#tuggleman

“Listen, I know that this is our first Christmas together, and more importantly, our first Christmas party together.  But there’s something that I want to do with you.” Barbara was very careful, turning her whole body to her girlfriend as she played video games on the couch.

“Is it butt stuff?” Lindsay didn’t even miss a beat, and didn’t miss a shot as she mowed down aliens with her battle rifle.

Barbara snorted and slapped Lindsay’s shoulder.  “We can’t do that at a Christmas party!  No.  This is much more important and intimate.”

Lindsay groaned as she watched the kill screen bleed across the TV.  “What’s more intimate than that?”

“Stop it!  Why would you link anal and Christmas?”

“What if you wanted it as a gift?  You should understand these things, Barb.” Lindsay set her controller to the side and resting her hand on Barbara’s.

“I don’t want that as a gift.  I wouldn’t have mentioned the party, if it was.  No, I want is… well, I want to get you a special gift early, if you’ll accept it.  For the party.”

“Is it… weird lingerie?”

“Lindsay, no!  It’s not anything sexy!  I want us to get each other Christmas sweaters.  For Christmas and the Christmas Party.”

Lindsay furrowed her brow.  “I thought you liked to dress up all pretty.  That’s when you get all dolled up and look so lovely.”  Lindsay knew that she was totally smitten for Barbara at last year’s Christmas party, whe n she was all dolled up in the dress that made her look like a gorgeous painting.  And Lindsay couldn’t help but watch her with awe.

Barbara blushed and turned her hand over to wrap her fingers around Lindsay’s hand.  “I do, but I also want to wear sweaters as well.  I know it isn’t really cold enough in Texas to really need them, but I just think it would be cute.” Barbara’s blush turned from a faint pink to a full on rosy red, “And I… I might’ve been wanting to find someone to do this with for a while.  The other people I’ve dated… they weren’t really into it.”

“Oh.”

Barbara tried to pull her hand away, shaking her head, “Never mind, it’s a little too dumb, even for me.”

“Barb, no!  It’s not dumb, why would you ever think that?”  Lindsay held a little tighter to Barbara’s hand, pulling her closer to wrap her free arm around her shoulder.  “It’s an adorable idea!  You should know by now that I love ridiculous clothes!”

Barbara melted into Lindsay’s chest, smiling happily, “Really?”

“Barbara Dunkelman.  I would love to go with you to the Christmas party in a ridiculous Christmas sweater that you picked out for me.  And to have you next to me, wearing the sweater I picked out for you.”

Barbara hummed happily, slipping her arms to wrap around Lindsay and hold her closer.  “Thank you… I… you’re the best.”  Barbara mentally kicked herself for tripping up over the words.  They hadn’t said ‘I love you’ to each other yet… even if they had come really close to doing so, and, Barbara at least, felt like they were in love… she just didn’t think they were really ready to say it, yet… Not now.  So she settled for snuggling close to her girlfriend and watching the virtual destruction that she enacted upon the poor species of aliens.

-

“Who knew it would be so hard to find sweaters in Texas?” Lindsay remarked dryly as she flicked through the rack of winter clothes in what might have been the third clothing store she stopped at.

“It doesn’t get fucking cold, Lindsay.  Though with the some of these people whine, you’d think we were in fucking Alaska.” Michael crossed his arms and whined, looking around.  He did not sign up for this.  Lindsay asked if he wanted to hang out and maybe do a little shopping.  He did not expect to be dragged all across the fucking city looking for a dumb sweater for Lindsay’s girlfriend.  “Isn’t she Jewish?  What does it even matter?  Just grab one and go.”

The screech of metal hangers on the clothing rack stopped with a forceful click of plastic on plastic as Lindsay whipped her head around to shoot daggers at Michael.  “Let me tell you, Michael Jones, this fucking matters.”  Her hard demeanor fell and she almost looked like she was pleading, “This is our first Christmas together and she said that she wanted this.  That she’s wanted this for a long time.”  Lindsay drew herself up and turned back to the rack and began flicking through the sweaters once more.  “And so, I’m going to find her the fucking ugliest sweater I can.  With or without your help.”

Michael rolled his eyes.  He might’ve thought that this was a dumb mission, he wasn’t going to leave his friend hanging.  He was an asshole, not a monster.  “You know you might have better luck going to a thrift store.  A fucking charity shop, or whatever.  You’re thinking far too fashionably.  Fuck, if you didn’t care about how Texas it would be, gift shops might have something.”

