#tw enteritis

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The sound of the door slamming shut plays though Yoongi's mind on repeat. 

Yoongi scrolls again through his chat with Hoseok, re-reading the dozens of apology messages that are still marked unread. The older rapper has been trying to get in touch with his dongsaeng for three days now. He figured Hoseok needed some time to get over it, but this is startling to feel ridiculous. Yoongi sends a new, longer, concern-filled text message every few hours. But his boyfriend hasn't opened a single one. 

Once his concern boils over, he decides to reach out to Jimin. The younger dancer is arguably the only other member as close to Hoseok as he is. If Yoongi has earned the title of boyfriend, then Jimin has earned the title of best friend. The two are inseparable in their own way. And Yoongi doesn't mind sharing Hoseok's attention. But he wishes right now that he would receive some of it.

Although maybe he doesn't currently deserve it. It's been three days since Yoongi and Hoseok had an ugly disagreement. It started with playful banter, as most of their arguments do. Hoseok had tried to convince Yoongi to fly to Chicago with him for his first ever solo performance. But Yoongi adamantly put his foot down, making the steadfast decision that he did not want to travel. It wasn’t an attempt to shun Hoseok. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to be supportive. He simply didn’t want to go through the hassle of leaving the county. No matter how much Hoseok pleaded that he needed his boyfriend with him for comfort and support, Yoongi didn't budge on the matter. After Hoseok all but groveled for over forty minutes, Yoongi's blood boiled from the repetitive line of questioning. He said no and Hoseok wasn’t listening. In the heat of the moment, he went off on his boyfriend. He'd gone as far to challenge Hoseok's professionalism and allude that his solo debut would fail because he's too dependent on others. 

No words were exchanged after that. The next thing Yoongi remembers hearing is the loud slamming of the front door. The image of Hoseok’s back as he ran out is burned in his mind. 

He assumes the rapper has been staying with Jimin. So he finally decides to make the phone call. Jimin answers almost immediately, "Hyung, I was actually just about to call you." He replies with the most forced chuckle Yoongi's ever heard. 

He picks up on the tension in the dancer's voice, postponing his question in favor of investigating Jimin's distress. He hopes it will somehow lead him to Hoseok. "Did you need something, Jiminie?"

"I was just wondering if you know what’s going on with Hoseok-hyung," Jimin admits, "he hasn't answered me in a while." 

"You and I both. I actually called you to see if you knew how he's doing. He hasn't been home in a few days." Yoongi admits, running an exasperated hand through his hair. The dancer must be really angry if he's shutting Jimin out too. Jimin hadn’t even done anything. 

"He hasn't even come home?" Jimin's voice raises an octave in concern. "You don't think something bad happened to him, do you?" There's obvious fear in the question. Jimin rambles off a few absurd scenarios in worry. 

Yoongi doesn’t think anything bad happened. He thinks Hoseok is still just mad about their argument. But if Jimin hasn't even heard from him, or about the argument, he's starting to assume the worst. Still, he knows Jimin's already anxious and he doesn't want to upset him any more. 

"I'm sure he's safe. We had a bit of an argument the other night, so I thought maybe he needed space and was staying with you." Yoongi shares hoping it will ease Jimin’s concern. Unfortunately, that backfires. Jimin questions again, sounding even more concerned. 

"You two fought? Hyung, what did you do?" Yoongi's admittedly a little offended that Jimin automatically assumes he's in the wrong. But he can’t be too mad about it. It's not like he's wrong… 

"We just," he pauses to chew on his lower lip. Just thinking about it makes him feel guilty, "had a small disagreement over his Lollapalooza performance. I overreacted. And might have said some pretty hurtful things to him. I may have told him his debut is going to flop." It sounds so stupid to say it out loud. 

"Yoongi-hyung, how could you?" Jimin's using his scolding voice, the voice he uses to reprimand Taehyung and Jungkook. But Yoongi doesn't stop him. "You know how stressed out he's been about his album debut and the performance." And yes, Yoongi does know. "He's been really nervous about it. He doesn't need any added stress right now. You know he's already overworking himself." Yoongi knows that too. 

