Petrichor: Frozen Rain Melting ch3 - Morgan x Castoria (Fate/Grand Order)
Content Warnings (whole fic): Non-Con・Major Character Death
Main Pairing (Series): Tonelico x Castoria
Part 2 of the Petrichor (Time Loop) series
Served to Morgan on a silver platter, Castoria expects this to mark the end of her journey before it has even begun. But it appears that the Winter Queen has different plans.
Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence | Character Study | Time Loop | Very Hurt/Little Comfort | Trauma | Abuse | conflicted feelings | Mild (Passive) Suicidal Ideation | Past Abuse | Bonding Over Trauma | Kinda incest but not really | Pseudo-Incest | Castoria is 20 instead of 16 | MorCas (because AO3 won’t differentiate between Morgan and Tonelico) | Romance is More Subtextual (Probably)
Also posted on: AO3
Petrichor series: AO3
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03 - Wavering
Nothing on earth feels closer to heaven than a bed in the morning when you could doze back off any moment and have no intention of getting up just yet. Covered by the blanket you’ve snuggled yourself into in a subconscious longing to remain in this state.
Warm, safe. No problems arise, no flow of time is perceivable — peace.
Artoria can’t bring herself to part with this previously unknown taste of genuine bliss. She rouses, and turns; yet, this bed in the room that keeps her prisoner remains perfectly inviting. Like an embrace of kindness that only exists in dreams, not truly permitted in Fairy Britain.
It’s easy to ignore the sound of the door opening and closing; easy to pretend it to be a trick of Artoria’s imagination.
The soft clicking of heels on the tiled floor echoes through the room, slowly approaching the bed with each step. Artoria’s hand clutches the blanket, and she shuts her eyes tightly. The steps stop near the bed, not quite next to it.
A distanced approach, heels, and a lack of words — Morgan. Who else would move with such grace?
Who else would even visit Artoria?
‘Go away. Leave me alone.’
If she remains still, Artoria believes — hopes — that Morgan would assume her to be asleep still and leave.
Artoria doesn’t want to see anyone right now, or ever again. She doesn’t want to talk to anyone. Done with it all, and unwilling to face another fairy after pathetically bawling her eyes out before crying herself to sleep.
What a miserable Child of Prophecy she is. No matter how low the expectations, Artoria manages to disappoint them in an impressive manner. She has no doubt about that. But now she’s done with that, too.
Suddenly, the blanket is ripped from Artoria’s clutches, flying off to the foot of the bed, where it folds itself neatly.
“I am here to continue from yesterday,” Morgan says.
Whether Morgan has known Artoria to not actually be asleep or simply doesn’t care not to disturb her prisoner’s slumber — she’s not cutting Artoria any slack.
Annoyed at her layer of defense against the cold, cruel world being taken away without warning, Artoria grits her teeth and sits up to face Morgan. Her hand grips the sheet tightly to channel her bubbling-up anger.
Not even solitude is granted to Artoria when she wants it.
“What’s there to continue?” Artoria snarls.
“We have not reached a consensus about your pilgrimage and where your allegiance lies.”
Morgan crosses her arms in front of her chest, looking down on Artoria naturally due to her height. It makes her appear even more imposing — not that this is necessary — and Artoria’s first instinct is to cower and hide in the corner of the cage like a scared wild animal.
Her second instinct is to bite back — defiance for the sake of fighting back. As though it’s the final chance at escape from the clutches of certain demise; a miniscule chance that’s better than none.
Not that Artoria has any real intention to escape; but the lack of resolve is something her body is unaware of.
“… I told you I can’t,” Artoria repeats.
She wants to. Artoria wants nothing more than to be a normal girl, study magecraft, and feel the ease of a life not weighed down by burdens she never asked for.
And yet, she cannot abandon the hopes placed on her. Like a curse — an accumulation of curses — Artoria feels bound to following the path laid out for her. Even though she will surely fail, even though she’s already failed… she cannot abandon this hope.
Artoria cannot let everyone down. Her heart refuses to.
“You can,” Morgan disagrees, as though she is merely explaining possibilities that don’t seem to register for Artoria. “I, too, am a Fairy of Paradise. We may abandon our purpose without losing our self.”
