#toxic lucilith

The lights had been bright shining over the gala that the Morningstars had hosted that night. The Manor had been decorated elaborately with crystals and lace that Lilith had picked out so painstakingly the week prior. She had all but shooed Lucifer away when he tried to offer any semblance of input, as was common in any event that the King and Queen hosted.

Lilith planned, coordinated and led while Lucifer stood by her side, smiled and entertained like the supportive husband he had become. The Queen of Hell just thrived so well taking the lead in everything in Hell’s politics that didn’t directly involve the Sins. Sinners, specifically Overlords? That was where the Queen tugged the strings and pulled their subjects into place so well.

The gala had been about unity; Lilith’s idea. Hell’s population had been steadily increasing in the last hundred years and Heaven had shown some increasing unrest after the last few meetings Lucifer had to sit through with Sera regarding it. It had apparently spawned Michael to broach the idea of a new guardian angel, though Lucifer hadn’t the faintest clue what Sera had meant by that in their last briefing. That had been over a year ago and since then, Heaven had made no attempt to properly contact him again aside from letters through the Embassy.

Lilith had always been about unifying Hell against Heaven; creating a strong force against the very utopia that restrained and punished those for their choice in individuality even if vile and debaucherous. Her voice always brought Sinners together and empowered them to be more than the sin they simply gave into – the carnal desires and murderous cravings.

While Lucifer couldn’t bear to look at Sinners and the evil he had wrought, Lilith nurtured it and used events such as that very night to plan and further her movement to an uprising against Heaven with her ‘children’ who would follow her without question.

And Lucifer? Just a shadow in the background to entertain and mask with the Devil’s grin when Sinners got too close or too friendly with him. No Sins were there, no Hellborn, no one he knew nor cared to remember – only Lilith’s followers.

And he was expected to be the poise, smiling, charismatic King of Hell.

Lilith had been graceful as she mingled with Overlords and Sinners she had invited into their ballroom, her beautiful long blond hair flowing around her like a curtain of silk. Lucifer’s heart that had once beat so hard to see the cascade of those locks now wrenched painfully as it had begun to do so over the last few decades.

She laughed, head tilted back as Lucifer sat upon his throne at the back of the room. His claws gripped the armrests of the throne as he watched with his red eyes, forced to smile painfully as his wife leaned into a Sinner. She was intentionally pressing herself against him, glancing over her delicate shoulder and towards Lucifer with her sharp lilac eyes to see if her husband was looking before leaning in to whisper something in the mortal’s ear.

Lucifer’s smile cracked just a hair.

Deep breath.

If he expressed any discomfort; if he showed any hurt or even moved in a way that upset Lilith, there would be hell to pay later… and Lucifer simply did not have the energy to fight… not after the week of court with the Sins he had. Asmodeus had nearly had Mammon’s head twice and Satan had nearly let three unjust executions go forward. Lucifer’s head was still throbbing from that and knew another spat with Lilith would just send him down another spiral he couldn’t handle.

He was already struggling to keep his head above water with the paperwork as it was… and the rubber ducks were multiplying in his office again.

Another one of Lilith’s melodic laughs made Lucifer’s eye twitch as she spun around the ballroom, speaking to another woman about something rather important. Lilith’s dress was stunning – a gown Lucifer had made for her himself of sheer lace with meticulously placed black gemstones woven into the design so the lights would catch and make her glow like an ethereal ghost.

Lucifer thought she was beyond beautiful and yet, it left his stomach hollow and his head aching. His heart no longer fluttered the way it once did.

For a brief moment, Lilith left the ballroom floor as her guests chattered and danced to the music, her long legs moving one in front of the other as her heels clicked against the marble. Lucifer almost didn’t register that she was walking towards him until the Queen of Hell was nearly looming over his throne.

“Lucifer, my dear~” Lilith purred as she approached the side of his throne and leaned down. She gave him a sickeningly sweet smile and tilted her head as she continued, “Why don’t you come speak to our guests? They are your subjects, my love.”

Here we go… Lucifer thought and swallowed the anxiety in his throat, taking a shaky breath as he looked up at his wife. He didn’t want to talk to the Sinners; he knew he’d fuck it up. Lucifer wasn’t fond of them and he recognized that about himself – resented them in his way. And with that, he knew he would struggle to socialize and as a result, incur the wrath of his wife.

It would tip the dominos of Lucifer’s spiral from a mild depressive episode into a manic party and he knew that.

Tugging at his bowtie, Lucifer cleared his throat and tried to reason with Lilith, “Honey, you know I can’t… don’t socialize well with Sinners… I’m more than happy to talk to them if they come to me, but…”

He trailed off as the soft smile on Lilith’s face fell and her expression twisted into a scowl and a disapproving look. It was like a mother scolding her child… though, with more of a sneer.

