#trans dewdrop

༻△⋆₊˚.⛤△⛤.˚₊⋆△༺

Dew hadn’t had a chance to be flustered by Rain’s sudden appearance in front of him before the crashing realisation that what he thought was happening actually was.

The taste of Rain flooded his mouth, removing Dew’s ability to think of anything other than how much he loved it, how this was everything he had ever wanted made manifest even if he hadn’t known to ask the universe for it. It filled him with a deep satisfaction that they had made the final move together, the same way he hoped everything between them would be from now on. He was happy in ways he couldn’t put words to.

Those feelings would have to wait for a while though. Now that Rain had lit the match his element had taken over and everything had gone up in an inferno.

Dew had always thought that fireworks were a cliched way to describe a kiss. Sure, he had seen how the comparison had come about, had even thought he felt it himself before too. He thought he finally understood it now though, saw that it was no hyperbole. Every move of his lips against Rain’s shook him to his core as intensely as the colourful explosions he had seen on a beach out on tour last year had, filling him with the same awed wonder and exhilaration. It was every good moment in his life rolled into one and magnified by ten.

He felt another giggle bubble up inside him. After all he had done to Rain, he still wanted him. Dew could hardly believe It.

Throwing the guitar aside, he launched himself at Rain. The water ghoul stumbled back before he could seal their lips again though, catching him by the waist before either of them could fall.

“Hey, I was enjoying that?” Dew whined, only a little petulantly to his own ears.

Rain levelled him with a look, very pointedly glancing around at the cramped space full of delicate instruments before sitting back on his piano stool from earlier and patting his lap. Dew planted himself in it with glee. He was taller now, holding Rain’s face in both hands and feeling almost giddy with joy as he pressed their lips together again with more force than he had intended, but he didn’t care.

Dew wanted this to last forever.

Rain’s lips were softer than he expected yet his body was firm as Dew threw his arms around his neck, tangled one in his hair. Rain’s hands splayed wide on his back but it didn’t make him feel small. Instead Dew felt strangely powerful.

Everything about the kiss was perfect. Dew never wanted it to end, wanted to freeze time so the perfect moment could last forever. He thought he understood now why Ifrit and Zephyr had been the way they were; he would be content to take his every breath from Rain’s mouth from now on.

The water ghoul was panting, Dew pulling tiny whines from him as he licked deeper into his mouth with his long, forked tongue. He filled every one of Dew’s senses, saltwater and sweetness, something uniquely Rain. His whole body felt like it was being absorbed by the water ghoul, merging with his to become one being separated only by the intensity of the feeling they held for the other.

Dew’s stomach chose that moment to rumble loudly though, interrupting them and making Rain pull back.

“Why’d you stop?” Dew made to reconnect their lips again but Rain held him firmly.

“You’re hungry.” Rain stated, as though that were reason enough.

The earnest caring in his voice made something curl low and warm within him, the idea that Rain would seek to protect him from something as basic as his own hunger stoking a fire of mutual adoration. Dew was hungrier for Rain than he was for food though, so he launched forward to reconnect their lips again. Rain indulged him for just a moment before slowly extracting himself again.

“We’re missing dinner.”

“I don’t care. You’re here.” Dew pouted and tried to kiss Rain again.

“Dew, we have to eat.” Even as he said it he hesitated, like he was trying to find a way out from his own words.

Dew thought he would rather eat Rain, but kept that thought inside for now.

“C’mon.” Rain pecked him on the lips once more before standing, Dew slithering off his lap to his feet. “I’m not having you starve on me now I’ve finally got you.”

The words sent enough shivers of delight through him that it was almost worth having to burst the bubble they had been in.

They put their instruments away in a blur, eyes or hands always in contact. It was a strange half-light they found themselves in, locked away alone in the music wing.

When they stepped out into the rest of the Abbey it was clear the dynamic between them had changed. Dew felt a shift in the gravity holding him to the earth, a secondary pull now dragging him towards Rain. It felt to him like he should have a neon sign over his head advertising this new revelation but no one they walked past seemed to notice. Dew did though and it was clear Rain did too. Everything felt different, like a slight misalignment in the fabric of the world had been righted.

Dew barely noticed what was on his plate, only that it was warm and it was satiating the hunger he hadn’t realised had crept up on him. He was far more distracted by the water ghoul beside him. His presence was filling him with a different kind of warmth, one he felt deep in his very being, not only his body.

He and Rain… Dew couldn’t have imagined it even just a year ago, yet now it felt like everything his life had been leading him towards. Dew had always thought his mark made him the wrong kind of different, destined to be alone. Even if he met the ghoul on the other end of it he had always assumed he would still feel slightly empty from the otherness it had caused him.

But now his heart felt truly full for the first time. Not only with Rain but with the other relationships he had built around him. His pack, his meaningful role here on the surface: they were all bonds he had formed independently of his soul mark. That made Rain, his soulmate, feel like one more bright star in his sky rather than a lone lighthouse. He was grateful for all of them, for things having panned out this perfect way even if he hadn’t always seen where the curving road ahead was going.

They sat close enough to press their thighs together, unable to look away from one another. Dew didn’t think he ever wanted to. The rest of the pack must have eaten already so it was just them in a corner by themselves.

He wanted to catalogue the exact shade of lilac still colouring Rain’s cheeks, wanted to know how the slight purse of his lips when he looked at Dew’s felt against his own. So he did, kissing him briefly on the lips. Rain seemed a little shocked, like he was entirely lost in a thought or a daydream himself, but his smile felt like the sun emerging from behind clouds leaving Dew no choice but to kiss it again.

“Well you two look insufferable.” Mist fell into the seat opposite them. “Are you ready to admit I was right this whole time? Or are we pretending that didn’t just happen?”

Dew coughed awkwardly, jumping back upright, and Rain blushed that pretty shade again as an accusatory finger gestured between them.

“Oh Hells, please don’t say you’re going to be as gooey as Earth and Air were at first. You know, Secondo discussed banishing them to a whole different wing of the Abbey, just so the rest of us could get a break from them.” Despite her words her tone gave away her fondness, as did her beaming smile.

“Go on then, say it.” Dew rolled his eyes with a halfhearted scoff. “You’ve been waiting long enough.”

Dew and Rain shared a smile and it was almost sappy enough to distract Mist, but not quite.

“I told you so!” Her triumphant sing-song echoed around the mostly-empty dining hall.

“Yes, you did.” Dew allowed with a put-upon, long-suffering sigh.

“Many times.” Rain scowled slightly.

Just how exactly much had Mist bothered him in the lake, Dew had to wonder.

“Well if you two had gotten over yourselves sooner I wouldn’t have—”

“Yes, yes, we know.” Dew rolled his eyes. “Things worked out eventually though, didn’t they?”

Mist smirked fondly as they shared another look but Dew didn’t care.

“Anyway I’ll leave you two lovebirds to get acquainted.” She cackled as she stood back up. “Let me know when it’s safe to be within a fifty mile radius of you again.”

Mist made to leave but Dew reached out to grab her hand as she passed him.

“Thank you.” He said awkwardly. “For, well, your…”

“Encouragement?” Rain offered.

“Persistence, more like.” Dew scoffed. “No, but I mean it. Thank you for your confidence in me, I guess. In us; this.”

“No problem, Dewy.” She patted his hand where it was still holding hers. “I know it’ll be worth it.”

Her horns glowed a bright candy pink as if in agreement. Dew hoped against faint hope that one day she would get to meet her beacon of light in the flesh too.

As keen as Dew had been to whisk them both back to the Den, he hadn’t anticipated how awkward things might be when they got there. It was still too early to turn in for the night and neither of them had really wanted to say goodnight and go their individual ways yet anyway.

They would separate, Dew knew; as much as every instinct screamed for him to pull Rain into his room and never leave his side again, he knew they must. Everything between them had been so glacial so far that rushing things now would be counterproductive, too far outside of what they knew.

They ended up on the sofa in front of a movie but Dew couldn’t have said what it was, what it was about, or even what genre it was. He was too distracted sitting flush to Rain, staring at his slightly pursed lips as he breathed through his mouth. It was a habit born of his aquatic life before, Dew was sure, one he used to find annoying but was now just a part of him.

He wanted to kiss those lips again, wanted to be closer, to climb inside Rain’s skin and press their hearts together until they beat as one.

From the way Rain’s head turned quickly away every time Dew looked at him it was obvious he wasn’t especially interested in watching the movie either. Dew could understand; the pull to look directly into the swirling blue of Rain’s eyes was stronger than that of any magnet.

Dew kept staring intently at him until until the next time Rain looked back, purposefully getting caught.

“What?” Rain laughed.

“Nothin’, just wanna look at you.”

It felt weird to admit it, scary even, but the rush of adrenaline it gave Dew mixed with the incomparable high of Rain’s beaming smile was nothing short of addictive.

“Oh really?” Rain leaned even closer into his space, making Dew’s heart-rate spike. “Well that’s a rather convenient coincidence.”

“How so?” Dew stuttered out, feeling Rain’s breath brush cool against his lips.

“Because I enjoy looking at you too.” Rain purred, low and sultry.

Dew felt his heart flip over in his chest, but only for a second before Rain pressed their lips together once more and it returned to pounding like a drum. He felt like he was going slightly crazy with how much he enjoyed kissing Rain already, how every nerve felt set ablaze as he kissed Rain back with an even greater fervour than before.

The fire from the first time felt like it would never die out. If anything it was burning stronger with every kiss. Dew wanted it to consume him whole.

He gave up on the pretence of playing things even a little cool before he had really started, holding onto Rain for balance as he threw himself into his lap. Dew swallowed the slight huff of air from Rain’s lungs as he planted his weight on him, felt his lips stretch wide in a smile as his hands came to land on Dew’s hips.

It didn’t make Dew feel small but instead made him feel powerful, like Rain was holding onto him for dear life as the tidal wave of new feelings swept through them.

