Hi! Would you happen to know of a list of like. Subjects that players can mark as uncomfortable or what not? Me and some others were playing over discord, and something happened really quickly at the end of the session that myself and another were very uncomfortable with, and it wasnt asked about in advance. But when I asked the dm, he said he couldn't for shock factor and improv. Do you know how to deal with this to keep this from happening in the future?
first of all, your dm is just completely wrong. making your players really uncomfortable is not worth whatever “amazing” story you have planned. especially if the topic is potentially triggering. so i’m really disappointed to hear his response to you bringing up your discomfort.
fortunately, the good news is, there is a wealth of resources and tools out there to help facilitate safer playing in TTRPGs. Kienna S. on Twitter has created the TTRPG safety toolkit, available here on Google Drive for all.
Then there is the concept of lines and veils, which is most useful when implemented by the GM and players before a campaign begins. there is also the X card developed by John Stavropoulos, which is basically a “safe word” you can use at any time and a scene can be skipped, no questions asked. the x card can be implemented at any time during a campaign, even if it’s already begun. finally, there’s the RPG consent checklist that everyone can fill out (especially the players) before starting a campaign, to help the GM gauge what topics are OK, what topics should be dealt with carefully, and what topics to avoid entirely. this checklist provides a pretty exhaustive list of potential common triggers and may be useful to you.
the biggest takeaway from these resources, i think, is the mutual understanding and respect between the GM and players. it is the GM’s responsibility to be careful, respectful, and responsible with how they introduce potentially sensitive and triggering topics. and it is the players’ responsibility to inform the GM when an unspoken or unknown boundary is crossed.
it’s one thing for a trigger to be something less common, like snakes or earthquakes, and for these subjects to appear in play. in that case, there could be good faith at play on the behalf of the GM, and a quick discussion and/or implementation of safety tools should ensure those topics don’t appear again. it’s quite another thing for something like, say, sexual assault, torture of children, or suicide to appear in-game unprompted. these topics are more commonly triggers and i believe that unless otherwise stated, should be altogether avoided or “faded-to-black” by GMs.
implementing one or multiple of these safety measures as a group is a critical measure to help facilitate a safer, kinder, and more creative environment at any table. i strongly encourage you to bring this up with the rest of the players and your GM. if your GM shuts down this very reasonable request for better safety tools in play, that’s a HUGE red flag, and i honestly recommend that you consider leaving for your own well-being. a GM that doesn’t care about the safety of their players is a shitty GM.