‘… huh? What?’
Morgan being a Fairy of Paradise is news; this isn’t something Artoria had expected.
… it’s not something anyone would believe just being told, something much too outrageous to be taken at face value. Nothing but a delusional joke, with how big the gap between Morgan and Artoria is in just about every way — prowess, confidence, magecraft, height.
Maybe, if one were to squint, their faces could look the slightest bit alike.
“Are you… really?”
Was Morgan as weak as Artoria once? Was she hated, too? Did she have all the expectations of everyone else placed on her back? Did she want to run away to a normal life as well?
Did Morgan ever want to give up…? Did she feel crushed by her fate as though she’s stuck underneath boulders, a new one dropping on the pile every single day, knocking the final breath out of her collapsing lungs?
That— No, it’s simply impossible to imagine. Someone like Morgan could never know such struggles.
“There is no sense in doubting my words when you can see that I am not telling a lie.”
“… right.”
Not even Morgan could lie past Fairy Eyes; nobody is exempt from this curse of seeing through falsehoods. Morgan is telling the truth, Artoria knows that. She knows, and yet…
That doesn’t make it any easier to believe.
“The fairies have no need for a savior. That will do this country no good,” Morgan says coldly, like a queen who’s long since given up on her own people. Perhaps she has. “You will suffer for their selfish whims until they turn on you… if they haven’t already.”
“… what do you know,” Artoria mumbles, looking away.
Turning on Artoria? Is this what’s awaiting her, even if she completes the pilgrimage? Is Artoria the next enemy for fairykind — the next Morgan?
That’s a joke, a bad one at that. How does that differ from Artoria’s life until now?
You cannot turn on someone you’ve always been against from the very start, and it’s impossible to backstab someone if you’ve been ramming knives into their soul from day one.
‘… what bullshit…’
It’s no surprise that the fairies’ opinion won’t change for the better even if Artoria were the perfect Child of Prophecy, fulfilling all the expectations without flaw. Not that she could.
But even in that hypothetical scenario — she won’t be forgiven, and the hatred directed at her won’t leave. It’ll be shown more openly, if anything.
“You are truly… hardheaded.” A conscious effort not to offend by voicing a more genuine impression. “I believe we are done for today.”
‘For forever,’ Artoria adds mentally.
Morgan leaves without uttering a single other word. Tension dissipates from Artoria’s body, and she releases a stuttering breath that feels as though it carries all the wracked nerves with it.
Once more, Morgan hasn’t killed Artoria. Hasn’t hurt her even.
Artoria brushes her hand over the sheets, feeling the soft fabric. It’s different from hay — more comfortable, not a single blade poking her as she lies on it. It doesn’t feel like Artoria belongs.
Although unsure of how steady her limbs are today, Artoria shuffles to the edge of the bed and gets up from it. Her legs feel sore, but stable enough to support her weight today. However many hours she’s rested, it has really allowed her to properly recuperate.
She only passes a glance at the door through which Morgan left, not even considering to open it. Behind it are the halls of Camelot, and that’s no place Artoria wishes to explore, regardless of whether she could.
Artoria is all too familiar with this treatment, being bound to one particular place. If she’d ever been able to consider escape at some point in her life, it has been Tintagel that has thoroughly wiped that option from her mind. Even now, that remains unchanged; inhibition reaching as far as her subconscious to prevent any spark that could turn into an idea of flight.
This arrangement is simply accepted, just like the barn. Day after day, Artoria will make it through somehow.
In the bathroom, Artoria finds what she’s only heard of before — a bathtub. It appears big enough for her whole body to sink into the water if filled. Artoria’s hand traces the tub’s edge, wondering how a bath would feel.
She knows bathtubs supposedly have warm water, hot even. Not that Artoria ever has been in one; that’s a luxury not permitted for a simple village girl hated by everyone.
But she doesn’t know how to work those handles, and doesn’t dare to try, lest Artoria could break something.
When she gets up from her crouching position, her eyes meet her reflection’s on the wall.
“… a mirror…” Another object she only has limited experience with.
Artoria’s expression morphs into a frown at the sight of herself, after which she immediately looks away from this cursed reflection.
