#toidr

But Toidr was not okay. When they came home he just wanted to sleep.  He was nauseated and dizzy. For three days his parents watched over him, but then he quietly just stopped breathing. No one expected it, they were in total shock.

The whole family was heartbroken, but Noor took it particularly hard. She felt responsible.

- But sis, it was not your fault! How could it be?

- I made him climb higher than he should have. I pushed him!

Hdajk and Rusa were devastated, but kept on with their daily tasks. Hdajk’s belly was growing, but she felt no anticipation about her pregnancy. There was an indifference about her, and she hardly ever smiled anymore.

Rusa tried to comfort Hdajk, but felt that he was falling short. She was inconsolable.

So he started to spend most of his time away from the camp. The sadness was like a heavy carpet over the family, and it seemed like nothing could ever make them happy again.

Not even the birth of Mtyo put a smile on Hdajk’s face.

- I’m happy you are out of my belly, my sweetest, but your mama’s heart is filled with tears. How can I bring you anything but sorrow? Will I lose you too?

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It became a wonderful evening. The unmistakable smell of grilled meat made them all dizzy with anticipation.

- I can’t wait! Boui said Don’t you think it’s ready?

- Well, I believe it’s done Dubi said. Let’s eat! Children! 

- Yum! Yum! Yum! Noor and Eira finished their plates before the others even started.

Everybody waited in line to get their meat, something most of them hadn’t had for weeks.

Attracted by the tantalizing smell, even strangers came to ask for something to eat, and Toidr didn’t like it much.

- You don’t belong to our family! he said manly.

- Toidr, in this family we treat all strangers with respect. Give her a plate of food, and be grateful that we can share food with strangers.

Afterwords there was singing and dancing.

- I don’t know how you can dance now after all that food! Ob’hi sighed.

- Come on Ob’hi! Have some fun!

Hours later, tired and full, Hdajk and Rusa went to their cave to have some sleep.

- Now tell me, what happened there in Forgotten Hollow? What took you so long?

- Oh Hdajk, that place is grim. Really grim.

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- Father... what happened?

- You fell down from the tree, son.

- Oh..

- Are you okay? That was a bad fall. What were you thinking?

- I wanted to be brave like Noor!

- Toidr, your sister is three winters older than you, why do you compare yourself with her? You are you, and Noor is Noor!

- But father...

- Anyway, we are just glad you are okay, Hdajk hugged him. Now go and play with the other kids. But no more tree-climbing! Now give me a big kiss!

- Mother! Please, not in front of the other kids!

- Why not? I thought you were the brave one?

- Oh mother! It’s not the same!

- We can play hide and seek, Noor suggested.

- Sure!

They had fun for a bit, but then Toidr didn’t feel so good.

- I think I have to sit down, he told his sisters, my head hurts and I’m dizzy.

- We’ll sit with you!

- I’m so happy you weren’t badly hurt! Noor smiled.

- Were you scared? Toidr seemed to be his usual teasing self.

- I was!

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- Does uncle Klyg choose to live alone too?

- Klyg? But he doesn’t live alone! He doesn’t have a partner, but he is the head of the youth camp, so he has company all the time. And your cousin Igøg comes to see him quite often, althoug he doesn’t live with his father.

- Why doesn’t Igøg live with his father?

- He did for a while, but then Igøg’s mother decided to move back to her family. Maybe she was disappointed with Klyg, or maybe he didn’t treat her well, I don’t really know.

- If you are disappointed with our father, do we have to live alone too?

- Ha-ha! That will never happen! I promise you. I love and respect your father very much, and I know he will never disappoint us.

- What about auntie Dubi, she lives alone! Was she very disappointed with uncle Koryi?

- Not at all! Uncle Koryi simply died. That can happen. It’s not something we decide, it’s not anybodies choice.

- Can it happen to father too? Toidr was very worried. What if he have died already up there in Forgotten Hollow, and we just don’t know it yet? What if he never comes back? What will we do?

- My dear son. He will be back soon, I’m sure of it. Maybe tomorrow or the day after. Now get some sleep kids. And have faith, he will be here soon, I promise.

