pecker,” Millie laughed. Tom put his hand on her face and pushed her away. Max came out of his room with a massive grin on his face. Millie rolled her eyes at him.

“Thank you Millie for making my night,” Max winked at Millie. Tom pulled a disgusted face and pulled Max into a headlock.

“You dirty bastard,” Tom laughed as he rubbed the top of Max’s shaven head with his knuckles. Tom knew they hadn’t as Max wasn’t like this and fully dressed once he’d just got laid. Tom and Max started to drunkenly play fight in the middle of the hallway.

Jay didn’t pass out in the kitchen. He heard a load of commotion coming from the hallway. Millie was now standing at the doorway that linked the living room and the hallway. Jay leaned against her, grinning down at her as she looked up at him with a pout on her face.

“What’s going on?” Jay asked, indicating to everyone huddled in and around the hallway.

“Max and Tom are play fighting,” she giggled.

Jay lifted his arm up and she rested her head on his chest. They watched the two morons play fighting before everyone was in fits of laughter. Tom and Max straightened themselves out before Tom made a beeline for Millie. She was an easy target as she was the only person without a drink in their hands at that moment. Tom picked Millie up around the waist and gently dropped her to the floor. It was their turn to play fight on the floor now. This is what she missed most about Tom moving away from Bolton. One day, she hoped that she could live with Tom again so they could piss about and hang out like they used to.

  93. What will become of Jayllie?

Millie woke up in her bed alone. Her flat was completely silent. Millie rolled onto her side and picked her phone up from the bedside table. She saw a message on the screen.

Jay: Morning beautiful :) I had to be at work early this morning. Got my phone off all day so I’ll talk to you later. Love you xx

Millie instantly had a smile appear on her face. She jumped out of bed and walked across her room. Oh yeah, as soon as Millie and Jay started dating, Millie borrowed some money off of Tom and got her own place. She didn’t think of it to be fair to Nathan if he was living in a house with a couple. She found a flat that was a decent size, affordable and about halfway between Jay and Nathan’s house and Tom’s flat that he shared with Kelsey. Jay stayed round most evenings and had the vital necessities moved into her place. She thought about asking him to move in with her but then realised how nice it was to be able to say “leave” to Jay whenever she pleased. They had been together for seven months now and she thought that they should probably be living together. She just wasn’t sure if she could live completely with him.

Millie was now used to what he called a “routine”. She was used to waking up with him gone from her bed. She was used to going to sleep by herself. She was used to not being able to see him for a couple of weeks at a time. She was used to not being able to talk to him at convenient times when he was in LA with the rest of the lads. But when she did get to talk to him and spend time with him, she loved every moment.

Jay felt exactly the same. He loved spending every moment he could with Millie. He often wondered why they hadn’t moved in together. Maybe it would be better if he looked for a place of his own. Maybe it was time for Nathan and him to be moving into their own places. Siva had moved in with Jade to their own place. Tom and Kelsey were in their own place. Max was living in his own bachelor pad. Maybe it was their time to live apart. ‘That would be weird to live without Nathan,’ Jay thought to himself.

Nathan seemed to be with Ashley still. She’d even started moving in some of her stuff into his room. He liked having her over and tried to put up with her but it was still very much a sex-only relationship. He’d actually met a nice, New York girl when they filmed for the Live on Fuse gig. They’d swapped numbers and were texting and calling each other a lot. He quite liked her too. Her name was Brittany and she was funny, sarcastic and everything he kind of needed. The only problem was getting rid of Ashley.

**

“Keep your eyes closed,” Jay chuckled as he removed his hands away from Millie’s face. Millie giggled and kept her eyes tight shut.

Jay had been all secretive on the way to ... wherever they were. She heard him fussing with some keys before the small squeak of a door was made. Jay took both of Millie’s hands in his and led her inside. It smelt like freshly painted walls. She loved the smell. It meant a change and maybe that’s what she needed. Her boots clacked as she walked across the wooden flooring. Her footsteps echoing around the empty place they were in.

“Can I open my eyes yet?” Millie asked. She felt a pair of lips on hers. She knew it was Jay and kissed him back. They stood their making out with each other for a couple of minutes.

“Just a couple more steps,” Jay whispered once their lips had pulled apart. Millie sighed which caused Jay to laugh. He guided her a couple more steps forward.

“Seriously? Two steps? Am I allowed to open my eyes now?” Millie asked. She couldn’t help but have a smile on her face.

“Oh, go on then,” Jay laughed. Millie opened her eyes to reveal the inside of a fancy looking townhouse. Millie looked up to Jay, confused at what was happening.

“I bought my own place,” Jay grinned at her. “Nathan and I talked and thought we should find our own places to live. The others aren’t living with anyone apart from their girlfriends, apart from Max. And so we thought, why are we living together? Look, I’ve got a room for Tia to have to herself.” Jay was a bit too excited for a room to be just a tank. He pulled Millie over nonetheless and showed her the wall-size tank. Tia was bathing herself under one of the heaters. She looked like she didn’t want to be disturbed. Jay turned Millie around in his arms and kissed her again.

“So, do I get a tour of the whole house?” Millie asked, tugging Jay’s bottom lip with her teeth. He smiled and kissed her again.

“I have one question to ask first,” Jay suggested. He turned Millie to face the double doors from Tia’s room that led out into the back garden.

Was this the moment Millie had been thinking about for the past month? She’d thought about it a lot. If the question came up, she knew her answer; she’d debated the pros and cons and finally made her mind up as to which choice she would make.

Jay bent down onto one knee. Millie’s face fell into shock. She was not expecting this question! Her heart rate increased and she could feel her breath quicken slightly.

“Millicent Jemima Parker,” Jay smirked. He pulled a box out of the back pocket of his jeans. Millie’s hand moved to her mouth as she couldn’t believe he was doing this. Jay slowly opened the box to reveal a silver key. “Will you move in with me?” Jay asked. He tried to hide a laugh but from Millie’s reaction he couldn’t contain it.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Bird?” She cried. She was in tears but it wasn’t disappointed or sad tears; she was glad it wasn’t him proposing; she knew what she’d say to that question too. She hit Jay in the arm as she joined him on her knees. “Of course, I’ll fucking move in with you. On one condition.”

“Anything,” Jay grinned, handing Millie the key and chucking the box across the room.

“The tour includes christening every room.” Millie winked and stuck her tongue between her teeth at him.

The Short Stories of Jayllibies

1. The getaway

Millie didn’t want to leave her babies, neither did Jay but they had a flight to catch and as Nathan, Tom and Kelsey were all willing to look after the twins, Millie thought it best to do it now than later. With one final cuddle and kiss for both Noah and Kennedy, Jay and Millie left them at security and headed for their opportunity to get away. Less than two hours on the plane and they landed in the south of France. It was cold and bit at their faces but it was a couple of days without anyone else. Jay let them into the cottage. Well, it was more of a farmhouse that had been converted but there was a wood fire that had been lit for them and it instantly made them warm. Millie dumped her bag in the hallway and sat in front of the fire, stripping off the extra layers until she was left in her leggings and the top she was wearing. Jay sat behind her, stripping off his extra layers too. Millie leant back into him as she stared into the fire. Jay slowly slid his hands under her top, resting his cold hands on her abdomen, sliding the tips of his finger under the waistband of her leggings. They just sat there leant against each other for a while. It was nice for them to relax and not have to worry about one or both of the twins waking up. Millie closed her eyes for a few minutes as she felt Jay’s chest rising and falling against her back. She matched her breathing to his as he wrapped one of his arms around her collarbone and shoulders. He slowly kissed the spot behind Millie’s ear. “Did you know all four of us lads are going to be groomsmen at Tom and Kelsey’s wedding?” Jay whispered, not wanting to make too much noise in the quiet place.

“I know,” Millie smiled. “I’ve known for months. I’m a bridesmaid. And when Jade’s not been there to help Kelsey with maid of honour duties, I’ve stepped in. I think they’ve still invited Harri to the wedding though.”

“Will Harri actually come to the wedding though?” Jay asked. Millie turned around and knelt between Jay’s legs.

“I actually don’t know,” Millie shrugged. She started to play with the bottom of Jay’s top, bundling it up and twisting it in her fingers, slowly making it baggy around his hips. “Nathan really loved her and actually saw a future with her.”

“Unlike with you,” Jay mumbled, slightly smirking to himself because all he could see in his future was Millie and the twins.

“He deserves to be happy in the end. He deserves to end up with a girl who will love him more than he loves her and wants to give him everything.” Millie sighed before looking up to Jay. “Make him happy please.”

“He is happy,” Jay chuckled. “He has the band, he has us, he has the twins who love him, and he has everything he wants. He has the most fans too.” Jay was slightly jealous about this. Yeah, Jay still had quite a few fans that said he was their favourite but since being with Millie and having the twins, that number fell.

“He’s the only single one now, so he would have more fans. Remember when you were single and Tom and Siva weren’t. Remember when they used to be jealous of all the attention you got?” Millie smiled at the thought of girls chucking themselves over Jay. “If they’re backing off, they’re respecting the fact you’ve got a loving girlfriend and they want you to be happy by not stirring shit.”

“Maybe loving wife someday?” Jay asked.

“Suggestion or proposal?” Millie asked, leaning away from Jay slightly.

“Suggestion; if it was a proposal, it would be much better thought out,” Jay chuckled, wrapping his arms around Millie’s hips and pulling her closer to him. “It’ll be when you least expect it too.” Jay winked at her before kissing her.

  2. Table bump

Jay pulled Millie on top of him as he lay backwards, forgetting the living room table was behind him and smacking the back of his head on it. “Ow,” he laughed before shuffling forward slightly so they were both out of the way of the table. He slipped his hands into the back of her leggings and under her underwear to firmly grab onto her arsecheeks. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Millie giggled as she pulled her lips away from Jay slightly. He nodded and hummed, wanting no more distractions.  Millie’s hand found the back of Jay’s head, where he hit it and where he was developing a bump on his head. “You’ve got a bump, bird.” Millie sat up and Jay sat up with her.

“It’ll be gone by the morning,” Jay grumbled. He attempted to kiss Millie again but she looked concerned. “Look, if it’s still there with a bruise in the morning, we’ll go get it looked at. But for now…” Jay pulled the front of Millie’s leggings away from her belly and hooked his fingers in her underwear, pulling that away from her abdomen. “…I think…” He slid his spare hand into her underwear, circling her clit with his middle finger. “…we should…” He slid his finger into her slowly and deeply. “…maybe get back…” He took his finger out and put it in his mouth, sucking all her wetness off his finger. “…to what we were doing.” Millie stood up from Jay’s lap and pulled her leggings and her underwear down. “Good girl,” Jay smirked and pulled her into him for a tongue-filled kiss. Millie pulled Jay’s top up and he took hers off at the same time, biting her breasts as he did. Jay raised his hips slightly as he slid his jeans off. Millie took him in her hands and started to gently pump her hand up and down as she lowered her head down his body. She proceeded to put him in her mouth and began to suck. His breathing became quicker as she continued, getting him deeper in her mouth. Before she knew it, she felt his hands starting to tense in her hair and he released in her mouth. She swallowed his cum, leaving the taste of him in her mouth; she moved her mouth to his to give him a kiss, sliding her tongue in his. “Thanks for that,” he chuckled.

“For all the times you had me tasting myself,” Millie giggled back.

  3. Nice, bloody steak

Millie’s stomach rumbled. It was the morning after they’d arrived at their getaway destination and neither had the willpower to leave the comfiness of the queen size bed they were in. Millie had her legs entwined with Jay’s and was playing with his fingers. “Jay,” she whispered, seeing he was still asleep. “Jay?”

“What?” he mumbled. He kept his eyes closed but started to rub his hand up and down Millie’s bare back.

“Are you awake?” she giggled. Jay couldn’t help but smile and start to send tickling sensations down her back as he ran his fingertips along her spine.

“Your stomach woke me.”

“Because you haven’t got me food.” Millie giggled as Jay rolled on top of her. “Please get me food,” she whispered. She lightly grinded her crotch against him.

“You can’t do that and send me out for food,” he chuckled and bent down to kiss her.

“But then you know what’s waiting for you when you get back,” Millie giggled before Jay kissed her again. “You won’t get food if I haven’t got anything to offer.” She lightly grinded against him again. He groaned before rolling out of bed and getting dressed.

“You have to keep this offer though,” Jay chuckled, shoving a jumper Kelsey had chosen for him for Christmas and adding a hoody and his coat on top of it. “No taking it back.”

“I get food and sex out of this,” Millie said in a serious tone, “why would I back out of this?”

Jay laughed before climbing back onto the bed, fully dressed this time, and gently kissed Millie. “Anything in particular?”

“Meat,” she grinned. Jay pulled an unimpressed face. “A nice, bloody steak.”

“Why don’t you go and get it then?” Jay smiled, lying down next to Millie. He wrapped the duvet around her before pulling her into him.

“It’s cold outside,” she giggled and snuggled into the duvet.

“If you weren’t naked, you wouldn’t be so cold,” Jay whispered before kissing the back of her head and rolling off the bed. “I’ll get you a steak.” He winked at her and ventured out into the freezing cold light snow that was happening outside.

  4. Snowstorm

Millie and Jay turned the TV on before the taxi was due to pick them up from their farmhouse/cottage. “A heavy snowfall is expected tonight,” the weatherman was saying in French. Thankfully, they’d managed to work out how to get subtitles up in English. “Already, there has been over two feet of snow and it doesn’t look like it’s easing up anytime soon.”

“Our plane’s going to be cancelled, isn’t it?” Millie sighed as she sat back down on the sofa. “We won’t be able to see our babies.”

“Mils,” Jay smiled. “Well, at least they’re in safe hands. Kelsey wouldn’t let any of the guys piss about near the babies.”

“Nor would Nath.” Millie smiled as Jay joined her back on the sofa. “He loves those babies. Sometimes I think he loves them more than I do.”

“No one could ever love them more than us,” Jay mumbled as he pushed Millie’s hair behind her ear and kissed the spot where her jaw meets her cheekbone. They both heard the taxi beep outside. Millie quickly kissed Jay before standing up and grabbing her sports bag with her stuff in it for the getaway. Jay stood up and grabbed his suitcase with some of Millie’s stuff in it too and they headed out into the taxi, making sure they locked the door behind them and left the key in an envelope under the doormat.

The taxi driver struggled to get on to the main road but the roads were mostly clear once they hit them. They thought it was looking good until they started getting near the airport and didn’t hear or see a single plane leave the airport. They both gave each other a worried look. The taxi pulled up outside the airport; Jay thanked the driver and had a very brief, basic conversation in French with him before jumping out of the taxi and rushing inside from the cold. Millie and Jay both looked up to the flight information screens and saw all the flights were cancelled. “Shit,” Millie sighed. She pulled her phone out and hit Nathan’s number. “Nath?” she asked as he answered, the line crackly with the bad weather conditions.

“Hi, Mils,” he chuckled. “What’s up?”

“There’s a bad snowstorm so all the flights have been cancelled,” Millie explained as she followed Jay over to an information desk. “Not sure when we’ll be home.”

  5. Easing up?

Jay wrapped his arm around Millie and tried to get her to relax but she was sat bolt upright and staring at the flight information screens. It was still only 11:34pm on the 30th December but Millie was hoping to be home before the twins woke up in the morning. “Millie, we’ll get home,” Jay whispered in her ear. “Look, if the weather isn’t going to ease up by morning, we’ll hire a car and drive to Calais, get a ferry and then get someone to pick us up from Dover, yeah?” Millie nodded and relaxed a little. She ended up falling asleep against Jay at 1:30am. Jay managed to stay awake until she woke at half 6. That was when he crashed and started dozing for a bit.

“Good morning,” the announcer said in French first before repeating the announcement in English, German, Spanish, Italian and Portuguese. “It looks like the snow has stopped falling so we’re going to clean up the runways and then start getting you on your flights. We apologise for any inconvenience this may have caused.” Then the tone to signal the next language sounded.

Millie wanted to wake Jay but he’d stayed awake all night so she left him doze on her shoulder. Their flight wasn’t being called yet so she didn’t want to disturb him for nothing. Another three hours passed before their flight was called to check-in. “Jay,” Millie whispered as she shook him gently. He stirred but only to move his head into a more comfortable position. “Jay,” Millie giggled. She shoved him a bit harder which jerked him awake. “Our flight’s being called.”

“What’s the time?” Jay asked.

“1:40,” Millie chuckled, standing up from her seat and grabbing her bags. “You’ve had 7 hours sleep.”

Jay followed suit and grabbed his suitcase from next to him. “How long before we get home?” Jay mumbled, wiping the sleep from his eyes. Millie headed over to the shortest queue for their flight. Jay rested his forehead on the back of Millie’s head. “Milliiiieeeeeeeee, when can I go to bed?”

Millie giggled and turned around under his forehead. “You’ve had more sleep than me, you arse,” she smiled and poked him in the chest. “You can sleep in a few hours. Nath can look after Ken and Noah while we sleep so we can stay up tonight, yeah?”

Jay nodded and gave Millie a kiss. A few fans noticed them in the queue. Jay smiled at them, practically inviting them over to have a chat and a couple of pictures. “Where are the babies?” the youngest of the three girls asked. All three girls started to look around them.

“They’re at home with Kelsey, Tom and Nathan,” Jay smiled and kissed Millie’s forehead. “We just had a few days to ourselves.” Millie looked up to Jay who smirked down to her.

“Yeah, we know what that means,” the oldest of the girls smiled.

“What does it mean?” the middle girl asked, confusion all over her face.

“The headboard got a lot of use,” the youngest girl giggled. Millie blushed and buried her face in Jay’s chest.

“Oh, yes it did,” Jay laughed and rubbed his hand up and down Millie’s back. Millie pushed Jay’s chest jokingly. “What?” Jay laughed and ran his hand over her cheek. “They know we’re having sex; how’d you think they think we got two beautiful babies? They didn’t show up on the doorstep like Harry Potter, did they?!” Jay chuckled as Millie mumbled a “shut up” as she turned around and rested her back on his chest. The three girls stayed with them until they checked in. They headed off in their own direction after a hug from Jay each.

  6. You’re driving

“Look out for mummy and daddy,” Nathan cooed to Noah who was in his arms. Kennedy was asleep in their pushchair, as she had stayed awake most of the night from a nightmare. “Look,” Nathan pointed as Millie and Jay came through the arrivals gate. “Look, No, who is it?” Noah looked in the direction of where Nathan was pointing and his face brightened when he saw Millie.

“Mumumumum,” he grinned. Millie’s face brightened when she saw her little boy, stretching his arms out to her. She threw her bags at Jay and rushed over to take Noah out of Nathan’s arms.

“Heya, my little lion,” Millie smiled and planted kisses all over Noah’s face and head. “Hey, Nath,” Millie smiled and flashed her eyes up to Nathan quickly before going back to hugging Noah. Jay gave Nathan a hug and thanked him for picking them up. Nathan picked up Millie’s bags as Millie carried Noah out to the car and pushed Kennedy who was still asleep in her pushchair. Nathan collapsed the pushchair and loaded the bags into Jay and Millie’s car before going to get in the passenger seat to find Millie sitting there with Jay in the back. “You’re driving,” Millie smiled, handing the keys back to Nathan. He rolled his eyes and chuckled before closing the passenger door and going round to his side of the car. He started the engine and started the drive home.

Pulling up in the parking space beside the house, Nathan carried both the twins into the house and put them up in their rooms before waking Jay and Millie up and carrying their bags up to their room. He had to come back outside to wake them up. Jay dragged himself in and went straight up to bed. Millie decided to crash on the sofa, her head resting peacefully on Nathan’s lap.

  7. Awkward hug

Millie woke up to Nathan stroking her hair; just lightly running his fingertips through her hair. “Have the babies not woken up yet?” Millie mumbled, still resting her head on Nathan’s lap.

“Nah,” Nathan chuckled. “You’ve only been asleep for an hour.” Millie sat up and leant against Nathan. They sat in silence for a few moments. “What’s up?” Nathan asked, not sure on what else to ask.

“Nath,” Millie said as she turned to face Nathan. “Have you heard from Harri lately?”

Nathan shook his head, looking down to his lap and not looking at Millie. “She’s not answered any of my calls or texts. I think she might be avoiding me.” He smiled slightly, thinking of how ridiculous it was of Harri not to reply to one of them.

“I think Kelsey and Tom have still invited her to the wedding,” Millie whispered. Nathan nibbled on the inside of his lip and nodded. He gulped and blinked his eyes quickly. “Nath, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t’ve said anything.”

“No,” Nathan shook his head. “No, it’s not your fault. I mean, it’s no one’s fault. Just mine. I shouldn’t have fallen for her. I was stupid for being in love with her.”

“You’re not stupid for falling in love with her.” Millie shuffled closer to Nathan, her knees touching his thighs. “She’s stupid for leaving. She’s the moron who should’ve stayed.” A tear ran over Nathan’s eyelid and Millie felt guilty for being the one to cause it. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around her waist. “This is the most awkward positioned hug I’ve been in,” Millie giggled. It was a sight; she had her bum sticking out and nearly had her boobs in Nathan’s face. Nathan couldn’t help but chuckle too. Millie stood up from the couch and pulled Nathan up, pulling him into her for a proper hug. They stood like this for ages; Nathan softly crying into Millie’s shoulder. Millie stroked the back of Nathan’s head to try and comfort him but he continued to cry. “Fuck, Nath, I just want you to be happy.”

‘I’m never going to be happy unless I’m with you,’ Nathan thought to himself. “I want to be happy too,” he said instead.

  8. Can’t be any worse than Jay and Tom

Everybody was heading to Jade and Siva’s place for the New Year’s party. Jay had asked his parents earlier on in the month if they could take the twins for the night. They agreed as they didn’t spend much time with them at Christmas. Jay gave strict instructions on when to feed them, when to put them down for their naps, how to respond to them when they start crying; he was acting like his parents had never looked after a baby, let alone twins before. “Jay,” his mum chuckled. “I think we know how to handle a pair of twins. They can’t be any worse than you and Tom.” Jay sighed in relief. He hugged his mum and dad before they set off home, back to Nottingham.

Jay and Millie headed over to Siva and Jade’s place, meeting Max and Britt outside the flat. Max gave Millie a big hug, the scent of beer already on his breath, making her giggle as he playfully bit her neck. Max went to hug Jay which left Millie and Britt in a slightly awkward situation. “Hey, do you think we can grab a drink and then go off and talk for a bit?” Millie suggested to Britt. Britt looked to Max before nodding. Millie smiled at Britt before making her way inside. She grabbed a beer from the fridge before saying hi to Tom, Kelsey, Jade and Siva. Nathan wasn’t coming over for another couple of hours as he wanted to calm down after Millie bringing up Harri. Kelsey jumped up from the sofa and bounded over to Millie, nearly knocking her over. “Hey, Kels,” Millie giggled, handing her beer to Tom before wrapping her arms tightly around Kelsey’s back.

“I missed you,” Kelsey whined. “Jade and Siva went to Ireland and ditched me.” She stuck out her bottom lip, hoping for some sympathy.

“And what about Britt?” Millie asked, a smirk on her lips.

“Too busy shagging Max,” Kelsey shrugged. Max, Jay and Britt entered the room at that point. Millie turned to Britt and raised her eyebrows to her. Britt nodded and they both left the others, leaving them slightly confused until Max and Jay explained what was happening.

  9. Millie gets it off her chest

“Did you have a good Christmas at home?” Millie asked, this being the first thing she could think of. Thank God it was relevant.

“Yeah, it snowed most of the time but luckily, it didn’t snow the day I flew back here,” she said, not looking up to Millie. “What exactly is your problem with me?” she asked after there were a few moments of silence exchanged between the two of them.

“I thought Jade explained it all?” Millie wondered aloud. “Well, basically, I was drugged by my ex boyfriend and I had a bad reaction so I was out for a few days and I had this dream and you kind of slept with Jay while I went missing and then he hid it from me and I didn’t trust him anyway and yeah, I don’t trust you because of it.”

Britt just laughed. She didn’t say anything to begin with; just laughed. “I’m not like that,” she giggled. “I can’t even think about going near a taken guy.” Millie let out a sigh of relief. “And honestly, I’m kinda falling for Max. I don’t usually “fall” for guys but I’ve never felt like this around a guy. I mean, it’s been over a year since we’ve first met and I’m so happy.”

Millie still felt a bit of resentment towards Britt as she still thought that Harri would be a better match. But then would that mean that Britt would be with Nathan? And then would that mean everything would happen? Millie shook the thoughts out of her head. “I’m happy,” Millie smiled. “I’m glad he’s found someone he’s crazy about too. But stay away from Jay.” She made it come across as a joke but there was a part of her that was serious. And Britt could sense it. Britt knew she was going to have to try a bit harder than normal to get Millie to trust her.

  10. Drinks race

Millie and Britt were giggling by the time they came back to the flat. Nathan was the one who had to open the door for them as he came up as they came back from their walk. The other lads hadn’t wasted any time in drinking. The coffee table was full of beer bottles already. Nathan and Millie both headed to the fridge; Millie pouring a glass of wine and Nathan pulling a can of beer out. “Right, if we’re gonna catch up with them, we need to down these,” Millie grinned. “Race ya?” Nathan developed a devilish smirk and nodded. They both started to neck their drinks. With Nathan having his in a beer can, he had to keep letting air in and this meant he had to let less liquid out where Millie had hers in a glass. She managed to finish her drink before Nathan and celebrated this loudly. She poured herself another glass and drank that before finishing the bottle and taking the full glass into the living room. Nathan pulled his third beer out of the fridge and followed Millie to join the others.

The alcohol hit her quite quickly and she was in her giggly mood within half an hour. Jay liked this tipsy mood of Millie. “Can we pretend that none of us have babies or are about to get married and play the games we used to?” Max asked, slurring his words slightly.

“Yeah, but what games, Max?” Nathan chuckled, knowing that his bandmate always played the most childish games when he was drunk. “And don’t say spin the bottle mate.” Everybody laughed as Max huffed. That was his favourite drunken game. Basically, he liked to get to kiss other people and not feel guilty about it.

“Not even one short game of it?” Max sulked. Everybody glanced at one another before shrugging.

“Fine,” Tom laughed, “one short game when everybody’s a bit more drunk.”

“Let’s try and remember this New Year,” Siva laughed.

“I had to be sober,” Millie giggled. “I was pregnant with the twins this time last year so had to look after everyone.”

“Well, that just means you can get as drunk as me this year,” Kelsey cheered. Millie jumped off the sofa and scooted over to Kelsey who was on the floor, wrapping her arms around Kelsey’s waist and hugging her. “Are you already a little drunk?” Kelsey slurred, grabbing Millie’s chin and looking her in the eyes. Millie nodded her head as she gave Kelsey a grin. “You’re going to be the first one to throw up, I bet.”

“Brilliant, then me and Jay will have to carry her home,” Nathan laughed and rolled his eyes at Jay. Jay laughed too and nodded in agreement.

  11. Spin the bottle part 1

“I feel like I’m 15 again,” Millie giggled as she buried her face into Jay’s chest. Max had finally got his way and they were all sat around the coffee table, now that it was clear of the beer bottles that were cluttering it earlier on in the evening. It was still only ten o’clock at night. Two hours left before the new year started.

Max placed one of the empty beer bottles on the table and spun it around. It landed on Millie. Max grinned. “Well, well, well,” he laughed. “Is this going to be a repeat of the flat party?” he asked.

“You two have already kissed?” Tom asked, stunned that this had been kept silent for four years.

“We were both drunk, it’s fine,” Millie giggled as she crawled around the table to Max. He placed a hand on her cheek and gently kissed her, knowing that if it were more than a peck or a long peck on the lips, Jay and Tom would want to cut his balls off. “Is that it?” Millie joked before crawling back to lean next to Jay. Britt was next to spin. For her it landed on Jay. Jay was a bit cautious about this and turned to Millie, eyebrows raised in question at whether she was okay with this. “It’s only a peck, isn’t it,” she stated. As Britt and Jay kissed, she looked over to Kelsey, not wanting to see it. She felt Jay next to her again and he kissed her temple.

Siva was next and it landed on Nathan. Nathan made his good boy face before giving Siva a hug. “Play nicely,” Kelsey giggled. Nathan rolled his eyes and gave Siva a quick peck on the lips. Nathan spun next, having it land on Millie. “This should be interesting,” Kelsey whispered into Millie’s ear. Millie blushed before getting up to go over to Nathan. Nathan stood up. It was a bit awkward to begin with as they just stood and smiled at each other for a few seconds. “Just kiss already,” Kelsey shouted and then giggled. Millie really felt the alcohol hit her and her wine cheeks came out.

“Are you blushing Millie?” Max asked, laughter following quickly after.

Millie hid her face. “No, it’s just my wine cheeks,” she squealed. “Jay, look away, please,” Millie asked.

“Really?” he asked. He didn’t see the problem.

“Please,” Millie whined. She didn’t want him to see the pair of them kissing. She knew it wasn’t just going to be a quick peck on the lips. Jay sighed before turning his head away. Millie quickly gave Nathan a kiss but it wasn’t just a peck. It was a long, passionate kiss. No tongues were involved but it had more feeling than just a drunken game would usually give it. Millie pulled away from Nathan and sat herself back between Jay and Kelsey. Jade was next and it landed on Siva. Jay spun the bottle once Jade and Siva shared their very drunk, passionate kiss. His turn landed on Kelsey. “You don’t understand how long I’ve wanted this to happen!” Millie exclaimed a bit too excitedly.

“What?” everybody in the room chuckled in disbelief.

“Oh come on, the two of them are unbelieveably cute together.”

“You do realise I’m the love of your life and the father of your children, right?” Jay laughed. Millie nodded but still had been waiting for this moment since she first saw a post on Tumblr of the two of them cuddling each other. Jay and Kelsey leant over Millie’s lap and kissed. They pulled away but Millie wasn’t satisfied.

“That wasn’t a proper kiss, Bird,” Millie giggled. “Give her a proper one.” Jay quickly looked at Tom who rolled his eyes and groaned, pretty much giving him the okay. Jay placed his hand on Kelsey’s neck and gave her a proper kiss, sliding his tongue in her mouth. “Okay, that’s enough now,” Millie smiled, finally happy that she’d got a Jaysey moment out of the two of them.

  12. Spin the bottle part 2

“Millie’s turn,” Jay whispered in her ear as he handed her the bottle.

“If it lands on you, I’m asking for 7 minutes in the cupboard,” Millie giggled. She took the bottle from Jay’s hand and placed it on the coffee table, giving it a spin once it hit the wood. It spun around seven times before it started to slow. It slowly spun around Max, Britt, Siva, Nathan, Jade, Jay, Millie, Kelsey and then stopped on Tom. “Ha-ha, I get to spin again,” Millie laughed.

“No, you don’t,” Max slurred.

“Ew, Max, he’s my brother,” Millie squealed like an eight year old who was told she had to kiss a boy. “There is no incestuousness going on tonight, thanks.” Millie quickly spun the bottle again before Max could object. This time, it landed on Jay. Millie turned to Jay with a grin on her face and a sparkle in her eye. She stood up from where she was and pulled Jay up by his top. “We’re using your spare bedroom,” Millie called to Siva and Jade as she and Jay made their way out of the living room.

Millie pulled Jay into the dark bedroom, closing the door and working on his shirt straight away; unbuttoning it down his chest. Jay shrugged his shirt off and started to kiss Millie. They’d both had quite a lot to drink and this was making them hornier than what they were usually. Jay’s hand headed straight for her skinny jeans but she slapped them away. “It’s my turn so I get to strip both of us,” she smiled. Even though it was dark in the bedroom, there was a faint orange glow emitting from a streetlamp outside the window. Millie unbuttoned her jeans and pulled the zipper down, wriggling out of the insanely tight trousers. She was wearing black, lace underwear and her thick jumper that Nathan had bought her for Christmas. Well, Millie had picked it out and said to Nathan that she wanted it for Christmas. She pushed Jay onto the bed. His legs were hanging off the end with his toes still in contact with the floor, and his elbows supporting his upper body behind his back. He watched and bit his lip as Millie pulled the jumper over her head and let it join her jeans on the floor. She placed her hands either side of his waist on the bed and slowly kissed him, making sure she didn’t move her tongue into his mouth which is what he was begging for. She moved both her hands to his trousers, putting pressure on him as she moved her hand over his bulge. “Does someone want some attention?” she giggled, biting Jay’s lip between her teeth. She slowly unbuckled and pulled down his trousers, pulling his boxer briefs down slightly to let him come out. She took him in her hand and started to pump his dick. He bit his lip and let out a moan as he watched Millie get onto her knees between his legs. She brushed her hair to one side of her head and bent down to kiss the shaft of his penis.

“You really are beautiful,” Jay whispered. Millie blushed as she looked up to him. They both kept eye contact with each other as she put his head in her mouth and she started to suck. He brushed his hand through her hair, enjoying the sensation of her mouth and tongue working on him. After a short amount of time, he guided her up his body until their lips were level with one another. He slid underneath her and off the bed, pulling his boxers down and kicked them off in the direction of all his other clothes. He pushed her down on to the bed, her facing down. He ripped her underwear off, causing Millie to giggle, and unclipped her bra, sliding it down her arms before lifting her up and pulling it away from her. He placed her down on the bed. She raised her hips and he slid into her from behind. He lowered his body so as to lie on top of her, continuing to thrust in and out of her. Millie wrapped her legs around his and he reached above her head to hold her hands, lowering his head to hers. He continued to thrust but picked his pace up a bit, thrusting a little harder too. Of course, the bed in the spare room had to be the squeaky bed. With every thrust, the bedsprings squeaked with the movement Jay was creating. He let go of one of Millie’s hands as he moved it under her and began to rub her hard over her clit. This made her moan louder, groaning his name. She lifted her hips more so that he could go deeper into her and this caused her to start whimpering his name in pleasure. Jay was moaning in her ear, getting her going even more. She went silent as she came, burying her face into the duvet and he could tell as she went all tense in her body, her legs pulling tighter around his which caused him to cum as well, except he wasn’t as quiet. He was cursing with every bit of breath he had in him. He slowly continued to thrust until he slowed down to a complete stop, pulling out of her and relaxing on his back on the bed. Millie rolled onto her back too, smiling over to him.

“I love you,” she smiled, moving over to nuzzle her face into his neck. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him; exchanging their body heat.

“I love you too,” Jay smiled. He was just happy to have Millie as his own. He was now wishing that he’d bought the ring with him. This would have been the perfect time to ask her to marry him.

  13. Countdown

11:58pm.

Midnight was quickly closing in.

The new year was closing in.

Nathan was the most sober out of everyone and felt he had to look after Tom, Kelsey, Jay and Millie. Max and Britt only lived around the corner so they’d be fine. But Tom and Kelsey were staying at Millie and Jay’s. Nathan sat back and watched as everybody started singing. Kelsey, Jade and Millie were hugging each other and giggling at Jay, Siva and Tom. Max and Britt had gone off to one of the spare bedrooms. The clock on the TV hit 11:59pm. One minute from the new year. Nathan headed off into the hallway and knocked on the bedroom door. “Mate, it’s a minute from midnight,” he yelled at the door before joining the others again. Max and Britt came into the living room as the countdown hit 14.

13. 12. 11. 10. 9.

Everybody started to get into their pairs, making Nathan think about how alone he was in a room full of his best mates.

8.7.6.5.4.

Millie stood next to Nathan and took his hand in hers.

3.

Nathan turned to face Millie.

2.

Millie grinned at him.

1.

“Happy New Year,” Millie whispered to him before placing a kiss on his cheek. Everybody else started to say “happy new year” to each other. Millie let go of Nathan’s hand before she kissed Jay, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, only thinking of the things he’d be doing to her when they got home. Kelsey made her way over to Nathan (after she’d kissed Tom) and placed a big kiss on his cheek.

“This year will be your year,” Kelsey whispered, kissing his cheek again before moving on to Millie. Tom said the exact same thing as he hugged Nathan. Max was so forceful with his hug that he knocked both him and Nathan over onto the sofa. Max started humping Nathan’s leg which caused everyone to burst into laughter. Tom took a picture on his phone.

@TomTheWanted: Mathan are starting the new year in horniness [picture attached]

  14. First birthday part one

Millie slept in on the twins’ first birthday. Jay didn’t want to wake her as she’d been up with the twins’ at half five every morning for the past week. Jay changed both of their nappies and took them downstairs to feed them their breakfast. Millie woke up around half six and headed to the twins’ bedroom to find it empty. She heard the TV on downstairs so headed in that direction. She walked into the living room with Jay laying on the floor with both the twins. She giggled before joining them, blowing a raspberry on Kennedy’s exposed belly. Millie stood Kennedy up and supported her as Jay did the same with Noah. “Happy birthday to you,” Millie started to sing. Jay caught on and joined in. “Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday Ken and Noah. Happy birthday to you.” Kennedy giggled at the singing going on and both her and Noah looked over to each other with smiles on their faces.

Jay stood up, Noah’s hands still wrapped around two of his fingers as Jay started walking across the living room carpet and towards Millie. “Look,” Jay laughed, “he’s walking.”

“He’s not doing it by himself,” Millie giggled as Jay lifted Noah up while making an aeroplane noise. “It doesn’t count unless he’s unhelped.”

“Unhelped?” Jay laughed. “No such word, Mils,” he continued to laugh as he threw himself on to the sofa and placed Noah on his lap.

“Now there is,” Millie smirked before she turned her attention back to Kennedy. “Now, who’s ready for their presents?” Kennedy had no idea what Millie was talking about but Millie was getting her excited about what was about to happen whereas Noah had fallen asleep on Jay’s chest. “Keep an eye on her, Bird,” Millie said as she left the living room to get the two bags of presents she’d bought for the twins. Jay’s eyes went wide as he saw Millie come in with the bags.

“They won’t remember any of this,” Jay laughed. He scooped Noah up and gently woke him from his dozing. Jay sat on the floor with his legs apart and placed Noah in the gap. Millie took the first present out of Noah’s bag and handed it to Jay. Jay placed it on the floor in front of Noah and Noah picked it up and threw it back on the floor in front of him. Jay started to laugh as he said, “he doesn’t even know what to do with it!”

  15. First birthday part two

Nathan came into the house from the outhouse around 10am. Kennedy and Noah had opened all their presents including a double stroller which was more of a present for Jay and Millie than for the twins. Kennedy was bought the Lotso Hugging Bear from Toy Story 3. She hadn’t let go of it since she managed to tear the wrapping paper off and Millie had pulled it out of its cardboard packing. Noah was bought a big Simba toy. Well, it was big next to him but it was the size of a normal sized domestic cat. Nathan came in, holding two presents. Millie had to go out with Nathan to help him pick; he had no idea what to get a one year old. Millie and Nathan both decided on outfits they could wear for their birthday party that was being held today. Kennedy was standing up, hands latched on to the edge of the coffee table and she was bopping up knees to the beat of I Found You that Jay had got up on the TV. Noah was bopping his head to the same rhythm as Kennedy and giggling at her. “Ken-Ken,” Nathan said excitedly as he knelt down beside her and kissed her cheek. Her face lit up as she saw Nathan. Noah started squealing when Nathan came into the room too and it wasn’t long before Nathan was making a fuss of him too. Jay took Ken’s present off of Nathan whereas Nathan helped Noah with his. Jay pulled out a turquoise party dress for Kennedy. She stretched her arms out, wanting to feel the material. Once she’d felt the material, she got bored with it and started playing with Jay’s keys which he had put on the floor. Nathan opened Noah’s little suit that he’d bought for him. “Nath,” Millie smiled. “Can you help me with putting them in their outfits and giving them a bath and everything?”

“Isn’t Jay supposed to be doing all that?” Nathan chuckled.

“He’s useless at it all,” Millie giggled as Jay scorned at her. “You are though, babe. You end up by pissing about with them. If they do a poo, you just say ‘shall we leave that as a surprise for mummy?’ and then call me upstairs and leave me to do it.” Millie squealed as Jay grabbed her hips and pulled her down on to his lap.

“I said I’d do sick, piss-” Jay started.                                                     

“Language!” Millie laughed.

“- wees, and waking up at 2am when they woke up if you did their shits.”

“Language James,” Millie warned again as she flicked his ear.

“Fuck, shit, bollocks, wank, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” Jay laughed.

“Fuck,” came from Millie and Jay’s side. Kennedy was looking up at them with a smile on their face. Nathan started to laugh hard on the sofa, but still making sure that Noah didn’t crawl off or roll off it.

  16. First birthday part three

“How’s my favourite niece and nephew?” Kelsey asked as she walked into the living room.

“Well, Ken is in a foul mood because we told her off this morning,” Jay chuckled and handed Ken over to Kelsey. “She said F-U-C-K and she got told off.”

“She was only repeating what you said,” Millie sang as she came into the room with Noah in his suit. “Hey, pecker,” she smiled as Tom kissed her cheek. He took Noah out of her hands and flew him across the room, making aeroplane noises to go with it. “And by we, you mean you, right? You were the one to put her in her cot and she didn’t want that, especially as you went and gave Noah a bunch of attention in front of her, completely ignoring her cries.”

“Awww, poor Ken,” Kelsey cooed and held Ken close to her. Ken was glad to get attention off of Kelsey and Tom but she kicked up a fuss whenever Jay went near her. “Do you want your presents?” she asked Ken and Noah shortly before everyone else arrived. Tom brought them through from the hallway and handed Kennedy’s present to Kelsey. Kennedy was clearly getting used to opening presents now as she was ripping the paper off, revealing a dress similar to the one Kelsey had on at the AMA’s. “See, now you can look like aunty Kelsey, Ken.”

“That’ll last her about four months, you do realise that Kels, right?” Jay asked, lifting the dress out of Kelsey’s hands and looking at it.

“But she’ll look so pretty in it at my wedding in three month’s time.” Kelsey grinned up at Jay.

“So, you’ve bought No a little suit for your wedding for his birthday, yeah?” Millie asked as she sat next to Tom and Noah. Tom helped Noah with unwrapping his present. It was a little black tuxedo. “Awwww he’s going to look so cute in this.” Millie held up the tuxedo and showed it to Jay.

“Aww, my little man is going to be the best looking person at that wedding,” Jay chuckled. Kelsey and Millie both threw death glares at him. “You know, you two don’t even count in that. You two are going to look amazing. I don’t even need to ... I’ll go sit on the naughty step.” Jay stood up and sulked out of the room. Kelsey and Millie laughed before Millie went out to hallway and found Jay sitting with his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands on the bottom step of the stairs. He smiled up at Millie as she walked towards him. “Come here, beautiful,” he chuckled, pulling Millie onto his lap. “I can’t believe we’ve had them a year.”

“I know,” Millie smiled, feeling the tears coming to her eyes. “Soon they’ll be 16 and ruining our lives.” Jay laughed and stroked Millie’s face as the tears rolled over her eyelids.

“Awww, bear,” Jay smiled, wiping the tears away. “They won’t ruin our lives too much. And if they do, we can just ship them off to Kelsey and Tom’s,” he whispered in Millie’s ear. Millie giggled before kissing Jay. “I cannot wait to have you in your birthday suit tonight.”

“I wish I could be in it now,” Millie purred, attacking Jay’s neck with kisses.

“Me too,” Jay softly moaned.

“Oi, you two,” Kelsey said from the doorway of the living room. “No making more babies until you’ve at least changed the nappies on the two babies you already have.” Millie climbed off of Jay’s lap and took Kennedy in her arms, brushing past Jay to get up to the twins’ bedroom.

  17.First birthday part four

Millie swung the door open, confused as to who else could be at their house when everybody invited was already there. “Harri?” Millie asked, wide eyed and looking behind her to make sure Nathan wasn’t in sight. “What are you doing here?” Millie stepped outside and shut the front door behind her.

“It’s my goddaughter and godson’s birthday today,” Harri chuckled. “You think I was going to miss it?”

“You haven’t spoken to me in three months and you expect to walk straight back in?” Millie asked, forcing Harri to take a step backwards. “Nathan’s been a mess, Haz, and you haven’t spoken to him either.”

“Look, he’s told me he will never forgive me, so I didn’t have a reason to talk to him,” Harri growled. “If he’s never going to forgive me for not wanting children when he wants children, why should I plead for his forgiveness? Anyway, he’s too in love with you to even start thinking of a future with him.” Harri looked pissed off now. “I came here to try and see your kids, but obviously I’m not welcome, and if I’m not welcome now, I’ll never be welcome, will I Mils?” Harri rolled her eyes at Millie before shoving Noah and Kennedy’s presents into Millie’s arms. “Here’s their presents, hope you enjoy the rest of the day.”

Millie felt bad. Harri had driven all the way down here to spend the afternoon with her godchildren and Millie was taking that away from her. “Harri,” Millie called after her, running down the driveway and wrapping her arms around Harri’s body before Harri could reach her car. “I’m sorry.”

Harri chuckled slightly. “I shouldn’t be a bitch to Nathan though, I know,” Harri smiled. She turned around in Millie’s arms. “He needs someone who will be willing to give him a kid though, and that isn’t me. I was doing what was best for him.”

“Yeah, well, I think cutting all contact with him wasn’t the best thing to do though,” Millie said, giving her best friend a ‘you shouldn’t have done that’ look. “But, anyway, not your day, not my day, not Nathan's day, it’s the twins’ day, so come and see them.” Millie took Harri’s hand in hers and dragged her towards the house. To say Harri was nervous was an understatement. She hadn’t seen Nathan in a long time and she was nervous about how he’d react to her being there. The last time, he was upset and angry at her.

  18. First birthday part five

“Hey, Kenny,” Harri smiled as she saw Kennedy walking on her feet with the help of Nathan, coming out of the living room.

“Haaeee,” Kennedy squealed, letting go of Nathan’s hands to crawl over to Harri.

“Harri?” Nathan asked, looking over to a guilty looking Millie. “Millie, can I talk to you?”

“Deal with it, Nath,” Millie mumbled as she walked past Nathan and into the living room with Harri and Ken behind her. “No, baby, look who’s come to see you,” Millie cooed as she rushed over to Noah to pick him up. He saw Harri and grinned at her, slightly excited to see Harri. To be fair, Kennedy just gets excited to see everyone, more Kelsey than anyone else, but she still acts excited.

“Yeah, and aunty Harri bought birthday presents for the two little angels,” Harri chuckled, sitting down on the free part of the sofa that Jay had just stood up from.

“Millie, a word?” Jay asked, dragging Millie out by her arm. He took her outside into the garden. “What’s Harri doing here?” Jay asked, closing the back door to the kitchen. “You know what Nathan gets like when she’s ever mentioned in a conversation.”

“She just showed up,” Millie argued. “I didn’t invite her and Jay, have some heart, she’s the twins’ godmother. She can come round and see them if she likes.”

“We’ve never had them christened, she’s not their godmother.” Jay smirked.

“I don’t care if they’ve not been christened. She’s my best friend.”

“Who you haven’t talked to in how long?” Jay asked, stepping closer to Millie. Millie gulped seeing slight anger in Jay’s eyes. This moment was interrupted by Nathan joining them outside.

“Why the fuck is Harri here?” he asked, heading to the guest house at the bottom of the garden. “Millie, I can’t believe you let her back here. After everything I’ve told you, you let her come back? I can’t believe you.”

“Nathan, just fucking grow up and deal with,” Millie shouted, following Nathan across the garden.

“Mils, let him-” Jay started but was cut off by a pissed of Millie.

“Nope,” Millie yelled back to Jay. “I’m getting him to deal with it and we’re not coming back in until he’s grown up.” Millie opened the guest house door and slammed it shut behind her.

  19. Grow up

Millie turned around and saw Nathan in tears on his bed. He met Millie’s eye contact and turned over, pulling the duvet around him. Millie suddenly felt guilty and forgot the purpose of why she followed Nathan. She crawled into bed next to him and pulled the duvet over herself too. “Look, Nath, you need to just let it go,” Millie whispered. Nathan still faced away from her, not wanting to look at her. “Look, she’s my best friend, you couldn’t expect me to pick sides and just drop her, could you?” Nathan turned around, now looking Millie directly in the eyes. “Because if we had to pick sides, I’d not have either of you in my life.”

“We both know that you’d choose me over her,” Nathan mumbled. Millie shook her head, even though in her head she would choose Nathan. Nathan was more related to her than Harri. I mean, look how Millie offered Nathan their guest house and didn’t even think about where Harri was going to stay. “Really? If I asked you to pick, you’d say neither of us?” Nathan asked, not completely believing her.

“Don’t make me pick though,” Millie asked. Her heart was pumping her blood round her body at a 100mph. “Please don’t make me pick.” She was almost begging now. She was getting a small flashback of Nathan giving her the ultimatum between him and Jay.

“I wouldn’t make you pick,” Nathan whispered, moving closer to Millie. They were only a couple of inches away from each other and Millie could feel herself almost being reeled in by Nathan. Her heart was still racing and her breath had become short from it. Nathan moved his hand to her cheek, tracing her cheekbones with his index finger.

“Don’t,” Millie whispered, turning herself away with all her willpower. “I shouldn’t even be feeling like this.” She sighed as Nathan wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. “I think you need to find your own place, Nath.” Nathan kissed the back of her shoulder. “I think you need to grow up, get over this and move out.”

“What is ‘this’?” Nathan asked, moving his kisses to the back of her neck.

“Harri, you need to get over Harri,” Millie moaned. She turned around in Nathan’s arms. “And me; you need to stop this. I love you, but not in the way I love Jay.” Nathan moved closer to Millie but she pulled away from him. “Nathan, find a place of your own,” she whispered before throwing the duvet off of her and joining everybody else back in the house. Nathan rolled onto his back and sighed. What was he doing? He shouldn’t be going after a taken girl; a taken girl with two babies already and a marriage proposal on the way.

  20. First steps and expectancies

“Hey,” Jay whispered as Millie sat down next to him on the floor. Kennedy and Noah were still being fussed over by Harri. “What did you say to Nath?” he asked as he kissed Millie’s temple.

“Just told him to grow up, get over everything and to find his own place,” Millie whispered. Kennedy turned around and looked at Millie. Harri placed her on her feet on the floor as Ken grabbed onto Harri’s knee.

“Jay, darling, you might want to get your phone out,” Jay’s mum smiled, noticing Kennedy taking a step away from Harri’s knee but still grabbing on to it. Jay turned to face Kennedy and quickly got his phone out, ready to record her first steps.

“Come on, Ken,” Jay smiled, “come to daddy.” Kennedy looked at Jay and threw a scornful face at him.

“Ha-ha, she still doesn’t like you yet,” Millie laughed. “Come here, Ken, come to mummy.” Ken’s face brightened and she took a couple of steps towards Millie before she fell down onto her bum, causing her to start crying. “Aww, princess,” Millie cooed, scooping her up and giving her a cuddle. Millie sat back down next to Jay and cuddled up next to him. Kennedy wriggled a lot to begin with until Millie spoke to her in a warning voice. She started to settle down after that.

Nathan came back into the room, sitting down the opposite side of the room to Millie and Jay. Kennedy crawled over to Nathan and sat in his lap. She really did adore him and Millie knew she’d be upset when Nathan eventually stopped living at theirs.

By the evening, Kennedy was walking between people, sometimes with help from the furniture, other times without. Noah was just too lazy to be bothered about keeping up with his sister. It hit just before seven and both of the twins were starting to become drowsy. “I don’t want to put them to bed, yet,” Millie sulked. “We’ll be up at like two to be seeing them.”

“Millie, I get up with them at two, and for the past couple of weeks, they sleep through until about five,” Jay chuckled, scooping Kennedy up. She’d forgotten she was mad at him and was willing to be picked up and be fussed over by him. “Come on, pick No up. You can see he’s about to drift off.”

“Fine,” Millie huffed. Tom offered to help tuck the babies in while everybody else had a quick cuddle and kiss goodnight. “Me and Jay are perfectly capable of putting them to bed,” Millie giggled as she changed Noah’s nappy. “We’ve been doing it for the past year.” Tom placed Kennedy on the changing table next to Noah and stripped her dress off and ripped her nappy off, revealing a nice yellow sludge at the bottom.

“Yeah, well, you might be getting a niece or nephew during the next year, so I want to learn how to do all this stuff,” Tom hinted, glancing sideways at Millie.

“What?” Millie smiled, wanting to know the meaning behind this.

“We’ve stopped using contraception,” Tom grinned. Millie leapt into his arms, keeping her hands away from his face. “So, I need to learn all this stuff before Kelsey falls pregnant and definitely before the baby comes so that I can impress her with my skills.”

“Have you not been doing all this when they stay with you?” Millie asked, returning her focus back to Noah’s dirty bottom.

“Kelsey kind of controls it all,” Tom laughed. “She likes to be the one in charge so I let her with these two.” Tom sighed with a smile as he started to wipe Kennedy’s bottom clean. “I honestly can’t wait to have a kid, Mils; especially a kid with Kelsey. I love her; I love her so fucking much.” Millie elbowed Tom in the ribs. “Sorry, I love her so freaking much.” Millie smiled as she finished putting Noah’s new nappy on and doing up his bedtime onesie. She placed him in his cot and he automatically cuddled Simba. Millie tucked him in under his blanket and kissed the top of his head. Once Tom was finished with Kennedy, with the watchful eye of Millie, Millie placed Kennedy in her cot. “Night KenKen,” Tom smiled and kissed the top of her head. He walked over to Noah’s cot. “Night, No,” and he kissed Noah’s head before quietly letting himself out of the room. Millie pulled the rocking chair up to the space between their cots, watching both of them as they drifted off to sleep.

  21. Caught out

“I love you,” Millie smiled as she came into her and Jay’s room after checking up on the twins. “You know that, right?” She smirked to herself and jumped on the bed, crawling over to Jay and straddling him.

“Yeah, I know,” he grinned, running his hands up Millie’s body. “I love you too, bear.” Jay bit his lip, not wanting to wait any longer to ravish her. “We shouldn’t though,” Jay whispered as Millie took her top off. Millie stuck her bottom lip out as she stood up and slid her pyjama shorts off. “Your parents are only next door.”

“Yeah, sorry, but I don’t think it’s fair that we send them all the way back up to Bolton at this time.” Millie started to kiss Jay’s neck.

“They could’ve stayed at Tom’s,” Jay mumbled.

“What?” Millie asked, leaning away from Jay and raising an eyebrow.

“Just said they could’ve stayed at Tom’s,” Jay smiled. Millie chuckled and shook her head. “Spend some time with the child that’s going to get married within the next few months.”

“Instead they’re spending time with their favourite child and their grandchildren.” Millie resumed kissing Jay’s neck, raising his top up his body. “And we can just be quiet for once,” Millie smirked as she lifted Jay’s top over his head. “I know it’s hard for you to be quiet.”

Jay bit Millie’s boob in retaliation. “I can be quiet,” Jay sulked.

“You have never been quiet,” Millie giggled, feeling Jay harden beneath her. “See, I can be quiet because this isn’t the first time I’ve had a guy in my room with my parents next door.”

“Well, I’ll make it my mission to have you screaming,” Jay laughed, pulling Millie down to his lips. Millie rolled off of Jay’s lap and pulled him on top of her, rubbing her feet up his calves. He pulled her underwear down, pulling it over her ankles and slinging them on the floor. Jay made his way down Millie’s body, hiding himself under the duvet with his feet poking out at the end of the duvet. She felt his fingers move into her, moving her hands under the duvet to tangle her fingers in his hair. She was quietly moaning, not loud enough for her parents to hear, but loud enough for Jay to hear. She unclasped her bra and took it off, letting one hand play with her nipples as the other returned to Jay’s hair as Jay moved his mouth onto her, roughly sucking her clit. Millie’s breath became caught in the back of her throat. Jay quickened the pace on his fingers when Millie suddenly heard footsteps outside their door, only to have the door swing open.

“Millie,” Millie’s mum sang as she came into the bedroom. “Little Ken keeps crying for-”

“MUM, GET OUT!” Millie screamed, pulling the duvet up her body as Jay rolled off the bed and out of view.

“Oh God, I’m sorry.” Millie’s mum quickly went back out of the room and shut the door, taking Kennedy downstairs.

“And this is why you need to be loud when you’re parents are in the house,” Jay smirked. Millie grabbed a pillow and threw it at him on the floor.

  22. First gig

“We’re going to have fun today,” Kelsey sang as she walked Kennedy along backstage at the 02 for a charity gig the boys were doing with One Direction, Olly Murs, Little Mix, District 3, Conor Maynard, and Lawson. “You two are going to see uncle Andy, uncle Adam, uncle Ryan and your favourite uncle Joel. Maybe he’ll let you play with his guitar today, No.” Kelsey picked Kennedy up and carried her through to the Wanted’s dressing room. Millie followed behind with Noah in her arms. “Look, they’re in here already,” Kelsey grinned as Joel held his arms out to give Kennedy a cuddle.

“It’s our number one fans,” Andy smiled as Millie handed him Noah. “Are you excited to see us perform today?”

“No,” Noah smiled. Andy looked a little sad about his reply.

“It’s his favourite word, just ignore it,” Millie chuckled before giving all the lads a hug. The Wanted lads were rehearsing for their set. “Why you lot in here, anyway?” Millie asked, grabbing a Diet Coke from the minifridge and opening it.

“Stealing their beers,” Ryan grinned, pulling faces at Kennedy. “And then we’re going to hide them.”

“Okay, Ry, don’t scare her,” Kelsey giggled. And at that point, Kennedy started to cry as she looked at Ryan. “See, you scared her. Aww, Ken,” Kelsey said as she got up from the sofa and took Kennedy out of Joel’s hands. “Aww did the mean man scare you?” Kennedy held her arms out to Millie instead. Kelsey passed Ken over to Millie where she sat her down on her lap and gently rocked her.

“Well, Noah’s not scared of me, are ya our little goose?” Ryan grinned, lifting Noah from Andy’s grip. Noah made his ‘rah’ noise to Ryan. “See, he’s a roaring goose.” Ryan gently tickled Noah to have him giggling and wriggling in his arms. “Millie, can we take him on stage with us? The fans will love it.”

“No,” Millie laughed. “I don’t even let Jay take him on stage, why would I let you?” Ryan stuck his bottom lip out which Andy, Adam and Joel copied. Millie hated when all four of them started pulling puppy dog faces at her. “No,” Millie said, looking away from them, concentrating on keeping Kennedy calm. “I’m not letting you take my baby on stage with you.” Millie looked up to see them all pulling a puppy dog face. Kelsey was in the corner of the room silently giggling to herself. “No,” Millie said more sternly. Her expression was not stern though, she had a smile on her face. “Stop it,” she giggled. The boys knelt down by her feet and continued to pull the face.

“Please, Millie,” Andy pleaded.

“We want to have him rocking on stage with us,” Adam pleaded too.

“Fine,” Millie sighed, feeling herself give in to the pleas of the boys. “You can take Noah on stage. But you introduce him and then give him back.”

“Yes,” all the boys nodded their heads.

  23. First on stage appearance

“We want to welcome on stage tonight, a very special guest,” Andy smiled and looked to the side of the stage where Jay and Nathan were standing with Kennedy and Noah.

“Right, so a fair few of you lot are part of the Wanted’s fanmily right?” Ryan asked, taking a sip of water from the bottle he has by his mic stand. The crowd cheered in response to his question. Millie was standing behind Jay and Nathan, nervously looking over her babies. “Well, we wanna introduce two special people that the fanmily will know. Jay, Nath, wanna bring them out?”

Millie took a step after them as Jay and Nathan went on stage. Kennedy was in Nathan’s arms and Noah was in Jay’s arms. “This is Jay’s daughter and son, Kennedy and Noah,” Andy grinned as he placed his guitar against the podium Adam’s drum kit was on. He took Kennedy out of Nathan’s arms. “Ken, you wanna say hi to everyone?” Kennedy looked at the microphone and poked it, receiving a laugh from everyone in the arena. “Ha-ha, that’s not how you say hi, is it Ken?”

“Hey,” Kennedy grinned. Noah was taken into Joel’s arms where he automatically reached for Joel’s guitar and wanted to ping the strings. “Mummum,” Kennedy sulked as she held her arms in the direction of Millie. Jay went to take Kennedy but she continued to reach towards Millie. Millie took a couple of steps towards the stage when she was stopped by security. Jay placed Kennedy on the floor and walked her over to Millie where she took Kennedy straight into her arms.

“So, we have Noah left,” Joel laughed as he placed his guitar behind him. “Adam, you want to have him on your lap and let him hit your drums?”

“Millie, Jay, is that alright?” Adam asked in which he received a nod from both Millie and Jay. Joel lifted Noah up to Adam. Adam handed Noah a drum stick which instigated Noah hitting everything he could reach with the drum stick, hitting the drums every now and then. The girls in the crowd adored this part of the set. Okay, so it wasn’t planned but the girls screamed and awed in response as the screen showed Noah sitting on Adam’s lap and hitting the symbol.

Jay made his way over to Millie, placing a kiss on Kennedy’s cheek. “We are NOT getting him a drum kit,” Millie laughed, knowing what Jay was thinking.

  24. First song dedication

It was the Wanted’s set. There were big arguments on who would ultimately be headlining this gig and in the end, Jayne had settled with Paul (1D’s manager) that both bands perform the same amount of songs and have the same amount of time on stage but The Wanted would perform first as Jay had Noah and Kennedy. The Wanted opened with Chasing The Sun, then performed All Time Low, Gold Forever, Warzone, Mad Man, I Found You, Heart Vacancy and they were introducing I’ll Be Your Strength. The girls they pulled up from the crowd for their Heart Vacancy song were escorted back to their seats. “The next song is a song that we know means so much to so many people,” Nathan started smiling at the front row of the crowd. “It’s a track we haven’t released and it’s from our second album.”

“When me and Nath wrote this song, we were actually using the letters you’d written to us about how our songs had helped you through a difficult time in your life,” Jay smiled, looking up to the box where Kelsey, Jade, Britt, Millie, Noah and Kennedy were standing. “That inspired the song, so really, you lot wrote the song.” Jay laughed as he saw a girl with all of the boys’ names across her face shout “where’s our money then?” “We’d like to dedicate this next song, well, I’d like to dedicate this next song to three special people in my life that I want to make sure they know that I’ll always be there for them, no matter what life throws at us. I love you, Millie.”

“I love you too,” Millie shouted back.

“This is I’ll Be Your Strength,” Jay introduced and the piano chords started up. Millie couldn’t wipe the smile off her face.

  25. Fat on the wedding day

The boys had taken the twins out for the day. This meant that Kelsey was inviting herself round to hang out and talk about the upcoming wedding happening in two months time. Kelsey was lying down on the sofa while Millie lay facing the opposite way. “You excited about getting married to my brother?” Millie asked, playing with the anklet Kelsey was wearing on her right ankle.

“I’m nervous,” Kelsey chuckled, running her fingertips up and down Millie’s left shin. “You’ve gotta make sure I don’t get cold feet and run away, Mils.”

“You’re the best thing that’s happened to my brother; of course I’m not letting you get away.” Millie and Kelsey both were set off in a fit of giggles.

“Oh, yeah, I need you refitted for your bridesmaid’s dress.” Kelsey sat up which made Millie sit up. “You’ve lost even more weight since the last one. I don’t want the dress falling off of you.” Millie giggled. “How do you lose weight when you’ve got the babies?”

“Because I rarely have time to eat,” Millie smiled. “How’s your baby making going?” Kelsey’s face fell and her eyes went wide. “Am I not supposed to know? Shit.”

“Tom’s telling people we’re trying?” Kelsey asked, still keeping eye contact with Millie.

“He’s told me. Not sure if he’s told anyone else. Jay hasn’t mentioned anything.” Millie bit her bottom lip. “No luck so far then?”

“Nope,” Kelsey looked guilty as she glanced down to her lap. “I haven’t stopped taking my pill yet.” She quickly looked up to meet Millie’s eyes. “I don’t wanna be fat on my wedding day. And I wanna be able to drink, so stop judging, Mils!” Kelsey jokingly pushed Millie as she fell back on the sofa.

“Why don’t you tell Tom this?” Millie smiled, putting Kelsey’s legs over her lap as she sat up properly. “He’ll figure out when he finds your pill.”

“Ah, he will never find it,” Kelsey said in a dramatic voice.

“Bet he will,” Millie sang with a grin on her face. “He finds everything.”

“He won’t find this, trust me.” Kelsey threw a wink at Millie. “How’s the house hunting with Nathan?”

“He really doesn’t want to move out,” Millie groaned, throwing her head back on the sofa. “He finds a problem with every place and I just want him out.” Millie pretended to burst into tears. “Can you take him, Kels?”

“I ain’t having him,” Kelsey laughed. “I don’t even know why he gave up his place anyway. He could afford it and it wasn’t too big.”

“I stupidly offered him our place,” Millie chuckled, “which meant he had dinner cooked for him and he always had company. Why did I offer?” Kelsey held her arms out to Millie, pulling Millie down to her for a hug.

“He’ll find his own place,” Kelsey whispered, keeping Millie in the hug.

  26. Babysitting

Millie and Kelsey were still lying together in their hug when the lads came home. Jay jumped on top of them, causing them to grunt and squeal for him to get off of them. “Jay, are you going to put these two to bed?” Nathan asked.

Jay kissed Millie’s cheek before rolling off of her and nodding at Nathan. Max took Jay’s place on top of Millie and Kelsey, making them squeal with laughter again. “Wanna come out tonight?” Max asked both of the girls.

“Can’t, can I Max?” Millie laughed. Max rolled off of them and knelt next to the sofa.

“Why not?” Max asked, a moody expression on his face.

“Erm, there are these two things that I have called Kennedy and Noah, and to go out with you lot and drink, I have to get a babysitter in,” Millie giggled, stroking Max’s face. “And it’s a bit late to be trying to find a babysitter for tonight.”

“Jay’s sorted it,” Nathan chuckled as he flung himself on the opposite sofa. “He called up Mara while we were out. So, you can come out with us.” Millie smiled for a few seconds before she started to look worried. She rolled off of Kelsey and sat on the edge of the sofa. “Mils,” Nathan said as he climbed off the sofa and knelt in front of her. “The twins will be fine. You’ve left them before. You left them for longer before. And you trust Mara; that’s why she’s your babysitter. And you know she can handle the twins.”

“And she’s not too bad in the sack, is she Nath?” Max asked which resulted in Nathan blushing.

“You’ve been sleeping with Mara?” Millie asked. Nathan blushed even more as he crawled back over to the other sofa and hid his face in the couch cushions.

“It’s only been once,” Nathan smiled.

“She’s 17, Nath.” Although, Millie was happy. At least he was showing signs of moving on from Harri now.

“Still legal,” Nathan’s muffled voice came from the gap between the sofa and the cushion.

  27. Maybe you’re an old man

Millie was upstairs in her and Jay’s room, still fussing with her hair for the night. Jay came into the room with a glass of wine in his hand for her. He smiled as he saw her fussing with her already-perfect hair. He took a step behind her and kissed the skin showing on her neck. He handed her the glass of wine and she took a sip before placing it on the side. She’d never left the babies so she could go out drinking before. Well, not drinking like they used to. They’ve called Mara round a couple of times so that they could just go out to the pub for a couple of drinks, but they’d always be back long before midnight. This time, they didn’t know what time they’d be back let alone what state they’d be in. Millie started thinking of every excuse that could seem plausible not to go out and to stay with the babies. “Whether you like it or not, we’re going out and being our 24 year old selves, alright?” Jay chuckled in her ear, putting her more at ease with just the softness in his voice. “You look perfect; stop fussing.” He placed a kiss on her cheek before picking up her wine glass and handing it to her again. “Now, drink.” Millie sighed before taking the glass off of Jay and downing it.

“I’m not 24 yet,” she mumbled, hoping Jay wouldn’t catch it.

“Heard that,” Jay laughed, wrapping his arms around Millie’s waist and looking at her reflection in the mirror. “And you look nowhere near 34 yet.”

“34?” Millie asked, turning around in Jay’s arms with an unimpressed look on her face. “I don’t look over 20, you mean!?”

Jay laughed. “You’ve had two babies; you look your age.” Jay kissed her forehead before looking at himself in the mirror. “Same can’t be said for me. I look like a dad. I look like my dad.” Jay pulled a disgusted face.

“If you shaved once in a while, maybe you wouldn’t look so old,” Millie teased. Jay placed his arms around her hips and lifted her off her feet so she couldn’t run away. “Maybe you’re an old man,” Millie started to sing. “Maybe you’re a smelly, senile man.”

“But you’ll never see a dead man, when you’re looking at me,” Jay finished, smiling as he placed a kiss on Millie’s lips. “And our sex life is amaziiiiiinggg. We’re vibing on a higher atmosphere. And you can call me crazy, but you’re so beautiful from here.”

“You’re a fool,” Millie giggled as Jay placed her back on her feet.

“A fool in love,” Jay grinned before attacking Millie’s face with kisses. She laughed as she tried to get away from him but he had a tight grip on her. They both ended up falling onto the bed, Jay on top of Millie. “I can’t wait for the day I call you my wife,” Jay smiled as he brushed Millie’s hair out of her face.

“Whipped,” Millie giggled. She placed her hands on the back of Jay’s neck and pulled him down to her, kissing him passionately. “Usually you have to propose before you get married to someone.”

“Usually you get married to someone before you start to have babies.” Jay kissed Millie again before climbing off the bed and pulling her with him. “And now you think I’m going to propose to you, don’t ya?!” Millie blushed. The thought had popped into her mind. “Remember what I said when we went away? I’ll be doing it when you least expect it.” He kissed her temple before leading her out of the room.

  28. Worry washed away with alcohol

She’d drank a bottle of wine before they even left their house and now Tom was making her do shots at the bar with him. He brought them both some beer before they headed over to Kelsey and Jay in a booth the other side of the dance floor. Millie sat down next to Kelsey whereas Tom took the seat next to Jay. Kelsey looked from Millie’s drink to Tom’s drink and then up to Tom’s face, pulling a hurt expression. “Where’s my drink, babe?” she asked. Tom looked over to Kelsey’s empty glass and rolled his eyes, dragging himself out of his seat.

“And mine too, babe,” Jay grinned. Tom didn’t even look over as he stuck two fingers up at Jay. “Rude!” Jay shouted and laughed. Millie slid out of her seat and took Tom’s, sharing her beer with Jay.

“So, Jay, when are you proposing?” Kelsey slurred, pointing at her engagement ring.

“When the time’s right, Kels,” Jay chuckled, lowering his hand on Millie’s back.

“Where are Nath, Max, Seev and Jade?” Millie asked, looking over to the dance floor to spot any familiar faces.

“Seev and Jade went home, because they’re boring; Max was going to the loo and Nath disappeared somewhere,” Kelsey smiled as Tom came back over with another round of drinks. “Thanks, babe.”

  29. Persuasion

Nathan was dancing with every hot girl in the place. They were practically queuing up to attempt to kiss the recently turned 22 year old. Nathan didn’t want any of these girls though. They all seemed too desperate. He politely kissed the cheek of the girl he was currently dancing with and headed over to the booth that Kelsey, Tom, Millie and Jay were in. “I’m gonna head home,” Nathan said over the music.

“No, Nath,” Millie sulked and budged up closer to Jay so Nathan could squeeze in. Nathan remained standing though. “Don’t go home. Stay and drink.” Millie was starting to slur her words. Nathan perched on the edge of the seat and turned to Millie.

“Can someone not handle their drink much since they had their babies?” Nathan teased, stroking Millie’s cheek with the tip of his index finger.

“I can handle my drink,” Millie giggled and batted Nathan’s finger away. “I’m just a little drunk.”

“How much have you let her drink?” Nathan laughed as he looked between Jay and Tom.

“Tom’s the one who has been feeding her drinks all night,” Jay laughed, wrapping his arm around Millie’s shoulders and kissing her cheek. “Don’t get too drunk, bear.”

“I cannot promise anything,” Millie giggled, placing her hand on Nathan’s thigh, just above his knee. “Come on, Sykes, let’s go dance.” Nathan slid out of the seat and took Millie’s hand in his as he led them both over to the dance floor. They headed for the middle of the floor and danced close to each other. “Don’t go home,” Millie yelled into his ear.

