when a byler-related post on reddit gets removed bc it features explicit artwork from radical queer & AIDS activist David Wojnarowicz with the words "desires to place his naked body on the naked body of another boy" and a link to a non-pwp piece of fanfiction that features explicit but authentic queer intimacy, under the guise of being "too explicit" and making the platform "unsafe"
while underage teenagers post heterosexual (!) porn footage as byler content on twitter, and discuss daily how a gay character's body should be mutilated and physically sealed off so he cannot be capable of receptive intimacy, or how another gay character is physically & psychologically incapable of being in a penetrative role
while some people condemn this rhetoric but the fandom at large ignores it, failing to realize the problem isn't confined to one segment of the community, but is systemic
authors feel pressured to administer FULL-CAP pre-note warnings if their story gets a "little vers" (what does that even mean?) or deviates in any way from the designated, fandom-sanctioned, default binary dynamic bc god forbid people see that (this is textbook contagion/contamination psychology against queer sexuality in action, and operates on the same underlying framework that made anti-bylers so opposed to seeing explicit byler content in their comfort entertainment show), using language like the intimacy "alludes to" or "is close to" (again, what does that even mean?!) being the reverse of the default dynamic before the characters even had a chance to have penetrative sex -- when they're literally just touching or sitting in each other's laps fully clothed as two virgins. and then they aren't even allowed to have a conversation about their preferences anywhere in the story, it just automatically defaults to the fandom-insisted dynamic at one point
and people at large treat and respect this full-on deep aversion to any alternative dynamic and strict insistence on the default as a harmless "preference" to avoid "unnecessary conflict" with other fans, like it's as innocent a preference as a choice of colour, not realizing that demanding a strict "giver/receiver" default as a mandatory consumer label that they feel entitled to serves to show that they treat queer intimacy in fiction as a commercial product that needs to be properly packaged for heteronormative binary consumer satisfaction
do people even realise that queer sex is inherently diverse and free from binary defaults, and that liberation from those roles is what makes it so beautiful?
do people know that most gay relationships are versatile and do not adhere to a heteronormative binary?
do people understand that even when gay men engage in strict dynamics, it’s a personal choice based on communication, not an arbitrary default like it is in heteronormative frameworks?
do people understand that this strict insistence on "top/bottom" dynamics in pop culture actively harms real-life gay men?
i know it’s hard to unlearn heteronormative, binary thinking (we’re all subject to it) but can we at least try? can we stop demanding traditional gender roles in fictional gay sex?
all of this in the fandom of a ship that became synonymous with the struggle against systemic heteronormativity. what are we even doing?