#trigger stacking

Spot that “GO AWAY” body language!

T2 wants to show off his ball to his sister. He does this loads - he will run up in a springing loping fashion, barking and looping around her. He does this multiple times a day every day and usually she just ignores. 

Today T1 is:

Ears back on the approach. 

As he circles her bouncing and barking, she is turning and walking away.

Hackling along back and tail. 

She is staring hard at him

Walking stiffly but away from him

There is growling

T2 realised about the same time as I did that she wasn’t in the mood, and backed off.

Why is T1 suddenly hackling and growling? 

Trigger stacking: 

About 4 hours ago she was near two dog fights (no dogs were harmed). 

About 3 hours ago a stranger dropped a bag of food right behind her  :(

So she’s still feeling out of sorts. We’ll just continue to keep the rest of the day low-key and work on things side-by-side. 

-been… going through it w my partner. For at least a few weeks All of the conversations we’ve been having have been a) triggering for me and b) centered around whether we can stay together like this

-haven’t had meaningful conversations w anybody other than my partner and my mum for like two weeks now

-one question involved in those conversations, at least internally for me (my partner hasn’t expressed this at all) has been whether I only am interested in nonmonogamy because I’m a commitment-phobic asshole

-my mum, whom I love deeply and also who knows about the nonmonogamy, made several judgmental/contemptful comments about nonmonogamy along the lines of ‘you’d only want to do that if you’re fucked up/this is why nonmonogamous relationships can’t work’

-spent 48 hours traveling in the woods w my partner and like it was a lovely trip in many ways and also didn’t help the ‘all of our conversations are triggering and I feel claustrophobic in my brain bc I haven’t been able to talk to literally anybody else about literally anything for at least a week’

-one of my two boys has been inaccessible and like it’s v fine that he has been and I know why and it’s not his fault and also my boys are partners and the other has been accessible and there’s something stressful abt one of them being inaccessible and knowing it’s in part bc they’re spending a lot of intense time with each other (and other people!)

-have been trying extremely hard to take a ton of care w my communication w both boys so that neither of them becomes a go-between for me and the other one

-was invited to dinner w both boys (and other ppl) by the accessible one which was good except that I was still unable to get in touch w the inaccessible one

-suddenly feeling like I have no choice but for the accessible one to be a go-between for the other one

anyway this is the point where I had a [meltdown?? cptsd panic?? ??????] and behaved. A way I don’t like. Probably a mostly fine way but a way I don’t like!!!

And am mad at myself for it and embarrassed by it!!! Like!!!!

And. Just have to move forward. I guess.

 "Trigger stacking" is a term that gets thrown around a lot in the dog training world. All dogs have triggers, or things which could lead to the demonstration of aggressive-looking behavior. However, sometimes they need to culminate with other things, or "stack", before the dog will try to bite. Most gentle and loving family pets could be driven to bite under the right circumstances, like if they were frightened or in pain. I think that it's entirely fair to say that trigger stacking happens in humans as well. That includes loving, reasonable humans who understand that it's both normal and acceptable to feel angry, but not to take anger out on those around them. Most people have certain things in common. For instance, we like to have our way, and become frustrated when that is beyond our control. The more things that get in our way, the shorter our fuse becomes. Dogs (and other living things) have the potential to cause extreme frustration because we cannot always control their behavior. Any stable person can reach a point of painful exasperation. In the case of dog owners, it could be the feeling when it's 2 AM, you're delusionally exhausted, and your puppy would rather sniff around in the yard than pee. Or when you are trying to send a work email on a deadline and can't get your dog to stop barking long enough to form a thought. If you find yourself feeling short tempered and your dog's behavior (or perceived misbehavior) is added to your stack of triggers, it may become necessary to remind yourself of why that animal is not responsible for your mood. Before you yell at, drag, jerk or otherwise correct your dog for any reason, stop and remember the following:

1. Our dogs do not have any comprehension of what we perceive to be "good" or "bad" behavior. Barking, chewing, growling, and other problematic behaviors all serve functions that have allowed dogs to survive as a species and like it or not, they all exist for a reason. Attempts at punishing a behavior do not mean that a dog understands why it is being corrected.

2. All animals are a product of their environment, and some environments are more difficult to control than others. Behavior will not look perfect if circumstances prevent training protocols from being implemented properly. It is our responsibility to use our sophisticated human brains to problem-solve and think creatively in order to set dogs up to succeed.

3. Your dog only knows what he is taught. If you do not like his behavior, it is your job to change it. If you're complaining, you should be training. If your training isn't working, step back and try something different.