The screech of metal on metal stopped once again, but when Lindsay turned to look at Michael, she had a smile on her face.  “Thanks, Michael.”

-

Barbara was beginning to worry that maybe this wasn’t the best idea.  The sort of sweater she was looking for apparently just didn’t exist in this state.  Maybe she shouldn’t have tried to force this sort of thing.  Maybe she should have just surprised Lindsay with whatever she could find.  But there was something about this silly idea she had had for years now, that she just wanted it done right.

Barbara sighed as she started to go through the rack of sweaters of the third clothing store she had been to today.  Every sweater was either too tame and fashionable, or obviously meant to profit off of the ugly sweater aesthetic.  She would scream if she saw another sweatshirt printed with a ‘Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal’ on it.  She would fucking do it.  She honestly got angry just thinking about the number that she had seen just today, not including the number she had seen over the last week of looking.

But before her rage could get any higher, her phone tickled with the chorus of cat meows that she had set to notify her when Lindsay called.  Barbara calmed herself with a breath before answering her phone, “Hey, Baby!  How’s it going?”

“I think I found you the perfect sweater.” Lindsay’s cheer bubbled over the phone, but it made Barbara’s heart sink a little.

“Really?”

“You don’t… seem very excited about it.  Is something wrong?”

“Oh no, no!  Not at all, that’s great.” Even Barbara could hear the flat tone in her voice.

“What’s wrong, babe?”

“I just… I just can’t find anything!  I knew that it’s be hard, but it’s near impossible!  And I swear, some of these dumb sweatshirts aimed at college kids will make me scream.” Barbara flicked a hangar to the side to reveal yet another blue sweater with tasteful red speckles.  Too tame.

“Babe, do you know how long it took to find one?  A fucking long time, and some of Michael’s brand of helping.  And  I don’t care what it is, it doesn’t have to be the perfect gift.  It’s just a sweater.  And if you pick it, I’ll love it no matter what.”

“I know I just…” I love you so much “I really care about you and I want to make this good.” Barbara flicked another hangar, barely noticing the sweater at first, listening to her girlfriend tell her that their relationship wouldn’t be in peril over ugly Christmas sweaters.  And then she noticed the knitted piece in hand.  “Lindsay, baby, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt you, but I just found the perfect sweater.  God, it’s perfect!” Barbara snatched up the sweater as Lindsay’s laugh crackled over the phone.  “You’re like my good luck charm, baby, everything’s been looking up since we got together.”

-

Barbara’s green and black dress shimmered under the bathroom lights as she dabbed a little more ruby shadow on her eye.  The fabric fluttered when she moved, causing even more pinpoints of light to overtake her form.  She moved back to look over her eyes and set the brush down when she confirmed that she was happy with it, and she could finally move on to her lips.

“You look beautiful, baby.” Barbara jumped a little as Lindsay caught a hand around her waist, resting her chin on her shoulder. 

“I think you look pretty good, yourself.” Barbara blushed as she took in her girlfriend.  Lindsay was already done up, having begun before Barbara had even arrived at her apartment.  The formfitting maroon dress hugged her curves and accentuated her hips nicely, transitioning beautifully into the black tights with silver flecks running through them.  Her own makeup had a theme of emerald, matching her girlfriend’s outfit in a delightfully couple-y way.

Lindsay giggled happily and pressed a kiss to Barbara’s cheek before slipping away to let her finish up her makeup.   “I hope that bag you brought also has a sweater in it.  Because I have yours ready to be revealed, and I don’t know if I can wait any longer to show it to you.”

Barbara placed her brush down and picked up her blush.  “It does contain a sweater.  A fantastically bad sweater.”  Her joking manner fell a bit, leaving only really adoration, “I’m glad you agreed to do this.”  She wasn’t even sure that Lindsay heard her, but she smiled all the same.  She glanced over to the door where the woman she loved disappeared behind, just for a moment.  She had to say it.  Tonight.  She resolved herself to doing it tonight.

-

“I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since I saw this sweater, Barb.  I think you’re going to love it.” Lindsay was sitting on the couch, a perfectly wrapped present clutched to her chest, eagerly awaiting her girlfriend to come and sit down with her.

Barbara reached into her bag, pulling out a long, festive garment box, topped with a big red bow, before going to join Lindsay on the couch.  “I have as well.  And I know you’re going to love this.”

