Trans Missing Tips
Even if disappearing may seem abrupt to others, going missing should NOT be something you do impulsively, especially if you are planning on staying missing or hidden for a long time. Going missing takes time, and you should be aware of, and plan ahead for, the lifestyle changes you are going to need to adapt to.
Depending on how you plan on transitioning, some of these tips may not be as helpful to you... I apologize.
General Tips
Plan Ahead
Spend time thinking realistically planning what your day-to-day needs will be. If you plan on going missing in person, consider what necessities (identification documents, medications, important records, chargers, hygiene products, weather-appropriate clothing, emergency contact information, food, water, etc) you need to rely on regularly and how you would continue to access them if your circumstances changed.
Think about your finances, housing situation, transportation needs, communication methods, and support systems!
Stay Out of Trouble
Try your best to avoid legal or criminal trouble whenever possible as getting the attention of the police may lead to investigations, searches and depending on whether or not you get convicted, it may be on your public record.
Tips for Transitioning Online
Reduce Your Digital Footprint Completely
If you are trying to disappear gradually but have a large following or many people who regularly check up on you, consider taking increasingly long breaks from the internet multiple times. Avoid drawing attention to your absence and avoid posting apologies for being inactive. Over time, people may begin to view your disappearances as normal behaviour rather than something unusual and slowly stop inquiring you about your absence.
If you want to disappear more abruptly, however, consider deactivating, privating, or completely abandoning your public accounts and moving to private or burner accounts instead.
Keep personal information and schedules private whenever possible. Avoid posting (recent) photos of yourself publicly and periodically review old posts and accounts to remove information that reveals your location, interests, age, or other identifying details.
If you are able to, try to log back into old accounts that you may have forgotten about even if you haven't used them in years (Try to through your browser's saved passwords or password managers to find accounts from old gaming platforms, streaming services, forums, shopping sites, school portals, social media accounts, etc) and remove any comments, posts, playlists, links from these accounts or simply deactivate them. I know that YouTube has a feature in which it allows you to show your accounts comment history, so try to search through these comments and delete any of the comments that may reveal person information such as your name or other usernames.
If you create new accounts, consider whether you want previous mutuals, acquaintances, or people from your offline life to have access to them. Some people choose to block these individuals immediately to prevent accidental discovery.
It can also be useful to search for your own usernames and accounts occasionally. While it may feel counterintuitive, this can help you identify what information remains publicly accessible and how easily others may be able to find it.
I recommend using Have I Been Pwned to figure out if any sites you may have used in the past has suffered from a data breach.
Turn Off Settings That Share Accounts With Your Contacts
There are so many platforms that sync your contacts or use your location data, so always remember to turn off contact syncing whenever possible! Some sites (like Twitter) automatically have contact syncing turned on when you make an account, so do your best to always check the privacy settings of social media accounts that may allow your profile to appear in "People You May Know" or similar algorithms.
Separate Your Online Identities or Personas
Use different usernames and aliases across different platforms if you do not want your accounts to easily be connected to one another. Avoid reusing old usernames or slight variations of them, and avoid using predictable naming conventions. Consider using random word generators to create entirely new handles.
If you are easily recognizable or known online for a specific thing (activity, talent, fandom, voice, artwork, or general community presence), Try to completely avoid posting about said specific thing you are known for, or try to change the way you behave or talk online.
I recommend using entirely different different email addresses, aesthetics, profile pictures, and bios for each account you own and using different social media platforms for each of your accounts if you plan on posting your creative works, interests, or want to continue socialising publicly. I also highly recommend NOT cross posting art or your interests on these accounts to reduce the likelihood that one account will lead people to another.
Be Cautious When Posting Photos Online
As a general rule online, try your best to avoid posing your face or about visiting (famous or popular) locations, school logos, workplace details, street signs, or other recognisable or easily searchable locations.
Photos contain metadata such as GPS coordinates, and although many social media platforms remove this automatically, direct file-sharing services and messaging platforms may not. Consider disabling location permissions for your camera if you are able to!
Transitioning in Person
Cut Off or Ignore Your Contacts
Try to cut off or limit your interaction with your friends and family, both online and in person. I recommend trying to vary your routines (like going to places at extremely busy, or extremely vacant times, or using different routes every time you commute) rather than following an easily recognisable or memorable schedule every day to lower the chance of being noticed by someone you might have known.
If you encounter someone unexpectedly, try to be as uninteresting and uninformative as a grey rock when talking to them. Provide as little information as you possibly can about your current circumstance and do your best to avoid giving them any username handles or contact information.
Inform Trusted Individuals of Your Disappearance
Though it seems counterintuitive, If you plan on going missing, consider informing at least one trusted person beforehand. You do not need to tell them where you are going, when you plan to leave, or what your long-term plans are. Simply inform them that your soon-to-be departure is completely premeditated. This is simply just to prevent confusion or widespread concern or panic if others begin worrying about you. I recommend keeping in touch with the individual(s) you trust with this information, even if it is just through a burner phone incase you are in need of help.
Be Less Recognizable
Some people find that wearing ordinary, neutral clothing helps them blend into everyday environments. Clothing that is common and unremarkable tends to attract less attention than bright styles, logos, or accessories. If you already have a recognizable fashion sense, try your best to lay low or change the most recognizable part of you! Grow out or cut your hair short, change your glasses's frames, wear different shoes, etc.
Also consider whether your current contact information, mailing arrangements, or (bluetooth) device names contain identifying information that you would prefer not to share. Updating these details and reducing unnecessary personal information can help create greater separation between different parts of your life!
