#toolame

Something I've come to notice I do all the time is declaring to do something, but never coming around to do whatever it is i said I will do. Since I finally have a whole 3 month summer break this year, I promised myself I would attempt to do something meaningful, and on the first day of school in September, I will walk through the school gates as a changed, enlightened woman that has gone through all the thick and thins of life. Today officially marks the halfway point of Summertimes 2k14 and the only thing that has changed about me is my hair. I am literally the same exact Stuttering dirtbag I was on the last day of school, and sometimes I am afraid I will be like this for the rest of my life.  

I don't really know what to say. Sometimes I feel like I'm numb from experiencing feelings because I am surrounded by such wonderful things and people. I really truly do not know. I've tried a lot of new things this summer but all of these new challenges end after 2~3 days because I get tired of everything. What is most annoying is that then I realize I should be doing something "fun" and "meaningful" ,I get that same dutiful feeling as I do when I know I should be studying right now because exams are coming up in a week.