#tom os

The headache had already started this morning when you woke up and your head felt extremely light. Of course, you spent the day like any other day and did not listen to your body’s signals and warnings. And now you are lying here with the worst headache ever while a thundering storm is passing by outside.

Huge raindrops patter against the only window in your small room and the lightning bolts that keep flashing across the dark night sky illuminate the room for a few seconds before it is shrouded in darkness again.

Sighing, you turn around again, the mattress giving way under you, and place one of your legs over your blanket. You stay in this exact position for several minutes until you finally cannot stand it any longer and straighten up completely. Tiredly, you look at the clock above your room door to check the time.

Past midnight, great.

Reaching over to your bedside table, you pull on the string of your bedside lamp, which immediately bathes the room in a warm light while you sit of the edge of your bed. With your elbows resting on your thighs, you run your hands across your face. How badly you would like to just scream very loud right now, but unfortunately that would wake up the entire orphanage. And honestly you can imagine nicer things than having to explain your scream to several children and supervisors.

However, at this moment it occurs to you what or – to be more precise, who – can help you now.

Slipping into your soft slippers, you finally get up and stretch yourself, your bones cracking a few times from the extremely uncomfortable mattress. You sneak towards the door and pick up a candle that you light with a match on the way. Carefully, you open the creaking door and peer out with your head to make sure that nobody is walking around the dark corridors.

As soon as you are sure that you are alone, you step out into the cold hallway, which is only occasionally illuminated by the light of the streetlamps outside and the lightning bolts. Precisely estimating every step you take, you move across the loud wooden panels that have already seen better days. Holding the burning candle in front of you, you take a closer look at the room doors and the numbers written onto them. Even though you are positive you would also find his room with your eyes closed.

Arriving in front of said door, you put your ear against it first and listen, waiting for some noises from the inside. But when you do not hear anything, you softly knock on the door before opening it, greeting you with a loud creak as well. Quickly, you close it shut behind you and your gaze falls on the room, which looks confusingly similar to your own. Just like every other room in this orphanage, to be exact.

“Tom?”, you softly whisper into the silence, waiting for an answer in vain as you come to quickly realize that he is asleep in his bed, snoring quietly, his wand tightly in his hand. A small smile creeps onto your lips at the sight of his messy hair. He would never voluntarily show himself to anyone like this.

Sitting down on the edge of his bed, you tap his shoulder carefully, but again he shows no reaction. A little frustrated, you roll your eyes. He has always been a deep sleeper.

“Tom”, you repeat his name, this time a little louder, accompanied by a rather rough shake on his shoulder. Finally, this has an effect on him when he slowly begins to move, apparently finding his way back into reality. Before you know it, however, his wand is directly pointed at you.

“Wow, cowboy. Calm down, it is just me”, you giggle and raise your arms in fake surrender. As soon as Tom recognizes you and your voice, he lowers his wand with relief and lets himself fall on his mattress.

“Let me sleep”, he grumbles, obviously offended that you disturbed his sleep.

“Tom, I am here for a reason”, you shake your head in disbelief as he tries to fall asleep again, although he did not even seem to wonder why you are suddenly standing in his room in the dead of night.

“Leave me alone, Y/N. Can that not wait until tomorrow?”, his rough, sleepy voice sounds through the room, and he does not move again, his back facing you.

“No, it cannot wait”, you reply, a little annoyed by the way he talks to you. “I have a terrible headache and do not know what to do about it.”

After those words leave your lips, he abruptly moves and turns to you, his eyes narrowed to take a closer look at you in the darkness which is sparsely lighted up by your dim flickering candle. It takes him a moment to process all of it before he finally points his wand at you again.

“Do not worry, I can fix that”, he states, but before he can even think of a spell that might help you, you snitch his wand from him in shock.

“Are you crazy?! We are not allowed to use magic in the muggle world, you idiot!”, you snarl at him while he can only look at you in utter disbelief that you could get a hold of his wand so easily. “Do you not think that I would have helped myself with magic a long time ago, stupid?”

“Well, if you really want to do it the harder way”, Tom rolls his eyes and takes his wand back before he gets up from his bed with you. “I heard about a miracle cure created by muggles. It is supposed to work wonders against any kind of headache. Come on.”