“Well, someone’s got to make sure you and Jay get home without falling over,” Nathan yelled back.

  30. Maxlie moment

Max reappeared in the club and found Nathan and Millie dancing together. He didn’t like how close they were so decided to join in with them. He grabbed Millie’s hand and pulled her away from Nathan and towards him. Max wrapped his arms around Millie’s chest from behind her and started swaying in time to the beat. After only one song, he took her outside for a cigarette. Once Max had lit up his cigarette, Millie took it out of his mouth and took a long drag. Max took another one out of the packet and lit it, taking a drag for himself and keeping it out of Millie’s reach. “I have missed you,” Millie smiled, looking intently at her cigarette as she let the excess of smoke out of her mouth.

“You smoked?” Max asked, quite surprised as Tom had always gone on about how Millie hadn’t smoked.

“Tom’s the reason I got into it,” Millie chuckled. She took another drag and sat down next to Max. “My first cigarette was from a pack I stole from Tom. Luckily, he was only up for a couple of days and thought he’d left the pack at home. To this day, he never knew I took them. Then I was hooked on them for a couple of years until Harri confiscated every pack I bought. No joke, she stayed by my side for two months to make sure I didn’t go back. After that, haven’t ever touched one.”

“Great, now ya making me feel bad for letting you have one,” Max sulked as he reached for the cigarette in Millie’s hand, putting it out in the cigarette bin.

“Max,” Millie whined, sneakily trying to reach for Max’s cigarette.

“No, Mils, you have kids,” Max laughed, holding the cigarette out of her reach. “I want those kids to have their mum around for as long as possible.” Millie jumped out to grab Max’s cigarette, putting it out in the same bin as Max had done to Millie’s. “Oi!”

“I want your kids to have a dad around for as long as possible,” Millie smirked.

“Who says I’m having kids?” Max smiled.

Millie crossed her arms across her body and gave Max an ‘I don’t believe you’ look. “I’ve seen you with my kids. You’ll want some of your own one day.”

“I like your kids because I can give them back, Mils,” Max chuckled. “I wouldn’t wanna actually keep ‘em.”

“My kids are adorable,” Millie tried to argue but felt herself becoming giggly. Max suddenly picked Millie up in his arms, nuzzling his face in the crook of her neck. “My kids are the best kids in the world,” Millie giggled as she felt Max’s breath on her neck as he giggled too.

“I can’t wait to have kids,” Max smiled, looking up to Millie as he kept her in his arms. “You’ve got to be a wicked aunt like I’ve been an awesome uncle.”

“Of course I will be,” Millie said, clearly offended that Max didn’t think that immediately.

“Pinky promise?” Max asked, placing Millie back on her feet. He held his hand out with only his pinky extended. Millie wrapped her pinky around his and they shook their hands like that.

  31. Nathan breaks a rule

“Nathan,” Millie sang as her, Jay and Nathan grabbed a taxi back to their house. “Please don’t sleep with Mara again. In fact, as long as she’s our babysitter, you’re not allowed to sleep with her.”

“But Millie,” Nathan whined. He sat facing her with his sulking face on the whole way home.

They arrived home just after 3am, which Millie and Jay both offered to walk Mara back to her house a few houses down. They waited until she was inside before heading back and entering their own house, trying to be quiet. The undressing started at the front door and ended on the landing where Jay pushed Millie against the wall between the twins’ bedroom and Millie and Jay’s bedroom. Jay tugged at the material of Millie’s thong and ripped it clean off her, lifting her up and sliding himself into her. Little did they know, Nathan had walked around the house to meet Mara out the front. He smiled as Mara walked up to him, tilting her head to the side with a slight smile. As she got closer, she grabbed a fistful of his top and pulled herself up onto her toes to kiss him. She never usually made the first move but there was something about him that boosted her confidence; most likely the fact that he could be having any girl he wanted back in the club but he was texting her the whole night. Nathan wrapped his arm around her waist as he pulled her in closer. She could taste the alcohol in his mouth and knew he was drunk but he was the one suggesting everything. All of a sudden, Nathan lifted Mara up and put her over his shoulder as he carried her round to the back of the house and down the garden, into the guest house. He closed the doors, pulling her over to the bed. Nathan ran his hands up her back, lifting her shirt with his forearms. She helped him take it off before lifting his top off. Her hands made their way up into his hair, tangling her fingers into the waxed hair on the back of his head. Nathan slowly slid Mara’s skirt down and she stepped out of it as he sat down on the bed and she straddled him. “Millie said I wasn’t allowed to sleep with you while you were babysitting for them,” Nathan moaned as Mara started to kiss along his jaw.

“Well, I’m not babysitting right now, am I,” Mara whispered in his ear before sucking his ear lobe. This put Nathan’s sex drive into overdrive as he pulled Mara down to him for a more passionate kiss. She climbed back off of his lap, unclasping her bra, chucking it on the floor and then sliding her underwear off, leaving her completely naked. Nathan bit his bottom lip as he looked her up and down. She climbed back onto his lap, tilting his head up to face her. “Make this good again,” Mara smirked as she teasingly kissed the corner of his mouth lightly.

  32. Giving a tux

Tom was trying on his tux for his wedding. Millie had been sent on watch to make sure he bought one that was suitable. Noah was with Jay and Max for the day while Kennedy was with her, Nathan and Tom. Every time Tom came out of the dressing room with a different tux on, Kennedy said no. Finally, Tom came out with a tux that had a waistcoat underneath that matched the colour scheme and fitted him nicely. Kennedy wriggled off of Millie’s lap and stumbled over to Tom. “This one,” she smiled. Tom lifted her up and placed her on his hip.

“You reckon, Ken?” Tom asked, looking himself over in the mirror. Kennedy nodded. “You think Kelsey will like it?”

“Yes,” Kennedy grinned. “Kelley love you.”

“Mils, what do you reckon?” Tom asked, placing Kennedy back on the floor. She stumbled over to Nathan and climbed on his lap. “Is this right for the wedding? Right colour and style and everything?”

“Yeah,” Millie chuckled. “It goes with the colour scheme and Kels will love you in it. Trust me, Pecker.”

Tom looked himself over in the mirror; not sure whether it suited him or not. Nathan sat back and watched Millie and Tom talk about the tux. Kennedy sat on his lap, playing with his keys. “She’ll definitely like it? Because if I fuck up the tux, it’ll ruin her wedding day.” Tom really wanted to make sure he had the perfect tux for Kelsey.

Millie slapped Tom’s upper arm with the back of her hand. “Language!” she warned Tom. “And Kelsey wouldn’t care if you looked like a scruffy twat because she loves you.” Well, okay, this was a lie. Kelsey had told Millie that if Tom rolled up in jeans and one of his casual tops, she’d rip his head off. But as long as the tux matched the colours of the theme and he looked “fit and adorable”, then she didn’t care what style and everything he was wearing. “I’m going to make your mind up for you; it’s that one you’re buying,” Millie grinned. She turned around from Tom and went back to sit with Nathan and Kennedy. Kennedy crawled straight onto Millie’s lap, dropping Nathan’s keys on the ground.

  33. NYC arrival

“That flight could’ve gone better,” Jay groaned as they made their way through the airport towards baggage claim. Kennedy had pretty much screamed throughout the flight. The only time she was quiet was either when she was being fed or when Nathan had finally got her to sleep. Nathan was in fact carrying Kennedy through the airport with her head resting on his shoulder. They went through passport control and then came out into the baggage claim area. Jay loaded all of their stuff and the other lads’ stuff onto a trolley and began pushing it before Max took over. Noah was awake and was taking in everything around him. Of course, when they arrived past customs, they could hear the faint cheer of adoring fans, waiting to meet them from the airport. Millie tried to take Kennedy from Nathan but every time they tried to take her off of Nathan, she started to stir and start her whimpering she usually did before crying. The safest option was to keep her with Nathan. Max, Tom and Siva headed out to the fans first.

“Hi, everyone,” they said as they went out. The crowd of fans erupted into screams and yells. “Look, could you all be quiet, please?” Tom asked. Millie, Jay, Nathan, Kelsey and Jade were still the other side of the arrivals collection. “Kennedy screamed most of the flight and she’s only just gone to sleep,” Tom yelled, receiving everybody’s attention. “So, could you all be quiet when they come through?” The fans nodded their heads and chorused a ‘yes’. “It also means that you won’t be able to see Nathan because he’s got Kennedy asleep on him and she keeps waking if we take her off.” Some of the fans let out a disappointed noise. “Now, we’re going to bring them out so please be quiet as they come through. Jay will stay but Nathan’s going to be helping Millie with Ken.”

Millie, Kelsey, Jay, Nathan, Noah, Kennedy and Jade came through. Jay diverted off to the fans as the other six carried on to the minivan waiting outside; Kelsey and Jade taking over the luggage trolley. A lot of the fans let out “aww” sounds as Nathan walked past. Nathan had a smirk on his face as he walked out of the airport and climbed into the minibus with Kennedy still in his arms. Kelsey noticed as she lifted Noah into his car seat. “Wipe the smirk off your face, Syko,” she chuckled. “They may think you’re cute with a baby but you’re nearly a taken guy again.” Nathan snorted. “Are you and Mara not getting together?” Kelsey added.

“She’s 17,” Nathan stated, making Kennedy to sit on his lap with her head against his chest. “She’d never think of settling for me. How many of you have settled for the second guy you’ve slept with?” Nathan asked the three girls.

“Siva’s my first and only,” Jade shrugged as she placed Kennedy’s car seat in place, lifted her off of Nathan’s lap and strapped her in.

Millie and Kelsey looked at each other; the other hoping they’d be the one to say their number first. “I’m not saying until you’ve said,” Millie giggled as she folded Noah’s pushchair up. “Then again, I won’t be the only slag here.” Millie stuck her tongue out at Kelsey, teasing her.

“Well, at least I haven’t slept with two of the guys on this minibus,” Kelsey sang as she took a seat on the minibus and waited for Millie to put Noah’s pushchair in the back.

“Shut up,” Millie mumbled as she climbed in next to Kelsey, Noah’s car seat in her hand. She strapped Noah’s seat in before making sure he was securely in it.

“So, Millie’s on at least five,” Nathan smirked, stroking Kennedy’s hair.

“Five?” Millie questioned, wondering how Nathan had got to that number already.

“Me, Jay, Taylor,” Millie let an involuntary shiver roll up and down her spine, “one of Tom’s friends and the guy you left Bolton because of.”

Millie looked down at Noah and blushed a little; not sure whether to take the fact that Nathan had remembered these little things about her as a compliment or think of him as a bit of a creep. “I’m not saying my number; even Jay doesn’t know!” Millie blushed.

  34. Hotel memories

Jay let him and Millie into the room, both carrying one of the twins. Kennedy was still miraculously asleep whereas Noah was awake and bubbly. He was exactly like Jay. When Jay was awake and excited, Noah usually was; when Jay was sleepy and moody, Noah usually was. Millie headed into the smaller room of the two bedrooms they had in their hotel rooms and found two cots fit for a prince and princess. Millie laid Kennedy down in the cot nearest to the window and shut the curtains, letting her catch up on the sleep she should’ve had on the plane. She joined Noah and Jay out in the living area where Jay was tickling Noah. “When he gets too excited, you’ll have to deal with him,” Millie teased as she lay on her back on the sofa, turning her head to watch Noah and Jay on the floor. Jay had Noah’s top raised up his body and blew a big raspberry on it.

“Eww,” Jay wrinkled his face up, jokingly. “Noah’s letting out big, loud blow-offs today.” Noah responded by giggling. Jay continued to blow his lips against Noah’s belly and the sound repeated itself. “Oh, God, nope, that smell is definitely real.” Jay laughed as he wrinkled his face up. “Does mummy want a present?” Jay went to turn around and found Millie asleep on the sofa. “Mummy’s asleep. So, I guess daddy has to deal with it. And I think you should have a nap.” Jay took himself and Noah into the bathroom, grabbing the baby bag from the door where Millie dropped it. “Because you have been up since 5am and you don’t like being up this long.” Jay continued his baby talking as he changed and cleaned Noah’s dirty bum and nappy. Once finished, he carried Noah through to the twins’ bedroom and placed him in the free cot. Noah started whimpering, wanting his Simba toy which Jay quickly ran to get before the full-fledged tears started to escape the curly-haired little boy.

Once Noah had settled and Jay had checked up on Kennedy, he went back into the living area and picked Millie up – bridal style – from the sofa, carrying her through to the master bedroom. He lifted the duvet up and placed her in the bed. Jay climbed in next to her, brushing his fingers through her hair and admiring her facial features. He traced the tip of his ring finger on his left hand from the spot where her hairline meets the top of her forehead, down the length of her nose and then over her lips, finishing at the bottom of her chin. “I may be snoozing but I can feel everything you’re doing,” Millie mumbled, rolling over into Jay a bit. Jay wrapped his arms around her as she snuggled up to him. Jay automatically intertwined his fingers with hers, holding their hands together over his chest.

“If you can feel everything ....” Jay let the sentence hang, seeing if Millie would catch his drift. Millie stayed silent though. Jay kissed the top of her head as his left hand ran down her back and around to the front of her jeans. Millie squeezed his fingers unknowingly as the anticipation of his fingers teased her. Her breath became shorter as he rolled her away from him for easier access – quite literally – into her pants. He slid his hand lower until he felt the place where her lips met. He slid his middle finger down lower. “I love how wet you get from just the thought of anything sexual happening to you,” Jay chuckled in her ear. Millie blushed and rolled out of his grip to the other side of the bed. “Millie,” Jay groaned, shuffling over to her. She had a devilish grin on her face as he moved closer, taking the right opportunity to climb on to his lap. Their lips caught immediately and she suddenly felt like the morning of her 21st birthday where they were having sex for the first time. Jay lifted her top up and broke their kiss as he took it over her head. He took this opportunity to take his own top off. He pulled Millie back down, kissing her passionately. He tangled his fingers in her hair as he mumbled an “I love you” against her lips. His hands quickly trailed down her body to the button on her jeans. With their eyes still closed and their lips still moving, Jay unclasped the button and pulled down the zipper, rolling Millie onto her back to pull her jeans and underwear down. He slid a finger into her warmth and slowly started to manoeuvre his finger in and out of her.

“Jay,” Millie moaned, although he could tell it was only half because of the pleasure he was giving her.

“I can hear it too,” Jay sighed, not changing his pace. “Just ignore it; they’ll go away.”

“If it’s Tom...” Millie couldn’t finish the sentence as Jay had slid another finger in and was becoming quicker with his pumping.

“He’ll go away,” Jay half-chuckled in her ear. He fussed around with taking his jeans and boxers off before leaning over her and placing a kiss on her lips. “See,” he smiled as the knocking on the hotel room door stopped, “they’ve gone.”

  35. George never knocks

Tom tried the door handle, finding the door unlocked. Tom found this weird; Jay always locked his hotel door. He was scared a fan was going to just barge in. Not now; he’ll have Tom to worry about barging in on him. Tom and Max snuck in, listening out for any sound coming from either of the bedrooms. They both heard a noise – a female noise – coming from the left hand bedroom. Tom put his hands over his ears and nodded his head to Max to the door. Max tiptoed over and put his ear against the door. A devious smirk developed on his face. “It’s your sister,” he mouthed at Tom who headed for the other door to find Noah awake and sitting watching Kennedy sleeping. Max chuckled quietly before opening the door wide open.

“Max!” Millie screamed, pulling the duvet up over Jay’s back and covering her upper half. Max fell about laughing while Tom stayed put in the twin’s room. “Get the fuck out, Maximillian!” Tom couldn’t help but laugh at how Millie was ordering Max to get out of hers and Jay’s room.

“Why is everyone having sex?” Max groaned as he came into the twin’s bedroom. He sat down in the rocking chair and sulked for a bit. “I’m bored and I want to do something with everyone.”

“Well, we can take these two out as they’re obviously busy doing disgusting things,” Tom snapped.

“Mate, you do realise they had to do those dirty things to get these two, right?” Max smirked, reminding Tom of how Jay and Millie had to have sex to make the twins. Tom shivered as he picked Noah up and placed him in the pushchair. He left Kennedy sleeping as she needed it and it meant that Jay and Millie would have to stop at one point when she started to cry.

  36. Not expecting

Jay pouted and stuck his bottom lip out as he lay on the bed with the twins. Millie was dressed up in a dark turquoise dress that revealed quite a bit. Jay was jealous that guys were going to be looking at Millie all night and he wasn’t going to be able to – well, without looking super-protective-jealous-boyfriend like. Every time Millie came within reaching distance of the bed, Jay reached out and grabbed her, pulling her back onto the bed. “Can’t you just explain to Kelsey that I couldn’t take my hands off of you?” Jay sulked.

Millie giggled as she shook her head. Her straight hair lightly hit her face. “It’s Kels’ hen do,” Millie smiled, rolling on to her front and kissing Jay on the cheek. “I can’t miss it otherwise she’d kill me.”

“But I don’t think it’s fair that everyone gets to look at you all night but me,” he sulked more.

“James,” Millie warned. “You and Nath are looking after Ken and No while I go out and get drunk with Kels, Jade, Britt and .... who’s the other person?”

“Kelsey’s sister,” Jay laughed. “She’s your future sister-in-law-in-law and you don’t even know who she is.”

“Do you know Tom’s girlfriend’s siblings?” Millie asked, her hands on her hips. Jay scooped up both of the twins and stood in front of Millie.

“Yes, actually,” he said, pulling a smug face before exiting the room.

“Twat,” Millie laughed as Jay went into the twin’s room to put them to bed.

“Are you going to say goodnight to these before they fall asleep?” Jay shouted through. He heard a sigh from Millie before she appeared at the door. “And language,” Jay chuckled as he flicked Millie’s ear lightly. Millie stuck her tongue out at him before kissing Kennedy on the forehead and saying goodnight. She did the same to Noah before Jay did the same. Jay wrapped his arm around Millie’s waist as they both exited the twin’s bedroom. He planted kisses along Millie’s neck and down her shoulder. “It’s a shame you have to leave,” Jay murmured in Millie’s ear, moving his hand down the front of her body and slowly lifting her dress. She hummed in response, wanting to spend the night in with Jay. “We could do all sorts of things.” Jay turned Millie around in his arms. He sat himself on the sofa and guided Millie to straddle his lap. “You’re so easily persuaded.”

As soon as the words of realisation left his mouth, Jay became worried. If any guy got Millie into this position, she was surely going to be theirs for the night, or possibly more. He tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled up at her, admiring all of her right now. He truly did love her; truly, madly, deeply. He loved every feature of her face, legs, arms, chest, stomach, just everywhere. If there was a time to ask her to spend the rest of their lives together, surely it was now. Although, he didn’t have the ring on him but it was in the bedroom, in amongst his suitcase. “I love you,” Millie smiled. She bent down and kissed him passionately. “And this will be one night of many where I go out with the girls or with some other friends to get drunk, but I’ll always come back to you.”

“I don’t think I could ever live without you.” Jay’s grip tightened on her hips without him realising. “Millie,” he asked. Millie leant back a little as the atmosphere changed. “Millicent Jemima Parker.”

“Yes?” Millie asked; a smile evident on her face with the question she’d been wanting for the past couple of years.

“I don’t have the ring on me, it’s in the bedroom, but will you marry me?” Jay played with bits of her dress nervously as Millie kept him hanging for longer than he expected.

All of a sudden, Millie started giggling at Jay’s reaction. “Of course, I will,” Millie smiled as she wrapped her arms around Jay’s neck and kissed his nose. “Why would I say no?”

Jay started doubting himself and thought of a dozen reasons as to why she shouldn’t be with him. She could only think of one reason why she wouldn’t be with him. If she ever stopped loving, caring, respecting him, that’s when she knew she couldn’t be with him. But she couldn’t see that day happening. Nothing could tear them apart now that they were together. And with that thought in her head, Nathan knocked on the door.

  37. Missing something

Millie sighed before shouting a “come in” to Nathan standing the other side. Nathan let himself in, his music still blaring through his headphones. “Y’alright?” he asked as he slumped down on the sofa. He smirked at the way that Millie was still on Jay’s lap before he pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent a text to Mara. “Oh, Mils,” he suddenly remember the message Kelsey shouted to him from down the corridor. “Kelsey asked you to go to her room as soon as you’re ready. And Tom and Max are coming here when Kelsey and Tom’s room gets too hectic and the girls start drinking.”

“Well, I’m nearly ready.” Millie climbed off of Jay’s lap and walked over to her bedroom door. “I just need shoes and to re-straighten some bits of my hair and...” She continued to talk as she fussed around in the bedroom.

“I didn’t know I was interrupting,” Nathan smirked at Jay. “You could’ve shouted that you’d like me to come back later.”

“If I had my way, you wouldn’t be required to come back at all,” Jay continued to sulk. “It’s alright for you; Mara’s back in London doing her course at college.”

“She’s only going out for drinks with Kelsey, Jade, Britt and Nicola.” Nathan widened his eyes briefly as he turned his attention back to his phone. “It’s not like she’s going out with an intention to pull,” he chuckled. Jay huffed to himself as Millie came back out of the bedroom with her shoes on her feet and her bag in her hands.

“Do I look alright?” she asked, checking herself over in a full length mirror on the wall by the door. Jay jumped up from the sofa and skidded over to her.

“Perfect,” he whispered in her ear. “I will look forward to taking it off of you later.” He gently sucked on her bottom lip as he kissed her before realising he hadn’t given her the engagement ring. “Although, you are missing something.” Jay smirked as he rubbed his thumb up and down her left ring finger where the engagement ring was missing.

“Go and get it,” Millie whispered with a giggle, receiving a quick peck on the lips from Jay.

“What’s going on?” Nathan asked, taking his attention away from his phone for once. Jay rushed around in the bedroom, trying to find the ring he was keeping hidden from Millie

“Try your side of the underwear drawer and inside your “lucky” underwear,” Millie tried to help out. She’d unpacked Jay’s suitcase when he was too lazy to. She came across the little Tiffany box and was really tempted to open it and look but she wanted it to be more of a surprise if she didn’t know what the ring looked like.

When Millie and Jay had fallen pregnant with the twins, Jay had casually asked what rings she liked the look of. She was hoping for one then but he’d wait another 18 months before it happened. What she didn’t know was that that ring had been waiting in their house for 16 of those months. He had numerous times of when he could’ve proposed but he never had the ring with him so the engagement was just being put off for longer and longer. And when he just proposed, he couldn’t care less if he had the ring with him; it was the right moment and he wanted her to finally say that one word he’d been needing for the past year and a half. Although, he didn’t actually need her to say yes to marrying him for him to know she was his forever.

                                             38. Other hand

Millie slyly kept her left hand out of sight from Kelsey, Tom and the rest of the girls as they started drinking in the hotel room. Tom gave one last kiss to Kelsey before spotting the ring on Millie’s finger. He smirked before saying, “erm, Mils? What’s that on your finger?” Kelsey immediately turned around and looked at Millie’s right hand which was on show, finding nothing on her hand. “Other hand, Kels,” Tom chuckled, stepping forward and wrapping his hand around Millie’s left wrist and showing everybody in the room the ring on her finger. “He finally asked you after 16 months.” Tom was the first to give her a congratulating hug.

“I was going to let him tell you the good news,” Millie sighed with a smile. “I was going to tell this lot when you’d gone. Idiot!” Millie smacked Tom round the back of the head. “But, yes, he finally propos... hang on ... 16 months?”

“Yeah,” Tom laughed. “He’s had that ring since the Christmas before the twins were born. He wanted to do it on Christmas when he was up at ours. He even asked dad for his blessing.” Millie “aww”ed on the inside. “But he left the ring in your house and couldn’t do it. I told him to man up and just ask you. You wouldn’t have been bothered if he just asked you without a ring, right?”

“Well, no, because he just did it without the ring,” Millie laughed. Kelsey squeezed Millie in a tight hug. Jade was next and then Britt. Nicola continued to sit on the bed, a bit nervous around them all as she wasn’t used to Britt, Jade and Millie. “Tom, why don’t you leave us to get drunk and celebrate for a couple of minutes before focussing on Kels’ hen do? Oh, and go and congratulate your best friend.”

Millie was being bossy towards her big brother but he took it light-heartedly. He gave Millie a kiss on the cheek before whispering congratulations and leaving the room. The girls giggled and chatted excitedly about the engagement before Kelsey lifted her wine glass in the air, followed by the other four girls. “I would like to make a toast,” Kelsey giggled. “To Millie; he’s finally proposed and that means that both the Parker children will be married soon. And I cannot wait to have you and Jay as an official sister and brother-in-law. Congratulations, Mils.”

“Congratulations,” Britt, Jade and Nicola all smiled. Millie whispered a “thank you” before they all clinked glasses.

“And now to start the drinking properly with vodka shots,” Kelsey cheered, rushing over to the minifridge and pulling the vodka bottle out.

  39. He’s here

“I never thought I’d see my sister more drunk than me,” Nicola giggled as Kelsey lay down on the sofa in the booth.

“Kelsey,” Britt laughed as she dragged Kelsey up into the sitting position. Her feather boa had been lost somewhere in the club and her crown sat lop-sided on top of her head. “Kels, we’re going to take you back to the hotel, yeah?”

“No,” Kelsey moaned, wanting to stay even though she couldn’t open her eyes. She felt sick and couldn’t walk and she was determined not to get up until she felt she could. Being Tom Parker from The Wanted’s girlfriend had its disadvantages at times; she couldn’t be seen being carried out of this club on her hen night. She needed to sober up a bit and she was determined not to leave until she could. “Where’s Jadeypants?” Millie, Britt and Nicola all giggled at Kelsey.

“I’ll go get her,” Nicola laughed, squeezing past Millie and walking off in the direction of the toilets.

“Millie,” Kelsey pouted and took Millie’s hand in hers. “Can you go and get me some water?” Millie smiled before nodding, asking Britt to make sure she stays awake.

Millie stood at the bar and tried to get someone’s attention just for some water. “What can I get you?” a voice said next to Millie.

“Nothing, thank you,” Millie said without looking at the face belonging to the voice.

“No, go on,” he insisted. The voice was from London. She saw the bartender waiting for her order.

“Three bottles of water please,” Millie ordered. The bartender came back with her drinks and the guy paid. “Thank you,” she smiled as she turned to face the guy. When she saw who it was, she dropped the water. He smiled at her and reached forward to stroke her face. He was high and she could tell. “Get off of me,” she hissed, slapping his hand away from her cheek. She bent down to grab the water she dropped and made her way quickly over to Kelsey. “Come on, Kelsey,” Millie urged. “We’re leaving here. And I don’t care what state you’re in. We need to leave.”

“What’s happened?” Jade asked as she and Nicola walked over. Britt had a look of confusion and concern on her face.

“Kelsey, please,” Millie begged as she knelt down beside her and handed Kelsey the water. “Please let us leave now.”

“Why do you want to leave so badly?” Kelsey whispered before taking a sip of the water. Kelsey tried her hardest to focus on Millie and when she saw how scared Millie was, she went into big sister mode. “Millie?” Kelsey asked; the adrenaline taking over the alcohol in her blood stream and giving her the effect of being sober.

“He’s here, Kels,” Millie whimpered. “Taylor’s here!”

  40. Nightmare memories

Kelsey stood up from the booth and grabbed Millie’s hand. She held Nicola close to her too. She didn’t want Taylor getting his drugged up, sly hands on her little sister. “We’re going back to the hotel,” Kelsey shouted as Millie grabbed Britt’s hand and Britt grabbed Jade’s.

“What’s going on?” Jade asked from the back of the group. Kelsey dragged everyone out of the club and tried to call down a taxi to take them back.

“Taylor’s in the club,” Millie trembled. She started shaking and all the memories of him drugging, kidnapping and raping her came flooding back to her mind. Kelsey called down a taxi and shoved Millie in first before climbing in and pulling the other three girls in. Kelsey gave the driver the hotel name and he started the journey back.

“Millie,” Kelsey said in a comforting tone as she rubbed her hand up and down Millie’s arm. “It’s okay. He isn’t here. He’s probably still back in the club and as soon as you get back to your room, Jay will make sure he doesn’t come anywhere near you, okay?” Kelsey continued to comfort Millie. Millie was unresponsive now. She was still shaking slightly but she had tuned Kelsey out while she tried to forget the memories.

“What are you doing?” Taylor’s voice rang through her head. He was standing at the bottom of the stairs; an evil glint in his eye and an angry expression on his face.

“Going home,” Millie tried to yell but her voice cracked. It came out in a whisper that Taylor couldn’t hear. “Going back home,” she tried a little louder.

“No, you’re not,” Taylor said angrily. He grabbed her hair and dragged her up the stairs.

“You’re going to pay for this!” Taylor yelled before he placed the door back in the gap.

“Help!” Millie screamed before Taylor smacked his fist into the side of her head; silencing her.

The memories were coming back clearer than ever and she was scared for them becoming real this time.

  41. Alert Tom

Kelsey kept Millie close to her as they entered the hotel and made their way up to their individual rooms. Kelsey banged on Jay and Millie’s door until Jay answered, looking tired. He saw Millie’s shock-white face and gave Kelsey a questioning look as he took Millie into his arms. “What the fuck happened?” Jay asked as he pulled Kelsey into the hotel room too.

“I saw Taylor,” Millie whispered, slowly looking up to Jay as he sat them down on the sofa. Millie felt Jay tense his arms around her. “All the memories are back, Jay.”

Jay pulled Millie into him tighter. “They’re not real, bear,” he whispered in her ear as he rocked her in his arms. “Forget them; they never happened to you.” Kelsey slowly crept out of the room and ran to hers to fetch Tom. She returned a couple of minutes later with a very wide awake, alert Tom. Millie had calmed down considerably as Tom came into the room. She saw Tom and climbed out of Jay’s grasp and into Tom’s.

“It’s okay,” Tom whispered in her ear. He wrapped his arms tightly around her body and kissed her forehead, shooting a worried face at Jay and Kelsey.

  42. LA comfort

Millie had been tense ever since the encounter with Taylor. She was paranoid that he was out to get her. Even though she had no proof that he was like how he was in her dreams. All he’d done to her was spiked her drink once to try and get her to have a good, fun, relaxing time out with his friends. He didn’t realise that she’d react badly to the drug and have a fit.

Millie didn’t let anybody take the twins’ out of her sight. When they all arrived in LA (with the exception of Kelsey and Jade who had jobs to get to and Nicola who was only invited along for the hen do), Millie slept on the sofa in the twins’ room. No matter how much time Jay spent on trying to get Millie to sleep in their bed in the band LA house, he couldn’t budge her from that sofa. “He’s in New York,” Jay had tried to use to persuade her, but it still didn’t work. She wouldn’t even let Tom look after either of the twins and this broke his heart. Tom loved those twins as much as he would love his own children, when the time came that Kelsey fell pregnant. He was still oblivious to Kelsey still continuing to block his efforts in trying to get them pregnant. She honestly wanted to be drunk and skinny on her wedding day. Definitely not sober and fat.

It was the fourth night in LA and Jay was yet trying to persuade Millie to come into the bedroom that was adjoined to the twins’ bedroom. Millie refused to leave the sofa and watched as Kennedy and Noah drifted off to sleep in front of her eyes. Jay was becoming more and more pissed off as Millie refused to join him in their room. It was the first time they’d all stayed in this house and Millie hadn’t stepped a foot into their room. Jay became more frustrated with every minute that passed today and he could feel himself regretting asking Millie to marry him. In fact, with the frustration and anger he was feeling about how Millie was acting, he was regretting more than just the proposal. “Millie,” Jay growled. “Stop being so fucking stupid. Taylor probably doesn’t even care about you, us or the twins. Fuck, he probably doesn’t even know about the twins.” Millie stayed silent. Jay realised how he sounded and immediately felt guilty and bad. “I’m sorry, bear, but I miss having you in the same bed as me.” He knelt down in front of Millie, reaching a hand up to stroke her cheek. “The house is protected, and you know that if either of the twins wake up, Tom and Nathan will be up and ready to run to this room.” Jay moved closer to Millie. “Bear? Please?” He looked into her eyes and saw how scared she looked. “I wouldn’t let anyone hurt our babies. And you know that.” He gently kissed her, hoping it would bring her back to how she was a few days earlier. Millie sighed and stood from her spot on the sofa.

“If anything happens-”

“Nothing will happen, I promise.” Jay picked Millie up in his arms and carried her through to their bedroom.

  43. Britt and Millie look after the twins

The boys woke early the next morning and were off to the studio before 9am. Millie woke when Jay woke but stayed in the bed as he got ready. He gave her an affectionate kiss on the nose before he left. Millie got up soon after all the lads left and went to check on the twins. Britt was already in the nursery, cradling Noah in her arms. “Oh, sorry,” Britt apologised, standing up to put Noah back in his cot.

“No problem,” Millie smiled, picking Kennedy out of her cot as she stood and stretched her arms out towards Millie. “When’d he wake up?”

“About 20 minutes ago,” Britt cooed as she tickled Noah lightly. “I was waiting until you got up before I fed him.” Millie led the way to the kitchen where she and Britt put the twins in their high chairs. Millie pulled two pots out of cupboard and opened them both, handing Britt one with a spoon. Both of them pulled a chair up to the twins’ high chairs and started to feed them. “It took you long enough to go into your room,” Britt commented.

“Yeah,” Millie sighed, tickling Kennedy’s feet lightly. “I know Jay was starting to get pissed off.”

“Yeah, he said some things,” Britt mumbled.

“Go on,” Millie smiled. “Spill. What did he say?”

“I’m not going to say,” Britt laughed. “Some of the things I know he’s regretting even thinking, let alone saying aloud.”

“That bad?” Millie asked. “I can only imagine what he was thinking.”

“You really don’t want to know,” Britt shook her head. “I told him off for having those thoughts.” Millie and Britt both chuckled as the twins finished their breakfast. “And someone’s pooped in their diaper.”

“Thanks for helping out with these the past few days,” Millie smiled.

“No worries, I’ve got to get some practise before Max is begging to start,” Britt laughed, picking Noah up and placing him on her hip. “He’s dropping hints already and with you, Jay, Kelsey and Tom all getting married and engaged, it won’t be long for him. Although, I’m surprised that Siva hasn’t asked Jade yet.”

“He’s planning to though,” Millie smirked. Britt stopped feeding Noah and turned to face Millie. “Okay,” Millie said, turning to face Britt. “He’s only told Jay, who told me, that he’s bought the ring but he has no idea how to propose to her. Tom proposed after he’d cooked Kelsey dinner and Jay kind of didn’t really set a standard.”

“Oh come on. It was really sweet. He said that it was just the two of you, these two were asleep and all he could think was about how he wanted to spend the rest of his life calling you his and being with you.” Millie pulled a gagging face. “I think it’s sweet.”

“It was really sweet in the moment,” Millie thought back a few days. “He looked at me really lovingly and I felt special to him.” She turned back to Kennedy and continued to feed her, a goofy smile spreading across her lips. “I’m not fussed about the engagement or the wedding; it’s the marriage I want. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I want to watch these two grow up together and any other kids we have, and to watch them go off and have their own kids. I want to be with him through all his highs and his lows; when they win an award, when they get another number one, when they reach another level of platinum on a single. I want to be there when they agree to go their separate ways when they feel too old to be doing it anymore. I want to be there throughout his life and his career, always feeling proud and loving him no matter what.”

“Quite a speech,” Britt giggled.

“Shut up,” Millie tried to do in Britt’s accent, but failing at even getting an American accent, resulting in both the girls falling into a fit of giggles as they finished feeding the twins.

  44. Vegas baby

“We’ll see you when you get back,” Millie smiled as she stood at LAX with Jay. He was sulking because he didn’t want to leave her knowing she was just going to be hanging out in nearly nothing while looking after Noah and Millie. It had been a few days since Britt and Millie spent the day together and Britt had to fly off to Toronto for a fashion shoot she was booked for. “Go get drunk with the lads,” Millie whispered, her forehead pressed against Jay’s very own.

“I’m going to miss you, Millie bear,” he sulked.

“It’s three days you’re gone for,” Millie giggled placing a kiss on his lips. “Go have fun.” She winked at him as she pulled away. “If I get a phone call from you at all, I’ll turn the twins against you.” Millie threw Jay a playful scorn as she picked Kennedy up from the pushchair. “Ken, say bye to daddy for a bit.” Millie handed Kennedy over to Jay who gave her one of his bear cuddles.

“I’m going to miss you baby,” he cooed in her ear, causing her to giggle in his.

“Dada,” she giggled as he held her on his hip. She poked him in the nose.

“And No, say bye-bye to dada,” Millie smiled as she handed Noah over to Jay too, placing him on his other hip.

“Bye-bye,” Noah waved with his right hand while rubbing his eye with his left.

“Millie,” Jay whined, pecking each of the twins on the cheek. “You’re making them look and act all cute and making me feel worse.”

“Man up, dude,” Millie laughed.

“Come on, Bird,” Max yelled from his spot in the line for security. Jay pulled a pouty face before Tom came over to make a quick fuss of the twins.

“That’s how you do it,” Millie giggled as Tom handed Noah back to her. “You make a quick fuss and leave before you get too attached. You, Mr McGuiness, get too attached to these two before you leave.”

Jay made a long line of mocking sounds before placing Noah and Kennedy back into their pushchair and giving them both a kiss on the forehead. He took Millie in his arms again and gave her a long kiss while Max, Nathan and Siva all shouted at him to put her down and get on the plane to “Vegas, baby!”

  45. Failed Nottingham accent

All five boys arrived in Vegas. They arrived at their hotel for the next two nights and decided as soon as they hit their 5-bed suite, they were hitting the booze. Max and Nathan were the first to crack any available booze they had open. Usually, Jay would be joining him but he went straight for the first bedroom he could see, opening it wide to see two beds in there. He placed his carry-on bag at the end of the bed and laid down on it. Siva followed into the bedroom, placing his bag on the set of drawers that was placed against the smallest wall of the room.

“You alright, mate?” Siva tried to do in his Nottingham accent, resulting in Jay and Siva both smiling and chuckling.

“Yeah,” Jay continued to chuckle. “I’ve spent hardly any time with the twins and Millie lately and that was the reason why I bought them along this time.”

“It’s not our fault that the record label want an album out of us soon,” Siva sympathised as he patted Jay’s shoulder. “Although we have kept them waiting for a year and a half now.”

“Way to make a guy feel worse,” Jay chuckled, standing up from the bed. “It’s Tom’s weekend; I should just forget about Millie and the babies for the moment and just enjoy the fact that we’re all getting slaughtered as a final send-off to Tom before he ties the knot with Kels.”

“That’s the Jay we know and love,” Siva cheered, leading the pair out into the communal area of the suite.

  46. Hungover, baby

The five lads flew back to LA. Millie stayed at the house, chilling in the back garden with the babies. She heard the five of them come through the front door and carried Noah and Kennedy through to greet them. “Hi, bo- wow, you lot look awful,” Millie commented.

Nathan walked up to her, his face looking tired and not happy. “Where’s the volume on you?” he asked as he started turning her nose and ears to ‘turn the volume down’. She placed the twins down in their high chairs before slapping his hands away. He stumbled in the direction of the stairs after Tom and Max to find their bedrooms.

Jay walked over to Millie and buried his face in her neck. “Good couple of days?” Millie whispered as she watched Siva sit down at the table and place his forehead against it.

“Yeah,” Jay whispered back, kissing the soft skin of her neck. “I don’t remember any of it so it must’ve been good.” Siva groaned, clearly agreeing with Jay. “Please tell me it’s shark week already so I don’t have to worry about having to please you tonight.”

“Oh, thanks,” Millie giggled, pushing him away lightly. “And yes, you’re in luck.”

“I’m in the room,” Siva said, putting his hand in the air to signal where he was. “I don’t need to know that.”

“Seev,” Millie started as she sat down in the chair next to Siva. Jay pulled a chair up between the twins’ high chairs and started making a big, hungover fuss of them. “Britt, Kelsey and I have been thinking about what you could do for your proposal to Jade.”

“You told Kelsey and Britt?” Siva asked, ready to argue why he didn’t want them to know but then not having the energy and slightly grateful Millie had told them so that he could find out how Jade would want Siva to propose to her.

“Yes, and as Kelsey and Jade have been friends for the longest and are the closest, you need this information.” Siva sighed, his head still resting on the table. “What would be the thing you wouldn’t mind doing with Jade every day for the rest of your life?”

“Is this a serious question?” Siva asked, looking between Millie and Jay. Jay shrugged as Millie nodded her head.

“Yes, now answer!”

Siva contemplated how he was going to answer this question. He knew that somehow, his answer was going to get back to Jade. The girls were worse for gossiping than a couple of 13 year old high schoolers. “Sitting on our couch, eating her hot pepper, spicy chicken with a Star Wars movie on the TV.” Millie smiled at his answer, making him think he’d got it right when truth-be-told, that was what he would love to be doing for the rest of his life.

“So, I was thinking...”

  47. Come out

“And that, ladies and gentlemen,” Nathan announced as he and the other four lads came through the front door of their LA band house, “is how you wrap up an album.”

“Congratulations,” Millie yelled from the living room. She had Kennedy sitting upright beside her and Noah was asleep in the dining room. “Does that mean we get to go home soon?”

“Well,” Jay started, sitting himself down next to Millie. “We’re going out tonight to celebrate. Fancy joining us?”

“It’s your album so I think you five should go out. I came out with you the past couple of nights and I don’t think I should be leaving the twins again.”

“Mummm, stay,” Kennedy ordered from beside them.

“Listen to the boss, bird.” Millie and Jay both giggled before Nathan swooped in and lifted her off the sofa, resulting in her giggle to fill the room. “I’m serious.” Jay pouted slightly. “The five of you should go out with Kev and everyone for a few drinks.”

Jay made a whining noise, disliking the fact that Millie wasn’t coming out with them. “Please?” he whimpered. Millie shook her head and kissed him. “Mils,” he whispered, leaning her back against the sofa. “You know you want to,” he continued, kissing down her neck.

“I’m still in the room,” Nathan coughed before taking himself out of the room, Kennedy still in his arms.

“Come on, Mils,” he groaned as his hips started to grind against hers. “Come out with us.”

“You have a bedroom,” Tom complained as he walked into the room and sat down in the spare seat by Millie’s head. “Go use that instead of the sofa.” He placed his left hand over Millie’s face, irritating her and resulting in his hand being bitten.

  48. Taking it the wrong way

Millie heard the front door crash open as she was coming out of the twins’ room, putting them to bed for the night. She ran down to the bottom of the stairs seeing a pissed off Nathan. “Where are the -”

“I got kicked out of the bar,” he yelled. “Me, Nathan fucking Sykes, part of a worldwide boy band sensation, got kicked out of the fucking bar.”

“Okay, Nath, calm –”

“All because some twat decided he was going to make a dig at our music and our success.” He stormed through to the kitchen and headed straight for the fridge. Millie shut the front door and followed him, running over to the fridge to stop Nathan opening another beer.

“From the sounds of it, you’ve had enough to drink,” Millie said sternly, placing herself between Nathan and the fridge. “Come on, let’s go calm you down with a cuppa instead. And some TV?”

Nathan looked Millie dead in the eyes with a scowl for a few seconds before he gave in. At the same time, each of them wrapped their arms around the other’s body. “After all our hard work, there are still people who say things like that,” Nathan whispered, his breath hitting a sensitive spot on her neck causing her to shiver.

“Ignore them, Nath,” Millie whispered back, leaning back to place a kiss on his cheek. “The others managed to ignore them, you should’ve too.” Nathan pulled out of the hug and made his way to the living room, rolling his eyes when he thought Millie couldn’t see them. Millie stuck the kettle on and quickly made two cups of tea, hopefully slightly sobering Nathan up and calming him down.

Nathan had Friends on TV as Millie sat down next to him, handing his cup of tea to him. His fist was still clenched but as they both drank their tea, watching Friends and not talking, she noticed it begin to relax. “Another cup?” Millie asked, breaking their silence.

“I’ll make it,” Nathan whispered, leaning over to her and kissing her cheek. “Thank you.” She turned her head and smiled at him. He took this the wrong way and leant in a bit further, kissing her on the lips. She pulled away gently and shook her head.

“Nathan, I know you’re a little drunk but that’s no excuse.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled embarrassedly before making a quick exit to the kitchen.

  49. Jay loses grip

“Noah, please behave,” Millie whined, struggling to get Noah to calm down. He was moaning and nearly screaming from having to sit on Millie’s lap while they waited for their plane. “Noah,” Millie groaned. Jay picked him up and placed him on the floor.

“I’ll take him for a bit of a walk about,” Jay suggested, taking Noah’s tiny hand in his hand. “We’ll be back in a bit.” Noah waved to Millie and the others before Jay walked him off to the other end of the terminal and back. Halfway up the terminal though, there were a few fans that recognised Jay and Noah. They ran over to the both of them and started screaming and one of them started crying. Jay didn’t even feel the tiny hand slip out of his as Jay was smiling for various pictures and talking to some of the fans. It was after a minute or so that he noticed when he raised both hands up that he didn’t feel a weight pulling his hand down. He looked around the ground urgently, his heart race quickening and panic taking over him. “Noah?” he called, pushing through the crowd of fans. “Noah?!” he called a little louder, trying to look up and down the area he was in. “Has anyone seen Noah, anywhere?” All the fans shook their heads, not noticing where the little lion had gone. “Shit.”

Jay ran as fast as his legs could take him all around the terminal, trying to catch a glimpse of the curly brown hair anywhere. He couldn’t see it and he knew he would have to get Millie and the boys to help look for him. He ran back to where he had left Millie and the boys, becoming out of breath and only just about getting the words “I lost Noah” out of his lungs. Nathan kept a hold of Kennedy, knowing he was no use if it came to having to run around the airport looking for Noah. Jay and Siva went off to look around the place where Jay had lost Noah whereas Millie, Tom and Max went off to find someone who could help.

Millie was surprised with how she kept it together. Jay on the other hand was on the verge of a breakdown. There would be only 4 words that would be able to stop it from happening; “Would Jay McGuiness please come to lost property. We’ve found your son.”

                                                                    50. Lost property

Both Millie and Jay abandoned their parties and ran as quickly as they could to the terminal lost property desk, both arriving at the same time and asking for Noah. “This is your son, isn’t it?” the poor guy the other side of the desk asked as he lifted Noah into his arms. Both Millie and Jay were nodding their heads and repeating “yes.” Noah’s face split into a smile as soon as he saw Millie and stretched his arms forward to reach for her. The guy handed Noah over to Millie, asking Jay to fill out all the necessary paperwork.

They had to rush back to the terminal but they got there just after their flight was called to board. Max took Noah out of Millie’s arms which let her turn around and hit Jay in the chest with the bottom of her fist. “You let go of his hand!?” Millie asked. “You. Let. Go. Of. His. Hand!”

“I’m sorry, okay,” Jay let out, only just about forming the words. “I’m really sorry, bear. I didn’t even feel his hand slip. There were a load of fans around and I just ... I just lost grip on him.”

“He’s your son, Jay, your son. Your first born. You usually keep the closest eye on them, don’t you?” Millie turned, handing hers, Noah’s and Kennedy’s passport over to the flight attendant and their boarding passes. Nathan handed his over next and followed Millie onto the plane, leaving Jay to try to collect himself together with Siva and Max before they got on the plane.

  51. I’m sorry Codie

Millie hadn’t spoken to Jay the whole plane journey, nor the journey back from the airport. Anything that required another set of hands for the twins, Nathan was on hand to help. Both of them slept throughout most of the journey, with Kennedy only waking up to be fed and falling back asleep almost immediately. Once they were all back in the house, Jay went off to see Tia while Nathan and Millie attended to the babies and the bags; Millie took the babies while Nathan took the bags.

“Should I get Mara round and we go for a talk?” Nathan asked, unpacking all of the babies stuff, putting the washing in the laundry bin and the unused nappies and other products under the changing table and on the shelves. Millie didn’t look over to Nathan but she nodded her head. Nathan stopped unpacking and pulled his phone out. “She’ll be round in a couple of minutes,” Nathan said after he’d received a reply. He went behind Millie and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “Don’t shut him out,” Nathan whispered. Millie squeezed Nathan tighter in her arms.

Mara came round and immediately started to make a fuss of the twins. Millie grabbed her jacket from the banister at the bottom of the stairs and her and Nathan made their way out. “What if we lost him, Nath?” Millie said, her voice sounding like she was going to break any second.

“We found him, Mil,” Nathan said, sliding his hand into hers as they walked along, away from the house. “Well, someone found him and took him to lost property and then you found him. But he’s here, he’s safe, just don’t go blaming Jay completely for it. Don’t shut him out.”

Millie stopped walking, pulling Nathan to a stop. “What’s to stop him doing it again?” she cried, letting a couple of tears roll down her cheeks.

“What’s to stop you from doing it?” Nathan asked, wiping the tears from her face with his free hand. Millie bit her lip, looking down and knowing that Nathan was right. What was to stop her from accidentally losing one of the twins? Would she expect Jay to react the same way she was if she had done the same? No, she’d want him to give her a cuddle and to say it was okay. She would hate to be shut out from his thoughts and to have no dealings with her children. The tears started to pour out of her eyes more than before. Nathan wrapped his arms around her again and let her cry in his arms.

Millie pulled away from Nathan’s body and wiped the tears from her face, sniffing one last time before she planned on heading back to the house. “Thank you,” she whispered, looking slightly up to Nathan. He smiled as he shook his head once, pulling her back and kissing her forehead.  Neither knew who made the next move but they found themselves sharing a kiss. Nathan’s arms moved lower and settled around her waist, using his hands to cover her back and pull her closer to him as their kiss deepened a little. Millie pulled away from Nathan slightly, ending their kiss, and then realised what she was doing. “Shit,” she breathed. “Shit, shit, shit, shit!”

Nathan’s eyes went wide, realising what had happened. “This didn’t happen.”

“Nope, definitely didn’t happen.” Nathan started to look around to see if anyone had caught them sharing that kiss and luckily, there was no one else on the street. Millie started to head back to the house, Nathan following quickly behind her.

  52. Moving out

Nathan came into the living room, looking a bit too proud of himself. He sat himself down next to Millie and Jay, placing Kennedy back in their care. “Kennedy’s been a big girl today,” Nathan said, tickling her lightly as she sat on Millie’s lap.

“What’s she done?” Millie asked, using the same tone and enthusiasm as Nathan had.

“She’s helped me pick out and settle on a house.” Nathan looked up to meet Millie and Jay’s eyes. Their mouth’s fell in shock.

Nathan was finally moving out.

“Where are you moving to?” Millie asked, placing Kennedy on Jay’s lap and leaning towards Nathan more.

“Not far, just down the road a bit,” Nathan shrugged.

“So that Mara doesn’t have to travel as far?” Jay asked, smirking slightly.

Nathan stood from the sofa, nodding slightly. “Hopefully everything goes alright and I can be moved out just after Tom and Kelsey’s wedding.” Millie and Jay could sense how excited he was about having his own privacy again, and they needed theirs too. However, they’d grown fond of having Nathan only down the bottom of the garden so he could look after the twins while Millie and Jay could be intimate with each other.

Millie stood from the sofa too and pulled Nathan in for a hug. He hugged her back too, lifting her off her toes a little. “At least you’ll have Max, Seev and Jay to help you move in,” Millie giggled as Nathan put her back on her feet.

  53. Getting ready

Millie and Tom switched places the night before the wedding. Millie took Kennedy over to Tom and Kelsey’s place whereas Jay kept Noah at theirs. The morning of the wedding was hectic; hair and makeup were in at 8am, Kelsey hadn’t slept much that night, Jade was making sure everything was running smoothly, Millie had to keep entertaining Kennedy as she tried to control the stress of Kelsey and Jade too. Britt was trying to help and so was Nicola but Kelsey kept turning into Bridezilla and screaming at anyone in her path.

In the McParker household, things were completely different. Tom had a full-rested night’s sleep, Jay, Siva, Nathan and Max were completely calm and collected. They all got ready quickly; as one got out of the shower, the next was getting in; as one finished in front of a mirror, the other was stepping into view of it. The boys arrived at the church about fifteen minutes later than they were supposed to and all of them turned on Nathan and blamed him for it, which was false as this time, it was actually Tom and Jay’s fault for their late arrival. They had forgotten about dressing Noah up in his suit and they only remembered last minute.

Tom was nervous as he greeted everyone who arrived, including his parents who were talking to Kelsey’s parents. Tom and Millie’s mum was already in tears and so was Kelsey’s mother. Tom’s jaw dropped when he noticed Millie coming down the aisle. She looked gorgeous in the Tiffany blue dress that was the main colour of the scheme Kelsey had chosen. “Millie,” Tom said as his eyes scanned over Millie’s dress. Tom had only seen pictures of the bridesmaids’ dresses and not any of the bridesmaids in them. “You look beautiful,” Tom smiled as he gave his little sister a hug.

“I know,” Millie giggled, pulling out of the hug. “I have been sent by Miss Hardwick to collect her father to escort her down the aisle.” Millie held her hand out to Mr Hardwick. “See you at the altar,” she grinned as she turned around and Mr Hardwick offered Millie his arm.

Tom became nervous again. He got so nervous that he took Noah out his own mother’s arms and took him over to the side of the church where he decided to have a chat with him. “No, my man, am I crazy for being so nervous?” he asked the one year old.

“No,” Noah shook his head, using his well-known catchphrase.

“You’re right, she’s beautiful and she’s crazy for being into me, let alone wanting to spend the rest of her life with me.”

“Tom-Tom and Kellie,” Noah grinned.

“That’s right, Tom-Tom and Kelsey are getting married,” Tom laughed. “Are you going to be the best boy here and hold the rings for me?” Noah nodded his head. “And are you going to behave for mummy and daddy and not cry?” Noah nodded again, knowing this was making Tom smile. “Good boy, No.” Tom gave Noah an extra big cuddle as he walked back over to his parents. He was soon told to get into his position and he handed the rings to Jay to have Noah hold and pass to Tom when the time was right. The music started and Tom’s heart raced, waiting for his beautiful bride and wife-to-be to come down the aisle, ready to start the ceremony to commit to each other for the rest of their lives.

  54. Princess cuddle

“Making their first entrance as Mr and Mrs Parker, I would like you to clap your hands for the newlyweds,” Mr Hardwick announced over the microphone. The doors to the reception opened and in stepped Tom and Kelsey as the newlyweds. Everybody clapped and Kennedy managed to get out of Millie’s grip, running over to Kelsey for a ‘princess cuddle’. Kelsey picked Kennedy up and took her back over to Millie and Jay.

“Congratulations,” Millie grinned. “You’re officially and legally my sister!” Tom groaned, knowing that this was the only bad thing about marrying Kelsey. Millie engulfed Kelsey in a hug before Kelsey and Tom made their way around the room and ending up at the table at the top of the reception room. All the boys and their girlfriends were on the table nearest to the end table, with Nicola, Mr and Mrs Hardwick, Kelsey, Tom, Mr and Mrs Parker and Millie all on the end table. The rest of the family and friends and others invited were dotted around on other tables, some knowing each other, others not knowing each other.

The boys all managed to keep an eye on the twins as they drank and ate. Jay was staying sober the whole time; designated driver did suck at times. Millie and Tom’s mum kept making her way over to the table to see Kennedy and Noah, mostly because she loved to make a fuss of them and partly because Millie kept asking her to. Millie did trust Jay with the twins, in fact, he’d taken them out by himself several times since the day he lost Noah at the airport. But with all the distractions around him, she felt like the twins weren’t having enough attention on them. Little did she know, Jay and Nathan couldn’t stop paying attention to them.

The speeches were made which resulted in both sets of parents ending up in tears. Millie tried to hold it all together, trying to look emotional but not too emotional; her real reason was because she didn’t want to fix her makeup. This didn’t work as after all the speeches were made, she walked over to the lads’ table, asked Nathan to watch the twins and dragged Jay out of the wedding reception where she sobbed in his arms.

  55. Time Traveller’s Wife, not Bride Wars

Once the buzz of the Tomsey wedding was over and Tom and Kelsey had come back from their honeymoon, Millie and Jay thought properly about starting their wedding plans. Jay wasn’t too bothered about the wedding plans; he just wanted Millie to get everything she wanted and if that meant that she chose everything she wanted, then he would be happy with whatever she picked.

Millie arranged for Kelsey and Jade to come round the morning the boys headed off on their album signing tour, promoting their album and meeting the fans that bought it. Jade arrived quite a while after Kelsey had. She came in and didn’t even apologise for her late arrival. Her face was pure shock and she wasn’t really with it.

“Jade?” Millie asked, trying to snap her out of her daze and she sort of floated through to the dining room. Mara had the twins in the play room upstairs. “Jade, why do you look so ... shocked?” That was when Jade lifted her left hand, revealing a gorgeous but old-style looking ring.

“Siva went all Time Traveller’s Wife on me,” she whispered. Millie and Kelsey jumped out of their chairs, nearly knocking Jade out of her seat as they hugged her.

Millie stood up properly from the hug and put her hand on her hip, confused at what she meant; Time Traveller’s Wife on her? “Erm, how did he propose?” Millie asked.

“I woke up this morning with him smiling at me from the side of the bed with the ring on my finger,” Jade explained. “He then explained that he was trying it on, making sure it did fit and that he actually wanted to propose last night before he went on tour. But he didn’t have the guts in case I said no. So, he finally managed it while I was sleeping, hoping I wouldn’t wake up before he left so he wouldn’t have to deal with me until I got back.”

“We planned for him to go all Bride Wars on you,” Kelsey giggled. “You know, when Anne Hathway and her boyfriend get Chinese – except he was going to cook your chicken – and then he was going to say about how he would love to do that every day for the rest of his life if it meant he could do them with you.”

“Aww,” Jade grinned. “I love him so much. But I didn’t get engagement sex and I’ve been horny all morning. It’s not fair!” Kelsey and Millie burst into giggles. “You don’t even wanna know how many times I had to sort myself out!”

“No, we don’t,” Kelsey giggled, crawling back to her seat the other side of the table. “Right,” Kelsey tried to calm herself down, but just resulting in silent laughing tears running down her cheeks constantly. “Colour scheme, Mils.”

“Purple and gold?” Millie suggested, testing her friend’s reactions and seeing if it was a good choice. “Mainly because I really want a deep purple colour and then the gold can be decoration and that.”

“You’ve already seen bridesmaids’ dresses haven’t you!?” Jade laughed. Millie nodded with a small smile appearing on her lips.

“They’re the most amazing dresses and you two would love them, and Eleanor would look amazing in it and you two would look amazing.”

“Okay, you need to show us,” Kelsey laughed, pulling Millie’s laptop towards them and loading the internet browser up.

  56. Moving day

Nathan was all packed up and ready to move down the road. His house was ready and it took a little longer than expected but he needed all the plumbing fixed and kitchen fitted before he moved in. All the lads helped him move his stuff out into the moving van, which contained all the furniture he had kept in storage from the flat he shared with Harri. Although Nathan was only moving down the road – on the next street actually – Millie was still going to miss seeing him every day and having him round. He was like a live-in babysitter and she liked that about him. A willing live-in babysitter.

Millie was in the living room with the twins in the play pen. She wanted Nathan to come in and say bye to them, just so Kennedy knew that he was going away and wasn’t going to be there all the time. Nathan came into the living room and climbed into the playpen, making it a bit cramped. “Hiya, Ken,” he chuckled as Kennedy stood and put herself in his arms. Noah crawled over to him and put himself in Nathan’s lap. “Hey, No, mate. I’m not going to be here as much anymore.” Kennedy had her hand on Nathan’s hair, playing with it as he hadn’t styled it, just left it natural and flat. “But you two are allowed round anytime mummy and daddy need you round mine.” He looked over to Millie. “Anytime you need someone to look after them, I’ll be available.” Millie mouthed ‘thank you’ to him before leaning against him for a hug.

Nathan’s POV

A thought flashed through my mind. A thought I should never have. I knew Jay could walk in at any given moment but I loved her. I turned my head slightly towards her and nudged her temple with my nose. She looked up to me, her eyes showing fear and happiness. “I love you,” I whispered.

Jay’s POV

I stood in the doorway to the living room only to see Nathan and Millie sitting in the playpen, sharing what can only be described as an intimate moment. “I love you,” Nathan whispered to Millie. My heart sank; she didn’t look like she was going to pull away. She loved him too, I knew it. I couldn’t even bring myself to make a noise and stop what was happening. I watched as Nathan moved his head closer to her and she neither moved away nor moved forwards. The gap between them was closing and it felt like I was watching it in slow motion. I knew he loved her, but I never thought he’d make a move on her, especially if she was still with me or even in front of our children. As he moved even closer, she started to move away and he took the hint.

Jay quietly tiptoed back out to the front door. He then walked in loudly, calling Nathan’s name and telling him that they were all ready for him. Nathan quickly kissed Kennedy and Noah on the forehead, saying goodbye to them even though he was going to see them the next day. Millie stood up as Nathan stood up and they both climbed out of the playpen. Millie hugged Nathan and he placed a kiss on her cheek before Nathan followed Jay out.

  57. Three years ago today

Millie lay in bed still on her birthday. She didn’t want to move because of how comfy it was. It was when Kennedy and Noah started repeating “mumm, up!” that she felt like she needed to move. So, she did; she rolled over onto her front and covered her face with her arm to block the summer light from the window. Jay lay down beside Millie and nestled his face into her neck. “Come on, bear,” he whispered. “It’s nearly midday.”

“Leave me until midday then,” she huffed.

“No can do, missy,” he laughed, throwing the sheet off of Millie. “Come on, up.”

“Up, up, up,” Kennedy and Noah started repeating. Millie groaned, curling up in a ball and covering her ears. Jay put Kennedy and Noah on the bed and they crawled over to Millie, poking her to wake her up. Millie started to giggle as they poked her.

“Okay, okay, I’m up, I’m up,” she giggled, turning over and sitting up. She grabbed both Kennedy and Noah and sat them on her lap. “How are my favourite babies?” she squealed, cuddling them both tightly.

“Mumumumum,” Noah giggled, throwing his head back and wriggling. Kennedy giggled and rested her head on Millie’s chest. Kennedy put her index and middle fingers in her mouth and began to suck on them. She’d only developed the habit since she turned one, but it was cute and Millie didn’t want the two of them on dummies. She pulled them into a tighter hug, Jay sitting next to her and putting his arm around her.

“Three years ago today,” he whispered in her ear. Millie turned her head and kissed him. “I love you.”

*~*

The morning of the 25th broke and Tom was waking her up in the typical style he usually did. “Mils, get up!” he practically yelled as he jumped on her bed. “Come on! It’s your twenty-” Millie had taken a guess where he was and kicked her legs out; one hitting him in the thigh, the other hitting him in the balls and silencing him.

“Fuck off,” she groaned, “I’m sleeping.” She heard Jay laughing from the door.

“Told you, you should have left her!” Jay continued to laugh.

“You too, Bird!” Millie growled. Jay quietly entered the room to drag Tom out before retreating back downstairs. Millie turned over and tried to get back to sleep. After half an hour, Jay came into Millie’s room and snuggled up to her in bed. “I can’t get back to sleep,” she mumbled from under the covers. Jay pulled the covers over his head and rubbed his nose against her cheek. She giggled. “Your nose is chilly.”

“And your cheek is snugly,” Jay chuckled. He buried his face in her neck which caused her to squeal because his face was colder than her neck.

“Jay,” she giggled.

Jay took his face away from her neck and slowly kissed her. She giggled slightly before letting out a longing moan as Jay continued to kiss her. He pulled away slightly only to whisper, “happy birthday, teddy bear.” Millie let the biggest smile take over her face before he started to kiss her again.

*~*

“I love you more,” Millie whispered and she rubbed her nose around his.

  58. Suggestion for another

Jay watched Millie as she slept on the morning of Christmas. Her face was twitching slightly as if she was talking and pulling facial expressions and these twitches were just micro movements of what she was doing as she dreamt. “You’re so cute when you dream,” Jay chuckled. Millie smiled; these were the first words she was waking up to and she loved it when Jay went all cute on her. She fluttered her eyes open to see Jay’s bright blue ones looking into hers. “Merry Christmas,” he grinned.

“You too,” she mumbled before moving over to cuddle him. “When do you think they’ll wake up?” she asked as her hand trailed lower down Jay’s abs.

“Not for a while.” Jay kissed the top of her head as her hand pulled down his boxers, freeing him from the material. She took him in her hand and kissed his chest, tasting a slight hint of salt from his skin. His hand rubbed down her back and he started to pull her pyjamas down. He pulled her hand away from him, resisting the temptation to let her finish as he could feel how good it was, but he knew something else that would feel better. Millie took the hint and stood from the bed, removing her pyjama bottoms as he removed his boxers. She straddled his lap and he positioned himself at her entrance.

“Oh, no wait,” she rushed, bending over to her side of the bed and opening the drawer to her bedside table. She popped the pill for today out of its pocket and popped it in her mouth, making extra saliva so that it could be easily swallowed. “All good,” she grinned at Jay, leaning down and kissing him. Jay repositioned himself, sitting up slightly to be closer to Millie, more intimate. He guided her down on to him, watching and hearing her gasp as he slowly filled her. She raised her hips and let herself be filled more and more every time she lowered them.

“Why don’t you finish that pack and then stop taking it?” Jay moaned, placing his hands back on her hips to keep them moving. He knew that saying something like this could cause her to stop what she was doing.

“Try for another one of them?” Millie asked, slowing her hips. Jay tried to keep them moving but she was resisting more.

“Yeah, why not?” Jay tried to keep her moving on top of him. Luckily, she was letting him guide her hips back into the familiar rhythm.

“Let’s talk about this later,” Millie moaned as he was guiding her faster. Their moans filled the room as Jay became closer to his orgasm. He gave away the usual signs that he was close, extremely close, as he dug his nails into her hips and pulled her down so that their foreheads were pressed together. He pushed his hips up to meet hers a few times, bringing him closer to his orgasm as hers was just a comfortable, satisfying burn in the pit of her stomach. With a couple more thrusts, she tightened around him to encourage him to cum. Feeling her tighten and pulse around him was enough to bring him to orgasm. He dug his nails into her back and grunted as he came. He rested back against the headboard with his eyes closed and she smiled as she leant in to kiss him, sweetly on the lips. “Okay, once we get married, we’ll start trying.”

Jay couldn’t help but smile. “Why after the wedding though?” he asked, the grin not sliding from his face.

Millie laughed to herself, thinking over what Kelsey said about not wanting to be fat and sober on her wedding day. “I don’t wanna be fat and sober on my wedding day,” she giggled. Jay mimicked her giggling and ran his hands up her side.

  59. Loudly protesting

Millie was up and dressed long before Jay was. She was first to attend to the twins who were nearly two year olds. They were still in their cots but were trying to get out in the mornings. Millie wanted to go out and get them proper beds but Jay was always busy, especially as of late. They were touring a lot and he hadn’t had the time to go with her. Kelsey had offered to go with her but to find a time when she wasn’t busy was a bit hard at times. Millie lifted both of the twins out of their cots and placed them on the floor. “Mummy, potty,” Kennedy whispered. Millie took both Kennedy and Noah’s hand and led them to the bathroom. Kennedy rushed over to the potty and pulled her night nappy down. Millie saw that it was wet, but they were only just starting to potty train them both. Millie was helping Kennedy when she noticed Noah squat down in the corner and his face go red. She knew exactly what was happening but she couldn’t get over to him to stop him. As soon as she finished wiping Kennedy’s bottom, she knew it was too late and Noah had soiled himself.

“Jay,” Millie called, hoping Jay was out of the shower by now. Jay popped his head around the bathroom door. “Noah needs changing.”

“We need to get two potties,” Jay chuckled, picking Noah up and taking him back to their room.

Millie started to run the bath with warm water as Kennedy picked her bath toys she wanted. The bath was finished and Millie stripped Kennedy of her bedclothes as Jay danced into the bathroom with Noah in his arms. He stripped Noah down and lifted him into the bath. Jay and Millie both sat on their knees, washing each of the twins down. Kennedy insisted that Millie and Jay both wear bubble beards, to which Millie objected but Jay happily obliged, but he wasn’t dressed yet.

It wasn’t even 8am yet, and everyone was dressed and having breakfast, ready to open presents from Father Christmas. Jay had cooked them all breakfast; even if it only consisted on shoving croissants in the oven. Kennedy picked her croissants to bits and dipped them in the jam whereas Noah insisted on leaving it whole and putting as much in his mouth as he could. As soon as their plates were clear, both of the twins wanted to get down and they loudly protested until they got their way. Once all the plates had been put in the dishwasher, Millie and Jay lifted the twins out of their chairs and they headed straight to the living room where the tree was set up.

  60. Paper ripping

Millie set out each of the twins their piles of presents. Noah sat on the sofa, waiting patiently, while Kennedy was under Millie’s feet as she moved the presents. That was until Jay came into the room and swooped Kennedy up in a fit of giggles and carried her over to the sofa where Noah was. Millie sat between the piles on the floor, laughing as she saw Kennedy desperately try to get out of Jay’s arms. “Jay, let her go,” Millie giggled and Jay released Kennedy from her confinement. Kennedy ran over to Millie and fell over onto Millie’s lap. She burst into tears, clearly not hurt but wanting the right attention. Millie gave her a tight cuddle and kissed her hands which is what she landed on. Millie directed her to the presents on Millie’s right and Ken started to rip the wrapping paper off of the smaller presents, leaving the big present until last. Noah realised what Kennedy was allowed to do and climbed down from the sofa and rushed to the same presents.

“Nope, little lion,” Jay laughed as he came over, lifting Noah up and placing him in front of the other pile. “These are yours.” Noah started to rip the paper off of his biggest present.

Jay and Millie had decided to transform Tia’s room into the toy room. Now that they had the guest house free, they could move Tia up into one of the two spare bedrooms. So, for Christmas, Jay and Millie bought Kennedy a toy kitchen and Noah a toy workshop. These would probably be played with for the rest of the morning before they both got bored of it. Once both of the twins had ripped all of the wrapping paper off of their presents, Millie had the job of cleaning it all up and taking the toys through to the toy room before Millie’s parents, Tom, Kelsey, Jay’s parents, Sean and Eleanor all came round for Christmas dinner.

  61. Christmas McGuiness

Thankfully, Jay’s mum, dad, Sean and Eleanor were round by 10am so Jay’s mum and Millie were in the kitchen, basting and stuffing the turkey. Jay helped his dad take his mum and dad’s stuff to the guesthouse while Eleanor took her stuff up to the spare bedroom. Millie and Jay were quite thankful that Tom and Kelsey had agreed to take Tom and Millie’s parents for the night. Luke and Tom (McGuiness) were both at their other halves’ parents for Christmas and so weren’t joining the McParker clan. Sean stayed in the toy room with Kennedy and Noah, playing with the toys they got for Christmas. Noah was playing with his toy drill and made it his mission to drill everybody in the house. This included attacking Sean’s ear with it. Sean couldn’t react to it as he wanted as he had Kennedy in his lap. Sean still fell backwards and clutched his ear with one hand and held Kennedy with the other hand so she didn’t fall and smack her head. Noah giggled before running off to the kitchen to attack Millie and Maureen. Kennedy went through the rest of her toys, talking nonsense about each of them.

Jay came in from the back garden, seeing Sean trapped with Kennedy and sniggering to himself. Jay quickly walked through, joining Noah, Millie and his mum in the kitchen. “Mum, did you remember to bring something for me?” he asked as he wrapped his arms around Millie’s waist and kissed her cheek. Jay’s mum stopped what she was doing and quietly cursed to herself. “You forgot, didn’t you?” Jay laughed.

“I’m sorry, dear,” she apologised. “But you were the only vegetarian and now that you don’t come up to the house as often, I just forget that you don’t eat meat.”

“What’s all the fuss?” Sean asked as he walked in with Kennedy upside down in his arms.

“Careful she’s not sick,” Millie warned, returning back to the turkey.