When Jimin's been silent for a full ten seconds, Yoongi responds. "I feel awful about it, Jimin-ah. I know I took it too far. I knew the second the words left my mouth. I thought he just needed time to cool off. But he hasn't even opened my texts. And all of my calls go straight to voicemail." Guilt and regret is usually hard for Yoongi to admit, but talking to Jimin has always been easy. The words just fall out. Yoongi’s unable to restrain himself; his emotions pour onto his sleeve. 

"I know you probably do feel bad, hyung." Jimin's tone softens again. The wrath of Jimin is a force to be reckoned with. But as quick as it comes, it goes, leaving a gentle warmth behind. "But you need to tell Hobi-hyung you're sorry. You need to talk to him. In person." Yoongi huffs. Why is Jimin always right? 

"I would if I could. But I don't know where he is!" The rapper shouts into the receiver. It's not directed at Jimin, just an eruption to ease his own frustration. But he finds that he doesn’t feel any better afterwards. And he quickly corrects himself before another member, another person he cares deeply about, gets mad at him. "Sorry for yelling, but I feel sick just thinking about it. I want to see him." 

"Then find him. He has to be around somewhere." Jimin replies calmly. "You know him better than anyone else. You should know where he is." 

Jimin's smooth speech feels like a comforting hug pressed around him. He takes a deep calming breath, "I'm going to go find him. You'll let me know if you hear anything?" 

"Of course. And you'll let me know when you find him?" 

"Absolutely." 

"Once you guys figure everything out, tell him to call me. There's something I need to talk to him about." Yoongi can hear the smirk in Jimin's voice. He wonders what Jimin could want to talk about. 

"If he talks to me, I'll let him know." 

"He's going to talk to you, hyung. He loves you." Jimin reminds like it's the most obvious thing in the world. He’s quick to hang up before Yoongi can argue.

Yoongi doesn’t know where to start. He does know Hoseok better than anyone, so he knows Hoseok’s favorite place is in their home. That knowledge isn’t getting him far. If he hasn’t reached out to Jimin, it’s unlikely that he’s reached out to any other member. Then Yoongi remembers one thing that Hoseok loves on an equal scale to Yoongi and the rest of the members- ARMY. He opens social media to see if Hoseok’s posted anything recently that might give him a clue about the dancer’s location. 

He finds an Instagram story posted 18 hours ago. It’s a mirror selfie. Yoongi immediately identifies the practice room and knows it’s in the company building. He stares at the selfie, having to flip back and forth between his and Namjoon’s story after the 10 seconds pass for Hoseok’s. Hoseok looks tired, and uncharacteristically pale. He looks small, but it may just be because everything he’s wearing is at least three sizes bigger than his body. His face is mostly covered by a low sitting bucket hat. And a caption to remind ARMY that he’s doing everything he can to make sure his debut is a success. Yoongi feels that comment is directed more at him than ARMY though. He thinks Hoseok posted it as a clue. 

He starts his search from there. He knows at least Hoseok was at the company building 18 hours ago. Maybe he’s still there, living out of his studio. Or maybe someone from the company has seen him and knows where he is. It’s a starting point. So Yoongi makes the short drive over to the company and shoots up the elevator to the dance studio. He finds that same studio reserved for an ENHYPHEN practice.  

Next he wanders the halls until he gets to Hoseok’s studio. The door is locked, but Yoongi knows the passcode and lets himself inside. Hoseok’s not there. Though Yoongi speculates he recently was. Their production software is open on his screen. Sheet music and lyric papers are scattered on the desk. His phone is buried among the chaos. When Yoongi picks it up, he notices that the device is dead. He graciously plugs it into the cord that Hoseok keeps in the USB port of the tower powering his desktop and watches for the little battery symbol to light up. He then sets that aside.

