It is weird though because like a year or so ago, my brain abruptly decided we had transitioned; and so now when people do misgender me, the emotion is normally something like surprise? Like - huh, how could they get that wrong?
It's weird to me also that just making that decision mentally could make me feel that much better about so many things, even without taking any real transition steps; and I still don't wholly understand why being out makes me feel good either, given the difficulties it brings and anyway, I spent the afternoon walking with new friends and drinking tea and the nice parts of it would have been the same regardless of gender.
I guess this is good, like, progress or something; but fundamentally, I truly do not want to transition like, at all, so...Idk...It's good to find/do things which feels right, but I don't want to go the way they're going.