Dew hoped this feeling never got old, hoped he never got used to it. He wanted to experience the ground-shaking wonder of this moment every day for the rest of eternity.

They only separated when they heard footsteps outside the half-open door, the sounds of the others snapping them back into reality. Neither of them was ready to share this new thing between them yet, wanting to enjoy the private and secrecy for just a little longer. Dew didn’t fully move off of Rain though, legs still sprawled over his lap as he sat back next to him, somehow even closer than they had been before. Rain’s arm didn’t leave his side.

“Guess we should go to bed at some point.” The water ghoul murmured.

Dew sighed, looking at the time. Rain was right, but equally he didn’t think he was ready to let go of him for the night, not now he had him.

As they got to their feet, Dew turning to pull Rain out of the depths of the sofa, it didn’t seem like Rain was in any real hurry either.

“Why do we have to sleep anyway?” Dew grumbled into Rain’s mouth as the taller ghoul leaned down to kiss him yet again. Neither of them could get enough, it seemed.

“Because you’re due in Copia’s office bright and early tomorrow.” Rain reminded him, breaking the kiss to instead fold Dew into his arms and press another to the top of his head. “And you don’t like disappointing him.”

He was right of course. Dew valued the trust Copia had in him too much to want to jeopardise it, valued the man himself too much as well, but how Rain had picked up on that he didn’t know.

“Meet you for breakfast?” Dew asked instead.

“I wouldn’t miss it.”

They both hovered awkwardly in the corridor when it came to saying goodnight, letting go of each other but neither one of them wanting to actually make the move to leave the other’s side. It was only the sound of another door opening that finally had Dew stepping back with a sheepish smile.

“Night, Rain. See you in the morning.”

“Sleep well, Dew.” Rain’s smile was toothy and genuine, meant just for him.

Dew felt like he was walking on air all the way back to his room, the feel of Rain’s lips on his and his words in his ears still sharp in his mind.

.▽⋆.*⛧༺▽༻⛧*.⋆▽.

Rain had never felt so settled when he woke. The boat set adrift by the arrival of his soul mark had finally dropped anchor, the tumultuous waves calming to a gentle lull.

He felt a syrupy warmth in his veins when he was with Dew; this must be what everyone had always said about new soulmates being inseparable. Rain saw why now. The absence of Dew beside him was something he felt more keenly than he had thought possible, a cold shadow lingering where the fire ghoul should be.

It was, of course, also common knowledge that soulmates were insatiable. They were not yet but Rain saw it as only a matter of time, given how strongly he hungered for Dew’s kisses.

It had been their own choice to fall asleep and then wake separately Rain knew, even if they hadn’t said it with words. They were both private creatures – Rain supposed years of hiding their marks would do that to a ghoul – with their rooms being their own spaces for so long that even Swiss had only stepped foot inside of Rain’s once or twice. Thinking about Dew being in his room alongside him now just felt right though.

Rain had showered and dressed quickly, such a miracle by his standards that only Dew could have inspired it. Seeing him already stood by the counter when he entered the kitchen, the smile spreading across his face when their eyes met, set the final parts of his mind to rest. Everything seemed to click perfectly into place as he took his place beside Dew, hands and hearts reaching out for each other and not being left wanting.

“Mornin’.” He murmured, pressing his cheek to the side of Dew’s head as he finished ladling coffee grounds into the machine in front of him. “How’d you sleep?”

“Better than I have in a while.”

His tone left the second half of his sentence, the half Rain’s own thoughts echoed, unsaid.

Not as well as if you’d been with me.

That was a conversation for later though. For now, Rain wanted to bask in every second they had together before Dew had to leave or they were interrupted by the rest of the pack. He stuck close enough to him that he could feel the fire ghoul’s warmth while he finished making two coffees, spooning a concerning amount of sugar into Rain’s and topping it off with milk.

“You know, Copia was telling me something the other day.” Dew said conversationally as he handed it to Rain. “He needed to go the infirmary because his teeth were hurting. He said in the human world if you eat too much sugar they have special doctors who pull them all out!”

Rain snapped his sharp teeth loudly in Dew’s ear, taking note of the way the fire ghoul shivered as his breath tickled him.

“I’d like to see them try.”

The quiet domesticity that fell then was one Rain hoped to hold onto forever. Now that things between them were finally settled he could allow himself to bask in these moments, to appreciate all that he had never thought he’d get.

That was until Cirrus and Cumulus appeared, at least. He and Dew both snapped back into their previously amicable and polite but otherwise no-more-than-friends roles as the watchful and probing gaze of the ghoulettes passed over them.

“Good morning, boys!” Cumulus crowed.

“You’re looking particularly cosy today.” Cirrus’ smile was sharp and knowing.

Rain didn’t rise to it though. The pair wouldn’t be above tricking them into saying something that would give away his and Dew’s new situation, he knew.

Their cat-like stares lingered on Rain and Dew’s backs all while the fire ghoul downed his surely scalding hot coffee. He looked apologetic that he had to rush off for his duties with Copia, but equally apprehensive about the sudden appearance of their two least subtle packmates.

“See you later.” Rain whispered, so softly only Dew could hear.

He briefly twitched his lips into the shape of a kiss, so quickly Dew would have missed it had he blinked, a poor substitute for the real goodbye he would have otherwise sent him off with. Rain still got to watch as Dew’s eyes softened and turned molten with fondness as the corners crinkled into a smile.

The door to the Den had barely closed behind Dew when Cirrus and Cumulus started twittering between each other.

“Already missing his mate, the lone water ghoul stares forlornly at his parting gift.”

“This pair have had a turbulent season, forgoing many of their species’ traditional mating rituals.”

Rain ground his teeth, trying to ignore them narrating his life like a nature documentary as he blew on his drink to cool it.

“The water ghoul appears frustrated.”

“Could it be that he feels the weight of secrets kept from his other packmates?”

Rain spun round at that, about to stalk off or chew them out, he hadn’t quite decided yet, when Sunshine strolled into the common room.

“Morning!” She chirped happily, either unaware of the terse atmosphere in the room or uncaring. “What’s going on?”

“Rainy here’s trying to pretend like he’s not suddenly gotten very cosy with a certain fire ghoul.” Cumulus announced smugly.

“He’s pretending he’s not moping that Dew just left for duties.” Added Cirrus.

“Well he’s not doing a very good job.” Sunshine observed, head tilted to the side in such a picture of innocence that Rain couldn’t tell if she was in on the teasing or not.

“How do you even know?” Rain snapped, his frustration rising.

First they had interrupted the few moments he had with Dew that morning, and now they were making fun of his justified irritation.

“Mist told us.” Cirrus cheerfully informed him.

Rain had to wonder when.

“Also neither of you are very subtle.”

“It’s obvious to anyone with eyes.”

Sunshine, thankfully, seemed to sense it was best to keep her mouth shut and stayed politely silent although her knowing smile never faltered.

The water ghoul wasn’t in the mood for any of their teasing though, no matter how well-intentioned. He huffed and made his way to leave, already debating if he had enough time to sulk in the lake before Dew returned or if he should just lock himself in his room until then.

“Rainy…” Cirrus at least had the grace to sound slightly apologetic. “We’re just teasing you. C’mon.”

She patted the empty space beside her on the sofa.

“Tell us everything!” Cumulus appeared to be sat on her hands to stop them from mirroring the excitement in her voice.

Rain joined them with sigh that was mostly for show. They had been so encouraging from the moment he had first entertained the thought of tolerating Dew that they were the natural packmates to tell now everything seemed to be going well at last.

“What did Mist tell you already?” He asked first however, just in case there were any inaccuracies he needed to stamp out before they spread too far.

“Not that much actually.” Cirrus admitted.

“Just that you two were sat so close in the dining hall that it looked like you were trying to merge into a single body.”

“Yeah, and something about looking so gooey eyed that Papa might mistake you for sticky toffee pudding?” Sunny added.

Rain wasn’t sure if she even knew what that was yet, but she delivered the words with absolute conviction regardless.

Either way he couldn’t deny the truth in their words; he could still feel the lingering warmth of Dew in his veins. It had been there since their lips first touched and didn’t seem to be fading any time soon. He wasn’t particularly surprised that the others could see it too. Even just remembering the previous evening now, Rain could feel the warm tide flowing in him again, filling him with a contentment as deep as the greatest oceans—

“Earth to Rain?” Cumulus’ voice broke into his reverie.

Rain blinked quickly, once again greeted by wide, fang-filled grins. He felt his cheeks flush lavender.

“Mist wasn’t exaggerating, huh?” Cirrus’s smirk softened into something affectionate. “I’m so happy for you Rainy, really.”

“He’s just– I’m–” Rain struggled to find the words as three pairs of eyes stared at him, unblinking. “Perfect. Everything’s just perfect right now.”

He was answered by a chorus of coos. Cirrus pulled him into a hug, Cumulus reaching across her to pat frantically at his arm in excitement.

“I’m so happy you finally got over yourselves!” She exclaimed.

“Yes, watching you two since we returned from tour has been painful.” Mussing up his hair, Cirrus laughed softly.

“I took your advice, didn’t ?” Rain grumbled.

“Yeah, and you took your sweet time too!”

“Cumulus said it would all work out.”

Rain rolled his eyes, still unsure if her psychic predictions were actually real or not.

“Go on then, what happened?”

“Who got their act together first?”

Their questions overlapped in their excitement.

“It just kinda happened? At the same time?” Rain was met with disbelieving stares.

“Come on Rainy, don’t be all coy now of all times!”

“It’s true!” Rain stuck his tongue out at Cumulus, petty as it might be, before thinking more seriously about her question. “I guess I was watching him for a while first, we were rehearsing, but…”

There was silence for the first time, all three ghoulettes holding onto his words with baited breath.

“He just– I– I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him. It was like he was the only thing left in the universe to look at. Like everything else was– Well, not dark exactly, but like he was the only thing worth looking at, the only thing in focus if that makes sense?”

Cumulus and Cirrus shared another look, this one loaded with all the easy affection that Rain couldn’t find the words to adequately describe. They understood. Of course they did.

