#trahearn

When about everyone was present, we walked to the Garden of Light/ the Secret Garden, where we cried, then, speeches began!

I/Mery speeched too! wanna hear? maybe I’ll post it later!

I found out I wasn’t the only smol salad ^^ the Squad Leader (pink cutie) was also tiny! (and look at all the pretty people! luv them all!

Bridge test! it reminded me of the pride walk, really!

toilet/food break! while i was gone everyone spoke about Trahearns voice, so I came back to this:

(if you look at it, you’ll see what I mean)

bUT MEANWHILE! A guild was made/joined and now most of us are in the magical Trahearn appreciation guild!

It was really awesome to join such a thing! meaning the event And the Guild ;p

*walking up to the ship knowing it’ll soon be over*

someone took a good picture using the vista (might reblog when I see), but I took this one xD

Love

More Love

All the LOve!

Into the instance to check on Trahearn’s cats Harley, Leo and Maddy

bUT THEN! Anet! why do you hate me?! ;-;

He’s five the first time he meets his father. 

He’s just old enough to know what a father is and that his is not around. Just old enough to begin to be aware of the fact that his ‘family’ consists of women and an endless stream of men. He prefers the bright feathers and fake jewels of the women to the shifty glances of the men. But one day different men come. They are dressed in sharp, crisp suits and they do not look at the women. Someone holds his mother back as the men usher him out of the townhouse and into a car. He crawls inside and sits still like he’s supposed to until he falls asleep. 

He wakes up as the car stops outside what looks like a church. 

The men lead him up the stairs and into the building. Everything is very big and very cold. He’s desperate for something to hold onto. But the men keep their hands by their sides and he mirrors their posture. They lead him into a massive circular room. A man is standing there along with a boy who looks to be his age. Immediately he perks up because he rarely gets to play with kids his own age. But the man’s hand goes to the boys shoulder and he gets the feeling they aren’t supposed to interact. 

“Isaac,” he looks up to the man who stares him down, “we’re your family now.”

It isn’t until he’s much older that he realizes what he’s lost in that moment. 

The fake jewels are replaced with real ones. The flitter of women with their bright smiles is replaced with cold, false ones given for an entirely different reason. His mother is replaced with a woman who barely can look at him. The father he’s been so desperate for is cold and cruel. And the brother he didn’t even know he had can barely look at him. He doesn’t fit into their perfect little family and they are perfect. Not a hair out of place, not a thread loose from their clothing. He learns to fit in with them. He doesn’t stand out and he doesn’t draw attention to himself. He discovers how to fade into the shadows, to cloak himself in silence when the words get to be too much. 

His life is hiding in plain sight, bleeding into the shadows. So when his half brother says something and it finally gets to be too much, he snaps like a finely wound string. He beats Cyrus into unconsciousness, first with his bare hand and then with a chair leg after he breaks it over his back. His hands are bloody and he’s shaking by the time he’s done. His eye is barely swollen from the one shot Cyrus got in. He expects to be berated by his father when Caius looks at him. But instead he gets a slight nod of acknowledgement—the most positive acknowledgment he’s gotten from the man and that night his step mother actually tucks him into bed. 

Isaac quickly learns that is is not blending that will get him a place in this family, it’s fighting. He learns quickly. His teachers are harsh and he fights them every step of the way. But they temper his rage. They forge him into a blade as sharp as the ones he wields. He learns what it is to recognize an opponent’s weakness and how to turn that agains them. He learns how to run a knife across throats and break necks with a quick twist of his wrists. His knuckles harden and his body changes. He keeps his muscle lean. He’s not the biggest or the strongest or even the fastest. But he’s the most deadly by far. He has no problem killing. If anything his problem is how long it takes for a new mission to be given to him. 

It’s a cruel joke that he and Cyrus are put in the same group. There’s something said about learning to work together but he knows that’s bullshit. This is a test. He hates tests. But if it means he can shove this back in Cyrus’ face then he’ll do it. So he trains twice as hard and shows off three times as much. Cyrus has always been able to command attention easily. Now though he learns how to claim his victories. On skill alone he becomes notorious. He learns to wear the title of ‘bastard’ with pride. He begins to use his last name and not correct people when they call him Cyrus’ brother and Caius’ son. 