Feeling grateful, you follow him out of his room and into the hallway, where you slowly move down the stairs. Before you can reach the ground floor, however, Tom hastily pulls you up and to the side, hiding your figures behind a corner. He supports his hands next to your head against the wall while his chest is almost touching yours, you would only have to inhale once, and your bodies would meet. But you are much too frightened to breathe, holding your breath for unknown reasons until you also perceive the echoing footsteps that Tom noticed long before.

“Shit”, you quietly swear under your breath, but Tom immediately presses his hand to your mouth in order to silence you. At this exact moment, one of the supervisors comes running up the stairs, not realizing that two of his proteges are almost right next to him past curfew. Inwardly praying that he will walk the other way as soon as he reaches the top, you close your eyes and try to be as silent as possible.

A sigh of relief escapes your throat once the steps finally fade away in the other direction and Tom takes his hand from your mouth.

“Well, that was close”, Tom breathes out heavily, also relieved, and a smile immediately plays around his lips when he looks at you. It is just like in the old days when you were kids and scurried through the building together every night, always looking for the next adventure.

Taking your hand in his, he quickly pulls you behind him as you go down the stairs now. At the next corner he comes to another halt, causing you to accidentally run into his back, which he only comments with a shake of his head and a gentle chuckle. Once he made sure that you will not make any more nightly acquaintances, he pulls you with him and into the small, run-down kitchen of the orphanage.

Immediately, he fills a glass with water and searches every cupboard for his so-called ‘miracle cure’. Triumphantly he holds a package in the air when he apparently found what he was searching for. Intrigued, you inspect the packaging while Tom takes out a white pill and throws it into the glass with water. The small pill begins to dissolve in the water with a hiss right away.

“Drink this. Completely”, he orders you as soon as the pill has completely disappeared. After thanking him, you take the glass and then drink the fizzing brew. To this day, you do not understand who thought it was a good idea to make medicine taste absolutely gross and disgusting.

“That is inedible!”

“Well, then next time you better make sure that you do not stress your body to the limit! Of course you will get a headache then”, Tom replies to you, annoyed, crossing his arms over his chest when he apparently notices that his words sounded like he was actually worried. But he is Tom Marvolo Riddle, he does not care about anyone.

Almost.

“Are you worried about me?”, you ask in astonishment after you managed to empty the glass with one big last gulp. You look at him with one eyebrow raised, the corner of your mouth lifting slightly. It if were not that dark in the kitchen, you could swear you see his cheek turn red.

“Stop imagining things”, Tom playfully sticks out his tongue and gently snaps his finger against your forehead.

“I would not dare”, you giggle and place a tender kiss on his cheek as a thank you before you take his hand in yours and lead him out of the kitchen.

“Thank you, Tom. You are truly the best!”

The glasses clink on the serving tray as you try to keep your trembling hands under control, but you terribly fail while tears shoot into your eyes. A lump forms in your throat and you gasp in desperation, losing your composure after hearing the front door slam shut.

Slowly, you slump down and therefore with a loud rattle let happen what could have been foreseen already: a thousand shattered pieces of glass scattered across the floor around you while you cower against the wall, your elegant dress pulled over your knees, your forehead leaning against it. Heavy sobs rock through your body and tears find their way down your cheeks, dripping from your chin onto the expensive fabric of your dress.

You just wanted to spend some time with him. Together, in the house of your parents, who went on a daily trip with their close friends early in the morning, all part of the most notorious popular pureblood families in the wizarding world – the Nott’s, the Macmillan’s, the Malfoy’s, the Lestrange’s. And if his parents were still alive, probably with the Riddle’s as well.

This is primarily the reason why you even are in this position right now; crying and huddled in the living room because your fiancé hates you profoundly.

After graduating from Hogwarts last year, the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, you, descendant of the pureblood Black family, got engaged to Tom Marvolo Riddle, the last living heir of the Riddle’s. He would offer you a good future, they said, and you would never have to worry about anything again.

But nobody knows that in reality, your own beloved fiancé really does not want to have anything to do with you. He does not even want to stay in the same room as you.

You can’t explain why he acts like this towards you. You do not know why he harbors such an abysmal hatred for you and any clear-headed, rational person would have done something about it long ago. Unfortunately for you, you feel the exact opposite for him.

