#tmf essay

- liana flores: papercut

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Listen, the whole song itself fits him. (I'm talking about TMF Drew of course.) But this single line speaks so many volumes at once about his character, at least that's what it feels like to me.

Long ramble below.

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"to need someone" - drew needs people in his life and he can't let go. As many other characters in the show. He will go to greater lengths to keep his loved ones always close to him. He may overburden Zoey with money and gifts and riches, and may even try and lie a little about the music club (in episode 9) so Jake wouldn't leave him for them permanently.

He needs them. He needed Zoey. He needed Jake. Or, at the very least, he couldn't bear the thought of losing them, and he did everything in his power to not let them go.

Or at least he tried.

But, what's a bit interesting to me at least, is that, while the whole season he was afraid of them leaving him, he ended up leaving them first. (At least in some way. I moreso am referring to when he found out they betrayed his trust and lied to him).

And it's even more interesting to see that Drew doesn't seem like he wants to be near them again. (Which, let me remind you - does not mean he doesn't love them anymore. In fact he would never be so hurt and felt so betrayed if he "didn't care about them".)

For the Gacha "Teeth" MEP, you might be aware that RosyClozy contributed herself. (You can find it on her ExtraRosy channel.)

For the MEP, and for the song, she chose Drew and Zoey.

The whole song itself is about manipulation, a disguise, distrust (which might've meant that Drew was sceptical of Zoey before their break-up), but that's not what I'm talking about.

In the MEP we can see them on a phone call, Zoey trying to apologize and get back with him, with a red string attached to both of them, a black butterfly passing by both of them, while Drew looks unsure, or even dead, or done. I don't know how to explain it.

Butterflies usually symbolize Change or Rebirth, and black can symbolize Death. So take what you will from that. (To me, it seems like their relationship Changed in the sense that it will never be the same, and their relationship is Dead. But that's just my own personal interpretation.)

What I'm trying to focus on is Drew's expression. I don't think he's going to get back with Zoey, although it's clear he was upset over her lies, over the break-up, and he didn't want to lose her, and you could even say he was afraid of losing her a bit (I'll get into that in a quick bit), he seems done with her.

Now, about Jake. (We got much more canon content to work with here.)

Drew, the whole show, was very obviously afraid of losing him. Was very obviously jealous of the attention he gave to the music club, instead of him. How close he got to them, and how little time he started spending with him. How he started lying more and more, and how much afterwards Drew realized how Jake was always lying to him (him pretending not to be a "music freak".) How Jake never "trusted him" in the first place (not enough to tell him the truth, at least).

(none of this is meant to bash on Jake lol I love him)

But, even after all that yearning, all those attempts of bringing him close to him again, all those angsty drew fan-edits, all those aus where the music club and the jomies become friends, comes the infamous Drake-up we're all very well aware of by now.

There's a lot to take from it. But I'm going to focus on this one single line that articulates my point directly.

"I'm done with you."

Just that. Plain and simple. He's done with him, and has no plans of making amends, of apologizing to, or forgiving him. He's just done. With him, and with any hopes of things being the same as they were. He realized how little he knew about him, and he himself said "Glad to know we were never friends anyway." (Or something akin to that, at least. I'm writing from memory here.) He felt betrayed, and he didn't want to deal with him anymore.

He needed them, yet they hurt him so much he left them first.

Yet, does that really mean he doesn't need them anymore? That he still doesn't yearn for Zoey and Jake? That he just "simply let go", and is on a healing journey?

Hell nah.

He still, deep inside, has not gotten over them... There's simply no way.

But I'm getting ahead of myself - onto the next lyric of the fricking song.

"and not be needed anymore."

Ohhhh boy. Where do I begin.

Ok, to put it out there quickly - Drew's love language is gifting. Giving money, items with high materialistic value. He does this to show other people he loves them, and by extension...

For them not to leave him. (This is more prevalent in him and Zoey's case.)

You see... Drew may, and this is technically but a theory, but he may believe that he has nothing to give if it weren't for the money he had, for the money his dad gives him.

And with this, with his parents high income, he suddenly, as a person, a friend and a lover, has Value and a Purpose - something others could rely uniquely on him.