Disheveled hair that’s almost never been properly combed and brushed, chapped lips. Her eyes are bloodshot. Not that that’s a surprise, when the day before she’s cried enough to make up for almost 20 years of being unable to shed a single tear.
Emotions pile up inside one’s heart, ready to burst but unable to release — once that valve opens, there’s no stopping the overflowing feelings.
Artoria clenches her fist, her nails digging into the skin of her palm as these memories make her want to cry at her own embarrassing, sheer incompetence again.
After taking three steps back, Artoria’s back meets the cold tiles of the wall behind her. She slides down to the ground, hugging her knees to her chest as she sits on the cold bathroom floor.
She looks pathetic and abandoned — seeing it for herself hit like a sucker punch aimed straight at a sore bruise; Artoria doesn’t want to see her face ever again. It’s better she doesn’t. Pain is easier to ignore when one remains blissfully ignorant of the scars that remain.
‘I hate all of this…’
Artoria knows how miserable she is — stooped so much lower than she’d ever thought possible, displaying weakness she always knew better than to show — and how this doesn’t suit her at all. Where’s that smile she flashed whenever anything went wrong?
But in truth, this is Artoria, and always has been. Pitiful, a worthless good-for-nothing who can’t even believe in herself. Who wants to hide away and do nothing, too afraid to do anything wrong. Too sure she can’t do anything right.
She flinches when she hears the other door open, but this time, the steps are heavy. No grace in them, only a lot of weight and an annoying confidence that makes Artoria stick out her tongue in disgust.
Barghest.
Doesn’t that Fairy Knight have anything better to do than disturb Artoria’s wallowing in her own misery?
“Child of Prophecy,” Barghest addresses Artoria, all formal and serious. Somehow that’s even more annoying. “I have brought a change of clothes. I assume you are in the bath, so I will place it on the bed.”
Normally, Artoria would at least mutter a ‘thanks’… but when it comes to Barghest, that would feel like admitting defeat.
“All right,” Artoria says.
“Her Majesty has ordered me to prepare a meal for you. I’m not familiar with your preferences and intolerances, so I would appreciate some pointers.”
Artoria doesn’t want to accept food if it’s from Barghest. She really, really doesn’t. But her stomach feels like a black hole about to suck itself in at the mere mention of food. How long has it been since she’s last eaten…?
Her mouth waters at the thought of a meal.
“Anything’s fine,” Artoria mutters in defeat which she won’t forgive herself for. “But I want a big portion.”
At least this bit of defiance is necessary — a small hint of rebellion by asking for something that would cause extra effort.
If Barghest wants to play maid so badly, Artoria will humor her.
“Understood. I will return once I have finished preparations.”
Barghest leaves again, after which Artoria peeks into the room that serves as her prison. A stack of neatly folded clothes is on her bed, apparently left to herself to put into the dresser.
Artoria sighs. She can’t hide in this bathroom forever, can she? Not even hiding under the blanket worked.
“Why Bageko of all things?” Artoria mutters in annoyance.
The mind is beautifully capable of keeping itself from breaking down — focusing on one minor inconvenience, any little indignation, so it can block out the thoughts that would otherwise spiral and cause harm to itself.
Nobody and nothing can resist a convenient scapegoat, if only to stay sane.
Artoria drags her feet back to the bed, inspecting the spare clothes she’s been brought. None of them seem overly fancy or special; plain dresses of varying cuts. Some are white, most come in different shades of blue.
Underwear is stacked on top of the dresses, and the sight of it heats up Artoria’s cheeks. Someone has to have picked them for her, and probably imagined her wearing them.
Barghest, at the very least, has seen them, and would know Artoria’s underwear if she puts on any of them.
“Ah, screw this…!!”
Artoria grabs the panties and flings them against the wall without thinking, anything to get them out of her sight. The fabric has felt stupidly silky and nice, too.
Everything in Camelot is fancy and luxurious, especially compared to Artoria’s previous life.
This is practically mockery. Flaunting all this extravagance, which a common village girl wouldn’t even dare to dream of, like it’s the most natural, everyday thing to have available.
