#troll dicks

So, the other week thepurritowarden and I decided to finally go to bed at 5:30 in the fucking morning, and as we lay there talking, she asked me if I'd rather have Dave or Gamzee if they were real. I asked if I could have both, and she said no. I then made the comment that if that was the case, I'd rather have all six of them (Kurloz, Gamzee, AlphaBro, Bro, Dirk, and Dave) which immediately turned into a conversation carefully centered around how that would work (with all of them at once) in a sexual situation. 

This is not the first troll dick conversation I've had.

I did, however, almost die of asphyxiation because I couldn't stop laughing at the things she and I said. 

It was totally fucking worth it.

I'm totally normal!

Chase: LAUGHS

Chase: THEY GO DOWN TO LIKE THEIR ANKLES

me: dude i was at camp once and there was an aroused house

me: dms;gkmdls

me: *horse

Chase: iedcfle

me: an aroused house

me: oh my god

me: i guess thats what a for sale sign means

me: it wants u INSIDE IT AHAHAHAHA

Chase: hmwdcvc

Chase: cOME IN ME

The other day I was thinking about Homestuck trolls and their secondary sexual characteristics and ended with the idea that Gamzee is just a flat female. Possibly the equivalent of an androgen in a society where gender really isn't a thing.

and I have no idea how I really got there.

The only thing that differentiates girls from boys in the Alterian society, as far as I can tell, is the way their bodies are shaped. The conclusion seems to be that neither gender gestates the young, and both genders have bulges, it's just that one has breasts which is completely useless since they hatch into grubs who don't eat any differently.  They don't have puberty just a slow grow to a full size and adult responsibilities.

so. Yes