Your heart belongs to him and only to him.

You have liked him since you first met him at Hogwarts, back in 1938, when the two of you were sorted into the Slytherin house. This initial friendly liking has quickly evolved into something more than that over the years and lead you to where you are now, at a point where you would have never seen yourself back then.

You have already tried everything to convince him that you are not as bad as he seems to think. Every morning you bring him his breakfast, you give him everything he needs. Even when you were still at Hogwarts, you always looked after him, finished his homework for him when he was too busy to do it by himself, and helped him pass all of his exams.

And not once did you hear a thank you. Not then and not now either.

Slowly gathering your thoughts together again, you rub the long sleeves of your velvet dress over your damp face, wiping away all of your tears before you get up on shaky legs and begin to clean up the mess that you have created. After you went back to the kitchen with the broken pieces and some injuries on your hands, your gaze longingly slides out the window.

Outside, the sun stands high over the magnificent garden of the mansion, making the clear water in the fountain shimmer in its bright light. A gentle breeze blows through the air and rustles through the perfectly cut trees that line a small path through the garden.

The loud, excited voices that suddenly roar through the house snap you out of your daydream and you quickly wipe the blood from your fingers before you step into the huge marble entrance hall. You arrive at the front door just in time to open it for your parents, who, to your surprise, did not come back alone. You are amazed to find not too familiar faces in front of you as they climb up the stairs to the door where you are still standing.

“And that has to be Y/N. Oh, how you have grown!”, an older man smiles friendly at you and you return his smile with a certain uncertainty in your face.

“Darling, we brought guests over for dinner today. You surely remember the Lestranges?”, your father announces happily and only now do the faces that you have seen at numerous balls and celebrations seem familiar again. Especially one.

“Reinhard?”, you ask in amazement when you spot him standing behind his parents, a big smile on his face when he sees you.

“Y/N, how nice to see you again”, he grins, carefully pushing his way past your parents in order to slightly bow venerably to you, taking your hand in his to place a kiss on the back of it. “It has been some time.”

“I am sure you have a lot to tell each other”, your mother mentions in a sweet voice, but before she can continue, she watches how your facial expression changes from one second to the other as you look past them, out into the yard.

Next to the carriage with which they have returned, Tom is standing now, petting one of the splendid noble white horses before he joins all of you.

“Tom! There you are, I was already wondering where you went”, your father says, visibly pleased when he too spotted his future son-in-law, drawing everyone’s attention to him.

“Reinhard?”

“Tom?”

Within a few seconds, the two former best friends lay in each other’s arms, obviously happy to finally see the other again.

“Let us go inside. We want to show you our newest masterpiece of art in our wonderful collection, come on”, your mother announces happily and leads the Lestranges inside, but not without turning around to you once more. “The children can catch up on what they have missed.”

“I can’t believe it! You are really here, Tom. Man, you look even better than at Hogwarts”, Reinhard laughs, playfully pushing Tom to the side while you watch them in silence. “What are you doing here with the Blacks?”

“They kindly took me in”, Tom lies to him and for a moment you think he threw you a glance out of the corner of his eyes after uttering these words. His statement makes Reinhard realize that you were still there with them, who had apparently completely forgotten that you were even there.

“I am so happy to see you again, Y/N!”, he grins and takes a step closer to you, probably to be able to take a closer look at you. “Still just as beautiful as I imagined. And just as smart, I guess?”

Reinhard’s sudden compliments make you blush and your cheeks glow, which is why you nervously avert your gaze from him, directly falling on Tom, who looks at the scene in front of him with incredible resentment.

Unlike Tom, Reinhard was always there for you. You spent a lot of time together in your school days and if your parents had known about your close friendship, you are sure that he would have been your fiancé by now. Which, to be honest, does not sound bad anymore right now.

And yet your heart still belongs to Tom.

When you all sit together at dinner later in the evening, where your parents are talking about irrelevant things like Ministry of Magic, you keep making eye contact with Reinhard, who seems to be staring at you.

“Is there something on my face?”, you ask uncertainly and put your glass back on the table when you can no longer bear his piercing gaze.