When he wanders closer to the work station, he has to throw his hand over his nose. He’s nauseated by the smell coming from Hoseok’s studio waste bin. He immediately recognizes the stench as vomit, but still peeks into the bin to confirm. There’s a bag a quarter filled with brown liquid and undigested stomach contents. Yoongi knows it must have been Hoseok. He wonders how many times Hoseok’s thrown up as he ties off the bag and carries it down to the trash chute at the end of the hall. 

Yoongi returns and waits again for Hoseok. He has to come back eventually. The man can’t go more than an hour without using his phone. He sits himself on Hoseok’s oversized couch and keeps his eyes trained on the door. 

Hoseok does return, but not how Yoongi expected him to be. Hoseok shuffles slowly through the door, hunched over with an arm clutching his middle and a grimace on his sweaty face. His knees wobble as if Hoseok’s just ran 10 kilometers to get there, but Yoongi thinks that’s hardly the case. A soft breeze would be enough to knock him over.  

The dancer doesn’t even notice Yoongi sitting on the couch among his many pillows as he makes his way back to his desk. He practically collapses into the desk chair and has to yank himself back toward the computer. His movements are slow and it seems like even the slightest click causes him pain. Yoongi watches in silence and Hoseok continues to attempt to work through his obvious suffering. He shoots Jimin a quick text to let him know he’s found Hoseok, but to hold off on reaching out.

Yoongi knows he should intervene. He knows he should jump in and force Hoseok to take a break. But he isn’t sure where to start. He wants to apologize for how he acted, how he spoke the other night. But Hoseok doesn’t look like he has the energy to have that conversation right now. He contemplates just jumping in and taking care of him, but he doesn’t want to do that if Hoseok’s still mad about their fight. It’s a paradoxical situation that Yoongi can’t think himself out of. All the answers seem wrong. 

It’s not until Hoseok burps up a stream of liquid that splatters loudly inside the unbagged garbage bin that Yoongi jumps in. He’s off the couch and by Hoseok’s side in less than a second. “Easy, love. Take it easy.” He knows how emetophobic Hoseok is. It pains him to know that Hoseok was through this alone. “Just let it out. You’ll feel better. You’re doing great.”  He coaxes with gentle ministrations along the dancer’s skin as more vomit spews from his mouth. Hoseok doesn’t immediately push him away, Yoongi takes that as a sign to continue. 

Hoseok pants heavily with his face still hovering over the bin. Silent tears run down to the tip of his nose and mix with the sick mess coating the plastic. When he sniffles in an attempt to slow the tears, Yoongi finally realizes he’s crying. “Hobi. Hobi, baby. Tell me what hurts.” He uses one finger to lift Hoseok’s chin, guiding them to make eye contact. 

Looking into Yoongi’s soft, innocent eyes only makes him cry harder. His shoulders shake with violent sobs. “Wh-Why are you-ou he-here.” He cries out between hiccuping breaths. 

Yoongi gasps, taking a step back. He didn’t mean to upset Hoseok. But he guesses the younger is still mad at him. He takes a deep breath and goes in for the apology, “Oh, Hob-ah.” He uses a tissue to wipe away the rivers of tears that pour down his puffy cheeks. Hoseok allows it, trying to measure his breathing. “I came to apologize to you about the other night.” Hoseok wipes his eyes in waiting. Yoongi takes a deep breath before continuing. “Hobi, I am so sorry for the things I said the other night. I know how hard you’ve been working, and how nervous you are. It was insensitive of me to use that against you. I want to make it up to you.” Yoongi takes Hoseok’s hand into his own, using his thumb to rub over the soft sweaty skin on the dancer’s palm. “Can you forgive me?” 

Hoseok, again, doesn’t pull away. He wants to stay mad at Yoongi. He wants Yoongi to feel the consequences of his hurtful actions. But he also doesn’t feel well. He wants to be cuddled and pampered just a bit. He wants someone to rub his stomach and play with his hair because it makes him feel better. He wanted someone to break into his studio out of concern and be his knight in shining armor. God, he loves Yoongi so much. But not enough to just let him off the hook. “I can’t believe you told me my debut would fail. I thought you believed in me.” Hoseok reminds him, punctuating the sentence with a sob. 