Kennedy was giggling in Sean’s arm as he had it wrapped around her and tickling her with his free hand. Maureen turned around and placed her hands on her hips, announcing, “If your name isn’t Millicent, then I would appreciate you removing yourself from the kitchen.” Jay quickly made his way over to the fridge, pulled a few beers out and picked Noah up from the floor, taking himself out of the kitchen. Sean grabbed the bottle opener from the side and rushed after his older brother. Jay’s father was now in the living room so Jay handed him a beer, taking the bottle opener from Sean and handing it to their father.

“Do I get a cuddle from my favourite grandchildren then?” Jay’s father asked, taking a sip of his beer before placing it on the coaster. He held his arms out for both of them to climb onto the armchair he was in and give him a hug. Jay put Noah on the floor and he happily ran over to his grandfather. Jay’s father laughed as Noah jumped onto the armchair whereas Kennedy was still giggling in Sean’s arms.

“Sean, have you been smoking near Ken?” Jay asked, releasing Ken from Sean’s arms.

“Nope,” he said, popping the ‘p’. “I haven’t smoked any weed for a couple of days.” Sean stuck his tongue out at his older brother as he reached over to grab the bottle opener out of Jay’s hands. “Ken’s always giggly when I have her. She likes me.” Sean grinned smugly at Jay.

“Shut it, you,” Jay laughed, not being able to come up with a better insult. Sean slumped down onto the sofa, flipping the beer top onto the coffee table. Jay groaned, picking up the lid and taking his and his father’s into the kitchen to put in the bin. Jay took one step into the kitchen and his mother came down on him like a hawk attacking its prey. He held his hand out to show that he had something to put in the bin, and his mother let him into the kitchen. He saw that Eleanor was sitting at the breakfast table, sipping on a glass of wine. “Why is she allowed to be in here?” Jay asked, pointing at Eleanor.

“She’s a girl and so can join the rest of us girls,” Millie giggled, finishing up with the turkey. She washed her hands and started to dry them when Jay came up and hugged her. “Whereas you’re a boy, and you smell.” Millie pulled a disgusted face. Jay stuck his face in the crook of her neck and started to lightly bite her neck. She squealed and tried to push him off of her but it didn’t work.

“Ew, James, take it out of the kitchen,” Eleanor gagged.

“If I take her out of the kitchen, we won’t be back down for a while,” Jay laughed, forgetting his mother was in the room.

“James,” Maureen warned. He looked down to Millie and his eyes went wide, causing Millie to giggle. Jay lifted Millie up and took her into the hallway, pushing her against the wall.

“I need you, now,” Jay whispered, his voice husky.

“Your family are all down here and mine are expected any –” Jay cut Millie off with a kiss, moving his hands slowly down her waist and hips. Millie pushed Jay off of her with a smirk and popped her head around the kitchen door. “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” she smiled sweetly to Maureen, adding a wink to Eleanor who could’ve thrown the wine back up.

  62. Christmas brings out the mistleHOE in Millie

Jay carried Millie up the stairs, not kissing her until he was clear of the stairs. He took her into the bedroom and placed her on her feet once the door was shut. They both worked quickly on getting their clothes off as they slowly walked to the bed. Millie’s legs came into contact with the mattress and she fell backwards. The only item of clothing she had left on was her bra and neither of them could be bothered to remove it so it stayed on. Romantic, right? Not as romantic as Jay leaving his socks on.

Jay pulled Millie’s legs up to his waist, sliding himself into her. He pushed himself deep into her, causing her to gasp and moan. Jay pulled Millie up from the bed, still with half of himself inside her, and carried her over to the wall near the en-suite. He pushed one of her legs up against her, thrusting deeper and faster into her when their bedroom door banged open. “Sean, get the fuck out!” Millie screamed. Jay turned his head to see his 21 year old brother with his phone and grinning at Jay.

“Sean, close the door and go back downstairs,” Jay yelled as he put Millie back on her feet, grabbed a pillow to cover his crotch, and walked over to the door.

“Can I have a go afterwards?” Sean asked. He stopped taking pictures and protested before Jay shut the door in his face and shoved the door wedge underneath it.

Jay turned back to Millie, anger burning in his stomach as he pushed Millie back into the wall. He lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his waist again. He wasn’t gentle this time. His little brother had pissed him off and he was relieving that anger out on Millie. Millie closed her eyes, letting the image of Sean take over her mind. It was a bad thought as it wasn’t Jay but sometimes, you need to let fantasies take over your mind; bring a little more spice into your sex life. And as Jay pounded into her repeatedly, she could only imagine it as Sean. They looked so alike that when she opened her eyes briefly, she swore she thought it was Sean doing this to her. She could feel her orgasm coming and she had to keep telling herself that if she was going to say a name, it had to be Jay. “Oh, God ... fuck.” She was lucky. No name escaped her lips; no name slipped off the end of her tongue. “I love it when you get pissed off,” Millie whispered, kissing Jay as he slid out of her.

“He was taking pictures or a video,” Jay growled, slamming his fist against the wall. Millie found it weird that he was this pissed off still.

“Bird, just ask him to delete it,” Millie suggested. Jay placed her back on her feet and went over to the bed, pulling his clothes back on. Millie headed off into the bathroom, grabbing her clothes from the floor before she went. She went to the loo before getting redressed, fixing her hair to make it look less like sex hair. She stepped out of the en-suite. Jay was still sitting on the bed, his face in his hands. “Bird,” Millie sighed, sitting down next to him.

“If that gets out,” Jay said, looking up from his hands.

“James,” Millie said, a bit more forceful. She grabbed his chin and made him look at her. “One, he’s your brother; he wouldn’t let it go off his phone. Two, I’m going to have words with him so he’ll delete it. Three, if the picture or video gets out, what’s the worst that could happen? Who hasn’t got a sex tape or naked photos out there?” A smile appeared on Jay’s lips. “I love you, and that’s all that matters.” Jay sighed, rubbing his face. He stood up and offered his hand to Millie.

  63. Tugging one out

Millie looked all over the house for Sean. Turns out, he was in the bathroom, tugging one out over the thought of screwing Millie against the bedroom wall. Millie listened the other side of the bathroom door, hearing his panting. So, as revenge, she took her phone out of her pocket, loaded the camera up and unlocked the bathroom door, swinging it open to see him sitting on the edge of the bath, cock in hand. She took a couple of pictures before laughing and running off downstairs. It took Sean a couple of minutes to recover and clean up his mess, but as soon as he was ready, he ran down the stairs and started his attack on Millie. He’d squirted some of the baby lotion he’d found in the bathroom into his hand and chased her around the living room and dining room, trying to wipe it on Millie’s face as she thought it was his cum; she hadn’t noticed the colour of it. “It was payback,” Millie squealed as she made for the dining room door into the hallway. She ran up the stairs and went to take refuge in the twins’ bedroom. She crouched behind one of their cots, trying to quieten her breathing. Sean knew she’d gone into that bedroom and silently crept in, spotting her cardigan poking out from behind the cot. He crept behind and jumped on her, wiping the lotion on her face and making her squeal. “Sean, get off me,” she laughed as she tried to grab his wrists.

“The amount of times I’ve imagined you with my cum on your face,” Sean grinned. He took his hands away from her face and stood up. “Delete your pictures and I’ll delete mine.”

“Why would I delete mine?” Millie smirked, teasing the poor boy. “I could get myself off to you getting yourself off.” She winked, harmlessly flirting but it was killing Sean. He could look, he could imagine, but he couldn’t touch.

“Ugh, as if you’re becoming my sister-in-law soon.” Sean looked Millie up and down. “Do you think Jay would let me bone you before you two ... y’know ... tied the knot?”

“Ha-ha, definitely not,” Millie laughed, taking Sean’s phone off of him and deleting the pictures. Sean took Millie’s phone and deleted the pictures of him. They handed the other’s phone back to them.

“Doesn’t he like to share?” Sean asked, his voice turning husky just like Jay’s. Now Sean was becoming the tease and Millie developed a hot flush as Sean teased her. Millie shook her head and left the room, rejoining Maureen and Eleanor in the kitchen.

  64. Millie will be mine

“Bird, go get us a taxi,” Max called as they all stumbled out of a pub. Jay nodded, stumbling off to the street to find an available taxi. There were none around so he started to head back to the pub, forgetting where he was due to the alcohol in his blood. He stumbled down a side alley and came across someone who didn’t look too happy he was in their side alley.

“Sorry, mate, need to get back to the Fox’s Tail,” Jay apologised, slurring his words. “You know where it is?”

The guy who he’d bumped into growled and lunged forward at Jay. Jay felt a blinding pain in his lower left abdomen. The guy had stabbed him. He didn’t just stab him, the guy then twisted the knife to open the wound more. Jay was heavily bleeding as the guy ripped off the beanie and pushed his hair back, revealing that it was Taylor. “Millie will be mine,” he growled before running off as he heard someone calling out Jay’s name.

Jay tried to stay calm but he could feel himself blacking out. “Jay!” Nathan called from the end of the alley. “Jay?” he asked, seeing Jay lying on the ground. “Shit! Boys! Jay’s on the floor.” Nathan ran up to Jay and then saw all the blood. “Shit, call an ambulance!” he called to Max, Siva and Tom who were now running towards them. Siva pulled his phone out and dialled for an ambulance, spending a couple of minutes on the phone with them. Nathan straddled Jay’s thighs as he put pressure on the wound, trying to stop the bleeding with his jacket. “Jay, mate, stay with us. Don’t you fucking dare go to sleep.”

Jay’s blood was thinner due to the alcohol and he could feel himself bleeding out. He fought to keep his eyes open and the last image he saw was the flashing of blue lights. He didn’t have any idea where they were coming from and he wasn’t too sure what was happening. But blue lights meant that the ambulance was there. “Nath,” Jay choked. “Nath.” Nathan leant in and said he was there. “Look after Millie and the twins.”

“You’re not dying, Jay,” Nathan growled. “You’re fighting through this.”

  65. Stage 3 Hypovolemia

Millie was woken just after midnight by a hysterical Max. She couldn’t understand a word he was saying between the slurring of his words and the sobs coming from him. All she could grasp from him was ‘Jay’, ‘hospital’ and ‘bleeding’. Millie threw the duvet off of her and started to get dressed. “Max, which hospital?” she asked as she had the house phone wedged between her shoulder and her cheek. Max gave her the name of the hospital and told her that Nathan went with Jay in the ambulance. Millie said her thanks before hanging up and calling Mara. Mara rushed round and insisted she drove Millie to the hospital. Mara put Kennedy and Noah in their car seats and into her car. She drove Millie to the hospital where Max and Siva met her outside. Millie didn’t even say goodbye to Ken and Noah, she just walked into Max’s arms. Mara drove back to Millie and Jay’s house, putting the twins straight back to bed.

Max and Siva escorted Millie to the waiting area that Nathan and Tom were in. Tom took Millie into his arms as soon as he saw her. She didn’t cry, she couldn’t feel anything; she was completely numb all over. That was until she had Nathan’s arms around her. She completely fell apart and Nathan had to try and hold her together. He slowly lowered himself onto a chair and had Millie folded up on his lap. She didn’t move from the spot, even when a doctor came into the room to give them an update on Jay.

Jay was doing ... fine. He’d lost a lot of blood and they couldn’t do anything until all the alcohol was out of his system. His blood needed to thicken back to its normal viscosity before they measure how much he’d actually lost. He had a large, open wound in his lower left abdomen. He’d had it stitched up and after a few hours; they had him stable and were arranging for a couple of units of blood to be transferred into his body. He had suffered from Stage 3 hypovolemia. His breathing was still rapid and they needed the blood quickly. Luckily, Jay was A+ and that was the blood type they had most of. Millie wanted to see Jay but the doctors wouldn’t let anyone see him. As soon as Millie heard this, she rested back into Nathan.

Everybody in the room could see that Millie was attaching herself to Nathan because he was like a best friend and subconsciously, she knew if Jay died, Nathan would be the one to help her through it all and take care of the twins. They knew Nathan would do anything to make Millie happy and if for the moment it meant that he had to comfort her while they waited for Jay to get better, he was going to be there the whole time. Everybody in the room could also see how much Nathan loved her. Even though Nathan had been with Mara for the past year, he didn’t feel for Mara like he felt for Millie. Nathan loved Mara and he cared for her but on no level near the care and love he had for Millie.

  66. Nathan knows when he’s interrupting

Millie checked in with Mara several times throughout the day. As soon as Kelsey was able to get out of work, she rushed to the hospital, replacing Nathan’s job with Millie. Kelsey cradled her until the doctors came in and informed the group that they could go and see him. Jay’s parents travelled down from Nottingham when Siva had called them up to tell them the news. The doctor took Millie and Jay’s parents along to his room where they were allowed to stay until visiting hours were over. Jay was unconscious, heavily sedated to ease the pain. Millie stayed at the back of the room as she let Jay’s mum and dad see to him. Nathan slipped into the room and put his arm around Millie’s back. He kissed her temple, trying to comfort her as she looked at Jay lying in bed. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

*~*

“We’ve been in this hospital too many times,” Nathan chuckled as he and Millie sat outside Jay’s room.

“Usually because of me,” Millie said. She was worried about Jay. Every time she heard a door open and close, she looked at Jay’s door. The blinds were shut and every now and then she’d hear Jay groan loudly in pain.

“Millie,” Nathan said in a soothing voice. He took her chin between his index finger and thumb and turned her head to face him. “He’s going to be alright. He fell and probably fractured a rib or two. He’ll be able to recover quickly and easily.”

“I know,” Millie sighed. “And this must be painful for you.”

“Yeah, that’s right.” Nathan rested his head on the wall behind him. “Just something I’m going to have to suck up and deal with.”

“Come here,” Millie said and leant towards Nathan. “Last one.” She met his eyes and kissed him gently on the lips. He ran his hands through her hair.

“Love you forever,” Nathan whispered when Millie had pulled away.

“Find another girl to say that to,” Millie whispered back and returned to her original seating position. Half an hour later and Millie and Nathan were allowed to go into Jay’s room. He was bandaged up around his chest. Millie rushed over to him and held his hand. “I’m sorry,” she apologised. “It was all my fault.”

“It wasn’t,” Jay chuckled and then winced. “I shouldn’t have tried to walk. I should’ve just stayed still.”

“I shouldn’t’ve jumped on you.” Millie slid her fingers into the gaps between Jay’s fingers.

“I’m going to go and call Tom and that,” Nathan said. “I know when I’m interrupting.”

“Thanks, Nath,” Millie whispered to him as he kissed her forehead. Nathan left the room and Millie and Jay were alone.

*~*

“I hate hospitals,” Millie muttered under her breath. Jay’s parents left after an hour. They went to book themselves into a hotel even after Millie insisted that they stay with her. Visiting hours were over at eight so they said they’d come to see him first thing in the morning. Millie hugged them both and said she’d see them then too. Nathan also left Millie alone in the room, knowing that he was interrupting. Millie stood next to Jay’s bed, sliding her hand into his and feeling empty when he didn’t squeeze her hand back. “Don’t you dare die on me,” she whispered. She folded the sheet and blanket down from Jay and climbed in next to him, avoiding all the wires and tubes coming from him. She wrapped his arm around her body and held it tight, only wanting Jay to wake up and hold her.

  67. Doing something stupid

“Excuse me, miss,” the nurse said as she gently woke Millie. “I’m sorry but visiting hours are over.” Millie rubbed her eyes and blinked as she tried to focus on who had woken her. When she heard the nurse ask her to leave, she nodded and climbed out of the bed.

“Is there anywhere I can stay for the night?” Millie asked, picking her bag up and putting it on her shoulder.

“There’s a hotel about five minutes down the road,” the nurse answered, injecting something into the IV tube.

“I meant in the hospital.”

“There’s a waiting room downstairs but it’s not comfortable in the slightest.” Millie nodded and went back over to Jay’s bed. “I’ll be here on this ward all night and checking up on him every half hour. Would you like me to call you when he starts waking up?” the nurse offered.

“Please,” Millie whispered. She brushed Jay’s hair away from his forehead. Millie kissed his forehead and whispered an ‘I love you’ before turning to the nurse and writing her number down. Nathan was still waiting outside for Millie. He stood up from the floor of the corridor and put his arm around Millie. “What are you still doing here?” she tried to ask nicely but it came across a little bitchy.

“Someone’s got to drive you home,” Nathan said in her ear. “Jay’s parents not staying with you then?” Millie shook her head. “Do you want me or Tom or someone to stay the night?” Millie nodded her head, putting her arm around Nathan’s waist as they walked.

“I’ll ask Kelsey,” Millie said. She knew that if Nathan spent the night, she’d end up doing stupid. All she wanted was comfort and she knew she’d seek comfort from Nathan and then one thing would lead to another. Nathan nodded, feeling a little gutted that Millie didn’t want him to stay the night.

  68. Panic

Millie drove herself into the hospital the next morning. The nurse hadn’t called up to say he was waking so she assumed he was still asleep. When she got to his room, Jay’s parents were already there. Jay’s mum was fussing with anything she could get her hands on while Jay’s dad was concentrating on the TV screen in the room. Millie hugged Maureen and asked if the doctor had said anything to them. The doctor was in there doing some checks when they had first arrived. They were lowering the dose on the sedative so that he would start waking up within the next few minutes. It was another 45 minutes before he started to stir. Millie pulled a chair up to his bed and took his hand in hers. He started to mumble and no one could make out what he was saying. It was a few more minutes before the mumbling became clearer. “Millie, Taylor,” he was repeating. Millie thought she was hearing things until both of his parents confirmed it. She became terrified; walking out of the room and pulling her phone out.

“Kelsey,” she said, fear evident in her tone. “Kels, lock the door and don’t let anybody into the house. Only if it’s one of the boys or girls, okay?”

“Sure,” Kelsey said, not understanding why.

“Jay’s mumbling about Taylor,” Millie whispered.

“You haven’t seen him for months though.”

“I know, and I’m worried. I mean, do you think ...?”

“That Taylor did this to Jay? No. Well, I don’t know. When he’s lucid enough, ask him.”

Kelsey tried to convince Millie to go back in to Jay. It didn’t take much convincing but Millie was scared of what Jay was going to say. If Taylor was capable of doing that to Jay, who knows what else he’s capable of doing. Jay was more lucid now that Millie had been on the phone with Kelsey for a few minutes. His face went relaxed when he saw Millie enter the room. She rushed over and gave him the biggest cuddle she could.

“You panicked me,” he mumbled, kissing the top of her head.

“Me panic you?” Millie asked with a hint of laughter. “You panicked me.” She accidentally let a couple of tears out. “I get a call from Max – who was crying his heart out – saying that you’d been stabbed and there was loads of blood.”

“I’m fine now,” he chuckled. Jay’s parents excused themselves from the room.

“You were mumbling as you woke up.” Millie snuggled up to Jay more.

“About what?” Jay lowered his voice to match Millie’s.

“Taylor,” Millie said as she looked up to Jay. Jay knew what the mention of Taylor meant for Millie and he wished he hadn’t let it slip.

“Bear, don’t worry.” The last thing Jay wanted was for Millie to go back to being scared and not leaving the twins.

  69. Second birthday

The twins knew that if there were presents wrapped downstairs, they were getting something good. Millie and Jay had bought Kennedy a dressing up trunk with lots of different outfits in it. Millie had no clue what to get Noah so Jay asked if he could be in charge. Noah’s present was a surprise to everyone but Jay. Noah ripped the wrapping paper off and there was a very basic, mini drum kit in the box. Millie sighed and shook her head as a smile crept across her face. Kennedy climbed up onto the sofa and jumped on top of Jay. “Ken, no jumping on daddy,” Millie said as Jay winced from the pain in his abdomen.

“Why?” Kennedy asked. This had developed into her favourite saying and it drove Jay and Millie mad.

“Because, remember, daddy got hurt by a bad man.” Kennedy looked Jay up and down, trying to see where he was hurt. Jay lifted his top up and showed the stitches he had in the place that Taylor had stabbed him.

Millie started to unbox Noah’s drum kit and set it up for him to have a play on. Kennedy sat on the sofa with Jay still, gently stroking the wound where the knife went in. Kennedy understood to be gentle. She didn’t know why, she just knew she had to. As Ken stroked Jay’s belly, Jay stroked the top of Ken’s head and down the back of it. She had a full head of light hair now and the curls were starting to loosen. Her hair was becoming similar to Jay’s hair when it was wavy. Noah had Millie’s hair colour though but it wasn’t the same style; he had the Jay curly curls.

Millie finished putting Noah’s drum kit together and he instantly started to bang the little plastic drum sticks against the drum kit. After a while of hitting the drum kit, he found out he could hit other things too, like the coffee table and the Xbox. Then he found he could get more a reaction from hitting Millie and Kennedy. It was when Noah hit Ken that Millie took the drum sticks off of Noah and took him to sit on the naughty seat in the kitchen. Watching hours of Nanny 911 and Supernanny really paid off. Millie had parenting down. Jay just played about with the twins and was the laidback parent. Millie wanted to be that parent too but she was the one who had to enforce the rules and punishment on the twins. Don’t get me wrong, Jay did some but not his fair share. Millie was definitely bad cop. And both the twins knew that.

  70. Stupid, pointless

Nathan’s POV

This was stupid. Absolutely stupid. And all behind Millie’s back. He wouldn’t ever need to show her this so why film it. Sorry, he wouldn’t be the one showing this, I most likely will be. I would most likely be the one getting all the shit from her about keeping it a secret. I never want to see that side of Millie. Fuck, I never want to see that side of Jay.

Millie is up in Bolton with Tom and Kelsey, visiting with the devil toddlers. No, I’m kidding; they’re not devils. They’re the cutest, nicest two year olds I have met. Millie and Jay did a good job of bringing them up so far. And they will bring them up for the rest of their under 18 lives at least. That little Kennedy has every single guy wrapped around her finger. She has Jay’s hair, but the curls are a lot looser, whereas Noah has the Parker colour but exactly the same style as Jay – the curls that bounce around when he laughs. They’re both starting to form slightly audible sentences.

We’ve become even closer since the babies were born. I somehow have a natural hand at all the baby stuff and Millie is grateful for that. Jay’s a bit useless in that respect but he does anything for them. They don’t come on tour with us but if we’re heading over to New York or LA for a week or two, Millie, Kennedy and Noah all join us in the house or the apartment we’ve now bought for us all. And it’s a lot cheaper than having the same size place in London or living out of a hotel.

“What has made you think of this? What could you have possibly thought or seen or even heard to put you in this mindset?” I asked, not sure why anyone would think of this.

“Because the only people I want happy in this world if I can’t make them happy is you, Millie, Kennedy and Noah.” Jay calmly explained. Why he was so calmed, I don’t know. I wanted to hit him. I wanted to do something but I was so frustrated by him that all I could do was keep it inside myself. “Look, Nath,” Jay said, coming up to me and putting his hands on my shoulders, “either do this with me or leave and find out when the time comes.”

“The time will never come,” I sighed, shaking my head. I didn’t want to be here for this. “I’ll leave. If I never need to see it, I don’t need to see it being made. And if I am going to see it, I only want to see it once, okay?” Jay looked down, avoiding eye contact and nodded his head. As we were clear, I gave him a hug, a massive bear hug that he always has me in, before turning around and leaving his house.

  71. Morning tease

The day had finally come. Jay and Millie were going to be married by this evening. Kennedy was really excited about the day, whereas Noah didn’t want to be dressed up. He wanted to be in his pyjamas, in comfy clothes, and let’s be honest; we all prefer to be in comfy clothes. Kennedy loved getting dressed up and a wedding is the most perfect opportunity for it. A hair stylist was called in for all the girls to have their hair styled and that included Kennedy. Noah slept in later than Kennedy and watched everyone get ready. When the time came for Kelsey to start getting him ready, he kicked up the biggest fuss. Millie tried to deal with him and he wasn’t going to listen to anything she said or do anything she asked. Millie had two resorts left which didn’t involve Jay – Tom and Nathan. Millie called them both up and asked them to come to the house to help her. They agreed and Millie could hear Jay in the background – clearly hovering to see what the conversation was about. “Let me talk to her,” Jay whined, trying to grab the phone from Tom. There was a little cheer from him when Tom handed the phone over. “Morning, bear,” Jay grinned, running his finger up and down the little section of the door frame he could focus on. “How did you sleep?”

“Not well,” Millie sulked. “I missed you being in bed. I had Kelsey to snuggle and she’s not as snugly as you.”

“It’s true, Jay,” Kelsey laughed from across the room. “She tried to snuggle up to me and I wouldn’t let her.”

“See.” Millie stuck her bottom lip out and turned to head out of the room. “Noah’s being a little shit though. Won’t get dressed for the wedding and refuses to listen to any of us. Even Britt and he loves Britt. Ken’s doing everything Kelsey says but not me and I’m stressing out, bird.”

“Calm down, Tom and Nathan are coming over to sort Noah out I’m guessing?”

“Yeah, he likes them the most. You know, apart from you. But you can’t see me before I come down that aisle. So, I’m having to recruit second and third best.”

“Mate, we’re going to help Millie with devil one,” Tom said, smirking as Jay threw a scorn.

 “I cannot wait to call you my wife,” Jay smiled. An open mouth smile where all his teeth were showing. He couldn’t help it and his cheeks were starting to hurt because of it. They stayed silent for a while; neither of them needed to talk – they knew that the other was the other end of the phone and that was all they needed. “I love you.”

“I love you too. I’m so nervous.”

“Don’t get cold feet. If you run away, I don’t think I could live and survive with the devil twins.”

“They’re not devils,” Millie giggled, biting her lip as she heard Jay’s laugh.

“Mils, you need to start getting properly dressed,” Kelsey said from the doorway of Millie and Jay’s bedroom. “If Jay’s going to undress you later, he needs to undress a sexy you.” Millie laughed as she heard Jay groan down the phone.

“Give me a hint?” he asked.

“Black and purple,” Millie giggled before she hung up the phone.

“You fucking tease,” Kelsey laughed, pulling her off to the spare bedroom to get her changed into the lingerie that she was wearing under her wedding dress.

  72. Doubts

Millie was standing just inside the church, waiting to walk down the aisle. Millie’s dad was standing with her and admiring how beautiful she looked, even under all the panic she was wearing. She was playing with the bouquet of purple Callas and Orchids. “If you play with it anymore, Millicent, you’ll make it fall apart,” Millie’s dad chuckled. Millie played with the bouquet even more. “Millicent.”

“I’m so nervous, daddy,” she mumbled. “What if I muck up and say something wrong and everybody laughs at me?”

“Now, listen to me,” Mr Parker smiled. “Every single thought you are having right now, James is having the exact same. He’s thinking about him mucking up his words, or what he’ll do if something happens to you and how he could live his life without you. He’s going over every memory you’ve had together up until this point and the memories you’re going to have, whether it’s another child or several.” Millie scoffed at the thought of having more than four children. Definitely not several more. “He’s going to be doubting himself; thinking you might leave him for someone else or he might not find you attractive when you both grow old. All these thoughts are going through your heads about spending your lives committed to each other. All these doubts and at the same time, the reasons as to why you want to be together. When you walk up that aisle, you need to reassure him that everything will be alright.” Kennedy came running up to Millie with Nathan coming in quick behind her.

“Sorry, she really wanted to see you.....” Nathan stopped speaking, looking Millie up and down in her wedding dress. “You look beautiful.”

Millie blushed. “Thanks, Nath,” she mumbled. Mr Parker stepped away with Kennedy for a couple of minutes. “Can you please tell Jay that everything will be perfect? Dad’s just freaked me the fuck out, telling me that Jay’s nervous and freaking out too.”

“He is,” Nathan laughed. “Jay’s thinking that he doesn’t look right and he’s accidentally going to say someone else’s name and just worrying really. I don’t think I’m helping.” Nathan looked down at his feet as he scuffed the bottom of his shoe against the floor.

“Nath, you’re nothing to do with his worry.” Millie put her hands on Nathan’s shoulders. “He doesn’t think that about us anymore. I can promise you that.”

“You might think not, but there’s a way he looks at me when we talk that he hates me. He hates the fact we still have such a close friendship and that sometimes, the twins prefer me over him.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Millie wanted to slap him. Or slap some sense into him at least. “Jay doesn’t hate you in the slightest. Ever since the stabbing incident, he’s been so thankful you’ve been around; keeping me grounded. He loves the fact you’re around and helping with the twins. I’m thankful you’ve been around. You’ve helped me with their beds and with potty training.”

“Jobs that he’s supposed to do.”

“Don’t piss me off on my wedding day, please?” Millie asked, seeing her father come back over with Kennedy. Nathan nodded, turning to Mr Parker and taking Kennedy in his arms. “I’ll see you in a bit, princess, yeah?”

“Can I sit with granddad?” Kennedy asked, stretching her arms out to Millie. Millie took her into her arms.

“Course you can, baby, but you gotta go with Nathan now.” Millie kissed Kennedy’s forehead. “You can sit with him in a bit, yeah?” Ken nodded her head which made her hair bounce.

  73. Pregnant

“I didn’t say the wrong name or fuck up,” Jay smiled as he and Millie made their way to the reception. Millie couldn’t stop looking at her wedding ring. It had five diamonds embedded into it. Jay had the same wedding ring but without the diamonds. “I was so nervous before Nathan came up to me.”

“He told you not to worry?” Millie asked, entwining her fingers in his. He raised their hands to his lips as he nodded. “Dad was telling me that every thought I was having about the whole wedding, you were having too. He freaked me out by saying that.”

“What thoughts were you having?” Jay asked in a mumble. Millie bit her lip.

“What am I going to do if Taylor turns up and manages to kill you next time?” Millie asked. She could feel herself getting teary from the question.

“He’d have to try bloody hard to,” Jay chuckled, wrapping his arm around Millie and kissing her temple. “The police are looking for him so it’ll be fine. He won’t kill you or anyone. I promise.” He placed another kiss on her temple. She turned her head and kissed him like she had when the vicar announced them as man and wife.

The memory of what she could hear, whilst she was kissing Jay, came back into her head. The vicar announced them as man and wife and Jay looked at Millie and Millie looked back before they kissed. As they started kissing, Kennedy’s voice echoed through the church. “Ew, mummy and daddy are kissing.” Everybody started to laugh and then she managed to get Noah to join in with “ew”. Millie and Jay both laughed as they pulled away from each other, running over to both Kennedy and Noah and picking them up to tickle them, resulting in the twins’ giggling their little heads off.

“I’m so glad they’re staying with Kelsey and Tom tonight,” Millie giggled, replaying Kennedy’s reaction in her head.

“Yeah, especially as at least one of them will be sober so they can look after them properly.” Jay looked out of the window. Millie jerked his arm towards her, wanting his attention back. “Kelsey didn’t tell you this morning?” Jay asked, confused as to why Kelsey would keep this away from Millie. “She’s pregnant.”

“And the cow didn’t tell me? The bitch!” Jay chuckled as he watched Millie pull her phone out of her left breast and search for Kelsey’s number. “Oi, have you got something you’d like to share?” Millie asked as Kelsey answered the phone.

“Your twins’ are little monsters?” Kelsey asked, clearly struggling to keep the twins under control.

“Well, it’s about children, but not mine.” Millie smiled as Jay tried to kiss her and get her off the phone. “Any news?”

“I didn’t want to say anything until tomorrow but I’m guessing Tom’s told Jay who’s told you?” Kelsey asked, sighing with relief as she managed to get the twins into the car. “But yes, I’m pregnant. You’re going to be an aunt.”

Millie squealed and jumped around a little in the car. “How long?”

“Only a few weeks. I’ve only missed one, so I’ve got ages to go yet.” Kelsey shut the door to her car and started the engine. “I’ll see you in a bit and you can kill me or hug me then, yeah?” she laughed.

  74. The speeches

Tom’s speech

I didn’t want any of you bastards going near my sister. Tom laughed. But none of you, except Seev, could keep your hands off of her. But if it was any of you that was to be with my sister, I’m glad it’s Bird. I know I said I’d rather it be Nathan but that was when you were first together. Now that I see how happy the two of you are, I’m glad I was wrong. Bird, the only thing I ask is to keep her happy; no cheating, no panicking her, no fucking her up. This is me speaking to you as her big brother not your bandmate or your best friend, but if you hurt her, I will hurt you. Mils, if he’s ever a dick, let me know. But I’m happy for you both. Welcome to the crazy Parker family, Jay.

Siva’s speech (best man)

Jay is one of the nicest, most charming guys I am lucky to be friends with. It’s a loss to the single community the day he announced that he and Millie were together but he picked a good girl to come off the market with. I remember the day that we all first met Millie. And I mean when we first met her and she was introduced just after the band got together and she helped Tom move into the first house. She was very quiet and kept to Tom’s room. A few hours later, she was heading back up to Bolton and we didn’t see her for nearly a year. That’s when Jay started talking about her. He thinks he didn’t really talk about her until he fell for her, but it started long before it. He couldn’t believe how two people who looked so different could be related. He couldn’t believe that Tom had such a beautiful sister. He sounded stupid but I guess if he’s thought it all this time and still believes it, he’s in love and crazy about her. And I am honoured to be friends with the both of you. Here’s to the happy couple.

Kelsey’s speech (maid of honour)

Millie’s Bridezilla. She was awful to plan this wedding with. She was such a control freak and wanted things just so. It was the worst experience to go through. Millie and Kelsey burst into a fit of giggles. That’s a lie. She was the complete opposite. She was so relaxed but knew what she wanted. She’s already my sister and now she’s bought Jay into the family as my brother. Erm, I’m not good with speeches and all that. Millie, Jay. I’m happy, so happy, for the both of you. To the McParkers.

Sean’s contribution

I’ve just gained a super hot sister-in-law. Congrats big bro.

Jay’s speech

When Tom first properly introduced Millie to all of us, and I mean properly by getting drunk off our faces, we’d just moved into the big house before Heart Vacancy was released and we had a two day flat party. Well, all the parents left after the first night and the real party started on the second night. Tom had told us all that we weren’t allowed to hit on her, kiss her or do pretty much anything with her except talk. So that’s what I did. I know that that didn’t happen when Max was alone with her.

I knew that the moment I got to know about her, I’d fall ridiculously in love with her and that’s why I kept the conversation about Tom. None of us really got to know Millie properly until she was living in the house with me and Nathan. After the first night she spent sleeping in my bed – the night it was just me, Nath and Mils going out and a guy nearly took her home – I knew I had jumped and I was falling. Every night we spent together, the more I fell for you, bear. I thought you were going to be scared about waking up to find our hands linked but you never were. In fact, most nights, you embraced it. Whenever it was just the two of us, you made me nervous and stupid but I loved every second of it. Yes, I am pretty much talking about all the cheesy moments of our relationship. Since the moment you told me you love me in that hospital, I knew that you were going to be the girl I end up with. The girl I was going to marry. The girl who was going to have my children. And I was right. I have married you, we have children and we ended up together. And I love you, so much, my Millie-bear.

Millie’s speech

I don’t know what to say. I think everybody’s said everything. Erm, thank you for coming. Thank you for putting up with the twins. Everybody laughed. I honestly can’t wipe the smile off my face. I’m just so happy. I may also be a little drunk but you know what, fuck it, it’s my wedding day. Sorry for the swearing. My dad, actually, this morning, told me something that made me relax a little. I thought I was the worst bride and the worst wife-to-be because I was having all these bad thoughts and doubts. But dad said that everything I was probably thinking, was probably the same as what Jay was thinking. What if he didn’t love me as I got old, or got fat, or became unattractive? What if he found someone else that he knew would be more suitable for him? Someone who was prettier, taller, better in bed. What if she’s famous, a model, an actress? But throughout the ceremony, before either of us said ‘I do’, the only thought in my head was the memory of the day I told him that I was pregnant. I was shitting bricks, excuse my language, and I thought he wouldn’t ever want to have children. But he did, thank god, and unfortunately we were blessed with the twin gene. Thanks, bird. But we had the two most beautiful children I could ever wish for. Bird, I look forward to having more. But not too many. I don’t want a revolving door installed, thank you very much. Everybody laughed again. I love you, and here’s to a long, happy, minimal argument marriage. Cheers, everybody.

  75. First of many for the night

“Mr Millie Parker, how do you think we should start our marriage?” Millie asked, she kicked her heels off as she stepped into the hotel room they had for the night. She grabbed the champagne from the ice bucket that was left for them, popping the cork which shot across the room. She took a swig from the bottle, offering it to Jay.

“Well, Mrs James McGuiness, we start with more champagne.” Jay took a big gulp of champagne, handing the bottle back to Millie. “Then,” he loosened his tie from his neck, “that wedding dress has been on all day; hiding your legs, and your waist, and your hips, and that ass.” Millie giggled before slapping his chest and taking a swig of champagne. Jay placed his hands on Millie’s hips, licking his lips as he looked Millie up and down. “I think,” he whispered, his voice a little gravelly from talking and singing all day. “That dress should come off. I have been torturing myself with the black and purple underwear that I’ve been thinking about all day and I need to see it.” His hands moved to Millie’s waist, turning her around so he could get to her dress. He slowly slid the zip down her back. He saw the black of the corset underneath and groaned at the thought of what he was going to see. Jay licked his lips again. He sponged kisses along Millie’s back as the zip of the dress reached the bottom. She helped him peel the dress off of her and it fell down as it reached the top of her hips. He groaned as he raised his lips to her ear, speaking in a whisper as he said, “so much better than I imagined.”

Millie smiled and bit the side of her lip, stretching her arms behind her and pulling Jay close to her body. She could feel him hard beneath his trousers. Jay wrapped his arms around Millie and buried his face in the crook of her neck. They stood there for a few moments; holding one another. Millie was the first to let go and turn around. She unbuttoned his shirt, slowing her hands as she reached the bottom of his shirt. She brushed her hands over his hardening cock before she brushed his shirt off. “You should be naked, or at least topless, more often,” Millie giggled, taking the champagne bottle back off Jay. She took a step back and swigged at the bottle, looking Jay over. He went to take a step towards her but Millie held her finger up and shook her head. “Stay still,” she ordered. “I want to take advantage.” She placed the champagne bottle on the dresser and stood within touching distance of Jay. She teasingly stretched her fingers out and ran them down his chest and abs. “Don’t move a muscle.” She lowered herself to her knees and pulled his trousers down to his ankles. She traced her fingers over the dark scar he had. It hadn’t fully healed yet and they made a promise to each other when he came out of hospital that they would wait until they were married before they were intimate with each other again. Millie only agreed because Jay’s doctor was very persistent that Jay did no physical exercise and definitely no sex.

Millie placed a kiss over the scar before pulling Jay’s boxers down to join his trousers. She took him in her mouth and started to work on him. Jay was soon pulling her up and guiding her over to the bed. He pulled the lace at the bottom of Millie’s corset and it loosened from around her. He slowly pulled it looser and pulled it away from her body. He groaned as her breasts became free for him to handle. He lowered his head so that he could take a nipple into his mouth. Millie moaned as he began to suck and nibble at her breasts. He lowered himself to his knees and slid her panties down her legs. He kissed her legs before placing his hands on the back of her knees. Her knees gave way which resulted in her collapsing on the bed. Jay kissed the tender skin of Millie’s inner thighs. The shocks going through her body were nearly enough to push her over the edge but she wanted him to be inside of her when she let herself go.

Jay pushed his fingers into her, moving himself up her body and placing kisses along it. Millie’s vision was becoming blurred with the orgasm that wanted to take over but she was trying her hardest to keep it from taking over her entire being. “You know you want to,” Jay mumbled in her ear. He took her earlobe in his teeth and sucked. A long string of swear words escaped her mouth as the orgasm she’d been trying to control, erupted inside of her. The first orgasm of many for that night.

  76. I don’t trust myself

Millie’s POV

It wasn’t every night but it was at least two maybe three times a week that I’d get the nightmares. He’d come back but it wasn’t Jay he was going after; it was me and on one occasion, it was the twins. I was petrified to go back to sleep after these nightmares. Sometimes I wouldn’t even sleep because the thoughts of what he could do would keep me awake. I would always play with my wedding and engagement rings, twisting them around my finger. Occasionally, Jay would wake up a little and pull me towards him like we used to. I’d then start to play with his fingers all night. There have been a couple of incidents where I’ve woken up in Kennedy or Noah’s bed and they’ve gone crying to Jay because I was crying while sleepwalking. I knew that when I did drift off, sometimes Jay would stay awake to make sure I was okay. But I knew my mind wouldn’t rest until Taylor was caught.

We hadn’t been given any news on his arrest. They hadn’t caught him and the longer it went, the worse I seemed to get. It would happen less often in the week, but Jay had to chuck some water over me because I was screaming. What a way to start a marriage, eh? Jay and I went to see someone about it and the only advise they could give me for now was to take a light sedative before bed that would let me sleep at least eight hours without any dreams, nightmares, or thoughts. I don’t have the nightmares anymore but I’d feel awful in the morning.

Both Jay and I – more Jay than me – decided that we shouldn’t try for another baby yet. If I’m still under all the stress, Jay feels that I could lose the baby. We also don’t know what the sedative could do to the baby. I mean, we still have the sex but I’m still taking the pill.

Jay and the boys agreed that they should take a couple of months off, or until Taylor’s found or I get better. The sedative let me sleep for at least eight hours so if the twins wake up before those eight hours, they can’t get me awake and we can’t have the twins running around the house. So all the boys agreed to stop writing, stop recording, stop gigs, stop interviews, etc, etc, until I was better and could handle the twins by myself. The fans weren’t happy and thankfully, since I’ve had the twins, I’ve deleted my Tumblr and Twitter so the fans couldn’t say anything directly to me. I mean, I wasn’t a fan about going crazy either so I was in the same thought bubble as them. I didn’t want them to stop doing stuff for the fans but I knew Jay didn’t trust me around the twins. I completely get him; I don’t trust myself and that’s what scares me most of all.

  77. Aunty Millie

As soon as Kelsey had had the baby, Millie and Jay rushed to the hospital with the twins. Kennedy was the most excited about seeing Tomsey’s baby; she wanted to see the baby and see if it was anything like her Baby Annabell. As soon as Kennedy saw Kelsey in bed with baby Alexis in her arms, Kennedy wanted a cuddle. But not before Millie could have a cuddle with her niece; Alexis Maisie Parker. “She’s got Tom’s genes,” Millie smirked as she cooed over baby Alexis. “The ugly Parker genes.” Tom nudged Millie which set her off into a giggle. “I’m kidding. She’s clearly got the beauty from Kelsey. She’s a Hardwick.”

“She doesn’t stop making noises so she’s clearly got that from the Parker gene,” Kelsey smiled as she closed her eyes and relaxed into the bed. “If I fall asleep again, I’m sorry,” Kelsey mumbled as she turned on her side and pulled the hospital blanket around her as she settled down for another nap since giving birth. Alexis – or as Tom and Kelsey had decided they were going to nickname her Alex – was perfectly happy to be in Millie’s arms. Tom lifted the twins up in his arms and let them see Alex. Kennedy kept on about wanting a cuddle so they sat her down in a chair and gently put Alex in her arms. Kennedy wouldn’t stop smiling and kept still like a statue because she thought she might break the baby if she moved. Tom couldn’t help but take a picture of two of his favourite girls.

“You don’t mind me putting her on Twitter, do ya?” Tom asked as he started a tweet about the picture. Millie looked at his phone and saw the picture, instantly cooing over it. That noise gave him permission to post the picture with a tweet. “You’ll make the best aunt,” Tom whispered as he wrapped his arm around Millie’s shoulders and gave a quick peck on the temple.

  78. Kidnap

Millie woke from her sedated sleep to find she had been gagged, wrists tied and blindfolded. She felt a wall behind her and tried to push the blindfold off. “I wouldn’t,” a voice said from a distance away.

“Who are you?” she tried to say but her voice was muffled.

“Come on, bunny, you must know,” he said, laughter in his voice. Millie tried to get her wrists free but the more she moved, the rougher the rope became. She heard footsteps coming towards her so she took a shot and tried to kick out. Her ankle was caught and she smacked her head against the wall. “Don’t kick me,” he growled. He threw Millie’s ankle back down, replacing his hand on her neck and lifting her up. “Now, listen to me. I’ve got your husband and your boyfriend in the next room. Both are unconscious for the moment. But I will be killing one of them. Or both. Depending on how I feel.”

“Taylor, kill me, not them,” Millie’s muffled voice tried to say. She felt Taylor’s fingers hook into the piece of fabric that was in her mouth. He pulled it down and placed his lips on hers, pushing her against the wall more. Millie bit his lip to get him off of her. She felt a sting in the right hand side of her face. She took a blind aim from where he was standing before and the fact she hadn’t heard any footsteps and spat at him. She managed to aim right, as it hit him on the right side of his face.

“Dirty little slut,” Taylor growled as he slapped her again. This slap jogged the blindfold as it fell from her left eye. “And I know you were sleeping in the same bed as the jerk of a husband you have, whilst you were still with me, Millie. Whore.” Taylor turned on his heel and went out the door at the back of the room – furthest away from Millie.

Millie took this opportunity to try and get the blindfold off. She managed to get it off from her eyes and down the rest of her face so it hung around her neck so it joined the gagging material. She looked down and saw she was in the pyjamas she had on the previous night. They were quite thick pyjamas with it being nearly the end of February. She was a little surprised that Taylor hadn’t taken them off of her.

Then she remembered the worst thing she could remember while being in this situation.

*~*

“What do you think you’re doing?” He asked as he climbed out of bed.

“What happened last night?” Millie asked, continuing to pull clothes on her.

“You drank a lot and then insisted you came back here,” Taylor smirked. “You couldn’t keep your hands off of me.”

“And now tell me the truth.”

“I just did.” Millie could see Taylor becoming angry. She’d never seen him like this; he was always sweet and gentle with her when they were together.

“No,” Millie said, her voice a little weaker than before. “Tell me what happened. Did you drug me again?” Taylor’s expression turned to fury as he grabbed Millie by her hair and dragged her into his living room. He forced her down onto the couch.

“You remember this couch?” Taylor asked, pushing her face against it. “Do you remember how many times you came for me on this couch?”

“Get off!” Millie tried to get out of his grasp but it only tightened around her arm and her hair.

“I’m going to make you cum again on this couch, for me.” There was a slight smile in his voice that made Millie instantly know what he was going to do to her.

Millie kicked Taylor in the back which made him let go of her hair and grab her leg. He pulled a set of handcuffs from his back pocket and clipped her hands together and around the leg of the sofa, bending her over the sofa slightly. He pulled down the underwear she’s managed to put on. He cut to the chase, not wasting any time. Millie screamed and kicked the whole time, trying to throw him off of her but his grip was too strong for her. She cried into the sofa as he caused her the pain no man should ever cause a woman to endure.

*~*

Tears started to run down her face. This time it wasn’t just her that was going to feel pain and suffer from Taylor’s actions; this time there was Jay and Nathan next door and Kennedy and Noah was without both of their parents.

  79. Trying to be Jay

Millie sank back down to the ground. She could hear some muffled yells from the next room and couldn’t tell if it was Nathan or Jay. “Jay?!” she yelled. “JAY!?!” She heard footsteps returning to her room and the door creaked as it opened. Taylor reappeared. “What are you doing to him? Why are you hurting him?” she cried.

Taylor looked her over, turning his nose up at the clothing she had on. He didn’t say a thing as he walked over to her, squatted down and pulled the cotton pyjama bottoms from her hips. He chucked them to the corner of the room before ripping her top. “I’ve heard all about your little dream,” Taylor whispered in Millie’s ear. “So, I’m guessing your subconscious was right about me.” Millie tried to kick Taylor again but he was quick to keep her feet still as he grabbed them. “I’m guessing there are parts of that dream that you’d like to relive?” Millie shook her head, knowing what parts he was talking about.

“Jay! Help!” she screamed. Taylor forcefully put his hand over her mouth. He held her legs down with his knees, pressing them hard into her shins. He ripped her underwear off and worked on removing every piece of material covering his hardened cock. “Taylor, no, don’t, please.” Millie was hardly getting her words out with the tears that were choking her. Taylor didn’t listen. He took his hand away from her mouth and pushed her legs apart, he even managed it whilst she was trying to force her legs closed. She could feel the bruising already developing.

“If you fight against it, it’ll just make it more painful.” Taylor dipped his head down and kissed her thighs. She wasn’t getting turned on at all. If this was Jay, she’d be turned on by the way his lips brushed against her thigh and as the curls on his head lightly skimmed against her warmth. The stubble on Taylor’s face had no effect like Jay’s stubble. She then realised how much Taylor tried to look like Jay. His hair was longer, thicker, and curly. He had stubble on his face and tried to make it look similar to the beard Jay had at times.

“If I have sex with you, will you let us go and leave us alone?” Millie asked. She didn’t want to do this but if it was an option, she was willing to do whatever to make sure she, Jay and Nathan could get out of this.

“To let you go, you’ll have to agree to leave your life behind and spend the rest of your new life with me.” Taylor pushed two fingers into Millie. Millie tensed and he found it hard to get any more of his fingers than the tips into her. “Millie, relax, or I’ll have to be more forceful and it will hurt.”

Millie refused to relax. She didn’t want him inside of her and if he couldn’t get inside of her, that was a good thing, right? But Taylor pushed his fingers in and resulted in a shooting pain in between her legs. She screamed out before Taylor raised his head back up to hers and kissed her. She didn’t give him the satisfaction of kissing him back. It wasn’t long before he had replaced his fingers with his erection that seemed to harden with the more that Millie refused to cooperate.

  80. Torture

Jay could hear and see everything that Taylor was doing to Millie. Every thrust, every kiss, every moan from him and cry, scream, sob from her. It broke his heart to see someone else abusing his girl, his wife, the one thing he cared about most in the world. He didn’t want to watch but he couldn’t keep his eyes off of the screen. Little did he know, Nathan was watching the same thing in another room further down the hall. Nathan didn’t watch as Taylor penetrated Millie; Nathan was too busy trying to get out of the wrist ties. He failed though. Taylor had tied them well. He could hear the screams from Millie through both the TV and from the room at the end of the hall. He laid himself onto his back and pushed himself along the floor until he reached the door. He could still hear Millie and it angered him and hurt him.

Nathan managed to push himself up onto his feet and with his hands, he felt for the door knob to get out. He twisted it and pulled only to find it was locked. He pulled at it several times and let out a growl of frustration before falling over onto his front. He hit his jaw on the floor and it killed every time he tried to move it. Thankfully, he’d only bruised it and not broken or fractured it.

Taylor seemed to go for ages on Millie. He was making Millie ache all over in pain and when he was finished, she was a sobbing, slightly bloody mess on the floor. She wasn’t aware that Jay and Nathan had watched/listened to the whole thing but I think that would make her feel even more ashamed and disgusted. Taylor left her tied and left the room to now torture Jay.

  81. Sober/high

The raping and abusing happened at least four times a day over the period of the five days that Taylor had them all kidnapped. Or adult-napped if you will. Jay was strapped to a chair where his face was directed straight to the TV so the only way he could block it out was to close his eyes; he could still hear every noise that escaped the two of them though. Once Taylor found Nathan on his face near the door, Taylor dragged a chair into his room and tied Nathan to it. Taylor had cut a hole in the bottom of each chair and stuck a bucket underneath. Don’t get me wrong, Taylor did feed them and water them but Jay refused to eat and the only reason he drank anything was because the headache he got from dehydration was hurting so much that he had to drink in the end. Millie ate anything and drank anything given to her; she knew she needed to stay alive for her babies and for Jay and Nathan.

Millie was determined that they’d all get out alive, that Taylor would let them live once he’d gotten bored. She was hoping it would be soon. Millie wasn’t fully aware of everything going on around. The fact she was willingly eating and drinking everything that Taylor was giving her, she wouldn’t question that he had slipped something into them. She was aware when Taylor came into the room and when he was speaking, but she couldn’t understand what he was saying. It was when he took his trousers off that she knew what was going to happen and the pain that it caused. When he was finished, she felt dirty and disgusting – and that wasn’t due to the fact that she hadn’t been allowed to shower for a couple of days.

Today, Taylor picked her up once he’d finished re-dressing himself. He pulled her along the hallway and into a small bathroom. He lifted her into the bath and turned the shower on. He looked concerned as he washed her down and shaved her. He hadn’t seen her smile the whole time and he loved her smile. He was rinsing her hair of conditioner when she looked up to him and pleaded with her eyes. “Please don’t do that to me again,” she whimpered. Taylor was a good guy and he felt a pang of guilt flow through him. He didn’t want to do this but he wanted Millie and the drugged up Taylor wanted to have Millie to himself and kill anyone that was going to get in the way. The sober Taylor was taking over now and he wanted Millie but he wanted to let her be happy. He couldn’t deal with the guilt so he left her in the bath, shutting the water off first, and going to the kitchen to take another hit.

  82. The day one of the boyfriends dies

“Today’s the day, bunny,” Taylor sang as he came into the room Millie was in. Millie woke rather groggily. Taylor squatted beside her and gave her a kiss on the lips; a kiss she pulled away from as soon as she realised what he was doing.

“Today’s the day?” she asked, bringing her hands up to her face and rubbing her eyes.

“24th February,” Taylor grinned. “The day one of your boyfriends die.” Millie pushed herself onto her feet and attacked Taylor, beating his chest with her fists. “Millie, what did we say about the agreement? No running away, no hitting me, no going behind my back or both will die.”

“You’re a cunt, do you know that?” Millie spat, heading out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. She showered and brushed her teeth, coming out clean and feeling a little sparkly. She got herself dressed into the skirt and the low cut top Taylor had for her. She went into the kitchen and made herself and Taylor some breakfast. Taylor came up behind her as she was buttering the toast, placing his hands on her waist and admiring her body from over her shoulder. She knew what was coming and she was still taken by surprise and shock by it. She hated every second he touched her, especially when it was messed up Taylor. Sober Taylor was gentle and caring for the five minutes that he was sober and the guilt hadn’t won over and persuaded him to take another hit of meth or coke or whatever he was snorting this time.

It was quick and less painful this time. “Why don’t you take something through to your boyfriends,” Taylor suggested, a smirk on his lips. “Maybe say a final goodbye?”

Millie took the toast and a couple of bottles of water along to the first bedroom. She didn’t know who was in each bedroom, she just knew that one was in this bedroom and one was in another bedroom. Millie swung the door open and saw Nathan sitting there. He looked up to Millie and she felt like crying from the sight of him. His face was bloody and there were cuts across his shoulders and chest. “Get out,” he managed to say from his exhausted being. “Millie, please, get out.”

“Why?” she asked, kneeling in front of him and raising the water to his dry lips.

“I don’t want you seeing me like this.” He refused to drink the water at first but after Millie insisted repeatedly, he let her water him.

“Nathan, he said today is the day that he kills one of you.” Millie knew she sounded worried as she could feel the lump in her throat, trying to make her cry. “I don’t want either of you to die.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll all be fine. I promise.” Nathan tried to move into a position that was more comforting for Millie but without the use of his hands, he couldn’t get into that position. Millie laid a blanket over Nathan’s lap and climbed on, wrapping her arms around his neck. “But if we had to say goodbye, I want to say it like this.” He nudged his nose against Millie’s cheek. His eyelids were drooped so his eyes were only half open as he looked into Millie’s eyes. Tears started to run down both of their cheeks before Nathan pushed his lips against hers.

“I don’t want to lose you,” Millie cried when their kiss ended. She wrapped her arms around Nathan tighter and tangled her fingers in his hair. He pulled at the rope that tied his hands to the chair, but it didn’t budge. He so desperately wanted to wrap his arms around Millie.

  83. Legally bonded

Millie went in to see Jay and he was in the exact same position and nakedness that Nathan was in. Millie sat on Jay’s lap without saying anything and tried to feed him some buttered toast. He refused to eat anything still and it wasn’t until she was begging with everything she had that he ate one bite of toast. She could see he had lost some weight (mainly in the face and on his belly) and she didn’t like the fact that he looked weaker. She liked him looking like the grizzly bear she fell in love with. He looked tired with the bags under his eyes and the fact they were quite bloodshot.

Millie unscrewed the lid to the bottle of water and placed it against his lips before she lifted it. He drank the water and he hesitantly looked up to her. He definitely didn’t look like himself and it made Millie instantly upset. The tears started up again. Jay managed to twist his wrist around so he could stroke his fingers against Millie’s back. “I love you,” he whispered, trying to cheer her up. “And I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this all again.”

“He’s going to kill one of you,” Millie cried. She curled against Jay’s chest again, losing the touch from his fingers. When Jay asked “when?” Millie replied with, “today!” Jay rested his forehead on Millie’s as he let a few tears escape his eyes. Millie didn’t even notice that she held Jay the same way she held Nathan; her arms were wrapped around his neck with her hands tangle in his hair. The difference was that she cried more with Jay and kissed him more. She stayed with Jay until Taylor came in and snatched her away. Millie wanted more time with Jay so she took a swing at Taylor – it hit him straight in the face. His grip tightened around her wrist and he twisted it so she was screaming in pain on her knees.

“I thought you weren’t going to hit me or disobey me, bunny?” Taylor asked as he used his other hand to grab her hair and pull her up so she was off her knees but not able to support herself on her feet. Pain was the only expression Jay could see; no regret, no guilt, just pain.

“I don’t give one fucking shit about you anymore. I just want you to stop hurting these two and to promise me that you won’t kill either of them,” Millie growled. She’d grown a backbone.

“I told you what needs to happen for that to happen.” Taylor pulled Millie up on to her feet.

“What do you need to do, bear?” Jay asked Millie. Millie shook her head at Jay, silently asking not to ask again. “Bear?”

“She has to leave everything behind and come away with me.”

“A bit hard when she’s married to me.” Taylor glared at Jay. The flaw in his plan. Legally, Jay and Millie were together and Taylor couldn’t marry Millie until Jayllie were divorced. “Good luck getting a divorce out of us.”

Taylor had to think of something quick. “Good thing I’m shooting you today then, isn’t it?!” And with that, Taylor grabbed both of Millie’s arms and dragged her out of the room.

  84. Baby I’d die for you

Taylor had all three of them tied up – Millie in one corner, Nathan against the wall that was adjoined to her corner and Jay was on his knees in the middle of the room. Taylor had a gun in his hand with four bullets loaded into the 6-bullet barrel. Millie was under strict orders to be quiet or Jay would be shot.

“If you really want to get back at Jay, kill me," Millie yelled, hoping that Jay wouldn’t be shot for her suggestion. "I'm the thing he cares about most. What harm would you be doing to him if you killed him?"

"No, Millie, no," Jay cried from the centre. 

"That's a good point," Taylor said as he thought the option over. He pushed Jay back over to Millie and Nathan. She quickly kissed Jay and whispered "sorry" before Taylor grabbed her arm and held the gun to her head. "Jay, any last words?"

"Please don't kill her," Jay whimpered. "Look, how much do you want? I'll give you any amount of money you want just to not hurt her."

"We'll give anything," Nathan said too. "Whatever you want."

"It's not about money; it's about you taking away the girl of my dreams," Taylor laughed maliciously. "If I'm not allowed to have her, why should you have her?" He was asking both Jay and Nathan this question. "If I kill her..." Taylor dragged the end of the gun down Millie's cheek. "...then no one gets her. Everybody will be even. Well, except Jay, of course. You still get to keep two pieces of her in your children. Maybe Kennedy and Noah should get a taste of their mother's fortune? Maybe I should take Millie completely away from you, including all her DNA?"

"No, don't you dare touch my children," Millie screamed, kicking Taylor in the shin.

"Shut it, Millie," Taylor said, hitting the handle of the gun against Millie's temple, knocking her unconscious. 

"Millie!" both Nathan and Jay screamed. Taylor threw Millie onto the floor. Taylor aimed the gun at Nathan's leg and pulled the trigger, sending a blinding pain up his leg. "Fuck," Nathan cried, not being able to hold it as his hands were tied behind his back. He tried with all his effort to keep consciousness as his body was fighting against him to keep awake to ease the pain. 

"Don't worry, Nathan," Taylor chuckled evilly. "I'm not going to kill you, or kill Jay. There will only be one death tonight. Right, now, Jay..." Taylor turned to Jay with a smirk playing on his lips. "...she won't wake up from this. Before she comes round, I'll shoot her. Unless you give me a good enough reason to let you say a proper goodbye."

"Please don't kill her, Taylor, please please please don't kill her," Jay sobbed, his eyes fixed on Millie. "If she dies, I won't be able to live. I need her."

"And what about you Nathan? What is your reason for letting her come round to say goodbye to her?" Taylor asked. Nathan had completely zoned out. If he zoned out, he couldn't feel the pain in his leg. "Nathan!" Taylor yelled, kicking Nathan's wounded leg.

"Shit," Nathan yelped. "Look, is it really worth killing Millie? I mean .... shit..." Nathan winced from the pain in his leg. "... You're not just taking Millie away from Jay; you're taking her away from Kennedy, Noah, Tom, Kelsey, Alex, Max, Siva, Millie's parents, and me. If you really wanted to hurt Jay, the one thing you should be killing is his lizard, not his wife."

"Please don't do anything to Millie," Jay whimpered again. Taylor laughed. He pointed the gun at Millie. "NO, TAYLOR, DON'T!" Jay screamed. Millie started to stir.

"Look what you did, Jay," Taylor whined. "She's waking up. I didn't want her waking up." Taylor didn't pull the trigger on her though. Not yet, anyway. 

Millie slowly opened her eyes, trying to focus her eyesight. She wriggled around to try and spot something familiar which is when she faced Jay. She felt a blinding pain on the right side of her head, but she tried as hard as she could to focus on the words Jay was saying. "I love you, bear," Jay whispered.

Millie smiled at Jay as Taylor stood over her, the gun aiming at her temple where he'd hit it mere minutes previously. "I love-" 

And Taylor pulled the trigger.

  85. It’ll be fine

“You too,” Millie finished. They were all in shock as the gun had made a click noise instead of a gunshot. Millie was still fading in and out of consciousness. When she was awake, her vision was blurred and she wasn’t aware of her surroundings. Taylor had walked over to the corner of the room, inspecting the gun and why the bullet hadn’t shot out of it. He unlocked the barrel and looked to see where the bullets were. Millie was conscious as she looked back over to Jay. He had shuffled closer to Millie, wanting to touch her, to protect her. “Go back,” she whispered as he managed to reach her. Jay shook his head and bent it down to kiss where Taylor had hit her.

“Listen,” Jay whispered by Millie’s ear. Taylor was still faced away and Millie could hear faintly hear sirens. “We’ll be okay, bear.” He played a risky move and kissed Millie. He managed to get away with it as Taylor hadn’t turned around. Millie tried to look over to Nathan and saw he had lost consciousness.

“Go back over and try to wake him, please,” Millie begged Jay. She wanted Jay back in his original position so it was less likely that Jay would kill him.

Things couldn’t work out that way though, could they? Before Jay could get back to his original position, Taylor had turned around, spotted Jay still shuffling over to his spot. “What have you been doing?” Taylor asked, pointing the gun at Jay. Jay froze in his current position. “Answer me, Jay!”

“I was just making sure she was okay,” Jay growled. This was the Jay she fell in love with; the protective Jay who didn’t take any shit. “You may want to kill her-”

“I don’t want to kill her; I want to kill you!” Taylor growled back. Jay managed to push himself up onto his feet. His hands were still tied behind his back but he didn’t need them – you could see the fear in Taylor’s eyes. As Jay rose, Taylor’s hand that was attached to the gun rose too.

“Kill me, then,” Jay said, his chin jutting up as he said it.

“Jay, no!” Millie cried.

Taylor was torn. His sober side was coming out as he hadn’t injected/snorted/smoked anything in a couple of hours but his aggressive/possessive side was also still in play. He wanted Jay to suffer but he wanted to keep Millie for himself. “You want her, right? Kill me and she’s no longer married. Kill me and she’s technically single. Kill me and she’ll be all yours.”

“JAY!”

“Bear, it’ll be fine, trust-” Jay was cut off by the gun being shot at him three times; once in the arm, once in the chest and the other skimmed his left side. Jay collapsed to the floor as the noise of sirens became clearer and footsteps could be heard outside of the little bungalow. “I told you it would be fine,” Jay breathed as Millie bent over him. It was barely a whisper when Jay said, “When I die, watch the video.” Millie caught “video” before she looked over to Nathan, who was still unconscious against the wall. Millie started to cry as she repeated to say “no” over and over again.

“POLICE!” someone shouted from outside the room. Taylor’s eyes widened in terror. He was definitely going to be caught; the whole place was surrounded.

“You and Nathan will be okay,” Jay said. Millie bent down so her head was against Jay’s.

“Don’t you dare fucking die on me, James,” she cried. “You’ve done this too many times and this will be the last time you ever make me scared like this, okay?”

“Trust me, it will be,” Jay coughed.

“Now, just relax, keep calm and they’ll get you out of here and to a hospital and fix you.” Millie couldn’t control the tears.

  86. What happened?

The police rushed in as soon as the front and back doors were knocked down. Taylor tried to make a run for it but was cut short when a policeman shot him in the shoulder. Someone called for paramedics to come in and they escorted all three of them out, taking Jay first, Nathan second and Millie last as she wasn’t physically harmed. They rushed Nathan and Jay to hospital while they notified Tom that Millie had been found along with Jay and Nathan. Millie was escorted via police car to the hospital where she was admitted for a general check-up and complete re-hydration. Nathan was taken off to surgery and Jay was taken off to surgery as he was in the most critical condition. Nathan was in and out of surgery quickly compared to Jay. Jay was attended to by the head of cardio due to the bullet grazing his aorta. Millie sat by Nathan’s bed, waiting for him to wake up to try and pass the time for Jay to get out of surgery.

Nathan started to wake up not long before Jay was out of surgery. “What happened?” he mumbled as he started to come out of the anaesthesia. Millie moved closer to him, standing up and bending over his bed.

“Jay was shot three times,” Millie choked out. “He’s still in surgery. You fainted from the gun shot to your leg and they have now got Taylor.”

“Are you alright?” Nathan asked, trying to focus on Millie. Millie nodded her head, biting her bottom lip. Part of her was thankful that Nathan was alive but the other part was hating the fact that he was alive and Jay was on the verge of dying. “He was going to shoot you, Mils.” Nathan lifted his hand to stroke her cheek. “He was going to kill you.”

Millie whispered, “rather me than Jay.” A couple of tears fell on to Nathan’s chest from Millie’s chin.

“He’ll be okay,” Nathan whispered as Millie climbed into bed beside him. He wrapped his arms around her and comforted her.

  87. Last images

“You can’t keep him like this forever, Mils,” Tom whispered in her ear, like Jay could actually hear them. Millie brushed Tom’s comment off her shoulder as she resumed the same position she’d taken up for the past two weeks. She crawled next to him and curled against his body, pulling his slightly cold arm around her warm body. He continued to lay motionless.

The doctors did all they could to remove the bullet and fix the damage done to his artery but he’d lost so much blood and it was left too long that the only way they could keep him alive was by putting him on life support. As Millie was next of kin, it was her decision to choose how Jay should live - or die. “I can’t let him die,” she sobbed as she wrapped her arms tighter around him.

Tom placed a hand on her shoulder. Tom sighed. He knew this would be the hardest decision in her life. “Millie, you can’t let him live like this. His organs are failing and they’ll all have to fail before he dies.” Tom squeezed her shoulder. “I’m not telling you to switch it off but he’s slowly dying at the moment.”

“I can’t switch it off. I need him to have a chance of living!”

Tom started to pull Millie away from Jay. He couldn’t stand to see her like this. “Millie, he’s slowly dying. It’s not right to keep him like this until he is just a body of non-working organs.”

“I need him, Tom,” Millie screamed at him. She seemed to have crumbled in his grip; she became slumped and Tom placed her in the chair he usually sat in. “I need him,” she repeated but in a weaker voice. She reached for Jay’s hand and held it in both of hers. “I don’t know what to do, Pecker,” she sobbed.

Tom dropped to his knees so he was in front of her and looking up to her wet, slightly puffy face. “You’ll know what to do.” He sighed as he wiped Millie’s face dry. “What would Jay want?” Millie sniffed as she shrugged. “You must’ve discussed it at some point.” Millie shook her head. She raised her hands to her face to cover it while she burst into a fresh set of tears.

It was a few days before Millie made her decision. The twins wanted to see their daddy and Millie wouldn’t let them. She didn’t want the last images of their dad in this world to be of him with tubes and wires and machines surrounding him. The last time they saw him was when he was happy and playing games with them. She didn’t want them to forget that. She would’ve given anything for her last image of him alive to be a happy one. It was a shame he wasn’t there for the twins’ third birthday. And wouldn’t ever be again.

  Epilogue

This happened every year, on the same day; Millie would lie on the opposite side of the bed and curl up in his clothes. It broke Nathan’s heart to see her like this. All he wanted was to take her in his arms and keep her protected. Even after ten years, she was still like this. Nathan quietly walked over to her side of the bed and climbed in, fully clothed. Her eyes flicked up to his. This started a fresh set of tears from her eyes. Nathan wrapped his arm around Millie’s waist and pulled her into his chest. He gently kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back in comfort. This was the one day a year she allowed herself to break down like this. No way would she let herself get in this state on any other day. The twins and George were out with Nanny Parker for the weekend so Millie could have the day to herself. She didn’t want Nathan there with her but he was the only one that kept her from doing anything stupid. Tom, Max and Siva all kept away from Millie on this day. Sure, they were mourning too but they never got married or had babies with Jay. They didn’t plan the rest of their lives with him.

Millie continued to cry into Nathan’s chest. He knew he couldn’t help her and he felt helpless. The only thing he could do was cuddle her and try to soothe her until she felt she’d run out of tears or it hit midnight; whichever happened first. Kennedy and Noah always spent this day with their Nanny Parker. They would rather spend it with Grandma Maureen but she mourned this day like Millie did. When Millie and Nathan had their daughter, Georgia (or as they call her, George) she joined Kennedy and Noah up in Bolton. Kennedy and Noah understood this day and last year and this year, they were given the choice of whether they wanted to go to Nanny Parker’s or if they wanted to stay in London. They chose to get away. It wasn’t like they hated being around their mum while she cried, it was more that they felt like they couldn’t do anything. Neither of them liked that feeling. George wasn’t quite old enough to understand but she went along with whatever Kennedy did as she idolised her.

Nathan pulled the duvet around the pair of them and Millie continued to sob into his chest. They laid there for a few hours. Today, Millie ran out of tears before it hit midnight. “It won’t ever get better, will it?” Millie asked, her voice was cracked and hope wasn’t evident in it. Nathan didn’t know how to answer so just squeezed her tighter in his arms. “You shouldn’t be with me. You should be with Mara. You were happy with her. She was happy with you.”

“She’s happier with someone else now,” Nathan chuckled. Millie and Nathan had been together for the past eight years. They had George four years ago and she was the pure apple of Nathan’s eyes. Of course, he always loved Ken and Noah but he knew they were Jay’s kids, not his. He always wanted his own daughter. Millie wanted Nathan to be happy and if that meant giving him a daughter or even a child he would love, then she was more than willing to give him that. “And I am happy with you. You’re allowed to be upset about Jay. If anybody tells you ever to get over it, hit them.” Millie chuckled and nuzzled her face into Nathan’s chest. “Do you want to watch the DVD this year, or should we throw it away?” Nathan whispered in her ear.

“I want to see him,” Millie whispered back. Nathan kissed her head before unwrapping his arms from around her and climbing off the bed. He went into the walk-in wardrobe and went into the top far corner. Millie kept a box of Jay’s stuff that she couldn’t get rid of; stuff like his wedding ring, some bracelets from fans, small things he gave to Millie that he’d made while he was bored in the studio. Priceless, sentimental things basically. Also in this box was the most valuable thing to Millie, and in some ways to Nathan as well; a DVD with Jay’s kind of farewell message. Nathan came back out of the wardrobe and flashed the DVD to Millie. He headed over to their TV in their bedroom and placed it in the DVD player. Nathan climbed back into bed and wrapped his arms back around Millie, preparing for her to start crying all over again. She didn’t at first; she just lay in Nathan’s arms, looking up at the TV and smiling at the video of Jay.