Lucifer felt his heart sink as the guilt crept in, the urge to give in strong as Lilith’s eyes narrowed and her lips pressed together firmly.

“Dear,” Lilith’s tone shifted, colder yet still eerily sweet as she quieted her voice for him to hear, “I’m one of them… you love me, do you not?”

“Lilith, don’t compare yourself to them-”

“If you hate them, then you must hate me just as much.” Lilith stated bluntly before Lucifer could finish, her voice turning flat as she kneeled next to Lucifer’s throne, the party around them completely oblivious to the little marital crack happening just under their noses.

Lucifer’s eyes widened and he straightened in his seat, turning to face his wife more and reaching out to hold her face in his blackened hands, not seeing the way Lilith smirked just a little bit at his reaction. “My love, I could never! I adore you!”

“Then you can do this for me?” Lilith reiterated, reaching up to grab Lucifer’s wrists before taking his hands away from her face. She stood, smiled down at him before narrowing her eyes as if reminding him to be mindful of his words and then she spun back towards the main ballroom and gracefully glided back towards the crowd of Sinners awaiting her.

Lucifer watched her go, red eyes wide and heart hammering in his chest as his hands tingled. There was a slight ringing in his ears and a tightening pain in his chest that wouldn’t quite go away. He felt wrong.

After sitting for a moment longer, the Devil’s sharp grin slid into place and Lucifer snapped his fingers. In a puff of red smoke and hellfire, his apple cane appeared in his right hand and he rose from the throne.

Just smile, nod, and keep your answers short and sweet, Lucifer thought as he descended onto the ballroom.

He couldn’t see Lilith anymore, but he could hear her. She was singing with a few other women, cheerful and radiant while others danced to the mesmerizing piano that filled the Manor ballroom. The King’s boots clicked on the marble as he looked around at the guests who all glanced at him curiously; many eager to speak to him but shy to approach the Devil.

None in Hell questioned him. He may not have been as active in the Sinner side of things as Lilith was, but his name was still just as feared. And as Lucifer’s eyes thinned to red slits, he worried about that exact fame and the potential thunder he’d possibly steal from his wife and her movement.

It was why he’d rather just be the ‘supportive hubby’ at events Lilith hosted. He loved her and would rather not get in the way.

As he expected, many Sinners avoided him and simply made him a path. Lucifer internally cringed, suddenly feeling as though he were being scrutinized as part of him wanted to look around and see if Lilith were watching him. The cane tapped the floor as he gripped the apple in his right hand, razor grin sharpening just a fraction as Lucifer tried not to seem bothered by the difficulties of his current task and how the Sinners choosing to avoid him were making him look bad to his wife.

Fortunately, he found an Overlord that was willing to converse with the Devil as Lucifer came across him not even a few feet later. He was a tall man draped in all black and neon green accents; Lucifer had to tilt his head back and look up, the demon skeletal in frame as the man looked down at the King with a rather polite grin.

“Good evening, Your Majesty,” the Overlord greeted with a gentlemanly bow, “I hope thou are having a good time.”

Lucifer blinked, taken aback by the politeness of the man before cracking a more sincere grin. He could work with this.

Meanwhile, Lilith was dancing with another man, twirling with a giggle before being dipped. She was basking in all the attention. The way everyone was feeding into her power and hanging on her every word and thought. She just had to breathe and they dropped to her knees for her.

Her demons, her Sinners, her children.

“Thank you, Darling!” Lilith blew the man a kiss as she took a few steps back and nearly bumped into a group of women who idolized her. “Oh, apologies, my sweetlings!”

She reached out and caressed the women’s hair, cooing over the demonesses as though they were her daughters and they all melted under the Queen’s touch. The circle that had formed around Lilith was a constant – a spotlight of attention she had grown accustomed to.

The Mother of Demons – the Mother of All would lead them by her inspiring voice. She could move them and lure them in by just a giggle alone.

“One day, we will be free from Heaven’s looming threat, my children,” Lilith promised as she always did to those forming the circle around her while sipping the wine she had put out herself and eating the baked goods her staff had worked so hard to prepare.

The Sinners around her leaned in as she brought her hands towards her chest, brows knitted together and lips pursed in a pout. Lilith sighed as she reached out and gestured to them, spinning in a slow circle. Rehearsed, the words fell from her painted black lips like an incantation meant to enchant.

“We must resist, my darlings. We mustn’t let them take away our individuality nor punish us for that! Are we so wrong for our own desires and ideas? No! One day, Heaven will fall, I swear!”

The demons around her all cheered and clapped, Lilith’s head lifting in pride as she felt the influence she had surge through her. She smiled, shining with confidence as she thought to herself about every little moment she’d been waiting to get back at Heaven for. She had wanted nothing more than to drive a knife into Heaven’s foundation and break it apart; watch it fall and crumble in the face of hypocrisy that was the face of the Heavenly Father.