“No, no, not at all. I was just wondering how a beautiful witch like you could have become so much more stunning”, Reinhard winks at you, causing you to swallow hard. You are not used to getting compliments, especially not from a handsome young man like him. Before you can answer to him, however, there is a loud clink and you startle, your eyes immediately fixed on the cause of the noise.

The glass, which you have certainly placed far away from the edge, is now lying in your lap, the little liquid that was still inside now spread over your elegant evening gown. You move your chair back in shock when, in the corner of your eye, you see how Tom puts away his wand. And not only did you notice Tom just now, but the rest of them follow your gaze.

“Tom, darling, how about you tell our guests how you and our daughter got to know each other”, your mother suddenly prompts him, not even realizing that he has just deliberately spilled your drink on you. But why did he in the first place?

„I would love to“, Tom puts on a really believable smile that no one but you questions and starts telling them how you met and fell in love with each other. He tells one lie after another, explaining the web of lies that you have spun around you over time to make your relationship as credible as possible, at least in front of other people. And suddenly nobody cares about you or your still soaking wet dress anymore.

“What a wonderful story”, Mrs. Lestrange applauds and everyone else seems to be completely enthusiastic about Tom’s fairytale. To top it off, he then reaches across the table to take your hand in his, just like a real affectionate couple would do.

You lower your gaze as he gently strokes the back of your hand with his thumb, trying your best to not show how uncomfortable you are. Oh, how much you wish that this were real, that Tom would actually treat you like this when you are alone, the same way as he does in front of your parents.

But he does not and deep down you know that he will never do.

“So, you are engaged?”, Reinhard scrutinizes the statement of his former best friend, his eyes focused on you suspiciously, as if he is expecting an answer from you and not from Tom. A slight pressure on your hand makes you flinch and look up.

“Y-Yes”, you force a smile onto your lips, whereupon Tom seems satisfied with your answer, letting go of your hand again with a - what seemed to you like a – disgusted expression on his face.

An uncomfortable silence spreads between the three of you, which is drowned out by the loud conversation of the adults on the other side of the table. Finally, making up your mind, you clear your throat loudly and get up from your chair, gaining everyone’s attention in a matter of seconds.

“Excuse me, I have to go freshen up for a moment”, you explain with a slight polite bow before turning away to leave the dining room.

“Reinhard, would you be so kind and help Y/N”, Mr. Lestrange asks his son, who stands up with furrowed brows, apparently just as surprised about this sudden request as you, but then follows you out into the hallway with no further objection.

“I really do not need any help, thank you”, you try to get rid of him as you walk up the large staircase leading to the first floor together, only wanting to be alone.

“Dinner like these are totally boring anyway”, he chuckles softly and shows no intentions of leaving your side any time soon, which is why you do not even try to search for further arguments. He follows you to your room where you are able to tear yourself away from him to put on a new dress while he waits outside in front of the door.

With an equally elegant burgundy red dress you step out of your room after a few minutes, Reinhard’s eyes greeting you with a sparkle.

“Wow”, he breathes out barely audible and takes you hand without asking to swirl you around, causing your dress to fly around gorgeously. Unintentionally, warmth rises in your face again and your hearts makes a barely noticeable jump inside your chest when he looks deep into your eyes after catching you back in his arms.

The loud clearing of a throat behind you makes you turn around in shock, only to see that Tom himself is now standing at the end of the corridor, not seeming very enthusiastic.

“We did not see you there, Tom”, Reinhard disguises his obvious nervousness with a laugh, acting like Tom had just caught you in doing something he should not have seen. Tom, however, does not even react to his words, but looks past Reinhard at you, his eyebrows raised meaningfully.

But when you do not move under his piercing gaze, his facial expression changes and he quickly approaches you, Reinhard instinctively pushing you behind him so that you can only see Tom approaching further over his shoulder. Before neither you nor Reinhard can say or do anything, Tom has already pulled out his wand and aims it directly at Reinhard, who flies back through the air only a few seconds later, hitting the hard marble floor at the end of the corridor with a thud.

“What the-?!”

“Come with me”, Tom orders, now standing directly in front of you. When you stubbornly refuse, he suddenly grabs your wrist to pull you away from there. No matter how much you fight against his firm grip, you cannot tear yourself away from him as he pulls you into the closest room, which turns out to be the library.

