#trext

does anyone else?? feel a little pressured within the trans community TO be gender nonconforming and/or nonbinary? like ofc it depends on which side of the community you are on, but i guess my point is that everything gets to a point to where attempted positivity and diversity is pressuring to people? ofc its fine to appear cis, cis passing privilege exists and such, but like... when i initially realized i was trans i wanted to see a cis passing man in the mirror, that was the point of everything, but after being told over and over again that i have to have pride in being trans i kind of gave up on my goals since i felt i could be lazy. i called myself nb for a little while, even, taking some peoples real valid identity and turning it into a personal excuse for myself. im the kind of person that needs to be reminded of my goal bc if i have the carrot hanging in front of me ill do better, and ill get happier quicker.

i dont want to be neutral about myself, i want to like myself. remembering my original goals to feel compatible with my body has made me excited to eventually transition (with dysphoria ofc) but idk. i feel like i can take pride in my goals more remembering that i want to be cis passing. thats my goal. im so happy for people who wear trans on their sleeves but thats not me. im not prideful of it, im dysphoric.