Lindsay began to hand over her bundle, before quickly pulling it back into her chest.  “Wait.  Do you want to do this right now?  Do you have any preamble, or anything?”

Barbara thought for a moment, before just shaking her head.  “No.  Oh!  Well, first,” She leaned in a pressed a soft kiss to Lindsay’s lips, “I want to thank you.  For doing this with means.  It seems silly, but it means a lot.”

Lindsay followed Barbara’s lips for a moment, wanting to keep on kissing her.  “No, no, honey, it isn’t silly.  Especially if it really means something to you.  And this is really fun, and I can’t wait to see what you picked out for me.”

Barbara smiled, hoping the powder blush on her cheeks covered the real blush forming.  “Here.  I thought this was the perfect one for you.” She presented the garment box to Lindsay with near uncontained excitement.

Lindsay’s dimpled smile was probably one of the prettiest that Barbara had seen since she agreed to go on a date with her.  “I will admit; Michael was the one who found it.  But I approved it and bought it!  So that counts, right?” Lindsay took the box and replaced it with her rather crumpled looking present.  She placed the box in her lap and waited for Barbara to open hers first.

“Let’s see…” Barbara carefully pulled at the tape, trying to rip the paper as little as possible.  “We have a… red sweater.  Oh, wait, there’s green stripes, too.  So, a red and green sweater, very Christmas, and- oh!  Oh, Lindsay!” Barbara pulled the sweater out of the paper and unfolded it in front of her.  The sweater did indeed, look very Christmas-y, with its red and green patterning, and the coils of sequined Christmas lights making its way along the sweater.  But was very much not Christmas, and made the sweater perfect in Barbara’s eyes, was the almost joyful ‘Merry Hanukkah’ emblazoned across the front.  Barbara grasped the sweater close to her chest and looked upon Lindsay with all the love she had.

“Do you like it?”

“I love it, Lindsay!  I love it so much!”

“Oh, well,” Lindsay turned a red almost as bright as the sweater in Barbara’s hands, “I’m glad.”

Barbara reached her hand out to touch the box in Lindsay’s hands before manipulating the sweater in her hands to try and pull it on.  “Open mine, now!”

“Right!” Lindsay pulled the lid off the box, and was already cooing at what she could see.  Cats in Santa hats.  “Barb, that’s so cute!”

“Pull it out and see the rest of it!” Barbara called from the middle of her sweater.

Lindsay pulled the sweater out to reveal the variety of cats in Santa hats and Christmas Elf hats all surrounding the scrolling text ‘Meowy Christmas’.  “I see that we had a somewhat similar theme.”

“Do you like it?” Barbara watched Lindsay’s expression carefully, now thoroughly cuddled in her sweater.

“Of course I love it, Barb!  It’s perfect.”

“Come on, put it on!” Barbara was nearly jumping with excitement as she pulled Lindsay up.  She was already reaching for her phone while Lindsay was pulling the sweater on over her head.  She had to get a picture of them together, right in the moment.  “Oh, you even look perfect in it!”  Barbara couldn’t help but giggle at the blush that was now overtaking Lindsay’s face.  “Look at you!” Barbara took Lindsay by the waist and drew their bodies together.  Lindsay was avoiding her eyes, one hand coming up to cover her face, and hide the blush that had reached her ears.  “I love you.”

Lindsay froze under Barbara’s touch, and for a moment, she was worried, “What?”

Well, she could repeat it, and hope that Lindsay responded favorably, or try and brush it off… “I love you, Lindsay, I really do.”  She felt like she was almost pleading with Lindsay, hoping that she would feel the same.

And Lindsay began to laugh.  “I… I love you too, baby.”  She covered her face with both hands after she said it, a little bit in disbelief.

“Really?” Barbara’s voice cracked slightly as she looked at Lindsay.

“Yeah!  Of course!  I’ve loved you for a long, long time, Barb.” Lindsay took Barbara’s face in her hands and gently brought their lips together, reveling in the moment of them holding each other close like this, sure of their love.

Fridays were usually date nights. A cliche day, but it just meant they could sleep in together and come to work a little later than usual. Most date nights, Barbara roped them in with the others to whatever ridiculous pisspot of a place Gavin would think up to drink at or some get together an Adam put together, but sometimes the day would end with no extra work and Barbara would sit across from Lindsay, spinning in Caleb’s chair and staring at the ceiling.