She was getting one step closer everyday with her children; the children that were supposed to be hers in the first place and had been robbed from her against her will.

Just another century or two, and Lilith was confident that Hell would have such a mass number in both Hellborn and Sinners alike that Heaven wouldn’t stand a chance if she were to start a proper uprising. She could almost feel the sun of Eden on her pale skin once more.

Suddenly, the sound of laughter cut through Lilith’s victorious glee. A long breath exhaled, lips parting as she turned her head from the now thinning circle around her and following a few straying followers of hers towards a little gathering crowd across the ballroom. While her fans were still clapping and cheering so loud that she shouldn’t have been able to hear anything over them, she couldn’t help but overhear the joy that has taken away from her cause.

Lucifer.

He was talking to Zestial, one of the oldest Overlords and biggest supporters of Hell’s royal family. The two seemed to be having a pleasant conversation and, as a result, Lucifer was actually being himself. The Devil was laughing; deep and sincere. It had caught the attention of a few other Sinners and, suddenly, a little crowd had formed.

Disruptive.

She told him to talk to their guests, not host his own party when she was working towards her own cause.

And she made sure to let him know that later that night.

The doors to the master bedroom slammed open after the gala and Lucifer flinched, having already been sitting on the edge of the bed in his robe and preparing to turn in for the night after just putting in his hair curlers and adjusting his ducky headband.

Lilith had spent the last hour of the night bidding their guests goodbye and listening to at least half of them telling her how sweet and funny her husband was and it had agitated her. She came storming into their bedroom, dress flaring behind her and hair flying.

“Lucifer!”

He jumped, startled as he had just finished adjusting the fuzzy headband on his head. “Yes, Honey?”

Lilith approached the foot of the bed, her brows furrowed as she crossed her arms. She clenched her jaw and took a deep breath. Closing her eyes, she chose her next words carefully. It was as though the gears in her head rewound and started back up as she exhaled.

“My love,” Lilith started again, softer as she opened her lilac eyes and looked down at Lucifer. She was still so tense, arms crossed and tone filled with a condescension Lucifer knew too well by that point. “I am… appreciative that you did what I asked.”

Lucifer let go of a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. The anxiety had been killing him all night, the chest pain immense and suffocating as he had been waiting for the other shoe to drop and for her to tell him he had done something wrong.

He felt relief then as his shoulders dropped and he smiled a little bit. He had done good. “I’d do anything for you, Lily.”

Lucifer began to pull back the blankets of their massive bed, feeling now like he could properly sleep and actually have a chance at sleeping a full night. His body was starting to tremble from the adrenaline of anxiety leaving his body.

Lilith watched him relax, her eyes narrowing as her lips parted. “But…”

Every muscle in Lucifer’s body went rigid as he settled into bed, red eyes meeting his wife’s. Suddenly, the tightness was back and Lucifer’s breathing turned a bit more shallow.

She then continued, folding her hands behind her back and lifting her chin as though Lucifer were a peasant that she was gazing down upon. “You ruined the gala.”

His mouth opened to speak, tears starting to prick at the corners of his eyes as his brain begged him to say ‘I didn’t do anything’ or ‘I just did what you wanted.’ Lucifer felt like his body was made of lead, the ringing in his ears back and the edges of his vision fuzzy as panic settled in.

Lucifer had failed again. He had done what Lilith asked and still failed her. He couldn’t do what she needed of him.

“Truly, Dear,” Lilith sighed and looked away in disappointment, “I… I needed all the attention on the cause…”

Then, the hollowness consumed and numbed as Lucifer felt the tears in his eyes dry with a few blinks. The ache didn’t leave, but it dulled as he took a pained breath as the episode of spiraling depression Lucifer had been fighting off all week finally claimed him. All energy he had left was sapped; gone. He couldn’t fight anymore.

“I’m sorry, Lily.”

“Don’t call me that right now,” Lilith chastised him, refusing to look his way, “You don’t have the right when you disappoint me, Morningstar.”

“I…” Lucifer cleared his throat and looked down at his blackened hands in his lap. “Yes, Dear…”

She spared a glance at him out of the corner of her eye. “I will be sleeping in the guest room tonight. You need to earn the right to sleep in the same bed as me again.”

“Yes, Dear.”

“I’ll send Clyde to collect some things,” Lilith turned then, briskly walking towards the door before saying once more over her shoulder, “I do hope you learn from this, Lucifer.”

With that said, Lilith drifted out of the bedroom, leaving Lucifer alone to sit in their bed and think. All he could do now was just think. Sleep was going to be unattainable.

It always was when he disappointed Lilith.

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Thank you for reading, loves!

The OC, Clyde, mentioned in the end is owned by @fivepointhunter and is a character in the AU!