“At first I just couldn’t stop looking at his hands.” Rain flushed a little as he spoke, not about to admit out loud all that he had imagined those hands doing over the last months.

“Oh don’t worry, we get it Honey.”

“You’ll see what we mean in our first full rehearsal.” Cumulus nodded sagely, patting Sunshine’s hand.

Rain decided he didn’t want to think about what else they had been saying behind the guitarists’ backs from up on their riser.

“But it was more than that. It was him. Like I was finally seeing him without smeary glass in the way. And when he looked up I think he felt the same.”

“How does it feel? Now you’re properly…” As Cirrus spoke Cumulus made a hand gesture that just about passed for together but which was undeniably ruder, clearly meant to insinuate more.

“Amazing.” There was no other word for it. “Uh…”

Rain looked suddenly at Sunshine. As the only one amongst them not happily paired up he didn’t want to make her feel left out.

“Oh, don’t worry about me Cutie.” She dimpled at him. “I meant it, I’m not fussed about finding my mate. Besides, I’ve heard all kinds about you two. Sounds like this was long overdue.”

“All good?”

“Not in the slightest! But they’re right, this is cute to watch.” She had picked up the same cat-like smirk as the other two ghoulettes already, Rain noted.

“It really does feel amazing though. Somehow it’s like it’s not completely real and like it’s been a truth for years already at the same time. I feel like someone just turned a light on and I can see things that were hidden in shadows before.”

“Mates will do that to you.” Cirrus squeezed his hand.

“I keep expecting to feel doubt, like I’m waiting for the penny to drop or for this to all be a dream or something, but it’s not happening.”

There was not a single cell in him that doubted Dew even for a second, Rain realised. Even when he had needed to go off that morning despite Rain wishing he hadn’t, he hadn’t worried that Dew didn’t care. He knew that he had space in his heart for both Copia and the church and for him.

“That’s how it should be, Rainy.” Cumulus’ smile was so wide it seemed to encompass her whole body.

“That’s the thing with soulmates that no one ever seems to remember. It’s about more than just love. The certainty is the real blessing.”

The rest of the morning dragged by. The ghoulettes had tried to keep Rain occupied, sitting with him while they went through some new harmonies with Sunshine. They had wanted to go to the band wing to use the keyboards but Rain had been loathe to leave the Den in case Dew returned early. Instead they had stayed in the common room, Rain feeding them notes from the acoustic guitar he had been given but never normally used.

Most of the rest of the pack had been in and already left again by the time they all heard Dew get back, the door to the Den slamming open in his haste and hitting the wall with a thud.

“Bye Rainy!”

“Hi Dew!”

Cirrus and Cumulus chorused in unison while Sunshine silently caught the guitar before Rain could throw it to one side as he leapt to his feet.

He almost tripped over his own legs as he stumbled towards the door, meeting Dew at the threshold. Dew seemed to have heard the greeting from the room beyond, pausing a respectable distance away from Rain before leaning his head inside and catching sight of the three beaming ghoulettes, tails swishing behind them.

“Wanna go for a walk?” Rain asked him before he could even open his mouth.

The clear relief in Dew’s eyes answered for him.

He had clearly either jogged or power-walked back from the chapel, judging from how his chest was still heaving as they exited the Den. Neither of them were really looking where they were going, simply letting their feet guide them towards fresh air.

Rain’s hand itched to find Dew’s as they walked, could feel its heat radiating into the space between them. There was nothing to stop him taking it now, holding tightly and never letting go, so he did. Dew’s face that was already lit from within in joy softened further.

“I’m sorry you almost got the full ghoulette inquisition.” Rain said sheepishly as they stepped outside into bright sunlight that perfectly reflected his joyous mood.

“I’m sorry I had to go.” Dew’s eyes flicked down for a moment. “As soon as I left I knew I should have stayed. With you. But I’d promised Copia and I–”

“I know.” Rain said simply. “You promised him you’d be there so you were. I love that about you.”

There was a lot more besides that about Dew that he loved, Rain thought to himself, but he didn’t think he was ready to say all of that out loud yet. Despite how easy everything had been so far, Rain didn’t want to risk that stability by moving too fast.

They strolled around the grounds until they were certain the ghoulettes must have vacated the common room before heading back to sit on their patio. Even then they remained so close that they were almost on top of each other once again. It felt weird to not have some part of them in contact.

“I guess we should tell the rest of the pack at some point then.” Rain started,

Dew winced.

“Maybe they’ll just figure it out?”

“True. They probably all know by now, anyway. Cir and Lus have had, what, a few hours? Half the Abbey probably knows.”

Dew snickered quietly, leaning closer into Rain’s side almost subconsciously.

“It’s a good thing Mist knows already. She’d have our throats if she had to find out through the Abbey gossip network.”

Rain shivered, knowing he was right.

“I’d never be able to show my face in the lake again, that’s for sure!”

“I’ll never let her stop you.” Dew sounded so serious all of a sudden at even the slightest possibility of her hypothetically making Rain feel uncomfortable that he felt like maybe Dew really could relate to the immense depth of his own feelings right now.

He wanted to kiss Dew again with all the intensity of the night before but the light of the new day stopped him. Things couldn’t have changed overnight but the confidence of last night’s fervour had left him. Rain didn’t worry though; he knew it would surely return.

They drifted through the remainder of the day in a daze. If the rest of the pack hadn’t known about them before they certainly did now, judging from the looks they received at dinner.

Rain couldn’t tear his eyes from Dew any more than the fire ghoul could look away from him. Despite his earlier uncertainty it had indeed seemed purely natural when, returning from the dining hall, the pair had both drifted as though on autopilot towards Rain’s room. Dew hadn’t asked, so Rain hadn’t questioned it.

With the low sound of the door clicking shut behind them, Rain felt a similarly sudden twist in his gut. A pleasant one, however unexpected, like a lighter flicking to life with a small but determined flame. He looked at Dew from beneath his eyelashes, the flame burning hotter as his eyes settled on the ghoul, and found him already looking back with a similarly loaded expression.

The sudden intensity was almost too much for Rain, the small pilot flame now flashing over and making his insides twist in a mixture of desire and apprehension. Surely this was too much to feel so soon, despite how long they had been circling each other for. The longer his eyes remained on Dew though, the less he could find it in himself to care.

Now that the probing light of the sun was unable to enter the sanctuary of the bedroom with its heavy curtains and soft lamplight, the uncertainty of earlier faded. They were alone, together, and entirely free of expectations or pressures. This was a space and a time only for them. That soothed Rain slightly, let him properly feel the myriad of emotions and thoughts fighting their way to the front of his mind.

The burning want never calmed and yet his nerves did. This was Dewdrop. If the last few days had proved anything it was that there was nothing they couldn’t talk about, not when it came to this. Besides, the whole soulmates thing was as new to him as it was to Rain. Neither of them had experience with feeling this much this strongly.

“Do you–?”

“Yes.” Dew almost whispered, pressing a hand to his sternum. “I feel it too.”

Slowly the slight anxiety changed, metamorphosing into something else yet remaining painted with the same shimmer that the morning dewdrops left on the lawns.

“Everything feels so… big.” Rain inelegantly surmised.

Dew’s lips twitched into a smile.

“I think it would be strange if it didn’t.”

“How are you so calm?”

“Oh trust me. I’m not.” Dew caught hold of Rain’s hand and pressed it to where his own had been moments before.

Beyond the burning warmth of Dew’s skin through his shirt Rain could feel his heart beating hummingbird fast. Dew kept his hand pressed between his own and his chest as he leaned in closer.

“But I hope I never am.”

His other hand landed on Rain’s hip and the small points of contact were enough for Rain to feel entirely surrounded by his comforting warmth.

“I want to feel just like this, with you, forever.”

Rain melted, the warmth in his heart overflowing to fill his whole body. He answered by closing the tiny remaining distance between them, capturing Dew’s lips in a kiss he thought he would never tire of.

It was just as perfect as every one that had come before had been. Equally as intense as the first and just as full of tenderness as every soft look had been all day. It seemed to Rain that they had picked up where they left off the night before, the tentativeness of the day washed away by the all-consuming desire for closer of the evening prior. This time though there was no risk of interruption, no need to look over their shoulders or flinch at every sound in the corridor outside.

Dew walked Rain backwards towards the bed, slow enough for Rain to stop him should he want to.

He didn’t though, letting Dew guide him until he felt the softness of the bedclothes behind him. Rain almost expected Dew to keep moving and push him back onto the mattress but he stopped, suddenly struck with hesitation.

Rain sat anyway, his momentum making Dew lose his balance and stumble into him. Rain caught him with firm hands on his hips, his mind briefly screeching to a halt at the feeling of angular bones beneath hot skin, fully encompassed by his large hands.

Their eyes met and an unspoken conversation passed between them. Rain tightened his grip, holding Dew steady as he stared down with even greater intensity than before. The fire ghoul’s chest heaved with every deep breath; he looked almost wild with what was unmistakably unfiltered and unabashed want.

Rain pulled, effortlessly making Dew fall into his lap. Pleased with himself, Rain continued to manoeuvre them until Dew was knelt astride him, now smiling down in amusement.

“Happy?” The fire ghoul asked, voice dripping with fondness.

“Very.”

Rain craned his neck for another kiss and Dew met him halfway, warm hands flying to his face and a curtain of gold hair falling around them. He kept hold of Dew’s hips for dear life as the fire ghoul panted into his mouth, their lips sliding against the other’s in a way that was swiftly becoming familiar yet which Rain didn’t think he would ever tire of.

Dew’s breath was hot, coming in snatched pants as he kissed Rain like his mouth was making up for every sharp word it had spoken previously. Yet it felt like he was speaking new words too, soft ones conveyed only through the motions of their lips, silent promises for their infinite future.