With a scoff at this utter gaudiness, Artoria takes the dresses and brings them to the dresser. She pulls out two drawers and throws in the clothes, not caring to keep them as neatly folded as they are.
Nothing else can suffer the wrath of her helplessness, so these pieces of clothing must do.
Once the drawers are slammed shut, Artoria releases a deep breath.
‘This sucks.’
She doesn’t understand why, but Artoria feels worse here than she’s ever done in Tintagel. Despite being surrounded by comfort and all the free time in the world, her life has narrowed down to this small point of existence.
Working one’s bones off is one thing when there’s some kind of freedom waiting around the corner someday — but once you’ve reached a dead end, no matter how big the space, it’ll feel suffocating.
No path leaves no goal, and nothing to aim for.
When the tunnel has no end, there’s no light waiting anywhere either — only more darkness, more humid cold that seeps to your bones.
How long would Artoria be able to stay in Camelot? Not that Morgan would let her go; that doesn’t seem probable. But Artoria has no idea what Morgan wants from her either.
‘No point in thinking about that…’
Artoria doesn’t understand Morgan. If she’s being honest, Artoria has to admit that she’s never truly understood anyone. Not even Fairy Eyes are a shortcut to understanding another; if anything, they make it more difficult.
Maybe Artoria doesn’t even really understand herself either. No way she could understand anyone else then.
Before she can follow that train of thought further, it halts when Barghest returns pushing a service cart in front of her. It looks laughable to see the oversized, bulky Barghest hunch over to push this too-small cart.
It serves that haughty fairy knight just right. Maybe it’ll add a pain in the back to that pain in the neck it apparently is to talk to someone much shorter who’s actually a normal height.
If only this petty grudge were a weapon, Artoria would be capable of taking on any enemy — including Morgan.
Like the perfectly chivalrous knight she irritatingly is, Barghest picks up a lone chair from one side of the room and places it in front of the service cart for Artoria to take a seat.
Deciding to act like she’s the superior one, Artoria stalks over and sits down on the chair, after which Barghest pushes the chair closer to the service cart that would function as a table, closing the distance.
‘… somehow this feels like she’s looking down on me…’
Physically, Barghest can’t help but look down on Artoria; the height difference leaves no room for an even eye level between the two. This is bad enough on its own, but when this extends to the mental side, Barghest clearly looks down on Artoria in every way.
Someday, Artoria will take Barghest down a peg for that.
“Please, enjoy your meal,” Barghest says, oblivious to the petty feelings directed at her.
“I’ll try,” Artoria mutters.
She doesn’t want to indulge Barghest like that. Despite what her begging stomach is praying for, Artoria hopes the food is practically inedible. If only because she could chew out Barghest for that.
But it doesn’t even look bad… not at all. In fact, this meal looks seriously high class. If Artoria had any table manners, she’d feel bad about eating such a grandiose meal in the first place.
Instead, she grabs the fork and digs in — the knife stays abandoned on the other side of the plate. Back in Tintagel, Artoria has rarely used cutlery to begin with, and she’s never had the opportunity to eat with a knife and fork. She’s good with her hands, and can manage with a fork.
Barghest stops herself from clearing her throat at the lack of manners, realizing that she shouldn’t expect too much from a fairy who lacks any proper education in etiquette or otherwise.
The harsh life is evident in all the small signs — blisters on Artoria’s hands speak of days of physical labor, missing toes she consciously tries to hide speak of hardships uncommon even for a poor village girl.
And the eyes — reddened from what must have been a harsh night, yet the warm emerald has never dulled. A glimmer of hope, and a strong determination shine in those eyes.
It’s a strength that Barghest can appreciate, even if it may not amount to much.
Artoria’s mouth waters even more after the first few bites than it had earlier when she’s only thought of food. Meat that’s so tender that it practically melts on her tongue, leaving a rich, savory taste behind, that makes Artoria wish it’d be all her taste buds would remember.
The side dishes complement this rich taste beautifully — vegetables adding a fresh note, and mashed potatoes so fluffy and soft, it’s like enjoying a cloud seasoned with the finest herbs and a pinch of salt.
Not even Artoria can deny that Barghest is a splendid cook. In fact, this almost makes up for all her flaws in personality and appearance. Almost.
