#torso ask

36. What would you tell your younger self: Oi, numpty! Get your shit together. Stop trying to impress everyone! Better yet, stop trying to please everyone while you’re at it!!! You’ll figure it out eventually but stop trying to do everything at once. It’s ok that things don’t work out, just keep doing. Do anything. Find what you do well and do it better. Stop comparing yourself to other people, they aren’t you and you aren’t them. And for fucks sake, read something! Finally, stop pretending for the family, it’s not worth it, and never stop fighting. You can stop fighting when you’re dead and you’ve got a long way until then, I hope. Oh and stop headbutting random shit, mate! I don’t look back fondly on that.

1: Do you have a crush at the moment? I don’t think it’s exactly a crush anymore. We might as well be married, knowing each other for around 16 years, dating for 10, and living together for 8.

8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating? Likely not. Trust is a big thing for me.

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"? They aren’t ideal but we’ve done it before. I think this is something we try and avoid but we’re willing to do what we need to if the need arises.

18: What do you consider a deal breaker? I’m pretty easy going with most things. I think I require trust and patience the most. I’m also rather fond of intelligence but that isn’t much of a deal breaker unless they don’t have an open mind. Oh, and assholes. Being a decent human being is required.

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? Yes, absolutely! Though it is up to the people in question if such a thing happens or not.

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work? I think my relationship is proof that they can and do. 

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness? I don’t see why it should. We still love people when they have a cold or the flu. I understand it could be taxing for yourself or the partner but some things are beyond worth it.

38: Do you enjoy love films? I don’t watch many of them and even less are actually appealing to me. That isn’t to say there aren’t one or two out there I enjoy.

41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"? Somewhere between going out and doing something you can’t do every day or staying home and playing games.

48: What's your favorite love song? I don’t really have one? Does L Bomb by Anti-Queens count?

51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy? Please refer to #18. Being a decent human being is required.

58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship? I believe I am what is referred to as a “switch.” It depends on my mood.

61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family? My family is varying levels of complicated. My partner is more important but there are some family members I’d go out of my way for. Those family members are ones that wouldn’t make me choose. Family that does or would can see themselves to the inside of an operating wood chipper.

H: Favourite book: Each book I read means something special to me. Though, the one that keeps inspiring me is American Gods by Neil Gaiman.

R: Last movie I've watched: I think the last movie I watched was Kung Fu Panda 3. I was really bored and my computer was dead. I usually enjoy animated movies but this one was a let down.

S: What's my ringtone: It’s the Codec ring from Metal Gear Solid... I’m a shameless fan boy.

First off, much respect for analyzing yourself and making an effort for change. I always think it’s awesome when people take the time to ask themselves what they could do better or differently and it’s no different when asking yourself if you could be more inclusive.

That said, I’m also white and have limitations in my own knowledge. Right off the top of my head, I follow @mb3crew who is awesome and puts a smile on my face when I see their posts. Though, might I also suggest @jordan-n-g and @crustyrushdie because they are also poc punk.

In truth, I’m limited in my resources and my memory is shit most days. My biggest piece of advice is check out the poc punks or punks of color tags. Check out blogs and say hi. Personally, I like following people and I try to keep the definition of people as inclusive as possible.

Do you celebrate any holidays this time a year? If so, how do you celebrate? I was raised with Christmas but I say happy holidays to everyone. I still celebrate Christmas but it’s just appointed gift giving day for me. I usually do a tree, some minor decorations, and have a relaxation day. Usually I’ll arrange some kind of holiday dinner with my mom but that’s about it. I tried celebrating/having dinner with my dad’s side of the family to reconnect after he passed away but it turned out to be a pit of judgement, constant defensive awareness, and being left out because I was too much trouble. I now try and do things like that on my time and just enjoy the time with my fiancee.

Who is your favourite Steven universe character? I have to pick one? How about my top three because reasons. Pearl because she’s me on the inside. I obsess, I’m picky, and I want everything in their proper place where I deem them to be. In other words, I can be so anal I disgust myself some days. Lapis because she seems so sweet. I know feeling broken and discarded so I connect with that. I also love how she gives absolutely zero fucks. Finally, Peridot because she’s short and a tech wiz. How she interacts with the world is more often than not how my brain processes everything. Is it efficient? No? Can it be? No? Why do we need this? The thought train is endless. So many times I have to remind myself to chill the fuck out and compromise. What’s worse is my high standards for everyone are the same impossible ones I hold for myself. Needless to say, I make myself angry a lot.

If you had the ability to provide the animal with all its natural needs and habitat, which animals would you like to have as a pet/live close enough for them to be able to bond with you? Red foxes. I mean, there are so many I’d choose. Ravens, all sorts of foxes, bears, kangaroo, raccoons... Hell, I’d Doctor Doolittle the shit out of it if I could. But I feel really attached and quite strongly about red foxes in particular. Side anecdote: I always had trouble figuring out my “spirit animal” as a kid and swapped between everything under the sun. I didn’t settle on foxes until high school which I learned nobody sells fox anything!!! No plushies, ornaments, figures... I hated it. I’ve found more foxes since then but when I really wanted a fox plushie, no one sold them.

What was a heartwarming moment of 2016 and do you have any funny anecdotes from 2016? Well, I think we can all agree 2016 has royally sucked. Despite that, it had some nice moments. Admittedly, I’m finding it hard to find much heartwarming or anecdotal in 2016... So how about I tell you a story.