“Hey, bear,” he smiled. He looked down at the ground before sniffing. Nathan hated watching this video but Millie always wanted to see Jay like he used to be. “There’s only one reason why this is being played and that’s because I’m gone before I should be. It already nearly happened and I really hope this never gets played. If you are watching this,” Jay stopped. He blinked back the tears and sniffed hard to refrain from crying. Nathan wrapped his arms around Millie tighter as she started to cry again. “If you’re watching this, I’m so sorry. I never want to leave you. I want to see our kids grow up, get married and have their own children.” Millie crumbled against Nathan. He felt her completely break against him and he couldn’t help but let a few tears out. “I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy. I don’t know of anyone apart from you who deserves it. Well, maybe Nathan because he’s been through the shittiest time with girls. Right, so here’s my thinking; if you’re watching this because I’m ... dead .... you,” Jay gulped before continuing. It was a few seconds that seemed to take forever. “You need to be with Nathan. If I’m dead, the only person I’ll allow you to be with is Nathan. I know Nathan will always be there to help with Ken and Noah and if we have more kids, he’ll more than likely be there too. He loves you. He doesn’t want to admit it to you or anyone but I can just tell. He never stopped, even when he was with Harri and even while he’s with Mara now. Nathan was supposed to be here, helping me, but he decided to not be a part of it. He thinks the stabbing wasn’t Taylor; that it was all a misunderstanding. This is just a precaution. Anyway, if I die, I want you and Nathan to be together if he and Mara don’t work. Don’t let him see this before they split up; otherwise they might split up because of this.” Jay continued to talk on the DVD.

“Let’s switch it off, please,” Nathan begged and made to move away from Millie.

“There’s not long left,” Millie whimpered. Nathan sighed before kissing Millie and returning to his previous position. Millie was right; Jay didn’t speak for much longer. The DVD cut out into static and then back to the menu. Millie was in tears again and Nathan felt himself becoming weak again. He flicked the TV and DVD player off with the remote and cradled Millie in his arms until she’d stopped crying. It was only a few minutes this time, but it still made Nathan feel helpless and weak.

“Chinese, curry or pizza?” Nathan whispered in Millie’s ear. He knew the answer before she said it. He knew the order too. “Lamb biryani, naan bread and poppadoms, yeah?” Millie nodded in response before Nathan climbed out of bed to make the call to the local curry house. When he came back into the room, he heard the shower going in the en suite. This was an improvement since the day Jay died. Usually, Millie stayed in bed all day and ate the same thing every time. After a few minutes, he heard the shower stop and Millie get out. He headed into the en suite and saw her with her eyes red still. “Curry’ll be here in about half an hour,” Nathan said with a sympathetic smile. He knew it was a heartless thought but when it got to half 7 or 8pm, he knew it wasn’t long until Millie was back to her usual self. “Look, come here,” Nathan sighed and opened his arms wide for Millie. She hesitantly stepped into them. “You do this every year on this day. If I didn’t love you and if I didn’t want to be with you because of this, I wouldn’t be here after ten years, would I?” Millie smiled against his chest. He kissed the top of her damp head. “I love you, Parker, and nothing could ever change that. 15 years I’ve been in love with you, and I’ll never stop. Never.” He lifted her chin and looked into those brown eyes he loved.

“I love you too, Sykes,” Millie sniffed. Nathan grinned at her to try and brighten her mood. It worked; she was smiling back at him. He let her get dressed and by the time she was finished, the curry had arrived. “I need to stop doing this,” Millie sighed before picking at her naan bread. Nathan made a noise to ask what. “It’s been ten years and I still breakdown as soon as it hits the 15th, like it happened the day before. I’ve moved on, I’ve started a new life with a new guy and we’ve got George and I should really stop crying like this.”

“If you need to mourn, you mourn,” Nathan said as he started his jalfrezi.

“No, it’s not fair on you or the kids.” Millie dug her fork into her biryani. “They shouldn’t have to go spend a few days with my mum. God, they’re probably on the verge of killing themselves.” Millie laughed and Nathan slipped out a chuckle or two.

“Your mum’s lovely,” Nathan smiled. “They’re probably having the time of their lives. She spoils them too much.”

“Ken and Noah are her first grandchildren and George is her youngest; of course she’s gonna spoil them.” Millie laughed. She properly dug into her curry, slightly forgetting everything else that had happened during the day. Nathan was starting to learn how to take her mind off of things.

After dinner, they went into the living room and decided they’d watch the Hunger Games trilogy. Millie snuggled into Nathan’s chest, entwining her hand in his. Nathan stroked up and down her back and kissed the top of her head affectionately. He was happy that she was feeling better. “I love you,” he sighed as the first movie was coming to an end. Millie looked up to him and smiled. She gently placed a kiss on his lips.

Prologue (what happened on Char’s end during the four years)

Charlotte’s POV

The day Char left Nath – October 2013

I shoved all my stuff into my car. Nathan hadn’t chased down after me to stop me. I was hurt. Either he was too heartbroken to think properly or he genuinely didn’t love me as much as I thought. I got into my car and drove. I didn’t know where to go, I just drove. I ended up back in my home city of Cambridge. I pulled up to a small hotel just outside the city centre. I unloaded my suitcases and dragged them into the hotel lobby.

“Hey, I need a room for just me,” I said to the girl behind the desk. She had a name badge with Bayley engraved on it.

“And for how long?” Bayley asked and smiled sweetly at me.

“Erm, until I can find a house I can have.” I chuckled. She chuckled too. She filled in my details and then was hit with the realisation of who I was. Oh here we go, I thought.

“Charlotte Bailey?” She asked. “But don’t you have a place? Down in London? With Nathan?”

“Erm, I’d rather not talk about it thanks.” I looked up at her from under my fringe and smiled weakly. She nodded understandingly and showed me up to my room.

  Five weeks later – December 2013

No, this can’t be happening. I’ve read about it and seen it happen in TV series but I never thought it would happen to me. I held the stick in my hand. Two blue lines were visible. I tried another, and another, and another until I’d peed on ten sticks. I was pregnant. I was pregnant with Nathan’s baby and I’d completely dropped off from everyone’s knowledge. I mean, this was the second time I’d missed my period. The first time I just put it down to stress from leaving Nathan and trying to get my own place but the second time was when I started to worry. I’d felt a bit sick in the evening but I didn’t really think about it. It was usually after dinner that I’d feel like I was going to chuck it all back up, but I never actually threw anything up. I guess I got off morning sickness quite easily. I didn’t know who to call. I’d changed my phone but kept all the numbers on my new one. I couldn’t call any of the boys or their girlfriends/fiancées. The next person I thought of was Nicole. I wasn’t entirely sure if she’d be in England or whether she would’ve gone back to the States. I knew her and Niall were still together as Bayley had kept me up to date. Without even giving another moments thought, I bit the bullet and pressed call on her number.

“Hello?” Asked Nicole’s voice the other end.

“Nic?” I asked. Why was I asking? I knew it was her. “Nic, where are you right now?” I hadn’t even looked at the time. 3:15am.

“Hang on,” she mumbled down the phone. I heard a bit of scuffling before a light switch was turned on and a door closed. “Do you know what time it is?” She asked. I wasn’t sure if she knew who it was on this end of the phone.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, Nic.” I nibbled my lip trying to think of how to go on. “Are you in England or the US right now?”

“England,” she yawned. “Hang on, who is this?” So, she didn’t know who was this end.

I sighed. “Nic, it’s Char.” I heard a loud bang in my ear which made me pull my phone away from my ear. It sounded like she’d dropped her phone.

“I’ve been having 20 questions off of the lads,” Nicole started ranting. “All wanting to know where you are and why you actually ditched. I told them what you told me but they weren’t happy with that answer as Kels, Nare and Lani had given the same answer. Nathan’s a state. He spent three weeks not answering his phone or door and not eating properly or even looking after himself in general. You need to come back to him now.”

I couldn’t help it; I burst into tears. “I can’t come back. I can’t handle it anymore, Nic.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have ranted. Look, what’s up? Why were you calling me at this time?” Nicole sounded a bit more apologetic.

“I’m pregnant,” I stuttered. Nicole gasped and her end went silent. “Nic?”

“Right, you need to tell me where you live now!” Nicole ordered. “I’ll drive to you.” I thought about it for a few seconds before I told her the hotel I was staying in. Thankfully it only took her two hours to get here.

  A month later – January 2014

The Wanted announce break from music industry

The Wanted unwanted

World’s greatest boy band announce break

Nathan looked so heartbroken throughout the interview. He didn’t speak one word. I caressed my baby bump and told my TV screen how much I missed him. He couldn’t hear me but on some level, I was hoping he could hear me. I’d managed to keep out of the eye of any members of the TWFanmily and any Directioners. No one knew where I was apart from Nicole. She kept finding photography opportunities in Cambridge and just made out to Niall that she was staying at a hotel whenever she had to stay overnight. He shrugged it off and let her do what she loved.

  A month later – February 2014

I finally have a house. As I didn’t have a lot of stuff to move in, I didn’t strain myself at all. When I went furniture shopping, I had everything delivered and put together for me so I wouldn’t have to do any of it. The house looked incredible with all the furniture in. I didn’t completely splash out but I saw it as the house I was going to live the rest of my life in. I left the baby room undecorated and had the cot and changing table set up in my bedroom. I was going to wait a few more weeks before I found out what sex the baby was. Knowing me, if I found out now, I’d be buying every single thing that it could possible fit in to.

  Three months later – May 2014

The little bugger’s coming. He had to come today didn’t he? I was standing in the middle of Sainsbury’s breathing deeply as I felt the contractions starting. I pulled my phone out my pocket and pressed Nicole’s number. She answered on the first ring. “The little bugger’s coming,” I chuckled down the phone. Nicole laughed too and told me she was on her way to the hotel to pick me up. This was when I had to give her directions to the store I was in. I left my trolley in the store and went and waited for her outside. My water broke as I stepped out into the weak sunshine outside the store. I swore to myself as my jeans were now soaked through and I looked up only to be met by my father’s face.

“Charlotte?” He asked. I hadn’t seen him for three years. He looked so ... old. He had a wide smile on his face and took me into his arms. Well, he put his arms around me as much as he could with my belly sticking in the middle. “How are you pumpkin?”

“Umm,” I stuttered. I wasn’t sure what to make of all this. I was standing there, in some mild discomfort with my jeans soaked, with my swollen belly and he’s asking that? “Dad, I’m carrying your grandson and you ask how I’m doing?” I don’t know whether it was because I was in an unbelievable moment or not but I burst into laughter. My dad started to laugh too.

“It’s my grandson?” He asked, wiping away tears from his eyes. I nodded. He put his hands on my belly and looked at me. “How far along?”

“Just under nine months,” I giggled. “My water has just broke.”

 Dad’s face fell into shock. “Let’s get you to the hospital and you can call the father and tell him to get to Addenbrookes.” My dad led me over to his car. I felt tears in my eyes. I wasn’t sure if it was because he had no idea about anything or whether it was because he was actually acting like a father.

15 hours later

“Here’s your beautiful baby boy,” the midwife smiled and handed me this little alien looking creature into my arms. He was a purple-red colour with goo all over him and was screaming his lungs out. I was completely disgusted but at the same time, I felt the happiest I’d been in months. I looked up to see my dad trying to hold down some sick. He was facing away from me and I laughed at his reaction.

“Dad, why don’t you hold your grandson?” I asked. Dad turned around, not looking queasy anymore. He was crying as I handed his grandson to him. I relaxed into the bed I was on. I was shattered. 15 fucking hours I had to put up with him trying to push out.

*

“Hey, Char,” Nicole whispered as I woke up. I’d fallen asleep as soon as they rolled me back to my room. She was holding baby Sykes in her arms, pulling faces at him. “Have you decided on a name?”

“I’ve always liked the name Matty,” I sighed. He looked so tiny. “Well, Matthew and then shorten it to Matty.” Nicole handed him to me. “Where’s my dad gone?”

“He went home to sleep,” Nicole blushed. I gave her a questioning look as to why she blushed. “He asked who the dad was.”

“Please say you didn’t tell him.” I was pleading with everything I had in me that she didn’t say.

“It’s not my place to say.” She whispered. I sighed in relief. “So, Matty ...”

“Sykes. I could never let him be a Bailey.”

“And what’s wrong with a Bailey?”

“Bailey’s are liars, secretive, hurtful people who shouldn’t be allowed near other people because they will corrupt them and destroy their lives.” I went on a bit of a rant.

“But they’re also independent, strong, thoughtful, pleasing, confident, talented, approachable people who brighten up other people’s days by just walking into a room.” Nicole kept pulling faces at Matty as she said all of this. Nicole stood up and handed me Matty. I smiled at him and he grabbed my little finger and wouldn’t let go. I honestly couldn’t stop crying.

  Just over four years later

“Can we go to the park?” Matty asked me. There was something telling me not to go but he had his puppy-dog face on which I couldn’t say no to. And he bloody knew it too. I sighed and placed him on the kitchen counter.

“Is your bedroom tidy?” I asked. Matty’s face fell. He slowly shook his head. “When it’s tidy and all your toys are back in the toy room, we can go to the park. Do you want me to see if aunty Nicole wants to come up?” Matty grinned and nodded his head.

Nicole had been such a big help over the past four years. I felt bad as Nic tore away from Niall to come and spend time with us. Niall knew all about Matty now as he confronted her about why she kept going off most days to see me. Nicole told Niall everything and Niall’s even been to see me a few times.

I lifted Matty off the counter and placed him on the kitchen floor. He ran off up to his bedroom and I could hear him trying to clean his room up. I grabbed the house phone and dialled Nicole’s number. She left it a few rings before she answered.

“Hey, Char,” she sang down the phone.

“Hey, Nic,” I smiled. “Matty wants to go to the park. You want to come with?”

“I can’t at the moment, got a booking in an hour,” Nic apologised.

“Alright then,” I said, fussing with a tea towel on the back of one of the bar stools. “We still on for tomorrow?”

“Definitely, let me know when you want us up there.” Nicole then became distracted the other end for a minute or so. “Look, I’ve gotta go now. I’ll speak to you later.” We said our goodbyes and hung up.

I made my way into the living room and picked up a few of Matty’s toys. The sooner we got to the park, the sooner we could leave. I could still hear him cleaning up his room upstairs. He was a determined kid. If he wanted something, he would work hard to get it; just like his father. He ran down the stairs and halted on the bottom step. I raised my eyebrows at him. He looked guilty.

“Sorry mummy for running down the stairs,” he grinned at me. I rolled my eyes and grabbed him. I gently put him on the floor and tickled him. He giggled and giggled until his stomach started to hurt. “Mummy,” he tried to say as I tickled him. I stopped tickling him and helped him off the floor.

“All your toys are in the toy room, yeah?” I asked, putting my hands on my hips. Matty nodded and giggled. “Alright, go put your shoes on.”

“Can I wear my Supras that uncle Niall got me?” Matty asked, wide-eyed with excitement to be wearing his new trainers. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

“As long as you scratch them up a bit first.” I laughed. Matty ran to the cupboard under the stairs and pulled out the box containing his Supras. He opened the box and pulled them out, his mouth open at how much he loved them. We both headed to the back garden where Matty opened the back door and threw them on to the patio. He chucked them against the wall a couple of times too. “That should do them,” I chuckled and winked at him. Matty sat down on the back door step as I put them on his feet and tied them up.

“I’ll be back in a minute, mummy,” Matty said as he rushed back inside and up to the toy room. He came back down with his two favourite race cars in his hands. “Ready!” He grinned up at me. I shut and locked the back door, grabbed my bag with my phone and purse in and grabbed my keys out of the bowl by the front door. I shoved some Toms on and we both made our way to the park.

It was only a ten minute walk away which suited me fine. We got to the park and Matty ran off to the swings. He handed me both of his race cars before he sprinted over to the swing set. I relaxed into a park bench and looked around the park. It was a lovely May day with the sun quite hot. Maybe I should’ve put sun cream on Matty. I nibbled my lip and took my phone out of my bag. I started to play Angry Birds. I’d forgotten how addictive it was. I looked up after half an hour (thinking it was only five minutes) to see Matty talking to another little boy. At some point Matty must have come back over and collected his race cars from me. They were sitting on a bit of grass by the tyre swing. I was getting a bit bored and half an hour is enough time to be out at the park, right? I started to make my way over to him.

“Matty?” I called over to him. He looked up and grinned when he saw me. I looked over a bit to see a couple of guys standing a short distance away. I froze. Shit! I didn’t think Nathan would be here. As soon as Matty reached me, I picked him up and started to head home. I felt a hand grab my wrist and I turned around. “Nathan,” I breathed.

Nathan was finding it difficult to breathe. He shouldn’t have run over with his asthma. Stupid twat. Max rushed over and handed him his inhaler. I placed Matty on the ground where he wrapped his arms around my thigh. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I didn’t want this to be happening. Nathan cupped my face with his hands. “I still love you,” he said. He was stroking my cheeks with his thumbs. Tears were starting to form in my eyes.

“Nathan, no,” I said and tried to pull away from him. I wiped the tears from my eyes and picked Matty up. I turned around and headed back in the direction of home.

“Charlotte,” Nathan called. “Char, please,” he begged. I cracked. I stopped walking and wiped my face again.

“Who is that man?” Matty asked. He had his arms around my neck. I pushed his fringe out of his face and smiled at him.

“He’s your daddy,” I cried. I kissed his forehead and played with his fringe a bit longer. God, he looked like Nathan. Why couldn’t he look more like me so I wouldn’t have to be reminded every day of the person I left? Matty’s mouth dropped into a small “o” shape and he looked behind me to where Nathan was standing.

“Char, just answer me one thing.” Nathan had caught up to me again. I turned around to face him. “Is he ... mine?” Nathan asked. Was he stupid? He didn’t need to even ask that question. Matty was the spitting image of him and I think everyone could tell. I looked from Nathan to Matty and then back to Nath again. I couldn’t keep eye contact because I felt so guilty about what I’d done. I nodded at him. His jaw dropped.

I placed Matty down on the ground. He put his arms around Nathan’s legs. Nathan picked him up and hugged him. Nathan looked genuinely happy. I thought he’d be angry that I gave birth to his kid and raised him so far without even telling him. But Nathan held out his arm and pulled me into him, encasing me and Matty in his arms. Nathan kissed Matty on the forehead and then kissed me on the lips. He held me against him for a minute or so.

“I still love you too,” I said as he rubbed his nose against mine.

      Chapter 1

Charlotte’s POV

I was back in Nathan’s arms. I buried my face in his neck as he squeezed one arm around me and one around my son, our son. I felt a slight pang of guilt. I had left him, not being able to deal with all the fans. I had raised his son without him even knowing let alone him helping. I looked up to him with guilt completely written across my face. A few more tears fell down my cheeks. Nathan kissed my forehead and wiped the tears away. He placed Matty on the ground and I crouched down so I was eye level with him.

“Hey, why don’t you go and find uncle Max?” I suggested. Matty pulled a little confused face.

“Who’s uncle Max?” Matty asked and pouted slightly. This kid reminded me too much of everything I saw of Nathan as a kid. I smiled and let out a small chuckle. I took his hand and walked over to Max who was standing a short distance away.

“This is uncle Max,” I smiled at Matty. “Could you take him for a bit?” I asked Max. He nodded. He gave me a hug and kissed my cheek.

“It’s nice to see you again, Char,” Max whispered into my ear. He crouched down to Matty’s height. “Come on, mate. Come meet the rest of your family.” Max offered his hand to Matty. Matty took a step closer to me and looked up at me. I gently pushed him towards Max and he reluctantly took Max’s hands. I turned back to face Nathan.

“I’m so sorry, Nath,” I cried. Nathan wrapped his arms around me and soothingly rubbed his arms up and down my back. I cried into his chest.

“Shhh,” Nathan cooed. We stood there in silence for a few minutes. I could feel the others’ eyes on me but I couldn’t stop myself from crying into his chest. “There’s no need to tear yourself up about it.” Nathan leant away from me and wiped the tears from my cheeks. I sniffed and chucked my head back, staring straight up into the sky.

“I couldn’t ever bring myself to go back and deal with the fans,” I started to explain. “And then by the time you started up again, Matty was nearly two and I felt so guilty I’d gone over two years without telling you that you had a kid.” I took a couple of deep breaths in. “Nicole told me to tell you straight away but I couldn’t do it. The amount of times I’ve tore myself up about it and cried and-” Nathan pulled me tightly into his chest again, stopping me from talking.

“So, Nicole’s helped you?” Nathan asked in a soothing voice.

“Yeah, she’s been such a great help.” I sobbed.

“And Niall?” Nathan asked, warily.

“He only found out about two years ago. He doesn’t come up that often.” I felt Nathan’s hands rub up and down my back again. “In fact, he keeps buying Matty stuff to make him look like you. The Supras Matty’s wearing right now is his 4th birthday present from Niall.”

“He’s four?” Nathan asked. I looked up at his face and he looked shocked. “When did you fall pregnant with him?”

“Just before us girls went on holiday, it must’ve been,” I said. I bit my lip, watching Nathan. I was expecting him to start going into a rant about how I kept this a secret from him. He didn’t though. I rested my head against his chest again. He started to stroke his fingers through my hair. I wiped my face dry with my cardigan and breathed in Nathan’s scent. I’d left wet patches on his shirt but they didn’t show; I could just feel them against my cheek.

Nathan’s POV

I didn’t know whether to be angry and upset or happy and relieved. I mean, I got my girl back. Well, I might not have her completely back. But I finally found her and this time round I wasn’t going to let her go, under any circumstances. I looked over to Max, Jay, Seev, Tom and that and could see them watching us. Matty was playing with Connor and they were sharing the race cars again. I put my hand at the top of Char’s neck, bottom of her head and lifted her chin up. She had no option but to look at me.

“You need to meet the new additions to the family,” I winked at her. She smiled and kissed me. I moved my hands to her lower back as she slid her arms around my neck. It still felt natural to kiss her. I held her against me and didn’t want to stop kissing her. We both had nearly five years of kissing, cuddling and love making to catch up on. I took her hand in mine and pulled her over to the rest of the lads and girls. Shell, Nare and Lani stood up instantly and hugged her. She burst into a new set of tears which caused Matty to get up and stand in front of her.

“Mummy? What’s wrong?” He asked. She bent down so they were eye level with each other. He reached to her face and wiped her tears. He rubbed his hands on his jeans and wrapped his arms around her neck.

“Nothing’s wrong, sweetie,” she chuckled and nuzzled his neck lightly. “These are happy tears.” Matty took a step back and nodded his head. He went back over to Connor and continued playing.

“So, Char, that’s Max and Shell’s little boy Connor who’s playing with Matty,” I said and sat down on the grass. She shuffled back over to me. “He’s four, too. Then in the pushchair is little Lucy. She’s, what; 10 months old now?” Shell nodded. Then Lucas ran over to me and sat on my lap. “This little monster here is Lucas. Three guesses who he belongs to.” I laid him down on his back and started to tickle him. “He’s now 2 and a half.” I sat him up properly and cuddled him. “Then in Jay’s arms over there,” I pointed to where Jay was standing with his most prized possession in the world in his arms. “That’s Iris. She’s not even three months old yet.” Char let out a sigh and had a smile on her face. Lucas climbed off of me which enabled me to put my arm around Char. Matty came over to us after a few minutes and curled up on Char’s lap.

“Mummy, can we go home soon?” Matty asked, resting his head against Char’s collarbone and looking like he was going to fall asleep.

“We can do, sweetie,” she cooed. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his head. She turned her head to face me. “Do you want to come back with us?” Char asked me. I didn’t have to think twice about and I started to nod my head.

“What about the gig, mate?” Max asked. He was now holding Lucy as she tried to walk around.

“I’ll be back in time for sound check, promise lads,” I said and stood up. I helped Matty and Char to their feet. Matty grabbed a hold of Char’s hand and we started to walk towards their house.

  Chapter 2

Charlotte’s POV

It seemed so weird to be walking into my house with Nathan. He completely looked out of place. He stood timidly in the hallway, waiting to be invited in, to sit down and that. I saw how uncomfortable he felt in the house and bent down to Matty. “Hey, Mattster. Why don’t you go upstairs and play in the toy room for a bit?” I asked. Matty looked from me to Nathan and then back to me. He kicked his shoes off and ran upstairs. “Oi, next time put your shoes away,” I laughed. Matty stuck his head around the top of the stairs and stuck his tongue out at me. “Little shit,” I chuckled under my breath. Nathan smiled too as he heard what I said. “Relax, Nath. You want tea?” Nathan looked like he relaxed slightly at the sound of a cup of tea. I took his hand and led him into the kitchen. I filled the kettle and flicked it on. I fussed around as I grabbed mugs, tea bags, sugar and milk from various areas of the kitchen.

Nathan watched me like a hawk the whole time; following my every movement. A couple of minutes later and we both had a cup of tea in front of us. We sat in a bit of an awkward silence. We both knew there was the elephant in the room but neither of us wanted to bring it up. The silence was interrupted (thankfully!) by Matty running into the kitchen. He climbed up on to one of the bar stools next to Nathan and sat facing him.

“So, you’re my daddy?” Matty asked. Well he obviously knows how to be subtle about stuff.

Nathan grinned at Matty. “Yeah, buddy,” he chuckled. “And you’re my son?” Nathan asked, cocking an eyebrow up.

Matty slowly turned his head to me. I was smiling at how they were with each other. I nodded at Matty. “Yeah,” Matty said, warily. “Do you want to see my room?” Matty asked. He was now slightly buzzing with excitement.

“Of course!” Nathan sounded quite enthusiastic. He picked Matty up off the bar stool and put him on the ground. “Why don’t you go up to your room and I’ll be there in a minute?” Matty nodded his head and ran out of the kitchen. Nathan came round the counter to stand next to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me. “We’ve got our gig tonight,” he started. He didn’t look me in the eyes but he was paying more attention to my lips. “I was wondering if you’d like to come to it?”

“I’d love to,” I said without even having to think about it.

I hadn’t seen them perform since the first gig they did when they came back after their break; the Capital FM Summertime Ball of 2016. I shouldn’t have gone but Nicole had press tickets and managed to get me a fair distance away from the stage so Nathan wouldn’t see me properly. At one point, my heart got proper pumping. I was singing along and in tears from seeing them look so happy on stage and I caught Max’s eye. I thought he wouldn’t be able to see me but his face fell and he missed his intro for Chasing The Sun. Nobody else seemed to recognise me as my hair – back then anyway – was a dark chocolate colour. It was now back to its dirty blonde, natural colour.

“Wicked,” Nathan grinned and kissed me lightly on the lips. “We’ve got a babysitter who will look after the kids backstage if you want to bring Matty along to the sound check and that.”

“Oh good,” I sighed. “My dad’s away this week and Nicole’s got a shoot today.” Nathan looked confused.

“Your dad?” He asked. His hands loosened around me.

“We have so much to catch up on,” I muttered. “Are you doing anything tomorrow?”

“Nope, we’ve got two weeks off after tonight.” Nathan grinned.

“Well, I can ask Nicole and Niall to look after Matty tomorrow and we can have a massive talk about everything tomorrow, if you want that is.” Nathan debated this for a few seconds before nodding his head in agreement. I sighed in relief as Nathan pulled me in close to him again. “He’s like you in every way imaginable,” I said as I nuzzled into the crook of Nathan’s neck.

I felt Nathan chuckle. He kissed my forehead before he left me to join his son upstairs. Within a couple of minutes I heard them giggling with each other. I know everything wouldn’t just fall into place. I knew we’d have to work to get back to the way we used to. It’s been nearly five years and there’s Matty to think about. We couldn’t just fall back into what we had.

Nathan’s POV

I walked into Matty’s room and it was completely decorated with race cars and anything related to them. He had a Scalletrix set out and was racing both of the cars around the track. I sat down next to him and watched it for a few seconds before he handed me one of the remotes. We didn’t say anything to each other as I could see him concentrating.

“And Matty’s coming up on the inside but oh look, Nathan’s quickly catching up on him,” I started commentating. “Nathan’s gaining speed and ... vroom, he’s overtaken Matty! What is this? Matty has been undefeated until now. Will Nathan hold out until the end of the race? Who knows. Matty’s slowly falling behind while Nathan still has the-” And that was the point where my car came off the track and flew towards the wall. Matty burst out laughing and dropped his remote. I couldn’t help but laugh too. We were both laying on the floor crying with laughter. Matty showed me nearly everything in his room, including the guitar “uncle Niall” bought him. He took me downstairs and into the living room. Char was curled up on the sofa with the TV on.

“Let me guess what you’re going to show daddy,” Char laughed. I missed her laugh. Her eyes followed Matty to an area just round the corner. He disappeared out of sight and didn’t come back out. I pulled a confused look to Char who rolled her eyes and laughed. “Follow him,” she chuckled. I went over to where Matty disappeared to and found him sitting at a keyboard. He started playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I tried my hardest not to cry but the fact that Char had bought him a keyboard and was getting him to play it brought tears to my eyes. I turned around on the spot and headed over to Char. I grabbed her hands and pulled her up off the sofa. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her. She pulled away slightly with a confused smile on her face. “What’s that for?” She asked. She looked a little concerned about the tears in my eyes.

“I love you,” I said. I pushed her hair behind her ears. “I wish I wasn’t a twat that day and ran after you and refused to let you go.” We both heard a gasp from next to us.

“Daddy said a naughty word!” Matty looked shocked.

“I know,” Char giggled. “Naughty daddy!” I pouted playfully at her as I pulled her in to me again. “When do you have to go for sound check?” She asked between kisses.

I looked at my watch on my left wrist. It was now half 3. “In about an hour.” I kissed her lightly on the nose. I missed everything about her. I missed her smile, her laugh, the way she wrinkles up her nose when she gets a little embarrassed, the way she playfully hit me with her shoulder, how she ran her fingers up and down any part she could of me in a comforting manner, the way she’d take a sharp intake of breath every now and then for no reason at all and how she wasn’t even aware she was doing it, the sleep talking, her random outbursts of dance moves for a couple of seconds before she returned to normal. “How long does it take to get into town?”

“The Corn Exchange?” Char asked. She was starting to play with my necklace. I nodded in reply to her question. “It’ll only take half an hour.” She looked up into my eyes. I smiled at her and rubbed my thumbs across her cheeks.

“Can you play anything else?” I asked, turning to face Matty. We both went back to the keyboard. I sat on the small seat and placed Matty on my lap. I started playing chords and without realising, I started playing I Want It All. I hadn’t played it in such a long time but right now, that’s the only song that was coming to mind.

Before we knew it, it was nearly four and time to get to the venue. Char drove all of us there. Matty was really excited. We pulled round to the back of the small theatre. I helped Matty out of his car seat and he held Char’s hand as we walked in. As soon as we stepped through the back entrance, Jayne spotted me and made her way straight over.

“Where have you been?” She asked. She either completely ignored Char or just didn’t notice her.

“I’m here now so does it matter?” I asked. I looked sideways to Char which is when Jayne noticed. Her face fell when she saw Char’s face. Jayne just stood there speechless. “I should go head to sound check shouldn’t I?” I grinned cheekily at Jayne and rushed past her in the direction of the stage. I paused and headed back to Char. “I think it would be best if you just hung out in the dressing room, Char,” I started. “There are fans with VIP tickets here and I don’t think we should go showing Matty off to the world before we chat tomorrow.”

“I was thinking the exact same thing,” Char nodded. I kissed her before I headed off for the stage.

    Chapter 3

Charlotte’s POV

Jayne was still stood speechless in front of me. The longer she stood there the funnier I found it. I started to get the giggles – partly because of Jayne’s reaction but mostly because of nervousness.

“Hi, Jayne,” I smiled. Jayne hugged me, tightly. I let go of Matty’s hand and wrapped my arms around Jayne. We hugged for a few minutes in silence before either of us loosened our grips on each other. She then noticed Matty attached to my leg. She gasped and covered her mouth. “Jayne, this is Matty,” I introduced her to him. “And yes, he’s Nathan’s.”

“I’d be able to tell that any day,” Jayne chuckled. She bent down to his eye level. “You look so much like your daddy.” Matty buried his face behind my thigh.

“Come on, sweetie,” I laughed. I picked him up and placed him on my hip. “This is Jayne. She’s a very good friend of your daddy’s. Well, she’s his boss. That means she can get him to do whatever she wants. Mummy will never be able to do that.” Jayne laughed.

Jayne showed us the way to the boys’ dressing room. Kelsey, Shell, Nare, Lani, Connor, Lucy, Lucas, and Iris were all in this room. Matty was still in my arms and wanted to get down as soon as he saw Connor. I plonked him on the ground and joined Lani on the sofa. She had Iris in her hands and she was making the cute gurgling noises. She had a toothless smile on her face too. I loved it when Matty was that age; he didn’t talk back but he had a little bit of a personality. Although, Matty still doesn’t really talk back. He can be cheeky but he knows when he’s getting near the line.

“Do you want to hold her?” Lani asked me. She handed Iris over to me. Iris fitted naturally into my arms. Her face went blank as she tried to focus on my face. I pulled faces at her, forgetting about everyone else in the room. I looked up after a few minutes to see Shell and Kelsey giggling. Lani took Iris back off of me and placed her in her little car seat. Shell left the dressing room for a couple of minutes and came back with a younger looking girl. She took the three boys and Lucy off to another room for a bit. Shell sat on the arm of the sofa whilst Lani stood up from the sofa to let Kelsey sit down. Nare and Lani pulled up a couple of chairs and sat in front of me.

“As if you went off without saying a goodbye to me!” Shell jabbed me in the arm. Oh god, here we go, I thought. I was wondering when I was going to get this from the girls. “You go on holiday with these three and Nicole and then say goodbye to them all without even saying anything to me.”

“I’m sorry, Shell,” I apologised. I wasn’t going to cry throughout this. “I couldn’t cope with all the fans anymore and so I bailed. I should’ve given more of a try but I was weak.” I looked into my lap, avoiding any of their eye contact.

“Why didn’t you call us about Matty?” Kelsey asked. She put her hand on my arm and squeezed it gently in a gesture of comforting.

“I felt like I couldn’t,” I admitted. I still didn’t look up from my lap. “If I called one of you, one of the lads would eventually find out and you wouldn’t exactly blame them for telling Nath. So I called Nicole.”

“She’s got a point, you two,” Nareesha piped up. Kelsey and Shell turned their heads to face her. “What?” Nare laughed. “You two blab about everything!” Nare crossed her arms and smiled only raising one corner of her mouth.

“But we hear absolutely nothing from you for five years!” Kelsey sulked. “You missed so much! Connor being born, Siva and Nare getting married, Tom and me getting married, Lucas being born, Lucy being born, Lani and Jay getting married, Iris being born and the news on me getting pregnant and there you were raising little Nathan!”

“How long will I have to grovel for?” I asked. I could feel the tears coming on. All of a sudden we heard the boys start singing. The theatre was only small so it was no surprise that we could hear them doing their sound check. “Nath’s coming to mine tomorrow and we’re going to talk about everything.” I went back to looking at my lap.

“Well, I think it’s weird how much Matty looks like Nathan,” Kelsey giggled. “I mean, I had to do a double take when Max walked over with him earlier. Is he like Nathan at all?”

I nodded my head. “From his cuteness to his cockiness,” I laughed. “He’s started to have piano lessons and showed Nath what he could do earlier. It brought tears to Nath’s eyes.” I smiled at the thought of how happy Nathan was when he saw Matty at the keyboard.

Matty came running back into the dressing room. He stood in front of me and grinned. “Can I go see daddy?”

“I’m sorry, baby,” I pulled a sad face. “You can’t go see him right now. He’ll be back here in a bit so you can bug him then.” Matty sighed and sat down on the other sofa. The girls pulled confused faces at me. I sighed before lowering my voices so Matty couldn’t hear me. “It wouldn’t exactly be the best idea for the fans to see Matty on the same day that Nathan found out he has a son, would it?” The girls nodded in understanding. “The fanmily are going to hate me for coming back let alone coming back and announcing that I hid Nathan’s kid from him for four years.”

“They won’t hate you, Char,” Nare said. “The fanmily have never hated you and it’s only the loyal members of the fanmily left now. None of the boys or us have received any hate since the boys had their break.”

“Personally,” Lani started. “I think that we’ll all see a new Nathan from today.”

The other girls nodded in agreement but I was confused. “Why?” I asked. I looked around at the other girls who avoided my eye contact.

Lani was the one to explain. “Nathan has never been the same since you left.” She broke eye contact. “He was never properly his same, cheery self. He appeared it on stage but he wasn’t really with it around us. He became really depressed and wouldn’t spend that much time hanging out. Jay said he walked into the house a few times to find him on the carpet of the master bedroom with the engagement ring and Teddy.” My heart leapt out of my chest.

“H-h-he ... en ... engagement ring?” I managed to get out. The girls immediately looked guilty. The tears started to pour out at that point. I stood up and went to head out the room. I remembered Matty was in the room. “Matty,” I said and turned to face him. “Stay in here until I come back, yeah?” Matty nodded at me, looking a bit worried. “Mummy will be back in a few minutes.” I left the room but didn’t know where I was heading. I found myself outside by my car. It would be so easy to just drive home. Instead, I unlocked my car and climbed into the back seat. I laid down on the floor and cried.

  Chapter 4

Nathan’s POV

After a brilliant sound check and a fun meet and greet, we headed back to the dressing room. Matty was sitting, bored out of his brain, on the opposite sofa to the girls. They looked quite guilty with themselves. I then realised that Char wasn’t there. I sat down next to Matty and gave him a quick cuddle. I suggested he went back to where Connor and Lucas were. He nodded and ran off to the opposite room. “Where’s Char?” I asked the girls.

None of them looked up. It took them a few seconds before Nare answered me. “She ran out of the room crying.”

“What’s happened?” I moved over to the sofa Kelsey and Shell were sitting on. “What did you say is probably what I should ask?”

“We were just saying how we think you’d be happier because Char’s back in your life,” Nare explained. I pulled a confused face which caused Nare to sigh. “Come on, Nate. We’ve noticed how depressed you’ve been since the day she left you. And now she’s back, we thought you’d perform better. Then Lani mentioned how Jay’s walked into your house a couple of times to see you on the carpet of your bedroom with Teddy and the engagement ring. Char couldn’t believe what she heard, broke down and ran out crying. She told Matty to wait in here until she was back but that was about ... over half an hour ago and she still hasn’t come back.”

“Mate,” Max cut in before I could say anything. “I’ll go see if her car’s still here.”

Max’s POV

I don’t even know why the girls mentioned the engagement ring. She had no clue about it. I pretty much ran to the back of the theatre and into the car park. I was expecting the purple Audi R8 to be in the car park but it wasn’t there. Why the fuck did I say I’d check to see if her car was still there? We all travelled in the tour bus but just for this gig, Shell, Kelsey, Nare, Lans and the kids all drove up from London. I decided I’d look in every car to see if she was in them. I skipped the first four I came across as they were the girls’ cars. Next were a few cars which didn’t seem to have any kid’s stuff in it. Then I looked in a metallic blue Ford fiesta and spotted Char lying on the floor at the back of the car. I tapped on the window which made her jump. She saw me and pulled herself up on to the seat. I opened the car door and slid in next to her.

“Come ‘ere,” I said and wrapped my arms around her. She cried into my chest.

“He bought an engagement ring, Max,” she whispered. “A fucking engagement ring and I left him.”

“I know, babe.” I tried to soothe her. Even after five years she still felt like my little sister. I kissed the top of her head. “All of us lads knew that he was.”

“When was he going to propose?” She looked up to me. I knew this was going to kill her to hear what I was about to say.

“When picking you up from the airport, I was late for a different reason as to what I told you.” Char looked like she knew what I was going to say. “And that’s because Nathan was getting everything ready back at your place so that he could propose to you.” Charlotte looked away from me. I could see her bite her lip trying to make herself not cry anymore. “Look, if you don’t want to go back into that theatre, that’s fine because at least we know you’re okay now and Nathan knows where to find you. But please go back in there, for our sake, for Nathan’s sake and for most importantly Matty’s sake. I think Nathan’s tearing himself up already. He never wanted you to find out about the proposal until he knew he had you completely back.”

“Could you get Nathan out here?” She asked me. I nodded and kissed the top of her head again. She played with her keys in her lap as I climbed out the car. I left the car door open as I went inside to get Nathan.

Charlotte’s POV

He was going to propose to me on the day I left him. This was a new low. I felt like the biggest bitch for doing that to him. There I was thinking of myself and he was thinking about how we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. Everything about that last night came back to me. All the doors in the flat were closed when they’re usually left wide open; Nathan kept playing with something in his jeans pocket; he mumbled something as I said “I know how you want to spend the rest of our lives together.” It was a few minutes before Nathan joined me in the car. He didn’t say anything. I didn’t say anything. He just put his arm around me and I cuddled up to him.

  Chapter 5

Charlotte’s POV

Nathan’s performing hadn’t changed a bit since the old times. He jumped around and did moves that drove the fans crazy. It was weird to see the audience not looking like young teenage girls. Although there was still quite a few groups of young teenage girls. All the kids were backstage with the babysitter. I was just hoping Matty behaved because he could sometimes play up with strangers. As I was thinking this for the hundredth time that night, I saw him run on stage to Nathan. Nathan looked from Matty up to me with panic on his face. I left the girls in the area we were in and ran off to the side of the stage.

“Matty!” I called but he couldn’t hear me. Nathan scooped Matty up in his arms and tickled him. The girls started “awww”-ing. Nathan carried him over to me. The lads had finished All Time Low by this point and the audience had gone pretty quiet. That’s when you could hear one thing getting louder amongst them.

“Is that Charlotte?” They were starting to ask each other. I took a few steps backwards so that no one in the audience could see me. Nathan came right up to me; he cocked an eyebrow and had a smirk on his face.

“Ready to dive into the deep end?” Nathan asked, Matty still in his arms. I shook my head at him. He rubbed his nose against mine and kissed me lightly. He took a hold of my hand and dragged me on stage. As soon as the audience saw me, the whole place went silent. I mean, you could hear a pin drop. I saw all the faces looking at me and felt panic take over.

“Nathan, this was a bad idea,” I said and started to back away and head towards the side of the stage. Nathan pulled me into him and kissed me. There were a load of gasps from the audience.

Nathan pulled away from me and smiled. He pulled his microphone out of his pocket. “Everybody, you remember Char, right?” Nathan asked. He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. “And I’d like to introduce you to Matty.” Matty grinned at Nathan. “He’s our son.” The girls/women in the audience all went ‘awww’. “See,” Nathan said to me. His microphone was now behind my back. “They don’t hate you.” I looked into Nathan’s eyes; those familiar green eyes. He moved his head to mine and rubbed his nose around mine before kissing me again. “Now, buddy, you need to go with mummy and stay with her, yeah?” Nathan asked Matty. Matty nodded. Nathan placed him on the ground and I took his hand. Nathan kissed my forehead before I walked off stage.

Matty was singing along to all the old songs. I use to play them whenever I was sad. Us five girls and Matty made our way backstage as they were finishing with Glad You Came. Matty started to kick up a fuss because he wanted to hear Nathan singing it. I felt like the worst mum. I know how much he loves that song as it’s his favourite but we had to get out back otherwise we’d hit the fans leaving and Kelsey really couldn’t afford to do that with her bump. We headed straight back for the dressing room. The boys came in a few minutes later. They all made an instant fuss over the kids first. I could see Matty becoming more tired. I looked over at Lucas and Connor and they were falling asleep in Nareesha and Max’s arms.

“Shall we get you to bed, mister?” I asked Matty. He was resting his head against my chest with his eyes starting to droop. He shook his head and groaned.

“I want to stay up,” he whined. He was barely awake. I chuckled and kissed his head.

“You need to go to bed,” I said. I looked up to Nathan. He was sitting on the arm of the sofa now. “We’re going to go.” He looked down to me and nodded.

“I’ll walk out with you,” he said as he stood up from the arm. He lifted Matty out of my arms so I could get myself out of the sofa. Matty was really drifting off now. I kissed and hugged everyone goodbye and Nathan and I made our way to my car. Matty had completely fallen asleep by now. He had his head resting on Nathan’s shoulder with one arm over the same shoulder and the other had fallen beside him. He looked beyond cute and Nathan looked like a dad, which was weird. I unlocked the car and Nathan strapped Matty into his seat. He gently closed the car door and turned to me. There were quite a few fans at the car park gate, waiting to see one last glimpse of their idols. “What’s happening then?” Nathan asked me. I leaned against the car and smiled.

“Well, there are two options,” I started. Nathan moved closer to me. “Option one; you go back to the hotel with the lads and celebrate the tour. Then tomorrow you come round and we talk. Option two; we go back to the hotel, you grab your stuff and then we head back to mine.”

“And talk?” Nathan asked. He moved in even closer to me. Five years and he still had me breathless. I nodded in reply to his question. “Option two. I don’t want to miss a second with you.” He pressed his lips against mine. I could see the flashes of the fans’ cameras going off even with my eyes closed. Nathan ran his hands up my back as he pulled me completely against him. “I’m just going to go say hi to a few of the fans and then I’ll be back, okay?” Nathan asked me once we’d finished our kiss. I nodded. He slowly removed his arms from around me and went to see the fans standing by the gate. He was only about ten minutes before he sat himself in the passenger seat. I started the engine and pulled out of the car parking space. The fans stood out the way as the gates opened and I pulled out of the car park. It was a silent ten minute drive to the hotel. I waited downstairs outside the hotel while Nathan rushed up to his room, grabbed his stuff and came back down. He put it in the boot and climbed back into the passenger seat after apologising to the fans at the hotel to say he wasn’t stopping. Another silent half hour drive through town and when we arrived outside my house, it was still silent between us.

Nathan unstrapped Matty and lifted him out of his car seat while I lifted Nathan’s suitcase out of the boot and carried it into the house. Matty stirred and woke up slightly. He stayed awake long enough for Nathan to carry him up to his bedroom, get him changed into his pyjamas and into bed. Of course, before Matty could go to bed, he wanted his Toy Story DVD put on. It was only on for two minutes before he fell back to sleep. That was simple enough as I turned it straight off and closed his bedroom door. Nathan had made his way back downstairs while I was fussing with the DVD. I joined him on the sofa.

“You want anything to eat or drink?” I asked as I sat down. I didn’t want to make myself comfy unless Nathan asked me for something.

“Tea would be amazing,” he grinned at me. I stood up from the sofa and quickly made us a cup of tea each. I placed both mugs on the coffee table and settled myself into the sofa. Nathan moved closer towards me and leant me against him. He leant forward and picked his tea up. With his other arm, he wrapped it around me, resting his hand on my hip. “So,” he said as he rested his mug on his lap. “Where do we start?”

  Chapter 6

Nathan’s POV

Where did we start? The reason she left me? When she found out she was pregnant with Matty? What happened to me after she left? What happened to her after she’d left? Who started first? I was about to ask everything that came to my head when she cut in first.

“I wish I’d never given up,” she said. She looked into her lap at her hands. “I wish I’d never left you.” She looked up into my eyes. Hers were glossy and made her eyes actually look like the sea at this point. “When I found out I was pregnant, I wanted to come back. I wanted to drive back to London and be with you. I couldn’t. A bigger part of me couldn’t face the fans again. So I called Nicole and she helped me with a bunch of stuff. She helped me find this house and helped me move stuff in. She helped me with looking after Matty too, along with my dad.”

“How is your dad?” I asked. I didn’t want to be completely blunt and ask how her dad came back into her life. The last I knew, he was banned from seeing her.

“He’s divorced but happy.” Char smiled. I think she was glad her step-mum was out of her life now. For good. “I actually bumped into him like seconds after my water broke. He drove me to the hospital, was with me during my labour and has helped look after Matty at some points. Of course, my step-mum found out and went mental. That’s when my dad refused to be with her any longer.” She stopped talking for a minute or so. “She told him my half-sister isn’t his. So she’s nothing to me.” She smiled. I was silent. She looked like she needed to talk so I let her. I just sat there and listened. She talked about all of Matty’s childhood so far. His sleeping pattern. His first tooth. His first word. His first solid foods. His favourite solid foods. His favourite juice. His first steps. His first Christmas. His first birthday. His second Christmas. His second birthday. His favourite film. His favourite show. His favourite song which I was happy to hear it was one of our songs. His first broken bone which was his wrist from falling out of bed one night. His first pet which was a goldfish and lasted two weeks. His first bike which he got for his fourth birthday. By the time she finished going through the last four years of Matty’s life, it was nearing on half four in the morning. Char had probably only drank half of her tea and I’d drank probably only a bit more. We were now laying down on the sofa together. She was starting to drift off and so was I. I felt comfortable with her. I missed this. I missed us. I held her tightly against me until we both completely drifted off to sleep.

*

Charlotte’s POV

I felt a small prod on my shoulder. I ignored it not really thinking of what it could be. I felt it again. I shrugged it off and tried to go back to sleep. I fell asleep with my head on Nathan’s chest. I could feel him breathing beneath me and it put a smile on my face. I felt the prod in my shoulder again so opened my eyes to be met with Matty’s face.

“Mummy,” he whispered. “Can I have some breakfast please?” He grinned at me. I closed my eyes again only for Matty to prod me again after having them shut for a second.

“Okay, I’m up,” I whispered back and sat up on the sofa. Nathan stirred slightly but didn’t wake.

I climbed over the back of the sofa and made my way into the kitchen. Next I heard the TV blare out. Nathan let out a yell from it waking him up along with a “fucking hell!” Nathan joined me in the kitchen a few seconds later. I didn’t have a single clue as to what I was making Matty for breakfast. I placed my hands on the counter. Nathan wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed the bottom of my neck.

“Morning,” he mumbled into my neck between kisses. I turned around in his arms and wrapped my arms around his neck.

“Morning,” I repeated back. “Sleep alright?” I smirked at how Matty woke Nathan up.

Nathan pulled an unimpressed look on his face which made me smile like an idiot. “It was amazing. The way I was woken up was a bit of a shock.”

“Yeah, I heard,” I giggled. “Watch your language!” I chuckled and Nathan pulled me closer towards him. I started to kiss Nathan as Matty ran into the room. At this point, Nathan continued to kiss me. I felt Matty pull at the bottom of my top to get my attention.

“Mummy,” he asked as Nathan continued to kiss me. He waited a few seconds. “Mummy?” He asked again. “Can I have pancakes?” I pulled away from Nathan. He winked at me and kissed my cheek.

“I don’t know,” I smirked. “Can daddy make pancakes?” I turned to face Nathan. Nathan’s mouth fell open at this request. Matty looked up at him and pulled the puppy-dog face he used on me. Nathan looked down to Matty and saw this face being pulled. He was instantly smitten.

“Yeah I can, mate,” Nathan chuckled. He kissed me and then went over to the big cupboard. He opened it up to plates, bowls, cutlery, pots and pans and mixing bowls. I think he might have been thinking food would be in that cupboard. He pulled a mixing bowl, three plates and a frying pan out of the cupboard and put them on the side. I pulled out the flour, milk and eggs from the cupboard and fridge and placed them next to the mixing bowl. Nathan grinned at me and gave me a quick kiss as a thank you. I sat at the breakfast bar and Matty sat on the stool next to me. We watched as Nathan cooked us breakfast. He tried to start showing off to Matty and tried flipping the pancake; emphasis on ‘tried’. It ended up that the kitchen had bits of pancake all over it. Well at least Matty was impressed. As soon as Matty had finished his pile of pancakes, he said thank you, gave me a kiss on the cheek and ran off to watch TV. “Sorry,” Nathan apologised. “I’ve got batter everywhere.” I giggled at him.

“You clean up the hob and I’ll wash up if you like?” I offered. I stood up from the bar stool and made my way over to the sink, collecting the mixing bowl, plates and frying pan up as I did. I squirted fairy liquid into the bowl and ran the hot water tap. I felt Nathan snake his arms around my waist and his lips attach themselves to the back of my neck. The washing up bowl filled up so I turned the tap off. Nathan kissed up the side of my neck, sending shivers up my spine. I turned around to face him and kissed him, tugging on his bottom lip with my teeth. He pulled me into him so our hips were together and our chests were pressed together. That’s when the doorbell rang and I heard footsteps in the hallway.

“Hey, cutie,” I heard Nicole chime as I’m guessing she saw Matty in the living room. “Where’s your mom?”

“Kitchen,” Matty said. “Uncle Niall!” He said with a bit more enthusiasm. I heard more footsteps and the kitchen door swung open. “Char?” Nicole asked. I looked round Nathan to see her face. She had a look of pure shock on her face. I blushed and buried my face into Nathan’s neck. I heard Nathan chuckle in my ear and turn his head to face Nicole. Nicole gasped from seeing Nathan. “Nathan? What’s going on?” I pulled away from Nathan and walked over to Nicole. I pulled her in for a hug.

“I kind of bumped into Nathan yesterday at the park,” I said as I pulled away from her. I shuffled my feet and didn’t look her in the eyes. “Then we went to their gig and Nathan came back here after and talked.”

“Talked? About?”

“Everything,” Nathan chipped in.

“Everything, your everything; or everything, Char’s everything?” Nicole asked, her eyes kept flicking between the two of us.

“My everything,” I said and smiled at Nicole. “Could I ask you for a favour today?” I smiled sweetly at her.

“What favour?” She chuckled. She cocked an eyebrow at me.

“Could you possibly look after Matty today?” I stuck my bottom lip out at her. She rolled her eyes at me. “Please?” I whined. After a few seconds of raising her eyebrows at me and flicked her eyes between Nathan and me, she agreed. “Thank you, Nic.” I gave her another hug. “Matty!” I yelled. I got him showered and dressed, brushed his teeth and downstairs again for Niall and Nicole to take him out for the day. I gave Niall a hug as I came back downstairs.

“We’ll look after Matty for you for as long as you need,” Niall whispered in my ear. I mouthed ‘thank you’ to him as I pulled away. “Come on, dude,” Niall said as he turned to Matty. “We’re going to have fun today.”

“With you, uncle Niall?” Matty asked. He wrinkled his nose up. Niall nodded. “We won’t have fun then, will we, aunty Nicole!” Nicole laughed at this. Matty did come out with some brilliant lines sometimes. Niall picked Matty up and held him upside down in his arms. We all laughed and Matty giggled as Niall took him out to his car. “Bye, mummy,” Matty called. Niall put Matty down by the car and opened the car door for him. However, Matty decided he’d run back over to us and wrapped his arms around Nathan’s legs. “Bye, daddy,” he said. “Will you be here when I get back?” Matty looked up to Nathan, who looked at me.

“Not sure, buddy. Hopefully I will be, but I can’t promise anything.” Nathan bent down so he was eye level with Matty.

“Oh, okay.” Matty wrapped his arms around Nathan’s neck and kissed his cheek. “I want you to be here.” I saw Nathan tighten his arms around Matty. Niall called Matty back over to the car and they drove off.

  Chapter 7

Nathan’s POV

“Are we waiting around for you to get back to the hotel and travel back with us?” Siva asked down the phone.

“Nah, I’ll make my own way back,” I replied. “Cheers, though.”

“No problem, Nathan. See you in a few days,” Siva said and hung the phone up.

I chucked my phone onto the coffee table and relaxed back into the sofa. Char was upstairs having a shower. My mind kept flicking to the thought of her showering. I tried to think of everything else but as soon as she said those seven words, “I’m going to go take a shower,” I couldn’t think of anything but her wet, naked body. I sat trying to distract myself for a few minutes before I couldn’t help myself. I nearly ran up the stairs and into her room. I heard the shower in the en-suite still going. I quickly slipped my clothes off and slid into the en-suite. I opened the shower door and stepped in as she turned around.

“What are you doing in here?” She giggled as she asked the question. I took in how beautiful she looked. She looked hardly any different. Not that I cared about how she looked. As long as a smile was on her face, she was the most amazing girl in my life. I grinned as I moved closer towards her. I took her face in my hands and kissed her. She moved her body closer to me, putting her hands around my waist. I moved my hands down her body, feeling all of her before lightly running my hands between her legs. I slid two fingers in and she whimpered my name. I lightly pushed her against the wall and kissed her again. She moaned into my mouth as my fingers moved in and out of her. I felt her fingers wrap themselves around my erection. She moved her hand in the same rhythm as I moved my fingers; down as I went in, up as I went out. My breathing became faster. I could tell she noticed as she slowed down, painfully slow. Her hand became out of sync and I knew I was hitting the right spot. At that point she cried out, “fuck, Nathan!” and I knew I was doing it right. She tightened around my fingers and I smirked as I kissed her neck. She breathed heavily into my ear as I lifted her up and slid myself into her. Her back arched against the shower wall as I thrusted into her.

Charlotte’s POV

This felt amazing! It was like we’d never had any time apart from each other. Every time he thrusted himself into me, I remembered times before that we’d made love. I tangled my fingers in his hair and he pulled me into him more. I felt him hit my g-spot again and curled into him as I reached the peak of another orgasm. He thrust another couple of times before he came inside of me. We both rested against each other against the wall to regain our breath. I lifted his head off my chest and kissed him. How could I have left him when he meant everything to me?

I climbed out of the shower a couple of minutes later and left Nathan to shower. I wrapped a towel around me and made my way out into my bedroom and towards my dressing table. I sat down on the stool and looked in the mirror. I had a massive grin on my face and couldn’t wipe it off. I rested my head in my hands and tried to wipe the grin off my face but I couldn’t. It was stuck there for the rest of my life, I swear. I heard the shower stop running after a couple of minutes and saw Nathan walk out of the en-suite with a towel wrapped around him. I let out a sigh and the grin grew even wider. I giggled and rested my head in my arms on the dressing table. Nathan chuckled at me and rubbed his thumbs on my shoulders; massaging them and making me feel relaxed.

“That feels amazing,” I sighed as Nathan continued to rub my shoulders. He lowered his head to my neck and started to kiss. I turned around on my stool to face him. I pulled his towel to the floor and took his cock in my hand. He groaned at my touch. I gently pulled on it to indicate for him to stand up. Perfect height. I smirked as I looked up at him and licked the tip of his cock. He rested a hand on my shoulder but it was tensed. I took his head in my mouth and began to move my mouth up and down his cock. I felt him grow harder and his nails dug into my shoulder. His other hand ran through my damp hair. After a couple of minutes, he came in my mouth, bucking his hips towards me as he came. I smiled as I licked up and swallowed all of him. He pulled me up from the stool and removed my towel. I giggled as he picked me up and put me on the bed. He pulled me to the edge of the bed and spread my legs apart. He dove straight in, sending my body crazy. I was done within a couple of minutes. I laid on the bed, out of breath and satisfied. Nathan laid next to me and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest.

“I’ve missed us,” Nathan whispered into my hair. “I’ve missed you so much.” I placed my head in the crook of his neck. I breathed in. He smelt so good. Well, he smelt clean but he smelt so good. He planted a kiss on the top of my head.

“I missed you too,” I murmured into his neck. We laid on the bed together for the whole morning. We talked about the little things. I found out Nathan still had Teddy, the house, and the car I bought him for his 19th. He nervously asked if there were any guys that had come into my life. I scared him at first.

“So,” he asked nervously. “Have you ... have you, erm ... seen anyone else ... erm ... since you had Matty?” He didn’t make eye contact with me.

“Well, there’s this guy I’ve been seeing recently,” I started. I held the giggles back as Nathan looked petrified. “He’s actually supposed to be taking me out tonight.” I looked over to the clock.

“Shit, really?” Nathan asked. He started to crawl out of the bed before I stopped him.

“I’m kidding, Nath,” I chuckled. He narrowed his eyes at me before he let a smirk take over his face. “There’s been no one else.”

We then moved on to girls he had dated. He opened up completely about everything. He told me how he couldn’t take anyone home; he had to go to theirs because he saw the house as our house. That brought on an awkward question.

“Do you think you’ll move into the house?” Nathan asked. I bit my lip and threw myself back onto the pillows. I knew Matty would want to move in there straight away. He’d love all the room he had there. I didn’t exactly go all out when I moved into the house we were in now. It was a 3 bedroom, detached house. The en-suite in my room was made up of a sink and shower. Matty’s room was big enough for his bed, a wardrobe, small chest of drawers and enough room on the floor for his Scalletrix. The garden was tiny too. Matty hated the garden which was why we were constantly at the park. Downstairs was the kitchen and the living room. The third bedroom was tiny so we used that as the toy room.

“I think at some point,” I said. I didn’t want to look at him. I hated seeing a disappointed Nathan. “I don’t know when. I mean, it’s not just me to think about anymore. I can’t just uproot my life. I have ... we both have Matty to think about.”

“Come and stay with me for the week,” Nathan suggested.

“What?” I spluttered. I sat up properly in bed.

“You and Matty, come to London and stay with me in the house for a week. We have two weeks off now.” Nathan started to have a smile appear on his face although I could see he was trying to hold it back.

“I don’t know, Nath,” I mumbled. “Would that be a good idea?” Nathan shuffled closer to me. He placed his hand on my cheek and rubbed his thumb across it.

“I would really love it if you could,” he whispered. He brought his head closer to mine and gently placed his lips on mine. “Or, if you want, I could stay here for a week.” I nibbled my top lip as I thought about it.

“Let’s go to yours,” I finally gave in. “We don’t want to leave Teddy in the care of Liam for longer than necessary, do we?” Nathan grinned and pulled me into him.

  Chapter 8

Charlotte’s POV

“Thanks Nic for looking after him today,” I smiled as I hugged her.

“No problem,” Nicole chuckled. “Did you “talk” about everything?” She smirked. I blushed which pretty much told her that we did more than talking. Nicole laughed which caused me to blush even more.

“Mummy?” Matty asked, running into the hallway from the living room. He stopped at my feet. “Are we going to stay with daddy for a week?” He was bouncing on his toes from excitement. Nathan and Niall appeared at the living room door.

“You told him?” I asked Nathan. Nathan swung himself around the doorway so he was hiding himself in the living room. I chuckled as I looked down to Matty. “Yeah, we are.”

“When?” Matty was still bouncing on his toes.

“Nath?” I asked. Nathan popped his head round the door again. “You going to answer this question?”

“Tonight, buddy,” Nathan smiled and joined us in the hallway. Matty jumped in his arms. Nathan laughed at how excited Matty was as he hugged him. He placed him back on the floor and Matty ran up to his room. “Tonight’s alright, isn’t it?” Nathan asked me. He wrapped his arm around my waist. I nodded and hummed in agreement.

“This is so weird,” Nicole said, still standing in front of me. Her eyes went wide as she realised she said it out loud. “Sorry,” she blushed. “But four and a half years and then you’re together acting like nothing’s happened. It just feels weird when we’ve watched Matty grow up.”

I knew what she meant. The fact that Nathan didn’t really have to adjust at all to how he behaved around Matty was incredible, like he’d been doing it for a while already. I then remembered that Max and Shell had Connor who was Matty’s age and if Max hadn’t changed, he would be taking Connor wherever he went.

Nathan’s POV                                                                       

It was weird to suddenly be like we used to be. I didn’t really have to change much around Matty because I was so used to Connor and Lucas being around. But wasn’t it better to be like we used to be rather than to have a load of awkwardness between us? Niall and Nicole left. I helped Matty pack some stuff to take to mine while Char packed her own stuff. Matty and I had finished packing his stuff for the week while Char had probably only packed about a third of her stuff.

“Why don’t you go and watch TV for a bit, yeah?” I suggested to Matty who nodded and made his way downstairs. I heard the start up of Finding Nemo start on the TV. “Char?” I asked as I went into Char’s room. She looked up from her suitcase. She looked a bit dazed. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” she sighed and put a top in her suitcase. I went up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. “Are we doing this too fast?” She asked. I pulled away from her slightly and she turned to face me. “Like, I mean,” she stopped and sighed again. She sat down on the bed next to her suitcase and I knelt down in front of her. “You only met him yesterday and you only saw me again yesterday. Do you think we should be diving into this head first?”

I shrugged my shoulders and pulled a face to say “I don’t know.” Char chuckled softly and looked down at me. “I don’t know of anyone who’s been in this situation before so we’ll just have to guess.” I rubbed my thumb across her cheek and a smile developed on her face. “But I say, dive head first and try like hell to swim.” She bit her lip which made me smile. I winked at her and stood up. “Come on, let’s get packing.” I pulled Char up from the bed and kissed her forehead. I left her to continue packing as I joined Matty to watch Finding Nemo downstairs.

Char came down after fifteen minutes. “Ready?” She asked Matty who was too engrossed in the film to realise that I was even in the room. Char laughed and put her hands on Matty’s shoulders. “Come on, Mattster,” she chuckled. He jerked out of his daze from watching Finding Nemo and jumped off the sofa. He switched the DVD player and the TV off and headed out into the hallway. I climbed off the sofa and joined both Char and Matty out in the hallway. I slipped my high tops on and helped Matty with his shoes. He insisted on wearing the Supras again. Within ten minutes, we were on our way to my house. Well, our house.

I texted Liam as we pulled up the drive to let him know that I was home. He texted back before Char had parked the car. Char helped Matty out of the car while I lifted Char’s suitcase and Matty’s bag out of the boot. I carried them inside and placed them in the hallway. Matty stepped into the hallway with his jaw dragging along the floor. He looked around the big hallway and couldn’t help but bounce on his toes. I’m just going to take that as a sign that he’s excited in future. He started to look between me and Char. I looked over to Char and I saw her eyes gloss over.

Charlotte’s POV

Everything was like it was five years ago. All that was missing was a little Teddy puppy running around trying to see everybody. I wandered around the house while Nathan took Matty upstairs. I walked around the living room, the dining room, and then the kitchen. I then made my way upstairs and looked around Matty’s room (or the bedroom I’m guessing Connor or Lucas stay in). I then looked around the other two spare bedrooms. The bigger one connected to Matty’s room, via the bathroom, had Nathan’s piano and my acoustic guitar in it. Jay’s drum kit was in the smaller spare room. I made my way up into the loft which hadn’t changed. I then made my way to the master bedroom. I opened the door and the carpet from the flat welcomed my feet. I fell to my knees and then curled up on the floor, running my fingers through the carpet. He bought the same carpet as the one in our bedroom in the flat. Why would he buy the same carpet? I just laid there, stroking the carpet. I could hear Matty and Nathan faintly talking in Matty’s room. I sighed and smiled into the carpet, thinking everything will be okay.

  Chapter 9

Charlotte’s POV

I was still smiling into the carpet half an hour later when I heard the doorbell go. I pushed myself off the floor and yelled, “I’ll get it!” I heard Matty and Nathan in one of the spare rooms on the piano. I rushed down the stairs and pulled the front door open. My heart leapt out of my chest. Liam and Harry were standing at the front door. I didn’t know how to react so my body went into natural reaction mode and my jaw dropped to the floor. Harry stared with the same reaction back. I felt something brush past me but I didn’t even think of who it was. I hadn’t seen Harry since the night that we kissed on stage for the Capital FM Summertime Ball, five years ago. Liam moved slightly which took my attention off of Harry. Liam was also shocked to see me but not as shocked as Harry. “Hey, Liam,” I grinned and hugged Liam.

“What?” was all Liam could come out with. “Why are you here?” He asked questioningly. “I thought you disappeared.” I bit my lip and shook my head.

“It’s a long story,” I said and shrugged it off. “To cut it short, Nathan and I have a son, Nicole and Niall have helped me in raising him, I met Nathan yesterday and we’re trying to make things work.”

“You and Nathan have a kid?” Harry asked. I turned back to face Harry and nodded. Without saying anything else, Harry walked off. He headed straight down the drive and didn’t even turn back. I looked to Liam who shrugged. I didn’t know what I was doing but I ran after Harry. I yelled his name but he didn’t turn around to face me. I eventually caught up with him and grabbed his arm to stop him walking. “Get off of me, Char!” He said in disgust.

“What is your problem?” I asked, out of breath. I leant against the wall of someone’s back garden. I had a searing pain in my chest from running so fast. I sat down on the floor and clutched my side where a stitch was developing. Harry hovered for a minute or so while I recovered from running. He then slid down the wall and sat next to me.

“You’ve had a kid with Nathan,” Harry said. I turned my head to face him. “You used to go on to me about not wanting to settle down with me and then you go and get pregnant with Nathan’s kid.” Harry sighed and buried his head in his hands.

“I didn’t plan it,” I said in a lower volume. “I fell pregnant before I left him but didn’t find out until like a month after I left.” I sighed. “It was completely unplanned. I couldn’t go through with an abortion. I thought about it but couldn’t do it. I could never kill something.”

“I was terrified when I heard you’d left,” Harry admitted. “And then when no one heard from you for a few weeks, I was worried what had actually happened to you. I even travelled around the UK trying to see if I’d see you again. It was easier when the group split up.”

I knew One Direction had split up. Just after The Wanted got back together after their break, the 1D lads started having arguments as Zayn wanted to be around his family as Gabby was expecting another baby, Louis wanted to start a family with Eleanor, Liam and Danielle were getting married whereas Niall and Harry weren’t too bothered with what happened. Niall in fact created a new band and they had an indie sound to their music. Everyone had made enough money to settle on for a good few years. I’d heard Harry had disappeared for a year or so.

“It was better if no one knew where’d I’d gone to,” I said. I didn’t completely understand why I thought that; it just felt better for no one to know. “If the fans saw where the guys were going and they saw it was my house, I’d get all the shit I used to have when I was with Nathan.” My mind flicked back to how shit I felt when the fans used to send me hate; how those girls spoke to me in the club in Ibiza.

“I can’t believe the Directioners and the Wanted fans treated you like that,” Harry said with a hint of disgust in his voice. His fists were in balls on his knees and he’d raised his head, turning it to face me. “They should never have made you feel like that.”

“Harry, it was a little bit your fault,” I said. I tried to make it sound like I was having a laugh about it but it came out a bit harsher. Harry pulled his eyebrows together. “Look, it was my fault as well but if that kiss hadn’t happened, none of this would be like this. You’d be with Nicole. I’d have been with Nathan, probably married to him. We’d have had Matty together. Everything would have been better.”

“Married to him?” Harry asked. The guilt flowed back into me. I bit my lip and looked onto the road.

“The day I left, Nathan was going to propose to me.” I felt so guilty about it. I really hope this feeling would go away at some point.

“And you’d say yes?” Harry asked. I could feel him being judgmental about it. I looked at Harry again. I nodded and looked down at the ground between us. “We even had a talk about it Charlotte! You were all about not wanting to settle down yet and how you didn’t want to move in together. What do you do within about three or four months of being with Nathan? You start looking for places together. Within six months you’ve moved in together. Less than a year, you would’ve been engaged. Yet, you didn’t even want to think about moving in with me within the seven months or so we were together.”

“Things are different, were different with Nathan, Harry,” I said and pushed myself up on to my feet.

“How were they any different?” Harry asked. A spiteful tone present in his voice. He raised himself on to his feet too and stood in front of me. He was taller than I remember.

“We’d lived together for over a year before we thought about getting our own place,” I argued. “Okay, we weren’t together for all that time but at least I knew what he was like to live with. And I would’ve said yes to him because we’d known each other for a year and a half at least. He’s also the love of my life, Harry.”

Harry looked taken back by this comment. “The love of your life? Was I not a love of your life?”

“Harry, look I did love you but I fell for him before you.” Harry looked hurt by this.

“So you still decided to start dating me even though you knew you loved Nathan?”

“I thought nothing was going to happen with Nathan; I honestly thought that would be a lost cause. Then I met you and I’d never felt so good about my-... I’m not having this argument again.” I stormed off in the direction of Nathan’s. I heard Harry rush behind me and then he was standing in front of me to stop me from walking. “Harry. I’m done with this conversation.”

“No!” Harry said, his voice rose in volume slightly. “You chased after me; we are having a talk whether you like it or not.”

“I’m done,” I said and pushed past him. He grabbed my wrist and turned me around, keeping a tight grip on my wrist. “Harry, let go of me.” I looked up to him and stared into his eyes. A hard stare. “Let. Go. Of. My. Wrist. Harry.”

“Not until we talk.”

“I don’t have anything else to say to you,” I growled. He tightened his grip on my wrist. “Please Harry,” I whimpered.

