#truebeats

five times smiled / accepting

ONE. jarrod is fourteen, and he’s got no qualifications as a babysitter - except, perhaps, the fact that he was once a baby. but this kid’s mom offered to pay him ( REAL MONEY! ) and jarrod couldn’t possibly refuse. so he makes it his mission to make this kid his friend, even if they don’t really seem to have anything in common. when he shows up to the apartment next to his with an old chess set and a gameboy, the kid is behind his mom’s leg, which throws jarrod off a bit, because he can’t really remember being that small. like, ever. but that’s fine. his mom introduces the kid as theo, and jarrod crouches a little, sticking his hand out with a quieter-than-usual “hey, man”. when theo takes his hand, jarrod shakes it ( maybe a bit too roughly ), and he can feel himself beginning to grin - maybe babysitting won’t be half bad.

TWO. the lights on his face are OVERWHELMING. he’s been in the hospital often, considering he’s an accident magnet, but the ACCIDENTS have never been so completely tragic - at least as far as he can remember. he’s barely nineteen, and kenny is w a s about to be the same. ( shit, his birthday was so s o o n. ) before he can break down again, there’s a knock on the door - specifically patterned, just like he and tink had practiced - and he draws in a deep breath, preparing himself for questions, or updates, or whatever tink might be here to tell him. but, upon letting tink in, that never comes. he just sits at his bedside, and takes his hand ( which jarrod can’t feel, but he would never tell tink that ). the only thanks that jarrod can muster is a soft smile and an attempt at squeezing tink’s hand back, but he thinks it’s enough.

THREE. they’re all aware that there are bits and pieces of their past that didn’t really stick after the explosion. some are missing more than others, but it’s really just a grab bag of what you will and won’t remember. jag, for example, doesn’t remember where his dad lives. or his birthday. and he knows that tink doesn’t remember that they were basically brothers, which, to be fair, isn’t that big of a deal when he considers how much everyone else has LOST, but it still hurts. however, the first time his “tink! bro!” is returned with an almost equally as excited “bro!”, jag grins. it almost feels like they can just be kids again.

FOUR. jag can’t believe it when zahara tells him that tink is going to be alright. poor kid has had enough tragedy in his life, and when falco SHOT him, jag thought that was it. he couldn’t imagine losing his brother that soon - even spending over twenty-five years with him wouldn’t have been enough. so, when jag crouches at the side of tink’s mattress, taking his hand like tink had done so many years ago, he’s still a little scared. scared of losing his one connection to the past, scared of having another kenny, scared of being stuck with memories and photographs instead of the real thing. interrupting his thoughts, though, is a weak squeeze against his hand, and jag gasps out a sob, smiling for the first time in days. “welcome back, buddy.”

          FIVE  TIMES  SMILED.   /    NO  LONGER  ACCEPTING !   /   @truebeats

        NUMBER  ONE.     according  to  the  date  in  her  diary,   it  is   SEPTEMBER  18TH.   the  lost  never  fail  to   INTEREST   her.   even  when  they  sing  the   same  songs   and  dance  the   same  dances,   raven  takes  a  seat  at  her  window,  utterly   ENTHRALLED   by  their  every  move.   her  doe -  like  eyes  scan  the  concrete  far  below,   and  amidst  everything  she’s  seen  before  is  something  that  makes  her  heart   jump.    there’s  a   BOY   down  there,  and  he’s  waving  up,  he’s   waving   at   HER.   raven  quickly  returns  the  action  before  pressing  her  back  against  her  wall,  chest   heaving.   from  there,  she   flops   onto  her  bed,  diary  open  and  jaw   SLACK.

       NUMBER  TWO.     she’s  been  sat  in  front  of  her  vanity  for  about   TWO  hours  now.   her  hair  is  down,  makeup  sub  -  par,   (  she  can  never  get  that  left  eyeliner   WING   to  work.  )   and  chest  tight  with  the  anxiety  of  yet  another  first.   raven   can’t   quite  believe  her  mother  has  managed  to  sneak  her  a   LOST  BOY,   and  when  she  is  first  faced  with  the  figure  who  has  been  only  a    wave    until  now,   her  breath  hitches  in  her  throat.    she  is  still   CAGED   here.   like  a  spooked  animal,  raven   hesitantly   steps  closer,  hands  wringing,  eyes  wide,  and  lips   slowly   curling  upward  once  she realizes  how   handsome   he  is.

