#tutorial feedback 5

We showed our “finalised” animatic to everyone in the classroom to see whether or not we are able to convey what we want in our film.

The response we received: - the sense of the danger/storm/willy willy IS STILL NOT THERE To do this we need to build the sense of dread coming in the beginning maybe through a shadow hovering over the house. We also need to have something shattering or the damage in the film caused by the tragedy through having something broken or to show the result of the house being destroyed at the end. The baby at the end could also possibly be cracked before it match cuts to the loquat already cracked. 

- the abstract/trauma sequence isn’t coherent...? A lot of the patterns that appear in the animatic only express itself as an artful, beautiful piece instead of symbolising the change/catalyst in Vyonne’s body. The audience will only read this as a set of patterns and forget about it later on. Hence the colours and shapes need to be clarified, they all need to be given some sort of meaning behind it and there was a little confusion with the colours being represented in the animatic. Another thing to add is to show a smudge of colour in Vyonne’s body to show there is something alive and give a reason why Vyonne is defensive of her body.

- the music/sound effects doesn’t convey what we intended The music became a distraction to the audience to what’s going on as it is full on. It should be used sparingly. We want the audience to arrive into the film and to introduce/make them feel the setting. This music, however, can come swirl up when the loquat hits the ground. We also need to give the trauma it’s own sounds. A lot of successful films had audio that exemplified the film’s meaning without the audience noticing so while a lot of the audio was used as a placeholder, we will aim to find better sounds so the Sound Design students will understand our intention.