It wasn’t just his breath that was hot either, Rain realised, nor only his mouth or his hips beneath his hands. Every part of Dew seemed to be radiating warmth, a small inferno in his lap only growing in intensity. Absently, Rain’s mind started to wonder how much hotter he could get before he and everything around them ignited. He thought burning alive in such a way, consumed by Dew and his fire, wouldn’t be the worst way to go.

With the feeling that he was flicking the lighter that would ignite them both, Rain shifted a thumb to graze the skin just above Dew’s waistband. It wasn’t just the heat or the softness of his skin that took Rain’s breath away but the sudden choked whimper that Dew made too. It seemed to take the fire ghoul by surprise just as strongly as it had Rain.

Rain paused, just for a second, and pulled back before they both realised in tandem that it wasn’t an unhappy sound; far from it. Dew’s eyes flickered open, his pupils blown so wide his eyes appeared almost entirely black.

Slowly Rain repeated the movement of his thumb, more purposefully this time. Dew shuddered, his eyelids fluttering slightly as another perfectly tortured sound fell from his lips. His gaze never left Rain’s though, even as his whole body tensed and then fell, his lips parting as it did so.

The intensity of the fire running through Rain almost scared him it was so strong, the bolt of lust at Dew’s reaction striking him and making his stomach twist so suddenly it made him gasp, doubling over slightly. He was still close enough to Dew to feel his hot breath on his face, even hotter now, yet another source of the overwhelming, all-encompassing heat.

Despite that, Rain’s skin broke out in goosebumps. Every point of contact between them now suddenly lit up as an entirely unnecessary extra reminder of Dew’s touch.

All of a sudden everything became too much, the need for Dew reaching a boiling point where Rain could do nothing but reach for more of him, arms circling around the fire ghoul’s body as he pressed his face against him, his nose digging into the jut of Dew’s collar bone. Still clutching Dew to him Rain threw himself backwards onto the bed, rolling them until Dew was pinned beneath him and gravity could take over the task of keeping them close.

Dew’s remaining breath left him in a huff as he hit the soft duvet, the rush of air muffling a squeak of shock. His look of surprise soon turned to a knowing smirk as Rain pushed himself up onto his arms to check he hadn’t hurt him in his sudden fervour. Rain fell back onto him, pressing Dew’s slight frame into the bed with his weight with an urgency that felt almost feral and nosing into the curve of his neck, breathing deeply to take in his cinnamon and wood-smoke scent.

His hands flew to settle on Rain’s back, claws digging ever so slightly into his skin as Rain heard him take another shuddering breath, felt the tickle of air passing his hair. Feeling almost drunk on Dew, Rain followed the path of his nose with his tongue. He licked a path from Dew’s collar bone up to the sharp edge of his jaw, drinking in the sound of the tiny whine bubbling up in Dew’s throat just as he did the taste of the skin covering it.

It was only when Dew’s hips twitched, the tiniest of small movements, that Rain realised just how worked up he had gotten. He paused again, feeling the heat of Dew’s thigh pressing into his growing hardness.

Rain longed to give in to the feeling, ached to chase the frissons of pleasure he could feel with each beat of Dew’s pulse, yet something inside him hesitated. It wasn’t a lack of desire; he could feel the unstoppable tide of that still pumping through his veins as though it rather than blood was fuelling him. It felt instead like the wave of affection crashing over him in that moment was simply stronger, his desire to just recapture Dew’s lips and hold him close overpowering the baser urge.

Such restraint wouldn’t last for long, he could sense that even as he rolled them so that Dew was laid beside him now, the release of pressure on his groin sending its own rush of sparks running through him. But for tonight, only the end of their first day of their forever, this was enough. He wanted to luxuriate in this blissful in-between state for just a little longer, feel the anticipatory excitement of the promise of what was to come.

Dew seemed to understand as he leaned back in, pressing first a chaste kiss to his lips that said all he didn’t need to with words before deepening a second one.

Time both passed and didn’t as they lay beside each other, their tongues trading knowledge about the other in the way they had done with words before. It seemed almost cruel when Rain began to feel tired, the excitement of the last few days finally catching up to him.

He failed to stifle a yawn, Dew following him only seconds later with a sympathetic one of his own.

“We should probably go to bed.” Dew said, disappointment clear in his voice.

Rain grumbled, stealing another kiss as he did so. Dew grinned against him, lips stretching wide as he chuckled against the water ghoul’s.

“I know.” He gave Rain the tiniest of pecks between his words before rolling off the bed and pulling Rain to his feet after him. “I don’t want to leave either, but I should.”

Rain pouted at him then, only half exaggerated, and Dew’s face looked like his world was collapsing.

“Just give me one more kiss goodnight?” Rain asked, not wanting to see him looking so distraught no matter the reason.

Dew’s hand flew to the back of his neck to pull him down to his level and Rain’s legs almost gave out.

The next morning couldn’t come soon enough. Rain almost skipped to the kitchen in his excitement, knowing Dew would more than likely be awake and there already.

Indeed he was, and Rain hovered in the doorway for just a second to watch him while he thought no one was looking, his face scrunched in concentration as he meticulously cut and laid out fruit. He didn’t get to watch for long however before Dew sensed his presence, his head flicking to the door and his face breaking out in a delighted smile beaming from ear to ear, his whole posture relaxing at the sight of the water ghoul.

“Morning.”

Even with the growing frequency of Dew’s full-body smiles Rain couldn’t help but delight in every one of them. Neither was he embarrassed to be caught watching.

Rain couldn’t resist showing off a little, raising his hands over his head and stretching, groaning a little as his back cracked. He had already found that he liked the attention he got from Dew back when they were still out on tour. Rain was mostly used to it in general, he knew he was not an unattractive ghoul by any standard, but it felt different to show off for Dew and see firsthand the effect he had on him. It felt like he was testing the waters for both of them, seeing how far he could push the building want before he stopped feeling any reservations and they both gave in.

Dew’s eyes were lower when Rain dropped his arms again, hovering where his sleep pants had drifted to sit further down on his hips. He did look slightly embarrassed when he remembered where they were though, hand flying to his mouth as though afraid to find drool waiting at the corner of his lips. Rain smirked to himself before taking pity on the ghoul.

“Good morning.” He purred, moving towards Dew and encircling him in his arms. “Sleep well?”

“Better if you’d been there.” Dew did say it out say it this time.

“Let me make up for that, then.” Rain kissed him softly at first before deepening it, filling the kiss with all the affection that had accumulated in every part of him which had missed Dew while sleeping.

All the shyness of the day before had gone now, replaced only by the deep pull of longing. Rain didn’t think he would ever be truly used to the feeling of Dew’s hot and eager lips on his, his desire for the fire ghoul still somehow growing stronger with every kiss. He didn’t even pay any mind to the possibly imminent appearance of the rest of their pack and nor did Dew seem to, all hesitancy or want for secrecy fading by the day.

No one did interrupt them though, even as they eventually broke apart again and Dew led him to sit outside in the pale yet warm light of the springtime sunshine. They shared the fruit in a silence that said more than words ever could, every traded mouthful carrying promises of the sweetness that would fill the days to come.

And full of sweetness those days were; so much so that Rain had to start to wonder if he was living entirely in a dream. Had he slipped and hit his head? Could this really be his life now?

Every doubt of that kind swiftly fell away whenever Dew touched him though. No dream could conjure such feelings within him; his subconscious mind simply could not have imagined the intensity of the affection for the fire ghoul that bubbled up within him whenever their eyes met.

The blood in his veins felt like it had been replaced with champagne, the fizzy feeling of swallowing the human drink replicated tenfold in the way his whole body felt effervescent every time Dew’s eyes crinkled in a smile, making him feel as though he was floating like the tiny golden bubbles.

They were both getting less shy with their affections, at least when no one was watching them. It just felt natural, like the other was an extension of themselves.

The familiarity didn’t counteract the delight Rain felt in every moment however, each cell in his body singing in delight when it was its turn to feel the warmth of Dew’s skin, to feel the soft press of his touch. Dew continued to find new ways to surprise him too, sweet gestures Rain hadn’t expected, torturous sounds escaping from his lungs when Rain kissed along his jawline just so.

Rain had damn near passed out when Dew had caught his chin in his hand, claws pressing just hard enough to make their presence known, and turned his head to face him. If he hadn’t already been seated he thought his knees would have buckled when Dew used his grip to capture his lips in a blistering kiss.

Even when Dew wasn’t trying he still managed to drive Rain wild with something that wasn’t entirely affection, nor lust, nor even cute aggression though.

A few short days later the water ghoul had entered the common room to see Dew hunched over a string cheese, peeling it into threads with surgical precision like he was pulling sinews from bone. He caught each one with his long tongue and after a few moments of staring Rain couldn’t help himself, launching himself at Dew and tackling him to the sofa.

The yelp Dew let out was one of pure shock, having been too engrossed in avulsing his snack to notice Rain’s arrival.

“What?” Dew coughed out as Rain’s body weight landed on him, knocking the air from his lungs.

“Lucifer, you’re cute.”

Rain buried his face in Dew’s side to avoid having to see the bemused and endeared expression he knew his words would have put on Dew’s face. He wanted to bite him. He filed that thought away for later though and instead crawled higher to kiss him.

The road ahead of them was wide, leading to greater highs than Rain had ever before imagined, both terrifying and alluring with an intensity previously unknown. Rain hadn’t known he could want this much yet he still wanted more. He wanted everything with Dew. Wanted forever with him.

༻△⋆₊˚.⛤△⛤.˚₊⋆△༺

Dew was so disgustingly content that he was almost embarrassed by it. He felt warm and fuzzy to a point that if it were anyone else he would have said they were being absolutely gross. Never before had he felt such a selfless affection, yet he wouldn’t have it any other way.

