#tomysoul

she sings to me, she brings me warm

i have never feel loved this way in other arms

her gaze makes me feel like she could easily enter my mind and decipher my dreams

when our bodies are near, i just want her embrace and lay in the crook of her neck

my hands can't left the skin, every centimeter soft as flower petals

and my head is always lured by her melty voice in my ears

i mostly hear the sound of her heartbeat in the room where the sun isn't welcome, i feel home

it's hard to me to think i wouldn't allow myself to be allured this way, i simply could never

My dearest

Time doesn’t stop for any moment, and we are witnesses in first row of it in this period. Even if this an irrefutable fact of our day-to-day, sometimes I still wonder how much more we need to wait for each other. For obvious reasons, thinking about it a lot everyday isn’t the best way to cope with it but I’m not sure if my stubborn heart can understand.

Here I lay in my dreams, where you fly me to the moon and make my head spin in joy, scenarios in my mind where the only thing I can think about is that love was made for me and you. Those are my comfort thoughts in your unintentional physical absence.

don't feel like i need a solve, just a relieve to the tears

i want to talk to the moon and make her the confident of my dream eater thoughs

being serenate by her shinning, subtle light in the darkness

and i'm sure they are so big cause everytime all alone someone feels like this

they go to speak to the ocean and moon waiting for return with a heartful conversation

i want to be serenate by the ocean waves, them putting me to deep sleep

How couldn't I cherish the moments when I was by your side?

The first time I talked to you... oh, I had to collect all my bravery just to ask a simple question to you and with the same I ran away after your answer.

And time passed, life made our paths connected. We started to know each other better. No my dear, I didn't hate you by any little. I was shy at first.

Sometimes (oftenly) I stayed at the school entrance just to say hi to you after your last class. Even if we could only say "hi, bye" because you had to go quickly cause you were awaited already to go.

You took a class with my one semester. I was very touched. I would have loved to take more with you.

Remember that dumb fight we had? I was hurt, and you were very hurt too. Even If in that time we didn't meant more for each other (or well, that was what we thought). God, our fights were always silly. I'm sorry. I never wanted you to be hurt. Never.

I still can't say when I started to fall for you for sure. Maybe since the beggining I slowly fell for you and the feeling had to keep sleeping deep in to me. Just how it is in this moment.

I think I never knew our city until I started to go out with you. We went to so many places, stores, events. When I go out by myself I just keep thinking "one time I was walking with her there" or "she showed me this place".

I guess... our place was that coffee shop were we could order italian sodas and talk about life in the sofas. And by the end, we wrote and drew on the walls with white cheap chalks. By this moment, I still wonder if they closed the shop.

There is a clothing store with story, a clothing store were I kissed you on the fitting rooms. You laughed every time I said you were teasing me because that wasn't your intention, it amazed you a lot.

I got carried away...

Hell, there's so much more to write. But it's late and well, it's not like I know for sure you will read this.

If you need me, I'm here for you.

If you don't want me, I understand.

If someday you feel like coming back to me, I will welcome you with open arms.

And if you can't love me anymore, my heart will understand and I'll treasure you as a friend... If you let me.

I don't care about the rest of the world If I could see you smiling to me again. See you happy and in peace.

I know i'm not so much, but all my feelings surpass all my excuse of persona.

I miss you so much; if I say I would like to think you miss me too, is it too egoist?

I'm once again laying on the floor thinking on the time we were together and having fun, I miss the simple times. Not only miss you as a lover, but as a my dearest and best friend ever I had.

I'm glad you have people to lay on, you deserve happiness but above everything you deserve peace, and I'm sorry once again for ruining the fragile peace you had before you and me together.

You... really made me see things in me. Fuck, you really made me to believe in myself more. And you inspire me. You are powerful. You are endearing, lovely, gorgeous from head to toes.

And I miss you so much. I miss that goodbye that wasn't allowed to us. I love you, I'm sorry, I'm crying missing you again... I can't help myself. I miss you I miss you I miss you.

I wish everything could be like in the fantasies to say "love is everything you need" but I know in reality, is harder just with that. I have nothing to give to you, I'm a miserable. But sometimes I liked to wonder about the future.

This is stupid, but when you said you wanted to move to another place I got sad... because I know I will miss you. But I said "please let me sleep in the stairs of the place you will live" and I think you understand that I wanted to live with you and you said "yes".

You once told me that from all the people you know, you wanted to live with me the more, other times you were like "oh, you will NOT stand me if we live together" and deep down on me, I wanted to think in the future we could have been roomates and prove how good we could have been together. That is just my cheesy ways to see life and love, you know I'm like that and it makes me embarrased, but is just the truth in my heart.

I always have been lonely. I always have been not trusty on everyone. It always have been difficult to me to find friends and adapt to new enviroments. I'm an introvert and also I'm easily shy around new people, this last thing makes me look not friendly and don't get along with everyone. However, I think I know a lot of people, but just as courtesy words and greets, so, I can't go and feel comfortable telling all the weird of my mind or asking them about their lifes. I don't have people to share my deep thoughts, my dreams or my fears on life. Sometimes they even get tired of me and leave me. But the people who stuck around with me really means a lot to me. I really have them in a high place, I really love my friends.

So when I meet you, I didn't knew how you will bury deep down on myself.

I never imagined I would have someone who will care that much about me. Someone to share my soul. And I loved to know more and more about how your brilliant mind works. The things that make us happy, the little silly things on daily life, the sadness and the fears. Those calls in the midnight, I will never forget. Everything I learned about you is precious to me. And everything that you know about me, no one knows any little like you. You are the only one who knows who I really am.

I miss you... I really do. I don't know what makes me feeling like that, it makes me a desesparate? A lonely person? A foolish? A needy one? Maybe I am all of them.

It impact me a lot the strong connection that I have with you and honestly... I wish never lose it. You are my favorite person.