He canonically gives this to his loved ones, such as Henriam, Zoey, Jake. This is shown by him handing out Gacha switches to the jomies in freshman year - (which he has likely done similiar things again) - and him constantly buying whatever Zoey asks him to buy, and by extension doing whatever the hell she wants. ("Anything for you, babe." (I cringed writing that ngl-)). Because he may have rather be used than left? Or not? Idk

Now, how he became such an insecure mess to the point where he possibly started thinking his money is what makes people love him in the first place, I do not know. Many people speculate his parents are oftentimes absent in his life, and in order to compensate for their lack of attention given to him, they overburden him with gifts instead - which makes a lot of sense for a lot of aspects in his character. Mayhaps, that's why he feels such an overwhelming urge to not let go of his loved ones - or to do anything in order to not let go off them - because that's where he got the most attention and love and care from. When Jake and Zoey started suspiciously not being in his life as much, and when they started paying less attention to him, he was immediately sceptical of this, and quickly grew jealous of the music club. Like, very quickly. I wouldn't be surprised if he was always this wary of the amount of attention a loved one gave him or not. I suppose, to an extent, it's simply strategic for him to do.

You could also say, in case his parents work a lot for the money to the point of being absent, that he may have internalized a sentiment of The Money They Receive being more important than Him, their Own Son. Because, if he mattered more, would they not pay attention to him as much?

However, those are all theories and speculation, and quite reaching too. But they make sense, if you really think about it, and squint your eyes in the right spots.

But that wasn't the only thing he was needed for.

Jake. Him again.

Drew was Jake's first friend. Ever since Drew reached out to him in freshmen year to become his friend, possibly after noticing his loneliness, Jake was no less than ecstatic. After all his loneliness, and years of torture and harassment, he was finally chosen by someone to be their friend, to be there for him. He was capable of starting all over, and finally find a friend that could accept him.

...except, he was never fully accepted, or at the very least never fully accepted, for he never opened up about his passions. He always felt insecure, especially when Drew and the others would bully the music club right in front of him. He knew he didn't quite belong, and he had to pretend he was someone who he wasn't, in order to be liked, in order to not be lonely anymore.

This is important.

Now, Drew was entirely unaware of this. He didn't know anything about his passion behind closed curtains. All he knew was that "people back in middle school didn't like him very much".

And we can see that Drew cared. He stood up to a "friend" who made Jake visibly insecure in front of him during freshmen year (ep9 - flashback at the start of the episode), and he stood up to him, and turned down his offer to play soccer with him afterwards, because he cared about Jake.

(the Reason it wasn't the same for the music club, is because of multitude of reasons, A, drew feeling lied to, B; drew being jealous, and probably more reasons beyond that.)

Either way, I am going off the rails here, so to speak. What I was trying to say, that Drew was an important part of Jake's life, and by extension, Jake needed him. And couldn't bear the thought of losing him either.

...yet, for reasons we are aware of, it wasn't perfect, and it never could be.

The dromies were never necessarily the "perfect" "option" for him. They were publicly against the Music Club, the very place Jake felt he belonged to. Jake knew (in his mind), that if he were to be honest, he would possibly not be accepted, and would be all alone again, and he couldn't let this happen to him.

And with that, Jake needed him. But Jake needed him, because, at the time, he had no one else.

Drew was the best "option", because he was the only option, by some logic.

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In a way, and in a sense, Drew was needed. And I would be surprised if he were to lack acknowledgement of that. For his money, he was wanted and was needed - and while that was, quite frankly, and quite obviously, not what he wanted or needed out of any of his social relationships - it was what made him unique, separate, and wanted. And like I said, it was not just the money.

It was definitely not what he wanted. When he realized Zoey (supposedly) dated him just for his money - he immediately broke up with her, and was clearly shown to be upset.

For all the reasons he was needed, he has the people he loved most around him.

But as time would pass, the very thing that made him more loved than most would start to fade.

In Zoey's case. Oh boy.

Drew's suspicion over her started since episode 5, where he voiced his concerns over her not asking him to buy anything for her.

Which made him worry.

For one, the money he had, it was how he had shown love, and what made him "needed". If Zoey didn't want any of it, it would almost feel as if Zoey didn't want any of Drew. And that she didn't need him anymore, for whatever reason.

