#traumatask

thomas woke up with a bad feeling.

it melted away when he turned on his side and wrapped his arms around beverly, pressing his face into the crook of her neck. he pressed his lips against her skin and smiled. he was met with an annoyed groan over the fact that he had woken her up minutes before her alarm was going to sound. in all the time that he had known her she had never been an early riser. "morning, sleepy head," he mumbled, brushing dark curls out of her face.

she turned onto her back and looked up at him, brown eyed narrowed, her lips in a pout. "what time 'sit?" met with only with a shrug and a kiss to the cheek, she rolled her eyes. "you're hopeless, donovan."

thomas grinned and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, sliding his feet into his slippers with a poorly stifled yawn. "what if we take the day off?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder as his wife crawled over to wrap her arms around his shoulders from behind.

"no can do. i've got a dentist appointment, remember." he didn't remember, of course. he never did. with a dramatic sigh, beverly hauled herself off the bed to go to the bathroom, but thomas caught her hand and pulled her in for a kiss. she smiled against his lips. "tomorrow?" she suggested.

he looked up at her, studying her face carefully. his heart swelled. "tomorrow."

whilst she was in the shower, he made breakfast. when she was finished, she made him breakfast whilst he showered - a routine they had perfected in their years together. they talked about the plan for the day, how she wouldn't be at work until late in the afternoon because of the appointment. he suggested they go out for dinner to which she just rolled her eyes, knowing that would only culminate in eating takeout on the couch. their anniversary wasn't for another week, and for that thomas had big plans. he wasn't a big believer in going over the top too often - he felt like it cheapened the real big moments.

despite waking up in plenty of time, he still ended up running late for his shift. he kissed her only briefly before he left. "love you!" he called over his shoulder.

"to the moon, baby!" she responded as the front door closed and he was gone for the day.

it was only an hour later when beverly showed up at the firehouse, grumbling about her appointment being cancelled. it was eight minutes after she had arrived when the alarm bell rang out signalling, they had somewhere to be. a fire had broken out downtown in an old warehouse, especially troubling because it was known for housing squatters.

thomas was quick to get ready, but beverly was even quicker despite having only just arrived.

for some reason, thomas paused before getting on the truck. he looked at her and opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn't figure out what he wanted to say. there was that feeling again, niggling in the back of his mind. "move it, donovan!" snapped him out of it and he pulled himself up into the truck and they were off.

when they reached the warehouse, the fire was worse than anticipated, but a plan was soon in action. they had a few minutes to do a sweep and that was it, no longer. beverly was the first one in. the one thing thomas would remember was that they didn't have time to go through their usual routine - a quick kiss and a reminder of love. he thought nothing of it at the time as he followed her inside. "fire department, call out!"

on their sweep of the building, he heard and felt nothing and assumed everyone had made it out. until bev told the squad to be quiet. they stood still for a full ten seconds, time that they didn't really have. "over there." a feeble little voice was trying to call out but struggled against the smoke and could only cough and splutter in response. she was the only one that could fit through the crack and retrieve the child, there was no time for debate over who was going to go. thomas waited anxiously at the opening, twenty seconds passed and a child no older than ten slipped through the crack of fallen debris. thomas immediately scooped them up, ready to make for the exit. "beverly!" he called out, anxious that she hadn't yet returned.

a few seconds later her head popped out, "go!" thomas let out a breath of relief and turned, telling the rest of the squad to go ahead.

she was right behind him.

less than a minute later and thomas heard the building creak and knew their time was coming to an end. he glanced up at the ceiling, but his only thought was to get the kid in his arms out of the door. a beam fell from the ceiling right behind him and slammed loudly to the ground. there was a terrible crunch and a sinking feeling in his stomach as he emerged back into fresh air. everything else happened in a blur.

he handed the kid over and turned to go back inside but the chief grabbed his arm. "no one goes back in." the pain was obvious on the other man's face. thomas opened his mouth to speak but closed it again quickly, his eyes searching the crowd. there was just a small inkling of hope that she had made it out. 

"no." thomas pushed the other man's arm away just as a beam fell directly in front of the only free entrance into the building. his heart raced wildly and he spun around. she had to be somewhere. "no." this wasn't what was supposed to happen. she was supposed to be at the dentist. despite the obvious blockage, thomas charged towards the building. a barrage of his colleague’s arms grabbed him and dragged him back, words of comfort and sympathy were already pouring over him but he wasn't listening.

"beverly!" he shouted, struggling to break free from their grasp. "no, no, no. lemme go! beverly!" his voice caught in his throat and his eyes pooled with tears. all he could do was stare as the building was engulfed in flames with his wife still inside.

𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬, 𝐚 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞

Two words on a post it note. Nearly ten years of marriage had all come down to two words on a post it note, left haphazardly on the kitchen counter in what Lachlan could only assume was something of a rushed exit. He’d hardly envisioned coming home to an empty house, though part of him supposed he couldn’t blame Andrea for making the choice. Someone had to do it, and he knew full well it was never going to be him to make that step.

It had been agonizing, all of the fighting that had gone on between them. Round and round in circles, neither one of them seemingly willing to concede, no matter what the other said to them about the circumstances. Even in the worst of fights, he hadn’t thought that it would have ended like this. Andrea was his everything, she had been practically since the moment they had met. So much so that even in this moment, he was only thinking about her.

He couldn’t say they hadn’t tried - all of their trying had mounted up to months of fighting, screaming, yelling at one another, nine times out of ten causing more harm than good. They’d brought up everything they possibly needed to, most of his thoughts and feelings had been made very clear since the beginning, and yet between them they hadn’t been able to formulate any kind of plan to try and move past this. At least, he hadn’t thought so. Andrea it seemed had her own thoughts on how to move past their problems, and that was evident in the divorce papers that he’d been staring at for what felt like hours.

He fought the urge to pick up the phone, to beg and plead for Andrea to come home to just talk a little bit more about their issues. But talking wouldn’t last, it never did, and he knew better than to call the woman he loved just for things to wind up in yet another argument. She deserved better than that.

She deserved better than him.