At the same time as he was bathing in the soft and fluffy feelings though, he was also categorically, undeniably, unbearably turned on by everything Rain. Dew couldn’t understand how he hadn’t seen it before, didn’t understand how anyone else couldn’t see it now because–

Rain…

The water ghoul occupied his every thought, making Dew feel overwhelmed with how much he wanted him in just about every way. He knew he needed to temper his overactive thoughts though, needed to take things slow and let Rain know how much it was him he liked and not just his body. Dew didn’t know too much about Rain’s past in the Pit but what he did know sounded painfully familiar. He knew that emotional connection was what Rain needed right now, even if it wasn’t Dew’s strong suit.

Besides, the one thing hotter than Rain’s physical form was Rain himself and everything that made the water ghoul who he was. Sweet, trusting, yet also a little vain and prone to sulking; every facet of his personality was one Dew found endearing or attractive in some way. His dreams were all full of Rain now. Even the ones that left him waking hot, flustered and unbearably aroused were still full of Rain’s smile, his wide-eyed wonder at the world filling Dew with a burning desperation to just wrap his arms around him and never let go.

The evenings they spent laid together, kissing like they were trying to map the exact position of every atom that made up the other’s mouth, weren’t helping. Dew constantly wanted more. He didn’t know if they were moving too fast or too slow: certainly compared to Ifrit and Zephyr they were practically dragging their feet. They were different ghouls though, things had seemed so simple for them.

Dew thought that Rain possibly had similar reservations to himself, although he didn’t know if they were for the same reasons. He had felt the water ghoul’s interest several times, firm and present against his thigh, but Rain had never made any move beyond that. It was a conversation they needed to have at some point, but one Dew wasn’t as afraid of as he thought he would be. He felt a deep sense of cosmic certainty that there was little he could say to scare Rain off now, yet their old uncommunicative habits died hard.

He didn’t have room to worry though because Rain was glued to Dew’s side as he went about his days, from breakfast until the moment they parted at night. In its own way, that was more than enough.

Rain had joined Dew in his duties one morning, sitting in the corner and watching while Dew talked with Copia and Terzo about other new music alongside the EP they were recording of Nihil’s old songs. Dew had fought to pay attention, genuinely interested in what the humans had to say and on giving his own input. However a part of his brain had remained locked onto every twitch of the water ghoul throughout.

He did his best to remain professional, ignoring the looks both Papas shot his way when they thought he was looking down at the music in front of them. Dew thought he was doing well even, at least for the most part.

“He’s the guy you wanna do…” Copia sung the next line under his breath, making a note on his manuscript as he did so.

Dew’s head instinctively flicked to look at the ghoul in the corner, finding Rain already staring back at him.

“See, your ghouls get it.” Terzo smirked.

He had clearly put two and two together about Dew and his marks by now, even if he hadn’t addressed the fire ghoul about it directly. It was obvious he felt bad for Aether, yet also that he knew enough about the ghouls’ customs not to blame Dew for any of it. He had had many pairs of bonded ghouls serving under him before after all.

Rain still blushed at the insinuation though and for the tiniest of split seconds Dew wondered if he was embarrassed. He saw the look the water ghoul sent his way however, eyes lowered and his lip caught between his perfectly sharp teeth. It sent a bolt of want racing along Dew’s spine, so strong he felt like he had been winded by it.

Suddenly Dew couldn’t care less about the music.

Dew found he was constantly catching himself from leaning into the ease of their new relationship and rushing things. He wanted to pounce on Rain and devour him; he felt insane with the need to, so much so that he assumed Rain couldn’t possibly feel the same way. So he continued to hold back a little, continued to make himself leave each night. Rain had never stopped him yet he always looked so sad saying goodnight that perhaps they were not so far off from each other after all.

Dew’s patience was tested a short while later when the ghouls were summoned to wardrobe. With a new era for Copia as Papa Emeritus IV came new uniforms for all of them.

He was a little apprehensive as they walked over: the last switch up had been so dramatic, the loose tunics giving way to the tight pants and suspenders, that he couldn’t imagine the direction they would take this time. Dew had known Copia was working on ideas but the man had been particularly coy about them, always hurriedly hiding his notes when Dew came by his study.

Still, the excitement was thick in the air as the pack made their way over. No one was more exuberant than Sunshine though, the new ghoulette practically bouncing up and down as they walked. Dew supposed it was in part excitement at receiving her first uniform driving her more than anything, but that didn’t make her enthusiasm any less endearing. It was fun to watch a new ghoul navigate the things that had become mundane to him, doubly so this time now that they weren’t simultaneously coping with the removal of their summoner.

Dew couldn’t focus on her for long though, not once they started trying on the new costumes. Even on the hanger he had been intrigued, the unique cut of the pants and heavily embellished jacket with an almost skeletal detailing down the spine giving off a very different first impression to their suit-like outfits of before.

“Of course the biggest change is your new masks.” Tuning back in, Dew realised that the Brother in charge had been speaking to the pack for a while. “Helmets, really. Now that Papa Emeritus the Fourth is no longer a cardinal we wanted all of you to appear visually distinct from previous eras, so that the congregation really understands that this is a new Papa with a new look.”

An assistant wheeled in another rack as he spoke on which sat an almost identical array of round leather helmets with strange, bug-like protrusions where the eye holes should be and ridged pipes curving around the sides. The bulbous shapes couldn’t have been more different that the shiny metal of the masks they normally wore, like Sunshine was still wearing now. The Brother picked one up, turning it to show the lace fastening in the back.

“How’re we meant to see out of them?” Swiss asked, as suspicious of them as Dew was.

“The eyes and their surroundings are mesh.” The man explained, pointing. “You’ll be able to see just fine. They slightly limit your peripheral vision, but really not too much worse than the old masks.”

He was met with several narrowed gazes but the ghouls accepted their individual hangers and shuffled off to change without further question.

It wasn’t until Dew was behind the curtain of the makeshift dressing rooms that he got a good look at the costume up close. The jacket really was beautiful, the militaristic influences fitting well with what he had heard of Copia’s new music so far. The same went for the boots; they also looked perfect for stomping about the stage in, similar to his own pair that he had worn out and about in the human world on the last tour. Dew couldn’t fault the way Copia committed when he had a strong vision.

Even more exquisite was the waistcoat, the brocade fabric more beautiful the closer he looked at it. It even went some of the way towards making up for the disappointing lack of suspenders. The shirt was nothing out of the ordinary aside from the flouncy cuffs which Dew knew immediately would be a hit with Rain. In fact, he thought the water ghoul owned several shirts just like it already, only in lighter colours.

At first glance the pants were another disappointment, no longer borderline-obscene in their tightness. Dew allowed himself just a second to mourn their loss, or more specifically the loss of the sight of Rain in them on stage. Pulling them off their hanger he found a lace-up detailing in the back, an interesting touch but one that was also otherwise unremarkable to him.

Once Dew had them on though, along with the baggy shirt and tight waistcoat, he could appreciate the pants more. Something about the cut of them made him look taller, bigger, more the imposing ghoul he acted like for their audience. He felt strangely confident, powerful even.

Putting on the jacket and large boots only added to his grudging acceptance that he really did like these uniforms already, at least on himself. The only thing he wasn’t a huge fan of was the strange cape, buckling it over his chest and disliking how it seemed to drown him with its size.

Nevertheless he couldn’t deny that it made for a visually striking accessory, and Dew was full of confidence as he strode back out for the wardrobe siblings to fuss over the fit of everything. Already dressed were Aether and Cirrus, the latter prancing around with her cape, swirling it like a matador at a bull. Aether looked happier than Dew had seen him in a while, stood up straight with his shoulders back.

“Suits you, Aeth.” Dew smiled hesitantly, still a little unsure how to act around him now. “Copia’s dressed us properly for our guitar battles, at last.”

“You too.” Aether’s face softened. “He’s really upped the budget, eh?”

“He sure has!” Cumulus crowed, also emerging now and beelining straight for Cirrus, cape held out in one hand like a peacock making itself look more impressive for its mate. “We get capes now!”

Both Dew and Aether couldn’t help but laugh at their antics as they began circling each other, Sunshine racing out to join them too.

“They’re not trying to summon any more ghouls are they?” Mountain asked conversationally, materialising behind Dew. “Copia’s going to struggle with eight of us as it is.”

“I wouldn’t put it past them.” Aether chuckled.

Dew was unable to pay attention to their conversation any longer though, because at that moment Rain ducked out from behind his curtain.

The jacket, already looking good on Dew, Aether and the others, looked like it had been made specifically for Rain. The epaulettes on the shoulders appeared almost comically large on his already broad frame. Beneath it the pants had the same effect, the extra fabric puffing out around the thighs only making him look even bigger.

Even the way the boots hugged his calves was maddening, clinging tightly to them with a completeness that Dew felt strangely jealous of. A thought that he wanted to lick the smooth, supple leather crossed his mind. That was a new one for him to unpack far, far away from the pack and humans though.

Dew could feel that his mouth had fallen open at the sight of him but couldn’t engage the muscles necessary to rectify the fact. His brain was more interested in locking his eyes onto the strap of the cape stretching across his chest, tracking its minute rise and fall with each of the water ghoul’s breaths. It didn’t look too large on him, nor like the comical prop the ghoulettes still dancing in a circle had made of theirs. Instead it was just one more endlessly elegant extension of himself hanging down at his side like a single wing, balanced to him and yet still dramatic. Dew wanted him to wrap it around them, to hide from the amused stares of their pack while he appreciated the rest of the new costume on him up close.

Just as Dew had expected the floaty sleeves of the shirt, poking out from beneath the zipped cuffs of the jacket, looked as though they had been designed around his personal style. Dew couldn’t help but resent how long they were though, partially concealing his elegant hands below. He had spent more hours than he was willing to admit staring at Rain’s dexterous fingers as they ran over the fretboard and strings of his bass, so the veil now around them would surely be equally as alluring as it was infuriating.

A welcome distraction came in the form of Swiss, ready at last and strutting out of the cubicle like the rest of the room was his runway and he the star model. Everything about the costume suited him too, the exaggerated silhouette perfectly matching the swagger he moved with.

“Hey, this is nice!” He crowed, striking a series of heroic and dramatic poses as though to demonstrate the increased flexibility of the pants.

