#to unknown

My heart Won’t restart Without the thought of you So what am I to do I guess I’ll walk away And maybe someday I’ll look back and say That I was alone But I held my own For you It’s true And I keep myself calm As I read off my palm The words that I said Inside of my head They read My heart Won’t restart Without the thought of you So what am I to do I guess You’ll walk away And maybe someday I’ll look back and say That I was alone But I held my own For you It’s true Cause now that your taken And I’m left forsaken I’ll stay by your side Along for the ride Only now as a friend There to defend You so you won’t be like me cause can’t you see My heart Won’t restart Without the thought of you So what am I to do I guess You’ll walk away And maybe someday I’ll look back and say That I was alone But I held my own For you It’s true Cause with you around I have found I don’t dare To breathe in air Into my lung Which has been hung By a rope Made of hope That you’ll be around When I hit the ground Will you be around when I have found A piece of me For all to see That was meant for you Cause if only you knew I’d take a bullet for you Would you see me Any differently Cause that piece of me Is this poetry

the thought of living without you scares me more than anything ever has and suddenly that possibility has become very very very real to me. you could be taken from me at a split second, at a moment’s notice, and i don’t know that i could continue without you. i don’t think i know how to go on without you. i don’t want to have to learn to survive without you beside me. you’ve been a fixture in my life for so long, your arms have been so tight and comforting around me in some of my hardest times, and i hate that you’re in the situation you’re in because i couldn’t be enough for you. i want you to be okay, i want to piece you together. i want to be enough for you. i want you to survive and be able to walk beside me and i want to support you and be enough for you. i’m so sorry that i haven’t always been, but i’ve realized so much this week and i truly do not know how i would live however many days/weeks/months/years i have left without you around. 

i try really really hard not to be bitter but you always tell me how i need to improve myself and not let my mental illnesses take me over, but i don’t think you understand how hard that is. i will never ever ever be rid of my personality disorder. i have it for life. i understand that perhaps my mental illnesses are not pleasant for you to deal with, but realize you can detach yourself. i live with them & i’m balancing so much all at once. i wish that you would step back and give me a break and realize i’m trying my best even if you don’t think so

you need to learn how to talk about things other than yourself and also how to read the situation… if someone is talking about something important maybe dont interrupt to talk about urself ? its a concept… im not sure u can grasp it but i’d really love it if u tried

i really want you to be happy and pain free. youve had to struggle with a lot and you still are handling a lot and i really admire you. thank you for being my friend when you dont have to and thank you for being so supportive of me… i really appreciate you and hope that good times are in your future

(thank u for enabling me) i had high hopes for you and i still kind of do, but things that you are saying are really reshaping how i think of you. i suppose even though we have clashing opinions we can still get along and benefit each other but. if things that you believe go against my fundamental rights then i think we may have issues… you havent said anything along those lines yet but im waiting, waiting for you to say something like that, because at this rate is seems more than plausible.,