It stings like a knife in Yoongi’s chest to be reminded. But he knows he deserves it. What Yoongi said to him probably stung even worse in the moment. “I do believe in you, jagi.” Yoongi clasps his hand tighter. “Hoseok, everything you touch turns to gold. I was an idiot. I am an idiot. And idiots say stupid, meaningless, hurtful things sometimes. Even to the people they love the most.” Yoongi sheds a tear. Then five. Then 10. Then too many to count because they just don’t seem to stop. 

The weight of the situation hurts, he can’t mask this raw emotion he has looking at the heartbreak in Hoseok’s eyes. He knows he shouldn’t be crying, because he was in the wrong and he certainly doesn’t deserve Hoseok’s sympathy. Especially since Hoseok’s emotionally hurt and physically sick. Hoseok doesn't have the bandwidth to be dealing with an emotional Yoongi right now. So he quickly rubs the tears away, swiping at his running nose with the back of his sleeve. “I’m so sorry, Hob-ah.”

“Hyung,” Hoseok whispers to get the older man’s attention. And he has it instantly. This is the first term of endearment Hoseok’s used. Granted, it’s not as romantic as Yoongi’s used to. But it’s a step in the right direction. At least he’s getting acknowledged at all. “I just wanted your support.” He swallows thickly, feeling another round of nausea creeping in. He’s not going to punish Yoongi any more. Seeing him cry was enough. “I’m scared.” The words leave his mouth in an airy whisper. 

But Yoongi hears them clearly. He doesn’t have any words, left absolutely stunned speechless for the first time in his life. His heart aches at the confession, at the vulnerability in Hoseok’s voice. He moves forward and pulls Hoseok into a tight hug, hoping that the embrace would speak to how much support, admiration and affection he has for the younger man. 

Hoseok is initially grateful for the hug. It’s warm and tight, a welcomed pressure grounding him. He’s been feeling like he’s been free falling into a void for weeks now. Like he’s been shrouded in darkness. But Yoongi brings him a ray of light. Yoongi’s arms make him feel safe. They also, unfortunately, make him feel sick. He feels the nausea he swallowed previously creep into the back of his throat. As much as he wants to melt into his boyfriend’s chest, he pushes Yoongi away. 

Yoongi’s heartbroken at first, thinking he’d moved too quickly into rekindling their relationship. He thinks that Hoseok’s holding a steady grudge. But when he sees Hoseok dive for the bin again, he realizes that Hoseok’s shove was just to avoid vomiting on him. He’s grateful, and comforts Hoseok again not a second later. He swipes fingers through Hoseok’s hair, wondering when the strands got so long. He grazes the dancer’s skin and feels the heat of fever radiating off of him. He knows the rest of the apology and the remainder of the restorations can wait. He needs to get Hoseok home, resting. He’s overworked himself to the point he’s made himself sick. And Yoongi feels like that’s his fault, too. 

Hoseok dry heaves over the bin, his stomach completely empty. But he’s been on this rotation for a while now. He knows it’s only a matter of time before the discomfort settles in his other end. He’s taken six emergent trips to the bathroom since he’d started feeling sick. And the persistent cramping and aches tell him it’s going to go on for a while. 

“Hob-ah,” Yoongi massages the tense muscles in Hoseok’s neck and shoulders. Hoseok relaxes immediately. “Let’s go home.” He encourages, kissing the crown of the other’s head. “Let me take care of you, please.”

“My album…” Hoseok replies, glancing a second at the computer screen. It’s timed out, a colorful screensaver lighting up the screen. He had wanted to finish something today. Otherwise, all his suffering had been for nothing. 

“Jagiya. You still have so much time. Please.” Yoongi pleads, kneeling in front of Hoseok, looking up at him with pleading eyes and pressing random kisses to his knuckles, “Please. Come home with me.” He won’t take no for an answer. 

