#transsisters

[Alt text for first image: A screenshot of a digital newspaper page. The page is yellowed and has black text. At the top it reads, "Issue #5, TransSisters: The Journal of Transsexual Feminism, Summer 1994." A line separates the top text from the rest of the page. Big, bold letters say, "LESBIANS WHO DATE TRANSSEXUALS by Christine Beatty." The rest of the text on the page is smaller and divided into two columns. The first column begins in italics, reading, "Editor’s note: This article was originally published in the Summer 1992 issue of Lesbian Contradiction and is reprinted with permission of the author."

The rest of the article reads as follows: "I know what to expect when I walk into a lesbian bar and order a drink. As I sit there nursing my glass of fuzzy-water, I will probably hear the buzz of at least one conversation turning to me. I am a male-to-female transsexual. And if that isn’t enough, I identify as a lesbian.

I am used to the varied reception from the lesbian community, and I am becoming at peace with it. Some of my sisters treat me as just that — a sister. Others react with neutrality or curiosity. And some of my sisters just hate my guts. They aren’t too thrilled with the gay women who accept me, either. Goddess help the lesbian hapless enough to be seen with me in public.

The women who react negatively to me, who don’t accept me as any kind of woman, can be very stubborn in their thinking. It doesn’t even matter to them whether or not I’ve had sex-change surgery. “Once a prick, always a prick” was how one lesbian separatist expressed her sentiment to me. Even though fifteen percent of genetic women are born infertile and/or have never had a period, the fact that I don’t bleed monthly and can’t bear children is reason enough in their eyes to exclude me from the community. Some of these women hate men so much they consider anyone born with a penis - whether they wanted it or not - to be “the enemy.” And some of them are so vocal that they sway other members of the gay women’s community. Political Correctness is still a formidable weapon which sometimes indiscriminately squashes human beings whose wants and needs are not politically motivated.

I have mostly come to accept all of this stuff. As a transsexual lesbian I have to be who 1 am, and 1 insist on taking my place in the lesbian community no matter who tries to reject me. I thank Goddess for my sisters who make me feel a part of the community. They know I have no choice of what 1 was born or how I feel, and they are open-minded enough to look past my chromosomes to the innate female energy that put me on this incredibly painful, difficult and treacherous path. I respect the strength of their conviction that allows them to welcome me in spite of how the less open-minded women mutter under their breaths.

All these dynamics tear me in several directions when I think of the lesbian I am currently dating. We haven’t tied the knot and aren’t planning on it. We date once or twice a week and have gone to bed a couple of times. No really big deal -- at least not to us. Yet I know what some of the other gay women must be saying about her.

They are calling her “bisexual” which isn’t true. They are probably also saying very nasty things about her, just because she isn’t prejudiced and closed-minded about me. I have so much gratitude for how she is able to relate to me as another woman. I am torn between my awe at her courage to be seen with me, and my fear of how she may be permanently ostracized by some women. Even the lesbians who aren’t very' PC may shy away from her, afraid of “guilt” by association or being torn apart by the mob mentality. They know that all of these women who have nothing better to do than gossip about her will tear them apart too.

This experience of being in a dating relationship with her has given me a lot of insight into the difficulties that an interracial couple must face. Prejudice, discrimination, fear and hatred are among the greatest enemies we face. Those who might be allies are afraid to face those enemies with us. They believe it is better for them to pretend they don't see us than to take a stand by us.

The gay community, especially the gay women’s community, is always in danger of becoming ineffectual because of infighting. It never ceases to amaze me how one minority can always find an even smaller minority’ within itself to dump on. Yet while we are spending our precious energy trying to find reasons to go off into our little cliques and hate each other, mainstream society — especially the conservative elements — are finding new' ways to turn the clock back to the dark ages for all of us. Instead of celebrating each other’s sisterhood and finding solidarity, we bitterly complain about what a wonderful women’s community we’d have if it weren’t for . . . you fill in the blank.

In the case of my lesbian date and myself, the “blank” seems to be those awful “men in dresses” with their penises cut off (or soon to be cut off) and those traitorous bitches who pretend to be lesbians while they fuck those “former” men. It seems to me we have a Nazi-like concern for purity here. My XY chromosomes and infertility earns me the badge of the enemy no matter what I have in my heart, mind or panties. And my girlfriend is now a “bisexual” because she’s fucked me a few times. This kind of fanaticism can be carried to even further extremes. When will it be decided that any female who is infertile is not a woman? What about those rare cases of women who are born with female genitalia but have XY chromosomes? When will we carry this extreme to sexual orientation? What if a woman has ever had heterosexual sex, does that make her a bisexual? How many exclusively lesbian encounters must she have before she is reallya lesbian? And on and on . . .

I would love to see some dialogue, some attempt to reach an understanding of these issues within our community. One of the “typical” female traits that so attracts to femininity is compassion. I wish my sisters who so hate or fear me could begin to see my dilemma for what it (continued on page 44)." End of alt ID for first image.]

[Alt text for second image: Yellowed background, black text. The top has bigger, bolder text that reads "Lesbians Who Date Transsexuals," and smaller italicized text that reads "(continued from page 38)". A line separates the title and the remaining of the article, which reads: "is. Maybe they could begin to expand their definition of female to include those like me. Maybe they could someday see the validity of my lesbian identity. And just maybe, by finding some way to see me as another kind of woman, they could also invite my girlfriend back into the lesbian community."