SOOOO i’ve been terribly bad lately when it comes to getting packaged food and though we haven’t splurged on a concert or day trip in a while because we haven’t been able to, my stress has been up lately and made me give a few less shits about things that save resources and money. It seems lately, even before the holidays, that i’ve been going from one extreme to another. And even though the last few years I have avoided setting myself a rigid list of goals, and tried to change my approach to life a bit, I am going to give myself a couple goals on here to reinstate some old zero-waste type habits of mine.

THIS PLACE IS NOT A PLACE OF HONOR.

NO HIGHLY ESTEEMED DEAD IS COMMEMORATED HERE.

NOTHING IS VALUED HERE.

WHAT IS HERE IS DANGEROUS AND REPULSIVE TO US.

THIS MESSAGE IS A WARNING ABOUT DANGER.

Bushfire and Mental Health

I’ve been waiting for it. The mental health stuff. I’ve listened to the psychology experts and what happens after bushfires…

The need to talk incessantly about it - did that. (Although I am already prone to talking as most of you know!)

Show people pictures - did that. Some people wanted to see, some shied away, we couldnt help but ‘document’ our experience I guess.

Get angry about stuff - did that, actually stil doing that - about recovery being uncoordinatored and slow - we are still waiting to hear from the state contractor while around us, properties impacted one month after us have already been cleared.

Who recovers worst - the ones who leave. Well we’re still here.

Who recovers best - those with strong community connections. Our friends, our neighbours, our children’s school - have been and still are, there for us.

The 6 month mark is significant - 2 weeks away. Doesn’t feel that much different.

When the money comes in fractures occur in communities - yes I can’t deny I feel something when I hear blaze aid is fixing other people’s fences, when other communities get the attention and most of the donations. Overwhelmingly I feel like they deserve it, because having no notice and not even having a choice to evacuate and then only having the clothes you stand in is extreme. And there were many who were disadvantaged before the fires who are clearly far worse off now. But not everyone is in that situation and still others seem to benefit more. Or are they? It just messes with your head. Recently we’ve had some beautiful and unexpected donations - a voucher from Treading Lightly for plants was really special. Mr 8 suggested we split the $ and each chose one plant, we agreed. He chose indoor plants we are enjoying now, my husband and Mr 6 chose fruit trees for the orchard we’ve always planned at the block. I chose a beautiful fern to go in an anniversary gift pot - the pot survived the fire, the original plant did not. A few weeks ago we went to buy new trainers for Mr 6 at the local shoe shop, the lengthy decision process revealed our ‘situation’ to the shop staff and only then did we discover they had funds for a new pair of shoes for each of us since we’d lost our home. Wonderful and unexpected kindness.

We moved to our block to do our thing and I think our recovery will be the same. Although I’m starting to push a little and ask for help. The private and independent me has realised there is help out there and maybe asking for some is ok and it could make things faster, cheaper or smarter. Moving forward is not easy or quick. This I know from watching our neighbours who kept their house, but had to work through insurance inspections, claims, plans, orders, coordinating trades and finally installation of amenities. It’s arduous both mentally and logistically. We’re about to embark on that journey for just a shed, then we have to build a road and only after that can we even contemplate a house.