#tobedeleted()

again i will be ok! but just wanted to let everyone know i haven't stopped or quit, i am just dealing with issues unfortunately. (i will be reblogging this to my other sideblog because it will be the same post anyway)

I'm really losing myself. My mental health has been so bad. I'm unhappy every day and my parents treat me like an errand mule with no gratitude. I do all the grocery shopping. I wash sometimes 40-60lbs of laundry a week. I cook and clean. I try to take care of my mom's anxiety attacks and all of her other issues. My brother and father always put me down. I just want to go to the hospital and cry. I can't cry in my own room without being questioned. "Why are you acting like this?" They all treat me like my mental health doesn't matter. I'm so tired of it. The hospital just rushes you out of there if you aren't psychotic/schizophrenic or bipolar. I really wish I didn't deny my chance at going to that respite center. I tell my therapists that I'm generally unhappy and even they don't know what to say. Depression and anxiety are swallowing me up. I'm struggling. I don't know what to do besides exist. The highlight of my days are going to sleep, and even then I get nightmares and wake up screaming. There's never any fucking peace. Sometimes I just wish I wasn't here.

And I have to put this one the dash but yeah, theres nowhere else I feel I can put it. 

(a western honeybee can live for 152 days)

EDIT: oh, if you are wondering, Jean didn’t add anything to the last part of this short, when they show new intro, since he was watching this just after SttS and already commented on it a lot.