Once there, you can finally free yourself from his tight grip, but before you can reach for the doorknob to leave immediately, he locks the door with a spell. Angrily, you turn to him, despair written all over your stunning face.

“What is this supposed to be, Tom? Let me out of here, now!”, you command him in a loud voice, not caring if anybody can hear.

“What did he want from you?”, he asks you urgently and steps closer to you. Since the door is in your back, every possible escape route is blocked, and you are caught.

“We just talked to each other, you know. Like normal people do”, you answer irritably and cross your arms in front of your chest, not in the mood to justify yourself, especially not in front of someone who does not care about you at all and not after what he has done.

“But that did not look like it.”

“Tom, stop it.”

“You belong to me and nobody else!”

These words coming out of his mouth echo loudly through the dark library, his face wrapped in an eerie candlelight. Before you can even control yourself and fully process what he said, you severely slap him.

Frightened by your own horrible deed, you immediately pull your hand away, your gaze filled with fear, but the anger that keeps building up inside of you winning the upper hand after all.

“How dare you call me your property?!”, you scream in rage and tears form in your eyes because of your uncontrollable anger. However, Tom needs a moment to collect his thoughts after your heavy smack before he can answer you.

“You are my fiancé”, he spits out coldly, a touch of shock in his voice, apparently not expecting you to react like this.

“And that does not make me nowhere near your property! You never treat me like your fiancé anyway, so why now all of a sudden?!”, you bicker at him, your voice loud and constant, even though you would like to flee from this situation right away if you were able to.

But Tom does not have an answer.

“Fine, okay. If you have nothing to say to me, like you never have, then I will go back now and ask my parents to end this damn failed engagement and engage me with someone else who truly cares for me!”

Suddenly, without letting you time to catch your breath after your outburst, he presses you with your back against the door completely, his hands tightly grabbing your wrists, a little too tight for your personal liking.

“You mustn’t do that”, he softly whispers, his head lowered as if he does not dare to look you in the eyes.

“What is stopping me?”, you hiss, still full of anger and – probably for the very first time – hatred towards him.

But when you feel his lips on yours all of a sudden, all of these emotions evaporate and all that remains is your racing heartbeat, which is being repaired at this very moment. You never would have thought that at some point in your life the moment would come when Tom Marvolo Riddle, who absolutely loathes his fiancé, kisses you.

After kissing you, he looks straight into your eyes, and the Tom you met in 1938 is standing in front of you again. The Tom you fell so deeply in love with.

“I can’t explain it to you”, he finally breaks the silence, his gaze directed to the floor as he moves away from you, giving you enough space to breathe regularly again. You, however, do not say anything but just stare at him.

“I was not aware that I am capable of feeling such feelings for someone. I am unfamiliar with this feeling and I did not know how to deal with it, Y/N. I treated you badly because I did not want it to be true, I did not want to accept it. I could not imagine having feelings for the little nuisance that has always been running after me”, Tom explains, choosing each and every single word very carefully, trying to put his emotions into words which does not really work the way he would like it to. But that is how you know him. You know that this confession must be extremely difficult for him, but you can’t help but feel a sense of relief inside of you.

“When?”, you ask and manage, with this tiny little word, to make him look up at you. “When did you know?”

“Since I have been here. You served me every day and took care of me, even though I wanted to push you away from me with all of my might. You have already helped me so many times in the past without me even asking, you have always accepted me for who I am”, he desperately tries to but his feelings into words, asking himself what he is even doing right now.

“Tom..”

“No, I have to sincerely apologize to you. I had no right to treat you the way I did. And also today.. when I saw you with him and how well you got along, it finally became clear to me. Reinhard has felt something for you since our school days, I know that even though I could never understand, but now I do. I understand why he fell in love with you”, Tom continues without breathing, pouring out all of his feelings that he has hidden for so long.

“I understand if you want to dissolve this engagement and I will not stop you if that is what you want”, he quickly adds, looking at you with desperation in his eyes. He already prepares himself for the worst when you are the one getting closer to him this time.

“Idiot”, you smile slightly and place a gentle kiss on his lips while he looks at you puzzled. “I love you, I thought you knew that.”

“I know, but-“