A quiet voice in the back of Hoseok’s mind knows that he’s tortured Yoongi enough. And he’s tortured himself enough. He doesn’t want to take a break, the pressure of debut weighs down heavily upon him. But he knows taking a few days to recover will do him some good. “I really don’t feel well, hyung. My tummy hurts.” 

Yoongi smiles, standing up and helping Hoseok to stand as well. “I know, love. You’ll feel better soon.” He guides Hoseok out of the studio and down the hall. 

Hoseok has to stop by the bathroom before he allows Yoongi to take them to the car. When Yoongi sees the way that Hoseok wiggles his hips and clenches his ass through the door, he imagines he knows what's going on. He uses that time to go back to Hoseok’s studio and tidy up a bit. He makes sure the track is saved and the papers are organized. He grabs Hoseok’s barely charged phone when he sees it. He throws the whole waste bin down the trash chute and decides he’ll just buy Hoseok a new one. He knows Hoseok hates a mess. And Yoongi doesn’t want his boyfriend to be immediately stressed again once he returns to work. 

Hoseok’s still in the bathroom when Yoongi returns. He enters and leans against one of the sinks, waiting. He listens silently to the angry noises Hoseok’s stomach makes. He hears the steady flow of liquid shit and gaseous breaks in between. He hears Hoseok whimper, whine and moan in discomfort. When a staff member enters the bathroom, Yoongi politely asks them to find another to spare Hoseok’s dignity. 

15 minutes pass and Yoongi finally hears the toilet flush. Hoseok emerges from the stall looking seconds away from passing out. Yoongi is immediately worried about dehydration. “Hob-ah. Drink something.” He says before he realizes there’s nothing to drink in the bathroom. So instead, he just cups water in his hands and dampens Hoseok’s face and neck. He hopes through the power of osmosis it will be enough to keep him hydrated enough until he can get to a vending machine. 

There’s a machine on the lower level and he pays for a bottle of water. In one swift motion, he snatches the drink from the machine and unscrews the cap, bringing it to Hoseok’s lips. The dancer can only take a few sips before he turns away. His skin starts to pale. He looks positively green. But he doesn’t throw up. So Yoongi quickly guides them back to the car and drives. If he goes over the speed limit, Hoseok doesn’t correct him. 

Hoseok falls immediately onto their living room sofa when he steps through the door. He doesn’t have the strength to get to the bedroom. Yoongi tries to encourage Hoseok to drink a little more before he falls asleep. But Hoseok can only take five more small sips. “Cuddle me, please, jagi.” Hoseok asks shyly, making room for Yoongi on the couch. 

Yoongi can’t say no. He sits down and lets Hoseok make himself comfortable. The dancer’s head rests against Yoongi’s shoulder, his body across his lap. It’s the perfect position so Yoongi has access to his hair and his stomach. Yoongi realizes this too and provides comforting touches. “Just a little nap, Hobi. Okay? Then you need food and medicine,” Yoongi can smell Hoseok’s body odor combined with the stench of sickness, “and a ahower.” He presses a kiss to his boyfriend’s sweaty forehead. “But for now, rest.” 

Hoseok starts to fall asleep, safe and content in Yoongi’s arms. “I’m not mad at you anymore, Yoon-ie.” He slurs, voice thick will sleep. “Thank you for looking out for me.” 

“Always, Jagi.” Yoongi starts to feel tired himself, the stress of their fight finally falling off his shoulders. “I’ll always look out for you.” 

As he drifts, Hoseok thinks of the lyrics he was working on. He thinks he’s finally gotten the concept. He’s found his safe zone.

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A/N: I didn't know I was going to make this about Safety Zone literally until I wrote the final line. Guess it just kinda worked out that way? Is that cliche? Anyway, JITB is so great! I love all the songs. I love Hoseok and am so proud of his debut! Just because this is my last JITB request does not mean it's my last Hoseok request. But we'll see what comes next. However my motivations fall.

As always, thanks for reading to the end! Feedback is always appreciated. And please let me know if I missed any tags or TWs. Please call me out for any errors you notice!

Lots of Love