#tooji

Month of LGBTQIA+ Eurovision contestants: Tooji (7/30)

Touraj Keshtkar (Tooji)

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Gay

DOB: 26 May 1987

Ethnicity: Iranian

Occupation: Singer, model, presenter, social worker, activist

325. John Karayiannis - “One thing I should have done” Cyprus 2015

Sigh. Do I need to repeat my distaste for the sentimental “love” ballad which engages in borderline concern-trollery? This one isn’t *as* bad, but still: the one thing John should have done is *withdraw*. 🙄

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324. Basim - “Cliché love song” Denmark 2014

It’s like SCOOBY-DOO-DOO-WHERE ARE YOU???? Aside from ruining one of your favourite childhood tv shows, I think Basim’s sucktitude is pretty obvious, no? Denmark probably thought that just naming their entry “Cliché love song” would absolve them from getting the blame for all the cringeworthy cliché’s present, but nope, it SUCKS. NO forgiveness for the songs which shamelessly rip off Bruno fuckin’ Mars and are doused in poo-brown lighting! (that said, I would have totally bumped this up by about 20 spots had Denmark kept the original banner which featured a close-up of Basim’s face 😂 So tacky <3.)

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323. Tooji - “Stay” Norway 2012

Much like Basim, Tooji is *almost* tacky enough to facilitate ironic appreciation, but he falls just short and I’m forced to rank him in the Orange Dislike Zone instead.🙄 Not to mention Tooji has the blood of Sofi, Joan AND Litesound clining to his hands!!! 

However, there are two lowkey hilarious things about Tooji that make me rank him higher than Basim (1) Tooji’s desperate charm offensive during which he would lurk backstage, looking for the other delegations, gifting them ~a single rose~ if they accidentally passed him in the corridor (2) the act Norway are ripping off is ERIC SAADE 😂.

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322. Brendan Murray - “Dying to try” Ireland 2017

[2017 Review here]

Brendan used to be my last place of 2017. 😂 In all fairness, he’s not *that* bad, but he’s still solidly not good. Also, eres tu, Daniel Rapecliffe?

::shudders::

Since this is the update of where I murder lame knock-offs, I’ll also point out the terrible song which served as the inspiration for this terrible song is the even more loathesome “spousal abuse LOVE ON THE BRAIN” by Rihanna. UNEXCUSABLE!!

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321. Franka - “Crazy” Croatia 2018

[2018 Review here]