Harry immediately let go of my wrist and I made my way back to Nathan’s. I looked at my wrist and it was red from where Harry had grabbed it. There were small indentations where his fingernails had slightly dug into my skin. Nathan had invited Liam into the house and they were in the kitchen, chatting over a cup of tea. I let the front door close and rushed up to the master bedroom. I curled myself up in the corner on the floor. I shouldn’t have chased after Harry. I only cared about him because he looked shocked and upset. I wanted to make sure he was alright. I should have made Liam go.

I felt a wetness meet my cheeks. I opened my eyes to see a fully grown border collie laying down next to me. My mood was lifted. I sat up and Teddy wagged his tail. He got excited and padded his front paws on my lap with excitement. I buried my face in his fur. He’d grown so much. He was only a pup when I left. He sat down with his paws still on my lap. I kissed his head several times.

“Char?” Nathan asked as he came in through the door. I looked up to him from behind Teddy. Nathan chuckled at the sight of me. Teddy turned his head to face Nathan and let his tongue flop out of his mouth. “I know, Ted,” Nathan smiled. “Mummy’s come home.” I kissed Teddy’s neck and stood up from the floor. “Where did you disappear to?” Nathan asked. He played with the door handle to distract himself.

“Harry came with Liam and he looked a bit shocked and ran off so I went to see if he was alright,” I mumbled. Nathan raised his eyebrows, still making eye contact with nothing but the door handle. “I know I should have let Liam go and make sure he was okay. I didn’t think.” I stood next to Nathan and put my hands on his chest. Nathan looked up from the door handle. He met my eyes.

Nathan’s POV              

She went off after Harry. I know she said it was only because he looked so shocked to see her there but she went off to make sure he was alright. I know I shouldn’t be thinking of this but I guess I’m always going to be insecure about her feelings for him. I wish I wasn’t. Liam left as soon as Char had come back in. He went off to find Harry. Char placed her hands on my chest and I looked away from the door handle and met her eyes. They looked a bit grey today. I felt her body under my hands, not realising that I’d wrapped my arms around her. She pushed herself onto her toes lightly and kissed my cheek.

“I love you and nothing’s going to change that,” she whispered. “No ex-boyfriends, no fans, nothing.” I kissed her forehead. “How was Matty with Teddy?” She asked me, pulling away slightly so she could see my face. I smiled.

“I don’t think they’ve properly met each other yet,” I said. I clicked for Teddy to come to my side and he sat down by my feet. Char pulled completely away from me and went out onto the landing and called Matty to her.

  Chapter 10

Charlotte’s POV

I knelt down so I was eye level with Matty. “Right, you’re going to meet Teddy,” I smiled at Matty. He looked a bit confused. “He’s mine and daddy’s dog that we had before you were born.” Matty looked a little scared now. He wasn’t exactly the best kid around dogs; he has always been a little scared of them since he was about two when one barked at him and scared him. I saw Matty’s pupils widen and his breathing started to shorten and become quicker. “Hey,” I said in a soothing voice. I pulled Matty on to my lap and rubbed his back. “Calm down. He’s not a harmful dog. He’s sweet and lovely.” Matty didn’t calm down though. “If you don’t want to meet him, we can go downstairs and put a film on if you want. Or daddy can show you how to play the piano again?”

Matty sat on my lap and thought about this for a while. “Are you sure he won’t bite me?” He asked after several seconds of thinking about it.

“Definitely,” I said and grinned at Matty. “Daddy will keep a hold of him if you want.” Matty nibbled on the inside of his cheek. “Or we could go into daddy’s bedroom and you can go to him in your own time?” Matty nodded. “Alright, wait here a second.” Matty stood up from my lap and I made my way into the bedroom. “Matty’s a bit scared of dogs,” I said to Nathan. Nathan started to chuckle. “This isn’t a laughing matter, Nath!”

“I’m sorry,” Nathan coughed, trying to get rid of the laughter.

“Sit on the floor with Teddy so that Matty can come in here at his own pace,” I ordered. Nathan smirked.

“I like you like this,” he said in a hushed voice. I winked at him and left the room.

“Come and meet Teddy then,” I said to Matty and took his hand.

I opened the bedroom door to see Nathan now on the floor with Teddy laying down beside him. Teddy’s head was immediately up and his tail was wagging as he saw me and Matty come back into the room. Matty slowly made his way over to Nathan and Teddy. He stood the other side of Nathan and looked down at Teddy. Teddy’s tail was wagging with excitement still. I knelt down on the floor opposite Nathan. Matty came and sat on my lap as soon as I’d knelt down. He stared at Teddy. I think Teddy felt Matty’s nervousness and calmed down. He slowly crept on his belly towards me and Matty. I felt Matty tense up as Teddy crawled closer.

“Mattster,” I whispered in his ear. “Relax. He’s not going to hurt you. Look, he knows your scared so is lowering himself to make you feel better.” I felt Matty relax slightly. I put my hand out and Teddy stood up on his feet and licked my hand. I scratched behind his ear and he sat down in front of us. Matty was pushing himself into me. Teddy started to lick my arm as I scratched behind his ear. Matty relaxed a bit more and stretched his hand out to Teddy. I looked to Nathan and he smiled at me. Matty stroked the fur on top of Teddy’s head. Teddy stopped licking my arm and moved his head more towards Matty’s arm. Matty jerked his hand away. “He was only going to lick you,” I chuckled as I wrapped my arms around Matty. Nathan shuffled closer to us and ruffled Teddy’s fur on his head. Teddy collapsed on the floor to have his belly rubbed. Nathan started rubbing his belly. Matty inched closer to Teddy and started to rub his belly too. Matty became more relaxed and was giggling and cuddling Teddy in no time.

After dinner and putting Matty to bed, Nathan and I sank into the sofa downstairs. I had a glass of wine and Nathan had a beer. Nathan wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into him. I sipped my wine and rested my head on his chest. Today was hectic but it was the best start we could have. Well, apart from the whole Harry thing. I finished off my glass of wine and placed the glass on the coffee table. I nuzzled my face into Nathan’s chest and breathed in his scent. I smiled. I felt him chuckle against my cheek. I traced my fingers up and down his chest. He started to lightly run his fingertips up and down my back. I drifted off in his arms, waking up the next morning in his bed. I was changed into pyjamas. I was so confused as to how I got upstairs and how I changed and why Nathan wasn’t in bed next to me. I climbed out of bed and made my way downstairs. The TV was on in the living room. It was very faint but still audible. Nathan was asleep on the sofa. I switched the TV off and grabbed the blanket from the other sofa. I laid down with him and pulled the blanket over us. His hands grabbed onto me and pulled me into him. I giggled and rested my head on his chest.

“I love it when you giggle,” Nathan murmured as he woke up. He tightened his arms around me before he stretched them above his head. “What should we do today?” He asked. I shrugged my shoulders.

“I think we should ask Matty, shouldn’t we?” I asked and kissed Nathan’s chin. His stubble was starting to make its way through his skin. He was lucky that his facial hair grew quite slowly so he could miss a day of shaving. Nathan pulled me further up the sofa so that he could kiss me.

“What are you doing?” Matty asked appearing at the end of the sofa. He made me jump.

“I’m kissing mummy,” Nathan smiled at me as he answered Matty’s question.

“But why?” Matty asked. Nathan chuckled and then put his head closer to mine again.

“Because I love her,” he said. He kissed me again until Matty jumped on top of both of us and started to kiss my cheeks repeatedly.

“I love you too, mummy,” Matty giggled as he kissed my cheek. I grabbed Matty around his waist and fitted him into the gap between me and Nathan. I winked at Nathan and we both started to tickle him. I rolled off the sofa after a few seconds and headed for the kitchen. I stuck the kettle on and hunted around for cereal.

*

Nathan drove us to the sea life centre. Matty’s eyes were wide throughout the whole car journey. As soon as we stepped in the sea life centre, he was bouncing on his toes. Around the whole centre, Nathan made me feel like the person I used to be before I had Matty, before I left. He would put his hand lightly on the bottom on my neck and lightly stroke my neck with his fingertips. He would also nuzzle his nose in the spot by my ear. There was never a moment where we weren’t touching.

One of the members of staff recognised Nathan and came over to us. “Hi, Nathan,” she grinned. “Can I have a picture with you?” She held up her phone.

“Yeah, sure, babe,” Nathan grinned and took her phone out of her hand. He handed it to me and I took the picture of the two of them.

“Thank you so much,” she squealed. “Erm, I talked to my manager and we can let you, your son and Char feed the penguins, if you like.” Matty’s head jerked in the direction of us when he heard the word penguins. He stood in front of Nathan and grinned at the girl. “Would you like to feed the penguins?” She knelt down so that she was eye level with you. Matty nodded his head with the biggest grin on his face. The girl looked up to me and Nathan.

“It’s not too much hassle, is it?” Nathan asked.

“Not at all,” the girl smiled. “Follow me.” She led us through the centre to the penguin area. The usual customers had to view the penguins from underwater but we were taken through a staff only door and up to their little habitat place. The girl picked up a bucket of fish and took Matty’s hand as we entered the penguins’ home. “Now, don’t be scared if they come up to you. Just hold the fish like this,” the girl started to explain and held the fish’s tail in between her fingers so that the rest of the fish was hanging limply. “And they won’t accidentally get your fingers, okay?” She opened the gate and all the penguins started to come towards us. I slipped my phone out of my pocket and opened the camera. I set it to video with the function to take pictures as it was recording. I pressed the record button and started to film Matty feed the penguins. He loved every second of it.

*

“How was your day at the sea life centre today, Mattster?” I asked him on the drive back home. He grinned at me and held up his turtle cuddle toy.

“I loved it,” he continued to grin. “Thank you mummy, thank you daddy.”

“You’re welcome,” I smiled and turned around in the car seat to face the way the car was going. I looked over at Nathan who had a tear run down his cheek. He wiped it away quickly, thinking I hadn’t noticed it.

Nathan’s POV

It really made me overwhelmed whenever he called me dad or daddy. I know it shouldn’t be this easy to have everything just fall like this into place but it felt so natural, how could it not fit into place? I felt a tear run down my cheek and wiped it away before either Char or Matty could see it. I pulled up on the driveway and turned the engine off. I helped Matty out of the car and locked it. As we walked up to the front door, I rested my arm around Char’s shoulders. I unlocked the door and let us all in. I picked up the Domino’s menu and dialled the number on the front.

“What pizza should we get?” I asked Char.

“The usual,” she casually said to me as if I’d remember what we used to order. Of course I remember; Texas BBQ Chicken and a Meat Feast. The guy the other end of the line told me they’d be at my house in 45-50 minutes. Char had left Matty in front of the TV in the living room and I watched her, from the kitchen window, play with Teddy in the back garden. I’d never seen him so excited to see a person. He truly did miss her. He was continuously licking her face. The pizzas arrived and I knocked on the window to let Char know they’d arrived. I set them down on the coffee table and told Matty to dig in. Char came in with Teddy close on her ankles and she sat down next to me. She reminded me of a little kid. She was all giggly and happy. Teddy lay down next to her with his chin on her thigh. She leant over and took a slice of pizza, polishing it off within a few seconds.

“Mummy’s gone into silly mode,” Matty giggled from across the coffee table. He’d obviously noticed my confused expression at her giggling. “She’ll be like this until she goes to sleep.” He seemed to brush Char’s behaviour off and continue eating pizza and watching TV.

Char turned to face me and smiled. “I’m like this because I’m happy,” she grinned and took another bite of pizza. She polished that slice off quickly too. She leant against the sofa and sighed before being set off into a new set of giggles. I grinned and dove onto her, lightly tickling her sides which sent her into a different wave of giggles. Matty’s attention was taken away from the TV and he giggled as he saw Char wriggling under my hands. He crawled over and joined in with tickling her. I winked at Char and we both attacked Matty with our fingers. He was a giggling mess on the living room floor as we tickled him. “I think we should get daddy now,” Char grinned mischievously at me. Matty nodded his head.

“No,” I nervously laughed. “No, Char, you know ...” Char crawled towards me as I crawled backwards away from her. Why I didn’t get up onto my feet and run, I don’t know. “No, Char, don’t you dare.” Too late, she had straddled herself on my lap and was tickling me. Matty rushed over and joined in. I could hardly breathe as they tickled me. “Char, I can’t breathe,” I tried to say as I tried to gulp in mouthfuls of air. Char’s eyes widened in panic. She immediately climbed off my lap and went off to find my inhaler. She came back with it in her hand, already shaken, so I placed the end in my mouth and pressed the pump. Three pumps later and I was fine again.

“I’m sorry,” she giggled. “I forgot about your asthma.” I sat up and pulled her on to my lap. I shrugged.

“I’m fine now,” I grinned. I stroked her cheek and ran my fingers into her hair, pulling her down to my lips. She kissed me hungrily. “What time is it?” I asked, lifting my left wrist to look at my watch. I noticed it was half eight. “What time does Matty go to bed?” I asked, stroking Char’s hair.

“Eight o’clock,” she smiled and bit her lip. She then caught on to what I was indicating. She climbed off my lap and got off the floor. “Come on, Mattster, time for bed.” She picked Matty up off the floor where he’d been watching me having difficulty breathing.

“Can daddy put me to bed?” He asked outside in the hallway. I heard it loud and clear and shouted that I’d be up in a minute. I just needed to cool down a bit before I stood up.

  Chapter 11

Nathan’s POV

I switched the TV off and turned the lights off downstairs. I made sure the front and back doors were both locked and shut Teddy in his room by the kitchen. I walked up the stairs and headed into Matty’s room. I read him a quick story and tucked him in, kissing his forehead before saying goodnight. He insisted on a film to go to sleep to, so I stuck Oliver & Company in the DVD player. I put the TV on sleep 90 and shut the door to his bedroom.

I made my way into my bedroom to find Char on the bed in just her underwear. She knelt at the end of the bed when she saw me come into the room and beckoned me over to her. She grabbed a fistful of my top and pulled me into her. She kissed me like she had only 15 minutes beforehand and she let my hands roam all over her. Her hands ran all over me, feeling every piece of skin she could touch. She pulled my top off of me and unbuckled my jeans. She pulled my jeans down and I stepped out of them. Her hands ran through my hair. I was running my hands down her body and over her panties. I noticed she hadn’t touched anywhere near my underwear apart from when she undid my jeans and pulled them down. This was making me want her more. I took a hold of her hands and ran them down my chest, leaving them to rest on the waist band of my boxers. She ran her hands back up my chest and lightly grinded her crotch onto mine. I groaned as she kissed me. She grinded a little harder and slower. She moaned a little into my mouth. I could feel her wetness from her panties soak through my boxers.

I hooked my fingers into her panties and pulled them down, revealing how wet she actually was. I ran my fingers from her opening up to her clit, rolling it between my finger and thumb. She moaned and bit her lip as she hooked her fingers into my boxers and pulled them down my legs. I pushed my fingers into her as her hand wrapped around my shaft. Her grip tightened as I pushed my fingers deep into her. Her hips started to rock back and forth as I entered my fingers into her and then pulled them out. She started to pump my dick in her hand, kissing my neck and chest as she did. With my free hand, I picked her up around the waist and leant her back on the bed, making her legs dangle off the bed. She groaned as I continued to slowly push my fingers into her and as she continued to move her hand up and down my shaft. I peeled her hand away and took my fingers out of her to push myself into her. She dug her fingernails into my arm while I pushed myself deep into her. She wrapped her legs around my waist, pulling me into her more. This went on until we’d both been completely satisfied; her at least four times, me the once.

I laid down next to her on the bed. She still had her eyes closed and was trying to control her breathing. I decided I’d be mean and tease her to keep her breathing shallow. I kissed her neck while I lightly traced my fingers along the top of her crotch. She moaned, wanting me to go further down. I traced my fingers around her outer lips. She moaned and ran her hand through my hair. I slowly moved my fingers to her opening where her legs automatically spread a little. I chuckled against her neck and rubbed my middle finger around her opening. Her moans were sounding more frustrated the slower I did this. “You want me to go in?” I asked in a hushed tone. She pulled her eyebrows together, eyes still tightly shut, and nodded, letting out a groan. I chuckled and slightly pushed my finger in. She moaned and a smile took over her face. I slid another finger in and she moaned more. She was being quite loud and I was sure Matty would hear her and come running in. If I was looking after Connor at all, I would have to be silent when having a wank. “Won’t Matty come in if you’re too loud?” I whispered, sliding my fingers in and out of her still.

Char shook her head. “He knows when mummy is visiting her special place then he doesn’t disturb her unless it’s an emergency,” she explained. I slid another finger into her and rubbed my thumb on her clit which sent her over the edge and had her moaning my name repeatedly. I kissed her and let her catch her breath this time. We didn’t actually get to sleep until the early hours of the morning.

*

We were both woken up by Char’s phone ringing from her jeans pocket in the corner of the room. She groaned, rolled out of bed and crawled over to her phone. She answered it as she collapsed onto the floor. I fell straight back to sleep. She woke me up half an hour later. “Nathan,” she whispered and lightly shook me. I opened my eyes slightly and wrapped my arms around her waist to pull her down on to the bed. She giggled softly and kissed me. “I’ve got to go back to Cambridge,” she whispered.

“What?” I asked, sitting up properly.

“I’ll be back tonight but my dad needs me because he’s broken his leg and they won’t let him leave the hospital until someone’s picked him up to take him home.” She sighed. “Stupid dad,” she laughed. “I’m sorry.” She kissed me again. I pulled her on to my lap and hugged her, leaving kisses on her shoulder.

“I’ll look after Matty for the day,” I offered. “I’ll take him to Max’s or something.” She mouthed “thank you” to me and then climbed off my lap and off the bed. She quickly jumped in the shower and got dressed. I followed her to Matty’s room where she woke him up to say she was leaving, planted a kiss on his forehead and watched him fall back to sleep. She stood there for another ten minutes which was when I stood behind her and placed my hands on her hips. “What’s the matter?”

“I hate leaving him,” she whispered and played with Matty’s hair.

“He’ll be fine,” I smiled. “I won’t let anything happen to him and when you come back later, he’ll be exactly like this when you see him again.” Char sighed, dropped her bag to the floor and climbed into the bed with Matty. She curled her arms around him so it looked like he was in a cocoon.

“I don’t want to leave him,” she mumbled. I chuckled and ran my hand over her side, attempting to comfort her. “I need a good reason to leave him.”

“Your dad needs you,” I whispered in her ear.

“I need a better one,” she sulked.

“I’ll make you dinner for when you get back,” I suggested. She turned her head towards me as if to say “and?” “And I’ll make you dessert.” She held her “and?” face. “And we won’t eat dessert.” Still holding the face. “Well, I will but it will be off your body,” I purred into her ear. She released Matty from her arms and gently let him roll out of her grip. She climbed out of his bed and kissed me.

“I’ll just tell dad that I got stuck in traffic,” she smiled as she pushed me out of Matty’s bedroom and along to our bedroom. We didn’t even make it to the bed. We collapsed onto the carpet and had sex on it like we used to in the flat.

*

Char managed to leave in the end. She left about 40 minutes after she originally planned to and got to her dad about an hour after she had said. I woke Matty up half an hour after she had left; enough time for me to get showered, dressed and call Max up to see what he and Connor were doing for the day. He actually turned around and asked if I could have Connor and Lucy for the day. He and Shell were having a few small arguments and they wanted to talk without the kids being there. I willingly obliged to it but called Jess to help me with Lucy. Jess was much better with the girls than I was.

“Hey, Jess,” I grinned as she walked into the house and made her way straight over to Lucy in her car seat still. She completely didn’t notice Matty sitting there.

“Hey, Lucypops,” Jess cooed and held Lucy against her chest. She turned around and then spotted Matty on the floor. She placed Lucy into the portable crib and pulled me up from the floor. She dragged me into the kitchen by my ear. I liked it better when she was 14 and was a lot smaller than me. “Erm, why is there a little you sitting on the floor playing with Connor?” She asked. She raised her eyebrows at me and crossed her arms across her chest.

“There’s a lot that’s happened the past few days,” I chuckled.

“And you didn’t think to tell me or mum?” Jess asked, jabbing me in the chest.

“Ow, that hurt!” I rubbed the spot she jabbed. “And I’m only just getting used to having him. Anyway, we found Char and she had my kid just over four years ago. He’s called Matty and he loves race cars and Disney films. He’s your only nephew and please don’t tell mum about him yet. I know, she’ll probably see a picture in the papers or something but please don’t say anything. I’ll tell her later this week.”

Jess rolled her eyes at me. “Fine, but as long as I get to spoil him.” She grinned at me which caused me to roll my eyes. I grunted and went back into the living room. “Hey, Matty,” I sang as I knelt down between him and Connor. He looked up to me and smiled. “This,” I gestured to Jess, “is your aunty Jess. She’s my little sister.” Matty stayed silent and looked over to Jess. She grinned at him and held her arms out to him. “He’s a bit hesitant of new people,” I added to Jess. I turned back to Matty. “If we ask aunty Jess nicely, she might go out and get us some McDonalds for lunch.” Jess rolled her eyes at me which I grinned at. She stood up and grabbed my wallet off the side. “What are you doing?” I laughed.

“You’re paying for it,” she smiled. “What does everyone want? Apart from Lucy because she’s still on formula.”

“Chicken nuggets, chips and coke, please Jessy,” Connor requested.

“Matty?” I asked.

“Nuggets, chips and purple shoot please,” he asked. Jess nodded and smiled at him.

“Wanna come with me, Matty?” she asked as she knelt in front of him. He looked at me and I smiled and nodded at him.

“Okay, can I hold the food?” he asked excitedly as he rushed out to the hallway. I helped him with his shoes.

“Jess, can I have my usual, quarter pounder and a coke?” I asked. Jess nodded and took Matty’s hand in hers as she left to drive to McDonalds.

  Chapter 12

Charlotte’s POV

I arrived back at Nathan’s at ten that night. I had to help my dad’s friend bring his bed downstairs into his dining room so he wouldn’t have to keep going upstairs to sleep. I explained to dad that I wasn’t there for the week but I’d be back to see him the next week. I then decided I’d explain everything that happened the past few days. He listened to me. He properly listened to me. I love him nowadays. Now that she’s gone and taken it with her, I can finally talk to my dad and he can treat me like his daughter rather than a lodger. I knocked on the front door of Nathan’s and he answered looking sleepy.

“Aww, I’m sorry,” I giggled. “Did I wake you?”

He grumbled a reply as he shook his head. I stepped inside and gave him a hug. He pushed the front door closed and wrapped his arms around me. “How’s your dad?” He murmured into my neck.

“He’s fine,” I smiled. “I had to help move his bed downstairs though. I’m shattered.” Nathan squeezed me in his arms. He took my bag and keys off of me and put them on the side before he lifted me over his shoulder and took me up to bed. He flicked my shoes off my feet as he stepped into his room. I giggled as he put me on the bed. He placed a kiss on my lips before heading over to his chest of drawers. I climbed off the bed and took my top and jeans off. Nathan turned around to look at me. “What?” I asked with a smile on my face.

“You still look breathtakingly beautiful,” he smiled. He took a step towards me and placed his hands on my hips. “Jess came round today,” he winced.

“Shit,” I cursed. “We haven’t told her or your mum about Matty. Your mum’s going to flip!”

“Well, Jess knows now and I told my mum I was going round there tomorrow with a surprise. Although she already guessed because she’s seen the papers.”

“She’s going to hate me.” I sank onto the bed. I rested my elbows on my thighs and rested my chin in the palm of my left hand. Nathan chuckled and knelt down in front of me. He took my hands in his and started smiling again.

“She will not hate you,” he said. He ran his thumbs over my cheeks. “She could never hate you.”

“What was she like when I left you?” I asked. Nathan darted his eyes to the floor. “Exactly; she’ll hate me even more now that I kept Matty from you for four years.”

“She was upset because of how downhill I went,” Nathan whispered. “She was upset that I gave up; that I gave up on work, on my friends, on everything.”

“I’m so sorry.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. He looked at me with sad eyes. “I shouldn’t have left. I’m a twat for leaving.” Nathan pulled me down to the floor with him. He sat with his back against the bottom of the bed and with me on his lap. I curled into him and cried into his chest. I felt him crying too. I felt him deeply breathing with his chest jutting around as he tried to control his breathing. I heard him sniff a few times too. “I will never leave you again,” I sobbed into his chest.

“Promise me that,” Nathan cried. “Promise me you and Matty will never leave me.”

“I promise,” I sniffed as I pulled away from his chest and looked up to him. “I promise I will never leave you. I can’t promise Matty because he may grow up and never want to see us again.” I chuckled. Nathan smiled and wiped his face. Nathan rested his forehead against mine and rubbed his nose around mine. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

I pulled him closer and kissed him. I swung my legs off his lap and pulled him off the floor. “Let’s do this the right way,” I smiled. I pulled his top off and pulled his trackies down. I climbed into bed and he followed suit.

This time, it wasn’t about feeling each other on our skin; it wasn’t about the lust in our relationship. This time it was passion and love. It was more emotional and more connected. We were pleasing each other because that’s what we wanted not because we had to. We wanted to make each other happy. I knew I wanted to make Nathan happy. To ever hear about him hiding himself away and not looking after himself properly again, it would break my heart. I saw him during the press conference where he looked broken. He didn’t speak and he didn’t look anywhere but his lap and his hands. I just wanted to take back the last four or five years. I wanted to go back to the day we moved into our flat. I’m not saying I regret ever having Matty, I just wish that I’d never kissed Harry, that I’d never became weak, that I’d never left, that we stayed together, dealt with the pregnancy together and we raised Matty together.

*

I rested my head on Nathan’s chest and traced patterns on his forearm. I turned it over so the smooth side was facing up. I trailed my fingertips up and down it. He chuckled as he ran his fingertips up and down my spine. “What’s funny?” I asked, continuing to run my fingertips up and down his arm.

“You haven’t changed at all,” he smiled. He ran his hand up into my hair and massaged the back of my head.

“What do you mean?” I smiled as he massaged.

“You ... stroking your fingertips along my arm.” He kissed the top of my head. “You’ve always done it after we’ve ... made love.” I looked up and kissed him.

“Always?” I asked. Nathan chuckled before nodding. “It can’t be every time.”

“It is,” Nathan laughed. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me up his body. “You do it when you think, too. You used to sit there in your own little world and if my arms were around you, you’d pull them away slightly and run your fingertips along them. If I wasn’t there, you’d do it to yourself. I bet you do it to Matty if you’re cuddled up to him.”

“I bet I don’t,” I giggled and nuzzled his cheek. He chuckled. He rubbed his nose around mine.

“I’ve seen you do it, so I know you do.” Nathan giggled like a child. I bared my teeth to him. He copied me before laughing again. “I miss this.”

“Well, hopefully, if everything goes right and well this week, you’ll never have to miss this again.” I kissed his cheek before resting my head on his chest again. We laid together in silence, stroking our fingertips against each other’s bodies. I felt his fingertips become slower. It was a while before I realised he’d fallen asleep. I looked over at the clock at it was 1:46am. I continued to stroke my fingertips along his forearm. Last time I looked, the clock read 4:05am.

*

Nathan’s POV

I woke up before Char. Her head was still resting on my chest. I gently slid out from under her and went off to the loo. When I came back, Char had curled up into a ball under the covers. I chuckled before throwing some clothes on and going off to see if Matty was okay. He had just woken up when I opened his door. He rubbed his eyes and smiled at me. “Is my mummy back yet?” he asked and sat up properly in bed.

“Yeah, buddy,” I grinned. “She’s still sleeping because she didn’t get back until late. Want breakfast?” I offered. He nodded his head and grinned at me. I lifted him out of bed and placed him on the floor, ruffling his hair. I lifted him on to my feet and walked towards the stairs with him walking on my feet. When we got to the stairs, I lifted him over my shoulder with his feet in the air. He was giggling as I carried him down the stairs. I placed him on a stair five up from the bottom so he was nearly my height. “What do you want?”

“Bacon sarnie, please,” he grinned at me.

I nodded at him. “Sure thing!” With help from me, he jumped down the last five steps and ran off to the kitchen. He struggled to get on the bar stool. I laughed before helping him up. With strict orders from Matty, I started cooking his breakfast. I started cooking all of us breakfast.

Char came downstairs as I was finishing up the bacon. I placed two slices in Matty’s bread, four in mine and two in Char’s. She gave me a kiss before she sat down next to Matty. She drew a smiley face with brown sauce on his bacon before putting a smiley face on hers. I twirled the brown sauce in my hand before covering the bacon in it. Matty was amazed by my skills, Char just laughed. I aimed the bottle at her face and cocked an eyebrow up. “No! Don’t you dare!” she giggled. With one squeeze, she had brown sauce down her chest. “Oh, that’s it!” She ran to the fridge and swung the door open to grab a ketchup bottle. She aimed over in my direction and squeezed as she shut the fridge closed. I had ketchup hit my arm.

“Oh, good aim,” I said sarcastically. I squirted the sauce in her direction and got her in the face.

“You’re so going down,” she laughed as she ran over to me and squirted the ketchup in my face. I wiped the ketchup from my face and grabbed her around the waist. “No, no, no, no, no! Nathan put me down.” I aimed the brown sauce bottle at her face. “Nathan!” she squealed. I squirted the bottle in her face. Matty was in a giggling fit on the bar stool. I placed her back on her feet and kissed her. “I hate you,” she chuckled.

“I love you too,” I laughed. “Finish your sandwich and go get showered. We’re heading to my mum’s in an hour or so.”

“Well, I don’t take long to get ready.” Char wiped the sauce from her face onto my top. “You take forever in the shower. Still slapping your thigh?”

“I don’t slap my thigh in the shower,” I whined.

“What’s slapping your thigh mean?” Matty asked. I forgot he was in the room for a couple of seconds. Char and I looked at each other and tried to keep ourselves from laughing.

“Erm, buddy,” I said, leaning over the counter to face him. “You don’t need to know what that is until you’re 15 at least.” Char slapped my arm.

“You can’t tell him that,” she giggled. She turned to Matty. “You don’t need to know what it is, ever, Mattster.” She turned back to me. “Finish your breakfast and go get showered.” She kissed me again. I held her against me, putting the brown sauce that she wiped onto my top back onto her. “Bastard,” she giggled.

“What’s a bastard?” Matty asked. Char had a massive grin take over her face and she mouthed “fuck!”

“A bad word,” I said to Matty. I let go of Char and picked up my bacon sarnie. “Mummy should go sit on the naughty step for 26 minutes. A minute for every year, yeah?” I took a bite of my sandwich.

“I’m so old,” she grumbled.

“Naughty step, now!” I laughed. She grabbed her plate off the side and took it through to the hallway. I watched her sit down on the bottom step and dig into her breakfast. I laughed before she scorned at me and laid back on the stairs. “You shouldn’t have used a bad word then,” I yelled through to her. I heard her chuckle before I saw her middle finger come round the banister. “None of that either, Hester!”

“Don’t call me HESTER!” she screamed. I loved the fact I could still wind her up. I finished my bacon sarnie and put my plate in the dishwasher. I looked over to Matty’s plate to see his crusts sitting there; staring at me. “You not gonna eat your crusts?” I asked and raised my eyebrows at him.

“Don’t like them,” he said plainly as he hopped off the bar stool and went out to Char in the hallway. I sighed before brushing his crusts into the bin and putting his plate in the dishwasher. I made me and Char a cup of tea each and carried them out to the hallway. Char had an empty plate next to her feet. I handed her her tea and knelt down in front of her.

“You don’t have to keep sitting here,” I chuckled. She shook her head.

“He has to know we’re serious,” she said and leant back on the stairs. “If he swears and he thinks he can get away with it, he will continue to do it. So, if I sit here for 26 minutes, I’ve “learnt my lesson” and then he knows that we’re serious about punishing him.”

I grabbed the bottom of her top and pulled her towards me. She giggled before her lips met mine. “It’s so weird to see you all mummy-like.” I kissed her nose. “It’s cute. I can’t wait to see you with a newborn.”

“You think I’m having more kids?” she asked. She looked serious about it.

“I-I-I-I mean with Tom and Kelsey’s baby,” I rushed.

She started to laugh hard. “It’s a bit too early to be planning anything,” she chuckled. She kissed me again, this time making it last a bit longer. “Go get showered, you stink.” She smiled and kissed me again before she leant back on the stairs again.

  Chapter 13

Charlotte’s POV

We’d pulled up outside of Nathan’s mum’s house. It was just how I remember it. Nathan unclipped his seatbelt and I started panicking. Nathan turned to face me in his seat. He took my face in his hands and looked me in the eyes. “She’s not gonna hate you,” he smiled. “I promise. Now calm down.”

I took a couple of deep breaths in. Matty giggled in the back of Nathan’s car. We brought Teddy along with us. Nathan’s mum adores him; she had since he was a puppy. I unbuckled my belt and opened the car door. Jess was running down the driveway towards us. She threw the door open and pulled Matty out. She gave him a tight hug which he giggled at. “How’s my favourite nephew?” she asked and placed him on her hip.

“Mummy,” he grinned to me. “This is aunty Jess.” Jess turned to me and smiled. She placed Matty on the ground and held her arms out to me. I stepped into her arms and embraced the hug.

“Jess, tell her that mum isn’t in a bad mood with her,” Nathan bugged.

“Mum’s in a brilliant mood because she’s meeting her grandson today,” Jess said. She pulled out of the hug and turned to Nathan. “She’s annoyed at you,” she said, pointing to Nathan, “for not calling her the minute you found out.” Nathan went quiet and started shifting about; fussing with hands. He called Teddy over to him, grabbing his leash and pulling him out of the car. Nathan headed off towards the house, Teddy walking calmly next to him. I raised my eyebrows to Jess and she chuckled. “Come on, Matty,” she smiled to Matty. “Let’s go greet Nanny Karen.”

“She’s going with nanny, eh?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Jess laughed. “She says grandma sounds too old. I suppose nanny doesn’t sound too old.” Jess shrugged and took Matty’s hand in hers. I shut my car door and took a deep couple of breaths before heading in. I closed the front door and took my shoes off and put them with the rest of the shoes in the hallway. I stood in the doorway and watched as Karen made a complete fuss of Matty. Teddy came in from the back garden and nudged my hand with his nose. I scratched him behind the ear and his tongue fell out of his mouth. I chuckled and he got more excited. I looked up and was met by Karen’s stare.

She smiled at me before standing up from the sofa and walking over to me. I bit my top lip as she gave me a stern look. She placed her hands on my shoulders and smiled. I relaxed and she pulled me in for a hug. “I’m so stupid,” I whispered. I heard her chuckle.

“You were protecting you and Matty,” Karen whispered back. I looked over her shoulder, at Nathan. He was watching us like a hawk. “You were doing the right thing for him.” Karen pulled away slightly. I tried so hard not to cry. That’s all I was good at lately. Karen smiled at me slightly. I burst into giggles.

“I’m sorry,” I apologised, still laughing. “I ... I just only seem to be able to cry lately and right now, I’m trying too hard not to cry and ...” I started laughing again. Nathan looked concerned as he got up from the sofa and came over to me. He hovered behind his mum as she hugged me again. She pulled away and went back to making a fuss of Matty. Nathan gave me a hug. He turned me around before pushing me out of the living room and guiding me upstairs to his old bedroom. He took my hand in his and walked me over to the mirror. He stood behind me and placed his arms around my waist.

“Stop being so nervous,” he whispered while looking at me in the reflection. I let out a long breath. “She said you were doing the right thing for Matty so stop being a wreck.” He laughed the last part.

I loosened his arms from my waist and turned around. For some reason, I automatically had a flashback to the first proper time we kissed in his bedroom. Christmas morning. I placed my hands on his chest and traced my fingertips along the neckline of his top.

Nathan’s POV

All the happiness I felt Christmas morning all those years ago came flooding back. I couldn’t help but smile as she ran her thumbs up and down my chest as her index fingers traced my neckline of my top. I rested my forehead on her forehead. “I told you, everything will be fine,” I said. I lowered my hands to her hips.

“I love you,” she smiled.

“I know,” I winked. She lightly banged her head against mine. “Ow,” I laughed and rubbed the spot where she banged her head against mine. “What was that for?”

“You didn’t say you loved me too,” Char sulked and stuck her bottom lip out playfully.

“I was getting to that, Hester.” I grinned at her and stuck my tongue out between my teeth.

“Don’t call me that,” she whined and let her head fall back. I lifted her head back up and kissed her. I didn’t want to let go of her. My arms wrapped themselves back around her waist. Her arms wrapped themselves around my neck and we stood there for a couple of minutes just kissing and holding each other.

“I love you too, Hester,” I chuckled before kissing her again. She pinched the back of my neck before kissing me back.

*

Mum was completely all over Matty. I’ve never seen her like this. Matty adored her. All he wanted to do was sit by her side. When Matty wasn’t cuddled up to mum, he was on the floor with Teddy. After going out into town for a bit, we came back and curled up in front of the TV. Matty sat with mum for a bit until she went off to cook dinner. Then he sat on the floor with Teddy for a bit. When he got tired, he came and sat between me and Char. After dinner, Matty was becoming even more tired; a full belly and an eventful day really knackered him. He eventually fell asleep about eight. He had his thumb in his mouth and was cuddled up to Char. “Should we head back soon?” I asked Char. She brushed Matty’s fringe away from his face and nodded. “Mum, we’re gonna head off,” I said and stood up from the sofa. I picked Matty up and rested his head on my shoulder, placing him on my hip. Char stood up and took Teddy outside. She came back in, Teddy on his lead, and picked up her bag.

“Thank you for dinner, Karen,” Char smiled and then yawned. She turned to me and held her hand out for the keys.

“Ha-ha, no,” I chuckled. “You’re tired. You’re not driving.” She rolled her eyes at me and handed Teddy’s lead to me. She hugged mum before taking Teddy’s lead back. I gently woke Matty up. “Buddy, say thank you and goodbye to nanny.”

“Fank you,” Matty mumbled, his eyes were still closed. “Bye-bye.” He fell back to sleep on my shoulder, his thumb finding his mouth.

Mum chuckled. “You’re welcome sweetie,” mum cooed. She kissed Matty’s head before she kissed my cheek. “I’ll see you soon?” Mum asked. She looked to Char behind me. “All of you?”

I looked over my shoulder and Char had a smile on her face. She nodded to mum and I nodded too. Mum stood at the front door as I put Matty in his car seat. Char put Teddy in his harness on the other back seat. She climbed into the front seat and curled up after clipping her seatbelt on. I said bye to mum again before shutting Matty’s door and sitting in the driver’s seat. I started the engine and started the drive home. Matty was asleep, Teddy was asleep and Char was drifting off too. “Oi!” I said and shook Char back awake. “Don’t go falling asleep. This drive is boring.”

“I’m tired,” Char groaned before turning over to face me. “And you shouldn’t be distracted.”

“I’m not going to be distracted. You’re going to stop me from falling asleep.”

“It takes just over two hours to get back to yours-”

“Ours,” I corrected. I had bought the house but I always saw it as ours and she knew that. I pulled on to the motorway and put my hand on her thigh. I saw her smile out the corner of my eye. She took my hand off of her thigh and kissed it.

“Ours,” she giggled. “I’m sure you won’t fall asleep. We’ll be home before midnight.”

“So, why are you falling asleep?” I asked and quickly glanced at her. She pretended to mock me before she raised my hand to her mouth and lightly bit down. “Just stay awake so I can listen to you.”

“Listen to me what?” she giggled.

“Talk, laugh, sing, whatever,” I smiled. Char groaned before she looked back up to me. “Sing to me,” I requested.

“You know I can’t sing,” she laughed.

“I know,” I smiled. “That’s why I want you to sing.”

“I am not singing and we can’t put the music loud enough to cover my singing.” She ran her finger across my watch.

“Talk to me then,” I smiled and looked over to her.

“About what?” she laughed and turned my face towards the road.

“Anything,” I chuckled. She placed my hand back on her thigh and I gently squeezed. “Tell me about the day Matty was born.” She rolled her eyes at me before smiling. I could tell she was thinking about the first moment she saw him. She then went on to tell me. My favourite part was where she had just given birth to him and was exhausted; completely not ready to push the placenta out. She still pushed through that though. Once she’d caught her breath, the midwife handed Matty to Char wrapped in a blue blanket. He was crying until he was placed in Char’s arms and as soon as he felt her skin on his, he stopped crying. The three times I’ve heard this story, Char always got tears in her eyes. It brought tears to my eyes to see how happy she looked. One fell down my cheek so I quickly wiped it away.

“Look, I’m making you cry because you weren’t there,” Char started to cry herself. “See, I’m in tears again. I can’t stop crying and it’s horrible.”

“These are happy tears,” I smiled and wiped my eyes dry. “I just love how happy you get when you remember the moment he touched your skin and he stopped crying.”

“And you wish you were there to actually see it,” Char sobbed. She started giggling though. I happily sighed. To hear that giggle was relaxing. It’s true that you don’t appreciate something until it’s gone. She continued to tell me little stories about Matty throughout the car journey. She didn’t even notice that we’d pulled up on the driveway. We sat there for another twenty minutes as she told me about the first time he asked about me. She had her head on the edge of her seat and was still facing me. I leant towards her and kissed her. She smiled as I kissed her and I couldn’t help but smile too. “Keep your eyes on the .... oh, we’ve stopped,” she said which caused me to chuckle.

“Got home a while ago now,” I smiled and kissed her again. “Come on, we should get little one to bed,” I added in a whisper. She bit her bottom lip and nodded. We both climbed out the car. She went for Matty’s door and I went to get Teddy out. I took Teddy round to Char and Matty’s side of the car. She unbuckled him from his seatbelt and lifted him out. He woke up slightly.

“Are we home?” he asked. Char chuckled and looked over to me.

“Yeah, we’re home,” she whispered to him. He nuzzled his face into her chest more.

“Are we at home with my toys?” he mumbled. My heart sank. Char kissed Matty’s head and looked down at the floor.

“No, Mattster,” she whispered. “We’re still with daddy.”

“When can we go home?” he asked. He woke up a little more and looked up to Char. I headed into the house. I let Teddy out into the garden and sat down on the edge of the decking. A while later, Char joined me with two mugs of tea in her hands.

 “Look, the longest we’ve spent out of the house is two nights,” Char started to explain. “He just misses his stuff.”

I sighed. I knew it wouldn’t be easy for everything to fall into place. If Matty was still a baby, it would be easier but he’s a four year old kid who knew what was roughly going on and knew when he wasn’t in familiar surroundings. “Maybe you should go home tomorrow,” I suggested, resting my tea beside me on the decking.

“No,” Char shook her head. “I said we’d spend the week-”

“If he’s never spent more than two nights away from his own bed, maybe you should ease him into staying here,” I cut her off. She leant herself against me and rested her head on my shoulder. “We can go to bed now and then you can go home tomorrow afternoon, yeah?”

Char looked up to me and shook her head. “I said I wasn’t going to leave again,” she whispered and kissed my cheek.

I turned my head to hover my lips over hers. “I was kinda hoping for an invitation back,” I smirked. She giggled as I kissed her.

“Maybe leave it a couple of days?” She screwed up her face slightly, waiting for my reaction.

I sighed and smiled as I kissed her again. “Okay then,” I said. I kissed her again gently before picking my tea back up and finding half of it gone. I looked behind us and Teddy was laying down, looking a bit too happy for my liking. His nose was completely soaked and that’s when I figured he’d been drinking my tea. I chucked my tea out onto the grass and put my hand on Char’s mug.

“Nuh-uh,” she chuckled. “You are not having any of mine!” I wrapped my arm around her and tickled her. She started laughing and dropped her tea on the decking. The mug fell down the steps, not smashing until it hit the grass. She grabbed a hold of my jacket and pulled me on top of her. She leant back on the decking. I cocked an eyebrow at her. “Shut up,” she chuckled. “Shut up and just make love to me.” I unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down with my boxers. She hitched her skirt up and pulled her underwear to her knees. I slid them completely down her legs before leaning down and kissing her again. I licked my fingers before inserting them into her. She groaned as she reached down to my hard on. Feeling that she was ready, and knowing I was definitely ready, I took her hand away and slowly started to thrust into her. She kept getting caught between giggling and moaning. The smile on my face couldn’t be erased. She gripped onto my jacket tighter as I felt her reaching her climax. “Nathan,” she moaned. “Nath.”

“Char,” I moaned into her ear back.

“No, Nath, your phone’s ringing.”

“Ignore it,” I groaned as I thrusted deeper and harder into her. It stopped ringing only to start up again.

“Just look to see who it is,” Char said, irritated by whoever was calling. I sighed and reached beside us for my jeans, continuing to thrust into her. I pulled my phone out and Tom’s picture was lighting up the screen. “Tell him to fuck off.” I chuckled at Char’s reaction before I rejected the call. My phone lit up again with a text message.

Tom: Kelsey’s water broke. You said you’d take us to the hospital.

“Kelsey’s gone into labour,” I stated.

  Chapter 14

Nathan’s POV

I stopped and Char propped herself up on her elbows, looking at Tom’s message. “The baby doesn’t come for a few more hours,” Char smiled and pulled me back down to her. I placed my phone back on the decking and continued where we left off. Half an hour later, I was pulling up at Tom and Kelsey’s house. The living room light was on and Tom was standing at the window, looking pissed off at how long it took me to get here. I saw him disappear from the window and open the front door.

“Where the hell have you been?” Tom shouted. “Kelsey’s in labour and in pain and you’re ignoring my calls.”

“Mate, I was a bit busy,” I smirked. He caught on to my drift and a smile crept across his face. He relaxed a bit more and led me in to Kelsey on the couch.

“About fucking time!” she growled as I stepped into the living room. “Where the fuck have you been?”

“Kels, babe, calm down, he was getting laid,” Tom chuckled. “Can you blame the guy when his version of you comes back?”

“I don’t fucking care!” Kelsey snarled as she got up from the sofa. I smiled. Max and Jay went through the exact same thing with Shell and Lani. “I want drugs and to get this little bugger out of me!”

I couldn’t help but laugh. I picked her stuff up and carried it out to my car. Tom sat in the back with Kelsey and I saw in the rear-view mirror that she was squeezing his hand so it turned white. They both strapped themselves in so I set off for the hospital.

“Where’s Char?” Kelsey asked, still with a death grip on Tom’s hand.

“At home with Matty,” I commented as I pulled into the car park.

“Home home or your home?” Kelsey asked.

“Our home,” I said sternly.

“Get her here now!” Kelsey growled.

“And where’s Matty going to go?” I laughed.

“He can wait with you and Tom outside the room,” Kelsey grinned. “I want Char with me because she’s done this ....” Kelsey started to make a noise which is best to describe a growl with her mouth closed. “She’s done this before and she’s one person who won’t make stupid comments like Tom does.” I rolled my eyes. “Please, Nath. Get her here, now?” Kelsey gave me a pleading look with her eyes and I couldn’t say no. I nodded and pulled my phone out of my pocket. I hit call on her name and it rang once before she picked up.

“Can you come to the hospital?” I asked as soon as she said hi.

“What’s the matter?” she asked. She sounded concerned about Kelsey.

Charlotte’s POV

“She wants you here because you’ve been through it all,” Nath explained. I was still confused as I thought she hadn’t ever forgiven me for leaving.

“Nathan, give me the fucking phone,” I heard Kelsey say from a distance away from Nathan. “Char, get your arse in this hospital now!” Kelsey growled down the phone. I started to giggle at how the hormones were affecting her. “Don’t laugh, Char,” she whimpered. “Get here so I don’t have to put up with these two.”

“I thought Shell would be your like birthing partner,” I smiled.

“Well, her and Max are having some problems and she’s up in Manchester and I saw how she was during her birth and I do not want her seeing me like that. Please, please, please?”

I sighed, knowing she wouldn’t give up until I agreed. “I’ll go wake Matty,” I chuckled. Kelsey squealed down the phone before a contraction started up. She said bye before it had finished. I climbed out of bed and started to get dressed. I only shoved my skinny jeans and one of Nathan’s tops on. I made my way into Matty’s room and gently woke him up. “Mattster,” I whispered as he started to wake. “Matty, we’ve got to go and see Uncle Tom and Aunty Kelsey get their baby.”

Matty mumbled as he woke up completely. “I miss my bed,” were the words I could manage to hear amongst his mumbling.

“We’ll get you back to your bed either tonight or tomorrow, okay?” I reassured him as he climbed out of bed. I quickly got him downstairs and put his shoes on for him. I wasn’t going to change him out of his pyjamas as he was only a kid and he’d only go back to sleep once we’d got into the car and to the hospital. And so he did. I made my way up to the maternity ward with Matty asleep in my arms. Nathan was waiting at the desk for me. He took Matty out of my arms and kissed me.

“She’s 7cm,” he said with a confused expression on his face. I smiled at how clueless he was. I squeezed his hand in mine as he led me to Kelsey’s room. Nathan stayed outside with Matty. Before going into Kelsey’s room, I watched Nathan as he laid Matty down on the sofa and laid his jacket over him. I sighed with a smile as I backed into Kelsey’s room.

“Char!” Kelsey screamed with delight. Tom was by her bedside with his phone out and the flashlight on. “Thomas Anthony Parker, stop fucking recording me and get out!”

“But I wanna get all this on camera,” Tom whined. “I want all of our first babies stuff recorded so we can watch over and remember it all.”

“Honestly, I don’t particularly want to remember the pain I’m in because you’ll never get another baby. And do you want more kids?” Tom nodded in response to Kelsey’s question. “Then fuck off with your phone!” Tom quickly left the room, slightly thankful to be able to get away from Kelsey.

Five hours later and a little boy was born. Tom came back into the room and was the first to hold him. Tom didn’t quite know what to do so the midwife guided him into a chair at the side of the room and he looked in awe at his son. I squeezed Kelsey in my arms and kissed her head. “You’re sweating like mad, you disgusting tramp,” I laughed, wiping the sweat from Kelsey’s head off my lips.

“Thank you, Char,” Kelsey sighed. She looked exhausted but I could tell she wanted to hold her baby before falling asleep at all. “Tom?” Kelsey asked, making herself more comfortable. Tom stood up from the chair, a little more in control of himself now and brought baby Parker over to Kelsey. I stepped out of the way as Tom passed their son to Kelsey. The smile that came over her face and the joy she was showing made me smile. It reminded me of the first time I held Matty.

“I’ll just let the two of you be alone with him,” I smiled as I went to leave the room.

“No you don’t,” Kelsey and Tom both laughed. “We decided the day you came down to Nathan’s that you’re being Godmother,” Tom further explained. “That way, it’s harder for you to disappear again.” I laughed at this excuse.

“I’m not going to disappear again,” I grinned. I stepped over to the bed and looked at the gorgeous boy in Kelsey’s arms. She handed him back to Tom who handed him to me. “He’s gorgeous.” I started to get tears in my eyes as I looked up to Tom. He looked like the proudest father on the planet and his eyes weren’t leaving baby Parker’s face. I looked back down to baby Parker and the tears left my eyes.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” Tom asked, lifting baby Parker out of my arms and placing him in the clear, plastic bed he was going to be in for the next couple of days Kelsey recovered from the giving birth. Tom wrapped his arms around me. Kelsey was being quiet and I found out she’d actually gone to sleep.

“You look so happy and proud,” I cried into Tom’s chest. He started rubbing my back. “Nathan should’ve been like that. Nathan should have been there.” Tom’s arms tightened around me.

“He’s been there for every single one of us,” Tom whispered in my ear. “I think he’s happier that he’s found you, that you’re finally back together. The thing is, Char, is that Matty has had a normal growing up so far. Our kids will be in the public eye. Matty has been brought up normal. And you have a place that you can get away from it all. All five of us are in a worldwide-known band, Kelsey and Shell are actresses, Nare is a famous shoe designer and Lani is a model. You’re the only one who isn’t famous. You were but now you’re the only normal one out of all of us.”

“Erm, thanks?” I wasn’t quite sure whether this was supposed to be a compliment or not. Tom started laughing at himself and rested his head on my shoulder. “Thanks, Tom,” I whispered, now seeing that Kelsey was definitely asleep. “I’ll leave the two of you alone. She looks like she needs the rest and I think you’ll be needing it too.” I kissed Tom’s cheek. “Congratulations by the way. He is gorgeous.”

“Thanks, Char,” Tom smiled and went back to looking at his son.

I quietly left the room and made my way over to Nathan who had a wide awake Matty sitting next to him. As soon as Matty saw me come out of Kelsey’s room, he ran straight over to me, jumping up in my arms. “Hey, Mattster. Have fun with dad?”

Matty nodded. “We’ve just had breakfast,” he smiled. I walked over to Nathan and set Matty back on the sofa. Nathan stood up and kissed my forehead.

“How are they?” Nathan asked, tucking my hair behind my ear. I let out a sigh. “Exhausted?” I nodded in response. “And you’re exhausted too?” I nodded more. “Let’s get you something to eat then.” Nathan turned to Matty. “Come on, buddy, mummy wants some breakfast so that means more breakfast for us too.” Matty cheered and I gently nudged Nathan.

“You’re spoiling him,” I chuckled and rested my head in the crook of Nathan’s neck. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head as the rest of the lads came running down the corridor.

“Have they had the baby yet?” Max asked, carrying a half-asleep Connor in his arms. Nare and Siva were half-asleep behind them. Lani and Jay were behind them, Iris in Jay’s arms.

“Yeah, Kelsey’s asleep, the baby’s asleep and Tom is shattered so I wouldn’t go in there yet,” I smiled. “He’s gorgeous.”

“No fair,” Nare smiled. “You get to see him before the rest of us?” She winked at me before giving me a hug. “Kelsey or Tom?”

“Oh definitely Tom,” I laughed. “All the baby photos of Tom are pretty much the same as that kid in there.” I nodded over to the room Kelsey and Tom were in.

“Come on, gorgeous, let’s get you something to eat,” Nathan chuckled and wrapped his arm around my shoulders again. “You lot coming?” Nath asked everyone else. They all looked over to Kelsey’s door before sighing and nodding in agreement.

  Chapter 15

Max’s POV

Connor had woken up by the time we got to the food court. He and Matty happily sat together and ate their Happy Meals, playing with toys from Ice Age 7. I rested my chin on my hand and my elbow on the table, trying to stay awake. Thankfully, Siva offered to drive me in as Shell had gone back up to Manchester with Lucy. I felt mostly empty. I honestly couldn’t believe she was thinking about leaving me over a small thing like this. All I did was give a fan a kiss and she jumped to the wrong conclusions. I’ve apologised every second I’ve spent with Shell but she won’t listen.

“Max, you alright?” Char asked as she sat down next to me. I nodded, not wanting to talk about it. It was mine and Shell’s problem and I didn’t need to bring anyone else into it. Especially people who were a bit of a flight risk. “Kelsey and Tom made me godmother,” Char smiled and took a sip of her coffee. “Means I can’t disappear again.” She chuckled to herself before she had a concerned look on her face. “Max, I’m not leaving.”

“Titch, you came back from holiday and just left,” I sighed. I don’t think she quite understood that she was the closest thing to a sister that I had. Shell and I have had more problems in the last four years than we had in the two years before Char left. “How do you expect me to react? I can’t just confide in you anymore.”

“Max, you pretty much gave me permission to leave,” Char whispered, not wanting everybody else to overhear. I grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the food court, making an excuse to excuse ourselves. “Where are you taking me?” Char whined as I pulled her along behind me.

“Away from everyone,” I hissed. I pulled her along to an empty ward that was supposed to be opening next week. “I thought you were only leaving for a week or so. I didn’t fucking realise it would be four and a half fucking years! I honestly thought you’d become a missing person until I saw you at the Summertime Ball two years ago.”

“You recognised me?” Char asked, shocked that I managed to spot her in the big crowd.

“Of course I recognised you,” I said, shaking my head. “The amount of arguments I got into with Shell was insane. I knew I’d seen you and I wanted to go searching for you, starting off in your hometown, but Shell called me crazy and said you were gone. She told me to just forget about you and that we should all move on with our lives, especially Nathan. My family nearly got torn apart; I nearly lost my kids, Char.” I felt anger rise up in me. Anger that rarely came up.

“Shell would never take your kids.” Char looked determined as she said this. She doesn’t know Shell. She knew Shell but Shell’s changed. She’s been paranoid that I’m gonna just drop everything and disappear from the face of the earth since Char made her disappearance. I shook my head at Char. “She wouldn’t.”

“She would,” I sighed as I sat down at the ward nurses station. Char sat down in front of me, her legs dangling off the edge of the nurses’ desk, swinging them forward and backwards like a child. “I hate to sound like I’m blaming you but she’s changed since your disappearance. Fuck, she hasn’t forgiven me for letting you go.”

“I was going to go whether you let me or not,” Char sighed. “I just felt like I was .... I dunno. I just felt less guilty because you didn’t put up much of a fight so it felt like you were letting me go.”

“Because I thought you were coming back!” I yelled. “Do you expect everyone to just forgive you and welcome you with open arms when you disappeared for nearly five fucking years, Titch?! I think you’ll be lucky if Shell ever forgives you, or me for the matter.”

“Where is Shell? I thought she’d be here for Kelsey.”

“Manchester, and she took Lucy too. She nearly took Connor but I refused to let her take my little boy away from me.”

“I wanted to come back but then I remembered how much shit I was getting from the 1D fans and a load of your fans and that reminded me why I didn’t want to come back. The longer I was away, the easier it actually became to detach myself.” Char smiled to herself, brushing away the tears she had fall down her cheeks. “You lot always brought me crashing back to the reality though.” She chuckled softly.

“How’s that?” I asked, clearly confused as to how we could have no contact but bring her back to “reality”.

“You were everywhere. Firstly, there was stuff all over the papers and the internet about Nathan becoming depressed and turning to drink and just being a mess. Then you announced the break. Of course, over those two years it went silent from you lot but then Harry went missing and then One Direction broke up and Harry went missing again. Then you lot get back together and sell out Capital’s Summertime Ball. After that, all I saw in the papers was Nathan and a different girl most nights.”

“Don’t say it broke your heart or anything,” I groaned, not being able to listen to the whining I knew she would usually – or she would used to – do.

“No, I mean, yeah, I was a little pissed off that he was sleeping around when he had a son but then I’d remember that I left him and never got back in contact about his son and he should’ve been slagging around. At this point, I really knew I was never coming back.” Char looked to the floor beside me. She looked ... guilty. I felt sympathetic for her. I stood up from the chair and wrapped my arms around her shoulders as I placed a kiss on her forehead.

“Just promise me on Matty’s life that you’ll never disappear again, yeah?” I asked. I felt her nod against my chest. “Good girl,” I whispered. She wrapped her arms around my chest and I squeezed her a bit tighter. “We should go back to the others,” I suggested after a few minutes of us in each other’s arms. Char agreed before we let go of each other and headed back to the food court. Connor ran straight up to me. Matty was immediately behind, running into Char’s legs.

Charlotte’s POV

“Thanks Mattster,” I laughed as I was nearly knocked over by Matty. I picked Matty up and carried him on his side. “How could I take this boy away from Nath?” I asked Max and winked as I headed back over to Nathan. I placed Matty in the booth and sat myself the side Nathan was on. I saw his confused face so kissed him, “Max just wanted a quick word.” Nathan nodded in understanding. He threw his arm around my shoulder and kissed my temple before watching Matty lay down on the bench, disappearing from our view. He giggled before sighing and going silent. After a few seconds, Nathan and I looked over the table to find Matty asleep. “Ma-”

“Let him sleep,” Nathan whispered in my ear. “He’s excited to have a little brother.” Nathan winked at me before we both started laughing. “He thinks that if Tom has a baby, that means it’s his brother, so he stayed awake since you got here because he wanted to meet his baby brother.”

“Why didn’t you tell him he wasn’t going to be his brother?” I giggled and turned to face Nathan. Nathan rubbed his nose around mine and smirked.

“He was too cute to correct,” Nathan smiled before kissing me. “Are you still going home today?” Nathan asked, changing subject and looking like he regretted making the change.

“Depends on what our little boy wants to do,” I shrugged. Nathan still looked a little sad. “It’s not just that simple to be like ‘let’s move in together and live our life like we’ve always been like this.’ I mean, it’s not just me I’ve got to think about, Nath. There’s Matty, there’s my dad, and I’ve already chosen what school Matty will be starting at part-time in September. How am I going to even start thinking about trying to get him into a school around here?”

“You won’t have to do it alone,” Nathan reassured me. I let out a sigh of relief; I was kind of hoping he’d say something like that. “I’ll get Jess to help ya with that stuff.” I slapped his arm as he started laughing. “I’m kidding, of course I’d help ya. Though I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“Where’s Connor going?” I asked, picking Nathan’s can of Coca Cola up and taking a sip.

“Erm, not sure, I don’t think we should ask because no one’s sure if Connor will be staying in London,” Nathan whispered. He kissed me and took his drink back off of me, finishing it off. His phone vibrated on the table. As Nathan lifted his phone up, I could see the screen too. Tom was awake now.

Tom: Want to come meet your godson?

Nathan text him back straight away and I woke Matty up. All of us went up to Kelsey’s room and she started crying from seeing us all again. I let Nareesha and Lani see her first as I’d already seen her. I sat on the sofa in the room with Matty and Connor sitting next to me and Iris in my arms. “So, have you decided on a name yet?” Nathan asked, patting Tom on the back. I stood up from the sofa and rested Iris’ head on my chest. I rocked side to side with her as she started to stir and make whimpering noises.

“Not yet, Kelsey won’t take any of my ideas.” Tom laughed. Kelsey hit him lightly in the stomach.

“Your ideas are stupid, that’s why,” she smiled before looking over to me. “He wants names like Arnold and Boris. My little man is not going to be called either of them!”

Nathan’s POV

I looked over to Char and saw her holding Iris. She looked gorgeous and it reminded me of the times she looked after Lux or Lillie. I really wanted a baby with Char. I know we have Matty and I do love him because you have to love your son. But I want a baby. She looked up to me, catching me staring at her and Iris. She blushed before looking back down to Iris and kissing her on the top of her head. I stepped over to Char and put my arm around her waist, kissing her temple before kissing Iris’ head. Iris started to cry, hungry as she’d been asleep and that’s the only thing she woke up for really. Jay took Iris out of Char’s arms and took her outside to feed her. Char wrapped her arms around my waist and kissed my cheek.

Charlotte’s POV

I noticed Max take his phone out of his pocket, look at the screen, then at me, before heading out the room. “Char, you got any names that would suit him?” Tom asked, picking little Parker out of his hospital cot and placing him in my arms. I held his head in one of my hands and wrapped my arm around his body, holding him out in front of me. I tilted my head and listed a bunch of names off in my head, saying no to all of them.

“I can’t choose your baby’s name,” I laughed, handing little Parker back to Tom. “What do you think he looks like?” I moved so I was standing next to Tom and looking down on little Parker. Matty came and stood next to me with Connor. “Actually, should we ask these two?” I asked Kelsey and Tom and nodded to Connor and Matty. They both developed smiles. Tom knelt down so he was the boys’ height.

“If you could choose a name for him, what would it be?” Tom asked, looking at both Matty and Connor. They both looked at the baby and then looked at each other. They walked back to the sofa and started whispering to each other, debating over the name they wanted to choose. I don’t think they quite understood. I think they thought they were supposed to be naming the baby instead of thinking the name that suited him. After a minute or so, they came back over to Tom and Connor stepped forward slightly.

“Archie,” Connor smiled and looked back to Matty for encouragement.

“Archie Parker?” Kelsey asked, thinking the name over. I watched for her face to fall and not like the name, but it didn’t. Matty looked up to Nathan to see if Archie was a good name. Nathan gave him a thumbs up and Matty grinned as he turned to face Tom and the baby.

“Babe?” Tom asked, turning to face Kelsey. “Archie or not Archie?” Kelsey didn’t need to say anything as she had a smile planted on her face.

“Archie Thomas Parker,” Kelsey grinned, stretching her arms out to Tom so she could hold her baby. Nathan lifted Matty and Connor up on to Kelsey’s bed so they could still see the baby. They were truly fascinated by him, even though Connor had a little sister. This was the closest to a baby Matty had been. He turned around and crawled to the end of the bed to where I was standing.

“Mummy,” he whispered. I stepped forward and he pulled me down so he could whisper in my ear. “Can I hold Archie?”

I chuckled and looked up to Kelsey. “I think Kelsey wants a cuddle for a bit. Maybe after, yeah?” I smiled and looked back down to him.

“Connor, mate,” Max said as he came back into the room. “We’ve gotta go home.” Max looked upset about something. He didn’t look up from Connor as he said, “Tom, we’ve gotta go. Shell needs to talk to me.”

“You gonna be okay?” Tom asked, moving round to Max’s side. Max nodded but still didn’t make eye contact with anyone.

“Dad, why are you crying?” Connor asked. I looked over to Nathan who pulled his mouth to the side in concern as he looked at one of his best friends.

“Just happy for Tom and Kelsey, mate,” Max tried to smile.

“Max,” I spoke up. He looked up to me and his eyes were full of tears. “You want a lift?” I could feel myself getting emotional just by looking at him. I hated to see any guy cry, let alone someone I saw as a brother. Max shook his head and was about to come up with an excuse when I cut him off. “We’re not talking about it. You’re not getting a taxi home. Manchester or here?”

“Here,” Max sniffed and looked up to the ceiling to blink away the tears.

“I’ll be back in a bit,” I whispered to Nathan before giving him a kiss goodbye and fetched my jacket that was on the back of the chair. I took Connor’s hand in one of my hands and Max’s in the other.

  Chapter 16

Max’s POV

I looked like a fool. I was crying in front of everyone. I didn’t want to look at any of them until Char said my name. She offered me a lift and I didn’t want it but she insisted. I didn’t want to trouble any of the lads with Connor and Lucy so Shell was bringing her mum down to take them back to Manchester for a few days. Before we got into the car, I insisted that Connor listened to my music on my iPhone and not to take the headphones off until we got home. “She wants a divorce, Char,” I cried. “She wants a fucking divorce just because I was pictured giving a fan a kiss. She was a fucking fan. I didn’t sleep with the girl.” I broke down. I didn’t want a divorce from Shell; she was half of me. “I-I-I can’t have her leave me, Titch. I need her. I need her and the kids. She’ll take them away from me.” Sure, I’d be able to see them when I come home from wherever we are but I want them to come on tour with me or to stay with us when we’ve got a week off in LA or something. I don’t want to be having all this time away from them or not being able to see them when I have a day stopping before I’m off again. It was hard enough when it was early days and Shell used to be the only one in Manchester. I didn’t want us to end.

“Look, speak to her and tell her it wasn’t anything more than a fan’s wish,” Char said. She didn’t get it. It wasn’t just the fan’s kiss; that was just the straw that broke the donkey’s back. Char’s disappearance, me letting Char go, the band starting up again, stuff happening, me never being there to help with Lucy and Connor; they are all the reasons that contributed to this.

“How do I make her understand that I need her, Titch? You’re a girl; how would you want Nath to tell you he needs you in his life?” I was practically begging on some knowledge of how to keep Shell. Char had a couple of tears leave her eyes. Shit, I forgot for a moment that she had actually been Shell in a way. She had left Nathan. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“No, Max,” she sniffed.

Then it hit me. “If she’s really determined to leave me, she’s not gonna listen to me, is she? You didn’t listen to Nath. No, God, no, she can’t leave. I won’t let her leave.” Char pulled over just outside my house. “Take Connor in, please,” I asked, tears forming in my eyes again. “I don’t wanna go in like this.” Char nodded in understanding before switching the engine off and leaning over to give me a hug.

Charlotte’s POV

I walked Connor up to the front door and turned to face Max in the car before knocking on the door. I had never seen him like this. I’d never seen any of the lads like this except Harry and Nathan. But that was because of me. I felt useless with Max. I couldn’t help him. The front door opened to reveal an older woman who looked a bit like Shell. She knelt down to Connor’s level and he was more than willing to run into the arms of this woman. My guess was that she was Shell’s mum. “Char?” I saw Shell from the end of the hallway. “Where’s Max?” she asked, smiling at Connor.

“In the car, getting himself together before he comes in,” I said, looking down, feeling guilty for some reason.

“Mum, can you take Luce and Con?” Shell asked in a lower voice. Shell’s mum took Connor’s hand in hers and went back into the house to get Lucy and the stuff she needed for both of the kids for the next few days. Once Shell had said goodbye to the kids, Max came rushing out of my car, wanting to say goodbye to his kids. He waved them off and went back to my car once they were out of view. “Oh, real mature Max!” Shell shouted after him before turning to me. “Get him out of your car and then leave, please.” She rolled her eyes and turned around to go back in the house.

“You were fine with me the other day, Shell,” I said, watching how I trod around her. “What happened?”

“You left, Char,” she sighed. “You left. Then you came back out of nowhere. If you were determined to leave, you’d have stayed away forever.”

“I didn’t know everyone was going to be in the park,” I laughed. “You honestly think I went there on purpose?”

“Get Max out of the fucking car and leave Char.”

“Kelsey had her baby. She wanted you there, Shell. She’s your best friend.”

“Things change, Char. Like mine and Max’s relationship. He’s cheated, again, and I’m not prepared to be walked over, again.” And with that, Shell slammed the door in my face. I turned on my heel and rushed to my car, pulling the passenger door open and grabbing Max out of the car by his ear.

“You cheated on her before?” I asked. I couldn’t believe he would cheat on Shell. “You cheated before?” Max looked to the ground, clearly not wanting to have this conversation. “When?” I asked, grabbing Max’s chin and making him look at me.

“Just after the band got back together,” he mumbled and pushed my hand off of him. “I couldn’t help myself.”

And I couldn’t help but slap him. I shocked him and myself. I held my hand and said sorry a million times. He rubbed his cheek and started laughing. “I think I deserve that,” he smiled. He winced as he felt the stinging continue in his cheek. “Well, I suppose it can’t get much worse.”

“You don’t get away that easily. You really cheated?” I asked, pushing him back in his seat in the car. He sighed before explaining everything to me. It must’ve taken him like an hour and a half to explain. I shook my head throughout most of it. I couldn’t believe he had actually gone behind Shell’s back and slept with a younger actress; talk about downgrading. It was an actress on Hollyoaks. When he’d finished, I slumped against the rear passenger door of my car. “I can’t believe you, Max.” I shook my head disbelievingly.

“I was drunk and not thinking straight,” Max tried to get himself out of it. I was guessing he’d used these same excuses on Shell. “I’d never do it again. That’s why I only gave the fan a peck on the lips. I didn’t give her like a full-on snog or anything.”

“You’ve got to promise her and make her honestly trust you. Fuck, Max, Shell’s amazing and you do this?” I hit him in the arm. “I can’t believe you.” I hit him again which made him laugh. He bit his bottom lip and crossed his arms across his chest. “Please go and tell her the truth. All of it. Don’t let there be any secrets between you.” I squatted down on the pavement so I was lower than he was as he sat in my car still. “Look, you have an empty house for a couple of days. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please,” I continued to say please and after a few seconds, he got annoyed and got out of my car.

“For fuck’s sake, fine,” he laughed before wrapping his arms – that were only moments ago crossed across his chest – around my shoulders. He planted a kiss on my cheek and took a deep breath in before heading up to the house. I sighed happily before closing the passenger door and heading over to the driver’s side to drive back to the hospital.

  Chapter 17

Charlotte’s POV

“How’s Max?” Nathan asked as soon as he saw me coming up the corridor.

“I think he’ll be alright,” I whispered. “I hope he’ll be alright.” Nathan pulled me against him and wrapped his arms tight around my shoulders. He kissed my forehead before turning back to go into Kelsey’s hospital room.

“We’re gonna head back to ours,” Nathan said, turning to Kelsey and Tom. “We’ll let you settle down for a couple of days before we come round and see the three of you.” Nathan made his way over to Kelsey and kissed Archie, who was in her arms, on the head before kissing Kelsey’s forehead. He hugged Tom and I hugged all three of them before picking Matty up and making our way out to the car park. “Hey, buddy, you coming back in my car or in mummy’s?” Nathan asked.