He stops counting when he reaches the triple digits. There’s no point in count in anymore after that. It’s not as though he’ll ever reach the number they say exists for one to be considered a Council member. He’ll never earn a seat there. They all know it. Caius’ seat will go to Cyrus—who is tragically not as incompetent as Isaac wishes he was. They will never be equals and he will never best Cyrus. Not in any way that actually matters. He will forever be the bastard son and Cyrus will forever be the true heir. And no matter what he tells them he will never be alright with this, even if he has mastered his pain and turned it into his armor. 

It all changes when Cato is born. 

Cyrus has had an arranged marriage and his wife’s duty has always been to create the next generation. The babe comes into the world easily enough and is brought immediately to the men to be inspected. Isaac is the last to hold him. He’s never been around a babe before and it shocks him how innocent the child is, how offended he is at the world. Hours later when Cato’s wept himself into sleep he stands over the bassinet and stares down at the swaddled babe. This has always been about protection, or it should have been, but looking at his nephew is the first time he really believes there is something in this world worth protecting. 

His next three missions are a spectacular failure. Mostly because when he goes to kill he thinks of Cato and realizes that everyone he’s about to kill was once that young and innocent. He’s pulled off field duty and watched like a hawk by the Council. He realizes, somewhat belatedly, that to them he is only as good as his ability to kill. He’s known this for a while but there is a difference between knowing something and having it stare you in the face. Bitterness takes root in his pride and he wonders what the point of any of this is. He’s taken children from parents, destroyed families like the one he’s always dreamed of belonging to. All for what? A group of men who would turn their backs on him without a second thought. 

Isaac considers leaving. He considers using his considerable resources to find his mother. But he prefers to think of her like he last remembered, in a world where all things were good and the fake jewels were more beautiful than the real thing. So he stays. He obeys. He goes where they send him on missions where he does not kill or interact with anyone. He winds up in Salem at the archives where he spends his days lost int he glory of a time long ago. For a while he dreams of the glory that could have been and the glory that will never be again. They are bastards ruled by fools.

Once more his nephew changes everything.

The family shame is dragged out of the archives and shined up like a new penny for the engagement ceremony. The cycle is about to repeat himself but he’s prepared for that. He’s resigned to it. Cato’s already growing hard around the eyes like Cyrus was at his age. Soon he’ll turn into his father and the poor girl he’s about to marry will turn into his wife, the pathetic creature. Perhaps he’ll father a bastard who will take his role in the family. The thought makes him drink two fifths of vodka in celebration of what is to come before he piles into the car with the rest of them and heads to the girl’s house. 

Peyton Miller is nothing like he expects. For one her arm’s in a cast and as he quickly finds out the black eye her father is sporting is her version of retaliation. It’s pathetic but it’s better than nothing. But what really surprises him is Cato. His stoic, mini-Cyrus nephew seems to light up when the girl is around. He burns with defiance when he looks at her. With a little nudging from him he gets Cato to agree to the marriage even though Caius and Cyrus are clearly against it. It gives Gilleon Miller what he wants, which Isaac is loathe to do, but this seems more important all of a sudden. He slowly begins to pull his life back together. 

He thinks he’s successful until one day chloroform is pressed to his mouth and he finds himself kidnapped. 

He wakes up in a stone chamber with a massive headache. He’s been kidnapped by an insane man and a failure of a hunter, both of who have recently been on trial for treason. The third part was the only one found guilty and underwent a purification ritual that sent him to the grave screaming. Apparently though he wasn’t the only one who deserved to die. isaac looks between the two men and tries to wrap his head around what they are telling him, though it seems so insane he thinks he might still be out from the chloroform. 

“Resistance?” he repeats looking at them, “you’re insane.”

“Quite,” Lucas tells him without missing a beat, “would you like to see the paperwork?”

