#troe2017

[images: The first two images depict my transgender rite of elevation altar from 2017 on day 1 and then again on day 9. The first night altar includes a small cup of water, two battery powered candles, a blue aragonite crystal, a rose quartz crystal, and a large amethyst crystal all surrounded by smaller clear quartz. A testosterone bottle sits at the center. The ninth night altar includes water, the crystals, a small sculpture of a pair of outstretched hands holding tiny clear and amethyst beads, a hand made clay pendulum, and the battery powered candles, all on top of a blue box that I use to hold my testosterone supplies. Below the box on the table are more crystals, the testosterone bottle, a makeup pencil, an earring, a heart button, and a “trans rights are human rights” button. Below those two pictures are pictures of my altar today. On a shelf, a rainbow boa borders the altar on three sides. The same water glass is present, now draped with a set of small prayer beads made of blue lace agate, fresh water pearl, and a pink tassel. On either side sit large ceramic figures of dfab and dmab bodies, with cur outs in their chests to reveal various items like mirror shards, glass gems, jewelry, dried flowers, and bells. A tarot deck sits on the left, and a pocket knife on the right. Three unlit tealights surround the water, as well as the pendulum, hands holding gems, and buttons, with the addition of a large trans flag button at the center.]

My Transgender Ancestor Altar Space

this year i participated in the transgender rite of elevation for the first time. Shortly before learning about the rite, I was given advice from tarot to seek out my family connections, and know my roots better. I have a very poor understanding of my family history, and I felt that perhaps that wasnt exactly what I was being asked to do anyway, so i waited. Then i happened upon a post about the rite and knew immediately this is what I was meant to do.

I was living at a temporary residence but i decided that i wasnt going to let that stop me from completing the ritual for all nine nights. I had very little supplies and not a lot to offer, but i designated time and space, and participated in divination and meditation. All nine nights i journaled a new focus for the night, spoke aloud prayers to the ancestors, raised the altar, and participated in divination. On the last night I attended an event, and a small altar had been set up there for people to leave offerings. I had a blue lace agate crystal, that I had felt strongly had to stay in my pocket for the previous couple days, and knew that was the offering i was meant to give. It wasnt expensive or extravagant, but meaningful and precious in a way. I went home, did the ritual for the last time, and ended the rite.

The experience was very rewarding, and so I have decided to keep a permanent space on my altar bookshelf so I can continue to pay my respects and communicate with my ancestors year round. I managed to acquire some blue lace agate beads to make a set of small prayer beads from to help me focus during mediation and prayer, and I have since been able to adorn the altar with trans-centric statuary and other odds and ends. 

I am a trans/nonbinary tarot and oracle reader, and I am about to present a workshop about gender inclusivity in tarot at a local tarot/metaphysical shop. It is scary to put myself out there and not know what kind of people will come and how well the information will be received. But every time I practice my craft at home, or practice for that workshop, I think of all the incredible trans people who came before me and all of the work they did so I could be where I am today. And I know theyre looking to me knowing that I will do great things for those who come after me.

My first year doing the Transgender Rite of Ancestor Elevation.  I constructed this altar in my kitchen, using a brand new tea towel.  I made these decisions out of necessity, but it’s informed the intent of my ritual: may the honored transgender dead find a peaceful and welcoming home on the other side.

“the rites for Cousin Vit”

by Gwendolyn Brooks

It’s been quite a year. Your friendly mods are a little… overwhelmed. With TDOR constraints, family of origin holiday obligations, and changes in employment all in the last week, we’ve just gotten around to doing some post-rite divination with our honored Ancestor Helping Spirits, Marsha, Sylvia, and Leslie, as well as with Agdistis (who is a part of our practice).

We asked the Helping Spirits if they thought the rite had been a success, if they had gotten what they wanted or needed from the offerings that we made to them, and they all said yes – that they received their offerings and were satisfied with them. Marsha confirmed that the rite did what it was intending to do this year, and Sylvia said, “Success!”

We also asked them all if there was anything further that they needed or wanted from us at this point and they all offered encouragement at varying levels of gentleness.

Sylvia told us: “Sow future abundance – reap success. Heal.” Leslie said, “Success, but work continues. Courage,” and Marsha said, “Abundance. Joy. Dancing.”

When we asked if there were any final messages, Sylvia offered “Joy,” Leslie instructed, “Take a break,” and Marsha closed us out by spelling out “P-I-N-M.”

We also did a reading with the Tarot of the Silicon Dawn (created by Egypt Urnash) which offered an abundance of advice to expand on Leslie’s adjuration that the work continues and courage is needed.  

The tarot identified that we are feeling literally and spiritually outgunned, and that there is love that we know we should be able to feel that’s difficult to access, in part because we are let down by those we thought we could rely on. This really maps with what some of us have been feeling this year about the work of allies – specifically the way that cis people show up, or don’t show up, at trans day of remembrance actions.

The reading identified some tools that could improve the work for next year, grant us an infusion of energy and better infrastructure and communication. We are trying to wrap ourselves around a pain that is too gargantuan to even begin to take a bite out of. There are too many names to even read aloud every night, and even reading the names alone is dehumanizing in the same way that our family is already dehumanized by this world.

To really engage with and heal the pain and grief of our dead, we must connect with them personally, as humans, as individuals that we personally care for. It’s difficult to do this, working in such a tiny group and trying to access it for all of them at once. 

We need to keep working on spreading out this responsibility that we have taken on to be designated mourners, to humanize our fallen in any way that we can. This responsibility can only be functionally shouldered if it is shared, so we need to find ways to effectively share the load, individually celebrate the lives and mourn the deaths of our fallen as individuals, not as a faceless set of syllables, but as a person that we wish we could have met. What music did they like? What did they do in their spare time? What did they look like when they were laughing? We cannot fight dehumanization with dehumanization – we must engage with them as people. This will let us open ourselves to one-on-one connection, which will let us mourn them, which will let us process their trauma for them as we have promised to do.

Between now and next year, our sources confirm, they want us to find joy, to dance, to love, to take a break. 

Courage, comrades. The work continues.

Elevation, night one. The photos are of my altar, before and after.

Clockwise from the top left, there are offering dishes with things like almonds and candy (I’ll be adding to the candy as the rite progresses); a candle in a silver holder and a gold-rimmed glass of water on top of a white bandana with a sigil drawn on it in gold; a vase of white flowers still mostly unopened; a jar candle with sharpie designs on it; a brass incense burner; a jar of glitter and ash covered with rhinestones and surrounded by quartz points; five pages of handwritten names from every year trans deaths have been officially recorded; a syringe and two empty hormone jars; and a pocketknife.

I played River of Sorrow and offered three prayers: the standard ritual prayer, Prayer to the Mothers, and Still I Rise.

I burned frankincense, rosemary, and some Cavendish tobacco on charcoal.

Off to a solid start.

[Image description (animated gif made up of five similar stills): tall stack of books covered with a white bandana, decorated with gold sharpie. On top are a candle and a cup of water. Clockwise, it is surrounded by a vase of white flowers, a 7-day candle, various jars and stones, a paper with names written on it, a pocket knife, medication bottles and a syringe, a small candle, and bowls containing almonds, tobacco, and candy.]

Night six, remotely co-ritualed with Rocket over the phone. Poetry, candy, candles. Sadness, grief, defiance, celebration, hope. Love.

Onward.