And then it hits you, the reality that you cannot go back to where things were still fresh. Everything I have used to associate you with became awful demons crawling up to me, asleep or awake and that's not even the scary part. It's the actual realization that I cannot accept the fact that I'm in love with you. Everything is there. My fears, I've seen flash right before my eyes when I saw you in clear vision, slomo. It felt so surreal, amazing but I was scared. Fear had engulfed me and there was no chance through hell and back that I wanted to risk it. I was too scared to fall so deeply, madly in love with you that I just gave you up without putting up a proper fight. I let go as soon as I was about to reach to you. I stopped walking towards you. I just dropped the whole idea of falling in love with you... but I failed. Love is a force you cannot stop. It's a natural phenomenon that happens and when it does, there's no turning back. You just fall in love, you fall straight into it and my fear didn't stop me from falling in love with you, it did otherwise. I know words fall so empty for you, and I admit, these words have little to zero meaning because it's all too late. I will wrap myself into sleep, trying to remember our warm conversations that we used to have like TV shows in black and white reruns, hoping that once I wake up, time would erase you so easily. You're a sad, beautiful, tragic love I would write about until I move on to the next person whom I would either have my heart broken or his. You're the love that I will never have and I accepted that you're far much better off with someone else. You're that love that I will remember all too well. You're that kind of love that was worth the risk but I didn't. You're that kind of love, pure and I have to say it now. Your kind of love has always been the kind that I was always drawn into. You and love are both such funny things my life would suck without. You, thank you for allowing me to love you like this.
