#tunsade

The night after hearing Tsunade say that she hadn’t any contact with the four Jounin you felt the most lonely you ever had in your life. Sleeping was an impossible task. Clutching the blanket and desperatly hugging your own body you fell in a deep and dark lake of worry and fear.

Soft sobbing went into really loud gasps of hurt until you were a crying mess. And you really were hurting. Not just emotionally, but even physically. Your eyes burned after you repeatedly had rubbed your tears away, your chest ache after nearly hyperventilating almost hourly the last few days and your heart….it felt like someone closed their hands around it and tried to crush it.

Sleep deprived you stood up at 6 am, got on your clothes, got your key and straight left the apartment for the Hokage office.

Sitting in front of the door you waited. Finally you heard Tsunade footsteps slowly get louder and louder. You raised your head as her feet stopped in front of you. The moment you gazed into her hazel eyes she understood completely how you were feeling. She had been there before too many times herself.

“Y/n? Oh my god you look horrible.”

You left that statement unanswered and came straight to the point.

“Tsunade, I want to be on the team.” You were serious, really serious.

“You know, Y/n …. I can’t do it..it’s …complicated..” She led out a deep sigh and in this moment she really do look older than twenty five, almost her real age. “You just don’t have the security level. It’s impossible. The elders will kill me.”

“Please Tsunade, please. Just give me the level for this mission. Let the silly paper work be paper work, you know I’m good enough!”

“Yeah, and it isn’t like you don’t have any emotional connection to it. Absolutely a safe case.” She squinted and you could nearly see her mind racing, trying to solve this problem, because she wasn’t a cold hearted, angry woman. She truly wanted the best for her Shinobi and the Leaf Village.

“Who’s even on the mission? I can at least know that.” You said speaking more harshly than intended.

“Danzo’s first Anbu Captain Torime and two of his most skilled teammates: Zansatsu and Yannaka. They will leave tomorrow, well prepaired and slept out.” She looked at you still on the ground as if you were a restless puppy failing to sit down and wait.

“You can count me in on that.” You were determinded and also had another ace up your sleeve. “Tsunade, you know as well as I do that this mission is dangerous. Kakashi wouldn’t have got it otherwise.” You slowly stood up with quivering legs till you both were at eye level. "And that they don’t have got in contact with you as planned means they’re either hostages or very badly injured. How could you take responsibility for sending a team without a trained medic-nin? How?! The Anbu are good. At killing and fighting for sure. But healing is my strength and you know that.“

You wanted to go and nothing on this world could stop you.

@im-a-fidget-spinner