“That’s not helping us decide. Caleb’s going to be pissed if you break his chair.” “Nah, s’cool. The dweeb will apologize for it, you know he will. Like he purposely made the chair break.” Lindsay grinned, leaning back in her own chair and nodding. “Yeah, he’s a good kid. But talking about him isn’t going to help us either. Caleb probably takes his dates to frisbee tournaments.” “You think there’s such a thing?” “Where do you think Caleb is all the time?” “The hospital for breaking bones from frisbee tournaments!” Barbara laughed, rolling her chair over to Lindsay and leaning forward to give her a peck. Lindsay returned it with a grin, reaching up and slinging an arm around Barbara’s shoulders, her other hand running through the blonde hair.

“You wanna go dancing?” “Like… club dancing?” “No, I mean like… dresses, and suits. Ballroom dancing.” “For… date night? Isn’t that like, punishment?” Barbara squinted at Lindsay, her head tilting into the hand petting her hair, “do you really want too?” Lindsay shrugged, pulling her hand back to pap at Barbara’s cheek, squishing it a little. “Yeah, why not? We don’t have to go out out. There’s dresses here still, right? We can go dance in the studio. Oh, man, yeah! Go get some beer, ok?” “... Coors left in the fridge?” “Dunno. Run out to get a few bottles,” Lindsay pushed Barbara’s chair away with her foot, getting up and giving her a thumbs up, “this’ll be sweet! C’mon. We’ll have fun.” “We’re having date night at our work.” “Yeah, but we’ll be in dresses and be drinking beer. It’ll be better than just work,” Lindsay argued, hopping up from her chair and grabbing her wallet and phone, “I’ll see you in the cave!” And she was gone, disappearing out the Achievement Hunter office.

Barbara, for a moment, honestly thought she was dating an impulsive cat.

“Barb? That you? Zip me up!”

Barbara shut the door of the studio with her hip, stepping into the area and giving a heavy sigh. It smelt so weird back here; stale beer and weird boy scents. Behind a makeshift partition Lindsay poked her head out, waving a gloved hand at her. Barbara rolled her eyes and set the brown bag down on someone’s desk, walking over to the partition and stepping behind it. Lindsay turned her back to her immediately, pulling her hair over one shoulder and lowering her head a little. The dress she wore was strapless and knee length, a simple design and in a dark red.

She looked amazing in it. Barbara sighed dreamily, as if she couldn’t believe her luck with Lindsay, and reached over to zip the girl up. Lindsay did a small shimmy, adjusting her breasts in the top and turning to face Barbara with a grin.

“Good?” “You look amazing.” “Yeah, I know,” Lindsay winked and stepped out from behind the partition, sitting down at a chair and pulling a compact out of her wallet. She set it up and ran her fingers through her hair, faux brushing it before she pulled it back into a bun on top of her head. Barbara watched her for a moment before she was caught in the compact, Lindsay giving her a soft pout.

“Get dressed!” “I’m going!” Barbara huffed, pulling her sweatshirt off and tossing it at Lindsay. Lindsay just laughed and folded it, setting it neatly on the desk besides her. She closed her compact and set it back into her wallet, grabbing her phone and thumbing through texts, finding one from Michael.

‘Curfews ten pm u hooligan’

Lindsay just grinned and responded with a simple ‘fuck you’ before setting her phone away as Barbara banged into the partition, nearly knocking the makeshift thing down. “Dude, are you ok?” She got up and peeked around it, blinking at Barbara. She was rubbing her elbow, frowning to herself, dress half pulled up over her chest with one arm into a sleeve.

“Yeah, I just banged my elbow pulling this thing up. Whose dress is this? It’s too small around the chest.” “Dunno. It was just back here. Maybe it’s Monty’s, you know he has all those costumes and stuff,” Lindsay shrugged, walking behind the partition and helping Barbara straighten the dress out, adjusting it around her chest with a nod, “you look hot, though. Purple’s always been a good color on you.” Barbara rolled her eyes, adjusting the dresses sleeves. “Yeah, I know. Just… suffocating the girls here,” She patted her chest before looking at Lindsay, head tilted, “well, look at you. Fancy, huh?” “We are dancing.” “True,” Barbara stepped out from behind the partition and sat down at the desk, tilting her head, “my turn, right?” “Uhhuh. Braid?” “Fishtail?” “I’m not God, Barbara,” Lindsay huffed, fingers raking through Barbara’s hair before separating it into three pieces and starting her work. She braided it easily, pulling it all to the side and letting it dangle over Barbara’s shoulder as she set it in place with a ponytail.

