#tunypot

i appreciate the high-level serious thematic work we’ve been doing on here but unfortunately im a simple girl raised on 90s bodice-ripper paperbacks and I SEE the sexy potentiality of petunia tempting her so-called “better" into infidelity... that's anna karenina. she could be anna karenina-ing with him. 

i see james, the cartoonishly picture-perfect old money “dream man” (with his christmas cards & sprawling vacation home on martha's vineyard) poked and prodded into infidelity by the mousy, plain, conniving little shrew of a horny younger sister. 

petunia has the type of crush you have on your older sister’s husband! she, of course, being 30 and still unmarried herself. except she experiments with her (repressed, burgeoning) sexuality by tempting him, relentlessly, delighting in his desire, and james succumbs quite easily to temptation. he’s weak. 

it is ghastly and inappropriate. he hates her, every time he “accidentally” walks in on her rolling down her stockings. he knows what she’s doing. and she conquers him (she! forgettable petunia!) into an all-consuming affair that takes place in every empty room of every empty house @fernhelm

james potter inherited his father's massive hairgel conglomerate and is a millionaire along with his wife who spends her days gardening and wondering whether she wants kids.

Petunia was out of work, after escaping from her suffocating ex-husband Vernon who is irritatingly traditional. James employed her as his secretary out of the goodness of his heart.

She spills coffee down her white blouse and her bra is lacy pink. Her skirt is too short, her hair is perfectly curled and she walks in heels perfectly. Genderbend Anna Karenina vibes. You know what happens next.

(i was thinking sunflower? potentially? jetunia?)

thank god we are collectively beginning to understand the secretary (2002) maggie gyllenhaal appeal of jetunia… i could even see them in a phantom thread style dynamic a little bit.

ty for tagging me @sixlane @sugarsnappeases and @static-radio-ao3

It started the summer that Petunia was lonely and James was the same as he'd always been.

tysm for the tag @sugarsnappeases and @sixlane

here's a little smth from the tunypot fic:

She remembered meeting him, Lily’s rich boyfriend from her fancy boarding school.  Petunia always thought she’d seen James before he’d seen her, a fact which she held close like a private victory. Of course, they’d been introduced at the same time, but James’s eyes lingered on her face for only as long as it took to commit it to memory. She could see the process, him filing her away as Lily’s sister. He looked through her and at the same time projected impatience, a desire to get away from her. Lily had told him whatever she’d told him, Petunia guessed. 

He was everything boys like James were always promised to be. Spoiled, arrogant, perpetually bored. As handsome as money makes them, and then more so. He grinned a perfect grin, and Lily rolled her eyes, and they were made for each other. It was all terribly expected.