Captain it's Tuesday and u send me on a side quest.

(and lemme tell ya my Lil village has been in deep fog for a while now but today we had some sun so off I go and enjoy finally some sunlight since.. Idk I don't remember. Been a hot minute. Anyway. Step out of the post office and the ice fog rolls in again. Might have heard boss music on my player. So I hauled my ass back home fast lol)

Watching this vid

(FYI this is my fav yter for body doubling while I clean, declutter and organize, has some great vids on how to basic clean, how to clean with depression, etc. Etc. Very soothing voice no music got that autsim swag cadence while he talks so really really dope for me personally when it comes to body doubling)

Anyway in this vid he talks about letting stuff go and while I'd like to think I improved massively on that front there is still room to grow. And in this vid he brings up paperwork and conveniently the example of if ur dad died and throwing out hospital docs and whatnot. Shit that makes u sad but you still hold onto out of a twisted sense of memory or obligation.

So this is what I am doing rn. Sorting through my father's paperwork and throwing out the things that do not need to live in my home. Like the hospital shit. The hospice shit. Documents from education programs his workplace sent him to.

And it's hard. It's really really hard I am not gonna lie. I don't need this. I don't need to keep it and I keep repeating this in my head and I am writing it down so I can keep going but it's hard and somehow makes me cry and I can't even explain.

Heat ain't helping.

They said not to use trains unless absolutely nessecary bc the heat causes failures to the tracks bc metals expand in the heat and that might cause some issues so things are going great.

Guess who has to take the train tomorrow xD

I also wanted to keep on sanding down the old rocking chair of great grandmother bc my dad started this project by taking it apart and started sanding a bit but he never finished that so I wanna finish that also rocking chair = cool AF. Also subject to mandated quiet times bc of the noise the sanding macgine makes but also yesterday that thing did some funky things and idk if it just ran to hot or if it is on its last legs HHHH fingers crossed it's the former.

There is also a lot do do inside bc my fridge screams for being cleaned out and I am halfway done though cleaning the pantry and reorganizing it in general (this is where the fridge lives too).

Also I wanted to clear out the living room so I can give the parkquett some tlc while dreaming about loaning a big machine to sand the entire floor down neat and reseal that shit but that is unfortunately not something to be done in one weekend especially not this weekend bc today there is a bday and tomorrow it is mother's day so my floor restoration dreams have to be shelved for another time.

What I actually wanted to say is that yesterday I did my nails on one hand in a galaxy pattern and it wasn't bad for a first time doing more than basecoat to protect my nails gig but I also either have very shitty nail polish or fucked up on thickness bc they never hardened fully so I was able to peel them off today in the morning and no at no time was any peel-off nail polish involved. Pretty sure normal ass basic nail polish that is neither UV or Gel is not supposed to come off in one piece and be bend about it but alas.

So I have a shitton of things I wanna do and meant to do today but I look at my hand and the peeled off galaxy nail pieces and feel very compelled to try again. (and also maybe my hair too, shearing, trimming, retouching my roots and recolour/touch up some colour's)

I am finally in the position to deal with the issue but oh my god. Dunno what kinda ass field plant that shit is, rye looking mother fuckers have an impressive root system. The dried stalks cut one of my fingers and took a chunk of skin and tissue out of another. These fuckers have went unchecked for a bit too long bc I was too exhausted to deal with them.

The claw thingie I use to till the soil and rip up the root system is warped and bend and the middle prong has snapped at the welding points bc this metal tool was probably never meant to deal with this kinda stuff, the rootsystem is strong and thick but my arms are stronger so I think I might have to buy a replacement soonish.

Hhhhh the babe is wanted and already so so loved but dang if it doesn't take it's sweet time to make an appearance in this world. Boy your poor mama is exhausted.