No, not even close.
Once Artoria is done wolfing down the food, as though she has no appreciation for finer cuisine — when she’s enjoyed the meal more than anyone else could have — she can’t help but wish for seconds.
Not that she’d let Barghest know this. That’s a victory Artoria won’t grant her.
Begrudgingly, Artoria has to accept that Barghest has won this round in a battle Barghest doesn’t even know is happening between the two.
“A healthy appetite,” Barghest comments, biting her tongue when it comes to her thoughts about Artoria’s lack of grace. “As a cook, I take this as a compliment.”
‘Tch, there she goes, being cocky as usual… Damn you, Bageko…’
“It was all right,” Artoria concedes.
It wouldn’t kill her to simply admit how good the food tasted, but Artoria isn’t willing to take that risk regardless. If nothing else, it would sour the aftertaste too much. Maybe if there were a dessert waiting…
But no, Artoria shakes that idea out of her head. She’s growing way too cozy with Barghest, and with being in Camelot. Morgan, that cunning queen…!
“I will increase the size of the portion for tomorrow,” Barghest decides, even though Artoria hasn’t asked for it.
“… don’t you have anything better to do than playing cook?”
“I do not have a current mission, if that is what you mean,” Barghest says. “Her Majesty sent me to capture the Child of Prophecy that was said to be sheltered in Tintagel.”
“You’ve already done that, though,” Artoria voices her bitter reminder to Barghest.
A subtle, implicated way to tell Barghest she’s unwanted here. Not that she takes a hint. Dense like a rock with a body like a boulder.
“Yes, and I was planning to return to Manchester until I would be needed by Her Majesty’s side again. However, I was now tasked with seeing to your culinary well-being, Child of Prophecy.”
Great. Just freaking great, of all the Fairy Knights available, Morgan assigned Barghest as the babysitter. Artoria wants to throw up her own disgust.
“I don’t know why you’re bothering,” Artoria mutters. Barghest is confused by the remark, prompting Artoria to continue. “Why capture me? Morgan had all the other fairies suspected to be the Child of Prophecy killed immediately.”
“That is true,” Barghest agrees. “I do not know her reasons. That is of no concern to me. When she received word of the Child of Prophecy named Artoria in Tintagel, she changed her order to capture you alive and bring you here.”
Artoria scoffs. Barghest hasn’t even thought to ask about such a strange, out of nowhere change of command?
“You sure trust Morgan, huh.”
“Of course I do. You may not know this, Child of Prophecy, but Her Majesty is my savior.”
Artoria wants to laugh at that line — Morgan, who herself has told Artoria that fairies need no savior, and would turn on one if they had them? That Morgan being called by the title of the savior from ages ago, Tonelico? Ridiculous.
“And not only me — Her Majesty keeps the Moss and calamities at bay. I know no other fairy capable of such a feat, and no other fairy who would take on these responsibilities.”
“… I guess that’s true,” Artoria agrees.
Nobody but Morgan would be stupid enough to do so much for those who utterly hate and despise her, to the point of pushing a village girl to become the hand that kills the evil queen terrorizing Fairy Britain with her iron rule.
A selfish fool of a queen, for an egoistical land that relies on a prophecy to free them from their turmoil.
“You could not take her place. Not on the throne, not for this land,” Barghest reminds Artoria, though she doesn’t need to. Artoria is well aware of that without being told. “There is no point in going up against Her Majesty.”
Artoria doesn’t deem that worthy of a remark — rather, she doesn’t have anything to say.
Barghest finally takes a hint and leaves, taking the service cart along with her, and placing the chair back against a wall as to not be a bother in this empty room with a single inhabitant who’s never chosen to be here.
Alone and in peace, Artoria flops down on the bed, facing the ceiling.
“No point, huh?” Artoria repeats Barghest’s words with a bitter smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “I don’t need you to tell me that, Bageko…”
A stupidly loyal knight to a cold-hearted queen. And all Artoria has are fairies disappointed in her… and Ector who might be the slightest bit worried about her, or he just enjoys the peace and quiet now that nobody’s bothering him in his solitude anymore. She wouldn’t know — doesn’t want to know.