The multi ghoul lapped up the praise and cheers of the others as he danced up to them, shimmying the epaulettes at Mountain and Aether as he passed by in a wide circle. The way Aether laughed at his antics sounded so perfectly carefree, Dew had to hope it was truly genuine.

“Alright, everyone’s ready, fantastic!” The brother clapped his hands now the pack were all assembled, even the more excitable members eventually falling into line.

He passed out the helmets one by one, showing them how to adjust the straps and laces for a snug fit. Dew bobbed his head from side to side, getting used to the weight of it. He saw Rain mirroring his motions back at him from where he had reattached himself to Dew’s side, eliciting a snicker from the fire ghoul.

They continued to hold each others gaze through the disconcerting bug-eyes while the others were called forward for adjustments to their costumes. There was talk of a small tuck here, a let down hem there, yet nothing could distract them from looking at the other.

Dew didn’t care if Rain or most of the rest of the pack called him out on his obvious staring; the only ghoul he didn’t want to rub his newfound happiness in the face of was Aether. Thankfully he too seemed suitably distracted by the whole process, enough that Dew didn’t feel like he had to police his own actions too much.

“There’s one slight problem with these helmets.” Dew murmured quietly to the water ghoul beside him before miming licking his guitar’s fretboard.

His tongue was barely visible underneath it, the larger body of the new mask extending further from his face and restricting his more feral on-stage behaviours. From the low whine that slipped from Rain’s throat it was clear he was genuinely upset by this discovery.

Dew didn’t get a chance to fully internalise that fact before he was being called forward so the costuming team could poke and prod first at the fit of the jacket, then after removing that at the rest of his outfit. They pulled hard at the laces on his helmet, tightening it as much as it would go. Dew tried to pretend he couldn’t feel Rain’s eyes following and lingering on every one of the humans’ touches, that he wasn’t watching him like a hawk through the shield of the bug-eyes of the mask.

It was probably good for all involved that his gaze was camouflaged; Dew couldn’t imagine the siblings would take well to what he sensed was a barely contained murderous jealousy. Likewise he wasn’t sure how he could be expected to remain all these meters away from Rain if he could see the look on his face unobstructed. As it was, the water ghoul’s thoughts hung in the air like a thick smoke. Dew could vaguely see out of his limited peripheral vision that some of the others were also watching them with unconcealed amusement.

“Alright! Your turn Rain.”

Dew was shaken from his reverie by a clap on the shoulder as he was dismissed. He removed his helmet as he rejoined the others, realising too late that he should probably have kept it on to conceal his flushed face. He felt what Rain must have done while watching him, wanted to bite off every finger that prodded and poked at his water ghoul. Dew kept himself in check though, simply standing a bit too still and staring a bit too intensely.

That was until Rain took the jacket off.

He couldn’t stop the choked sound that ripped from his chest. The jacket had only been hiding the real spectacle of the costume beneath it. Now, the full effect of the puffy sleeves and baggier thighs could be seen, making Rain appear huge. Contrasted with that though was the waistcoat, fitted tightly to his body and emphasising the curve of his waist. Dew’s mouth went dry as Rain twisted from side to side, checking his range of movement.

Rain raised an arm to support his helmet, the cuff finally falling back to reveal his hand beneath it like the most personal strip tease. The fabric flowed around him with every one of his own impossibly fluid movements, making Dew almost want to weep at the thought that this beautiful creature wanted him and him alone.

He didn’t get to dwell on that for long though as when Rain was directed to turn slightly, Dew’s mind promptly fell offline.

Somehow, through a simultaneous blessing and curse the like of which only He Himself could have bestowed upon him, the new pants were even greater at highlighting the water ghoul’s ass than the old tight ones had been. Dew saw at last the purpose of the lacing down the back of the pants: it was there to torment him personally, setting in front of him the greatest temptation any ghoul had ever had to face. The tight waistcoat only further emphasised the arch of his spine, such a sinful swoop that Dew began to feel lightheaded.

The sound of Cumulus whistling at him in appreciation faintly filtered into his consciousness but it was barely audible over the sound of Dew’s blood pounding in his ears in a deafening roar. His vision had narrowed to a tunnel that only included Rain, the rest of the world falling away. Even though he was partly facing away Dew could still feel his eyes looking straight at him through the darkness of the new mask.

Eventually released after yet more adjustments that only served to make the fit of the costume all the more deadly, Rain stalked back towards Dew like the final arbiter of his fate. The fire ghouls knees shook slightly as he pulled off his helmet, shaking out his shoulder-length waves like any one of the eye-candy actors in the movies Rain liked so much.

Without the obstruction their eyes locked, the look loaded with so much more than Dew had the words to describe. How could this ghoul be real, let alone staring back at him with blown pupils belying a similar hunger to that which he felt?

Swiss was again the one to shatter the tension and Dew had to at least be partly grateful that by stepping in he had avoided him having to explain to Copia why his entire, brand new costume had spontaneously gone up in flames.

“Well, I think Dew might just be the luckiest ghoul ever.” He said with a hearty laugh.

Dew would be inclined to agree. A possessiveness buried not far beneath the surface of his mind still flared at Swiss’ acknowledgement of the fact however.

Rain reached his side again at that moment, gaze alternating between boring into Dew’s and very unsubtly looking him up and down. It was all Dew could do not to grab him by the skull-adorned necktie and pull him down to his level for a searing kiss. He could think of no other response that even came close to conveying the disbelief and wonderment he felt knowing that this beautiful creature wanted him too.

He settled instead for returning his unblinking look, eyes dragging slowly from Rain’s smirking face to the shiny leather of his boots and back up.

“Yeah, I think I am.”

Dew continued staring at Rain even while the rest of the pack snickered their way through their own fittings with the slightly bemused siblings. At some point Rain’s tail had unglamoured itself and wriggled out through the strings at the back of the pants to wave to and fro behind him, swishing with greater indignation whenever anyone else looked at Dew.

The fire ghoul was totally enamoured. Rain didn’t seem to be entirely aware of the slip-up and somehow that only made the whole spectacle all the more wonderful. He wanted to feel bad being so happy in front of Aether but even he was smiling softly at Rain’s obliviousness to his own behaviour, the pair’s shared delight almost contagious in its strength.

Wisely, the pack left them alone on the walk back to the Den. Dew had been loathe to leave Rain’s side even to change out of their uniforms but he also knew better than to think he could restrain himself much longer. They were both redressed in record time, even if Rain’s buttons were out of step.

“We’ll leave dinner leftovers in the fridge.” Mountain chuckled as Rain practically dragged Dew in the direction of his room.

“You like the new costumes, then?” Dew asked, already a little breathless, as Rain kicked the door closed behind him.

All he got from Rain in response was a low growl, one almost bordering on feral, before Rain had him pinned to the door by his hips. He kissed him with a ferocity rivalled only by Dew’s own as he grabbed for the water ghoul and clung on for dear life.

Dew could taste the pent up desire pouring off of Rain, recognised it as the same fire that had filled him since Rain had first stepped out from behind the dressing room curtain. It was so much, too much, the kind of all-encompassing feeling that overflowed all of his senses. He could see nothing but Rain beyond his closed eyelids, could hear nothing but the roar in his ears and the unabashed smacking of their lips. Every nerve ending cried out in delight or longing as Dew let himself drown in Rain and his saltwater tang.

It bubbled out of him in a low cry coming from the depths of his chest. Tuned in to every part of the fire ghoul despite his own hunger, Rain paused for just a second. That was all Dew needed to push him backwards a few steps, just until they reached the bed. Rain hummed in slight question, protesting the sudden disappearance of Dew from his lips.

“Too tall.” Dew managed in explanation. “Wanna kiss you proper.”

He hadn’t considered that a problem before, Rain’s height being just one of many things he found mind-haltingly hot about the water ghoul, but right now he wished there were slightly fewer inches between them. Maybe in his new stage boots he would be closer to Rain’s natural height, a tiny voice contemplated. For now though, this was the simpler fix.

Dew pushed him back onto the bed, the water ghoul moving willingly even as he bounced slightly. Wasting no more time, Dew followed, kneeling astride his hips so their mouths were perfectly aligned.

He kissed Rain with even more force than before, groaning in delight as their lips fell straight back into their perfectly imperfect rhythm. Dew’s hair fell around them, pooling and mixing with Rain’s waves spread across the pillow just as the small sounds he was pulling from Rain mixed and harmonised with his own.

Licking deeper into Rain’s mouth Dew began to lose himself, any remaining restraint disintegrating in the face of such untempered desire. Between gasps for air Rain’s hands flew up to hold onto Dew’s waist, long fingers settling perfectly into the space between his ribs and his hip bones as though they had been made to fit together.

They both groaned in perfect synchronicity when Rain squeezed, just a little but enough to send their minds reeling. The kiss turned sloppier as Dew’s thighs gave out and he let Rain bear his weight, the pair of them more so just breathing into each others mouths now.

Dew ran a hand up the side of Rain’s face, his fingertips lingering on the cool smoothness of the water ghoul’s skin before burying themselves in his hair. Rubbing small circles into the base of his horn with his thumb elicited the most delicious keen Dew had ever heard so he did it again, curling his fingers to tug gently on his hair.

Rain’s involuntary noises were the sweetest music to Dew’s ears, more beautifully melodic than anything he had heard in his years topside or in the Pit. They sung a siren’s song, a call so alluring he wanted to dive in deeper until they were the only sounds that filled his ears, until the pressure on his eardrums grew too much and they could burst through to fill every crevice of his brain.

He played Rain as he would his guitar, acquainting himself with all the sounds he could make now, figuring out how to get him to sing just so. Dew couldn’t wait for the day he learned how to make him wail.

With the intention of pulling another delightfully high pitched mewl from him, Dew encircled his other horn with his fingers, dragging them all along its length. Instead Rain’s hips bucked wildly as he did so, the choked sound emanating from his throat matching Dew’s own at the sudden and unignorable sign of just how he was affecting the water ghoul.