“You did good enough,” Barbara tilted her head back and Lindsay leaned down, giving her a soft kiss. She pulled away and took a step back, holding out a hand and giving a small bow of her head. Barbara grinned and took her hand, stepping out of the chair and closer to Lindsay. Lindsay settled her other hand on Barbara’s waist, giving her a smile.

“Ready?” “... Music?” “Oh. Right,” Lindsay sighed, letting go of Barbara’s hand and reaching over to grab her phone, pulling up her music. She thumbed through it before finding a song, turning her phone’s volume up and setting it back down on the desk. The song began and she grabbed Barbara’s hand again, grinning, “Disney music, right?” “Good enough,” Barbara laughed, holding onto Lindsay’s hand as her other settled on the girl’s upper arm, letting Lindsay lead. The other twirled them a little away from the desks, more to the center of the room, and started to dance. Barbara followed her lead, trying hard not to trip over herself. It’s not that dancing was hard, but it was hard pretending you knew vaguely what you were doing.

Lindsay twirled her out and back in, dipping Barbara over and giving a wink. “You’re trying too hard to focus on me. You’ll trip us,” She leaned down, giving Barbara another peck, “follow me, but not exactly. You’ll get it.” “I don’t need instructions. I’m pretty good at this, if I say so myself.”

“I dipped you down so you didn’t fall flat on your face,” Lindsay replied happily, pulling Barbara back up and adjusting her again, giving another wink, “follow, but not too much.” “You’re the worst, you know?” Barbara rolled her eyes and moved easy with Lindsay, trying to keep herself focused on just following after Lindsay but not doing her exact steps. She got the hang of it after a moment, quickly twirling Lindsay out and giving a grin.

“I told you I was good at this!” “Hush!” Lindsay laughed as she was pulled in, spinning close to Barbara. She lid her eyes, swaying easy with the girl before kissing at her cheek, “still think dancing’s dumb?” “... Nah. You make everything good,” Barbara murmured, tilting her face down and giving Lindsay a quick kiss and a squeeze around her waist, pulling away a little bit, “we still have beers, though.” “Bring ‘em home,” Lindsay took a step away, grabbing her wallet and phone, “I’ve got another idea for date night tonight.” “Don’t you have a curfew?” “Yeah, from the goblin who stay up till 4 am playing games with Geoff,” Lindsay laughed, grabbing their forgotten clothes and bundling them in her arms, “C’mon. Your place.” “We’re not going to change?” “Hell no. C’mon already!” Barbara groaned but followed after Lindsay, head shaking. “This is ridiculous. You look ridiculous. We look ridiculous!” “You mean hot,” Lindsay opened the studio door for Barbara, letting her walk out with the bag of beers before closing the door with her hip, “we’re gonna have fun at home, ok? Don’t be so sour.” “I’m not! This is just silly.” “Says Punkleman.”

“So, are you going to be at practice tomorrow? You can watch me fall on my ass with pompoms,” she joked as she shook her red and white pompoms to make her friend laugh. Her red-haired best friend giggled.

It was a cool day in early October when Lindsay Tuggey fell in love with her best friend, Barbara Dunkelman. Barbara had been trying to get her to stay long enough after school so she can watch her practice. They had been friends for years on opposite sides of the social spectrum but they had always found the time to laugh like pompoms and Shakespeare mixed together like strawberries and chocolate.

It was their last year together, before they would separate to go to different colleges and deep down they knew that every day was a countdown to graduation.

“Of course I will. I’ll be your personal cheerleader,” Lindsay told her. Barbara smiled. They were standing in front of Barbara’s home and the cold began to seep into their shoes and chill their toes. “Well, I guess, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

They were standing very close to each other. Their foreheads touched as they felt the other’s breath on their faces. Lindsay’s gloved fingers took hold of Barbara’s naked ones, trying to warm her knuckles.

“Yeah, tomorrow,” Barbara murmured before she pulled away and casually went up to her front door. She waved Lindsay goodbye as she unlocked the door and walked in. Lindsay was close to jogging home when she felt her face heat up when she thought of the moment she shared with Barbara. She slammed the door of her room and threw her backpack on the floor.

