#tooalike

Why are they so alike? Like father, like son. #tooalike #randomshot #pellcity #likefatherlikeson https://www.instagram.com/p/BrgxMHYhI17/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=11yvu0e0gg6py

I close my eyes and listen to your lies. You don't think I notice. You think me an innocent. I laugh at that...on the inside. On the outside I smile and nod forcing fake pity and concern at your insignificant problems that you seek to burden me with day in and day out. On the inside I scowl. Your lips move and I cringe wishing for nothing more than to sink my blade into that sweet spot in the center of your back and silence the incessant buzzing for good. But that wont do. To many people, to much of a risk. My eyes wander as another of your kind passes by, a woman. Less noisy, more practical, more beautiful and I wonder whether I've made a mistake. No, I know I've made a mistake. You glare at me, your pride wounded. You though you were the best? You though I was yours? I laugh on the inside while you shower me with hate, your lips moving once more. I hear nothing. The right apologies in the right places that's all you need, but I tire of your company. Time to move on. I scowl on the outside letting a long sigh escape my lips as I stand. I end it and I leave, the shock on your face is nearly enough to make me smile. My hands in my pockets I walk, and in moments I'm behind her, the other of your kind. An accidental shove, a smile, a promise. That's all it takes for her to fall for the mask. We talk, her eyes alive as she speaks about the things she likes and then she pauses. A hand over her mouth, a bashful look as she thinks she's spoken to much. I take over, spinning tales of places I've never gone and things I've never seen all the while the knife in my back pocket burns to be used. She looks at me, her brown eyes wide... and then she closes her eyes and she listens.

I don’t trust you not to just do that to me again. Not to just abandon, ignore, and run from. I don’t trust. It’s a problem. There’s an angry girl inside me who wants to be tough and slam doors because I don’t believe in anything or anyone. And I’m sorry that happens to slam up against how hard it is for you to use feelings you’re not used to like a kid on a bike just newly.