But even though she assured the children about the opposite, Hdajk was afraid that something had happened to her husband.

- Oh please Mrs. Moon, bring him back soon. I don’t care if he comes empty handed, I will eat bugs until the spring if it helps! Just bring him home safely...

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- Mother, why do we never talk about uncle Efhag?

- How do you know about uncle Efhag?

- It was just something Sanie and Nobi was talking about. Is it forbidden to talk about him?

- Well, no. Not forbidden. We just don’t. What he did was very shameful, and when we, his siblings, talk about him, we feel that shame.

- But why? What did he do?

- Okay, I will have to tell you from the beginning. Efhag was my older brother, and the twin of uncle Klyg, and just like you and Noor, they were always together.

- Efhag was always the most daring of them, and Klyg always wanted to do what his brother did. Most of the time Efhag also was blamed, and punished, for any prank the two of them did. Efhag was the one who said things that nobody else dared to say, and did things nobody else dared to do. He was brave, but sometimes also very selfish. He was the one who took leadership, but not always in a good way.

- When your father first came to Oasis Springs Efhag did go against the will of your grandfather in a very stupid and dangerous way, and for that he was punished. But this time Efhag didn’t back down, and continued to behave in a very bad and disrespectful way, so my father banned him from the family. He lost his trust and faith in him.

- And now? What happened to him?

- He lives in the outskirts of Oasis Springs. He had a partner for a while, but some people say that the spirits wanted to punish Efhag for his disloyal behavior, and that they killed Ajul to teach him a lesson. I don’t believe that, but anyway, he is alone now, as far as we know.

- I feel kind of sorry for him, no one should have to live alone. Especially not a twin! Noor said sorrowful, and looked at her sister.

- But you have to remember it was his choice, sweetie. He made this bed, and now he is lying in it. Besides, Klyg goes to see him sometimes. He never talks about it, but I know he does.

- But, but... can’t you forgive him? After all this time?

- I’m sure we could. But to forgive someone, they have to ask for forgiveness, and say they are sorry. I don’t think Efhag will do that.

- I could never live alone! Eira burst out. I love you all too much! But I still think it’s very sad with uncle Efhag.

- So do I honey-bunny. I really do.

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- Please, please Mrs. Moon, come out of your hiding and help us, Toidr prayed as his stomach rumbled.

To his disappointment, the moon kept hiding behind the clouds. And to make things even worse, his father returned empty handed.

- There was nothing, he sighed disheartened. I don’t know what to do...

- This is hopeless, Hdajk was wearied and on the verge of falling apart.

- Don’t loose faith in me, Rusa tried to comfort her. Tomorrow I will go further away, maybe as far as Forgotten Hollow. It will probably take a few days, but I will not come back empty handed again. I promise you.

- Forgotten Hollow? Just the name gave Hdajk the chill. Rusa, it’s too dangerous!

- I have decided. It must be like that. This can’t go on.

The kids were not to happy about eating bugs for dinner yet again. Except for Noor, she was happy just to eat whatever.

They went to bed early, but didn’t sleep well. Forgotten Hollow spooked in the minds of both of them.

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- Mother, I am very hungry! Toidr had a taint of despair in his voice.

- I know, son. We all are. Let’s hope your father comes home with something to eat tonight.

- And if not?

- We will manage, Hdajk comforted him and wiped a tear of his chin. Hey! Don’t cry. Do you want to go and catch some bugs?

- I hate bugs! They taste awful!

- I know my sweetheart. But we don’t have much choice these days. Come let’s have just a few to stop the hunger, and then I will tell you stories about when you were a baby.

- The day you were born you were in such a hurry! I even told your father not to bother to get Koem Baba to help, because it would be too late anyway.

- That night the storm was shaking the mountains, and the clouds hid the stars, it was one of the worst storms that fall. But just after you were born there was a total silence and the full moon lit up the sky and blessed you. It was magic.

- And that’s why I will always be blessed by the moon? Toidr asked.

- That’s right. Even when things are very difficult, the moon will remind you that you will be okay.

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