“Mummy’s,” Matty smiled and buried his head into my neck. “She has better music.” I couldn’t help but giggle.

“I told you that my music is better than yours,” I whispered. “We’ll see you at home then, yeah?” I asked Nathan and kissed him. Nathan hummed and nodded his head, pulling me closer to him and kissing me again. I started laughing when Matty started poking both of us in the cheek. “Alright, alright, we’ll get you back and daddy can teach you more stuff on the piano, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Matty cheered. I chuckled before giving Nathan another quick kiss. I tipped Matty upside down before placing him on the floor and walking in the direction of my car. I helped him up into his car seat and buckled him in. “When can I go back to my bed?” Matty asked. I knew he didn’t mean the bed in Nathan’s house.

“Look, Matty, I’ve always told you the truth, yeah?” I asked. Matty nodded. “We might not be staying up near Grandad anymore. We might be moving in with daddy.”

“Why?” Matty asked.

I rested my forehead on Matty’s car seat. “Because I love daddy.” I looked up to Matty and smiled. “You get to, hopefully, be near Connor and you’ll have Teddy with you all the time.” I raised my eyebrows hoping he wouldn’t kick up too much fuss. “And if mummy needs to buy you an electric car, she will.”

“Will you be there?” he asked. I giggled and nodded my head.

“Of course I’ll be there. When have I ever left you, Mattster?” I gave him a big kiss on the cheek.

“The other day you left me,” Matty whispered. He picked his bear off the car seat next to him. “I woke up and daddy said you were gone.”

“I’m sorry, Mattster,” I apologised. He looked quite upset about it. “Grandad needed me. I didn’t want to wake you up because we had a long day at the aquarium, remember?” I kissed his cheek and squeezed his hand. He nodded and sighed before picking up his toy that he’d left in the car earlier that morning. I shut his door and got into the driver’s seat, making sure that Matty was in the reflection of the mirror on my dash.

I love to see him while I’m driving. You can call me dangerous but I love knowing where he is and what he’s doing. Okay, I bet I turn into one of these obsessive mothers who wants to have control over where their kid is all the time. I don’t think the whole getting-back-together-with-Nathan thing won’t help when there are paps and press around all the time. The biggest fear I have is if Matty went missing. I mean, I’m surprised I ever left Matty with Nathan for the day or leaving him with the babysitter at the gig the other day or even just now when I dropped Max off at home. Well, I do trust Nathan, even after all this time, I still trust him. He shouldn’t trust me.

I pulled up on the drive to find Nathan’s car wasn’t there yet. I turned the engine off and relaxed back into the seat. I looked in the mirror and Matty was already unbuckling himself from his seat. “Calm down,” I laughed and turned around in my seat. Matty rushed even quicker to get out of his seatbelt and climb into the front seat with me. I noticed Nathan’s car pull up beside mine as Matty sat himself on my lap, taking the steering wheel in his hands and making car noises. “Do you want to drive it?” I whispered in his ear. His eyes went wide as he turned around to face me.

“Really?” he asked. I laughed and nodded.

“Just down the drive and back up again,” I chuckled. Nathan opened my door. “We’re going for a drive, coming?” I asked. Nathan looked confused. “Matty’s driving us down the drive and then back up.” Nathan smiled before closing the door and getting in the passenger seat. I turned the engine on and placed Matty’s hand on the gears to put it into reverse. I guided him on how to hold the steering wheel and I pulled my foot off the clutch slowly as I pushed my foot onto the acceleration pedal, placing my hands on the bottom of the steering wheel. It was only driving in a straight line but I felt Matty shaking from the nervousness in case he crashed my car. We pulled back up to my parking spot and I shut the engine off. “You just drove for the first time,” I cheered.

“Better than your mum,” Nathan chuckled. I lightly slapped his arm. “A lot better,” Nathan said before falling out of the car to get away from me.

“Let’s go get daddy, yeah?” I asked. Matty nodded his head and giggled. Nathan shut his door and ran up to the front door and let himself in as I lifted Matty onto the gravel. Matty chased after him as I closed my car door and locked it, running after the pair of them. I could hear Matty’s giggling coming from the living room and as I walked in, I saw Nathan tickling Matty in the middle of the room. I dropped my bag on the floor and ran over to Nathan taking him out and pinning him down on the ground. He sat up underneath me and I straddled his lap. “I think me and Matty are going to head back to ours tonight,” I said. “Matty misses his bed and all his stuff.” Nathan nodded his head, understanding that this was all a bit much for a four year old to understand. “You can come up to ours and stay for a bit if you want?” I asked, wrapping my arms around his neck and forgetting Matty was in the room. Nathan bit his lip, moving his hands to squeeze my bum.

“We’re going home?” Matty asked from beside me. I turned my head to face him and nodded.

“Do you want to go pack your stuff and I’ll come up and help in a bit?” I asked. Matty grinned and nodded, excited to be going home. I looked back to Nathan who looked a little gutted to say the least. “Hey, Maggot, it’s not because he doesn’t like it here. We all prefer our own homes and our own beds. Although, is that bed...” I pointed up to his bedroom. “... the one from our flat?” Nathan grinned and nodded. “It’s just like I remember.” Nathan pulled me closer to him, our bodies pressed together by his hands.

“It’s the comfiest bed I’ve ever owned and I wasn’t giving it up easily,” Nathan chuckled, his lips brushed against mine as he spoke.

“So, you were more determined to keep our bed than to keep me?” I asked, smirking as I said this. Nathan pulled away from me, looking hurt. “No, Nath, I didn’t mean .... I was kidding.” I climbed off his lap and he stood up. “Nathan, I didn’t mean it.” I quickly got to my feet and followed him into the kitchen where he opened the door to Teddy’s room. He let him out and then opened the back door for him.

“I know you were kidding,” Nathan smiled. “And you make a mistake once before you stop making the same one. I let you slip from my grip and I knew not to let anything that meant anything to me slip out of my grip as well.” He walked over to me and pushed me gently into the counter. “I don’t plan on letting you go again, just know that.” His hand made its way to my cheek as he pulled me in to kiss him. I wrapped my arms round his waist and buried my face in his chest. Nathan wrapped one arm around my shoulders and the other around my neck and head, brushing his hand through my hair and resting it against the back of my head. “I love you, so much.”

“I love you too,” I murmured into his chest, breathing in his scent. We stood there for what felt ages before one of us spoke again. “I should see how Matty’s getting on with packing,” I whispered, not making any move to leave Nathan’s grip. “Fuck, I’ve gotta pack all my stuff.”

Nathan laughed. “Me too,” he whispered. We both fell silent again. I never wanted this moment to end.

  Chapter 18

Charlotte’s POV

Niall: Fancy coming up to Cambs for the night? xx

Charlotte: You playing at Junction or Corn Exchange? Xx

Niall: Corn Exchange. You three wanna come see us? :) please? xx

Charlotte: As you’re begging ;) xx

Niall: Wicked, I’ve put you on the guestlist. You know where to go xx

“Nath, we’re going back to Cambridge for the weekend,” I shouted into the bathroom. “Can you come with us?”

“Ermmmm,” Nathan yelled back. “Let me finish showering cause I can’t hear ya properly.” I chuckled before pulling out a bag to pack some stuff in. I was all packed before Nathan had even finished in the shower, let alone in the bathroom. “What you saying?” Nathan asked, wrapping his arms around me from behind.

“Can you come up to Cambridge with us?” I smiled, letting Nathan nestle his face into my neck. “Niall’s performing and wants to know if we can go.”

“Yeah, we’re not due back in the studio for another few days,” Nathan purred into my ears. “We don’t have to go now, do we?” he asked, moving me to face him. I shook my head as I looked down to his lips. “When does he want us there?”

“Tonight,” I whispered, moving my head closer to him.

“And when does Max get back from Manchester with Matty and Connor?”

“In a couple of hours,” I smiled.

“Well, I think we have a lot of time to be 19 and 21 again,” Nathan winked, kissing me passionately. Nathan pulled my top up and over my head as I tore the button of my jeans and pulled them down my thighs, kicking them off. I fell back onto the bed as Nathan pulled my underwear down. He climbed over me and leant down to kiss me, moving his hand between my legs and inserting his index finger into me. I pulled his towel off from around him and pulled him closer to me. He slid another finger into me and smirked, feeling me buck my hips towards him. He gripped my waist with his free arm and moved me further up the bed; his fingers still worked as he did. He unwrapped his arm from my waist and slid his fingers out, positioning himself at my entrance, glancing up to my eyes for admittance. I bit my bottom lip and pulled his lips down to mine. He gently slid himself in, receiving a gasp from me. He grabbed my arsecheeks as he thrusted himself deeper. With his right hand, he started to lift my left leg higher, loving the new depth he could get on me. When he closed his eyes, I could tell he was concentrating on not coming before me. He suddenly changed his pace, becoming slower. I enjoyed it just as much and within a few minutes, he had me crying his name.

*

“Mummy!” Matty cheered as he ran through the front door. “Daddy!” he cheered even louder as he saw Nathan rush down the stairs.

“Alright, buddy,” Nathan laughed as he caught Matty midjump. Connor rushed in behind him with Max quick on their tails. Nathan waved to Max before placing Matty back on his feet and leading him and Connor through to the kitchen.

“We’re going in five minutes, Con,” Max called after Connor. He turned to me and rested his forehead on my shoulder. “I can’t keep doing this,” he breathed, exhausted from the past three months of driving to Manchester every Saturday morning and returning Sunday afternoon. “I’m fucking knackered.”

“Max, she’ll come round soon; trust me,” I reassured him. Bless him.

For the past seven months, he and Shell hadn’t been on the best of grounds. I knew it was nearly Christmas and he was hoping Michelle would forgive him by now so they could spend Christmas together in Manchester but I honestly didn’t think it would be this side of the New Year that she’d come around. I felt guilty and sorry for him so I couldn’t bring myself to say that. Shell had Lucy up in Manchester with her whilst Connor stayed with Max down in London. It was too late to find a school up in Manchester for Connor, so when Max couldn’t pick Connor up from school, I’d pick him up along with Matty.

I opened my arms and Max stepped into them, picking me up slightly in the hug. I let him stay there for as long as he needed. We didn’t move for ages and I saw Nathan come to the doorway of the dining room so I slightly shook my head to ask him to leave us for a bit longer. “Max, I’ll do what Jay did to me when I had the rough patch with Nathan after I kissed Harry at the Summertime Ball,” I whispered, having a flashback come back to me. Max pulled away from the hug slightly. I took his chin in between my index finger and thumb and kissed his lips gently. “Everything’s going to get better.” I gave Max another peck on the lips and then hugged him.

“Thank you,” he whispered, his voice getting caught in his throat slightly. “I love you, Titch.”

“I love you too, Max.” We stayed in this moment a bit longer.

Max pulled away after a few minutes and called Connor. “Come on, mate, you’ve got some reading to do before last week of school,” he called. He turned back to me. “Thank you again.” He kissed my forehead and ruffled my hair before Connor came running from the kitchen with Matty behind him and Nathan slowly following them. “Right,” Max chuckled as he picked Connor up off the ground. “You’ve got some reading to do before school tomorrow morning, so we’ve got to get you home to do that. I’ll see you tomorrow for the recording, Nath, yeah?” Max asked.

“Yeah, mate,” Nathan replied, grinning at Max and then at Connor.

Max turned to me and I knew automatically what he was going to ask. “Of course I’ll pick him up,” I smiled. Max sighed in relief before giving me another hug. He pulled Nathan in for a hug too and quickly left with Connor holding his hand. We waved them off. “Now, Mattster, we’ve got to pack your school clothes in your rucksack because we’re seeing Uncle Niall up in Cambridge tonight.”

“We haven’t seen uncle Niall in ages,” Matty grinned. Before I knew it, he’d ran up the stairs and into his room with his Manchester rucksack.

Yes, Nathan has gotten Matty really into supporting Manchester United. So, when Max was given three tickets to the game yesterday, he offered the last one to Matty. It was Man City vs Man U but Max had box tickets so it didn’t matter who you wore, it was just all about the game. That was my main worry; grown men taking the piss out of my little boy because he was a red and not a blue. I couldn’t care less about football so I wasn’t bothered who he supported, although I thought he’d pick a better team than Man U.

I’m not getting involved.

How long have me and Nathan been living together? It’s now been five months. It took a couple of months for me to convince Matty to live down in London. He desperately didn’t want to leave granddad by himself and he loved going to visit granddad and the dogs and taking Teddy round there but eventually – thankfully – he came around and missed Connor too much to say no to living with Nathan/daddy. I still have the house in Cambridge. Luckily the fans haven’t found out where we lived for those four years. We use it for weekends we decide to visit my dad or get away from everybody. Or even as an escape house for when the boys all want to rehearse for a new medley they want to play. They have all the instruments set up so why not.

*

“Hey Niall,” I smiled as Matty, Nathan and I walked into his and the rest of his band’s dressing room. Nicole was in the corner talking on her phone. She waved quickly before her attention was dragged back to the conversation her phone had her involved in.

“Hey,” Niall smiled before his eyes fell on Matty. “Hey, buddy,” he smiled with more enthusiasm. “Long time no see, dude.”

“I missed you uncle Niall,” Matty grinned as he ran up to Niall for a hug. “Nicole!” Matty squealed before attacking Nicole in a hug as she hung up on her phone.

“Hey, squirt,” she grinned as she lifted him up in the air. “Looking forward to your last week of school?”

“I’m having a party next Saturday,” Niall started saying to me and Nathan. I paid attention, knowing that Matty was fine in Nicole’s care. “Y’know, to celebrate the end of this three month tour. Please say you’ll come?”

I smiled at Niall. “Course we’ll come.” Nathan smiled too. “We love your parties,” I added. Niall breathed a sigh of relief. He was quickly dragged away for soundcheck with his bandmates where he insisted Matty went along with him, taking him off our hands. Nicole joined the band as she was doing promo shots for them and their website. “We should hold a Christmas party,” I suggested, taking the seat on the sofa where Niall’s drummer (Josh who also was the drummer for 1D too) was sitting previously.

“Can’t we just have a nice quiet Christmas?” Nathan whined. He hated throwing the parties I wanted. He’d already knocked down my New Year’s party as he wanted to spend it at his mum’s house with me and Matty. “We could head to my mum’s and just hang out there for a couple of weeks.”

“Nath,” I moaned, “we can’t be there all holiday. Let’s throw a Christmas party on like the Saturday before; that gives us two days to clear up before we head to your mum’s for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning before we head to my dad’s for the evening and Boxing Day.” Nathan groaned before falling over on the sofa and burying his head into the cushions. “Nathan,” I whined. “Please? To celebrate our first proper Christmas together?”

Nathan’s POV

I didn’t even realise that this would be our first proper Christmas together. Of course, I remember us getting together on Christmas day, but it was so warm and non-Christmassy that day, it never really felt like Christmas. I lifted myself off the sofa and looked into Char’s eyes. She was begging for me to say yes; to say yes to having a Christmas party with our friends and their families. But, Max would probably end up becoming depressed the whole night as it will most likely be only him and Connor there. The longer I stared into her pleading eyes, the more I found her eyes were becoming more seductive. I noticed her bite her lip as her hand moved to my thigh. She tilted her head as she ran her hand up my thigh and closer to my crotch. I gulped as I watched her hand. Lightly brushing over my crotch, she moved her hand up to my neck and pulled me close to her for a kiss. “Please?” she moaned. She moved her kisses to my jaw line. I groaned as she kissed down and to my neck. “Nathan,” she breathed. I couldn’t resist her. This wasn’t persuading me; it was turning me on. I turned my head to face her and pushed her backwards onto the sofa, pinning her by her waist. “Agree to the party and I’ll let you do whatever you want,” Char whispered in my ear, biting gently into my neck and sucking. I nodded, just wanting to be inside of her. She smirked as she reached down to the clasp of my jeans, unbuttoning it and pulling the fly down. She slid her hand underneath the waistband of my boxers and found my erection, pumping her hand up and down. I bit my lip, stifling any moans that escaped me. I wrapped my arm around her waist as I pulled her onto my lap, pulling my jeans and boxers down slightly for her to have easier access to. She smirked as she still pumped my dick but climbed off my lap and knelt in front of me, spreading my legs so she could position herself between them. She gently kissed me before leaning her head down and licking the tip of mine. I groaned as I rolled my head back, instinctively brushing a hand through her hair.

Girls certainly knew how to get their own way, didn’t they!?

  Chapter 19

Charlotte’s POV

I was nervous about Niall’s end-of-tour party. I knew Niall and Nicole were going to be there, along with Liam, Danielle, Zayn and Gabby. I wasn’t sure about Louis or Eleanor or even Harry. None of the kids were invited along, it was a strictly adults party. There would be alcohol involved and lots of it. Tom decided at the last minute that he was going to accompany us to the party, letting Kelsey have a quiet night in with Archie. I invited Max but he didn’t want to leave Connor, even after I offered to have Connor stay the night at ours with Jess. Jay and Lani had already headed to Nottingham for the weekend and Siva and Nareesha had already planned a romantic night out. So, it was just us three turning up at Niall’s house. The door swung open with a slightly drunk Zayn as we approached, his eyes smiling along with his mouth. “Char!” he sang as he rushed forward to give me a hug. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“I knew you’d be here,” I laughed, giving him a hug back. “I haven’t seen you since July, mate.”

“Me either. Come get a drink,” he ordered all of us. I took Nathan’s hand in mine as Zayn took my other hand and led us through to the kitchen. Niall was in there, chatting to a couple of the crew we met back in Cambridge. “Niall, Char’s here.”

“Hey, babe,” Niall waved, excusing himself from the people he was talking to. He enveloped me in a hug and kissed me on the cheek before moving on to give Tom and Nathan a hug. “You found it alright?”

“We got a taxi, so he knew where he was going,” Nathan explained. “Thanks for inviting us, by the way.”

“Thanks for coming,” Niall grinned, his attention caught over Nathan’s shoulder by Nicole. “I thought they’d be more of you.”

“The other’s already had plans,” Tom said. Niall and Tom grabbed a beer each before walking off and having their own conversation. I looked around the kitchen as Nathan handed me a drink.

“I love how panicky you get when you're around people you don’t know,” Nathan chuckled, pushing me to lean against the counter and wrapping his arm around my waist.

I started mimicking what he said but in a higher pitched voice. Think of his voice when he first started singing in TW. “I’m nervous more than panicky,” I mumbled, playing with his necklace. “I haven’t seen Harry since I first came down to yours the day after we met.”

“And what’s he going to do? Speak to you?” Nathan laughed. “Ooohhh, scary stuff.” I lightly hit him in the chest. “Sorry,” he laughed, kissing my forehead. “I’ll stop making fun.” He softly kissed me.

“Hi,” Harry said, appearing next to us. He reached behind me to grab a beer from the sink, which was full of ice. “I hear you’ve moved down to London now,” Harry said, looking down to his feet like a child.

“Yeah, moved down here a few months back,” I smiled, gently pushing Nathan’s arms away from me. I heard him make a sulking noise and ignored it. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” Harry smiled as he looked up to me. “You make it sound like I’ve just been in an accident.” Harry let out a chuckle which let a smile appear on my face. “How is ... um ... your kid? What was his name again?”

“Matty,” I sighed. “Yeah, he’s good. He started school part-time back in September. Same school as Max’s son, Connor.”

“Cool,” bringing that conversation to an end.

“Doing much for Christmas?” I asked. Nathan whispered something that I didn’t listen to before kissing me and walking off.

Nathan’s POV

I couldn’t watch that painful conversation. Char was forcing a conversation between the two of them, and even though I could see Harry lighting up more and more the longer they talked, I just couldn’t bear to watch it. I had to leave them. “I’ll catch you in a bit,” I whispered to Char before giving her a kiss and walking off to find someone I could have a conversation with. I headed off to find Tom and Niall. They were over in the living room by the window, talking as they watched the light snow that was starting to fall outside. As I walked over, Tom spotted me and started rushing his words and lowering his voice as I got nearer. “Alright?” I asked.

“Where’s your bird?” Tom asked, turning to face me properly.

“Talking to Harry in the kitchen,” I mumbled. Tom raised his eyebrows quickly. “They’re fine. She’s told me she doesn’t find anyone else attractive.”

“And I’m sure she’s telling you the truth,” Niall chuckled. “Girls say that but they are always checking out other guys. I catch Nic doing it all the time.”

I made an excuse to get back to the kitchen. Niall was wrong about Char though. She was still the same distance away from Harry and her eyes didn’t move from his face. Her eyes caught me and her smile grew bigger. I had nothing to worry about with Harry.

Charlotte’s POV

“I just invited Harry to our Christmas party next week but he’s going over to America for a couple of weeks,” I said to Nathan as he came and grabbed a drink. I saw his eyebrows shoot up into his forehead for a split second. I knew he wouldn’t want Harry coming to the party but Harry asked about my plans over Christmas and New Years and when I mentioned the party we were throwing, it felt mean not to invite him.

Harry obviously saw Nathan’s reaction to my statement so made an excuse to leave us and find someone else to talk to. “I’m quite glad he can’t make it,” Nathan muttered as he leant me back against the counter again.

“Can’t you be nice?” I asked, sighing. “He’s at his friend’s party where two of his ex-girlfriends are as well. Go a bit easier on him.”

“Only if you be easy for me,” Nath whispered in my ear. My mouth dropped at the innuendo. “We’re in a mate’s house and your ex-boyfriend is here. It’s turning me on.”

“Well, let’s find a free room then.” I winked at him.

Nathan let a grin spread across his face before he grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs. I felt like I was 17 again. Nath found an empty room and pulled me inside, flicking the lock before kissing me and removing my clothes. I was laying on the bed in just my underwear when Nathan developed a smirk. “What if I unlocked the door? Anyone could walk in and it would make it even better.” He was like a 17 year old boy. But who doesn’t like the risk of anyone being able to walk in and catch you doing the dirty? Nathan stripped his jeans and boxers off before removing my underwear then walking over to the door and flicking the lock again. Nath climbed back over me and scanned my face. “I love you,” he whispered, turning the mood back to romantic rather than lustful. I pulled his lips to mine and mumbled an “I love you too” back.

  Chapter 20

Nathan’s POV

Party day. The thing I was most glad about was that Max and Michelle were finally looking like they were on the mend. Michelle agreed to coming and was bringing Lucy. They both arrived together and as soon as Connor was through the door, he was off and up to Matty’s room. Char took Lucy into her and Shell followed her through to the kitchen. They were straight on the mulled wine. I grabbed a beer for me and Max and we headed for the living room. Tom, Kelsey, Archie, Siva, Nare and Lucas arrived next.

The party was going good and all the boys were playing together in the toy room while us adults and the babies were talking and drinking in the living room. Niall and Nicole showed up, bringing Liam, Louis, Zayn and their respective other halves and children. It was all a laugh and I knew I had to thank Char for persuading me. So I pulled her upstairs for a couple of minutes.

“This was a good idea,” I mumbled as I kissed her, the alcohol and the excitement taking over me.

“I know,” she giggled. She sounded as if it was a ‘duh’ thing to say. Her hands went down to my trousers and she pulled away from me to ask if it was alright. I mean, when wasn’t it alright? Her hands couldn’t have gone faster as I found my trousers undone and her fingers moving up and down my shaft. “I love you.”

“I know.” I smirked as I lifted her dress and pulled her underwear to the side. I knew to nibble her neck as I slid myself in, just to ease her a little and make it more sensual.

I could feel the heat from her skin, radiating onto me and vice versa. As I rested my forehead on hers, I could feel the light layer of sweat merging with hers. It was a warm, nice feeling and it felt so good. She grabbed onto the hair on the back of my head tighter as she was close to coming and I knew I was near. I was always near. “Don’t fake it,” I whispered and she let out a small giggle in my ear. She let out small whispers of orders, “faster”, “harder”, “deeper”. She made the cute little whimpering noises before her body was shaking against me and her orgasm took over her body, starting from the core. I kept going so she could ride it completely out and came as she was still pulsating around me.

“Mummy,” a little voice said at the door. “There’s a man asking for you at the door and uncle Max told me to come get you.”

“Okay, baby,” Char whimpered, her orgasm still not settling completely. “Give us a minute or so and we’ll both be down in a bit.”

“Uncle Max told me not to bring daddy down.” I pulled out of Char and quickly put her on her feet, pulling her dress down before working on doing my trousers up.

“Why’s daddy not allowed downstairs?” Char asked, walking over to Matty and kneeling in front of him. I could still hear her trying to catch her breath.

“What was daddy doing to you against the wall?” Matty asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

“You’ll understand when you’re older,” I chuckled. “Why am I not allowed downstairs, buddy?”

“Uncle Max told me to just get mummy and not daddy.” Matty shrugged as Char turned to face me, her eyes met my crotch before they made contact with my own eyes.

“Char?” Max called from downstairs.

Char bit her lip in thought, standing from the place she was kneeling. She stroked the top of Matty’s head before rushing off downstairs to see what all the fuss was about.

Charlotte’s POV

Max was standing at the front door, blocking it from whoever was standing outside. Max stood aside and I saw Harry standing there. His eyes were unfocussed. Teddy stood behind me, his head low and a growl slowly coming from his chest.

“Run away with me,” Harry suggested. He shifted his weight onto his other foot and nearly managed to lose his footing. “You, me and Matty can live somewhere else and be happy together.”

“Harry, no.” He was drunk. “I’m with Nathan and Matty is Nathan’s son. Go home, Harry.” I felt a presence behind me but knew it wasn’t Nathan.

“Come on, mate, let’s get you home.” Niall squeezed past me and went to pull Harry away from the house.

“No,” Harry sulked. “You knew where she was and you didn’t tell me. I hate you, Niall.” Harry pushed Niall away, falling to his knees as a result. “Char, I love you. I need you. I want to make you happy.”

“Nathan makes me happy.” I felt horrible but he really needed to come to terms. It’s been six years since we broke up; he needs to realise that Nath and I are together. “Let Niall take you home.” I went to turn away.

“Give me one more chance.”

“No!” I was stern and even Teddy cowered a little. “Go home, Harry.”

I headed back upstairs to find Nathan and Matty. Matty was in Nathan’s arms on the bed, watching Sky Movies Disney. Nathan patted the bed and opened his free arm to wrap around me. His nudged his nose into my temple before kissing it. “He’ll get over it,” Nath whispered into my ear.

  Chapter 21

Nathan’s POV

“No,” Char was mumbling from beside me. “No, no, no, no, no.” I turned over and saw her awake, her eyes wide with fear. She jumped up from the bed and ran out of the room. Thankfully, she was actually clothed this time. I went after her, following where she was going. Matty’s room. “Thank fuck,” she sighed, seeing our four year old still in bed.

“What was the matter?” I asked. I was a bit confused.

“I thought the spiders had taken him.” She was slightly slurring her words like she was drunk. I kept an eye on her as she headed back to the bedroom and went back to sleep. I laughed to myself; she was probably still a little drunk from last night. I watched her dose before she woke properly at 7am. “What are you laughing at?” she asked as she woke and heard me still chuckling at her.

“You don’t remember?” I asked. She looked at me and shook her head. “You woke up, ran to Matty’s room and then said “I thought the spiders had taken him”. You crazy old woman.” Char looked a little panicked. “What?”

“I dreamt that someone had taken Matty and about spiders chasing me.” She let out a giggle as she turned to me. “It was my worst nightmare.”

“I think it’s every parents’ nightmare.” I pulled her on top of me, pushing her hair behind her ears. She bent down and kissed me before there was a little knock at the door. “Come in.” Matty’s face appeared around the door with Teddy’s happy face beneath him. Char climbed off my lap and patted the spot in the bed between us. Matty quickly ran over and climbed into bed. “You’ve gotta pack for nanny Sykes tonight.”

“And then are we going to granddads?”

“Yeah, baby,” Char smiled, giving him a kiss on the cheek. She made a quick fuss of Teddy too. “Daddy still has to pack too so I’ll help ya.”

“But I like daddy’s way of packing.”

“The messy way of packing?”

I grinned. “Messy packing is way better than organised, boring, strategic packing.”

“Oh, look who’s using big words,” she teased, briefly glancing at my lips.

“Don’t act like you’re surprised by my vocabulary.” I smirked, wrapping my arm tight around her waist. “And you love it,” I purred into her ear.

“Not in front of Mattster.” She let out a giggle. I gave her a full, passionate kiss on the lips. “Nath,” she breathed.

“Go help Matty with his packing,” I chuckled, releasing my grip and pushing her in the direction to the side of the bed.

*

“Nanny Sykes!” Matty yelled in excitement as we pulled up. We’d barely stopped the car when he had the door open and his seatbelt unbuckled. He left the car and ran up to the front door, knocking the door down until mum answered. He leapt into her arms and she took him inside, not even looking back at us.

“I think I know who she’s happy to see,” I joked, turning the engine off.

“Oh come on, he’s her only grandchild and he’s still all shiny and new.” Char giggled and rested her head on my shoulder. “But come on, we need to get inside because ...” she turned into her Scottish accent “... it’s fookin’ cold!”

I couldn’t help but laugh. I opened the car door and headed to boot to grab our bags from the boot. Mum welcomed Char in but went off before I even locked the door.

“Oi, mum, don’t I get a hug and that?”

Mum smiled at me from across the living room. She opened her arms as she got up and walked over to me. “You were putting your bags in your room, and if I interrupted you, you’d get cranky.” I huffed, knowing she was right which caused a smile to cross her face. “Merry Christmas, baby boy.” She gave me a kiss on the cheek.

  I CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO WRITE ANYMORE SO HERE’S A LITTLE SYNOPSIS.

  They have a really good Christmas spending it mostly at Nathan’s mum’s house and then instead of Christmas day, they go over to Char’s dad’s place on Boxing day. New Year’s, Tom and Kelsey have a party at their place and this is the first year Matty and Connor are allowed to stay up so they’re proper excited.

Skip forward four months and Nathan proposes to Char. Nathan has bought the flat they had together and sets it out how he had when he was originally going to propose. Char says yes before even looking down at the ring and then becomes really overwhelmed by everything; the flat, the ring, the way everything looks how it was. That night, still to this very day, is in the top three nights she’s ever had.

A couple of weeks later and there’s a big engagement party thrown for the both of them. The boys and Nathan’s mum and Char’s dad have arranged it for them. A couple of hours into the party, Harry shows up. He’s bitter at first but then starts talking to one of the girls who is at the party. Throughout the whole party, Matty and Connor are all over the place and together. They split up when Matty says he needs the toilet and Connor’s pretty much got his face in the chocolate fountain. Nathan finds out that the boys and his mum and Char’s dad organised this whole thing so he takes a few minutes’ breather outside, getting teary from the fact he’s just learnt. Char goes out to see him and hugs him until he’s stopped tearing up. She tries to cheer him up properly and initiates their “what’s happened in the last six months” game, resulting in them laughing. They go back inside and try to find Matty. They assume he’s with Connor but when Connor is over in the corner with Michelle and Max, asleep in Shell’s arms, Char starts to get a bit worried as to where Matty has got to. A few people have left by now and Char’s checking up to see if anybody has seen if Matty left with someone.

After an hour of searching around the place and calling people, Char insists they call the police to file a missing person’s report. Being as it’s special circumstances, the police are very cooperative and take down the names of every person who was invited to the party and every person who showed up.

Two weeks later, Matty’s still missing and nobody has seen him. Char’s a mess, Nathan’s a mess and both are relying on each other to see the day through. Nathan and the boys had made a televised appeal for any information on his whereabouts but nobody comes forward.

A month after that an anonymous tip says that Matty is safe and happy but is missing home and cries about it, that the person responsible is willing to return him if no one sees who it is and if they wanted to press charges, they could. At first, Char refused Nathan to go because he would punch the person to death if it was a guy. After a couple of hours talking, Nathan had calmed down and they told the person that they would meet up but only if there was a couple of cops to arrest them if they wanted to press charges.

Charlotte’s POV

“Oh my God,” I cried as Matty came into the room. I fell to my knees and he ran into my arms. I held him in my arms and refused to let him go. Nathan knelt down next to me and took us both into his arms. “I’ve been so worried about you, baby. Never go out of my sight again, okay?”

“Okay,” Matty mumbled. I felt Nathan tighten his arms around me.

“He’s back, Nathan. Our little boy is back. He’s back. He’s really back.” I burst into a new wave of harder tears. I turned to face Nathan – Matty still tight in my arms – and cried into Nathan’s chest. “We got him back.”

“Yeah, we did,” Nathan cried into my neck. I briefly let go of Matty and he stayed stuck to our side. I turned back to him and took him in my arms again.

“It’s okay, mummy,” he whispered into my ear. “Uncle Harry looked after me. He bought me pizza and made me pancakes and read me bedtime stories and he let me watch Toy Story in 3D. Everything was reaching out to me.” I cried even harder. I heard the door open and close. I looked up and saw Harry standing there.

“Mattster, why don’t you go with Uncle Jay and he’ll take you home,” I asked as I pulled him away from me. Matty didn’t move. “Please Mattster. Mummy’s not going to be herself and I don’t want you to see me like this.” Matty looked from me to Nathan and then to Jay who was standing behind us. Matty wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed my cheek.

“I’m okay, mummy,” he repeated. I nodded and stood up, handing Matty over to Jay.

“Nath, go with him,” I said, trying to calm myself. Nathan locked me in his arms and kissed the top of my head before leaving, taking Matty’s hand in his.

When everyone had left the room, I turned to Harry. I stood there, staring at him for a few moments. I was so confused inside with my emotions that I had no words. I was so angry at him for taking Matty, I was relieved that he brought Matty back to me, I was sad that he would do this to me; I was a mess.

Harry took a step towards me. “Don’t you fucking dare,” I growled.

“I never meant for any of this to get like this,” Harry said. The way he was speaking made me feel like we were back in his flat, ending things between us. “I never meant for it to be like he’d been kidnapped. He looked shattered that night of your engagement party so I picked him up and offered to let him go back with me. I was going to tell you. I told Liam to tell you that I had him.”

“Well, he was absolutely hammered that night, you expect him to remember?” I yelled.

“Char, I would never kidnap him and hurt him.” Harry stepped closer to me. “I love you, I would never do anything to hurt you.”

“Why wouldn’t you ask me before you took him?” I asked, walking towards him. “Why not check with me?” I pushed his chest, wanting to hurt him as much as he hurt me. “A whole fucking six weeks you had him and you didn’t think, ‘maybe we should get Matty back to Char’?” I pushed him again.

“Hit me as much as you like Char; I deserve it.” Harry opened his arms wide. I didn’t hit him though. I took refuge in his arms and he knew as he wrapped his arms tightly around me as I buried myself in his body.

“I hate you, Haz,” I cried. “I hate you so much for taking the one thing that means most to me. For taking him and .... and ....” I couldn’t think of anything else.

Harry’s POV

I wanted her to hurt. She hurt me by leaving me and this was my way of getting back at her. But the way she was being, hurt me even more. She was genuinely upset and worried about her little boy and I was the one to make her feel like this. Why did I do this to her? I’d become a cunt just to make her feel my pain. Why the fuck would I do this to someone I love? Matty is the sweetest kid I know, and that’s with Liam and Danielle’s little boy in the running. I loved that kid and I took him away from her. “Char, I’m so sorry,” I whispered, lowering us both to the floor. She curled up on my lap and I continued to hold her.

“I’m only letting you hug me because I need a hug,” Char sobbed. I tightened my arms around her, wanting to make her safe. I kissed the top of her head and stroked her back, trying to stop her crying. It wasn’t working and I felt even worse as it continued. An hour later and it was just the two of us still sitting in the same position but without the noise of her cries. A sniff was made every now and then but other than that, the only sound in the room was our breathing, completely in sync with each other.

No other woman could make me happy like she did. I truly did love her, even if she never loved me as much back. I would give anything and everything to be the one having kids with her, buying her things she wanted, spoiling her rotten, making love to her in the early hours of the morning while the kids are asleep or while they’re at school. I’d love to be the one who takes care of her when she’s ill, dropping the kids off at school, taking the dogs for walks with her, making her cups of tea, making fun of her, kissing her, telling her everything I love about her when she has a bad day, watching films with her, cuddling her and the kids, taking them out for days at the beach, the zoo, the park, and taking them shopping, taking them on holiday, having Christmas with them and my family, kissing her at New Year’s, ending the year with her, starting a year with her. I just want her. But I can’t have her. She’s Nathan’s and I respect that but I hate the guy.

“Char,” I whispered, tracing her spine at the top of her back with my index finger. “I miss you and I love you. And if Nathan ever treats you badly, just know that I am here, willing to take you in and take in Matty as my own.”

“I’ll never leave Nathan,” Char whispered back, tilting her head up and kissing my neck. “It’s not just Matty that is his.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. Char smiled and let out a chuckle. Her hand went to her belly and she rubbed across it.

“Meaning I’ve got another Sykes on the way,” she whispered. I looked down to her, tears in my eyes. She was genuinely happy and I was happy for her. Yeah, I was gutted that she wasn’t going to leave Nathan but if he makes her happy, so be it. “Hey,” she said, watching the tear roll down my cheek and wiping it away. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” I said and wiped my face, still with one arm around Char. “I’m happy for you, honestly.”

“Think we’d still be together if nothing had happened?” she asked, playing with my top.

“Yep,” I sighed. This was killing me. The fact I made one mistake and it cost me the best thing that had happened to me. “I completely regret what I did, and if I could take it back, I would.”

I looked up as the door opened and Nathan came back into the room.

Nathan’s POV

I looked down to see Char curled up in Harry’s arms. The jealousy I felt six years ago was back.

Harry whispered something into Char’s ear which made her snap her head towards me.

Char’s POV

“Nathan’s here,” Harry whispered into my ear which made me snap my head in Nathan’s direction. “I mean every word I said. Every single word.” He kissed my temple. “I’ll stay out of your life though. I’ll only be around when you need me.” He wrapped his arms back around me and kissed my collarbone. “I really love you.”

Nathan came over to the both of us and offered me his hand. I took it and he helped me lift myself out of Harry’s lap. “Don’t come near us again, Harry,” Nathan warned, moving me behind him. “Honestly,” Nathan growled, “if you come near Char or Matty ever again, I will beat the shit out of you.”

“Nath,” I snapped. I pulled Nathan away from Harry. “Go back out of the room,” I whispered. “I’ll speak to him properly.” Nathan wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead. “Go,” I smiled. Nathan looked behind me at Harry and I felt a growl in his chest. Nathan left the room, scorning at Harry the whole way to the door. I turned back to Harry. “You can’t come near us again,” I sighed. “He’ll tear you apart. You’re lucky he’s not pressing charges. If it were me, I would just say to keep away from Matty but Nath doesn’t want you near any of us. I’m sorry.” I started to move away from Harry but he caught me around the waist and pulled me into him. “Harry, please don’t,” I whispered. He didn’t listen though and I felt my lips against his, kissing like we did all those years ago. I pulled away from Harry and left him standing there. I loved him still and it was killing me. Before I could reach the door though, I took a couple of steps backwards towards him before turning around and hitting his body against mine accidentally.

Harry smiled down to me as one hand went to the back of my neck and the other to my hip, pulling me into him for a deep kiss. He lifted me onto my toes while his hands held me by the small of my back. My hands made their way up into his hair, the short curls that made the quiff on the top of his head. “No,” a whisper came from my lips without my realisation. Harry pulled away from me slightly, resting his forehead against mine and connecting his green eyes with mine. My hands were still in his hair and he still had his hands on my back, pressing our bodies together. The only thing that wasn’t touching was our lips.

“Char,” Harry pleaded, “please.” I gulped and fought back the tears.

The Short Stories of Jayllie

Story summary:

This is a sequel to The Short Stories of Maythan so go and read that before starting this :)

So, Jay and Millie have moved in together but everyone else seems to be moving quicker than they are. Millie starts to double-think herself.

Did she make the right choice in falling for Jay? Or should she have tried to make something more happen with Nathan?

  1. LA welcoming

Millie picked up her luggage from the luggage conveyor belt. She had a small suitcase and a fairly big bag on her. She walked away to the arrivals’ pick up area. As usual, LA was gorgeous and sunny outside. Thankfully, she’d changed into shorts and a light top on the plane just before they landed. It was bitter and cold in London so Millie had boarded the plane in skinny jeans and a hoody. As she followed the crowd towards the exit, she saw people standing around with various signs made for the people they were picking up. She glanced around and saw a few young looking girls holding signs and banners with her name on them. She walked straight over to them.

“Heya girls,” she grinned. She hugged all of them as there was only a group of six of them. “What are you doing here?” She had her arm still around one of the girls.

The one with Millie’s arm around her spoke. “We came to see you,” she giggled. The other girls nodded in agreement at Millie.

“But none of the boys are going to be here to pick me up, so why travel to the airport to just see me?” Millie always found it a bit ridiculous that people were always just as happy to see her as they were to see the boys. She noticed one of the girls recording the whole thing on her iPhone so she started to pull faces at the camera.

“Well, we like you,” a redhead said. She was standing next to the girl with the iPhone. “We’ve seen you on some of the flips and you’re Tom’s sister and we all completely ship Jayllie!”

“Jayllie?” Millie asked. She couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped her mouth as she said this.

“Jay and Millie.” A girl with dip-dyed hair piped. “Your ship name is Jayllie. And you’ve taken over the Sade and Tomsey ships.”

“But what about Nathan?” The girl with Millie’s arm around her asked. “He’s been seen with a girl while they’ve been in New York a few times. Is anything going on there?”

Millie chuckled. “I can’t say anything about the other relationships,” Millie shrugged and winked at the girls. “My tongue is tied. Honestly, they’d all kill me if I said anything.” Millie bit her top lip to restrain herself from saying anything more.

“You want to tell us everything, don’t ya?” A girl with bleach blonde hair and quite heavy eye makeup giggled. Millie bit harder down on her bottom lip. She wanted to reveal everything but she couldn’t. Nathan had pretty much begged Millie not to say anything about him and Brittany. Tom had asked her to “keep her gob shut” about his proposal to Kelsey and Siva and Jade didn’t have anything different going on.

“There’s nothing different going on,” Millie smiled. She winked at the girls again. They asked for pictures and messages to be recorded for them and/or their friends before Millie made her way out to the taxi rank.

  2. Tom needs to stop cock-blocking

“Oh my god! It’s Jay from the Wanted!” Millie squealed in amongst the other girls who were trying to get his attention outside. Jay chuckled but didn’t turn around. The other girls around her started to laugh. “Jay! Jay! Can you take me to your hotel room?” She squealed again. At this point he turned around with a grin on his face. He saw Millie and ran straight over to her, picking her up in his arms. She giggled as Jay buried his head into her neck.

“Hey beautiful,” Jay murmured before planting a kiss on her neck. Jay gently placed her back on the ground and turned to the fans he was hanging out with. “Sorry ladies, but my girl is here now.” Millie smiled when he called her his girl. “Now, if you’ll kindly let me, I’m going to spoil her.” He turned back to face Millie and rubbed his thumb on her cheek.

“By spoil, you mean shag her brains out?” A fan yelled. This caused everyone to laugh, including Jay and Millie.

Jay nodded at Millie and she bit her lip as she blushed slightly. Jay leant down and picked both her suitcase and bag off the floor. He wrapped an arm around Millie and led her into the hotel. They took the lift up to the third floor and walked along the long corridor for a bit. Jay pulled his hotel key out of his pocket and swung the door open.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Jay said as he shut the door and placed her suitcase and bag on the floor. Millie sat down on the end of his bed and leaned back.

“I’ve missed you more, Bird,” Millie smiled.

Jay stood at the end of his bed and pulled Millie up towards him. She was raised slightly off the bed as Jay held her in his arms. Their lips brushed against each others as Jay teased her. Millie grabbed onto his t-shirt and pulled herself into him. Jay pushed her into the bed and grabbed at anything he could get his hands on, which was mainly her arse and breats. He peeled her top off and unhooked her bra, flinging it to the side. She became irresistible to him. The three weeks apart from each other was starting to show as they both wanted each other as much as the other. Jay took one of her erect nipples in her mouth and sucked hard. He trailed kisses down her stomach until he came to the top of her shorts. He unclipped the button and slid them slowly down her legs. Jay rubbed Millie over her underwear as she started to moan and become wetter.

Bang, bang, bang!

“I don’t care what you’re doing, Bird,” came Tom’s voice the other side of the door. “I want to see my little sister.”

  3. It’s the meaning

Millie let out a groan. Jay rolled his eyes at Millie. “You had to be related to him,” Jay laughed. Millie quickly went around the room, grabbing her clothes, and went into the bathroom to freshen up. Jay opened the door and let Tom into his room. “She’s getting dressed,” Jay smirked as Tom turned around to ask where Millie was.

Millie appeared a minute later. Tom swept her up into his arms and twirled her around. He put her back on the floor and ruffled her hair. “Did you bring the ring with you?” Tom asked Millie. He looked like a kid waiting for his main birthday present to be presented to him. Millie rolled her eyes and went over to her bag she took on as hand luggage. She unzipped it and went into a very padded compartment at the side. She pulled out the navy blue case and handed it to Tom. He opened it up to reveal a platinum, simple styled, diamond engagement ring. He lightly ran his finger over it and grinned. “Thank you, Mils.” Tom pulled Millie in for a hug.

“She’s going to love it,” Millie said, nearly in tears. She pulled away from Tom who had tears filling his eyes as well. Millie let out a laugh which sent her tears over her eyelids and running down her face. “What’s the engagement plan?”She asked while she wiped her face.

“Oh I’ve got a massive surprise planned out,” Tom chuckled sarcastically. He wiped his eyes dry and started to laugh. Millie pulled an unimpressed face and hit Tom on the arm. She pleaded for him to tell her. “I’m actually just gonna wing it.” Tom grinned at Millie.

“You can’t do that!” Millie complained. “You need to make it special; make it mean something.”

Tom exchanged looks with Jay. “Millie,” Tom slid the navy box into his pocket. He grabbed both of Millie’s shoulders and looked at her. “Kelsey won’t want anything fancy. At the end of the day, this is just something to say she wants to spend the rest of our lives together. And I’ve known that I wanted to be with her since the night I met her at our house warming party. She was stunning, she was funny, and she was ... she is the person I can see myself raising kids and grandkids with and growing old with. Isn’t that the important thing; not going around trying to make a big show out of a miniscule event in our lives?”

Millie went silent. She hadn’t thought of it like that. “I suppose you’ve got a point.” Millie sighed. She looked back to Tom. “Just don’t whack it out in the middle of the street, will ya?” Tom and Jay laughed at this comment as their filthy minds thought of something other than the ring.

“We don’t want him whacking it out either,” Jay laughed, holding his stomach. Millie pushed both of them lightly and sat back down on the bed.

“So immature,” she muttered but was laughing within a matter of seconds at thinking of what she’d said.

  4. Teasing Millie

Tom managed to get Millie and Jay out of their room and dragged them down to the bar in the hotel. Millie hugged everyone. Max kept her in the longest hug, rocking her side to side. This left her in giggles. He was already tipsy; typical Max. Millie sat herself down on Jay’s lap on one of the sofas the others had managed to get. They were in their own little world though. All they wanted to do was get back up to that hotel room and not give a rat’s arse about anything outside of it. Jay kissed the skin around Millie’s ear while rubbing her thigh casually. Millie was very turned on by this and it wasn’t helping.

“The things I want to do to you,” Jay whispered into her ear. As his lips were brushing her ear, he barely had to whisper and she heard every word. His husky voice that he was using right now made her shiver. She could feel herself instantly become wet just from that. “You wouldn’t need your top,” he continued. He ran one hand up her back, along her spine. “You wouldn’t need your shorts.” He lightly tugged on one of the belt loops on her shorts. He tugged lightly on her earlobe with his teeth as he ran his hand up her side and rubbed his thumb across her bra. “You definitely wouldn’t need that.” He was almost purring in her ears. She tried to take her mind off him and ignore everything he was saying but she couldn’t. Everything he was doing was keeping her distracted from the conversation going on around them. He ran his hand down her spine and slid a finger beneath the hem of her underwear. “And those,” Jay whispered. “They would be ripped off.” Millie closed her eyes at this point, trying to imagine something other than Jay ripping her clothes off. “Imagine the things I could do with these.” He lightly ticked her stomach above her shorts and her side by her bra with the tips of his fingers. She gulped as she felt her clit throbbing. All she wanted right now was to have him inside of her. Jay softly chuckled in her ear. He flicked his tongue against her earlobe. “My tongue can do more than that,” he chuckled. “Imagine me doing it against your clit. Imagine the same tongue sliding in and out of you.”

“Fuck it,” Millie said and stood up from Jay’s lap. This caused everyone to turn round to face them. She grabbed Jay’s hand and started to drag him out of the bar area. “We’ll be back in a bit,” Millie shouted to the rest of them behind her. Tom pulled a disgusted face while the rest of them chuckled.

  5. Barely in the door

Jay kicked the hotel room door shut and pushed Millie up against the small wall that was between the room door and the bathroom door. He hovered his lips over hers as he unbuttoned her shorts. He slowly pulled down the zip and pushed them off her hips. They fell to the floor once they were off her hips. He pulled her head to his and kissed her roughly, forcing his tongue into her mouth. She kissed him just as hard back and clawed at his t-shirt. She pulled it off of him, pulling away as she slipped it over his head. Jay unclipped her bra and let it drop to the floor. He slowly lifted her top up and lifted her arms up as he took it off her. He smiled as he made his way down her body, kissing, nibbling and licking at various intervals. He reached the hem of her underwear and ripped it clean off with his teeth. They hadn’t moved an inch away from the wall between the room door and the bathroom door. Jay lifted one of Millie’s legs over his shoulder and dove straight in with sucking and licking her clit. She tangled her fingers in his curls as he sent her body crazy with little shocks of pleasure riding up through her abdomen. He lifted her other leg over his shoulder as he completely supported her. He moved his tongue inside of her as he controlled how her hips moved. She couldn’t control the moaning escaping her mouth. She’d been waiting for this kind of attention for three weeks. She was going to make every second count and let him know how much he pleases her.

“Fuck, Jay!” She moaned as she felt herself reaching her climax. Her legs pulled Jay into her as she reached the peak of her orgasm. Jay licked up every bit of her as she relaxed back into the wall. Her breathing was still heavy and she realised that Jay was still in his boxers and shorts. He moved her legs so that she was supporting herself. Feeling completely underdressed, Millie turned them both around so that he was leaning against the wall as she unbuttoned his shorts and pulled them down along with his boxers. She got on to her knees and kissed her way down the shaft of his cock and licked it all the way back up. She took his head into her mouth and moved her lips up and down. He groaned and put his hand on the back of her head. When he felt close to coming, he lifted Millie up, slammed her into the opposite wall and pushed himself deep into her. She clawed at his back and screamed with pleasure. “Oh, God! Jay!” Millie screamed as she came. She felt Jay release inside of her a couple of seconds into her orgasm.

­­­6. Tandem on Venice

“Come on, Mils,” Max laughed. “It will be fun.” Max was suggesting that they get a tandem bike and ride around Venice beach. Millie was flat outright refusing. Max ended up grabbing her by the waist and chucking her over his shoulder. He walked up to the guy renting them out and handed him $15. “You’ve got no choice,” Max chuckled as he sat on the bike. Millie crossed her arms and huffed.

“I hate you, Max!” She tried to keep a hard look on her face but Max grinned at her and she couldn’t help but smile. “We look like a fucking couple,” she mumbled.

“You wish we were a fucking couple,” Max chuckled and winked at her. Millie pushed his shoulder lightly and rolled her eyes. She climbed onto the bike and before she could even get her feet on the pedals, Max was starting to pedal off. As it was Max’s idea, she decided he could do the pedalling. She took her feet off the pedals every now and again and watched him struggle to pull the both of them along.

Max was blabbing on about something which she wasn’t listening to. She had her phone in her hand and was scrolling through Tumblr. She searched through the ‘Max George’ tags and already saw a picture of the both of them on Tumblr. Fuck these girls could work fast. She took a picture of the back of Max, trying to fit in him pedalling. She uploaded it straight to Tumblr and added ‘Max George’ as a tag. This was the moment that she let them know that she had been creeping on them the whole time. The fans hadn’t found her Tumblr which she was quite thankful for. She didn’t have anonymous questions on so she could block any users who sent her any form of hate.

300 followers.

400 followers.

500 followers.

600 followers.

“Millie, are you even pedalling?” Max asked. He looked over his shoulder to see Millie with her feet off the pedals, phone out and one hand on the handlebar. She looked up as she noticed the bike stop.

“Why are we stopping?” She asked, slipping her phone back into her pocket and pulling a confused face at Max.

“You’re not pedalling!” Max laughed. “You’re spoiling it.”

Millie made a noise best described as the noise a dying whale might make. “I wanna go back to my room!” She whined.

“Jay’s not there so why do you want to go back?” Max chuckled at his own joke. Millie glared at him before climbing off the bike and walking back down Venice beach.

  7. Drunk kisses

Loud music and alcohol. Millie was happy. She had both and her boyfriend dancing dirty with her. He was awful at it which made the mood not sexy but giggly instead. Millie couldn’t stop laughing at the way Jay tried to grind his hips. In public, he was terrible at any form of moving his hips but behind closed doors, he blew Millie’s mind. After only a couple of hours in the club, Millie and Jay left the others and made their way, sloppily, back to the hotel. Paps followed them all the way back. As the hotel was only a short distance away, they decided to walk it; Millie’s heels weren’t hurting her feet so why not?

“All the interesting shots were in the nightclub,” Millie giggled as she chatted away to the paps. “Jay’s awful dancing, Max’s three-way with a set of twins, Tom and Kelsey getting it on in the toilets.”

“Shh, Mils,” Jay drunkenly slurred. “They’ll kill you if they hear what you’re telling this lot.” Millie turned to face Jay and shrugged. “And my dancing is not that awful.”

“You’re dirty dancing is.” Jay took Millie up into her arms which left her feet dangling off the ground by a couple of inches. Millie giggled softly at the face Jay had on. “But that’s a miniscule reason as to why I love you,” Millie slurred. Jay grinned and kissed Millie. He slowly lowered her to the ground as they continued to kiss, ignoring all the paps around them. “Along with a million other reasons.” Jay smiled as he kissed her again.

“I wouldn’t even know where to start with why I love you,” Jay smiled. They kissed for a bit longer while some of the paps decided they’d got enough shots and left them in their peace. There were still a couple of paps waiting for them to head back to their hotel but they went off to the side for a bit. “Get on my back,” Jay laughed.

“That’s a new one,” Millie giggled and held her bag up to her face, trying to stop herself giggling from Jay’s reaction. Once she’d calmed down a little, she jumped on Jay’s back and he carried her home. “Jay,” she whispered about two minutes into the walk. “My bum’s out.” Jay dropped Millie on to her feet and he took his jacket off. Millie tied it around her waist so it was longer than her dress. “Thank you,” she sang and kissed Jay before she climbed back on to his back.

  8. Boobs don’t make honking sounds

Before they’d even got up to their floor of the hotel, Jay had taken his top off and tucked it in his back pocket. He now had Millie in the bridal position and announcing down the corridor that “I am going to marry this drop dead gorgeous girl!” Millie kissed his cheek. They reached their hotel room door and Jay couldn’t reach into his wallet – which was in his back pocket – to get the key out. Millie reached her hand down beside her and around to his back pocket and pulled his wallet out. She found the key and unlocked the room door. Jay shut the door using Millie and she locked it.

“Team work!” Millie yelled and was set off into a new set of giggles. Jay sat her on the dressing table, knocking a bunch of her makeup on to the floor. Millie shrugged and pulled Jay into her. Jay bent down and slowly unstrapped her heels. He took them off as he kissed along her feet. He kissed up the inside of her leg, stopping about mid-thigh where his jacket was. He started to kiss from the top of her dress, up her chest, along her collarbone and up her neck. He pulled her off the dressing table and over to the foot of the bed. Millie took his jacket off from around her waist and chucked it on the floor. Jay sat on the bed while he watched Millie slowly unzip her dress. It was one of those bodycon dresses with a zip that runs down the front of the dress. She only half-unzipped it and straddled Jay’s lap. Jay started to kiss her breasts as he unzipped the rest of her dress, removed it from her shoulders and let it fall to the floor behind her. She reached between her legs, unbuttoned his trousers and he pulled them down along with his boxers. Jay ripped her thong off and chucked it away. “Am I going to go home with any underwear?” Millie laughed. Jay bit his lip and shook his head.

“I’d prefer it if you never wore any,” he murmured as he went back to kissing her chest. He squeezed one of her breasts in his hand. He stopped kissing her chest and leant away a little, still squeezing her breast. “I was so disappointed when I found out these don’t actually honk.” He started to make honking sounds as he squeezed. Millie became completely embarrassed and pushed his hand off her. She then hid her face in her hands and couldn’t stop laughing. Jay started to giggle and lay back on the bed.

“I hate you, Bird,” Millie now giggled. Jay sat up again and kissed Millie.

“I didn’t realise that was the reason you came to LA.” Jay chuckled as he kissed her. Millie moaned into his mouth. She raised herself a little and slid down onto Jay’s erection, causing her to moan more. “Millie,” Jay whispered into her ear. He chuckled slightly. “Millie.”

“Yeah,” she moaned. “What?”

“I just love saying your name.” He kissed her chest, breathing against her skin. “My Millie.” This time he was smiling as he kissed her.

  9. Looking at room service

The lads and the girlfriends were having quiet nights in their hotel rooms as it was the last night in LA. Brittany had flown to LA a couple of days ago and was staying here a bit longer than the rest of them. Max went out with a few friends he’d made at the recording studio and he was planning to have a hangover for the flight tomorrow. Siva and Jade went out for a meal and came back about 11 for a romantic night in. Tom and Kelsey were off for dinner too. Jay and Millie stayed in their room and ordered room service.

“Can we order everything?” Jay asked as he looked over the room service menu. Millie was kneeling beside him and couldn’t stop kissing his cheek.

“You’re paying,” she smiled as she whispered in his ear. “As long as there’s some meat on there. You’re not ordering just the vegetarian dishes.”

“Murderer,” Jay teased.

“No, hungry!” Millie growled. Jay lightly elbowed her away but she lost balance and went backwards. Jay dropped the menu on the bed and grabbed her arms, stopping her from falling off the bed. “You are the murderer!” Millie pulled herself back on to the bed properly. “Trying to kill me?” Jay laughed and pinned her on the bed.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, babe,” Jay grinned.

“Babe!” Millie mocked.

“Shut up.” Jay laughed and kissed Millie. He sat back up on the bed properly and picked up the menu. “What do you want?”

“I already said, anything with meat in it.” Millie looked at the menu over Jay’s shoulder. She scanned it and came across something that she was craving to have as soon as she read it. “Steak!” Jay looked at her, eyebrows raised. “A nice very rare steak.” Millie grinned at Jay, sticking her tongue between her teeth.

“Someone won’t be getting kisses tonight,” Jay sang. He turned his attention back to the menu.

“I’ll just have my kisses now then.” Millie turned Jay’s face to hers and gently kissed his lips.

  10. I don’t deserve you

Millie and Jay were stuffed. They ended up ordering a bunch of food from room service which would cost Jay a bomb. They’d finished eating but there was still dessert to have. Millie groaned and held her arms against her stomach. “I’m going to be sick,” she moaned but felt herself starting to giggle.

“What has gotten into you today?” Jay chuckled as he laid on his side next to Millie. Millie shrugged and started to giggle again.

“I don’t know,” she tried to hold back the giggles. “I’m just proper happy today.” Jay brushed her hair out of her face with his fingers. He kissed her nose and then rested his head on his hand. “I don’t deserve you.”

This was a bit out of the blue. Jay shook his head in disbelief. “Never think that, Mils,” he said. “If there’s one person in this relationship who doesn’t deserve the other, it’s me. I mean, everyone knows it.” Jay wrapped his arm around Millie’s waist. “You’re gorgeous, amazing,” he planted a kiss on her lips. He lowered his voice as he purred, “sexy.” He kissed her again. “Beautiful, confident, strong, flexible, friendly, charming.” Millie blushed and buried her face into the bed. “Have I mentioned gorgeous and amazing?”

“Stop it,” Millie smiled into the duvet. She moved the duvet so her eyes were the only thing that was showing on her face. Jay moved so his face was next to hers. He started to kiss her forehead. He moved his lips down the bridge of her nose and she moved the duvet to accommodate him. All of her face was unhidden now so he kissed down her nose. He kissed her lips and pulled her against him. They were distracted by a banging on the door. Millie gave Jay one last kiss before rolling off the bed and going over to the door. She opened it to see Kelsey standing the other side.

“Tom proposed!” She squealed as threw herself into Millie’s arms. “He proposed!” Millie squeezed Kelsey in her arms.

“More like you said yes!” Millie chuckled. Tom appeared at the door a few seconds later.

“So you go to my sister first?” Tom asked, trying to stifle a laugh. “She said yes, Mils.” Millie let go of Kelsey and hugged her brother. Kelsey jumped on the bed and put herself in Jay’s arms.

“Congrats, Pecker,” Millie laughed. Tom couldn’t keep still though. He was so excited that Kelsey said yes. Kelsey climbed back off the bed and hugged Millie again. “We already knew he was going to propose.” Millie grinned and Kelsey pulled a playful pouty face.

“How long have you known?” Kelsey asked. She slid her arm through Millie’s arm and pulled her out of the room, taking them for a short walk around the hotel.

“Let’s just say that I went shopping with him for the ring about two months ago.” Millie bit her lip waiting for Kelsey’s reaction.

“Two months ago?” Kelsey asked calmly. “And he’s only just proposed?”

“The ring didn’t get back to the jeweller’s until the day after he left for here. So that was a month ago.” Millie grinned. “I had to bring it over here. Why’d you think he ditched you as soon as he heard I was in LA?” Millie raised her eyebrows at Kelsey. Kelsey rolled her eyes and lightly pushed Millie with her shoulder.

11. Celebration

Millie and Kelsey had walked around the hotel for a bit before heading back to Millie and Jay’s room. Siva, Jade, Nathan and Britt had joined Tom and Jay by now. Max was still out. Millie sat down on the floor underneath the TV mounted on the wall. Nathan was sitting beside her.

“Mils,” Nathan whispered, catching her attention from the conversations happening around the room. Britt and Jay were getting into a discussion about different films and criticising each others’ choices. “I’m getting a flat in New York.” He had a stupid smile on his face.

“Really?” Millie asked, slightly confused. She wasn’t exactly the fastest thinking person in the room. “Why’s that?” Nathan laughed which caused Kelsey, Tom and Jay to turn to look at him.

“Who lives in New York?” Nathan asked her.

“Well, soon you will.” She grinned at him and then pulled an ‘are you going to explain?’ face at him.

“Britt lives in New York. It means I won’t have to be paying for a hotel all the time whenever I come to visit.” Nathan rolled his eyes at Millie.

“Why are we in our hotel?” Tom asked, kneeling up on the bed. “Why aren’t we joining Max and getting rat-arsed?” Jay, Siva, Jade and Kelsey all cheered.

“We should be celebrating my engagement!” Kelsey sang. She had a grin on her face. “Come on, let’s get changed into going out clothes and we’ll meet downstairs in an hour.” Everybody agreed and left Millie and Jay’s room. Nathan was last to leave so he shut the door behind him.

“So, what dress will I be taking off you tonight?” Jay asked Millie. He grinned when Millie turned round to face him and pushed him onto the bed.

“I swear James McGuiness, if you rip another pair of my underwear, I will cut your manhood off!” Millie threatened. Jay shot his hands to his crotch to protect it.

“You wouldn’t.” He chuckled.

“Try me.” Millie had a look of menace in her eye. “Then once I’ve cut it off, I’d stick it up your arse!”

Jay laughed. “How do you know I won’t like it?”

“Will you?” Millie chuckled softly. Jay took her hands in his as he stood up.

“Well, I had to split Jaythan up when you moved into the house.” Jay grinned. Millie rolled her eyes and pushed him back. She took her clothes off and headed for the bathroom.

12. Arriving back in London

The boys, Millie, Jade and Kelsey landed back in London. The boys stayed and saw a load of the fans. The girls carried straight on and climbed into the minivan. They had to wait an hour before the boys were dragged over to the minivan. Jade, Kelsey and Millie took up the three seats at the back. None of them were moving for any of the boys. Tom ended up climbing over Kelsey and Millie so he could sit on a bit that was slightly raised above the other seats. Max didn’t want to be left out so climbed over Millie to join Tom. They both took their tops off. Tom chucked his down to a spare seat in the middle of the van whereas Max tormented Millie by dangling it on her head.

“Fuck off, douchebag!” Millie giggled and hit him in the leg.

“No hitting each other,” Martin called from the front of the van. Millie made a face to the back of Martin’s head which caused Kev, Jay, Seev and Nath to laugh.

Jay was sat in the seat in front of Millie. She put her arms around the seat so that her hands were resting on his chest. He lifted her hands to his lips and kissed them. She sat slightly out of the seat so that she was by his ear. “Where are we going now?” She whispered in his ear.

“Radio 1,” he whispered back, turning his head to face her. She slowly kissed him.

“Eurgghhhhhh,” Tom yelled. “Ewwww, Martin I’m going to be sick!” Millie stopped kissing Jay and turned around to face Tom. She took her fist and hit him in the stomach. He laughed it off and grabbed her wrists. “Mils, I’d rather you didn’t kiss Bird in front of me.” Millie rolled her eyes. She couldn’t think of a good comeback. She sat down in her seat, arms crossed, and didn’t speak to anyone for the rest of the journey to the BBC Radio stations.

  13. De-stressing

Millie still had another three days off of work. Jay had to go back straight to work. It was quite stressful. All the lads were tired and this resulted in them all being moody. Arguments started over the smallest of things. The last day Millie had off before she returned to work, she had only received moody texts from Jay all day. She was really feeling the love from him ... not! She ended up just ignoring any texts she got from him; switching her phone on silent. She was going to spoil him instead. He needed a nice, relaxing night where he got to sleep early and slept until he woke up rather than his alarm waking him up a couple of hours after he drifted off. He was planning to leave the studio at 6pm so he would be back at their house by 7pm at the latest. Millie ordered Indian in and made the living room into a kind of den area with cushions all over the place and blankets. She set the Indian up on the coffee table and had beers cooling in the fridge. Jay walked in just before 7pm and threw his bag on the floor. He was pissed off from Tom’s voice in his ear all day. All he wanted to do was have something to eat, a beer and then to doze off.

Millie came out the living room to see how moody Jay was. She felt a pang of sympathy for him. She had been lazing around the house for the past three days while he had to go into the studio and deal with the other four. She knew Tom would get on his nerves as he always bugged her when she was jet-lagged or even hungover. Jay saw Millie and his mood brightened slightly. She always bought a smile to his face and he did the same to hers. Millie walked over to Jay and wrapped her arms around his neck and planted a long kiss on his lips.

“Food’s in the living room,” she said in a hushed voice as they pulled away from each other, creating a gap between their bodies. Jay bit his lip and started to smile. “I’ll go and get you a beer. You look like you need one!” Millie giggled.

“I love you,” Jay whispered as he pulled Millie back into him. “You’re the most perfect girl I could have.” Millie blushed as she pulled out of his grip. “Even if you make me one of the most sexually frustrated guys in the world.” She stuck her tongue out at him as she opened the door to the kitchen. It swung shut as she made her way over to the fridge. She pulled the door open and pulled two beers out. She placed them on the side and flicked the tops off of them with the bottle opener. She made her way into the living room where Jay had made himself comfy. She handed him a beer and sat down on a pile of cushions next to him. “Thank you, Mils,” he said and leant in to Millie to kiss her again.

  14. Further de-stressing

“Oh my god, I’m dying,” Millie groaned as she crossed her arms over her stomach. She laid back on the floor and groaned again. Jay chuckled at how Millie was reacting.

“You shouldn’t have eaten all your biryani then,” Jay continued to chuckle. Millie kicked him lightly in the leg. He grabbed her foot and pulled her towards him. “I feel fine,” he grinned and pulled Millie on to his lap. “Thank you for all of this,” he said as Millie straddled his lap. He ran his hands up her thighs, teasing her by pushing his thumbs harder on her inner thigh and stopping before reaching the top of her thigh. Jay was leaning against the bottom of the sofa so Millie pushed him against it more with her hips, slowly grinding herself against him. “This is what I mean about sexually frustrating me. You’re the biggest tease I know.” His voice shuddered as he tried to control himself. Millie bit her lip and slowed her pace.

“Should I just go to bed then?” She asked, coming to a stop. She could feel a large bulge under Jay’s jeans. Jay shook his head as he unbuttoned her shorts.

“And leave me down here by myself and all horny?” Jay asked, sliding the zipper down. He leaned Millie on to her back and pulled her shorts down her legs slowly, slipping them over her ankles. He pulled her back up to him so they were back in their original position. Jay traced the patterns on Millie’s underwear, tracing lower and lower until he met wetness. “Well, someone’s just as horny as me!” Millie sharpened her look on Jay and cocked her head to the side. “You’re wetter than Niagara Falls!”

“That’s a horrible way to put it!” Millie giggled.

Jay lightly grazed his teeth against her collarbone. He pulled her down to him and kissed her lips. He planned on making her beg for him. Maybe it will make up for all the teasing she’d done tonight. He slid his hands up her top to run his thumb over the lace on her bra. He found the clasp on the front and unhooked it. He took her breasts in both hands and squeezed. She moaned slightly into his mouth. She moved her hands down to his jeans and as fast as she could, she undid them. She pulled them down his legs slightly. He wasn’t wearing any underwear. Millie pulled away from the kiss slightly and smiled at him. He grinned back. He knew exactly why she was grinning. She rubbed herself against him, feeling him harden as she grinded her hips. She looked into his eyes and in one motion, Jay had ripped Millie’s top straight down the middle.

“Fuck, Jay,” she giggled. “Will you make a habit of ripping my clothes?” He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. She slid her top and bra off so she was sitting on top of him in just her underwear. Thankfully, she was wearing her favourite underwear. You’re probably thinking he’ll rip these off as well, however, they tie up at the sides.

Jay kissed, licked, sucked and grazed his teeth around her breasts. He moved back up her chest and kissed her lips gently. She pulled herself away as she slowly untied her underwear, watching Jay bite his lip. She smirked as he saw the look in his eyes of how much he wanted her. The plan of teasing her and making her beg went completely out the window for Jay. She let her underwear drop on to his lap where she proceeded to finger herself. He watched his girlfriend pleasuring herself, watching her fingers move in and out of her. He became completely erect and couldn’t help himself but to grab her wrist and insert his own fingers into her. She gasped and started to move her hips to the rhythm of his fingers. He felt her start to reach her peak and stopped just before she could. He quickly moved her closer and slammed her down on to his cock. She dug her fingernails into his chest as she adjusted to his length. She slowly raised herself up after the initial shock and slammed herself back down. It wasn’t long before she reached her climax and screaming Jay’s name. Jay chuckled as she did; kissing the bottom of her neck.

  15. An hour later

Millie couldn’t keep her mouth shut. She was completely shocked at what Jay had just asked. She wrapped one of the blankets around her and hid her face. Why would he ask something like that? Jay knelt beside her, wanting to take back what he asked. He never meant it to come out. He wasn’t even sure why he’d said it. Of course he thought about it but wasn’t planning to say it for a few weeks yet.

“Millie,” Jay begged. He then decided to pull his jeans back on. “Mils, I didn’t mean it.” Millie uncovered her face.

“You didn’t mean it?” She asked. She looked like she was about to cry but they weren’t real tears. She didn’t admit it, but she was a good actress.

“No, I ... I didn’t mean for it to come out. That’s what I meant.” Jay tried to recover. Millie turned herself over and hid her face in the cushions. She made sure she was covered on her back. “Millie,” Jay whimpered, lying down beside her. “I don’t even know why I said it.”

So, here’s what happened. Jay was reaching his peak and Millie was about to peak at the height of the fifth orgasm she’d had. They both came together; Millie bit down on Jay’s shoulder as she did whereas Jay managed to let out a “marry me, Mils?”

