#ts posting

Some polls were so incredibly close during round two, so I thought we needed another REDEMPTION MATCHUP! The winner will return to the tournament. Be sure to follow tsredcarpetmadness for all upcoming polls!

I really appreciate all reblogs! It helps get a bigger sample size for each poll & always keeps things more exciting 🫶🏼

2014, 48:41, standouts: clean, i know places, new romantics

in 2014 i experienced what was, at the time, the worst year of my entire life. my mom died, my dad moved my now stepmom into our home weeks after that, i was 19 years old and very directionless but i had one bright spot that kept me going.

ryan.

we met playing world of warcraft in november 2013. our friendship developed quickly and we spent an inordinate amount of time together, exchanging numbers and snapchats finally in january. i was giddy because i liked him so much and those feelings grew until they felt like hunger for months. like was no longer like it became capital L love.

ryan, despite his terrible commitment issues, general lack of emotional availability, mental health issues i wanted to desperately fix despite him never asking that of me, tried. he tried to be there for me but he had his own flaws and issues too, something a younger version of me didn’t understand at the time.

now we weren’t ever officially together. we decided not to define the relationship out of comfort for both of us but as far as i was concerned, he was my boyfriend. i treated him as such and there were a lot of times where i felt like i was his girlfriend in return. the year passed, summer came and went, and fall finally was cast upon the world like a spell.

on october 27, 2014 the album 1989 was released. on october 29, 2014 my heart was so broken i felt i’d never recover.

ryan told me we needed to cool things down because he met a girl in person he liked and wanted to try things with her.

now as a 28 year old woman with a plethora of life experience i can tell you what i was feeling was heartbreak, of course, because i cared about this man. loved him, even. but above all what i was feeling was the insurmountable grief of the year that had nearly fully passed by. everything i refused to acknowledge felt like a wall to scale and so this album became a reprieve for me.