   NUMBER  THREE.     the  amount  of  time  between  them  nearly  brings  her  to   TEARS   when  she  first  sees  him  again.   raven  squeezes   STRAT’S   hand  before  leaping  off  the  rock  where  they  sit,  stumbling  towards  the  tunnel  where  the   disheveled   lost  have  emerged.  they  are  all   BEWILDERED  at  the  sight  of  their  leader,  (  her   BOYFRIEND.  )   but  she  doesn’t  have  time  to  notice,  as  she  is  too  busy  throwing  her  arms  around  gibson.    its  been  a  cold  and  lonely  two  months.   raven  smiles  into  his  chest,  unaware  of  the   frown   he  wears,  or  the  way  strat’s  eyes  burn  into  the  back  of  her  head.

     NUMBER  FOUR.     “ you’re  beautiful  in  every  shade  of  light. “    he  told  her  earlier  during  their  walk.   she’s  been  thinking  about  that  statement  and  her  rather  averse  reaction  to  it  all  evening.   she’s  wronged  him.   she  knows  she  has.    raven  has  spent  her  first  half  hour  at  the  museum  wondering  why  on  earth  he’d  risk  so  much  for  her.   amidst  her  grief  and  his  talk  of  dinosaurs  (  the museum  had  a  whole  T  - REX.  )   he  flashes  her  an  off  -  hand  grin.   it’s  slightly  lopsided   -   and  enough  to  make  her  smile  back   -   making  up  for   LOST   time.    she  should  have  been  grinning  an  hour  ago.

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       HOW RAVEN SEES YOUR MUSE.  /  SELECTIVELY  ACCEPTING.  /  @truebeats

     THERE  ARE  TWO  WORDS    that  come  to  mind  when  you  think  of  tink.   the  first  is   small.    this  is  isn’t  because  of  his   age   or  his  heart,  but  because  he  is  one  of  the   ONLY  people  shorter  than  you,  and  you  have  to   embrace   that.   the  second  is   mighty.  tink  has  the  strongest  will,  the  most   LOYAL   bite  of  anyone  you’ve ever met.   if  necessary,  you  will  remind  him  of  how   BRAVE  he  is  every  single  day.  just  in  case  he  forgets.

      YOU  ASSOCIATE  HIM  WITH    all  things  green.   this  is  because  his  signature  mohawk  can  be  seen  from  a  mile  away,  but  also  because  green  is  a  color  you  haven’t  truly   appreciated   until  now.   (  life,  for  you,  has  always  been  BLACK.   black,  with  a   splash  of  pink.  )  you  associate  him  with  rebirth   -   with   SECOND  CHANCES.    he  has  been  bitter  towards  you,  even  intimidating,  but  not  without  reason  you  can  forgive.    and  you  do.    you   forgive   him  in  the  blink  of  an  eye.    

     HE  HAS  BECOME  FAMILY    to  you.   if  your  parents  had  approached  you  with  the  notion  of  a  younger  sibling  before,  a  fit  would  have  been  thrown,  but  tink  is  someone  you  can  find   EXCEPTIONS   for.   he  is  someone  you  can   relate   to  in  very   HARSH   ways,   and  someone  you  want  to  protect,  even  if  he  can   clearly  protect  himself.   at  least  he  can’t  stop  you  from    appreciating    him   and  all  he’s  done.   after  all,  no  one  makes  you  laugh   quite  like  he  does,  his  humor  dry  and  occasionally  oblivious.    

jag had vowed earlier in the day that when he got back from his tutoring session, he would definitely teach tink how to throw and catch a football. he had been stuck at tutoring for a little longer than he expected, because, damn it, calculus is hard as shit, and he still doesn't understand limits or how to find the derivative of sin(x). ( he's actually still kind of mad that some asshole decided to put letters in math in the first place. ) despite his calculus-related frustration, though, he knows that seeing tink always puts him in a good mood, even if he’s not all that excited to learn how to play football. he’s been dragging a slightly reluctant tink through fundamentals for a good half-hour now.

jag can tell by the look on tink's face that the poor kid is starting to get a little disheartened that the dog ( who jag would insist was named puppy, despite tink's insistence on calling him max. ) can catch the football better than him, but jag just continues to reassure him that "it's just because i've got a great arm on me, man, nothing more." and then he would punch tink in the arm, and then he would apologize, because he tends to forget that that "great arm" punches really hard.

so, to get tink’s spirits up, he vehemently insists on teaching tink how to tackle. of course, tink throwing his entire body weight directly into jag's whole body is completely unexpected, and definitely catches jag at least a l i t t l e off guard. it's less of a tackle, though - it’s really more of a "tink jumping on him and clinging to his front like a koala" sort of thing, but jag still falls onto his back a little bit too dramatically, grinning up at tink like a proud parent, only a little breathless from all of the running he's been doing. for a kid with such short legs, tink's faster than he looks.