❝ Welcome, welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! Where redemption is as close as you want it to be! Step right up and --- ❞

            He stops short when as he catches sight of the “ customer “ who had stepped into the lobby, his showman’s smile frozen on his face like a video that had lost internet connection mid-stream. It would have been next to impossible not to recognize the individual in question, even if he hadn’t been standing juxtaposition to a massive portrait of himself and the rest of the “ royal “ family hanging on the lobby wall in an ornate, lacquer frame. 

            Alastor blinks, a twinge of amusement slipping around the edges of his asperous smile as he twirls his microphone into a casual fold behind his back.

            ❝ -- well, my my my! ~ This is quite a surprise! I wasn’t expecting our little news segment to drum up such high profile clientele! I must admit, you don’t exactly seem like the redemption type - but! Here at the Hazbin Hotel, we certainly won’t judge! After all, judgement is why you’re here in the first place, isn’t it? Ha - ha - ha ~ ❞

            He gleaned, a laugh-track that sounded as though it was being played through a phonograph crackling to life from the very air around him to echo his amusement. The radio jockey cants his head to one side, his eyes wrinkling in the corners beneath the press of his smile.

did u just call hellshounds furries? akjshaf

oops    ───    busted  !

it    had    been    a    risky    plan  ,    even    she’d    known    that  ;      but    she’d    been    hungry    and    this    place    was    so    big    they    surely    had    enough    to    share  ,    right  ?         well  ,    that    question    was    about    to    be    answered    as    deville    was    caught    red  ―  handed    rummaging    around    in    a    fridge    that    wasn’t    hers  .

                  --------- -  surprised,  MISMATCHED  eyes  roam  freely  over  the  figure  of  the  man  standing  in  the  hotel  lobby  (  could  it  even  be  called  that ?  a  PISS  POOR  excuse  of  one,  perhaps,  if  you  ask  ANGEL  ),  and  maybe.  MAAAYBEEE.  angel  shouldn’t  blurt  out  the  first  thing  that  comes  to  mind  when  he  sees  THE  king  of  hell  himself,  but  a  severe  lack  of  self-discipline,  combined  with  his  even  WORSE  lack  of  self-preservation  skills,  make  for  a  molotov  cocktail  of  bad  decisions  at  all  times.  so,  what  he  SHOULD  say  is,  

                  WOW,  I  CAN’T  BELIEVE  IT’S  REALLY  YOU  !!  WHAT  AN  HONOR  !!

                  but  what  he  ACTUALLY  says,  laughter  in  his  voice,  is,

                                   ❛  Huh.  You  sure  are  a  lot  shorter  in  person.  ❜

                  a  rapid  series  of  wide-eyed  blinks,  nearly  appalled  by  his  own  stupidity  -- -  is  he  trying  to  get  himself  killed  ??  again  ??  this  time  in  a  much  less  fun  fashion,  no  less.  with  a  mild  flinch,  angel  tries  to  remedy  the  situation  -- - 

                                   ❛  I  mean,  most  people  are  shorter  than  me,  seein’  as  I’m  fuckin’  eight  feet  tall,  but  honestly,  I  pictured  you  way  taller  than  this.  At  least  a  solid  6′5″,  but  you  gotta  be,  what,  MAYBE  6′0″?  Truth  be  told,  just  always  kinda  thought  your  wife  was  MASSIVE.  Jeez.  ❜

im pulling all biblical stuff outa my arse as well. it’s hazbin rp, not a reinactment of the bible. you’re fine :)