“No, not now,” Lindsay cursed to herself. She laid on her bed and stared up to her ceiling. Maybe it was nothing and she pushed it to the back of her head.

She buttoned up her trenchcoat and fixed her scarf as she walked onto the stands of the football field. It was a cloudy day and the air felt humid and heavy. She found a comfortable spot to watch Barbara laugh and practice her routine with her teammates. She watched Barbara pull a beanie over her ears to keep them warm as she followed the routine from her captain. Lindsay waited for Barbara to spot her on the bench and she did. Her heart fluttered in her chest as Barbara jumped and waved her pompoms to her. Lindsay waved back.

There was a break and Barbara called Lindsay down.

“Hey!” Barbara greeted. Lindsay noticed her shivering a bit and Lindsay pulled off her gloves and presented them to her.

“Put these on. Your hands are red,” Lindsay mothered her. Barbara blushed as she gave Lindsay her pompoms to hold to slip on the pair of simple black mittens.

“Thanks, I forgot mine at home. Are you sure? I’m out here for another hour or so…” Barbara took back her pompoms, grateful for the lingering warmth.

“It’s fine,” Lindsay smiled. She kicked at the grass, hoping that Barbara didn’t see the blush across her cheeks.  The captain called everyone back and Lindsay stuck around, watching Barbara work hard at what she was best at. Her skirt twirled at her hips and her blonde waves bounced around her shoulders.

“God, you’re perfect,” Lindsay said to herself as she put her hands to her cheeks for how warm they were.

Lindsay carried Barbara’s pompoms on their way home. She shook them playfully as they walked together.

“You know Gavin asked me out after Chemistry today,” Barbara slipped in. Lindsay stopped playing with the pompoms to look over to Barbara.

“And?” Lindsay questioned as she stopped walking. Barbara twirled around with a smile on her face. Lindsay wasn’t smiling back, she was hurt if she actually said yes. She knew who Gavin was. The foreign boy from England with looks that could kill.

“I never really was into boys anyways,” she admitted. She giggled before she continued walking. Lindsay tried to catch up, letting what Barbara just said sink in. Barbara took her pompoms before she waved goodbye and went into her house.

Lindsay cupped her mouth as she entered her home. She kicked off her shoes and ran up to her room. She crawled onto her bed and buried her face in her pillow, holding on to her sheets to calm herself down.

Maybe it was getting so cold that she couldn’t feel her skin anymore and all her warmth was centered around her heart. Blonde curls and pink lips shined brighter than a summer sun in the chilly November days. What was she to her? A friend? Her best friend? Or was she going in circles around someone that might not even have the same orientation as her.

She knew she liked girls when she hit puberty. Boys weren’t her thing at all and she kept it quiet. Life went on and she figured it was something she’ll leave to when she was in college or something. No one tickled her fancy until she realized what she was hoping for was right in front of her all along. Barbara Dunkelman, her best friend since kindergarten and despite her theatre classes and cheerleading, they found harmony in the opposite sides of the social spectrum. Prettiest girl in school and yet  she never looked twice at boys and studied harder than anyone else.

It made sense now but what if she was wrong? What if she used her first kiss on someone who would push her away and scream that she wasn’t into girls like that.

“Did you forget your gloves again?” Lindsay asked as Barbara shoved her hands in her coat pockets. It had snowed heavily during the day and by the evening there were nothing but flurries that collected their hair.

“Yeah, I left them in my sports bag in my locker,” Barbara admitted. Lindsay pulled her mittens off her hands and gave them her. “Thank you Linds.”

Lindsay’s hands were cold but it didn’t bother her because she would do anything for Barbara.

The banners were up in the cafeteria in Mid-January to announce the senior prom. Lindsay stuck her tongue her out at it.

“Do you think we’ll have prom dates?” Barbara asked as Lindsay worked on her script for her theatre class. Lindsay stopped for a moment to look up at her. Her hair was tied up in a bun and she was in a cozy sweater and jeans. Typical for a Saturday afternoon.

“I don’t know, I’m not counting on one,” Lindsay said before going back to erase a part she didn’t like.

“Aw no, you’ll have a date for sure,” Barbara assured her. The conversation was cut there.

