#tw processing death

The trek in the robot suit was eerily quiet. No words spoken. Not even in Robin's subconcious. The Clunk, Clunk, Clunk of the PRAWN's mechanical footsteps echoed quietly, muffled by the heavy snow buildup. The duo reached the station dock where Robin suddenly stopped the machine. Her dark-brown eyes stared blankly ahead into the horizon line ahead.

["Robin?"] Al-An asked. ["Is everything alright?"]

Neither one said anything. Neither moved. The bulbous, bell-shaped membrane of an Eye Jelly drifted just within sight of the water's surface before decending into the blue depths.

Snow sprayed everywhere as Robin abruptly turned the PRAWN around and began a reverse trek. Al-An quickly realized where she was going: straight back to the Robotics Center.

"Gotta go grab it-" he heard her thoughts repeating. "I gotta go grab it. Gotta bring it back-"

Grab what, though? Bring back what?

"This must have been Sam's room," Robin had said earlier. "But... something's not right?"

She didn't even give the robot time to fully drop to a crouch before she hopped out, sprinting to the half-open metal doors. Climbing back up the hole in the side of the cave base, she made her way back to the sleeping spaces, where she found Sam's bed. Robin haphazardly threw some pieces of Titanium she'd collected earlier onto the floor, and in one quick motion, scooped up the heavy quilt and pillows from her sister's former sleeping spot and tucked them safely away in her pack.

Al-An wasn't sure how she got back so quickly, but he suddenly found himself, and his host, back at the home base, standing over her own designated sleeping spot.

Robin pulled the comforter out and fluffed it over her bed, the thick fabric gently falling into place. An earthy and slightly sweet smell wafted around the room, soft and familiar. She paused. Sam's perfume... They let her bring some with her? Robin thought to herself. Time seemed to freeze for a moment as a wave of memories flooded over. Al-An was almost overwhelmed, but kept it to himself. His host was very upset, and yet somehow (albeit barely) keeping her composure. He waited for her.

Robin quickly threw the pillows she took from Sam's room on the bed and sat down. Her body started to shake, lips trembling and eyes watering, threatening to lose control and spill over. She cautiously, tentatively laid down on the blanket. The smell of her sister's perfume enveloped her in a bitter cold embrace. Sam's voice rang in her head:

"Alright, I gotta go. Later, baby sis! Love you."

"You're my sister. I love you. I'm sorry."

"Anyway. Message me back. Please? I could really use a friend. You're my sister. I love you."

Robin sobbed. Completely and utterly, brokenly sobbed.

Up until that point, she hadn't properly cried about Sam. A few shocked tears when she first read the templated condolence letter from Emmanuel. A few angry ones for the more personal one from Lillian.

She hated everyone involved; Alterra for putting Sam in that position. Zeta for not taking Sam's concerns more seriously and escalating them. Danielle for not contacting her at all- if she was as close to Sam as their PDA conversations insinuated, then why-

Robin suddenly gasped in a gulp of air and hiccuped. Her eyes were red and puffy and ached. A big wet spot was now on the comforter where her face had just been, a valiant attempt to dry her tears. Her chest heaved, trying to replenish her oxygen. But a new wave of grief hit and she began to weep again.

["The death of your sister is... much more difficult for you to process than I realized,"] Al-An said.

"What am I going to do, Al-An?" Robin whimpered into a pillow. "My sister is dead, she's gone, I can't bring her back-"

["I know. At least that's what you've explained to me before. My people don't have a death process like yours do. This is... unfamiliar to me. I apologize."]

She couldn't fault him for not totally understanding. Not only was there a communication and language barrier, but a cultural one as well. She wanted to be angry at that moment, but couldn't bring herself to be.

"I just miss her so much..."

["I am sensing you have some regrets as well. Did you two not have a strong bond in the end?"] Al-An inquired.

"No, not that, it's..." Robin sighed. "I just wish I could have done more. I should have come here earlier, I should have been there for her..."

["Would it have saved your sister?"]

He didn't mean it cruelly. It was a simple, straightforward question from a place of genuine curiosity. But it still cut Robin deep to her core, and she began to cry again.

That was enough of an answer for Al-An.

["Your databank says Humans usually go through a mourning process called "grief". And that it is normal to feel the way you do."]

Robin pushed herself up onto an elbow and rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling of her base. She didn't answer him; she was too worn out.

["Your emotions are not fitting one specific pattern. This seems normal as well. I know I cannot do much to assist you in this... trying time,"] he used a phrase he read in the databank. ["But I will do my best to assist however I can. After all, you are doing so much to assist me. It is the least I can do."]

"...thank you, Al-An," Robin groaned into her arm as she covered her eyes.

["Perhaps if you got some extra rest. Your body is exhausted. And you are grieving."]

Robin could only nod at Al-An's words. He was right, she knew he was. She slowly stood up, letting her spinning head settle, then trudged her way down the short hall to the refrigerator in the mini-cafeteria she built. The exhausted woman procured a cold bottle of filtered water and took a big swig from it.

She put the rest of the bottle on the bed's headboard and collapsed back down. As she slowly sank into Sam's old blankets, Robin got a renewed sense of driving force in her mission; she'd find out what happened to her sister. Sam would be avenged, and Alterra would pay dearly.

But first, she'd give herself some time to work through the grief a bit.

~~~~~