What Dad Clan do you belong in?
okay it has been requested that I make a post about my analysis of dad culture, in which I break down dadhood into five Dad Clans*. i will do my best to summarize the clans and explain which zodiac signs fall under each one.
Lawyer Dads - Aries, Scorpio, Aquarius
Lawyer Dads are the dads with ties and briefcases. they may be any high-powered profession, or indeed another profession with a straight-backed attitude. lawyer dads are likely to be protective and prideful. they may dote on their children, but not necessarily in as affective a way as a Suburban Dad; rather, they are likely to want them to achieve the best and will consider it a personal achievement when their child outranks someone else’s. Lawyer Dads are good to have on your side if you stub a toe, but can also be emotionally distant. they’re one of the dadlier dad clans, likely to be featured in movies as ambitious and possibly the source of conflict. nonetheless, this doesn’t mean Lawyer Dads arent devoted and loyal.
Suburban Dads - Taurus, Virgo
Suburban Dads are the stereotypically dadliest dads. most likely to make dad jokes, have anxiety about their children, and devote themself to the lifestyle of being the Dad to other people. they are likely to enjoy or promote their dad status, and take a lot of pride in their role. the difference between Lawyer Dads and Suburban Dads is that Lawyer Dads are proud to be responsible for their children, specifically, and Suburban Dads are proud to be good dads overall. they can be competitive and easily absorbed in the culture of dadhood, but are also more likely to be demonstrative of their affection and may hope to be friends with their children. Suburban Dads are also often more social than some other Dad Clans.
Trailer Dads - Gemini, Sagittarius
Trailer Dads are not any worse dads than the other dad clans, but they are a little more untraditional – or may follow their own specific traditions, regardless of their social surroundings. Trailer Dads may lean towards new age or folk traditions. they have a hierarchical relationship with their children, typically with the motivation of wanting what is best for their kids. most commonly, they will either regularly clash with their offspring, having different perspectives, or produce copies of themselves and impart their unique traits upon their progeny. there is less likelihood for the in-between with a Trailer Dad. Trailer Dads usually have principles which define what they do and don’t give their children, oftentimes motivated by practicality. dadhood, nonetheless, is a part of their identity.
Garden Dads - Cancer, Libra
Garden Dads are dads who just want peace and nice things in the world. they are liminal dads, of a sort; not undadly, but perhaps more distractible or less engaged than, for instance, the Suburban Dad. they may be distant in a different way than Lawyer Dads are. Garden Dads, for example, are likely to have their own enthusiastic interests, and view their children as small delicate visitors to whom they feed sandwiches. dadhood is marginal to Garden Dads, but they are usually more affectionate than strict, and will be supportive of whatever interests their children lean towards. Garden Dads may have their own businesses or ambitions which their children exist around or near or amidst. they are typically uncompetitive, but may be protective.
Absent Dads - Leo, Capricorn, Pisces
Absent Dads are not always the standard emotionally inaccessible dad we may think of as a trope; rather, they are usually dads who are simply doing things other than being dads. sometimes this means being a rockstar; sometimes this is not really knowing you have children or understanding how to interact with them; sometimes this is actively avoiding parenthood because it is uncomfortable. dadhood is not the primary quality of Absent Dads – they are, of the Dad Clans, the un-dads, if you will. they may like their children as people and want the best for them, but not have a strong sense of their own role in such an upbringing. they will slap you on your back and ask how your playwriting is. an Absent Dad is not inherently a bad dad, but simply may not live a dad lifestyle at all.
*anyone can belong in a Dad Clan; actual fatherhood is by no means a prerequisite. no Dad Clans are inherently worse than another, they are simply different styles and expressions of dad-itude.