As the snow melted, as everyone’s hearts. Valentine’s Day was a tease, with hearts and pinks. Boys confessing their love to the girls with cards and roses. Lindsay wanted to run and hide. She felt that her crush was invalid, that what she felt was only admiration for a long time friend and not love. Poems and love letters weren’t written for her crush but from the males to all the pretty girls in the school.

“Valentine’s Day roses are here!” Someone announced as the boy dressed up as cupid walked into her math class. She kept her head done as she was interested more by the calculations on her graph paper than what was happening in front of the class.

“One for Lindsay Tuggey!” Cupid announced and handed her the single rose. The note said only her name and no sender. She kept it at the corner of her desk but it mocked her. She shoved it in her locker and out of her sight.

“Barbara!” She shouted as she saw her friend down the hall. She waved and stopped to say hi. Lindsay noticed she was carrying three roses. “What are those?”

Barbara looked over to the cards. “Gavin and two mystery people. Not that they matter much.” She ripped off the card from one of the roses and presented it to her. “Here. From me to you.”

Lindsay blushed as she took the rose in her hands and felt the petals between her fingers.

“Thanks, I got one from a mystery sender too,” she confessed.

“Aw, that’s cute, but mine is better,” Barbara smiled, clutching her books tighter. “I gotta get to my French class. I’ll see you at practice,” she said before going off down the hall.

The roses were placed in a vase that she found in her attic.

“I’m so stupid sometimes,” she mumbled as she stared at them from her bed.

They had two months left before graduation and Lindsay quietly listening to the rain outside the gymnasium. Barbara looked exhausted as she tried to cartwheel in sync with her teammates.

“You okay? You looked kinda clumsy,” Lindsay asked as she helped Barbara pack her sports bag.

“Yeah, just haven’t been feeling it lately, I don’t think I can last until regionals,” she told her as she zipped up her sweater

“I’m sure, you’ll do fine,” Lindsay reassured as she rubbed her back.

Maybe Barbara was being a little more touchy lately, or it was her desperation to say something. Maybe she only imagined that Barbara never looked at the boys who came up to her. Maybe her eyes were playing tricks on her because her mind was. She almost reached out to hold her hand as they walked home one Friday and could’ve sworn that Barbara’s hand brushed against hers.

“Will you be up in the stands?” Barbara asked as she prepared for their first spring outdoor performance at the home football team. Lindsay was putting up her blonde hair into a comfortable bun.

“Of course I will, like I’ve always been,” she reassured her as Barbara tried to shake off the nerves. It was chilly and Lindsay handed her a pair of mittens she could wear while she cheered.

“Thank you, so much.”

It was her time, to shine and Lindsay walked with her to the exit.

“Hey Barbara,” she said as she took her arm. Barbara looked at her with big blue eyes that made her knees weak. She swallowed all the courage she had. “I love you.”

Barbara’s mouth opened to reply but her teammate pulled her away to catch up onto the field. Lindsay felt a rush of relief but she had to wait the entire game for a response. She made her way up to the stands and found a place near the steps. It wasn’t very crowded but their school’s games never were. She pulled her sleeves over her hands to shield from the cold.

Half-time came and their cheerleading squad came up to cheer on their team against the other team. They pulled Barbara up on their hands but something didn’t feel right to Lindsay and as they threw her up to spin,she raised from her seat as Barbara hit the ground. She ran down the steps as she heard the girls call their coach for help. She ran on the grass and snaked through the other girls to reach Barbara.

“Are you alright Barbs?” she asked as Barbara’s face was full of tears as she held up her knee.

“Lindsay, I think I broke my knee,” she sniffled. Lindsay shushed her as the other cheerleaders let Lindsay try to calm her down until the ambulance arrived. Lindsay was allowed to go with her to the hospital.

“Cast and all?” Lindsay asked as she entered the room.

“Oh yeah,” Barbara tried to be optimistic through the morphine.

“That royally sucks,” Lindsay said as she pulled a chair close to the bed. Barbara’s hair was free from her bun and her uniform was replaced by hospital clothes.

“I love you too by the way,” Barbara smiled. Lindsay’s heart was beating so hard that she was glad she was in a hospital. Barbara took Lindsay’s hand in hers. “I wanted to yell it to you on top of the pyramid but, I slipped.” Lindsay held her hand tighter as she leaned over to kiss the side of her head. “I wanted to show you like in those movies you really like to watch.”

“Shh, shh, it’s okay, your parents are on their way,” she smiled as she began to pet Barbara’s shoulder to calm her down.