“Millie, please don’t ignore me,” Jay begged. He placed his hand on her back and started to rub his thumb against her. She turned her head to face him. Her hair was still across her face. Pushing herself towards him, she kissed him lightly on the nose. Jay smiled as she did. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“For what?” Millie grinned.

“Proposing to you?” Jay asked.

“No, I think the answer is ‘for not proposing properly,’” she chuckled. Jay was confused but thought he knew what she kind of meant.

“What would your answer be if I meant it?” Jay asked. His grin became wider on his face as Millie blushed.

“I think you know what my answer would be,” she winked at him. Jay mouthed ‘yes’ to her and she slightly nodded her head and grinned at him. She’d never seen him get on to his feet so fast and leave the room. Millie pulled her underwear on, regretting wearing the lace-up underwear. She’d just clasped the bra together when Jay returned. He stood in front of her and lowered himself on to his knee.

“Millicent Jemima Parker,” he said, speaking in a posh accent. He pulled out a sweet ring from behind his back. He held it between his index finger and thumb. “Would you do me the honour of ... it doesn’t sound right.” Jay stood up.

“Way to ruin the moment,” Millie giggled. “James,” she added in a posh voice too.

Jay shoved the sweet ring in her hand. “Hold this a second while I think.” He went over to his skittle draw in the cupboard in the living room and pulled a box out. He turned around and was on his knee again. “I love you, Mils,” he started. Millie was in shock that he actually had an engagement ring. “I don’t think I could live another day without you in my life. We’ve been through so much together. You’re amazing, beautiful, caring, funny, sweet, adorable and generous.” He opened the box to reveal a 1.25 carat diamond engagement ring. Millie had dropped on to both knees in front of Jay. She still had the sweet ring in her hand. “Will you marry me?” Jay asked.

Millie started to chuckle. She slipped the sweet ring on her finger and nodded. “Of course I will,” Millie laughed. Jay took her into his arms and hugged her tightly. “I love you, Bird.”

“I love you too,” Jay murmured into Millie’s neck.

  16. Tom knew

“You knew?” Millie asked Tom, shocked that he’d managed to keep a secret. “How could you keep something like that secret from me?”

“You’re my baby sister, I can manage to hide a lot from you,” Tom chuckled. “And I’m surprised he did it as soon as he did. I thought he wasn’t planning to do it for another couple of months.” Millie chuckled at the thought of Jay asking as he came. She then burst into laughter which caused coffee to snort out of her nose. “I can’t believe I’m related to you at times,” Tom laughed as he handed Millie a napkin. “What I said wasn’t even funny.”

“Sorry, it’s that you don’t want to know what’s going through my head.” She couldn’t stop giggling though. Tom pulled an unimpressed face.

“Sometimes I feel like I should send Kelsey to see you rather than me,” Tom huffed. Millie calmed herself down and wiped all the coffee up from her nose, her mouth, her chin and from the table.

“I’m sorry, Pecker,” Millie said. She finished off her cappuccino and smiled at Tom.

“So, how did Jay actually propose?” Tom asked, thinking he was asking an innocent question. Millie burst into laughter again. At least this time she didn’t have any coffee up her nose.

  17. They find out how he actually proposed

“So how did he actually propose?” Kelsey asked. Jay had gone out with the lads and Kelsey and Jade were round Millie’s. They had wine and had eaten Chinese for dinner. “Did he go all romantic and soppy or did he just get down on one knee and confess his love for you?” Millie burst into laughter. If Jay even knew how much she laughed about the initial proposal, he’d probably kill her. “Spill!” Kelsey and Jade were grinning at Millie.

“Well, the other night,” Millie giggled. “We were having sex and as he came, he moaned ‘marry me!’” She continued to giggle. Kelsey spat her wine out in front of her, most of it landing on the wooden floor, while Jade fell onto the sofa laughing. “And then he tried proposing all posh-like but with a sweet ring. Then he actually proposed with an actual ring. I still wore the sweet ring for a while.”

“He asked you as he came?” Kelsey giggled. She’d now placed her wine glass on the coffee table and had curled over on the sofa laughing. “Did you tell Tom this was how he originally proposed?” Kelsey tried to regain composure but failed to. Millie shook her head at Kelsey.

“You really want me to tell my bru-ther that Jay originally pro-posed just after I’d sa-tis-fied him sex-u-ally?” Millie over-exaggerated every word she could. Kelsey and Jade burst into a new set of giggles.

All three girls calmed down after a while. They settled into the sofa and talked over ideas for Kelsey and Tom’s wedding. Kelsey had quite a few really good ideas. This made Millie think she wasn’t ready to be engaged and definitely not ready to start planning a wedding. Their chatting was cut short as the lads all came back in about half midnight. They were all quite drunk and the girls weren’t in that much of a better state. Jay sat on the floor in front of Millie, stroking her legs and kissing her ankles. Tom sat between Millie and Kelsey, putting his arms around both of them. Siva cuddled up to Jade and planted a kiss on her cheek. Nathan sat on the edge of the same sofa, on his phone as usual. Max laid on the floor, giggling to himself.

“So, what have you girls been gossiping about?” Tom asked, planting a kiss on Kelsey’s lips making Millie pretend to gag. He pushed Millie’s face away and into the sofa.

“Wedding plans,” Kelsey grinned. “Well, my wedding plans. And how Jay first proposed to Mils.” Kelsey and Jade burst into giggles again. Max sat up from the floor.

“How did he first propose?” Max asked. “He won’t tell us.”

“Trust me, Max,” Jay smiled. “Tom won’t want to know!” Jay blushed.

“How did he propose, Mils?” Tom asked.

“Like Jay said Pecker, you don’t want to know.” Millie was now giggling.

“Tell me,” Tom whined. “Tell me. Tell me.” He started to chant. Max and Siva joined in with him. Nathan looked up from his phone, pulled a confused face, and went back to looking at his phone.

“Would you like to tell them Jay, or should I?” Millie giggled.

“I am putting you to bed because I don’t want you telling anyone,” Jay chuckled. He stood up and pulled Millie off the sofa.

“She told us without even thinking about it,” Jade blurted out between giggling fits. Jay raised his eyebrows at Millie. Millie jumped into his arms, planting a kiss on his lips.

“He asked her as he came,” Kelsey giggled. Everybody except Tom burst into laughter. Even Nathan was laughing. Jay put Millie on the floor and stormed out of the living area.

“Jay,” Millie giggled, chasing after him.

  18. Jay’s pissed

Jay had stormed off upstairs and into their bedroom. “Jay,” Millie said as she joined him.

“Why did you tell them, Mils?” Jay asked. He turned around to face her looking hurt.

“Look, you have to admit, it’s quite funny.” Millie tried hiding the giggles.

“Would you like me to go down there and tell them some of the things you’ve said when we’ve been having sex?” Jay asked.

“That’s different!” Millie argued back.

“How the fuck is it any different?” Jay asked. Millie couldn’t think of a reason. “Exactly,” Jay said as he crossed his arms. “It’s not. I can’t believe you told them, Mils.” Jay was quite pissed off. “Just get out,” he finally sighed.

“What?” Millie asked, shocked that he told her to get out. “You mean the bedroom right?”

“No, the house.”

Millie couldn’t believe he was acting this way. “Jay, please,” she begged. “Don’t make me leave.” She went to put her arms around him but he stopped her.

“Millie, get out,” he said with a bit more anger in his voice.

“I’m not leaving, Jay!” She said, standing up for herself. “You’re really going to try and make me leave just because I told Kelsey and Jade how you first asked me to marry you?” Jay kept eye contact with Millie, not backing down. She wasn’t going to back down either. “Don’t be like this.” Millie could feel herself weakening as Jay kept standing there, wanting her out of their house. “Please?” Millie was begging now. She didn’t want Jay being angry with her.

“Max?” Jay shouted. A few seconds later and Max appeared at the door. “Can you take Millie home with you tonight?” Max wasn’t fazed by this as they could hear everything downstairs.

“No, Jay,” Millie couldn’t help but let the tears fall down her cheeks now. “You’re being pathetic about this Jay.” Max picked Millie up around the waist and took her downstairs. Everybody was still down there. She grabbed her phone and keys and Max put his arm around her as they left the house.

  19. Maxlie

Millie had only been in Max’s flat a couple of times in the past and it was always with either all of the lads or with just Tom. She’d never been there by herself. Max showed her his room and let her change into his trackies and one of his tops. He kissed her on the forehead before he made to leave the room. “He’ll be fine by the morning,” Max slurred.

“I hope so,” Millie mumbled. She climbed into Max’s bed but didn’t fall asleep. She tossed and turned constantly for hours. Max could hear how restless she was from the living room and decided he’d go and see her. He lightly knocked on the door and went into his room. Millie was now crying. Max climbed into bed with her and wrapped his arms around her. Millie sobbed into his chest. Max kissed the top of her head every now and then.

You’re probably thinking that at some point, they’re going to kiss; that because they’re both a little drunk, they’re going to kiss and do something stupid. But Max and Millie don’t see each other like that. Yeah, they kissed once and that was when they were a bit drunk too but that was before Jay and Millie fell for each other or even thought of each other in that way. Millie saw Max like an older brother now. He was always protective of her and thought of her as the little sister he never had. Well, he thought of Kelsey and Jade like that too.

Millie ran out of tears once the sun had started to rise. She couldn’t fall asleep though. Max had drifted off so she decided to sit in the living room and watch TV. There was a knock on the door at half 8. As Max hadn’t woken up by then, Millie answered it. Jay was standing there looking guilty and like he hadn’t been able to sleep. He wrapped his arms around Millie’s waist and swept her up. He buried his face in her neck. Millie tightened her arms around his neck and didn’t want to let go.

“I’m sorry,” Jay apologised. He placed her back on the ground. “I over-reacted when I shouldn’t have. I’m so so so sorry.” He took a proper look at her. “You’ve been crying,” he said, looking at her eyes. “You’ve been proper crying.” He pulled her into his chest.

“Because you were being a dick and I didn’t know what else to do,” Millie chuckled. “I’m sorry I told Kelsey and Jade.”

“Hey, they’re your girls. Of course you were going to tell them.” Jay smiled. He was happy to have Millie in his arms.

  20. The maid of honour

“The first call I get in a couple of months from you and it’s to tell me you’re engaged?” Harri asked down the phone to Millie.

Millie found it hard to get on with girls back in Bolton. She’d grown up with Tom and always found it easier to hang out with guys. It wasn’t until she went off to college that she made friends with one girl, Harrietta. Harrietta (or better known as Harri) takes complete credit for how Millie was today. When they had their first Photography lesson together, Millie didn’t bother with makeup (mainly because she had no clue what to do with it), she didn’t care about what her hair was like and she pretty much wore only denim, long shorts with a hoody. Harri saw past this boy image and managed to pull out a fairly pretty girl. Since then, Millie and Harri could rarely be split up until just over a year ago when Millie moved down to London.

“I’m sorry,” Millie apologised with a slight giggle in her voice. “I know we should be talking more but I keep getting caught up with stuff.” Millie genuinely did miss hanging out with Harri. Once Millie had found her inner girlyness, she and Harri loved tormenting the lads Millie used to hang out with. “Anyway, I called you for two reasons. One was to say I was engaged. The second is, do you fancy coming down to London for a few days?”

“Will I get to see your brother?” Harri asked.

“Yes,” Millie laughed. Harri has always had a bit of a crush on Tom. “But don’t you dare try anything!”

“Yes, I know, he has a girlfriend.”

“Fiancée,” Millie corrected her.

“Oh, what? He’s completely taken now? I never had a chance to jump on him,” Harri whined. Millie laughed at Harri’s reaction to the news.

“Well, she’s completely my brother’s type so be nice.” Millie warned. “You can have Max for the weekend. Oh, come down this weekend because we’re going out to celebrate Friday and Saturday night.”

Harri and Millie talked a bit longer about arranging when to pick Harri up from the station. They gossiped and talked about everything that had happened the last couple of months. The conversation ended on Millie telling Harri that she wanted her to be her maid of honour.

  21. Harri arrives

As soon as Harri and Millie saw each other in Euston station, they ran into each other’s arms and squealed with excitement. Harri was a bit shorter than Millie with fair skin, bleached blonde hair which had been dip-dyed lilac. Millie and Harri jumped on a tube which took them to Millie’s nearest station. Once they got back to Jay and Millie’s house, they settled into the sofa with a glass of wine. So what if it was only three in the afternoon?

“Where is he then?” Harri asked.

“In the studio, at the moment,” Millie answered. “You’ll be glad to hear that everyone’s coming here once they finish and then we’re going out.”

“Who is everyone?” Harri was a bit wary.

“Well, obviously Jay, Max, Siva, Tom, Kelsey Tom’s fiancée, Jade Siva’s girlfriend, and I’m not too sure about Nath.” Nathan had said he might only come out on the Saturday night. “But you’ll love everyone. Well, you’ll have to love them because if you don’t love them, you won’t love any of the wedding party.”

“They’re all part of the wedding party?” Harri asked, astonished that Millie had such a large amount of people as part of her wedding.

“Well, they’re Jay’s best mates and Kelsey’s going to be my sister-in-law and Jade has become one of my best friends down here.” Millie laughed as Harri pulled a face to say she was hurt from being replaced. “I could never ever ever replace you, Haz,” Millie giggled and wrapped her arms around Harri.

“Good, bitch,” Harri giggled and kissed Millie’s arm.

  22. Introductions

Millie made her way to the kitchen to open the third bottle of wine she and Harri were about to start. She just got into the kitchen when the front door opened and all the lads, excluding Nathan, came in with Kelsey and Jade. Jay walked into the living room to see Harri laying on her back on the sofa, her face turned towards the TV.

“The famous Harrietta,” Jay smirked. Harri sat upright and swung her legs off the sofa. She got to her feet and curtsied.

“The famous James,” she giggled. “Now give me a proper welcoming.” She opened her arms and he hugged her. Millie walked out of the kitchen carrying two full glasses of wine. Everyone had made themselves comfortable in the living room now.

Millie chuckled as she saw Jay giving Harri one of his bear hugs. “You’ve met the skank in my life then?” Millie asked and leant against the door frame, sipping on her glass of wine.

“Shut up, schlag,” Harri laughed and took her glass of wine off of Millie. She turned to face Tom. “Do I not get a hug from you?” She asked. Tom pulled a confused face at Harri.

“You wanted a hug from me?” Tom asked and pushed himself off the sofa. He wrapped his arms around Harri’s waist and lifted her off her feet. He placed her back on her feet and sat himself back next to Kelsey.

Millie introduced Harri to everyone. “So, when are we going out?” Millie asked Jay as she sat down on his lap.

“Everyone but us three are ready,” Jay said and kissed her cheek.

“Wicked,” Millie smiled at Jay. “Come on, Haz.” Millie lifted herself off of Jay’s lap and grabbed Harri’s hand. “Let’s go get ready. Kels, Jade, you coming?” Millie, Harri, Kelsey and Jade made their way up to Millie and Jay’s bedroom.

Kelsey and Jade had dresses on so Millie headed straight for her wardrobe. Harri went into the spare bedroom and quickly changed into the dress she was wearing for the night; a navy, long-sleeved dress that had no back to it. Harri came back into the master bedroom to sort her hair and makeup out. Millie stood at her wardrobe trying to figure out what to wear. She decided on a lilac dress she hadn’t worn yet. She’d bought it while they were in LA. 45 minutes later and Millie and Harri were ready with help from Kelsey and Jade with doing their hair and makeup.

  23. Someone drinks too much

The club was packed tonight. It usually was on a Friday. Millie had a hold of Harri’s hand pretty much the whole night. At one point, the last point, Jay slid his hands into Millie’s and pulled her into him so they could properly dance together. Harri’s hand was now free of Millie’s and Max replaced it. Millie was too busy dancing with Jay to realise that Harri was starting to dance closely with Max. Jay looked away from Millie for a second to spot Max and Harri nose to nose. He chuckled and then turned Millie around in his arms. Millie grinned as she saw Max and Harri start to kiss each other. Millie turned back around to face Jay with an excited smile on her face.

“You’re too excited about this,” Jay laughed into Millie’s ear. Millie continued to grin at him.

“Imagine if Harri’s the girl who settles him,” Millie said over the music. Jay pulled Millie up to him and kissed her. Millie giggled as Jay kissed her. It was hard to imagine that within the last year, Millie had left Bolton because of a death threat, fell for Jay, slept with Nathan, fell in love with Jay, got together with Taylor, ended up in hospital and then ended up happy with Jay.

Just after 3am, they all headed their separate ways home; Harri going home with Jay and Millie. She was worse for wear than Millie or Jay were. As soon as they got in their home, Harri had to run to the bathroom to be sick. Millie ran after her and knelt beside the toilet. Harri had her head down it, grasping on to the rim of the toilet. Millie grabbed a hair band off the bathroom side and tied Harri’s hair up out the way. She rubbed her back out of comfort as she continued to gag into the toilet bowl. Jay came in with a glass of water. Once the gagging had stopped, Millie handed Harri the water for her to rinse her mouth out and for her to sip.

“You alright, Harri?” Jay asked. It was usually Jay in Harri’s position. Harri held her head up with her hand on her forehead and shook her head.

“I think I may have had a bit too much to drink,” she giggled.

“I’ll stay with her for a bit,” Millie said and smiled at Jay. “You go to bed. I’ll sleep with her tonight.”

“Will you now?” Jay grinned. Millie rolled her eyes and stood up from the floor. “You know, I’m all up for joining in if that’s how it’s going to turn out.”

“You missed that window a couple of years back,” Millie chuckled and pushed Jay out of the bathroom. She shut the door and locked it to stop Jay from coming in to ask questions.

“What?” came Jay’s voice from the other side of the door. Millie chuckled and sat herself next to Harri. She’d started to throw up again.

“Poor Harriballs,” Millie sang soothingly as she rubbed Harri’s back.

  24. Jay’s imagination wanders

Millie slept in the spare bedroom with Harri that night, making sure she didn’t choke on her own sick. Millie woke up around half 8 that morning and pulled herself out of bed to go to the loo. She used the loo in the en-suite as the loo in the bathroom wasn’t exactly in the best shape. Millie came out of the en-suite to be met by Jay. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her over to the bed. He sat down on the bed where Millie straddled his lap.

“So,” Jay started with a mischievous grin on his face. “You and Harri, eh?” Millie chuckled and grinned at him.

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know,” Millie murmured into his ear. She felt his erection jab into her crotch. “You’re probably thinking of us right now, aren’t ya!?” Millie giggled as Jay nodded. Millie started to kiss his neck. “Maybe we could get a special viewing going tonight?” Millie smiled as she continued to kiss his neck. She loved to tease him still.

“You would do that for me?” Jay panted into her ear. Millie gently grinded against his crotch. Jay bit his lip as Millie continued to tease him until he couldn’t take it any longer and pushed her onto the bed. He took her underwear off – she felt too hot to wear shorts last night to bed. He inserted two fingers into her which made her gasp. She shoved her hand in his boxers and pulled his cock out, rubbing it in her hand. Millie flipped them over so that she was back on top.

“So, imagine me kissing Harri, slowly and softly,” Millie whispered into Jay’s ear. Jay chuckled and closed his eyes, imaging the two girls together. “Now, I’m taking her top off but she’s not wearing a bra.” Millie sucked on Jay’s ear lobe causing him to groan. Millie laughed softly into his ear. Jay moved her hand away from his cock and lowered her down onto it. “Now,” Millie moaned softly. “Imagine me kissing her neck and going lower down her ...” Millie started to giggle. “I’m sorry,” she laughed. “I can’t do it.” Jay pushed himself all the way into her which turned her mind to what was actually happening.

  25. “In the fridge?”

There was a knock on the bedroom door. Millie yelled that it was okay to come in and Harri’s face appeared around the door. She smiled shyly. “I cleaned your bathroom,” she mumbled. “I’m interrupting, aren’t I?” Harri made to leave the room.

“You’re not,” Millie laughed and climbed out of the bed. She took some shorts out of her draw and shoved them on over her underwear. “Let’s get some food in ya.” Millie threw her arm around Harri and led her downstairs to the kitchen.

“You’re room smells like sex,” Harri teased once they’d reached the kitchen.

“Usually what happens after you have sex, Haz,” Millie chuckled. She opened the fridge up and pulled bacon and eggs out. She placed them on the side and pulled a frying pan from the pan hanger. Millie heated up the pan, cracked the eggs into one side of it and fried the bacon in the other side. A few minutes later and both of them were munching on their breakfast. Jay came down and had bothered to put some trackies on. “You’re wearing clothes?” Millie asked, pulling a shocked expression which turned into a grin.

“Don’t think Harri would appreciate me walking around in just my underwear,” Jay laughed as he opened the fridge.

“If your bottom half matches your top half then I wouldn’t mind,” Harri smiled as she caught Millie’s eye. Millie rolled her eyes at Harri. Harri stuck her tongue out at Millie who returned it. “So,” Harri laughed, turning to face Jay. “You want me and Mils to put a show on for you later?” She winked at Jay who blushed.

“You told her?” Jay asked, raising his eyebrows. Millie nodded and grinned at him. Jay blushed a deeper shade of red and turned back to the fridge.

“Oh come on, Jay,” Millie laughed. She jumped out of her seat and wrapped her arms around Jay’s chest from behind him. “I think every girl knows that every guy has had that fantasy.”

“We like it to stay in our heads so the girls we imagine it with don’t find out.” Jay was proper red now. Millie moved around him so she was standing in front of him. The coldness of the fridge hitting her back.

“But if we know,” Millie lightly pushed herself against him. “We could sort something out for you.” Jay lowered his head and kissed Millie. He lifted her up and sat her on the door of the freezer section.

“In the fridge, really Mils?” Harri laughed from the kitchen table.

“Get out,” both Jay and Millie said, both pointing at the door. Harri sighed and went into the living room. She turned the TV up loud to cover the sounds of Jay and Millie.

  26. Teasing Jay with the idea of a threesome

Another night out. This time, Nathan was joining the group. They all met up at a different club this time. Millie and Harri were tormenting Jay the whole night with his imagination of a threesome between them. It was only small tormenting. Millie would make it obvious that she was grazing her hand on Harri’s thigh and Harri would brush Millie’s hair behind her ear. The more the girls drank, the touchier they became. After quite a few drinks, Millie winked at Harri which was the signal for them to have one kiss. Harri was the first to make the actual move by snaking her hands around Millie’s waist and pulling her into her. Millie softly kissed Harri, smiling at the thought of how much Jay was probably getting turned on by this. They pulled away from each other after half a minute or so. Jay was biting his lip. Millie looked behind Jay’s shoulder and Max and Tom were staring with their mouth’s hanging wide open; Tom’s face was a bit more angry/shocked. Millie pointed this out to Harri and they burst into a fit of giggles. Jay looked behind him to see Tom and Max’s faces.

“What is Millie doing?” Tom asked Jay. Jay smirked and then tried to get rid of it but it wouldn’t budge.

“Erm,” he looked to the ground. “She’s trying to turn me on.”

“She’s doing a good job with me,” Max commented. Tom glared at him. “She’s not my sister!”

“Well, tell her to stop,” Tom growled as he faced Jay. “Because the guys are looking at them like slabs of meat.” Tom turned on his feet and made his way back to Kelsey.

Jay moved over to Harri and Millie and threw his arms across their shoulders. He kissed Millie on the cheek and then moved his lips to her ear. “Tom wants you two to stop what you’re doing,” Jay said loud enough for Millie to hear. Millie turned her head to Jay and nodded as she placed her lips on his.

  27. Harri wants to go home with Max

Millie and Jay were hanging out in one of the booths. Nathan joined them after a while. Millie drunkenly threw her arms around him, pulling him closer to her. He laughed and wrapped his arms around her.

“Now,” Millie giggled. “This is my threesome fantasy.” She winked at Jay and he rolled his eyes.

“What?” Nathan asked, confused but was laughing too. Millie moved so her mouth was by his ear.

“Basically, Jay admitted that he’s thought of me and Harri as part of his ideal threesome with him,” Millie laughed. Nathan looked round Millie and smirked at Jay. Jay threw his head back against the side of the booth. Millie laughed and moved back next to Jay. “It would be hot though,” Millie purred into Jay’s ear.

“Millie,” whined Harri from the other side of the table at their booth. “Can I talk to you for a second?” Millie firmly kissed Jay and then slid out past Nathan in the direction of the toilets. “Would you mind if I go home with Max?” Harri asked and batted her eyelashes at Millie. Millie sighed and took Harri by the shoulders.

“Don’t get caught up,” Millie said. Harri nodded her head, making the curls on her head bounce. “Be back at mine by midday, and be safe. None of us know where Max has been.”

Harri laughed as Millie hugged her. They both made their way out and joined Jay, Nathan and Max at the booth. Max slung his arms around the girls and kissed them both on the cheek. Max then swung his arms forward with Millie and Harri still in his grip so that they would face each other. “I think we need to see it again,” Max slurred. Millie rolled her eyes and shoved Max. He laughed and bent his head to her ear. “Look at Jay; he’s begging for you to do it again.” She looked at Jay who was biting his bottom lip. She looked back to Max and shook her head.

“I’ve teased him enough for tonight,” Millie chuckled. She looked back over to Jay and tilted her head. He made eye contact with her. She mouthed ‘I love you’ to him. He grinned and mouthed ‘I love you too’ back.

  28. Marri’s not allowed to be just a one night stand

Harri encased Millie in a deathly squeeze of a hug. Max had driven all four of them to the station. Harri hugged Jay and then went and hugged Max. Their hug was longer and they buried their faces in each other’s necks. Millie looked up to Jay who kissed her on the nose. Harri pulled away from Max and hugged Millie again.

“I’ll see you in a few weeks,” Millie promised. Harri rushed off in the direction of her train and all three of them waved until they couldn’t see her anymore. “Honestly, what did you think of her?” Millie asked as she faced Max and Jay. Max blushed. This was the first time Millie had ever seen him blush. “What was that?” Millie asked and pinched Max’s cheeks.

“Oh, shut up,” Max chuckled and turned around to head for his car in the station car park.

“No, did you just blush Maximillian?” Millie asked, running after him and jumping on his back. She saw his cheeks flush with colour again. Millie laughed and stopped him from walking. “You like her!” Millie had a smile that stretched from ear to ear.

“She’s nice,” Max said and smiled at Millie.

“And ....?” Jay and Millie asked. Jay had caught up to them now and was joining in with the taunting.

“She’s hot,” Max smirked. Millie crossed her arms, raised her chin and her eyebrows.

“What else?” She asked, already judging him. He would not be able to get away with having a one night stand with her best friend.

“We talked for like two hours this morning, what do you expect me to say, Mils?” Max laughed. He pulled a confused face at Jay and then continued to walk in the direction of his car. “Next time she’s down, I said I’d take her out for coffee or something.” That was a better answer for Millie.

  29. The girls go shopping

Kelsey, Jade and Millie were wandering around Camden market. They were browsing everywhere and chatting about stuff that had happened over the last few weeks. Kelsey and Tom had set a date for their wedding whereas Millie and Jay hadn’t even discussed any more of their wedding. They both avoided the subject if it was ever mentioned. Kelsey had given it just over a year for planning. She’d already booked a full day appointment for trying on wedding dresses in a couple of weeks. After three hours in Camden market, they jumped on a tube and headed for a station near the Thames. They made their way to a Starbucks and settled down with their shopping.

“Mils,” Kelsey asked, turning the conversation away from her wedding. “Have you thought about anything for your wedding?” Both Jade and Kelsey looked expectantly at Millie. She picked up her cappuccino and took a sip.

Millie and Jay hadn’t talked about the wedding at all. All Millie knew was that Harri was going to be her maid of honour and that Kelsey, Jade and Eleanor (Jay’s sister) were going to be bridesmaids. Millie didn’t even have a clue as to who was Jay’s best man. Jay didn’t have a clue either. “Erm, we haven’t talked about any of it yet,” Millie mumbled and then picked her mug up again.

“Any of it?” Kelsey asked. Millie shook her head.

“Well, I know I’m having you two and Eleanor as bridesmaids with Harri as maid of honour. But the rest of it,” she then made a noise which pretty much said ‘fuck knows’. The conversation moved on from the wedding. Soon they were chatting about wanting to go out; just the girlies. As Britt was visiting Nathan for the week, they decided it would be a good idea to get to know the girl dating Nathan and invited her out.

  30. Girls’ night out

All four girls arrived at Arcadium at 11pm. They found a booth close to the bar and Kelsey insisted she bought the first round of drinks. She came back with a tray of tequila shots, limes and salt. She was followed by one of the bar men with four jugs of cocktails; a different cocktail in each one.

“Trying to get us hammered, Kels?” Jade laughed. They’d already shared a couple of bottles of wine between them. They pre-drank at Millie’s as it was closer to the club. Jay was persuading the girls to keep downing drinks that he gave them.

“Always,” Kelsey giggled and then winked. The girls took three tequila slammers each before sticking straws into the cocktail jugs and drinking from them. Vegas Girl by Conor Maynard came on so they all grabbed a jug each and made their on to the dance floor. A few guys came up to the girls to dance with them. None of the girls said no to the guys and had a harmless, short dance with the guys. All of a sudden, Millie shoved her jug into Jade’s arms and was lifted on to the podium where the pole was. She was in fits of giggles as she danced around the pole. Kelsey sipped on her cocktail jug and took pictures on her phone, sending them to Jay. Millie was then lifted across the dance floor and over to the stage area. Saturday by Basshunter started playing and another girl was lifted on to the stage.

A dance off.

Millie just kept giggling because she couldn’t dance. Thankfully, neither could the other girl. Millie had been to Kelsey’s K2K sessions a few times so just used some of the moves she’d learnt there and some she’d seen on the music video. Kelsey and Jade were filming the whole time. When Millie danced, the crowd cheered louder. She looked out and noticed there was a higher ratio of boys to girls. Millie won the dance off hands down and the prize was for her drinks to be paid for all night. Millie stepped off the stage and ran over to Kelsey, Jade and Britt. She took a cocktail jug off them and downed the rest of it. She headed back over to the bar and ordered her first free drink.

“You’ve gotten better at dancing,” a guy next to her said. She could feel the alcohol taking over her vision. She tried to focus as best as she could. She took a step back when she recognised the familiar face. The face that made her panic from the last time she saw it.

“Taylor?” Millie asked as she took another step away from him.

  31. Taylor returns

The bartender placed Millie’s free drink on the bar. Taylor handed it over to her and tried to get her to stay. As soon as she had her drink, she turned immediately away from the bar and made her way to the dance floor. Her heart beat was high and the adrenaline in her body knocked the effects of the alcohol out of her system. Her eyes were wide as she tried to find Kelsey, Jade and Brittany. She called their names across the dance floor but they were nowhere in sight. Panic started to settle in. She necked her drink and then dropped the glass to the floor. She stumbled through the crowd and over to the toilets. As she pushed out of the crowd, she tripped over someone’s foot and fell. She didn’t feel herself crash to the floor; someone had grabbed her arm and stopped her from falling.

“Get off of me,” Millie squirmed as she saw that it was Taylor.

“Look, Mils,” he yelled above the music. “I wanted to come up and see you while you were in the hospital but Nathan made it clear that I wasn’t allowed to see you.”

“And he was doing the right thing,” Millie snatched her arm out of Taylor’s grip. “Leave me alone, Taylor.”

“Bunny,” Taylor called. Millie turned around to head for the toilet’s but lost balance again, ending up on the floor this time. Taylor helped her up where she collapsed in his arms.

“What’s happening?” She asked. She could feel her vision becoming hazy and her mind matching the blurriness. Next thing, Millie had passed out in Taylor’s arms.

  32. “Where did Millie get to?”

Kelsey came out of the bathroom and made her way back to the booth where Jade and Britt were sitting. Millie wasn’t back from the bar which made Kelsey confused. Kelsey pointed over to the bar to Jade and Britt to let them know where she was going. The bar was quite busy. Kelsey shouted Millie’s name a few times over the noise of the people and the music that was blaring through a couple of the speakers. Nope, no sign of her. Kelsey shouted even louder this time, practically screaming. Still no sign of her. She rushed back over to Jade and Britt.

“I can’t see Millie,” Kelsey rushed; panic setting into her slightly.

“Calm down, Kels,” Jade giggled from the conversation Britt and she were having. “She’s probably just gone to the loo or something. She’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“No, something’s not right,” Kelsey said. She turned around and looked across the dance floor; her eyes darting to the toilet door every now and then. Ten minutes passed and still no sign of her. “Something’s seriously wrong,” Kelsey said, turning round to face the other two girls. “Come on!” Kelsey ordered Britt and Jade. They grabbed their bags and left the club. Kelsey immediately started calling Millie’s phone but it just kept ringing and ringing. After ten tries of this, she gave in and called Jay. No way was she calling Tom first. He would go mental if he knew that Kelsey had lost Millie. His phone rang through a couple of times until he picked it up on the third try of Kelsey calling him.

“Hi Kels,” Jay mumbled down the phone.

“Sorry, I wouldn’t wake you if it wasn’t an emergency, Bird,” Kelsey said as Jade made her way back over to the bouncers to ask if they’d seen Millie leave. “Is Millie back at yours?”

“Hold on a second,” Jay grunted. Jay pulled himself out of bed and switched the light on in his room. He looked on Millie’s side of the bed. “She’s not in bed with me. I’ll go check the rest of the house.” Jay looked in every room to see if Millie was there. “Nope. Hang on, I thought you’d get her home?”

“We can’t find her, Jay,” Kelsey stuttered down the phone. Jay tried to not worry but his heart rate increased. “She went to the bar and we went back to our booth and she never returned.”

“You’re at Arcadium, right?” Jay asked. Kelsey confirmed it. “I’ll be there in about five minutes, okay?” He scrambled out of bed and rushed to pull on trackies and a top.

The bouncers had told Jade that a girl who looked like Millie left in the arms of a guy. They described him as tall, well built, early twenties, short brown hair, wearing a blue shirt and black trousers. Apparently Millie had been carried out in the guy’s arms as she was too drunk to walk. Jay arrived at the nightclub just as Kelsey broke down into tears. She’d lost Millie and it was all her fault and Tom will never forgive her. Both Jade and Jay tried to calm her down. Britt went back to Nathan’s but on strict orders not to tell Nathan anything. Jay encased Kelsey in a bear hug and assured her that they’d find Millie. But none of them knew where to start.

                                                                         33. Taylor gets aggressive

Millie woke up in a stranger’s flat. She couldn’t remember much of the night before. She looked around and found herself face-to-face with Taylor. She couldn’t see any clothes on him which made her look down at herself. She was naked too. She quietly slipped out of bed and found her clothes in a pile on the floor. She started pulling them on when Taylor woke up.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He asked as he climbed out of bed.

“What happened last night?” Millie asked, continuing to pull clothes on her.

“You drank a lot and then insisted you came back here,” Taylor smirked. “You couldn’t keep your hands off of me.”

“And now tell me the truth.”

“I just did.” Millie could see Taylor becoming angry. She’d never seen him like this; he was always sweet and gentle with her when they were together.

“No,” Millie said, her voice a little weaker than before. “Tell me what happened. Did you drug me again?” Taylor’s expression turned to fury as he grabbed Millie by her hair and dragged her into his living room. He forced her down onto the couch.

“You remember this couch?” Taylor asked, pushing her face against it. “Do you remember how many times you came for me on this couch?”

“Get off!” Millie tried to get out of his grasp but it only tightened around her arm and her hair.

“I’m going to make you cum again on this couch, for me.” There was a slight smile in his voice that made Millie instantly know what he was going to do to her.

Millie kicked Taylor in the back which made him let go of her hair and grab her leg. He pulled a set of handcuffs from his back pocket and clipped her hands together and around the leg of the sofa, bending her over the sofa slightly. He pulled down the underwear she’s managed to put on. He cut to the chase, not wasting any time. Millie screamed and kicked the whole time, trying to throw him off of her but his grip was too strong for her. She cried into the sofa as he caused her the pain no man should ever cause a woman to endure.

  34. Poor Bird

Three days it had been since Millie went missing. Jay and Kelsey asked at the local hospital if she’d been admitted there. They didn’t have a Millie or Millicent on the system. Jay insisted that he told Tom the news of Millie’s disappearance. That way Kelsey wouldn’t get as much hassle from Tom. Tom wasn’t angry as much as they expected, he was more upset. After 24 hours of Millie going missing, Jay went to the police in order for her to be found. They asked for all her details. Thankfully a lot of pictures were taken that night so the police knew what she was wearing when she was taken. The club was called for their CCTV footage of that night to be sent to the station. Jay sat at the police station for two days before Nathan persuaded him to go home and eat. Kelsey had managed to keep Tom busy and keep his mind off of his sister’s disappearance. That was only helpful during the day.

Five days passed and still no word from the police station. Britt had gone home by now so Nathan had moved into the spare room of Jay and Millie’s house until the police had found Millie. Nathan cooked, cleaned and made countless cups of tea for Jay in order that he’d feel a bit perkier. It didn’t work though. He was completely torn up by the fact that he went to bed and she wasn’t there. He couldn’t even drift off to sleep because he couldn’t bear not waking up to her smiling face.

Another day passed and they called Jay back into the police station. They showed him footage of Millie falling to the floor out of the dancing crowd but being saved by a guy. Jay squinted at the screen to see who it was. He stood out of his seat when he realised who it was. “Taylor,” he managed to get out. He turned around to Nathan. “It’s Taylor.” Jay turned back to the screen to watch Millie pass out in his arms. He then lifted her up in the bridal position and carried her out of the club.

  35. Getting out

Millie wasn’t even conscious of what day it was anymore. She was just aware that she’d been confined to Taylor’s flat for a few days. He kept her drugged up most of the time. Millie guessed it was night time right now as there was an orange glow from behind the curtains. She was still high but she reached up to the curtain and pulled it open. No, it was day time. Taylor was at work until five. She looked around for a clock and focussed on the time. 2:34pm. Over two hours to get out of this place. She stood up from the sofa and stumbled across into the hallway. She pulled on the door but it was locked. She was wearing hardly any clothing; just how Taylor liked her. She grabbed a jacket and wrapped it around her. With all the effort she could muster, she threw herself into the door. It didn’t budge much but it showed a sign of giving way. She threw herself against it a few more times before the hinges gave way. The door nearly collapsed on her but she moved just in time. Millie made her way down the stairs in Taylor’s building. She didn’t give a damn that she was dressed in one of his jackets and her underwear; she just wanted to get home.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Taylor’s voice rang through her head. He was at the bottom of the stairs.

“Going home,” Millie tried to yell but her voice cracked. “Going back home,” she tried a little louder.

“No, you’re not,” Taylor said angrily. He grabbed her hair and dragged her up the stairs. Millie kicked and tried to scream the whole way up. She could feel the bruises developing on her back and up her legs already. Taylor threw her into his flat, shocked at how much damage she’d done to the door. “You’re going to pay for this!” Taylor yelled as he placed the door back in the gap.

“Help!” Millie screamed before she took a blow to the head. Silencing her.

  36. Keeping it together, waiting for it to break

Britt came back over to England. She couldn’t be in another country when she knew that she was there on the night out. And she also wanted to make sure Jay was okay. In fact, while Nathan was out getting some food in for Jay, Britt went up to his room and wrapped her arms around him in a gesture of comfort. Jay was completely torn up about Millie going missing and the fact Taylor had been the one to take her. Jay had told the police of where he used to live but after he’d drugged Millie last time, he moved out of that place quickly and to an unknown address. Taylor Sparrow wasn’t registered at any address in London. This made Jay breakdown even more. How was he to know that Taylor had changed his name?

“If there’s anything you need,” Britt suggested, “I am here.” She leant in to Jay and kissed him gently on the lips. He kissed her back. Britt smiled as Jay kissed her back. She felt like she connected with Jay more than she did with Nathan and felt like Jay should have been hers. Now Millie was out of the way, she could make a move on Jay. She was hoping that Millie would either never be found or she would be found dead. Yeah, okay, she was still supposed to be with Nathan but she didn’t care how he felt.

Nathan knew he had to keep it together for Jay. If Nathan broke down, Jay would definitely completely break. Nathan had picked up a load of food to fill Jay’s fridge with. He left the supermarket and loaded his car up. He sat down in the driver’s seat and rested his head against the steering wheel. This was the only time he could cry about Millie’s ... kidnapping? Disappearance? What was it? He broke down. He was with Brittany and he did care for her but no one had him like Millie. He felt stupid for not finishing. If he’d finished, he wouldn’t be in this situation. He knew Jay would always win though so there was no point in competing against him for Millie, was there? Nathan wiped his face and wiped all of the Millie thoughts from his mind. He started the engine up and drove back to Jay’s place.

Nathan arrived back at Jay’s place and started to load Jay’s fridge and cupboards up with food. Once he’d finished with that, he went upstairs to check on Jay only to find him in bed with Britt. “What the fuck’s going on here?” Nathan asked.

Jay climbed off of Britt and covered himself up. “Look,” Jay started.

“Save it Jay,” Nathan snarled. He turned to Britt. “Really?” He asked. Britt just smirked at him. “Why are you doing this?”

“Oh come on, Nath,” she rolled her eyes at him. “You must’ve seen that I’ve paid more attention to Jay than you.”

“But he’s with Millie.” Nathan turned to Jay. “You’re with Millie. You’re fucking engaged to her. How the fuck could you do this?”

“Don’t make me feel worse, Nath,” Jay groaned. He ran his hands through his curls. “It’s not like we’re going to find Millie now. The police even said that people who are kidnapped usually die within the week of being kidnapped.”

“It’s only been six days!” Nathan yelled. “You have another day left!”

Jay’s phone started ringing on the side the other side of the bed to which he was standing. Nathan darted over to the phone and saw Tom’s name on the screen. Nathan answered it for Tom to be confused. Nathan said something about Jay being in the shower. A few seconds later, Nathan hung up. “They’ve found her,” he said, dropping the phone on the bed. “Get your fucking act together Jay. As for us, Britt,” Nathan turned to face Britt again. “I never want to see you again.”

  37. Millie’s found

“Mr Hawk?” Someone asked the other side of the door. Millie was just about conscious. She didn’t feel herself though. She just assumed Taylor had injected her with another dose of heroin. Millie’s attention was caught back by a loud crash coming from down the hallway. She was dropping in and out of consciousness every few seconds. She saw a policeman and policewoman come into the bedroom. Their faces dropped when they saw Millie sprawled on the bed naked and not covered with the duvet or a sheet at all. They called an ambulance to come to the address they were at. The police were not expecting to come into the flat to see this. Millie was bruised all over her body. Taylor had beaten her and the only reason why Millie didn’t put up a fight was because she didn’t have the energy to. Millie drifted out of consciousness before the ambulance arrived and woke up again while she was in the ambulance. The paramedic and the policewoman tried to get as much information out of her as they could.

“Do you know who you are?” The policewoman asked her.

“Millie,” Millie was able to get out. “Well, Millicent Par...” She drifted out of consciousness and didn’t speak again. As soon as the ambulance arrived at the nearest hospital, they took her straight to X-ray to see if she’d had any broken bones then to MRI to see if there was any internal bleeding. Thankfully, she had neither. They hooked her up to an IV and wanted to flush the heroin out of her system. Her body ached all over. She’d had nothing to eat since Taylor had taken her, he kept her hydrated though. From lack of energy she fell asleep.

The image of Taylor’s face when he’d return to see her gone haunted Millie in her nightmares as she dozed. This was truly going to haunt her for a while. She screamed whenever any male doctors, male interns or male nurses went near her. She only wanted female professionals near her. She panicked as she had the thought of Tom and Jay come through her head. She knew she could trust them but a part of her worried. Well, a part of her made her start hyperventilating. She woke up from a couple of dozes from the thought of Jay attacking her and raping her. After a few of these episodes of her hyperventilating and thrashing about in her bed, the doctor on her case had no other option but to heavily sedate her so she could actually get some rest. Thankfully, Millie’s mind completely rested. She had no dreams and no nightmares. She was allowed to sleep peacefully.

  38. The reaction to Tom

Nathan was shown to Millie’s room by Kelsey. She met him down by the hospital entrance. Tom was still pacing the corridor outside of Millie’s room. He was told that he wasn’t allowed into Millie’s room until the doctor on her case was out of surgery. Nathan pulled Tom in for a hug. Tom burst into tears on Nathan’s shoulder. Nathan was the baby of the group but with how he was around Jay and Tom, he seemed to be acting like the oldest; like the dad.

“They found her,” Tom repeated into Nathan’s shoulder. Nathan looked through the gap in the blinds. There she was, looking a lot worse than Nathan imagined her. She had bruises and cuts on her face. One eye was closed due to the swelling of something hitting her eyebrow. She was asleep and motionless. It didn’t even look like she was alive unless you paid close attention to her chest which only seemed to be moving up and down slowly. It was another couple of hours before Millie’s doctor came back to the room.

“Mr Parker?” She asked, looking between Tom and Nathan. Tom raised his hand slightly. “I think you should come with me to my office.” This could only mean bad news, Tom thought. Tom left Kelsey and Nathan but Nathan followed. He insisted he come in and be there for Tom. After some persuasion, Tom agreed that he could sit with him. Tom and Nathan took a seat in the seats opposite Dr Plait’s desk. “You’ve probably guessed that it’s not good news that I’ve bought you to my office.” Tom nodded. Nathan just watched Tom. “We’re a bit wary of you or any other male relative or friend going into the room Millie is currently in. She’s been assaulted, and we think she has been raped but she’s still yet to say. She’s been sedated or been trying to sleep since she’s been in here. But as she’s been raped and abused, she’s become somewhat scared of other males. When Dr Collins was assigned her case, she screamed until he’d left the room. She screamed whenever any male interns or nurses went into her room. She has all female staff attending to her and we’re afraid of how she might react to you or her male friends.”

Tom looked to Nathan who was now staring at a patch on the ground. Someone had split coffee or tea on the floor as it was a considerably darker patch on the carpet than its normal colour. Tears filled Nathan’s eyes. The thought of not being able to be in the same room as Millie again saddened him. Tom watched Nathan’s eyes fill with water and a few tears run down his cheeks. He started to see Nathan differently. Was this Nathan looking like he genuinely liked her?

“I’m her brother though,” Tom said, angry that the doctor thought Millie wouldn’t even want to see her own brother. “She must want me in the room with her. I’m the only family she’s got down here.”

“Mate,” Nathan spoke. His voice sounded broken. “Why don’t you call your parents?” It hurt Nathan to say it. It was basically like saying ‘why don’t you take Millie home?’

“Jay won’t let it,” Tom mumbled. “I can’t split them up. Not when they’ve been through all that shit before. Where is Jay, anyway?”

Nathan’s anger built up inside of him. He threw his chair back as he left the room. His mind flicked back to the scene he saw in Jay and Millie’s room. Tom apologised to Dr Plait and ran after Nathan, listening out for the sounds of Nathan hitting his fists against walls. When Tom had reached Nathan, he was sat against the wall in the corridor outside Millie’s room. Kelsey was sitting next to him, rubbing his arm and trying to make him feel better.

“What was that?” Tom asked, calmly. He didn’t want to set Nathan off again.

“Britt and Jay slept together,” Kelsey whispered. Tom didn’t believe it. He didn’t want to believe it. He stood up and threw the door open to Millie’s room. She was still asleep. He pulled a chair up to her bedside and sat there, staring at how damaged she looked. He’d seen her through the gap in the blinds but being that far away didn’t show all the swelling that had resulted from the beatings Taylor had given her. Bruising and strangle marks around her neck. Cuts on her cheekbones. The swelling of her mouth. He lifted the bed sheet down and saw her arms bruised and cut. Her left arm had puncture wounds from the needles Taylor had stuck into her arm to inject the heroin in. Her wrists were scabbed and raw from the amount of times Taylor had handcuffed or plainly tied her hands together to stop her from hitting him. Tom turned Millie on to her side and saw the bruising along her back from the multiple bangs against her back from the stairs as Taylor dragged her up them. Tom rolled her back onto her back and felt sorry for his sister. She never deserved to be treated like this.

The sedative was wearing off slightly after a couple of hours. Kelsey and Nathan stayed sitting outside the room. Jay arrived shortly after Tom had gone into Millie’s room but he kept to himself. Kelsey explained what the doctor had told Nathan and Tom and then she slapped him hard around the face, telling him that he was stupid and to not do that again. Millie started to thrash about as the nightmares returned. She hit Tom accidentally in the chin which caused her to wake up. At first sight of Tom, she panicked and backed away from him. She then registered who it was and burst into tears. Tom wrapped his arms around her, crying himself. He climbed on the bed as best as he could, not letting Millie go. Millie cried into Tom’s chest while he sobbed into her hair until neither had the energy or the tears left in them.

  39. Millie the mute

Millie had been silent the entire time that Tom was in her room. When any nurses came in to see how she was doing, she nodded and shook her head to their questions. When the nurses had left, Tom squeezed his arm around Millie’s shoulders. “What’s up?” He asked, hoping to get a response out of her. Millie shrugged in response. She wanted to speak but there was something holding her back from actually forming words and letting them roll off her tongue. She held her left hand up only to see that the engagement ring had gone. She pointed to her finger anyway. “I don’t know where it is,” Tom replied. Millie shook her head. She pointed at the finger again and then made her hand flat with her thumb curving out, making a ‘J’ with her hand. “Oh, erm, he’s outside. Do you want him to come in?” Millie was a bit hesitant to react to this question. She thought about Jay but was blinded by the flashback of Taylor beating her. She retreated into Tom’s arms which made him automatically wrap them around her. She winced as he pressed against all the bruises and he loosened his grip on her. “Okay, we won’t bring him in. What about Kelsey?” Millie nodded. “I’ll be back in a second.” Tom kissed her temple and slid off the bed. He opened the hospital room door and quietly shut it behind him. Both Jay and Nathan stood up from their seats; Nathan threw a disgusted look at Jay. “She’s not speaking. She asked about you, Jay. Then she shot back into my arms. I think she may have had a flashback to Taylor. I’m not completely sure. But she’s willing to see Kelsey.” Kelsey suddenly paid attention. She stood up off the floor and rushed into the room. Tom stayed outside with the boys.

“Mils,” Kelsey cried as soon as she got to Millie’s bedside. “I’m so sorry we moved from the dance floor.” Kelsey couldn’t help but let the tears flow. “It’s all my fault. If only I’d gone to the bar with you.” Millie shook her head at Kelsey. Kelsey wouldn’t stop crying though. This went on for a couple of minutes before Millie slapped Kelsey round the face. Kelsey was shocked Millie actually did this. Kelsey forgave her though, stopped crying and sat down on the edge of her bed. “Tom said you’re not speaking. Why?” Millie looked away from Kelsey. “Either you can’t or you won’t?” Millie shrugged her shoulders. She looked back out to Tom and the lads.

Nathan kept looking over to Millie but she avoided all of their eye contact. The feeling Nathan had in his chest was ... it’s kind of hard to explain. You know the feeling you have when your chest feels like it’s deflating from something sad like an abandoned puppy or kitten, or if you see someone you love be hurt by the person they love. That feeling was the only thing running through him. He walked off from the group, making an excuse that he had to go to the toilet. He walked away and found a corner where no one would bother him. He sat by himself, thinking about everything. No matter how many times he thought about wanting to be with Millie to support her through this time, all he could manage to end up thinking about was how he should help Millie get over this so she and Jay could be back together. They were the couple that end up together after everything. They were going to be the couple that would be each other’s strengths. Make it through it all together.

  40. Nathan acceptance

Five days and Millie still hadn't let any of the lads into her hospital room. Kelsey had tried to persuade her to let Nathan or Jay in but Millie shook her head and started to shake if they even came near the door. The lads' rehearsals and recording had stopped. Jayne had understood why the lads had asked for it all to stop for the moment. She came in to visit Millie and Millie let her in to see her. Millie was talking to Kelsey and Tom on a regular basis now. If another person came into the room, Millie would usually go quiet.

Jay was frustrated that Millie didn't want to see him. It wasn't so much that she didn't want to see him, she was just scared of what might happen. With Jay's frustration came with him calling Britt up and spending time with her - in and out of the bedroom. While all the lads were hanging outside Millie's hospital room on the fifth day, Siva suggested that he and Jay would go for a walk. They headed outside and this was when Siva - the reasonable one - would bring the subject of Britt up.

"What is going on with you and Britt exactly?" Siva asked. They slowly walked around the hospital gardens. "Well, why are you doing this to Millie? We know what's going on between you and Britt."

"Millie's never going to get over this," Jay mumbled. He looked up at Siva and shrugged his shoulders.

"How do you know that?" Siva asked, placing a hand on Jay's shoulder.

"It will never be the same. I know it won't." Jay sank down on to one of the benches. "I love her but ... This is going to make me sound like the biggest jerk in the world but, I don't think I could cope without the sex we used to have. I love how no matter what time of day, she'd be up for it and how she would wake me up in the middle of the night just because she was horny. Now I'll be lucky if I can even touch her!"

Siva stood up from the bench and walked off. He couldn't believe that Jay was going to be that shallow. He thought the love he had for Millie was genuine and he'd do anything for Millie, even help her through this. But no, Jay was going to be shallow and only think about a small part of their life together. Siva stormed back to Millie's room and sat himself next to Nathan and in front of Max. He explained what Jay had just said to him. Nathan became more upset than angry. He thought of how Millie would react to the fact that Jay was cheating on her just because of the small thing Millie may not be able to give him.

Nathan lifted himself off of the ground and went into Millie's room. Tom was at Millie's bedside and as soon as she saw Nathan, she went silent. However she wasn't scared so much. Tom moved from the bedside and let Nathan sit there. He took Millie's hand in his and gently kissed her fingertips.

"Please don't sit there in silence," Nathan pleaded. Millie tried to pull her hand away but Nathan didn't want to let go. Millie soon realised that Nathan wasn't going to hurt her and relaxed a little.

"I'm scared Nathan," were all the words that came out of Millie's mouth before Nathan wrapped his arms around her. The bruising had gone down slightly and she wasn't in so much pain. Nathan kissed her head. Jay returned and looked through the window to see Nathan on the bed with Millie in his arms. Jay threw open the door to Millie's room and broke Millie and Nathan apart. Millie started shaking as Jay showed his aggressive side. Tom grabbed a hold of Jay and pushed him out of the room.

"Nathan has no right to be there with Millie!" Jay shouted when they got down the corridor. "Why does she want to see him but not me?"

"You think anymore is going to happen between you when she finds out you've cheated on her?" Tom asked. He shook his head at Jay. Jay bit his lip, feeling guilty about the fact he's been seeing Britt behind everyone's back.

"Please don't tell her," Jay pleaded. His eyes begged for forgiveness from Tom.

"I won't tell her, but I won't lie to her if she asks."

Jay looked down to the floor. If she was fine with Nathan giving her a cuddle on the bed then maybe they could go back to how they used to be. He made his way back to Millie's room and stood outside the window. Nathan glanced up to the window and threw Jay a disgusted look. Millie was still trembling in his arms. Jay sighed to himself. He honestly thought he may have lost her. Lost her over a stupid mistake. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked Britt's number up. He pressed dial and waited for her to answer. He got her voicemail.

"Hey, Britt," he muttered down the line. He sighed again, not wanting to even be in this situation. “We can’t do this anymore. Go back to the US and please don’t come back. For all of our sakes. I need to try and make things better with Millie. I need to at least try. Goodbye Britt.” And with that, he hung up on Britt’s voicemail, hoping to never see or hear from her again.

  41. Getting out of hospital

Three months down the line and Millie was cleared to go home. However, home was now Tom’s spare bedroom. Millie still wasn’t accepting Jay into her presence. She was still having flashbacks of Taylor beating her which were slightly mixed with Jay’s anger that he showed sometimes in the past. Millie was talking to and letting Max and Siva into her room. Jay just hung about outside the room waiting for the moment that Millie would allow him into her room. Nathan sat in the back seat of Tom’s car with Millie. Kelsey was in the front controlling the radio.

“H-h-h-have they done anything about Taylor?” Millie asked. Her hand tightened around her leg and her fingernails pierced her skin lightly. Nathan took her hand in his and squeezed her fingers between his.

“They haven’t found him,” Nathan mumbled in her ear. “The police have tried looking for him and people know who to look out for. Don’t worry.” Millie trembled slightly. Nathan wrapped his arm around Millie, trying to protect her.

It wasn’t long before Tom pulled up outside his block of flats. Kelsey opened the car door for Millie and led her upstairs. Kelsey had persuaded Tom to decorate the spare bedroom for Millie. As no one knew how long it was or if Millie would ever be able to see Jay again. She sat down on her new bed. Kelsey left to make everyone a cup of tea. Millie sank into her bed covers. Tom and Nathan bought her stuff into the room. Jay had packed everything of hers into his car and taken it round there yesterday. It took him a couple of weeks to pack everything up. He was grasping onto every little hope he had that she would become better and let him into her life again. Nathan had been her go to guy though. She went to him for protection.

Kelsey made everyone a tea. Nathan took Millie her cup of tea. “How’re you feeling?” He asked as he handed Millie’s cup of tea to her.

“Thanks,” she smiled. “I’d feel better if there were some biscuits to go with this tea.” Nathan chuckled as he left the room to grab some biscuits. When he returned to Millie’s room, she was watching the TV. It was six o’clock so the news was on the main channels.

“Today, we saw the sister of The Wanted boy band member, Tom Parker, become discharged from the psych ward of Mercy Grey Hospital in London,” the newsreader announced. There was then some video footage of Tom with his arm wrapped around Millie leaving the hospital. “Tom, Nathan, Tom’s girlfriend Kelsey Hardwick, and Tom’s sister Millicent refused to make any comment on the discharge or even why she was in the psych ward.”

“Let’s turn this off,” Nathan said, making a move for the remote. Millie snatched the remote up from the bed in front of her and shook her head.

“There has still been no word on the whereabouts of Taylor Hawk/Sparrow. He is thought to have left the country. We urge anyone to report any sightings of him.” They then proceeded to show pictures of Taylor. Millie screamed, dropped her cup of tea and ran out of the room. She ran into Tom’s arms and burst into a set of tears.

  42. Wedding planning

Kelsey had held the planning of the wedding off while Millie was in hospital. As the boys had gone back to working on the album, Kelsey had arranged for Jade to come round and they’d discuss more about Kelsey and Tom’s wedding. Kelsey had pushed her appointment for her wedding dress back until she felt Millie would be alright. Jade was Kelsey’s maid of honour. She was the most help. As Jade and Kelsey sat chatting about plans for the wedding, Millie felt left out and left the living room to hang out on her laptop in her bedroom. She opened Tumblr up and saw pictures of Jay and Max hanging out with each other.

Millie did miss Jay but the constant flashbacks of Taylor and the anger Jay has showed a couple of times had mixed together slightly. Neither Jay nor Millie had called off their engagement. Well, not officially. Millie no longer had the engagement ring as Taylor had ripped it off her finger and disposed of it somewhere other than the flat he held her hostage in. Millie couldn’t even have Jay in Tom’s flat. Tom hadn’t left Millie by herself in the flat. She hadn’t returned to work so if neither Tom nor Kelsey were going to be in the house, Millie was taken with one of them while they worked. It was usually Kelsey she hung out with.

Kelsey had chosen a colour scheme for her wedding; navy blue and cream. The bridesmaids’ dresses were pretty much chosen but the girls just needed to be fitted.

**

“Champagne for the ladies,” a smart dressed lady offered the three girls. Each of them took a glass off of the tray. The bottle was placed in a bucket of ice on the side. For the bridesmaids’ dresses, there was a choice of three styles. One style was a mid-sleeve navy blue that ended just above the knees, another was a dress with spaghetti straps and ended below the knees and the last one was again navy blue, strapless and ended about mid-thigh. When both Millie and Jade tried it on, they stepped out of their dressing rooms and looked at Kelsey with wide eyes and big grins on their faces as if to say that this was the one they wanted to wear on her wedding day. Kelsey sat down on the sofa with a massive grin on her face. She also knew that they were the perfect dresses. She took a photo of both of the girls and sent it to Tom.

Kelsey: Are these alright? Xx [attached picture of Millie and Jade]

Tom: Perfect babe xx

Kelsey grinned to herself. The dresses were marked with different adjustments that were needed to be made on each dress. Kelsey had decided that navy heels and a small bunch of cream roses would be needed to go with the dresses.

  43. Jay and Nathan hang out

Jay and Nathan were hanging out in Nathan’s flat. They hadn’t hung out – just the two of them – for a while now. They’d all been working or Nathan had been at Tom’s. Jay knew it was nearly the end of him and Millie. Nathan had a Man United match on the TV. They weren’t playing that well this game so Nathan didn’t really pay attention to it. As soon as Jay walked into Nathan’s flat, he headed for the fridge and pulled a beer out. He sank straight into the sofa after his first gulp of it.

“Me and Millie are over, aren’t we?” Jay asked Nathan. Nathan was a bit hesitant with responding but he eventually shrugged his shoulders. Jay sighed heavily.

“I think you just need to give her a bit of time,” Nathan suggested, placing a hand on Jay’s shoulder.

“It’s been five months,” Jay sighed. “How much time should I give her before realising that it’s completely over? I just want her back.” Jay sunk his head into his hands; his elbows propped up on his knees. “I just need my Millie back.” Jay started to weep into his hands. Nathan realised after a few seconds that Jay was crying and quickly put his arm around Jay to comfort him. They both sat in silence as Jay continued to cry.

After a few minutes, Jay wiped his face and stood up from the sofa. He drank the rest of his beer and headed to the kitchen to make tea for him and Nathan. As the kettle boiled, he chewed the skin around his thumb as he thought about him and Millie; how they used to be so cuddly and together and how they couldn’t even be in the same flat together because Millie was too scared. He bit through a couple of layers of skin and ripped it away from his thumb. He found it weird that he was vegetarian but could bite through human skin. Fair enough, it was his own but he still found it strange.

  44. Millie voices her thoughts                         

Kelsey and Millie were the only ones in the flat. Kelsey made them both a cup of tea and brought it back into the living room. She silently turned the TV off and faced Millie. Millie warily took a sip of her tea and placed it in her lap, still cradling her hands either side of the mug.

“It’s been five months, Mils,” Kelsey said. Her voice sounded a lot louder than it actually was because of the silence that filled the flat. “When are you going to let Jay back into your life?”

Millie felt guilty about this. But whenever she looked at old pictures, there were some faces or expressions that Jay pulled that reminded Millie of Taylor and she’d chuck the photos away from her, curl up in a ball and shake until the images had stopped occurring in her head. “I don’t think I can ever see Jay again,” Millie whispered. Kelsey placed her hand on Millie’s forearm and squeezed. “He doesn’t remind me completely of that twat but it’s a little smirk or his shocked expression that send me into like this wild panic attack of flashbacks. I don’t think I could ever go back to Jay until Taylor was found. Even then, I'm not sure if I could be with Jay.” Millie started to feel tears roll down her cheeks. She placed her mug on the coffee table. “I miss him, but I’m scared,” Millie choked. Kelsey wrapped her arms around Millie. Millie turned into Kelsey and cried, soaking Kelsey’s hoody she was wearing.

After a few minutes, and when all the tears ran out, Millie left the living room and went along to her bedroom. She opened up her laptop and clicked on the videos folder. She had a bunch of her, Jay and Nathan messing about. She clicked on the first one which was labelled “Flourbombing aftermath”. Millie smiled as she remembered that the original flourbomb attack was supposed to be aimed at Nathan but in the end, she and Jay were practically on each other.

  45. Jay’s inside voice

Jay returned with the tea. Nathan thanked Jay for his and took a sip before placing it on the floor next to the sofa. “I’ve just had a text from Millie,” Nathan smiled at Jay. “She’s watching old videos of the three of us when she first moved in with us.” Jay smiled weakly. That was when he hadn’t thought of Millie as more than a friend. It was before he fell in love.

‘You wouldn’t have cheated on Millie if you loved her,’ a voice inside Jay’s head said. He mentally shook his head to rid the thought. ‘If you truly loved Millie, you would have tried harder to be in her life. You wouldn’t just sit on the sidelines. Nathan did it. Nathan walked straight into Millie’s room and sat with her. You were pathetic and lousy and sat outside her hospital room, waiting to be allowed in.’

“You alright mate?” Nathan asked, noticing that Jay wasn’t paying attention to him telling Jay about the flourbombing video.

“Erm, I think I just need to go home and have a nap,” Jay shrugged. He left his tea on the windowsill, untouched, and left Nathan’s flat.

‘You said you’d never drive if you’d ever had a milligram of alcohol in you!’

“Shut up,” Jay said in a hushed tone to himself. Luckily, the stairway was empty. “I had one beer and I can’t get drunk off of one beer!”

‘I’m just saying what you said to yourself,’ the voice continued. ‘When are you going to see Millie? Or will you invite Britt around sometime?’

Jay ignored the voice in his head until he had reached his car. He angrily threw the driver’s door open and climbed in. He slammed the door shut and started the engine, not bothering with the seatbelt.

‘Drunk and no seatbelt? I can see this going well,’ the voice sarcastically said.

“Shut the fuck up!” Jay cursed. He pulled out of the car park for Nathan’s block of flats and started the journey home. The voice bugged him the whole way home until he reached his fridge and drowned it out with music and Ouzo.

  46. Taylor arrested

Millie was still asleep when the news broke.

The minivan to pick all five boys up had just pulled up. Nathan jumped out of it and rushed up to Tom’s flat. Tom answered the door in a pair of trackies and with a toothbrush hanging out his mouth. The TV was on the news in the living room with a half-asleep Kelsey lying on the sofa in front of it.

“Hey, Kels,” Nathan chuckled. “Anything interesting?” Kelsey grunted in return, her eyes still closed.

“Breaking news,” the news reporter said in a serious tone. “Taylor Hawk was arrested at 3:15am this morning.” Tom ran from his bathroom into the living room, Kelsey sat upright and Nathan stood in front of the TV. “He was spotted yesterday evening up in Glasgow. Police were notified by the girl working on the front desk at nightclub Indigo. He left after a couple of hours and police followed him to his flat in Glasgow city centre.”

“Where’s Millie?” Nathan asked, turning around to face a very awake Kelsey and an alerted Tom.

“She needs to see this,” Tom said and rushed off to Millie’s room. She shook her awake, which caused her to lash out. “Millie!” Millie noticed he looked too alert for the usual morning. “Millie, they’ve caught Taylor.” Millie pretty much jumped out of bed, tears filling her eyes and ran to the living room door. She stopped before she could see the TV, not wanting to see his face.

“Taylor Hawk or also known as Taylor Sparrow was accused of assaulting and raping Millicent Parker, sister of The Wanted member Tom Parker. He is currently being transported to London to be held until a court seeing has become available.”

Millie let out a sigh of relief. Nathan came up to her and wrapped his arms around her. She cried happy tears into his chest and placed a single kiss on the bottom of his neck, just where his top started. Nathan ignored this as he still saw Millie as Jay’s girlfriend. Millie wanted to take the small kiss back as soon as her lips touched his skin. She felt comfortable around Nathan. Why could she not see this before? Why couldn’t she have just been with him since they had slept together that night a year and a half ago?

  47. Jay’s relief

“We’ve just had some news which I think the Wanted lads will be happy to hear about,” Chris Moyles announced on the radio. “Dom, would you like to announce it? Well, you should ‘cause it is the news!”

“Erm, thanks Chris?” Dom questioned followed by chuckling from Chris. “Yes, we’ve just been informed that in the early hours of this morning, Taylor Hawk had been arrested up in Glasgow. Now, to most people that name is familiar as five months ago now, he kidnapped, assaulted and raped the sister of Tom Parker from the Wanted, Millie Parker.”

“When we last saw the lads,” Chris started. “They weren’t in too good a shape, were they?” There was a few grunts of agreement from the rest of Chris’ team. “Especially Jay. Tom said that Millie still wouldn’t let Jay into her sight. Hopefully this news will let them be as close as they were.”

“They were so cute together,” Sarah who also does news commented. “Just before it all happened, Millie had come with them and her and Jay were just so cute. I wanted them to get married and have five children right there and then.”

“What has actually happened about the engagement?” Dave asked.

“The engagement ring was taken off of her when she was kidnapped but as far as I think anyone knows,” Chris said. “They haven’t announced it being called off. Whether the Wanted lads know any different. Lads, if ya listening, give us a bell.”

Tom and Nathan joined the lads in the van. “Did you hear?” Jay asked Tom with a smile on his face. “Taylor’s been arrested!”

“It was on the TV,” Tom grinned. “I hope that bastard gets what he did to my sister in prison.”

“Bit harsh mate,” Nathan chuckled as he sat down in his usual back seat. He faced Jay who was also on the back seat. “Hopefully, your girl will be back to normal soon. Hopefully, you’ll have your Millie back!”

Jay smiled. He hadn’t smiled like this for a loooonnngggg time. Even with his pounding hangover headache from all the Ouzo he drank last night.

  48. Millie returns

“Shall we go out to celebrate Taylor’s arrest tonight?” Tom asked Millie when he returned from his day at work. Millie thought about this for a few seconds.

“Will Jay be there?” She asked. Tom looked everywhere around the room, avoiding eye contact as much as possible.

“Well, I thought he could be there,” he looked back at her. “Only if you want him there.”

Millie nodded. Tom’s face broke into a grin before he left her bedroom and made phone calls to each of the boys to say that the group of them were going out for drinks. A couple of hours later and they were down the pub. They were waiting for Tom, Millie and Kelsey to show up. He kept continuous eye contact with the door, not wanting to miss the moment that he and Millie could be in the same room or even area again. The door to the pub opened for what felt like the thousandth time this evening. It wasn’t Millie.

“You’re so on edge,” Max chuckled. He turned back to his phone; carrying on the text conversation he started with Harri.

“Shut up, whipped,” Jay smirked. Max grabbed Jay’s ear and started to rub the top of it between his index finger and thumb. Max carried on his texting with his right hand.

“Hey, douchebags,” Tom laughed as he approached the table with Kelsey and Millie arm-in-arm behind him. Jay looked up and met Millie’s eyes. He didn’t even realise that he’d stood up and rushed over to her, taking her in his arms and gently lifting her off her feet. Millie’s heart beat a little faster but she realised he wasn’t hurting her so embraced him in the hug. She missed him and the stupid part of her that was scared just got the better of her the last five months. Silence filled their area of the pub as all four lads, Kelsey and Jade watched Millie and Jay. Jay didn’t want to let go of her; he wanted to keep her in his arms, lifted above the ground for the rest of their lives.

“I missed you, so much,” Jay murmured into Millie’s neck.

“I missed you too,” Millie whispered into his ear. Jay gently placed her onto her feet, running a hand through her hair. He placed his hand back on her cheek which caused her to flinch.

“I’m sorry,” he apologised and whipped his hand away from her face. She shook her head.

“I know you won’t hurt me,” she said, now avoiding his eye contact. “I get like this with anyone.”

Nathan had confusion on his face which Tom noticed. Tom caught Nathan’s attention and shook his head at him. ‘Don’t even think about saying what you’re thinking’ Tom mouthed to Nathan. ‘What?’ Nathan replied. Nathan knew exactly what Tom was thinking about. He was thinking that Millie never flinched when Nathan touched her. In fact, she was the one that would usually initiate the flirtatious touching of the arms, face, legs.

Millie and Jay sat themselves in the booth while Tom went off to get a few drinks in. Millie sat in the booth first so that she was sat between Jay and Nathan. Nathan placed his arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple before placing his arm back by his side and going on Twitter.

@NathanTheWanted: our Millie’s back. Think @JayTheWanted is pleased #JayllieReunited

Jay’s arm snaked around the back of the seat and he started lightly running his fingertips along Millie’s shoulder which made her jump slightly. She shivered involuntarily as he continued but leant into Jay’s body. The happiness flowing through his body was too much for him to handle. He let out a couple of tears and kissed Millie’s head. It’s within reach to have his Millie back completely in his arms.