Solomon explains that apparently he’s not the only one who’s seen a problem with the Council. Eben’s gone mad, the corruption is now less something rumored and more a thing veiled secret. Apparently this isn’t the first resistance to be attempted. Both Lucas and Solomon are intensely proud of the fact they’ve kept it going for as long as they have, but he can see it’s not enough. He realizes belatedly that is why they’ve brought him in. They are trusting him even though he could turn them into the Council at a moment’s notice. No-one’s ever really trusted him before, not like this.  But he thinks of his nephew and the Miller girl and all the other people they can keep from turning into him and he nods his head. 

The slowness is what drives him insane. He wants this overthrow to happen now. Not when Cato’s old enough to be corrupted and twisted to suit their needs. Not when more innocent blood’s been shed. He also really wants to get out of the archives. But that’s easier said than done. He has to prove himself first. He starts by hiding his drinking and being useful in that annoying way. It’s still a year before they let him out. He takes care not to make his first mission a failure and manages to pull it off quite well. Then he gets another. He keeps track of which missions stink of corruption and which seem to be legitimate. He does them all, knowing that the Council cannot be suspicious. He will never be a Council member but thankful he is named a mentor.

The next day Peyton and Cato are tested.

He misses it because he is sent to a small town outside Chance Harbor, Washington to recruit a witch named Jake Armstrong. 

The group is a disaster. He realizes he’s forgotten what happens when you throw a group of emotionally stunted, well trained teenagers together and tell them to not kill each other. They go at it like there’s no tomorrow. Someone convinces Jake to use magic in fighting and soon those that work with him are the strongest fighters for what they will need to do. He delays them taking missions for as long as he can. None of them are ready to be hunters and they definitely aren’t ready to hear that what they’ve spent their lives believing is a lie. Still when he picks up the envelope with their first orders and sees the corruption written all over it, he wonders if he’s ever held something so heavy in his entire life. 

Solomon is brought on to help him. They do their best to protect the kids but he knows they fall short. For every innocent life they manage to prevent the kids from taking, there are dozens more. They both take up drinking again. Not enough to get them removed or bring them under suspicion. Just enough to make the pain manageable. They know this is not about them anymore. But it’s not really about any single person either. Most of the time the darkness and helplessness feels overwhelming, suffocating even. So his world shrinks to the brief moments of joy that seem to come far and few between. 

The rare moments when Cato laughs, usually when he’s performing card tricks. Or when he gets to play a chef. For a month he gets to be one at a good restaurant and Isaac wonders if he’ll ever see Cato smile so much again. 

Jake and Peyton, who make him believe that it’s possible for hunters and witches to work together. Who defend each other and against the world and remind the other that there’s more to life than the missions he sends them on. Who give each other a home when they should have none.

The road ahead of them will not be easy. He knows it and he knows that no matter what he wants the fact is that the notion Jake, Peyton and Cato will all become members of the resistance is ludicrous. They will be separated and there is a good chance that one day they will all be on different sides trying to kill each other. The idea breaks his heart and when he sees Jake and Peyton’s feelings start to shift, he realizes that the bright moments are almost at an end. This will be over soon and the idea that he’ll lose them both at the same time is both tragic and infuriating. He tries to stop it until Solomon shakes his head. 

There’s nothing they can do. 

He loses them in rapid succession. Peyton is cleansed and thrown still bleeding to another team where she is branded a witch lover. Solomon goes with her but he’s not enough to save her from them. He watches Jake fall in love with a witch and discovers it is possible to hate someone you once considered a surrogate son. Cato withdraws completely, shamed by all three of them. And just like that he has become Isaac the bastard once again. His appeals fall on deaf ears. His skills keep him from being demoted or thrown aside but only just. 

Once again it ends with him sitting in a brothel, surrounded by fake jewels and false smiles. 

Only this time it’s worse because he knows there’s more out there. He knows there’s family and friends and a world beyond the plump lips and soft skin. The illusion is hollow now. He wonders if his mother felt this way as well or if she was lucky enough to die before she saw behind the velvet curtain. He considers throwing his phone out but he decides against it, instead he forces himself to read every message they send. It’s not a good penance but it’s all he can do right now. 

-You were supposed to protect her-

-How could you let them do this?-

-I’m such a fool.-

-I love him, tell me how to stop-

-I love her, but i hate her too-

-This isn’t fair-