doppio: (smokes like a chimney, has hypersexual tendencies & substance use issues, grew a human for 9 months who is now 15, has killed like 30 cops, can turn a paper clip into a violent weapon, wears Y2K-style low-rise pants with a waistline so far beneath sea level that his midriff can be seen from the 9th circle of hell, is covered head-to-toe in blood on a regular basis, every bartender from sardinia to napoli has his order memorized)