  49. Trying on the wedding dress

Kelsey was in the dressing room in the bridal shop, trying on her wedding dress. Jade, Millie, Jay, Nathan and Siva were all there waiting for her to come out. It had only been a few days since the pub but they’d spent every waking moment together. Well, ever waking clothed moment together. Jay went home when Millie went off to bed and was back round for breakfast the next morning. She’d stopped flinching at his touch now.

“I still love you,” Jay whispered into Millie’s ear. She wanted to say it back but she didn’t know if she’d mean it. Instead she turned to him and pulled herself up on to her toes, planting a soft, small, gentle kiss on his lips. She placed her feet firmly back on the ground in time for Kelsey stepping out of the changing room with her dress on. She did look amazing in it. Nathan and Siva were asking why she’d never worn a wedding dress before because of how stunning she looked.

“I don’t look too pale, do I?” Kelsey asked Jade and Millie.

“No way,” Jade scoffed. “Kels, babe, you look fucking amazing.”

Millie rushed up to Kelsey and hugged her. “My brother already loves you. You could be dressed in a bin bag and he’d still be proud to walk down that aisle with you, okay?” Millie whispered into Kelsey’s ear. She took a step back from Kelsey and admired the dress. “Plus, looking like that, I think he’ll give you the best sex you’ll ever have that night!”

“Millie,” Kelsey giggled and hid her face in her hands. Millie shrugged and went back to standing between Nathan and Jay. She took Jay’s hand in hers and he kissed her on the cheek. Jay looked from Millie to Kelsey and imagined Millie in that wedding dress.

“I think I agree with Mils, weirdly enough,” Nathan chuckled. “He’s not going to be able to keep his hands off of you!” Nathan’s mind flashed to Millie in a wedding dress. It was like Jay and Nathan were completely on the same wavelength. Nathan suddenly realised what he was thinking and shook the thought from his head. Millie was definitely back together with Jay now; there was no chance of them ever being something.

Once Kelsey had been marked down for the alterations needed on her dress, they all headed out for lunch. It was Nathan’s treat for all of them before he headed off on his separate way home afterwards.

“Nath!” Millie called, running after him before he could completely walk off. Jay hung back, chatting away to Kelsey. “Thanks for lunch, but you really didn’t have to.”

“Who else am I going to spend my money on, Mils,” Nathan chuckled, looking down at his feet. Millie wrapped her arms around Nathan’s neck and pulled him in for a hug. He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her in place. Nathan looked over to where Jay, Kelsey and that were standing. Jay was still chatting away to Kelsey. “Go back to Jay.”

“What?” Millie asked, letting go of Nathan’s neck.

“Go back to Jay,” Nathan repeated. “He deserves to spend more time with you now.”

“Nathan? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Millie,” Nathan smiled weakly.

“Nathan,” Millie whined and stepped closer to him; wrapping her arms around his chest and resting her head on his shoulder. “Tell me what’s up.”

Nathan buried his head in her neck. “Nothing,” Nathan sighed. He softly planted a small kiss, exactly like the one she gave him a few days before, on her neck. Millie gasped and took a step away from Nathan.

“You felt it?” Millie asked. She looked at the spot where Nathan’s neck met his t-shirt.

“Of course I did,” Nathan said, stepping towards Millie. Millie looked into Nathan’s eyes. “But I ignored it because you and Jay are meant to be together.”

Millie rolled her eyes. “What if we’re not actually meant to be together?” And with that, she turned on her heel and headed back to Kelsey, Jay, Jade and Siva.

  50. Jay loses his temper

“What was that about?” Jay chuckled as Millie wrapped her arm around his waist.

“Nothing, he just made some stupid comment,” Millie smiled. Jay kissed her forehead, letting the subject drop while they were out in public. He thought something wasn’t right.

Siva and Jade headed off in the direction of Siva’s car while Kelsey, Millie and Jay headed off for where Kelsey’s car was parked. Millie sat in the front after calling shotgun. When the three of them got back to Tom and Kelsey’s, Millie headed straight for her bedroom. Jay followed her and shut the door behind him.

“What was actually said between you and Nathan?” Jay asked as he sat down on the end of Millie’s bed.

“Nothing important, Jay, okay?” Millie insisted. Jay knew something important to her was said.

“I don’t believe you,” Jay said a bit louder. “You seem really pissed about something that was said between the two of you.”

“Jay, just leave it,” Millie sighed.

“No!” Jay half-shouted as he stood up from the bed. “Why won’t you tell me what was said between the two of you? If it wasn’t anything important, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal to tell me!”

“Jay, stop, please,” Millie said, a little weaker. Jay getting angry was starting to scare her.

“Why the fuck won’t you tell me?” Jay yelled. “Does he like you or did something happen between the two of you while you wouldn’t let me into your life?”

“Kelsey?” Millie yelled, upset by Jay’s anger.

“Come on,” Jay continued. “Tell me what Nath said to you, or did something happen?”

Kelsey burst into the room at this point. Millie had cowered into a ball on the bed while Jay was yelling at her. He couldn’t see the effect he was having on her. He couldn’t see how much he was potentially breaking their relationship by yelling at her. Kelsey – although she is small and slim compared to Jay who was tall and broad – managed to grab Jay by his arms and force him out of Millie’s room. Kelsey took him down to the living room and made him calm down on the sofa.

“What the hell was that about Jay?” Kelsey asked. She stood by the door to refrain him from heading back to Millie’s room.

“Something wasn’t right about Millie when she came back from talking to Nath earlier,” Jay sulked. “I just wanted to know what happened.”

“So you thought yelling and accusing her of doing something with Nathan was the right way to go about it?” Kelsey asked. She shook her head at Jay. “You absolute twat. Millie and Nathan have become close because she trusts him. He’s never raised his  voice at her, he’s never grabbed her, he’s made her feel safe the whole time he’s been around her. You might’ve just fucked that up between you and Millie. You yelled at her and made her crawl up in a ball and shake. You’re completely unaware of what that could do for your relationship, aren’t ya!?” Jay wasn’t use to Kelsey getting like this. “Get out of the flat, Jay,” Kelsey asked. Jay was about to argue a point for him to stay when Kelsey made a face to say she meant for him to leave. Jay sighed and left the flat.

  51. Nathsey see to Millie

Kelsey waited until Jay was out of the flat before she locked the door and headed straight to Millie’s room. Millie was still in a ball and shaking quite heavily. She was crying into her duvet, saying Nathan’s name. Saying “I need Nathan here” and “Where’s Nathan?” over and over again. Kelsey wrapped her arm around Millie and pulled her into her while pulling her phone out and calling Nathan.

“Millie’s asking for you,” Kelsey whispered down the phone. “Please come round like right now.” Nathan could hear whimpering sounds coming from Kelsey’s end and hung up immediately. He made his way to Tomsey’s flat as quickly as he could. Kelsey unlocked the door to let him in and he ran to Millie’s room. He pulled Millie into a hug and held her there, stroking his hand through her hair, rubbing her side in comfort to try and calm her down.

“What happened?” Nathan asked both Millie who was still in his arms, curled up to his chest, and Kelsey who was stood leaning against the doorframe.

“I heard Jay yelling at her,” Kelsey spoke. Millie nodded in agreement.

“He was yelling at me and asking me if something was going on between us and he scared me, Nath,” Millie whimpered. She looked up to Nathan who squeezed her tighter in his arms. He kissed her forehead and rocked her in his arms.

“I had to kick him out of the flat in the end.” Kelsey sat down on the end of Millie’s bed. “He was being completely out of order. I even had to have a go at him for being such a twat.” Kelsey sighed and stood back up again. “Tea?” Nathan nodded his head. She didn’t even have to ask Millie.

As soon as Kelsey left the room, Millie moved as close as she could to Nathan. She nuzzled her face into his neck and he held her there. Nathan felt like he was crossing the line but he wasn’t going to make a proper move until they’d both confirmed that they'd broken up.

  52. First night alone

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” Tom asked Millie the fifth time this evening. Tom and Kelsey were having an evening out by themselves; leaving Millie alone in their flat for the first time in the five months.

“Yes, just make sure you lock the door on the way out,” Millie smiled. Tom bit his lip anxiously.

“If you need anything, absolutely anything, Nathan’s at a mate’s house tonight so he’ll be close.” Tom gave Millie yet another hug. “We’ll be back later.”

“Okay, Tom,” Millie chuckled. “Go have a nice time with your fiancée, without your annoying little sister tagging along.”

Tom kissed Millie’s forehead before heading out the door and locking it. As soon as Millie heard the click of the lock, she relaxed. She took her jeans and hoody off and put on her onesie. She grabbed a bag of skittles out of the cupboard and settled in front of the TV. A marathon of the Dog Whisperer was on NatGeoWildHD. Millie sank into sofa and ripped open the skittles.

Stupid skittles.

She didn’t particularly like them until Jay bought no other sweets apart from them. Now, as soon as she started a pack, she couldn’t put them down.

  53. Sneaky

Millie had dragged herself to her bedroom around half 10, after nearly falling off the sofa and spilling skittles everywhere. As soon as she reached her bed, pulled the duvet back, climbed into the bed and wrapped herself up in her duvet, she fell straight to sleep. Meanwhile Tom and Kelsey were just finishing up in the restaurant.

“Should we go back or are we going to go out?” Kelsey asked. She knew Tom would be itching to go back but it hadn’t been just the two of them going out in a long, long, long time.

“We’re already out and I’m guessing Millie’s okay, let’s go out,” Tom grinned at Kelsey before kissing her.

*

Jay’s POV

It was easy enough to get in the door. Tom always had a spare key hidden in the gap of the doorframe at the top of the door. I placed it back after I’d unlocked the door. Thankfully, Tom had fixed the squeak the door use to make every time you swung it open. I looked into the living room to see the light on but the TV switched off with a scattering of skittles across the floor. Kelsey would flip as soon as they got back. I made my way to Millie’s room and found her asleep, wrapped up in her duvet. I sat down on her bed and rubbed my thumb over her cheek. I miss her so much. Fuck it. I kicked my shoes off and lifted the duvet up gently. I wrapped my arms around her waist and cuddled her until I fell asleep.

  54. Startled awakening

Millie woke up the next morning feeling a little groggy for some reason. She rolled over onto her back and noticed someone asleep next to her. She fell out of the bed from pushing away from the body and started screaming for Tom. Jay woke up from the screaming, rubbed his eyes and then realised what was going on.

“No, Millie,” Jay said calmly. “No, it’s okay.”

“What the hell are you doing here Jay?” Millie asked, tears staining her face. Tom ran into the room in a pair of trackies which were on back to front.

“Jay?” Tom asked.

“Look,” Jay started. “It’s okay, Mils.” Millie shook her head at Jay. “Millie, I am insanely in love with you. I want all this to end so that we can go back to how we used to be.”

“We’ll never be like we used to be, Jay,” Millie sobbed. “It’s not because of you, it’s because of me, because of what Taylor did to me. I’m finding it hard to trust you again.”

Jay climbed off the bed and knelt in front of Millie on the floor. “Take as long as you need,” Jay said and went to stroke Millie’s face. She couldn’t look him in the eyes and flinched away when Jay stretched his hand out to stroke her cheek. Jay sighed before standing up and making his way out of the room, grabbing his shoes on the way.

  55. Taylor’s trial

The morning of Taylor’s trial was very tense. Millie had to sit at the front of the court with the lads’ lawyer from the record label. Taylor was escorted in with two security guards and kept enclosed in a wooden box that was only half-height walls. Millie glanced over to Taylor but as soon as they met each other’s eyes, she darted them away and found her hands were trembling in her lap. Hopefully, after the next couple of days, he’d be behind bars and she’d never have to see him again.

The trail was long and boring. Millie was questioned about everything that happened leading up to the kidnapping, during the kidnapping, and anything that happened after she was found. Kelsey, Jade and Britt had to give testimonials and were questioned afterwards. While Britt was giving her testimonial, Millie kept glancing between Britt and Nathan. She hadn’t heard anything about Britt from Nathan for a while. Britt hadn’t gone to see her in hospital or in the psych ward. ‘Had they broken up?’ was the thought going through Millie’s mind. Nathan hadn’t talked about them breaking up. Britt was finished and made her way out of the court room. Now it was Taylor’s turn.

“Can you tell me what happened the night you supposedly kidnapped Millicent?” Taylor’s lawyer asked.

“Well, I went out for a few drinks with some friends,” Taylor started, an evil glint in his eyes. “We’d had a couple of shots and were looking to hook up with some girls. When I went to the bar at one point, I saw my amazing ex-girlfriend, Millie. Well, we’re referring to her as Millicent in here, aren’t we? Anyway, I saw Millie and stood next to her at the bar. She was quite drunk and had just won a dance-off and was having her drinks paid for all night by the club. She was getting a free drink off the bartender when I went over to her. I said something along the lines of how she never danced like that with me and the bartender placed her drink in front of me. I handed it over and she walked off away from me. I then saw her again a few minutes later, she’d finished her drink and nearly fell onto the floor, but I caught her. She then passed out in my arms. I carried her home.”

“Whose home did you carry her to?” Millie’s lawyer stepped in.

“Mine,” Taylor smirked and stared at Millie. He never stopped staring as he gave the rest of his testimonial.

There was a 10 minute break between Taylor’s testimonial and his questioning. Millie nearly ran out of that courtroom because of how scared she was of Taylor. She saw Tom and Nathan standing round the corner and ran into Tom’s arms. She pulled away from Tom to give Nathan a hug when she saw Max, Siva and Jay standing there. Millie wasn’t too keen on the whole thing of karma and oras and all that nonsense but she could sense something different with Jay. She walked straight up to him and wrapped her arms around his chest. He wrapped his arms around her entire body and held her there until he could feel her start to pull away. Millie pulled away and went back over to Nathan and Tom, pulling Nathan in for a hug. This was followed by a bear hug from Max and a comforting hug from Siva. It wasn’t long before Millie was pulled back into the courtroom to listen to the questioning of Taylor until the end of the day.

The next day was just as bad. They had doctors and nurses who were seeing to Millie while she was in hospital. By the end of the third day, all the evidence was shown and the jury were to decide whether Taylor was guilty or not.

  56. The result

The jurors took a couple of days to decide on whether Taylor was guilty or not. It was a lot of waiting around and thankfully, the jurors had made their mind up before the weekend. However, before the jurors came to a decision, there was a lot of waiting around. Nathan was the one who had his arm around Millie; comforting her with his fingertips like he did when he hung out at Tom’s. Although Millie had hugged Jay, they still kept their distance from each other. Not consciously. Neither of them really realised that they were doing it.

Jay was jealous of the relationship that had developed between Nathan and Millie. It was kind of there before but they were never this touchy with one another. It looked like they were the couple. Jay saw Britt just a bit down the corridor. She was glaring at Millie and Nathan. Jay told everyone he’d be back in a minute before he headed down towards Britt. He grabbed her forearm and took her further down the corridor.

“What are you still doing here?” Jay hissed at Britt.

“I want to see how this goes,” Britt smirked. Britt then bit the inside of her cheek. “How is Millie?” She asked, looking a bit more concerned.

“Why should you care?” Jay asked.

“Look, Jay, I’m not the one to blame for us sleeping together,” Britt argued.

“You made the move on me!”

“You let me!” Britt laughed. “How are you and Millie?” Britt was just being spiteful now.

“Go home, Britt,” Jay growled, pointing to the way out.

“Have you told her about us?”

“Leave, Britt,” Jay growled again.

“I take that as a no.” Britt smirked again. “And I’m guessing you’re not together anymore.”

“We’re together, kind of.” Jay looked down to his feet. Britt laughed.

“Kind of?” She questioned.

“Neither of us have said we’ve broken up but ... why am I telling you any of this?” Jay asked himself. “I said I never want to see you again.” Jay turned on his heel and headed back down the corridor.

“I’m pregnant!” Britt called. Jay stopped dead in his tracks. He turned back to Britt and pulled her even further along the corridor.

“Are you fucking serious?” Jay asked, looking to her stomach where there was no evident baby bump. It would show up easily on her too.

“Ha-ha, your face was classic,” Britt giggled. “You’re safe, McGuiness.” She patted him on the chest before turning around and heading for the exit.

The jury had come to a decision and everybody was called back into the courtroom. Thankfully, Britt had gone home so she didn’t show up in the courtroom to hear the decision that was made. The judge was handed a piece of paper with Taylor’s verdict on it. “The jury have come up with a decision,” the judge announced once the courtroom was quiet and settled. “Taylor Hawk, you have been accused of kidnapping, assaulting and raping Millicent Jemima Parker. The jury have found you guilty. Your sentence is 15 years with a possible probation release after 10 years.” For Jay, Nathan, Tom, Max and Siva, 10 years or even 15 years wasn’t enough. They all wanted him behind bars for the rest of his life.

  57. Jay tries again

As a sort of celebration – and the fact that Millie was being fine around Jay again – Jay invited everyone back to his for dinner and a few drinks. Once the Chinese had been ordered, delivered and eaten, Millie went off to the bathroom. There was still some of her stuff in Jay’s bathroom. She quietly made her way over to the bedroom they shared. It was still the same. Just without her stuff.

This was how her life used to be.

Jay still kept the picture of the two of them in LA on the chest of drawers. Millie looked at the picture and reminded herself of the moment that picture was taken. They weren’t even together then. It was when she was actually in a relationship with Taylor. Millie and Jay looked like a couple. She then thought of what she said to Nathan. “What if we’re not actually meant to be together?” It looked like they should be but what if Millie was meant to be with Nathan?

“Hey,” a voice came from the door. Millie turned around, the picture still in her hands, to see Jay looking sheepishly at the ground. Millie placed the picture back on the side. “My favourite picture,” Jay said, indicating to the picture.

“I know,” Millie smiled and continued to look at the picture. Jay walked over to her and stood next to her. They were nearly touching but Jay was scared in case she reacted badly to him touching her again. They had shared that one hug on the first day of court but since then, there was hardly any contact between them. Tom usually took Millie straight home after each court session. Nathan was the only one who visited her. Millie turned to Jay. “When are you going to grow a vagina and hold me?” Millie asked with a gloss overlaying her eyes. Jay was a bit taken back by this; first he was surprised at this small outburst from the new Millie and then he became confused.

“Vagina?” He asked, the corners of his mouth turning up in the lop-sided manner that made him adorable.

“Yes,” Millie smiled. “Kick a guy in the balls, he falls to the ground in pain whereas a vagina can take a pounding.” Millie winked at Jay. Jay tilted his head with a slight smile on his face. This was sounding like his Millie. He moved towards her slowly and stroked the backs of his fingers down her cheek. She blinked her eyes hard at first but didn’t flinch away from him. He gently moved one of his arms around her waist and the other around her back, moving his hand up to the back of her head. Millie met Jay’s eyes before he bent his head down and kissed her.

  58. It’s never going to work

Nothing.

That’s what happened between Millie and Jay. There was no spark like there used to be. It felt – to Jay – that Millie was kissing him just to please him rather than she wanted to do it. Millie, on the other hand, felt like she wanted to mean it but couldn’t. When their lips touched, Millie flinched for a split second. She’d kissed him before, why was she acting like this now? Jay felt her flinch slightly and knew he’d tried but wouldn’t have her back.

Once they’d pulled away from the kiss, they pulled away from each other and Millie went to head out of the room. “We’re over now, aren’t we?” Jay asked, not looking in Millie’s direction. Millie stopped short of the doorway. She turned to face Jay.

“To be honest Jay,” she walked back over to him. She took his hand in hers. “I think we were over a couple of months ago.” She pushed herself up onto her toes and kissed Jay’s cheek. He turned towards her and pulled her into him, hugging her like he used to.

“I’ll never stop loving you though,” Jay mumbled into her neck before kissing her there. Millie wanted to say the same but she knew she didn’t mean it like he did.

  59. Nottingham for Christmas

Millie and Jay both made their way downstairs. Jay went off into the kitchen to make a phone call home before coming back into the living room. “Guys, I won’t be here for Christmas and New Years,” he announced as he came into the room.

“What?” and “Why?” came from the entire room.

“Erm, something came up and I think it’ll be best if I went home for a couple of weeks.” Jay glanced over to Millie who was keeping her head down. Nathan noticed this quick glance and saw a couple of tears leave Millie’s eyes and fall down her cheeks. Why she was getting upset about a relationship that pretty much ended five months ago, she didn’t know.

Everyone went back to their conversations. Millie had put her plate back on the coffee table and was staring into her cup of tea. She hadn’t felt like drinking alcohol since she’d been kidnapped. As Nathan was sitting on the floor and there was no room on the sofa beside Millie, he slid his phone out of his pocket.

Nathan: What’s up xx

Millie: Can you take me home? Xx

Nathan turned to face Millie again. He nodded and stood up from the floor. “Tom, I’m gonna head home,” Millie said, whispering to Tom.

“I’ll get you a taxi,” Tom said and pulled his phone out.

“Don’t worry, mate,” Nathan cut in. “I’ll walk her home.”

“What’s going on?” Jay asked from across the room. All the lads, Kelsey and Jade were looking at Millie, Tom and Nathan now.

“Nathan’s taking Millie home,” Tom said and put his phone back in his pocket. Millie quickly headed out of the living room and grabbed her coat from the banister pole at the bottom of the stairs. Jay followed behind her.

“Why are you going home?” Jay asked, lightly rubbing her shoulder.

“I don’t know why, but I’m finding you going home for Christmas more upsetting than I should be,” Millie confessed. She pulled her coat on and hugged Jay. Nathan came out into the hallway once he’d said night to the rest of the lads, Kelsey and Jade. “I’m just going to say night to the rest of them, and then I’ll be ready to go,” Millie said to Nathan before heading back into the living room.

“Why are you really going back to Nottingham for Christmas?” Nathan asked, pulling his coat on.

“I just think I need to get away for a bit,” Jay admitted. “Me and Millie need some time apart.”

“You’ve rarely seen each other,” Nathan chuckled.

“But I’ve always been nearby. I mean, come on, it’s been hard on me and her. I thought we could be like we used to be, but that clearly isn’t going to happen.” Nathan placed a hand on Jay’s shoulder and gave him a hug. Their friendship had been through some rough patches but they could never stay mad at each other for long. “Thanks for taking care of her,” Jay said as they pulled out of the hug.

“I hate to say that she trusts me,” Nathan shrugged. “When she should’ve been trusting you.” Jay shrugged. Millie came out of the living room, scuffing her Uggs along the floor. “Come on then, Mils,” Nathan chuckled, seeing her walk like a child. “See ya, Bird,” Nathan called as they walked out the door.

“Bye, Jay,” Millie called too.

  60. The walk home

Millie and Nathan walked home chatting about completely useless stuff. Millie had her arm around Nathan’s waist, with her hand resting in Nathan’s coat pocket while Nathan had his arm around Millie’s shoulder. They’d made it about ¾ of the way home before Nathan brought up the subject of Jay. “What happened between you and Jay then?”

“What do you mean?” Millie smiled, looking at Nathan.

“Why were you crying?” Nathan asked a bit more bluntly. Millie looked to the ground she was stepping on.

“There’s nothing between us now,” Millie started to explain. “I thought there was a possibility to feel what I did before but Jay kissed me and there was-”

“Jay kissed you?”

Millie nodded her head. “But there was nothing. It used to be that we kissed and then wouldn’t be able to keep our hands off of each other. Tonight we kissed and I couldn’t wait to pull away from him.”

“So, what does this mean?”

“Me and Jay are over,” Millie said quietly. She still didn’t know why she was feeling so upset about it. Nathan stopped walking and pulled Millie into him for a hug. They stood there, Millie in Nathan’s arms, for a few minutes. A couple of drunken girls stumbled past them in very short dresses. Nathan wondered how girls did it. It was 1oC outside and threatening to snow and they were dressed in hardly anything. Nathan kissed Millie’s forehead before they continued walking back to Tom’s. They were both frozen by the time they got back and thankfully, the heating was still on in the flat. “You want a cuppa?”

“I should really start heading home,” Nathan chuckled. Millie shrugged her coat off and then insisted Nathan took his off.

“It’s only 11,” Millie smiled and pulled Nathan to the kitchen. She flicked the kettle on and prepared two mugs for the tea.

“Fine,” Nathan chuckled and pulled the milk out of the fridge. “I’ll stay for one.”

“Good boy,” Millie grinned and rubbed Nathan’s ear.

“Ger’off,” Nathan laughed and flapped Millie’s hand away from him.

  61. Christmas

“Mils, Mils, Mils,” Tom chanted as he jumped on Millie’s bed Christmas morning. “It’s Christmas, it’s Christmas, it’s Christmas!”

“Tom, I wanna sleep!” Millie groaned as she kicked her brother in the shin. He fell off the bed and clutched his shin for the ten seconds that it hurt. “If you want me up and out of bed, make me tea.”

“Even better, I’ll get your best friend to make me tea.” Millie threw the duvet off her face.

“Harri’s here?”

“No,” Nathan laughed as he came into the room. “What twat face forgot to say was your guy best friend was here.” Millie crawled to the end of the bed and jumped into Nathan’s arms. “Hey, Mils,” he chuckled. “Merry Christmas.”

“Shouldn’t you be with your family at your flat?” Millie asked as Nathan put her back on her bed.

“It’s 11am,” Nathan laughed. “We’ve been up for a couple of hours so I thought I’d come see you lot before we head to Siva’s for Christmas dinner. You still want that tea?”

“Oh my god, yes please,” Millie grinned and stood up off her bed. She jumped on Nathan’s back and he carried her to the kitchen.

“Can you-” Tom started.

“Nope,” Nathan laughed and settled Millie down on the counter. Nathan fussed with making the tea for all four of them. He disappeared to take Kelsey and Tom’s tea to them in their bedroom before returning to drink his tea with Millie. “If you wanted a kiss, you could’ve just asked.”

“What are you ....” Millie looked up. Sure enough, there was a bit of mistletoe hanging from the top of the cupboard. Millie chuckled before looking back to Nathan. “I did not put that there and I have not moved so technically,” Millie jumped down from the counter after placing her tea on the side. “You put me there so you could get a kiss off of me.”

“Lies!” Nathan laughed. “And I’d never kiss you, whether you looked like that or if you looked like a million pounds.” He headed out the kitchen and in the direction of the living room.

“Because you know what a million pounds looks like.” Millie called after him. She laughed at Nathan’s shocked face to this. She loved to make little digs at how little money the boys actually made. “Love you, Nath.”

“Yeah, right,” he said and turned around to face Millie. His Gloucester accent coming out strong this morning. “If you loved me, you would’ve been making me tea. Anyway, go get showered and dressed. We’re supposed to be at Siva’s by half 1.”

“That’s ages away.” Millie sat down on the sofa and flicked the TV on by the remote.

“You take forever to get ready.”

“You take longer.” Millie stuck her tongue out at Nathan. He returned the favour. “Too busy slapping your thigh in the shower each morning.”

“That’s not the only time I do it,” Nathan whispered in her ear.

“Ew, I didn’t wanna know, Nayf.” Nathan laughed and kissed her cheek.

“Come on,” Nathan said half an hour later. “Go get ready.” Millie sighed before pushing herself off the sofa and making her way to the bathroom.

  62. New Year’s Eve

Millie and Kelsey were out shopping for booze and snacks for the New Year’s party Tom and Kelsey were throwing at their flat. It was only just a bunch of their friends so they didn’t think it necessary to hire out somewhere for it. Kelsey loaded up the big trolley with a few crates of beer, a couple of bottles of vodka, tequila, Malibu, archers and Sourz. She put six bottles of wine in the front of the trolley in a wine box. Next was the mixers which consisted of three cartons of orange juice, a couple of cartons of pineapple juice, four bottles of Coca Cola, three bottles of lemonade and a bottle of Fanta. Last but not least were the snacks. Kelsey just went along the crisp aisle and chucked in whatever she fancied. Millie added to the pile. Kelsey was going to order pizza from Domino’s or somewhere as she couldn’t be arsed with cleaning all the plates and stuff. The total of the shopping came to nearly £350 but Kelsey just shoved Tom’s card into the machine and that paid for it.

Tom, Nathan, Siva and Max were out in town for the day. Jay was still at home in Nottingham, although Tom was hoping he’d come back for New Year’s at least. New Year’s wouldn’t be the same without all five of them getting completely off their faces together. Last year, Kelsey, Jade and Millie were in one room of Nathan and Jay’s house while the lads were getting drunk, playing music and watching the TV in the living room. This year, there’d be a lot more people in Tom and Kelsey’s flat. To be fair, it was pretty big. Once Kelsey and Millie were back from the supermarket, Millie texted Jade to come round. She was round within half an hour. Kelsey set the dining room up to be the bar area. She put the spare bottles of spirits behind the bar that was actually in there, ready to replace the empty ones later on in the evening. Some beers were put in the fridge ready for when the boys came back from town, meanwhile the girls cracked open a bottle of red wine and put a bottle of white and a bottle of rosé in the fridge. This was the one and only time Millie was willing to have any alcohol. She wasn’t planning to have loads like she used to have, she was only planning on getting a little merry to be as happy as everybody else.

“Girls,” Millie said with a serious face on before she started her glass of wine. “I need to tell you something.” Kelsey and Jade moved closer towards her. They were still hanging out in the kitchen so that Jade and Kelsey were nearer to the wine. “Me and Jay are no longer together.”

“We know,” Jade wore a sympathetic smile. Millie pulled a confused face. “Jay kinda told us just after you left the other night.”

“When I went home before everyone else?” Millie asked, looking at both Kelsey and Jade.

“Yeah,” Kelsey said. “He said, he knew you would be telling Nathan so he felt that he should tell us lot. None of us wanted to bring it up though. We all saw how upset you were when Jay said he wasn’t going to be here for Christmas.”

“It was stupid that I was upset. I’d only ever spent one Christmas and New Year with him.”

“It’s understandable,” Jade said and wrapped her arm around Millie. “You love him.”

“Loved.”

“What?” Kelsey and Jade asked.

“I loved him.” Kelsey’s face dropped. “Oh come on Kels. Like I could ever go back to loving him the way I use to. I haven’t even thought about anything since ...” Millie trailed off. Ever since Taylor, the most that’s happened with a guy was with Jay and that was two kisses; one a peck on the lips and the other was more of a kiss but not a proper one. “To be honest, I’m a bit scared to let anything more happen with a guy.”

“That’s why you need someone you trust,” Jade said. Everything seemed to hit Kelsey straight in the face.

“Nathan,” was the only word she managed to get out. Millie’s eyes shot to Kelsey. Jade turned to face her too. “I don’t think you trust anyone as much as you trust him.”

“Kelsey, nothing would ... could ever happen with him,” Millie shook her head. “I mean, who are we kidding that Nathan would ever want to-”

“Ask him tonight then,” Kelsey and Jade said at the same time.

  63. New Year’s party

Kelsey and Jade kept leaving Millie alone with Nathan which made her become slightly awkward around him. Especially when she knew they were listening in just around the corner. The drinks kept flowing and it was about half nine by the time everybody had arrived. It was supposed to be a night where Millie was in control but as soon as Tom suggested that everybody played ‘I have never’, the night went downhill with that. ‘I have never’ started off tame but quickly escalated into everything and anything sexual. Whenever Millie drank a finger of her drink, Tom pulled a disgusted face at the thought of Millie doing any of that.

“I have never fancied one of my siblings’ friends,” Andy (one of Max’s friends from his Avenue days) said. Millie drank. She felt like she should keep drinking as there were several of Tom’s friends she’d fancied.

“I have never ... well, I do not fancy one now.” Max added. Kelsey and Jade looked to Millie who subtly took a gulp of her rosé. “Spill Millie.” Max started chanting.

“I’m not saying who,” Millie chuckled. “Let’s just leave him as anonymous.” She felt Nathan’s thumb brush over her fingers on the floor. She bit her bottom lip, trying to hide the smile she had on her face. Max shuffled on his knees until he was knelt in front of Millie.

“I knew you fancied me,” Max grinned.

“Dream on, Max,” Millie laughed and pushed his face away. “I’m bored of this. Can we put the music louder?” Tom couldn’t agree more. He jumped onto his feet, nearly lost his balance because he’d drank a lot already, regained said balance and slid over to the stereo. He turned the playlist on Kelsey’s iPod up so the bass was proper kicking in through the speakers. Millie left the living room and went to fill her wine up for the fifth time already this evening. She finished the bottle off and dropped it into the empty bottle box. Millie turned around and Nathan was standing there. “Hey, Fly,” Millie grinned.

“Hey, Mils,” Nathan chuckled, placing his beer bottle in the bottle box. Millie had gone back over to the dining room table. Nathan wrapped his arms around her waist from behind her. Millie turned around in his arms and placed her hands on his chest. “You alright?” Nathan asked, looking a little more concerned. Millie nodded and played with Nathan’s necklace. She couldn’t say what she thought, she loved what they had.

  64. What happened with Britt?

Millie’s mind for some reason flashed back to the courtroom and Britt’s testimonial. She took Nathan’s hand in hers and pulled him along to her bedroom. She shut the door after getting raised eyebrows from Kelsey and Jade. Millie shook her head at them to say that nothing was going to happen. “What happened with Britt?” Millie asked, sitting down on her bed; legs crossed with the glass of rosé in her hands on her lap.

Nathan looked around the room for a bit. “I shouldn’t be the one telling you,” Nathan said, still avoiding Millie’s eye contact.

“What happened?” Millie asked, patting the bed next to her. Nathan sat down on the bed. He fussed with the duvet and kept his eyes darting around the bedroom. “Nath, you can tell me.”

“It was just before we were told you were found,” Nathan started. He still didn’t look at Millie. “I went to get some food and stuff for your house with Jay, and I came back unloaded it all and went upstairs to see if Jay was alright and Britt was in bed with him.” Millie’s hands went limp which let her wine glass fall onto her lap and then onto her bed. Millie hadn’t registered that it happened until she could feel the wine soak through her jeans. She stood up and peeled her jeans off. She changed into some black shorts she pulled from the top of her cupboard. She quickly pulled them on and turned back to see Nathan with his jaw slightly dropped.

“Britt and Jay?” Millie asked, pulling her duvet off the bed and unbuttoning the cover. She chucked the cover into her washing corner of her room and the duvet on the floor by her wardrobe. “And when you say she was in bed with him, you mean ...?” Millie was really hoping that they innocently just fell asleep next to one another.

“I’m sorry, Mils,” Nathan said in a sympathetic tone.

Millie faced away from Nathan. He told Millie they’d never be anyone else. He said he would never even dream of being with anyone else. But as soon as he thought there was no hope in finding her, he slept with the first girl he caught eyes with. This wasn’t fair on her or on Nathan. Millie dropped onto the floor and cried. What if Millie had been alright and been her old self? What if she’d come back wanting to be with Jay and wanting them to be how they used to be? Would Jay have told her? Millie continued to question herself about why Jay would sleep with someone else, not realising that Nathan had picked her up and taken her back to the bed. She cried into his chest for a few minutes before she realised she shouldn’t be crying over something he did months ago.

“Sorry,” Millie apologised and leant away from Nathan. Nathan smiled and looked down to his top, which was a little damp. He wiped the tears away from Millie’s cheeks.

“If it’s any consolation, Britt was the one who apparently made the move on him.” Nathan chuckled as Millie huffed.

  65. Happy New Year!

“When did you turn into nice Nathan?” Millie asked. Nathan chuckled again. “You used to be a jerky, slutty guy who had Ashley to screw each night. Then I get ... and you turn into this genuinely nice, thoughtful, caring guy.”

“I turned into that guy long before that happened,” Nathan smiled and put his head onto the wall behind Millie’s bed. Millie pulled her eyebrows together. Nathan sighed. “I’ve always been that caring guy since we slept together. You were obviously in love with Jay and he was clearly in love with you too, so I stepped away. I let him have you.” Millie didn’t know what to say so her hand found Nathan’s.

“Millieeeeeeeee,” Kelsey squealed as she threw Millie’s door wide open. “It’s nearly midnight.” Kelsey then stood at the end of the bed with her jaw dropped and her eyes wide. “Come on, it’s nearly midnight. We have to watch the fireworks that are going to go off outside.”

Kelsey grabbed Millie and Nathan’s hands and dragged them out of the front door. They made their way downstairs and into the taxis that were waiting outside. It was 11:40pm and so they had 20 minutes to get to the Thames to see the fireworks signalling the start of 2014. Everybody piled into the taxis and Nathan, Millie and Kelsey’s taxi had to wait for Tom to lock up the flat and come downstairs before they could go off. Tom also had a big backpack of ciders, beers and alcopops to drink while watching the 15 minutes of firework display.

15 minutes later and they’d arrived just in time to watch the fireworks. They had a spot cornered off for them. Tom quickly handed everyone a drink before the big countdown started. Millie had a Diet Coke in her hands. She didn’t feel like drinking anymore.

“10,” the crowd cheered.

“Millie,” Nathan said and pulled her towards him.

“9!”

“I need to say something before the New Year starts.”

“8!”

“I love the relationship we have now.”

“7!”

“Don’t say it, Nath,” Millie said and shook her head.

“Don’t say what?”

“6!”

“I’m not sure if I can give you-”

“5!”

“-everything you need,” Millie’s head sunk. Nathan shook his head at her.

“4!”

“I don’t need anything else, Mils,” Nathan said, lifting her chin up to face him.

“3!”

“All I need is you to be you. I don’t care if you’re not like the ‘you’ you were before Taylor.”

“2!”

“I just need you to be yourself.”

“Nathan,” Millie whispered.

“1!”

“I don’t care if you don’t say it back, I know you’ve been through a lot lately, but Millie ... I love you.”

“Happy New Year!” The crowd cheered. Big Ben started to ring out throughout London. Millie and Nathan couldn’t hear anything though. Millie moved closer to Nathan. He smiled as he felt her step towards him. He moved one of his hands to her neck and rubbed his nose around hers.

“I never want to stop loving you,” Nathan said before kissing her.

  66. Everything I need

“I love you,” Kelsey said to Tom just after midnight.

Tom grinned at Kelsey before saying, “I love you too.” He kissed her passionately. They were both a little drunk but you couldn’t deny the love they had for each other. Once they pulled away from each other, they turned to watch the fireworks going off. Kelsey snuggled up to Tom on the blanket they had settled down on. Kelsey was paying attention to the fireworks while Tom watched her. He still couldn’t believe he had her. He didn’t even think she’d want to settle down with him. Kelsey’s eyes suddenly were caught by the scene going on just in front of them. Her eyes lit up more than seeing the fireworks going off. Tom looked over in the direction she was focussed on to see Millie and Nathan still kissing.

Nathan had a big grin on his face once they’d pulled away. They still didn’t pay any attention to anything going on around them. Millie bit her lip. She wanted to grin as much as Nathan was but there was something gnawing away at her inside. “Nathan,” she breathed. “I honestly don’t think I can be everything you need.”

“You are everything I need, Millie,” he smiled and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into him. He lightly traced his fingertips up and down her spine. She smiled against his neck and kissed the same spot she kissed a few weeks ago.

  67. Millie’s confused feels

Millie’s POV

Maybe Kelsey was right about being with someone I trusted. But there was Nathan who I trusted with everything and then there was Jay. I honestly don’t know where I am with Jay. I know there was nothing with that kiss we had the night of the trial ending because there was no trust. Did I still love him? I don’t know. Did I love Nathan? I don’t know. I mean, it was just after midnight, me and Nathan had just kissed and he told me he loves me and I feel horrible because both Nathan AND Jay have both told me they love me. Jay said he’ll never stop loving me and Nathan said he never wants to stop loving me and I’m stuck in the middle with no clue what to do.

But Jay did cheat.

Did he cheat? I mean he probably thought I was gone forever. At that point, I wanted to be gone forever. I didn’t want to be kept alive just so Taylor could use me. But would I have been with Jay still if everything with Taylor hadn’t happened? Probably. But did I really want to get married and settle down any time soon? Not really. I mean I did love Jay and yeah I could’ve seen myself settling down with him but I loved being able to just do anything whenever we wanted without having a care.

“Millie?” Kelsey asked, pulling on Millie’s arm in the direction of the new taxis to pick all of them up to take them back to Tom and Kelsey’s flat. “We’re going back now.” Millie didn’t even realise that she’d been standing there, looking into the Thames and not even realising that their party had packed up and were beginning to leave. Nathan was standing next to one of the taxis with Tom. “What’s up?” Kelsey asked.

“I don’t know what to do,” Millie said with no emotion. Kelsey took her arm and made her walk over to the taxi. In the taxi, Millie sat next to Tom. He put his arm around her so she leant into him. All she wanted was for someone to make a choice for her. Either way, she could be causing an argument within the band. Unless she took herself out.

  68. Two weeks later

Jay was back from Nottingham so the lads could get back in the studio. Millie was hanging out with Kev on the sofas in the studio while the boys were talking some stuff through with Jayne. Jay was first out of the meeting room, followed by Tom, Nathan, Siva and then Max. The atmosphere became tense and Millie could sense that something was going to happen soon. She didn’t know what, but she could feel it. The boys took turns with recording in the studio. Millie took pictures of them all recording and put them on her Tumblr. While Nathan was in the recording booth, Jay sat down next to Millie.

“Have fun over Christmas?” Jay asked Millie and put his arm around her gently.

“Yeah, got woken up by Tom on Christmas morning,” Millie chuckled. “That hasn’t happened for a few years. Did you have a nice time at home?”

“Yeah, it was quite fun,” Jay shrugged. “Anything happen at New Years?” Millie knew he knew something. She turned to face Jay. It wasn’t that she wanted to keep her and Nathan’s midnight kiss a secret, it was more that she still didn’t know whether she was going to try and spark up her and Jay’s relationship or whether to go with her gut and fall for Nathan. “Kiss anyone at midnight?”

“Yeah, she did,” Max interrupted the pair of them. “She kissed Nathan.”

Millie didn’t want to look at Jay. “I saw,” Jay said and took his arm away from Millie.

“Did you?” Millie asked.

“Twitter and Tumblr are amazing for getting pictures of stuff,” Jay mumbled. “You kiss him but when we kissed, it was awkward? Was it awkward between you and Nathan?” Millie didn’t want to be in this position. She felt like Jay was making her feel like she’d cheated on him, when she really hadn’t. “I can’t believe you’d go and kiss him when I love you and want to make everything right between us again.”

“Come on, Millie,” Max said using a soothing voice. He stood up from the sofa and took her hand to help her up.

“Jay,” Millie started as she turned around. “Why did you sleep with Britt?”

“Y-y-you know about that?” Jay stuttered. Millie nodded. “Look, I didn’t think it would go on for as long as it did, but it was only about two weeks that it went on for.”

Millie staggered back away from Jay, accidentally walking into Max. “I thought it was the one time that Nathan told me about. It was more?”

“Look, the first time, I thought we were never going to find you.”

“And your reasoning after that?” Millie spat.

“You were so scared about anyone going into your room that I thought I’d never be able to see you properly again and I was upset and she ... I shouldn’t have done it, okay?” Jay shouted.

“Jay, calm-” Max tried to say, placing himself between the two of them.

“So, you made no effort and you kept you cheating a secret from me? Here’s me thinking we had an honest relationship.” Millie let a couple of angry/upset tears fall from her eyelids.

“We did have an honest relationship,” Jay sobbed. “But as soon as Taylor ... had his way with you, that was it; you were gone. You will never be like how you used to be!”

“It’s good to know what you’re thinking,” Millie yelled. Her voice seemed to be cracking slightly. “So, you only like m- sorry love me as I was? You only loved me for the confident, horny girl I used to be?”

“No, I love you because you’re gorgeous, amazing, lovely, funny, adorable and I enjoy being around you,” Jay pleaded. Max was still standing between them. He knew that Millie was quite confident with arguing with Jay but as soon as he would go to grab her or touch her, she could recoil and go back to being the girl who flinched at any guy who touched her. Any guy who wasn’t Tom or Nathan. “I still love you, Millie. I was just hoping that if you were going to try and be with someone, you’d try and be with me.” Jay turned around to leave the common area of the studio.

“You scare me, Jay,” Millie yelled. Jay turned back to face her. “I’ve seen you angry before and you’re so much like him when you’re angry that it scares me. The way you’re eyes go and the same facial expressions you pull. You make the same noises when you’re frustrated and it scares the absolute shit out of me. And the fact you slept with Britt. She was supposed to be our friend, Nathan’s girlfriend, and you still slept with her. If you loved me, you would never do that. You would never have set eyes on anyone else until I was found.” Millie wiped her tears away from her face. “I could understand if it was a few months down the line and there were no clues as to where I was, but the fact they knew I was with Taylor and it had been less than a week ... I can’t believe I ever fell in love with someone like that.” Millie ran out of the studio, down two flights of stairs until she was curled up in a ball against the wall, crying until she felt sick.

“Seev, go after her,” Max said. Siva had stood at the side of the room, stunned that Millie had got like that when she’d been timid for the past six months. He rushed out of the room just as Nathan came out of the recording booth. Completely oblivious to the scene that had just happened.

  69. The worst feeling

“What’s going on?” Nathan asked, joining Max and Jay in the common area.

“I can’t believe you, Nath,” Jay spat. “I thought you were my best mate. Then you go and kiss her behind my back?”

“Look,” Nathan started. “What have you said to her?”

“How could you Nath?” Jay asked. “How could you go behind my back and kiss her? You know exactly how much she means to me.”

“Yeah, and you and everyone else have no clue how much she means to me.” Nathan let out in frustration.

“What?” Jay and Max asked at the same time.

“She’s the only person who knows how I honestly feel about her,” Nathan yelled. “God, Jay, all she went on about in hospital was how she wanted to see you but she was scared of when you get angry. Do you know how many times I wanted to tell her about you and Britt? It killed me to think that she still thought you were waiting for her to recover when actually you’d gone behind both of our backs and slept with Britt. And it wasn’t as if it was a one time thing; you kept going back.”

“You had no right to tell her about me and Britt though,” Jay snarled. “I was supposed to.”

“And would you tell her?”

“Of course, I would.”

“It broke her fucking heart, Jay.” Nathan yelled at Jay. “It broke her. She burst into tears and fell to the floor. I had to hold her in my arms for about half an hour before she even showed signs of calming down. Do you know how heartbreaking it is to see a girl’s heart break in front of your eyes? It’s horrible.” Jay looked away from Nathan and crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s the worst thing to see happen to a girl you care about, let alone a girl you love.”

“You love her?” Max asked. Nathan looked to the ground.

“Yeah, and I made the stupid mistake of telling her on New Year’s Eve just before midnight,” Nathan mumbled.

“Did she say it back?” Jay asked, looking up to meet Nathan’s eyes for a second.

“No,” Nathan quickly said. “She doesn’t tell anyone what she thinks about them. We haven’t even hung out together much since New Year’s Eve.”

At this point, Millie came back into the studio with Siva’s arm wrapped around her. Millie looked up from the floor to see Nathan and Jay facing each other. Nathan looked behind him at Millie and saw how broken she looked. This wasn’t fair on her. She deserved to be happy.

“This is what I mean,” Nathan growled turning to face Jay. “Just look at Millie and tell me she’s fine. Tell me she looks completely fine and how she used to be. Tell me she looks happy.”

Jay couldn’t. Millie didn’t look fine. She didn’t look how she used to. She didn’t look happy. Jay made his way over to Millie. Nathan was right; seeing a girl’s heart broken was the worst feeling in the world. Jay stood in front of Millie and Siva stepped away from the pair of them. Millie looked up to Jay. He had regret and guilt written across his face, his eyes. Millie just had hurt.

“I am so sorry,” Jay said as he stepped towards her. He put both of his hands on either side of her face and stroked his thumbs across her cheeks.

“You still slept with her,” Millie whispered. The room was completely silent except for the two of them. “You slept with her after everything you said to me.”

“All I wanted was my best friend there. But she was gone. You were gone. I hated that Taylor had taken my girlfriend, my fiancée, my best friend, my soul mate and I couldn’t turn to anyone. Even when I’m gone a day, I miss you so much. I need you to survive.”

“Don’t say that bullshit, Jay,” Millie said a little louder, pulling Jay’s hands off of her face. “If you needed me to survive you wouldn’t have gone off with Britt. You wouldn’t have sat outside my hospital room for the three months I was in there. You would’ve done what Nathan did which was come into my room and held me. You would’ve made sure I was alright. Convinced me that you could make me safe.”

Jay stayed silent. He played with his hands in front of him. He knew he hadn’t tried hard enough. He knew he sat on the sidelines and watched Nathan place himself beside Millie. Jay grabbed his phone and headphones from the table at the side of the room and left the studio. Siva rushed out to the stairs after him. “You can’t leave yet, Jay,” he said. “You’ve got your recording to do.”

“I’ll come back and do it when everyone’s not here, okay?” Jay asked and continued down the stairs, taking two steps at a time and ran out of the door at the bottom, five flights down.

  70. One step forward, one step back

“Millie,” Nathan asked, walking over to her and went to wrap her arms around her. “Where did that come from?”

“Don’t, Nathan,” Millie said as she took a step away from him.

“Mils,” Nathan said, his voice a little weaker.

“I’m so confused,” Millie cried. Nathan took another step toward her but she took another step back. “What do I do?” It hurt Nathan that she was stepping away from him and not letting him touch her. Millie turned to face Max. “Max? What do I do?” Max looked at Millie, then to Nathan and then back to Millie.

“Millie, just give Nathan a cuddle,” Max said. He could tell that Nathan wanted to comfort her. Millie looked at Nathan. Tom walked into the room. He looked around at everyone in confusion and then he noticed Millie.

“I need my best friend,” she let out in one breath before she fell onto the sofa in tears. Nathan wrapped his arms around her and rocked her back and forth in an attempt to comfort her. Tom sat down the other side of her and rubbed her back. He knew what he had to do.

After a few minutes, Millie calmed down. Max and Tom went off to make tea while Nathan still had his arms around Millie. Nathan pulled Millie back further on the sofa and rested her legs over his lap. He rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head. Siva didn’t know what to do so handed the tissues from the table to Nathan. He then went into the recording booth to record his parts. Nathan took a tissue out of the box and handed it to Millie.

“Thank you,” she mumbled as she wiped her eyes and then blew her nose. She stood up from the sofa and chucked the tissue in the bin. She sat herself back down next to Nathan and went back to the position she was before. She rested her head on Nathan’s shoulder this time. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Why are you sorry?” Nathan asked, turning and resting his head on the top of the sofa. Millie rested her head on top of the sofa too, facing him.

“For everything,” Millie sighed. Nathan gave her a confused look, still not understanding why she was sorry. “Moving in with you and Jay, sleeping with you and then ending up with Jay, crying all the time, not saying ‘I love you’ back, messing with your head, being too clingy and dependent on you, and most of all, for messing up Jaythan.”

“Jaythan was never real,” Nathan chuckled but quickly went back to looking concerned.

“Jaythan the friendship not Jaythan the romance,” Millie giggled. She wiped her eyes and then played with Nathan’s bracelets. “I love you, but at the moment it’s more in a friendship way. I still love Jay, but I’m not sure if that’s meant to be.”

Nathan said nothing. Of course, he was happy that Millie said that she loved him. And yeah, okay, she meant it more about the friendship they had rather than ending up with him, but there was a possibility. Nathan just leant forward and kissed her cheek. “I just think I need a bit of a break for a while,” she mumbled. Nathan nodded in understanding as Tom and Max came back in with the tea.

  71. Harri’s back

There was a loud bang on Tom’s front door just after midnight. Kelsey got up from the sofa to answer it. As soon as she saw it was Harri looking worried, she swung the door open and directed her to Millie’s room. Millie was asleep so Harri stripped off her clothes, found some pyjamas in Millie’s draw and slipped into bed next to her.

The next morning, Harri woke up before Millie. She climbed out of bed and went into the kitchen to help herself to tea. She made Millie a cup too before heading back to Millie’s bedroom. “Mils,” she whispered, gently shaking Millie awake. “Millie, I made you tea.” Millie’s eyes fluttered open and she saw Harri standing over her. Thankfully, Harri had put the teas down on the side as when Millie saw Harri, she pulled her straight in for a hug. They laid on the bed – Harri on top of Millie – for a few minutes. Millie was just happy to see her best friend.

“What are you doing here?” Millie asked Harri as they sat on Millie’s bed eating biscuits and drinking their tea.

“Tom called me,” Harri admitted. “He explained everything that happened. Now, is the anything, or anyone, you want to talk about?” Millie took a couple of sips of her tea. Since the day in the recording studio, Millie hadn’t heard from Jay at all. Harri just sat on Millie’s bed and waited for Millie to tell her anything. She didn’t continue to ask her, she just stayed silent. It was a few minutes before Millie said anything.

“I love both of them, Harri,” she admitted. “And I don’t know who to choose if I have to choose between them.” Harri wrapped her arms around Millie. She didn’t know what to say and that was the best thing she could think of.

  72. Harllie night in

Harri had booked a hotel room for the night. Millie needed some time away from Tom and the rest of the lads so this was the only way she could see getting her away from them. “So, tell me exactly what’s going through your head,” Harri said, cracking open a bottle of wine. “Tell me what you honestly think of Jay and Nathan.”

“Jay’s the sweet, adorable, sexy guy I fell in love with when I moved down to London and he’s so fun to hang out with and we could spend the whole day either chatting about everything or just spend the whole day in silence, just happy we are in each other’s company. But Nathan,” Millie smiled and sighed as she thought of Nathan. “He’s helped me through everything the past seven months and I feel safe with him and I know he won’t hurt me. He loves me for the old me and the new me. Jay says he loves me but he doesn’t really know the new me. I’m taking a break from guys at the moment, or taking a break from having a relationship with guys. But if it comes back and I have to choose between one of the two, I have no idea who I’d choose. I have a feeling I won’t have to choose because I’ve completely fucked them both about. They deserve to be with someone else, someone better.”

“Don’t say that about yourself, Mils,” Harri whispered. “They both love you and want to be with you no matter what. Have you told them both that you need a bit of time to yourself?”

“I told Nathan, but I haven’t spoken to Jay in like a month,” Millie’s head sunk. She sipped on her tea again. “I want the past nine months to be erased. I want it gone. I want to go back. I want to go back to the moment I saw Jay outside his hotel in LA. Before he proposed, before anything about a wedding was mentioned, before the whole thing with Taylor happened, before I fell for Nathan, before Jay slept with Britt, back when I was happy. Back when Jay and I couldn’t keep our hands off each other. I just want to go back to normal.”

“Well, then you need to tell Jay this. You need to tell Nathan to piss off and tell Jay you don’t want to be tied down yet but you want him. No, you need him. Tell him everything you told me.”

“I kissed Nathan,” Millie blurted out.

“What?” Harri asked. This was the news she hadn’t been told by Tom. “Y-you kissed Nathan?”

“Midnight on New Years,” Millie blushed. She slowly looked up at Harri. “It was just like a cheesy romcom but not too cheesy and more perfect.” Millie smiled, remembering the kiss.

“Right, I’m going to say something that I usually don’t tell people.” Harri sat down on the king size bed they were sharing for the night. “I’m going to tell you what I actually think.” Harri took a gulp of her wine before placing it on the floor beside the bed. “I have never seen you happier than when you’re with Jay. No boy at home could make you happy like you are when you’ve been with him. And he satisfies you, and like you said, he loves you.” Millie bit the inside of her cheek. “I will forever ship Jayllie,” she winked at Millie. Millie blushed and threw herself back on the bed, giggling. She hadn’t giggled like this in a while.

  73. Night out

“Here’s to Harri being here,” Max grinned as he lifted his shot glass. Millie, Nathan, Tom, Kelsey, Harri, Max, Jade and Siva all clinked their shot glasses together and then necked the shot. Max bought Millie and Harri their next drinks. They both decided on a jagerbomb. They drank that quite quickly before Harri dragged Millie onto the dance floor. The Black Eyed Peas track I Gotta Feeling came on. The rest of the group came over and joined in with Harri and Millie. Tonight was just about enjoying themselves and not thinking about anyone else. Millie hadn’t had a night like this in a long time. She was getting over her fear now. She had a lot of friends around her who are willing to protect her and so she could get drunk and let loose. Tune after tune was being blasted out by the DJ and Millie and Harri were drinking shot after shot. Millie was nearly on the floor after a couple of hours so Nathan took her off to one of the booths at the side of the club and got her a bottle of water.

“It’s nice to see you enjoying yourself,” Nathan smiled and handed her the water. Millie took it out of his hands and unscrewed the lid, looking like a child. She slowly raised it to her lips and took a couple of sips.

“It’s nice to feel like I’m enjoying myself for me rather than to make other people happy,” Millie slurred. She leant her head back against the booth and closed her eyes. “I’m also happy that I’ve got both my best friends here.” Nathan chuckled and watched her smile to herself. She opened her eyes and sat up properly again, taking a gulp of her water. She turned her head to face Nathan.

“Wow, you really are smashed,” Nathan laughed. Millie couldn’t quite focus on Nathan, but she managed to hit him in the arm playfully. “Do you want to go home?”

Millie shook her head and giggled. “That feels funny,” she continued to giggled. “I want to dance.” She stood up but fell straight back down into the booth. “I think I need to sit down for a bit longer.” Nathan laughed. He put his arm around her shoulder and kissed her head. Harri walked over to them and sat herself down next to Millie. “It’s both of my best friends.” Millie giggled. She put her arms around both of them and kissed them on the cheek. “I love you both, you know that right?” She kept all three of their heads pressed together.

“Mil-Mil is drunk drunk,” Harri giggled and then pushed Millie’s head away from hers. “Watch out, she might jump on ya soon, Nathan.” Nathan chuckled and blushed.

“Yeah, Nath, maybe we could finish what we didn’t finish all that time ago,” Millie purred to Nathan. “What; it’s nearly two years ago now?” Nathan smiled. He knew Millie was leading him on though. She wasn’t ready to sleep with anyone, was she? Millie winked at him and moved her head towards him. He bent his head towards her and pushed his lips against hers. It was a gentle kiss to begin with – Nathan didn’t want to be too forward – but it soon turned into a hungry, passionate kiss. Harri was chanting and cheering them on from beside Millie.

  74. Millie’s back

Millie and Nathan were soon in a taxi back to Nathan’s flat. They couldn’t keep their hands off one another in the club so they decided to call it a night. Nathan let them into his flat where he pulled Millie into him and kissed her again. He kicked the door shut and proceeded to take her cardigan off from her shoulders. That landed on the floor, halfway up the hallway. They both headed to Nathan’s room where Millie took Nathan’s top off and unbuckled his belt. She slid her hands down his trousers and into his boxers where she started to rub his cock. Nathan groaned as he felt her hand on his member. Millie smirked before Nathan began kissing her even rougher than previously. Millie pulled away and dropped to her knees. She unzipped his belt and pulled his trousers down along with his boxers. She smiled and looked up to him before taking the tip into her mouth. Nathan moaned as he felt her lips on him, her tongue licking the tip of his cock, her mouth taking in more of him. He ran her hands through her hair and pushed her head down further. She sucked him and he knew he was about to cum so she pulled her head away slightly so only his head was still in and she pumped his dick hard with her hand. He grabbed the back of her head and let out a loud groan as he filled her mouth. She took a couple of swallows to clean up all of him. She kissed the top of his head before standing back up. He kissed her passionately again and then pushed her onto the bed. He pulled her dress off and started off by kissing her neck. Nathan’s hands made their way down to her underwear where he pulled them down her legs and pinged them across the room. Millie watched as they landed on the corner of the wardrobe. Nathan kissed his way down her body as he pushed two fingers into her. He came to a pause at the top of her crotch and looked up her body to watch her face as he continued to finger her. He rubbed his thumb against her clit causing her to moan, loudly. He pushed another finger into her and moved them quicker and deeper, turning them as he did. “Fuck, Nath,” she said and grabbed onto the bed sheets. Her hips moved in the rhythm of his fingers and she came hard. Nathan found he was hard again and he started to rub the hand he was using on Millie, up and down his shaft. He stopped rubbing and took Millie’s bra off, taking her nipples in his mouth. She groaned as he bit down hard on her nipples. He rubbed the tip of his head against her clit, making her quiver and beg for him to be inside of her.

“How much do you want it?” Nathan asked as he made his way up to her mouth. He moved the tip of his cock down to the opening of her pussy and pushed against it lightly. Millie groaned in frustration.

“I want it so bad,” she whimpered. She made eye contact with Nathan as he pushed himself into her. She gasped as he did and raised her hips towards him. He started to thrust slow and shallow to begin with. The more Millie moaned, the more turned on he was by her. He then thrusted deeper into her, making her whimper and then moan a bit louder. He bent her leg so her foot was by his shoulder, pounding into her deeper and harder. Their hips moved in sync with each other.

“I love how tight you are, Mils,” Nathan groaned as he quickened his pace. Millie smiled and pulled him down to her to kiss him. Their tongues swirled around each other as Nathan continued to thrust hard and fast into her. He moved his hand to her clit and started to rub it hard and fast.

“Nathan,” Millie moaned. “Nath, I’m gonna cum.” Nathan smirked against her neck.

“Cum for me, Mils,” he said in his husky voice. He pounded even harder into her. The wave of pleasure took over her whole body, making her toes curl up. She cried Nathan’s name which was when he let himself cum into her. Nathan rested his forehead against Millie’s neck and panted. Millie panted too. Nathan laid down beside her on the bed. Millie rolled on to her front and perched herself on her elbows. She giggled at Nathan as he laid there with a smile on his face. “What?” He chuckled.

“You look so happy,” Millie grinned. She moved closer to Nathan and gave him a long kiss.

“You’re the one making me happy, Millie,” Nathan blushed.

Millie pretended to gag. “Oh, God, that backfired,” she said, holding her hand over her mouth and climbing off the bed. She ran to the bathroom and threw up down the toilet.

  75.  Naked giggles

Nathan rushed after Millie. He’d pulled his boxers on before he ran after her. He bent down beside her and rubbed her back. “I think I went a bit overboard with the drink tonight,” she coughed into the bowl. Nathan chuckled and briefly left to get her some water. He came back and handed Millie the water. “I’m sorry,” Millie giggled.

“Have you stopped being sick now?” Nathan chuckled. Millie stuck her fingers down her throat to test if there was anything to come up. She gagged and spat up some bile but nothing else was in her stomach. She gurgled some water and spat it into the toilet bowl. She flushed the chain and washed her hands. She started to giggle again. “Why are you giggling now?” Nathan asked and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind her.

“I’m naked,” she giggled. Nathan chuckled and kissed her neck. “Keep doing that again,” she murmured. “It feels so good.” Nathan smirked and did as he was told. His hands reached between her legs and rubbed her. She moaned as he did. She could feel him grow in his boxers. The lump forming was rubbing against her arsecheeks. Nathan rubbed a bit harder causing her to moan even more. He bit into her neck and started to suck. “Fuck me, Nath,” Millie moaned. Nathan pulled his boxers down. He pushed himself into her for the second time tonight. With every thrust, she was pushed against the sink. Nathan bent her over the sink a bit more so he could thrust deeper into her. It wasn’t long before she was in tears and screaming with pleasure. Nathan let her ride out her orgasm before starting to thrust into her again. She rubbed her clit as he thrusted, moaning at the pleasure of both. “Harder, Nath, harder,” she moaned. Nathan put his hand on hers and helped her rub herself. “Shit, Nath, fuuuck,” she said as he came inside of her. He kept thrusting as he came and she came again, leaving her breathless against the sink. They both caught their breath again.

“You need to get some sleep,” Nathan chuckled, pulling her up from the sink and kissing her passionately. Millie nodded and bit his lip, sucking on it gently. Nathan grinned and picked her up bridal style as he continued to kiss her. He laid her down in bed and slid in next to her. She fell asleep in minutes while Nathan watched her sleep. He couldn’t even put into words how happy he was, even if she might wake up and not remember everything from tonight.

  76. Drunk and stupid

Millie woke up before Nathan. She had a splitting headache and she knew she had drank too much the night before. She pulled the duvet off of her and sat up with her legs over the side of the bed. She looked around the room and her heart jolted. She then remembered that she came back with Nathan the night before. This made her look down and realise she was naked.

Millie’s POV

What have I done? Oh no, this couldn’t be happening. I looked behind me and Nathan was still asleep. No, he’s going to be torn up. Oh, God. Fuck. I placed my head in my hands and my elbows on my legs. I couldn’t believe I came home with him and slept with him. I am the worst, bitchiest, mind-fucking, waste of a person in the world. I shouldn’t have got drunk last night. I should’ve stopped after the first round of drinks. I should’ve been how I usually am.

Millie got out of bed and pulled the duvet back over the bed, being careful not to pull on it. She gathered up her bra and dress from the floor, not being able to find her underwear. She went into the hallway and got dressed. She’d just have to get home with no underwear on. She picked her cardigan off the floor and left the flat. She shoved her hair up into a ponytail and wiped away any makeup that was out of place while she took the lift down. She made her way back to Tom and Kelsey’s flat. Her heels were hurting her feet but she didn’t want to take them off. She felt she deserved the pain she was getting from her heels. She didn’t deserve to get away with this without feeling any pain. She arrived back at the flat and Kelsey walked out of the living room, heading for the kitchen.

“Someone looked like they had a good time last night,” Kelsey teased. Millie kept her mouth shut. “Did Nathan look after you once you got back to his?” Millie nodded her head and tried to muster a smile. Kelsey pulled Millie in for a hug. “What happened?”

“I slept with Nathan,” I admitted. “It was stupid and I had drank way too much and I shouldn’t have done it. I’m such a bitch. This is why I deserve to be alone forever.” Millie headed into the kitchen and flicked the kettle on. A cup of tea would relax her.

*

Nathan woke up about half an hour after Millie had left. He rubbed his eyes and looked around the bedroom. He spotted her underwear on the wardrobe still but her bra and dress were gone. He climbed out of bed and checked the bathroom. No Millie. He looked around the rest of the flat. Still no Millie. He sat on the edge of his bed and held his head in his hands. He only thought that she must’ve freaked out and left. He headed for his kitchen but before he reached it, he found her bag on the floor in the hallway. She must’ve forgotten it. He picked up his phone and called Tom’s number.

“Hiya,” Tom grunted down the phone.

“Your sister left her phone here this morning,” Nathan said. “Can you tell her when she gets back?”

“I think she just walked through the door,” Tom said. Tom rolled out of bed and headed for the hallway. He followed the sound of Kelsey’s voice into the kitchen. “Mils,” Tom asked when he saw Millie looking rough as and not looking happy. “What’s up?”

“I made a stupid mistake last night,” Millie mumbled.

“Well, Nath’s got your bag at his,” Tom said and offered his phone to Millie. Millie shook her head and pushed the phone away. “You always want to talk to Nath though.” Tom placed the phone back by his ear. “What happened between the two of you last night for her not want to talk to you?”

“I’ll come round in a bit and drop it off,” Nathan said. “Don’t tell Millie I’m coming round. I have a feeling she’d leave your flat before I get round there.”

“Alright mate,” Tom said and hung up. Tom made his way back into the kitchen. “What happened between you two?”

“I stupidly slept with him, again,” Millie said, irritably. “I shouldn’t have done it but I did. Now I don’t want to see him because I embarrassed myself with drunk sex.”

“You were drunk last time you two ...” Tom trailed off.

“But he didn’t see any embarrassing faces. He didn’t see me throw up in his toilet.” Millie brushed past Tom and headed off to the bathroom.

  77. WordTwist

Nathan knocked on the door to Tom’s flat. Millie answered the door and froze when she saw Nathan. She was tempted to shut the door, run to her room and jump down onto the fire escape but she couldn’t move. Nathan smiled at her weakly and then pushed past her into the flat before she could shut the door. “Here’s your bag,” Nathan said and handed Millie her bag. “Why did you leave this morning?” Millie took her bag off of Nathan and pulled him to her bedroom. She shut the door and asked him to sit down.

“I freaked out,” Millie said and sat down next to Nathan. “We shouldn’t have done it. It’s not fair on you.” Nathan leant his head towards Millie and kissed her. “I still love Jay,” Millie whispered as Nathan pulled away from the kiss. Nathan pulled completely away and stood up.

“So, basically, you were looking for someone to sleep with so you knew you were safe sleeping with another guy and then you were going to go back to Jay?” Nathan asked, sounding hurt.

“No, Nathan, that’s not what I was doing. I had a bit too much to drink and as soon as we started kissing, all I wanted to do was be with you.”

“So, you only want to be with me when you’re drunk?”

“No, Nathan, stop twisting everything I say.” A smirk was developing on Nathan’s lips. Millie stood up from the bed and stood opposite Nathan. “I just know that if we were both sober, we wouldn’t have done it.”

“So, you’re saying that if we were like we were now,” Nathan moved closer to Millie. “And in that situation.” He moved closer. “We wouldn’t have slept together?” Nathan was nearly touching Millie. Millie gulped and looked into his eyes. Nathan ran his hand up and down her arm before pulling her towards him. “So, you’re saying that you’re not the slightest bit turned on by me right now.” Nathan brushed his lips against Millie’s.

  78. Want to move in together?

Millie pushed Nathan onto the bed, taking his jacket off as she did. She undid her onesie and let it fall to the floor. She stepped out of it and straddled Nathan’s lap. He grinned, looking up at her and undid her bra. Millie took Nathan’s top off and then started to kiss him. He undid his jeans and pulled them down with his boxers. He slid Millie’s underwear over to one side, not wanting to waste a second more, and pushed her down onto his fully erect cock.

Millie had forgotten how good sex could be. She’d spent the past seven months thinking about how painful it would be. Millie rode Nathan, kissing him passionately and looking in his eyes with more love than lust. She loved him. He’s shown his love for her by never giving up on her; never believing that she couldn’t return to her true self. Harri was wrong. Millie was meant for Nathan. Mithan was supposed to be happening.

“Nathan,” Millie groaned as she pushed herself down on him again. “I love you.” Nathan was a bit wary of whether she actually meant it or not. “I love you, Nath. I love being in your company. I love how you laugh. I love your smile. I love how you make me feel comfortable. I love how you make me feel like nothing can hurt me. I love the touch of your fingers on my skin. I love how happy you make me. I love how you were determined for me not to be scared of you. I love how you waited, how your love never died for me. Or how you say you’re love never died for me.” Nathan groaned against her skin. He took control of Millie’s hips and moved her so that they could both be satisfied quicker. He didn’t particularly want to be talking about this while they were having sex; he wanted her ... sober in a way. Not drunk off the feeling of ecstasy running through her- their bodies. Millie came sooner than Nathan – screaming out his name. He flipped them over so he was on top, pulled her underwear off and pushed himself into her, starting to thrust into her. She used one hand to grab on to the bed sheets and the other to grab on to Nathan’s arse to pull him in deeper. Millie’s head was thrown back as she enjoyed Nathan thrusting into her.

“Nathan?” came a voice at the door. “Millie?” Nathan quickly pulled himself out of Millie and grabbed the duvet to wrap around himself. Millie opened her eyes and looked over to the door.

“Jay?” Millie asked. Jay was standing at the door looking hurt and confused. Millie grabbed a pillow and covered herself with it. Jay gave her a disgusted look and left. “Jay!” Millie called but she heard the front door slam shut. To see the way he looked at Millie made her feel guilty. She threw the pillow on the floor and pulled her underwear, bra and her onesie back on.

“Where are you going?” Nathan asked, still with the duvet wrapped around him.

“I need to go after him, Nath,” Millie said and grabbed her phone from the side. She tucked it into her bra.

“But you just said you love me.”

“I do, Nathan,” Millie went back over to Nathan and knelt beside him on the bed. “I do love you.” She looked at his lips. They way they weren’t smiling as she said the words she meant. “But I still love Jay too.”

“Millie,” Nathan said, not looking at Millie. “You need to choose. Me or Jay.” Nathan looked into Millie’s eyes. “Stay here with me, or go off to find Jay.”

“I can’t choose right now,” Millie pleaded. “You can’t expect me to choose without thinking about it.”

“If you love me so much, you wouldn’t have to think about it,” Nathan said as he threw the duvet off of him. He pulled his boxers and jeans on and pulled his top over his head. He picked his jacket up and slipped his trainers on before leaving the flat, slamming the front door shut.