As suddenly as he had moved, Rain then froze. His hands never let go of Dew but they loosened their grip just slightly in question.

Deliberately, unmistakably, Dew ground his own hips down onto Rain, groaning lowly as he properly felt the full length of Rain’s hardness through the layers of fabric separating them. Rain’s grip on him tightened, holding on for dear life and simultaneously clutching Dew tightly against him like he was afraid of losing him. His tail too came to wind around Dew’s thigh, squeezing him in its own, desperate way.

A shaky, shuddering breath fell from Rain’s lips, one that Dew eagerly swallowed down.

“Do you feel it too?” Dew whispered. It was his turn to ask the question, only this time he thought he already knew the answer.

“What?” Rain held him impossibly tighter, as though by clinging to him he could keep hold of the the last vestiges of conscious thought just long enough to form an answer.

“This… fire. All I want so much… And it feels–”

There were no words that could adequately describe the intensity of everything Dew was feeling so he instead tried to name the cause of his lingering hesitancy, to speak aloud what was stopping him from giving into every powerful urge.

“Not too soon but… Faster than everything else has been.”

“No, I feel it too.” Rain said softly. “It’s slightly mad how strongly I do.”

“I can still hardly believe this is real…”

Rather than answer Dew with words Rain flipped them, effortlessly pushing Dew into the soft mattress and laving a row of kisses to his jawline in one fluid motion.

“Real yet?” Rain breathed against his skin.

“Hmm,” Dew grinned, “I think you should keep checking.”

Rain’s teeth pressed to the thin skin of his neck, not hard enough to hurt but just enough to make their presence known. Beneath them, Dew’s breath hitched.

They didn’t stay there long though, Rain’s lips soon pressing softness to the spot where sharp had threatened before trailing back up to meet Dew’s.

“Seems pretty real to me.” Rain whispered.

Despite that, Dew still felt like he needed to pinch himself, like he was caught in the most perfect dream. He didn’t though; he didn’t want to ever wake up if it was.

With Rain above him now, Dew felt totally surrounded by him. The cool planes of his body pressed against his own, firm and strong in all the ways that made Dew’s heart beat faster. From the way he angled his hips away it was clear they were both still holding back somewhat, although more out of habit than any actual desire to wait for more.

But, Dew wondered, what would they really gain in the immediate chase for physical pleasure? Certainly nothing that could compare to the satisfaction his soul felt from everything else right now. That didn’t mean he wanted to stop kissing Rain though, so he didn’t.

He threw his arms over Rain’s shoulders, holding him close and using the leverage to raise his hips again, grinding into Rain’s carefully positioned thigh more as a reassurance that he was still into it than in an actual chase of sensation. Dew also wanted Rain to know the depth of his desire for him, needed him to know there wasn’t anything he didn’t want from him.

Neither ghoul made any move to undress themselves or the other, despite the earlier fervour the costumes had whipped them up into. Both were content as they were, continuing this new and wondrous closeness as they familiarised themselves with the other’s sweet sounds.

It was clear to Dew that they were both still holding tightly to the promise for more later while also allowing it a long lead, basking in each and every new feeling and sensation. It was obviously taking all of Rain’s strength to hold back and Dew didn’t want to push him into having to choose between the desires of his mind and body.

Everything could wait. They had eternity.

Eventually they did reluctantly separate though, both clearly trying to calm down slightly. As if making up for one lost point of contact with another, their tails quickly found one another, spiralling together in their own braided embrace. Dew took deep, shuddering breaths, feeling the rise and fall of Rain’s chest above his as he did the same.

He really did need to do something about how worked up he was, but equally had no desire to make his first time with Rain such a hasty affair. The water ghoul deserved so much more than the rushed urgency Dew could feel was on the edge of consuming him, Dew needed to make sure he knew with every fibre of his being that he was more than just a hot piece of ass, or however else Dew suspected he had been reduced to feeling before.

There was a time to show Rain just how distractingly hot Dew thought the new costumes were on him, but that was not now. That wasn’t until Dew had had a chance to tell Rain just how truly perfect the whole of him was.

“I should go.” Dew said hesitantly into the space between them.

Rain looked almost guilty, twitching as though making sure he was not touching Dew in any way he hadn’t meant to.

“Did I–?”

“No, no.” Dew sighed. “It’s just if I don’t I… I just don’t wanna rush things, not with you.”

“I get it. Me too.” Rain seemed to take a moment to fully take in his words, but when he did he smiled softly. “Same as always then, tomorrow morning?”

He sat up slowly as he spoke, somehow and with incredible strength pulling Dew upright with him.

“Yeah.” Dew gave him one last peck of a goodnight kiss. “Of course. Night Rain. I lo– I hope you sleep well.”

It pained Dew to leave him, but he knew deep down he needed to if he was going to stand by his assertion not to rush what came next. Rain deserved time and romancing, not a hasty quickie born entirely of lust. Dew wanted nothing more than to make sure Rain knew how loved he was, purely for himself.

In the meantime, Dew needed a shower.

⋆𝒬.˚₊☽☆.⟡ 𝒬 ⟡.☆☾₊˚.𝒬⋆

Aether couldn’t deny that it was hard to see Dew and Rain so happy, even more so than he had expected. It pained him to see that rare, wide smile of Dew’s being for someone other than him now.

And yet he also couldn’t say he wasn’t delighted to see Dew smiling again regardless, even if it hurt.

He didn’t think he even needed his quintessence to see how happy Dew was now, he barely even needed his eyes. The ghoul was radiating joy in a way Aether had never seen before, a way he doubted even Dew was aware of. The weight he had carried his whole adult life had lifted, the clouds it cast over him had blown away.

Still, it was clear Dew was trying to shield him from having to see too much of his new happiness. He made sure to maintain a respectful distance from Rain whenever Aether was around, the pair trying their best to be subtle in how they sprung apart when he entered the room. It didn’t quite work though; the magnetism between them was so strong it was impossible not to see. Aether almost wished they weren’t trying to hide it, feeling worse about disrupting them than he would have felt seeing them unbothered and free.

Living in the shadows of Dew’s joy forever wouldn’t do anything but make Aether miserable, he knew that. So in the times when he wasn’t by Terzo’s side, relishing in the return of his original summoner, or out keeping quiet company with Cowbell, he had tried to join in with the rest of his pack again. He had good days and bad days, the number of each slowly beginning to skew in the favour of better ones.

Sunshine had continued to live up to her name, her open curiosity refreshing in a way Aether couldn’t have anticipated. She was surely helping, seeing things through her fresh eyes working to sweep away more of the cobwebs of gloom that grew in the corners of his mind when he wasn’t looking. As much as she seemed happy enough to tag along with anyone who had a task she could learn from, however mundane, Aether didn’t want to monopolise her time though.

Tonight she was hanging out with Cirrus and Cumulus and as welcome as he knew he would be if he asked, Aether was loathe to interrupt them. Instead he had gone to seek out his other packmates. Mountain and Swiss always made time for him. Their recent care had been what it took for him to reemerge from his mental solitude and make him feel like his old self again, even if only just for a while.

He found them sat smoking on the patio, lit only by the light from inside the Den. Aether could see them through the french windows as soon as he entered the common room, close together on the weather-beaten bench. They hadn’t seen him yet, lost in conversation.

Against his better judgement, he turned back. Logically he knew he wouldn’t be interrupting anything: Mount wasn’t interested in any relationship like the other pairs around them or like he had once had with Dew, he knew that. That didn’t stop him from feeling superfluous, in the way, however, even knowing how patient they had been with him recently.

They were clearly happy alone. Aether wasn’t necessary. What was it Terzo used to say of his brothers, two is a couple; three are a crowd?

Swiss’ warm, loud laugh echoed through the doors.

Aether would only bring the mood down.

The silhouette of Mountain’s antlers dipped slightly in laughter too.

They were better off without him.

Their recent efforts to include him were only out of duty.

His feet carried him out of the Den before he could command them.

Aether’s breathing and heart rate didn’t change; none of this was a shock or a revelation. It was just things he already knew to be true crystallising into fact before him. That didn’t stop his lament spilling out, a dark mass of quintessence condensing into heavy smoke around him as he stepped outside.

He went to the only place he still felt needed. Wanted, even. Cowbell always welcomed his presence, even without words. Maybe that would change if they ever reemerged and interacted with other ghouls besides him, and in his absence Mist, but the solitary earth ghoul felt as stable as their element. Aether didn’t sense that they would be they type to be so mercurial as to move beyond him too.

They surely sensed him coming, as Aether felt tendrils of their consciousness reaching through the smog towards him in concern. It was the most lucid he had felt them so far, Aether dimly realised as he sunk into his usual spot in the dirt. It was dark out here, lit only by the faint crescent of a waning moon, yet their thoughts were as clear as bright daylight.

What’s wrong?

The question cut through Aether’s gloom like a knife. The ghoul caught hold of the tear and pulled, ripping their way into his mind as strongly as though they were physically positioning themselves in front of him, placing themselves in his eyeline to directly capture his attention. Aether closed his eyes, but only the shadows of the grounds faded away; the ghoul’s presence stayed clear.

Aether?

The quintessence ghoul waved a hand dismissively. He had done enough venting to Cowbell before; he didn’t need to bother them even more than he already had. Even just being here now while they had no way to avoid him felt like imposition enough. He didn’t mean to bring everyone around him down, but he didn’t know how to keep the deep sadness that had festered inside of him since the day he lost his mate hidden either.

No.

He felt the door he was leaned against shake; Cowbell must be really irritated, telling him to stop moping, to get over himself. Aether knew he was no fun to be around right now. Cowbell was clearly going through something and yet here he was, making everything about himself and his own problems again.

Aether scooted forward. At the very least he could stop leaning against Cowbell’s current home, could give them some separation from the increasingly thick cloud of gloom around him. That must be what they wanted.

Never.

