#trohphy

TROHPHY       »       ❝   You're   just   so   cool   .   ❞      [  ASK  /   ACCEPTING  ]

❝   You've   got   to   be   kidding   .   ❞

Soft   brown   eyes   roll   back   in   mock   annoyance   ,   only   playful   ,   only   teasing   .   Between   the   quilt   wrapped   tightly   around   her   shoulders   and   the   alcohol   induced   buzz   ,   Joyce   was   feeling   pleasantly   light   ,   the   sanctuary   of   Karen's   bedroom   making   her   feel   warm   from   the   inside   out   .   She   dabs   at   the   corner   of   her   mouth   ,   lipstick   smear   staining   her   fingertips   crimson   ,   and   it's   enough   to   catch   her   attention   ,   to   allow   her   the   time   and   space   to   stare   for   a   moment   ,   thoughts   catching   up   to   her   at   rapid   speed   .

“i’ve been alone for so long, i’m afraid i forgot what it was like not to be.”

A BEAT, A SILENCE THAT FALLS UPON HER SHOULDERS.   it    feels    late,    it    feels    almost    impossible.    and    worse    things    have    been    avoidied,    worst    things    have    happened    in    the    trainwreck,    joyce    byers    carries    on.    she    carries    on    and    people    forget    and    leave    her    and    it    doesn’t    matter.    PEOPLE ARE LOST OVER AND OVER AGAIN.     and    she’s    learned    this.    through    and    true.    didn’t    matter    who.    IT FEELS AS IF SHE’S MILES AWAY   touch    so    far.    pain    so    present.    

joyce    feels    sorry,    even    though    anyone    else    in    her    position    would    be    furious,    would    argue    that    karen    deserves    to    feel    lonely,    lonely    like    joyce    has    felt    ever    since.    ever    since    she    left.    but    there    is    no    trace    of    anger    left    in    joyce,    there    only    a    nebulous    heavy    fog    of    exahuastion    consuming    her.    no    energy    but    all    the    fight.    and    it’s    then    when    joyce    uncrosses    her    arms,    hand    moves    to    craddle    the    other’s    face,    gently,    like    she’s    not    allowed    to    touch,    because    she    isn’t,    she    has    never    been    allowed.    she    won’t.    warm    honey    brown    eyes    filled    to    the    brim    with    compassion,    with    love,    with    yearning.    with    everything    that’s    been    hidden    so    deep    within    her,    so,    so.    she    smiles,    warmer,    rays    of    sunshine    pour    out    of    her    expression.    “    karen-    ”    i    love    you,    i’ve    never    stopped    loving    you,    feels    like    a    secret    kept    hidden    behind    lips,    tongue    twisted.    not    allowed.    “    -you’ve    never    been    alone,    you    got    me,    right    here...i    mean    it.    ”

“ you ‘ ll be smart to keep your FUCKING mouth shut if you know what ‘ s good for you. “

rage seeps into the man of iron ‘ s voice. why would such an opinion bother her ? and why should it sour her ? her eyes scrutinize with a frigid shade so white - blue they burn , burn hotter than any fire she ‘ s ever touched. mechanical fingers whirr and clench in and then crush — shatter a glass in her prosthetic grip. there is anger the likes of which she has contained with great care. this anger trickles between the cracks. her eyes are bloodshot and she smells of nothing but scotch and the broken shards of her own failure. it , too , cuts deep.

“ karen deserves the whole godDAMN world and if you have the nerve to combat me on that opinion you ‘ ll find yourself on the wrong side of a repulsor glove. i take calculated risks. i would not have brought her on had i not been sure weighing it she wouldn’t be a risk or a liability. otherwise ? it ‘ s none of your FUCKING business. “

scotch , fifty years , permeates from the carpet and slicks her mechanical fingers an amber. she doesn ‘ t care.