#ttpd discertation

(very proud of this, and my own personal thoughts. please be nice 😊)

in order to really absorb and feel this album you have to break it down into the many different layers that is Taylor Swift. In many ways Swift captures what can be called the human crisis. We as people have the full range of emotions from happy to sad. however Swifts writing on The Tortured Poets Department hits all the areas of grey in her life. Ranging from working in the music industry, her personal life, and her love life.

The music industry has never been a kind place. She entered this realm when she was just a kid and has grown up in this awful system made for her to “expire”. We all know Swift as an international singer with millions of fans. However Swift can’t help but think that it’s all fleeting. She’s angry, she’s paranoid and downright terrifying when she sings the words “so tell me everything is not about me… but what if it is? Then say they didn’t do it to hurt me… but what if they did? i want to snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me. you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.” Taylor emphasizes just how horrifying being raised in this industry is. She later confirms this with the lyrics from Clara Bow stating “Take the glory, give everything. Promise to be Dazzling”. Taylor is fully aware that she has made a mark on the music industry, and by some records knows that she is currently at the top of her game. But while all of her fans are showing up to these gigantic concerts and screaming “MORE!” she continues to “fake it till she makes it”. None of us had a clue that she was doing this all while dying inside. (I can do it with a broken heart.)

there was an industry before Taylor, During Taylor and inevitably there will be an industry after Taylor. One human can’t do it all without cracking and Swift has shown us that.

In TTPD her personal life and love life become intertwined. We know Swift was in a 6 year long relationship with Joe Alwyn and a “situationship” with Matty Healy. Many people have been surprised that Matty had so much “playtime” on this album potentially dedicated to him. After listening through once this is written from the perspective of someone who felt rejected by one person right after another. it’s not a “i’m going to kill myself if HE leaves” it’s a “i can’t lose another person again because of the industry i’ve built.” I’m very obviously not Taylor Swift so i can’t say if that’s truly what was going through her mind. The album starts out with Matty and then continues into more “Joe” based songs with “So long London”. This then continues into the song “Fresh Out the Slammer” where there’s a hint of Matty but referencing back to Joe saying she has “done her time”. She references a park and sitting on children’s swings with this person she has just called after a long relationship break up. the line “wearing imaginary rings” shows that even though she’s HERE with this person she’s thinking about Joe.

After Matty and Taylor call it off there’s a decent in the lyrics. (Most songs after Whos afraid of Little Old Me?) She becomes reflective of her time with Joe and how he has left her alone and it really becomes an issue as we can see from the song “I Can Do it with a Broken Heart” because even though this happened shes “in the prime of her life” however it’s very clear that swift feels far from that. She’s realizing that everything is coming to a head. her love life and her career. Where are you supposed to go after the Eras tour? Who are you supposed to turn to when you’ve been left to pick up the pieces of not just one but two people leaving? She very clearly questions the whole probability of her ever finding a love again that will stay because they want to. (imgonnagetyouback & The Black Dog) She reverts back to the possibility that a lot of people hate her (The Albatross & Cassandra) and even calls out the ones who publicly do (thanK you aIMee)

This quickly morphs into questioning her choices in life. where it suddenly feels like she’s not in control anymore. (i hate it here, i look through peoples windows, How did it end?) She knows that the people she loves don’t stay in the picture and from her perspective it’s because of the industry itself or the fact that she has always loved them more than they loved her (Peter)

In Swifts mind, everything goes back to her childhood and how she was born that way (The Bolter & The Prophecy) which i do believe gives her a sense of security and reasoning even if she doesn’t love the outcome.

We then have her songs about Travis (So Highschool & The Alchemy) these songs are hesitant and they should be after everything Taylor has endured the past 3-5 years. She likes him and knows there’s something there but wonders “are you going to marry, kiss, or kill me” and is “betting on all three”.

Finally, It was a stroke of genius to end with “The Manuscript”. I truly believe this song is how she views her life. Girl meets boy and they hit it off. They date and then end things. She then writes a song, directs a short film, whatever Miss Swift has done for us viewers over the years. But the truth is, she hates it. It’s what she loves to do in the moment but the moment we as viewers and listeners are shared with it, it becomes ours and we twist it how we want to see it. She ends with the line “Now and then i reread the manuscript. But the story isn’t mine anymore”. This speaks volumes to what being a creator of music means. Now that we have TTPD it’s not hers anymore, and hopefully she can finally begin the healing process.