#truthfulfool

The Dojima house feels cold without Nanako’s presence. Maybe that’s why Adachi’s been taking it upon himself to stay over more often than not - like his presence should make any difference at all. Really, that should make the house feel colder.

They’re all worn thin. Maybe just having the extra body around helps. Nanako should be out of the hospital soon, that’s what the doctors keep saying (and Adachi knows this, he’s heard it a million times because he’s been at the hospital twice a week since November, sometimes with Dojima, sometimes stealing off by himself), but it’s getting harder to believe them as the harsh winter slips away.

It’s worry, probably, that’s plaguing everyone else, but guilt is what keeps Adachi up at night.

He stays up late-late, until the only interesting thing playing on the TV is a rerun of the evening weather forecast, and sits in the dark living room rolling an empty beer can between his hands until he hears footsteps descending the stairs. It’s easy to pick them out, with the TV volume set low in an act of kindness towards a probably sleeping Dojima. The flickering screen is the only light in the room, and Adachi squints in the direction of the stairs, then huffs and leans back against the couch when, yes, it turns out to be Seta rather than Dojima.

“You’re the worst partner. Social link canceled.”

“Ahaha, it’s too late for that. I’ve even got this to prove it, see?”

“Kiss my ass, Adachi-san.”

He doesn’t know why he puts it on. Maybe it’s the heft of the fabric, the weight of the pleats in his hands, or maybe Adachi’s always wanted to wear Souji’s skin for a few moments, crawl inside him and feel what it’s like to be the golden boy, beloved and relied on.

Adachi is drunk. That’s why he puts it on, and yes he holds the regular uniform in his hands long enough to consider it, but there’s something darkly funny about reaching for the long skirt and girls’ jacket instead. That’s mine, he thinks, and it makes sense through the haze of fog and liquor. It’s a sick sense of ownership, but at least he knows how fucked up this looks. 

Just doing my job.