Their voice was even clearer now, to the point that Aether thought he was hearing them not only in his head but with his ears too. They must be so annoyed. He hauled himself back to his feet; maybe Terzo needed help with something despite the late hour. That might help him take his mind off things until the pack had gone to bed and he could slink back to the silent emptiness of his room.

He hoped Cowbell could forgive him, hoped they would still want to talk once he was in a better mood, yet a nagging part of him still doubted it.

Aether couldn’t resist one final glance back at the potting shed though.

I think Dew and Aether get pregnant completely on accident.

They’ve wanted a kit for a while but it never seemed like the right time and Dew wasn’t sure about being the pregnant one.

But, Dew missed his hormone blocker one month because of a supply issue and ended up getting pregnant.

To start with they felt okay. His flat chest and baby bump felt really androgynous to them.

But, then their chest started to swell. It was small enough to glamour away to start with and then he didn’t have to deal with it, but it soon got bigger and that became impossible.

Their dysphoria got even worse when he started to express milk too…

Dew was quite depressed about it in the last trimester and couldn’t bring himself to nurse the little Ghoulette once she was actually born.

It’s not like Dew needed much encouragement to go to bed with Rain. He loves his water ghoul, as much as his water ghoul loves him. They’re together most nights and have done a whole host of things that would make Satan proud - multiple times. But some things are more fun than others. 

Rain’s ability to breathe underwater had proven to be one of their favorite things to exploit here, Dew having learned that back when he was a water ghoul himself. He gladly imparted that knowledge on Rain and offered to help him practice. 

By this point, they were seasoned professionals and that’s what finds them here, laid down in their bed, nude, but for the edge of the blanket twisted across their legs, with Dewdrop straddling Rain’s lap, laid across his chest, kissing languidly as they take each other apart. In no rush but still, somehow, desperate. 

“Dew..” Rain pants, breaking their kiss to look at him with dark eyes, heavy with lust. Pupils wide and inky, black nearly overtaking blue. 

“Yes, Rain, the answer is yes. Whatever you want.” Dew chuffs, rubbing his face against Rain’s cheek. Scenting him. Inhaling the familiar notes of damp moss, musk, and Rain. A purr starts up in his chest as Rain’s silky webs trace patterns down his back, causing a pleasant shiver to roll down his body. Cool skin against warm, the perfect balance, something he will never quite get used to.

“Need you.” Rain rolls his hips against Dew as he speaks, and he feels every inch of how much Rain wants him. He’s hard beneath him, has been for a while, but hasn’t taken advantage of their position. Now, Dew can see the need behind his eyes, knows what he wants. His cunt clenches as he thinks about it, wet already. Anticipating. 

“I’m yours, baby. You have me.” Dew purrs back, as Rain suddenly shifts his hands to grip his ass, pulling Dew forward with a yelp, until he’s perched on his knees just above Rain’s face. Hovering there so as not to smother his mate. 

Rain’s hands have a firm grip on his hips, holding him firmly in place as he stretches his neck up to tease Dew’s folds with his tongue. When Rain’s tongue slips inside to taste, Dew nearly loses his tenuous balance. 

Dew groans, head tossed back, long waves cascading down his spine, tickling Rain’s fingertips. Rain’s eyes open to watch Dew as he struggles to not sink down, and fails, as his thighs start to shake.

Rain can’t wait. He needs Dew to give up the fight already and just sit on his face. He’s beyond ready and wants to bury himself in Dew, the need to consume him taking over his every thought. 

And then, Dew loses the fight, his thighs giving out and he sinks down, finally giving Rain what he wants most. The groan that escapes Rain as Dew’s slick drips into his mouth is more sinful than anything Dew’s ever heard and his hips involuntary hitch forward, rubbing his clit across the slope of Rain’s nose, and oh does that feel good. The broad tip bumping against him in a way he couldn’t have imagined would be this stimulating.

Between his thighs, he feels Rain’s gills flare as he breathes through the slits along his neck and ribs, and knows he’s in for it as Rain’s tongue flicks across his most sensitive parts. Huffing out breaths of air as he struggles to maintain his composure, and fails again as he feels Rain shift and his nose rub against his stiff little cock again. Suddenly, Dew’s body takes over and he rolls his hips as Rain’s tongue presses in, licks just a little deeper and he ruts against Rain’s nose on purpose this time. The friction just enough to have him seeing stars, as he rocks forward, Rain’s hands on his hips encouraging him to move, rocking him back and forth, creating a rhythm that’s going to have them both coming sooner rather than later.

Dew knows, from his own time as a water ghoul, that it’s impossible for Rain to suffocate like this but he still wants to make sure Rain is ok. He shifts to pull away, but Rain’s claws press in to the tender pads of fat along his hips, his grip tightening on Dew and a deep growl sends vibrations through Dew’s throbbing cunt, making him clench around Rain’s tongue. 

“When's the last time you took your binder off?”

Phantom flinches at the question, tries not to look like he's about to be caught in a lie. He doesn't take his eyes off the tv screen, this is a very serious game of Mario Kart. Dew is unimpressed by his attempt at ignoring the question and walks up to him, hits the button on the controller he knows will pause the game.

“Look me in the eyes, Phantom.”

His tone is commanding, there's no escape possible. The quintessence ghoul sets the controller by his side on the couch and looks up at the fire ghoul. 

“When’s the last time you took your binder off?”

He repeats, annoyance evident in his tone.

“Last night. I don't sleep in it, like you told me to.”

Phantom knows that's not entirely what he meant but he'll be damned (well… more than he already is) if he doesn't try to deflect.

“You know full well that's not what I meant. When's the last time you took a day off from it? And don't even think about lying, I'm the one who does your laundry.”

Phantom shifts in his seat, already done with the conversation. He's not fond of Dew babying him like this all the time.

“Why do you ask, if you already know?”

“Becauuuuse” the fire ghoul starts, crossing his arms over his chest “I want you to be the one to tell me what you're doing to your body. You might not like it but it's the only one you got.”

The younger ghoul slumps back against the couch and rolls his eyes. “I dunno, a week maybe?”

“Try two weeks.”

“Can't have been that long…”

“It has.” Dew's tone gets more firm as he steps fully in front of the other ghoul. Satanas, they can be stupid when they're so fresh. “You need to take days off from it, you can't just wear it for weeks like that.”

“Why not? I'm not sleeping in it, like you said. I'm not wearing it for longer than eight hours, like you said. I'm not doing physical labor in it, like you said. Feels like everything should be fine!”

“Are you trying to fuck up your ribs forever? Because it feels like you're trying to fuck up your ribs forever.”

“I'm trying not to want to jump off the abbey's roof. I thought you understood that well enough.”

Dew takes a deep breath and leans forward to rest his hands on Phantom's shoulder. His eyes focus on the quintessence ghoul's, who refuses to meet his gaze. He tries to soften his voice before he speaks again.

“I do understand, baby boy. But I can't let you be reckless with your own health like that. You gotta take it off now.”

Phantom lets out a sigh before bringing his eyes up to Dew. “I don't like the way it feels when I don't have it on. Especially now, it just… it's just been worse recently.”

“I know, baby. I know. Come, let me show you a thing or two that might help.”

He takes Phantom's hand in his own and gently coaxes him up, pulling him to the fire ghoul's room. He orders him to sit on the bed and take off his shirt and binder while Dew rummages through the drawers in his dresser for something. The quintessence ghoul is slow to obey but he eventually does, taking his t-shirt to hide himself once his top half is bare. 

Dewdrop makes a triumphant noise when he finally finds what he's looking for and turns back to the younger ghoul sitting uncomfortably on the edge of his bed. He raises an eyebrow at him.

“You do know I've seen you naked before, right? Like… multiple times.”

“Like I said… it's been worse.”

Dew's eyes soften on him, he remembers all too well what it was like to get those periods where even acknowledging the two mounds (more like knobs, really, in his own case) of flesh on his chest was too much to bear. “It's okay. You know we're working hard to get a date scheduled. In the meantime, you have to make sure you take care of your stupid lungs.”

He walks back to the bed, piece of fabric in hand and presents it to Phantom. “It's a sports bra. It doesn't do the same job as a binder at all but it'll help on days where you can't wear it. Rain wears one almost all the time now, just 'cuz it's more comfortable.”

Phantom takes it from Dewdrop and takes a moment to examine the piece. It's black and stretchy, but a firm stretch. The straps are thinner than he's used to, he thinks it might become a sensory issue but he wills himself to pull it over his head.

Dew's right, it doesn't do the same job as a binder, but it does help make his chest appear smaller. And it's a lot more comfortable. He tries taking a deep breath and finds no resistance or discomfort at all. He thinks he might get used to it. Dewdrop throws a loose shirt his way.

“Try it with this.”

Phantom obeys and walks over to the mirror mounted on the wall. The swell of his breasts is still noticeable but it's barely there. Enough to last a couple days, he thinks. Enough to give himself a break.

“If you really need to” Dew steps closer to him and settles in his back, watching both their reflection “we can try tape again too. I know it didn't exactly go smoothly last time but it'd be better if you let me help, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Phantom almost chokes on the word. 

Binder, sports bra, loose clothes, tape, so many things with so many rules just to make others see him the way he wants to be seen, just to make him feel better about his own body. His own body. He's seen the way his packmates drip with confidence, the love they have for the way they look. He knows some of them worked harder than others for it but they all have it. All he has is disgust and shame, no amount of hiding will change that. Why was he not summoned properly? Why is his body nothing but wrong?

He gets pulled back to reality by a warm hand turning him around and finding itself resting on his cheek. A thumb wipes away a tear he didn't realize had fallen from his eye.

“Hey, I know how it feels right now. More than most, trust me. I can see right through that look in your eyes, I used to wear the same. I still do sometimes. We do what we can with what we have but sometimes it feels like it's never good enough, like we will never be good enough for us. We are. Never let anyone tell you otherwise, even yourself. You deserve to love yourself, Ant.”

Phantom takes a deep shaky breath to steady himself and nods. “I know. Sometimes theory is just harder than practice.”