Had she not loved him no more? Had she found someone better to fulfill her needs?

He could only hope not.

Yet... Here we are, very well aware that Zoey has a... "Sugar-daddy", who's a college student, and is another reliable source for her money. I don't have much to elaborate on, and even if I did, it's not relevant to the topic at hand. The important thing that ties her into Drew's character, is that, in some form of way or another, she didn't "need" him anymore. Or she didn't want him.

(which you could argue is false. She clearly didn't want the break-up to happen. "Just... Please don't tell Drew about what you saw." That line sounded genuinely sad coming from her. As if she was worried beyond not being able to gold dig off of him. (I got this theory from @sobeksewerrat otherwise my stupid head would still think Zoey would never care about drew, yet here I am. I do think she cared about him, *AT LEAST* at one point.) Or how she canonically called back to him to apologize (see the Teeth MEP for reference), in hopes of getting back together with him. It could go beyond the reasons of "oh she just wanted his money". She already is dating that sugar-daddy. A small part of me thinks she still genuinely cares about him in some way. At least a bit. Idk.))

Because, If she *did* need or want him, she wouldn't date someone else behind his back, right?

And so, when drew realized he knew he wasn't wanted, (which reminds me of his lime in the TMF comic where he tells Hailey to "know where she's not wanted", which I feel like ties into this whole mess and maybe even his home life), what else would he do but cut ties with her.

I don't think there's much to solve here. I don't think there's much hope, and better yet, I do not find there to be a good reason for them getting back together, and the black butterfly especially makes me think their relationship really is over. Though that's just me. I may turn out to be entirely false, and by the end of the show they are happy together in a healthy relationship. Who knows what Chloe is planning?

I am running out of time and may rush the following statements to be said. I sincerely apologize for this.

Jake, oh Jake.

He needed him, and he sorta depended on him, for a long time. In his own words, "you guys were there for me when I had no one else! But...", clearly stating that they were practically all he had, until the music club.

Drew didn't know about Jake's passion for music. Or about the amount of bullying he had to endure for his passions. Or his liking to the music club dating back all the way to freshmen year. Or his insecurities, or how he felt unsafe around the dromies, for he was afraid they would not accept him.

Drew knew absolutely none of that.

(And I am not blaming Jake for not telling him. Jake had his own trauma that caused him to be extremely secretive with his true self, otherwise he would put himself in a very vulnerable position by outing himself as another "freak". I am not saying that it was OK for him to lie to Drew, but it explains him. His behaviour. )

So, just imagine Drew's surprise, after Jake decided to join the music club, the very group they themselves targeted. He was, of course, confused.

Jake would say, he's "doing it all for daisy, and he'll leave eventually".

Well, now we know that's not how it turned out.

And we know Drew didn't take this well.

But drew didn't exactly know how much the club meant to Jake. Jake finally felt safe to be himself, free of worries JDUDJDD, ajjdjeoa, free of fear of judgement. He was finally allowed to be, unabashedly, himself.

..which is sad to think about, how Drew accidentally made Jake feel unsafe all these years.

Jake finally realized; he had a place where he felt truly safe.

And that place was not around the Dromies.

And suddenly, it was almost as if Jake didn't... Need the dromies. He didn't need Drew anymore.

Not that he didn't care about drew, of course - but now, if Drew were to cease to exist, Jake would still have the club. He would not be all alone, like he used to.

Suddenly, Zoey didn't need Drew anymore. And now, not even Jake "needed" him, because he was not their only source of joy.

He was not needed anymore, yet he still needed them.

As he slowly starts realizing Jakes JDUDJD relationship with the club positively growing, he starts getting paid less attention. He grows suspicious.

Because if he's not needed no longer, why would anyone care about him? And if nobody cares about him, who would he have left? Who could he love? Who could give him the attention he might have never truly received at home?

He would be alone.

Drew was, too, afraid of being alone and abandoned. Just like Jake. Just like many other characters in this show.

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He knew what it was like, and what is still like, to need someone, yet not be needed anymore. For there were other people to fulfill the spot he used to fill in other people's lives, except they would do "better".

Anyway bisexual ass drew "essay" oveRrR (/j-)